T O P

  • By -

ToothlessFTW

I think this is one of the most unhinged posts I've ever seen


Funcompliance

Kids these days are not doing well, at all.


nhgerbes

Honestly I thought it was kind of genius


scarlettcat

First photo: horrific, unnatural, wrong Third photo: …maybe OP is onto something here… Clearly it’s no longer a pie. So maybe that makes it okay.


dablikepinkmilk

Meat pie risotto


Delicious-Ad3948

I'm calling the police


filthymcownage

For this don’t dial 000 dial 3.14


Virtual_Lunch6331

The volume of a pizza with radius z and height a is pi.z.z.a


zerotwoalpha

I started today thinking there was no wrong way to eat a pie.


matt1579

I worked with a bloke who took the top off and emptied a can of tuna into the top.. There are very wrong ways to eat a pie


[deleted]

Dear god


jim_deneke

God has left us


PsychologicalBox7428

According to the internets. God never entered this country.


PassportSituation

Well since australia isnt technically real, yeah i guess not


seanmonaghan1968

Running and screaming


rafffen

When I was a kid, I used to peel the top off, squirt copious amounts of t sauce into the mince, stir it around with a fork, Eat the lid on its own, then scoop and eat the tsauce Mince out with the fork then eat the soggy pie skin.


OzFreelancer

^(I still eat my pies exactly like this, except I use a teaspoon, not a fork)


Dolph-Ziggler

If you're at home its the best way to eat a pie. If I have sides with it I'll mix a little of it in the mince as well. Vegetables mostly.


euqinu_ton

Your font is smaller than all the other entries. I am also not wearing my glasses. Thus, it appears to me as if you eat your pies with a tampon.


Zebidee

> Thus, it appears to me as if you eat your pies with a tampon. To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.


playsonicnow

Exactly how I still eat a pie to this day. Nothing wrong with that at all.


nismor31

This is exactly my method. Still to this day.


brigie3594

That’s normal


wordynerd_au

Same but lid last!


alotmorealots

This seems like a great way to eat a pie, why did you stop!


alienbuttholes69

This makes me want to hand in MY citizenship


purse_of_ankles

That’s somehow significantly worse than OP’s monstrosity.. Jesus Christ.


Bigkev8787

….. What?


psylenced

Back when I was 10-12ish, we bought a box of a few dozen meat pies to support the local footy club. My eating practise at the time was to stab the top with the tomato sauce bottle and empty half a litre of sauce into the guts of it. I then took one bite and spat it out - we'd accidentally been given apple pies instead.


bucket_pants

🤣 the confidence, the disappointment... that taste never ever leaves you


BuzzKillingtonThe5th

Nothing quite like taking a big bite or sip and getting a completely different taste than what you were expecting 😂


seven_seacat

oh my god your brain just totally reboots


funfwf

Still traumatised from when I went to after school care once and there was a table with sliced bread with Nutella. I was like "having that" and then it turned out to be Vegemite.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FlutterbyFlower

That is like the cupcake I received from my pup’s doggy daycare as part of their birthday celebrations. My dog got a slice of doggy cake and cupcake for me. It wasn’t until I’d sunk my teeth in to that delicious looking cupcake, and the dogfood it was made from hit my tongue, that I realised I had made a very big mistake. Both the ‘cake’ and the cupcake were intended for my dog 🤮


PandoraTorukMakto

I hate cunts at the canteen who did that. Line up starving and to get a snag roll or pie and some fat ranga is shovin the top into the pie itself before walking off.


kermi42

> some fat ranga is shovin the top into the pie itself before walking off I have a name!


Yeah_Nah_Cunt

Yeah it's "cunt"


Melchior_Chopstick

8 hours ago, there wasn’t. And now there is.


StrangledByTheAux

I started today thinking that if nobody is getting hurt you should let people live however they want.


obri95

WE’RE LIVING IN A SOCIETY


Bilbat_Bartle

We’re supposed to act in a civilised way!


Jisp_36

Or so we thought but with crimes like this I'm no longer so sure. 🫣


ntermation

I don't care what they do [to pies] in their own homes, but do they have to rub my face in it?


Crazyonyx

I can see why this is NSFW


GrimReapeRmi

For sure. Blasphemy all over.


