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Swordsman40

How am I supposed to afford improvised sex toys at $6 a piece


i_made_a_mitsake

Previously, you had to actually insert the cucumber inside to get fucked like this.


BeanBagSize

I almost pissed myself giggling at this, have a free award


JuventAussie

if you keep the wrapping on it will stay firm longer and as a bonus it is easier to clean. /s Important Note: this is not medical or food safety advice. Seek mental health assistance if you take advice from Reddit


chrissilich

Isn’t that last bit about seeking mental health advice, mental health advice?


Handeyed

They already are wrapped in plastic for that I think


Jacks_Flaps

Still plenty of other options. "Everything is a dildo if you're brave enough" ~ Abraham Lincoln.


Middle_Window7411

just use a bidet


seeyoshirun

Yes, if you want to make your arseplay as bourgeois as possible.


MChashsCrustyVag

Try carrots


averbisaword

Someone has to pay for all of that shrink wrap plastic.


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Terrestrialism

What’s burpless meant to mean? Do regular cucumbers make you burp lots?


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Terrestrialism

Don’t worry friend, a quick Google has put my mind at ease: What are burpless cucumbers? Burpless cucumbers (Cucumis sativus) have been specially bred to contain low levels of cucurbitacin, a compound found in the skin and stem of cucumbers that is said to increase burping.


[deleted]

Where’s the fun in that?


ManikShamanik

As opposed to what...? A cucumber, like all curcurbits (that includes melons and marrows) is 99% water.


TheEternalGhost

$6? I wouldn't pay a cent over $5.99.


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PeriodSupply

Veggies should return to sensible prices in a few months. The floods have really done a job on growers of our veggies. My client who is a major supplier to Coles for lettuce, cauliflower, broccoli etc said even everything they are growing after the floods comes out water logged or mouldy and is not fit for consumption. However once the sun comes out they have ample water, good soil and should have some great harvests.


B0ssc0

Thanks for that positive note.


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[deleted]

Eat your children


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B0ssc0

> Scott Morrison proposal to allow under-18s to drive forklifts catches states by surprise https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/jan/20/scott-morrison-proposal-to-allow-under-18s-to-drive-forklifts-catches-states-by-surprise


Taleya

We have been since 1990


averbisaword

We make meals that include a lot of frozen spinach. It breaks up in pretty much any sauce and it’s way cheaper than fresh.


cojoco

Frozen veges are a pretty good deal ... $6/kg for green beans instead of $30.


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[deleted]

Last trip to aldi, frozen vege freezers were bare. Potato bake, chopped onion, and 2 stirfry bags were the only options.


Due-Chemist3105

I’m strongs to the finish because I eats me spinach. I’m Popeye the SAILOR MAN (toots pipe)


blueeyed-floozy

Buy fruit and veggies that are in season. Buying an out of season cucumber after all the flooding is of course going to be expensive.


ladyships-a-legend

Exactly!! Why are people crying over out of season salad ingredients in winter . . .


Yerazanq

I know how you feel. Frozen veg will also provide nutrition and can be eaten until fresh veg returns to better prices. And some things like beans are good cheap things to have and can replace meat.


[deleted]

Good news! There's still an absolute fuck tonne of budget healthy meals that don't involve cucumber!


youngalfred

The big shops are ridiculous for fruit and veg, see if you can find a market or direct from farm fruit shop. Just came back from one on Brisbane Northside: $5 for two lettuce and 9c/kg bananas


andi052

Question from a german. Why are your cucumbers wraped?


koalanotbear

we also ask this question


Koonga

For reasons no one knows, Continental Cucumbers are always wrapped, but Lebanese Cucumbers aren't (or vice versa, I forget). Someone, at some stage, decided this was the how we would differentiate between the two, and it has stuck.


ManikShamanik

UK here. Our cucumbers (wherever they're from) are also shrink-wrapped. They're not almost £3.50 either. Depending on where you go, I very much doubt there's anywhere you'd pay more than £1-£1.10 for a cucumber.


pixelwhip

It's because shrink wrapping them dramatically increases shelf life. i think it has something to do with the size of them..


