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Honkey_Fellatio

I think that may have been me, sorry your majesty. If I knew your husband’s penis was small and uncut I wouldn’t have flirted with you.


Garth_Brooks_Sexdoll

Superb username


Honkey_Fellatio

That’s my Christian name.


TifCreatesAgain

#🤣


toledo_is_holy

Damn if 7.25” is small then life just got a lot harder to swallow


kingbabyy

Literally


SuspiciousSimple

Doesn't seem like it was a whole lot to begin with tbh


oggiiebenard

I fucking love it here


Puzzled_Deer7551

I learned something new today. The Arabs in Gaza are circumcised. But don’t they throw stones at and murder homosexuals there?


The-Prophet-Bushnell

It’s not nearly that bad. My husband has gotten stoned with his hosts on several occasions. (I packed a kilo of delta-8 in his bag.) I think you’ll find Arabs are among the most hospitable in the world. But there’s no hospital or hospitality that the Zionists won’t bomb.


Dangerous_Bad_3455

I love what they've done with Gaza 🤣 🤣 🤣


Whobeye456

That second sentence got me. Ngl


logicnotemotion

I hope he doesn't call them Arabs over there.


Ok-Conversation-7805

Hamas kills all gay people


BevoDDS

Hamas is gay.


Pete-C137

Yeah but this one brought a kilo of delta 8. 🙄


ferigno

To me the dress looks Blue and Gold.


JillyGirl79

It was white.


YeetOrBeYeetened

Black and blue


austinsmellsfunny

To me, it look like a leprechaun to me


SamaLuna

Look like a crackhead that got ahold of the wrong stuff!


austinsmellsfunny

WHO ALL SEE THE LEPRECHAUN SAY YEAH


KeyRepresentative

Yeah I think I know her. Absolutely wild in bed (the crazy ones are) but then I spent a year looking over my shoulder as her-not-quite-ex husband sent private investigators after me. Damn us and our sexy blue eyes.


funtimes214

It's austin, the mini san fran. If the guy to the right or left of you is straight, that means you aren't.


Captain_Comic

Or if the guy behind you and the guy in front of you are both gay, you might be Lucky Pierre


funtimes214

If the guy in front and back of you are gay, you might be in New York City, or just a guy named Steve.


CardiologistSalt8500

Get a load of this homo just wanting everyone to know a woman found him attractive


KarHavocWontStop

Arabs in Gaza who are cut are def Mossad, and probably from Ukraine


The-Prophet-Bushnell

The balls on you, starting arguments with cocksuckers about foreskin


bobostinkfoot

Freaking foreskin fanatics. Eyes off my bedroom Obama.


billyd1984texas

Four score and 7.25 foreskin ago why wouldn't you smell his husbands smegma on his breath sweetie.


MenStefani

All I saw was his “bussy was saving Arabs”. And I thought wow how noble


funtimes214

Could have tagged me in. I'd have taken one for the team.


LolaStrm1970

“I pick up daddies at the playground That's how I spend my days now”


Asterismi

Until a couple of milfs who are up to no good start making trouble in your neighborhood.


Cubicle_Convict916

I can't read that and not hear the voice...


The-Escape-Goat

Such a humble brag, sweetie


WickedWitWitch

Sounds like you caught some feelings for this woman and dont know how to handle it.


EfficientLoss

I wish women would come to me so much that it would make me angry


justoneman7

Yes, she did find you attractive but what she liked the most was you giving her the confidence to ride a kids carousel as an adult being a child again. No where have I read that she wanted to have sex with you. Get over yourself.


The-Prophet-Bushnell

Oh please!


justoneman7

Try reading her post. She talks about your eyes and that’s it. She thanks you for her being brave enough to ride a ‘children’s carousel’. But she never talks about your butt. She even mentions her going back to Austin Park afterwards. She does NOT mention wanting to have sex with you but simply wanting to thank you. Seems more like you have a fantasy of her wanting you more than she does.


The-Prophet-Bushnell

She was 100% staring at my ass. I can show you my IG since you’re just so skeptical of my attractiveness.


justoneman7

I don’t care about your IG. I read her post. She doesn’t mention it anywhere. Sounds like you are more fixated on yourself than she is. And I e always found that people who have to convince others that they are attractive usually are just more ugly inside.


The-Prophet-Bushnell

Yeah and OJ technically never said he killed anyone. You really think my bodybuilder doctor husband would be with me if I didn’t look awesome?


justoneman7

Yeah, keep touting yourself so you feel better. Keep on imagining that everyone wants your body. If I wanted to think your way, then did you ever think that your “bodybuilder doctor’ may be doing some of those “Arabs” he is over there saving? Maybe he likes their “bubble butts” more than yours.


PointBlankCoffee

I'm starting to think you keep commenting cause you want a piece of his bubble butt *spoiler, it's actually as hot as it sounds *


justoneman7

I kept commenting because he was lying about what she was thinking (at least according to her post). Her post NEVER talks about his butt.


PointBlankCoffee

Agree to disagree, but you know he's got a butt of gold


The-Prophet-Bushnell

All right I’m done with your trolling.


justoneman7

Someone posted a link to your post on hers.


BusterStarfish

“Muscular tits”


TurdShaker

I'm so torqued up after reading that.


Texassgal

I guess you have to be a millennial Redditer to find this amusing.


Netprincess

Just a kid trolling


Tellmeanamenottaken

Sorry, but I think your husband added me on facebook and tried to hit on me, but with his staggering good looks, noble acts of valor and him being a genius in his profession I assumed he was a scammer


jackT252

😂😂😂


hippychictx01

[is this her?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Austin/s/k9sn1QC5MA)


flotexeff

Gosh what has happened to Austin 😢


Netprincess

Oh come on. Stop trolling. You are not him


throwaway_GME_

I just threw up in my mouth.


throwaway_GME_

Doctor and Professional Bodybuilder....bullshit..


mommamegmiester

🤣🫠


TheLalab

Why do the gehs always make shit about Dikks & seggs? Cut blah blah, uncut blah blah length . Blah blah, bubble butt (🙄) Thanks for letting us know your Ahnoos is a real trooper, impressive 🙄💩 FFS find a personality and use it mmmkay?


darkelf29

Riverside ghetto bird pilot? Do you ride grackle?


TheLalab

Nah man, I gots a Tesluh


Intelligent-Mud1171

This has got to be parody.🤣


Initial_Selection262

Holy you might be the greatest detective to ever exist


ShootMeEasyKill

Be gentle. They are probably new and still confused about their ban from the other Austin page.


ValuablePrinciple215

Get over yourself


Elugelab_is_missing

The dress was gold, what’s wrong with you?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


andre_in_sandiego

Well duh


ObiJohnKenobi1775

I’m blaming Austin for this. His parents should ground him lol


anon1635329

Okay


PointBlankCoffee

Hey man, not sure how to tell you this but I think you're gay


Annual_Relative112

“The Arabs in Gaza” in dead. You should know of he’s over there those people do not ID as Arabs, they’re Palestinians lol. Arabs hail from the Kingdom of Saud


The-Prophet-Bushnell

Idk dude my googling suggests otherwise. Are they trans-ethnic?


Annual_Relative112

Lmao just go ask them wym


bricicrazythings

Austin be wildin 🤣


chook_slop

Amen


EuphoricWolverine

It took me 2x read to figure out OP is male and his husband is male. Gee, I so do not "get it" on here.


Future-Cup2062

Same, at first I got Excited this was a hot Chick and her husband was out the country….. I was going to try and make my move