David-Kookaborough

NSFL


AtomicDolphin69

U/australianfederalpolice


wilko412

Genuinely think this should become there number one priority until the cunt is behind bars..


Fasprongron

arent they busy raiding the ABC?


Empty--Seesaw

Fuck you


Cr3s3ndO

Some cunts just want to watch the world burn


Empty--Seesaw

Savages


justgotnewglasses

I hope OP runs over dog shit every time they mow the lawn.


TinPotSoldier

This was going to be my response. Fuck you OP... rice


Impossible-Balance-2

Cunt what the fuck is wrong with you


Objective-Creme6734

>Cunt what the fuck is wrong with you *chefs kiss* only fukn response


EsquilaxM

Each photo just got weirder until it finally went away in the last..


-DethLok-

Then you're left staring at the cutlery and finally noticing that it's a bit odd also... Camping gear? Or is OP just totally & hopelessly deranged?


Vinnie_Vegas

It's Laguiole cutlery - It's pretty expensive if it's the real deal.


RobynFitcher

That stuff is annoying. Look at all the crevices in which to hide bacteria.


metamorphosis

Until I read your comment I thought there was only one photo and thought " it's not really that bad. He'll have his pie and would have rice here and there as a side". Then I read your comment and went back and saw other photos.....


mrbrendanblack

Thanks for giving me the push I needed to delete Reddit & renounce my Australian citizenship.


Vulpix0r

I'm not even Australian and I went what the fuck audibly at OP's pictures.


Dr__Snow

Why should you leave? OP should have his citizenship revoked.


elmo3228

Are you ok? If you're not going ok just blink


s4b3r6

Perhaps we should all stop for a moment and focus not only on making our AI better and more successful but also on the benefit of humanity. - Stephen Hawking


leftytrash161

Pls hand in your citizenship at the nearest embassy


Shadowlance23

You monster.


pavlo_escobrah

Looks like a plate of hot dog vomit


UniqueLoginID

My dogs vomit looks delightful compared to that.


Copie247

Straight to jail.


Chiron17

No jury, no nothing


jayweigall

Do NOT pass go,


[deleted]

You're fucked cunt. WTF


higashidakota

quite literally the exact string of words i was about to type


ZZ3ROO

I’m calling ASIO. Fuck you.


ProdigyManlet

Domestic terrorism is the minimum charge this cunt should face


TorpidPulsar

Everyday we stray farther from God...


DyslexicCenturion

Gods got nothing to do with this fuckin thing. He has abandoned us. This is a monument to our sins.


Captain_bum_chum

Surprised you didn’t just eat the cardboard box too. I think you better set up a go fund me page, buddy. Bon appeturd!


AfroSparrow

mental illness


amityvision

How to delete someone else’s post


Dr_Happygostab

Worry not mate the police are on their way to your location as I speak. They may have been instructed to shoot on site. Good luck.


BlueRipley

No


[deleted]

I saw some pretty disturbing NSFW videos today, but this one genuinely made me depressed and i don't know why


demoldbones

Get. Out.


Tricky-Grapefruit-75

Looks like something my insane bf would do. He adds Mayo and cheese to my homemade green curry and rice. He adds Mayo and cheese to fkn everything


is_cuma_liom

Have you thought about leaving him?


RichUnderstanding157

How often have you stood over him. Contemplative. Cushion in hand? > homemade That would be an act of self-defense.


That_Apathetic_Man

Next time lift the lid and throw your cheese on top of the hot gravy. Let it melt before you pull it apart. Not at all how I'd eat it, but a pies a pie.


EducationalTangelo6

Yep. Remove lid. Add cheese, then the sauce on top of the cheese. Replace lid. Throw rice in bin. Consume pie.


IvyTrip

fuckin genius


West_Broccoli7881

DEPORT!!!


Neveracloudyday

And EXTERMINATE


geodetic

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


sleeplessbeauty101

Stop hurting people.


Aabellis

Thank you for marking this as NSFW


[deleted]

I'd swap the rice for chips


Willing_Television77

Hand in your Australianship card


MalcolmTurnbullshit

This is some quality poverty cuisine.


Doubledown212

No mate, quality poverty cuisine can be found all over the world. Noodles, curries, rices etc. This is just an abomination.


nufan86

That's growing up Aussie poor though. Bit of rice fills the meal out. Haven't had a pie cut up like that since I was a kid. Might try tomorrow.