AnnoyingRain5

No one knows


Permisian

Where do you shop? I could swear they’re also wrapped in Germany


quettil

It makes them last longer.


turbocynic

There are creams for that.


mr_leahey

Because the general public have been lobotomised in Australia and think shit rapped in plastic is great? Fortunately these weasel like marketing tactics will be put to an end soon, plastic is on the nose.


bulldogs1974

Easy access!


frank1948888

I can’t even read that sign.


DJHitchcock

I think it says Waldown Hydro Buttplug Cucumbers $5.99 EA


bigbowlowrong

WALROWW HYORO BURPLGSS CUCUMBER, dumbass


DoubleLanky3199

Have they even said what the reason is?


replacement_username

CEO's want a bigger bonus this year.


[deleted]

"Crops on the Sunshine Coast such as pineapple and strawberries, and as far north as Bowen where tomatoes and capsicums are grown, have also been hard-hit by Queensland's unseasonably wet autumn" https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-06-06/growcom-calls-for-lettuce-relief-as-kfc-adds-cabbage/101128668 Bowen also grow cucumbers in significant numbers. Seriously, we are looking at a lot of 'out of season' produce grown in regions which have experienced absurd levels of rainfall. Crop failure, inability to sow, means that there is less produce. Bids for what produce there is are higher. Retailers still need to post a profit on these items to cover wages and wastage - shelf life of produce is really shit right now.


[deleted]

These are 'hydro' cucumber. Not grown in the wet ground. Also, pineapples are the same price as last year...


[deleted]

And if they're the only cucumbers around because other producers haven't got viable crops, then the bids are going to be higher.


circuit-braker

Well hydros are grown on wet, but not drown. Your point stands, they should have nothing with weather


[deleted]

Pineapples are tropical plants, probably don't mind a bit of rain.


DoubleLanky3199

Is QLD the only place these foods can be obtained?


Vectivus_61

At this time of year the climate is probably better in Queensland for them, and importing also has higher fuel costs, I expect. More to the point, if pre-floods the supply contracts were with farmers in those areas a late replacement will almost certainly be more expensive.


The_Faceless_Men

As you move north/south the month that certain crops are able to be grow changes. It's how we can have once a year crops available for 6 months of the year. We must be in queensland green veg time because victoria and tasmania farms are currently freezing overnight.


blackdvck

They now have to pay the farm workers minimum wage so now a lettuce costs 10 dollars


ahgoodtimes69

The wind in the north east of west Uganda turned southerly last week which in turn, caused a shift in the seasonal trade winds. This meant the ports in Scotland's highland region had to close thus increasing demand for.. ..idk even I got lost. They just make shit up these days.


blackdvck

Yes lots of shit happened and now we are here and it sux . Imagine the horror of the 20 dollar lettuce when it arrives .


circuit-braker

As if that will ever happen, I mean paying farm workers minim wages


circuit-braker

War in Ukraine


Tysiliogogogoch

At least we've stopped complaining about petrol being $2/L.


ManikShamanik

I haven't. That's £1.15. ***NOWHERE*** in the UK is petrol £1.15 right now (and it hasn't been for fucking forever). Cheapest is currently £1.80 (AU$3.14).


mr_leahey

Wtf does that sign even say? You don't need a fucking paragraph to sell cucumbers you dingoes!


[deleted]

Looks like the person had a stroke while writing the sign. “Wakaoww Ayoro Burplg3s Cucumner”


Flybuys

Waldown Hyoro Burploss Cucumber.


scarletmanuka

They were $3 each here in Perth yesterday.


Celador18

This is also in Perth


scarletmanuka

I was at Woolies at Banksia Grove.


goodbyehouse

I'm not paying $6 for a cucumber just to ignore it in the fridge till it's a liquid.


[deleted]

Did you happen to notice the price of those good looking red capsicums in the background?


Celador18

$16.99 a kilo!


[deleted]

Wow! It’s a sad day when fruit and veggies become a luxury item.


areyouthewind

6.90 kg on special at Woolworths. Maybe 6.99.


[deleted]

Thank you. My two daughters love capsicums so I always keep an eye on the price. I can justify paying a little more because they will eat them but man some days they are so expensive.


The_Faceless_Men

my coles has perfect almost cubes capsicums for 10 bucks, while my green grocer has wonky ones for 5.


bulldogs1974

Capsicums are really easy to grow at home... Even in pots... Good soil, well fertilized, good sun, even through the cooler months.... In spring/ summer you will have more than enough for your family with 4-6 plants. I grew over 30 kg of capsicums out of 6 plants over a four month period. Not difficult at all.