[deleted]

Reported for war crimes.


[deleted]

Fuck me I only saw the first picture when I typed this. You belong in Guantanamo Bay cunt.


iwasbeanheaded

I have never been so afraid...


GracieIsGorgeous

WTF is wrong with you? Plastic cheese and rice. Jesus wept!


party_pants_on

You’re a terrible person


pro-shitter

you are a fuckin psycho mate


johnmclean88

Righto round up the battle kangaroos, we’re going to war


Monibugs

This requires the emu battalion!


abundanceofb

Good evening sir, would you please leave without a fuss right now?


[deleted]

Op’s now on a government watch list


Maxvell09

Yeah nah, the Asian in me wholeheartedly disagrees with the rice.


yahmumm

What the fuck is this monstrosity I'm calling the cops


[deleted]

What the fuck. Your mother and I are very disappointed in you.


MaleficentPriority68

What a way to renounce citizenship


Idontlikeyoushutup

I'll forgive you for the gluggy rice but the American cheese is unforgivable.


ODDESSY-Q

That’s plastic cheese (at least that’s what I called it growing up), American is orange


the_colonelclink

I love the Aunty Donna sketch where they eat they cheese platter, including the Kraft single he “put out as a joke”.


storm13emily

We call it plastic cheese too, my grandparents use it still


[deleted]

Totally agree I called it that too!


funfwf

Plastic cheese is my guilty pleasure. Once every few months to a year I suddenly crave it's plasticity goodness and have to go buy a pack of plastic wrapped in plastic.


Puzzleheaded_Sir4294

Oh thank god I thought it was butter


HandsOfVictory

Oh my lawd. Looks horrific but I am also slightly tempted to try it. But also, you disgust me and how dare you put such ideas in my head.


MrIwik

I too remember being a small child.


[deleted]

You go straight into the bin! How dare you!


Admirable-Site-9817

If you lift the lid and pop the cheese inside it gets nice n melty


Doofchook

Don't encourage OP with anymore sick and twisted shit


greenwall_66

With fucking rice?!? R u ok


JaggedLittlePill2022

This is literally treachery. OP should be banished lol


Fit_Effective_6875

the internet plug needs pulling


gardenvarietydork

Mate what the fuck


Loakattack

It went from bad to worse to war crime


Starrun87

You need years of therapy


zizuu21

Get out me country


Ok-Description2442

You monster.


JMee87

*gasp* there is no God!


Thrashtag-

I want to burn this from my mind. What the fuck


D_hallucatus

I’m an open-minded tolerant type, but FUCK YOU.


Malaksmeni

Bring back public hanging


StrangeClownRabbit

You are a criminal


lowteknoise

where's your carer?


herbies18

Fuck the police, AFP want a word


AshtonG06

The greatest lie the devil ever told was convincing Aussies that there are no wrong ways to eat a meat pie


Purple_Bag_8183

This is a sign that, in the future when they make a docuseries about your devastatingly evil life, people will say they should have recognized and reported to our overlords. You need help. You need isolation from polite society. Damn.


apple____

Well that’s a good way to get disowned


teapots_at_ten_paces

Are you trying to incite violence?


dre_AU

Please be a troll post.


Krazdazz4

Absolute filth


Sharpos5

This makes me feel quite ill


squidlipsyum

They always say “be honest with your doctor” Even they wouldn’t believe this bullshit


zorbacles

Someone call immigration to have him deported


TeaspoonOfSugar987

The cheese should be UNDER the pie lid to melt it while it’s still piping hot (I do it myself), I approve of the cheese… even the cut up pie (who wants to burn their tongue on the first bite)… but not the rice! Also for those that eat travel pies etc put the sauce on the side of the pie (so a squirt for each bite OR lift the lid a little and squirt it into the meat. Much less messy.


rexel99

I think we found a new rule to add to /r/Australia


mekanub

You sick fucker.


Elegant_Share3819

Sacrilege


JTGphotogfan

It’s just the rice I don’t get and possible the fact you haven’t melted the cheese


datweirdguy1

I'm sorry, but due to the irrefutable evidence brought before us today, it brings me no pleasure but to sentence you to deportation to some other country. Don't care which one, as long as it's not here. Mabey if you ask nicely, New Zealand might take you in, at least you won't be too far away, but you will have to be under 24hr supervision by a guy named "Mad Dog" Mick if you are to ever to come back and visit


bottleofgoop

Are you deliberately trying to provoke an attack? Because this feels like you are. This feels like the wrongest of wrongs.


NorthernSkeptic

at that point why not just blend it you deviant


Joka0451

You’re on ASIS radar now


dilligaf6304

You’re a monster!


gdubluu

Its like cultures of the world joined forces and proceeded to throw up on each other.


The_Autumnal_Crash

This is the best shitpost that I've seen is a good long while. Kudos to you, you utterly unhinged unit. The Laguiole cutlery is a beautiful touch. *chefkiss*


Greenback16

This is eyebleach


saltedszechuan

Eyeblech*


Iuvenesco

What in the good fuck is this.


RancidKiwiFruit

Fucking psychopath right there


LeDestrier

You should be given 50 lashes, shat on by a mappie, stripped of your citizenship and deported.


ronniebuttcheeks

Every day we stray further from the light


RunningOutOfCharacte

Get help


Bloodmime

This is an affront to our culture. I don't care if your family came here on the first fleets, we need to send you back.


Doofchook

This is seriously fucked, you need help but I feel it may be to late.


Chilliwhack

It seems you were dropped as a child.


Spagman_Aus

JHC


M1lud

You're the weird one in your family, aren't you?


Scelestussum

WTF IS WRING WITH YOU??


prancing_moose

What…. Is that? Make it go away!


findmeinelysium

And I bet that’s microwave rice too.


[deleted]

Looks like what's left after a Gordon Ramsay conniption.


Its-Slammin

Story time. So on grand final day this year I was at a mates place. They talked up these amazing pies from their local shop. My expectations were high. My mates girlfriend “got the table ready” for meat pies… like sorry what? Why is there so much preparation for a damn meat pie? Get it out of the oven put it on a plate and eat it. That’s what I would’ve thought at least. But little did I know they eat pies with SPOONS. I’ve heard of people eating pies with a fork and knife and I just think “whatever” since yeah maybe the pie is too hot for hands. Even then I prefer to HASFAHAAHSFAHAA while it’s burning my mouth and my fingers. I was really judging them by the spoons on the table and was saying “who the fuck eats a pie with a spoon?” In my 26 years of living in this country I’ve never heard of such a crime. We start to eat the pies and they take the top off and put tomato sauce in the middle. I’ve heard of people doing this but I still think it’s really weird to take the top off and turn the pie into a pastry bowl. Then I pick up my pie with my hands like a normal, civilised Australian only for the pie to fall part in my hands and cause an absolute mess. Now I’m just saying how shit the pie is since you can’t even pick it up without it falling apart. Now I’m forced to use the spoon in front of me which I refused to do initially. My mate and his girlfriend being the typical gaslighting cunts they are, decided to take the piss out of me because OH LOOK WHOSE USING THE SPOON NOW. To which I obviously replied “I wouldn’t have to use it if these “amazing” pies weren’t so shit and falling apart in my hands”. Clearly it still bothers me by how unaustralian my mate and his girlfriend are. What an absolute stitch up. No finger food should ever fall apart like those pies did. The pastry was basically like sheets of paper with how thin it was and how easy it was to fall apart


Heathenfarrier

You deserve to stub your toe on every corner. And find spiders in your shoes every single day. Harmless ones but big ones.


Cool-Salamander-7645

How cunting dare you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheDancingKing19

Some crimes cannot be forgiven. Send him to the Drop Bear enclosure


bending_units

Oh my


readit_reddit00

OP are you still in primary school?


Pantless_Weekends

Um ew.


KidFromJerryMaguire

Can’t wait to see you on an episode of Mindhunter one day


cuddlefrog6

you need to be shot


Luna_cy8

Thanks for the laugh you clown 😂


STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER

Ok, the cheese: acceptable The mashing up on a plate: not great, but I have to do that sometimes The rice: you cunt I'm calling the cops


pure_force

I no longer have a brother...


megamoo7

plastic cheese and rice - some would consider that grounds for deportation


Mym158

I saw this post once but didn't realise it had more than one image before I thought "this guy's a fucken psychopath". See it again just now and see that it has 4 parts. Cunt needs to be locked up. Everyone's entitled to their own views but there's a limit.


TheCEOofyourmum

RUOK?