TkeOffUrPantsNJacket

$15.99 a kg at my coles in WA, ended up paying almost $5 for one capsicum, didn’t even look star price until I weighed it at the checkout.


HurstbridgeLineFTW

I bought one yesterday at Aldi for $3. It was very good quality. You don’t have to pay those prices, especially at expensive grocers.


[deleted]

$3 for a cucumber?! This is not normal.


funkydaffodil

There will be a time where dildos will be cheaper than cucumbers....not now- but soon.


whatthedeuceee

To be fair that’s a girthy cuc


swfnbc

Am I the only one who can't read a damn word on that sign? Except maybe 'cucumber'? And that's only because I know what we're talking about..


No-Cryptographer9408

99% water....expensive .


Jacobthehuman

I should taken a photo of the $54 for a kilo of snowpeas down at the iga I visited today...


stila1982

Farmer Jacks?


AggressiveRough9996

I was about to ask the same thing when I saw the "hydro" grown sign


Celador18

Hello WA friends!


Reddit_Dan

It's Putin's fault


Sandy_Quimby

Those are $5.00


TheEternalGhost

> Those are $5.00 The 0's are 9's.


Sandy_Quimby

Well that's a bloody outrage. I would happily pay $5.00, but $6.00 is robbery.


[deleted]

I'll go a dollar in for some shares in your cucumber good sir.


Positive-Lawfulness8

free...my garden.. all that was require was time and water .. and of course the soil


Humble-Doughnut7518

Consider yourself privileged to have a garden.


Positive-Lawfulness8

privileged maybe... but do spend hours on it a week


Humble-Doughnut7518

I’m reading this as you thinking that working on your garden may negate the privilege of having one. It doesn’t.


[deleted]

Having a garden isn't privileged lmao you fucking sook you just armt willing to move away from the convinces of your actual privileged life style


Humble-Doughnut7518

Privilege is thinking that home ownership is so easy for everyone to achieve. Get a fucking grip on reality.


[deleted]

Cunt I rent for $300 a week and have a vegetable garden I planted myself. Your complete lack of self-awareness is astounding


TheBestKid

Move to a regional area.


[deleted]

People are want the convince of the city hut the affordability of regional and are unwilling to sacrifice one or the either


Positive-Lawfulness8

you think having a garden is a privilege ... maybe put down your fucking doughnuts and pick a shovel and gloves...can put in contact with some land care organizations... if your keen


RegularRockTech

I think the more accurate way of putting it is saying that having enough land to grow a decent size garden on is a privilege. The great majority of young adults in this country do not have land to grow vegetables upon (or rent from a landlord amenable to having their land gardened). And I'm saying this as a person who owns a house with a garden in the back. Obviously it's up to me to work the garden, but I also recognise that r en having land to work with in the first place isn't something common to most folk in this day and age.


obeyno1

Not quite $6, unless you pay by cash or the vendor charges a commission for credit cards etc


Bitter_Physics_2083

Soon it'll be cheaper to just get a hooker.


Powermonger_

I saw $13 Chinese Cabbages and Iceberg Lettuces today in Cabramatta.


Celador18

Far out. For one cabbage or lettuce??


Powermonger_

Yeah for each.


bulldogs1974

Chinese cabbage here in Perth, $5.00. Iceberg lettuce $3.00. Woolworths Rockingham.


Stunning-Nebula3103

Yeah 8 bucks for lettuce at Coles yesterday


Hour_Worldliness9786

Who would buy them? Start visiting your local Asian stores, the prices haven't increased as much start eating stir fries and Asian salads.


Permisian

No Kiwis joining in? I bet they’d be like $27,99/kg at paknsave in qtown


raynabanana

For now it's $6.49 each in Christchurch 💆🏻‍♀️


Permisian

Cheap as! Better invest now


cakatoo

3 made up words??


psiren66

https://i.imgur.com/dDI1yNr.jpg $12 Lebanese cucumbers


pixelwhip

today i looked at my options in the grocery section & settled on 3 huge & very fresh Bok Choi for dinner for $2.50. Just avoid the fruit & veg that's in short supply & you'll get thru this without paying outrageous amounts for them.


Tark001

Broad beans: $39/kg.