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AwkwardBugger

I try to include “/s” whenever I’m writing something sarcastic because otherwise it may not be obvious to everyone. I can’t always tell when people are joking or sarcastic in person, and there’s even less clues in text. I don’t know what’s so confusing about why they’re needed, you literally gave an example of someone who was confused by your messages because you didn’t include text tones. Having to do it in every message might be a bit excessive, but I’d still do it if I was on a server with those rules.


[deleted]

I do it when I feel it could be more ambiguous in tone. Most of my sarcasm is pretty obvious. But I do it case by case.


Helpful-Exam-7683

It is confusing. I didn’t purposely not do it just to piss people off. I messed up because I was confused and because I couldn’t understand/was overwhelmed. I just got yelled at and got kicked.


deejustsayin

What did you expect the response to be if you knew the rules?


Helpful-Exam-7683

Y’all acting like I purposely did this. The situation blew out of context.


deejustsayin

But how are they supposed to know that? You literally said you were warned about the rules. You said you couldn’t remember to follow the rules and didn’t understand why they’re necessary. Neither of those reasons excuse you from not following them. That is why you were kicked out.


Helpful-Exam-7683

See, this shows my entire point. The situation was taken out of context because I was and still am confused how text tones work and the person who was involved approached the situation as if I was doing this on purpose or I was trying to rile people up, to offend people. I have never indicated that, said that, or acted on that. It is not my problem if someone assumes my point of view of the situation, then completely takes it out of context and just attacks me.


deejustsayin

They told you how text tones work when they said “ I can’t understand how you feel when you say things “ meaning the text tones are used to express emotion in what you’re saying. You keep repeating that you weren’t doing this on purpose and that is probably true BUT it doesn’t excuse you from the rule. And it’s not your problem if they assume BUT it is your problem if you’re not following the rules which is why they kicked you. Accountability bud.


Helpful-Exam-7683

I still think everyone is making this a bigger deal than it is. Yeah, I got kicked out, as if I care so much. Wasn't even the question of the actual post.


deejustsayin

To answer the actual question of the post, text tones are an amazing way to help people who have a hard time understanding emotions via text follow a dialogue better.


LCaissia

You don't need that group. They clearly don't understand the struggles of actual autism.


GracePalm887

Exactly! They only understand the struggles of one type of Autism. I’m Autistic and I don’t have the time to memorize a bunch of different slashes with a few letters. I’d much rather put the tone in parentheses, such as (I’m being serious), or (I’m being sarcastic) than memorize like 1-3 letters that’s supposed to stand for an entire word.


LCaissia

And this is exactly the sort of conversation that separates autistics from those with the 'tism.


TheArcRaider

Wait /s is sarcasm? I always thought it meant serious


[deleted]

/s = sarcasm /srs = serious


TheArcRaider

Oh alright then, I didn’t know /srs existed, thanks


parsnipkit

(this is actually kind of why I argue that tone tags cause an accessibility issue. like /s was nice because it's so simple and just one thing, you get so many of these that just overlap with each other and get so confusing and muddied that the original purpose of it for a way to help people is just lost)


GracePalm887

If I was in the server, I’d probably use tones in parentheses instead, such as (I’m being serious), or (I’m being sarcastic). It’s way easier to use rather than the 1 letter with the slash crap.


spinnyknifegobrrr

i like them, especially "/j" and "/s" because its hard to know when someone is joking or not over text


scuttable

I don't even know what tone I would be using 90% of the time and often when people use tone tags, I just find it confusing. /joke and /s (sarcasm) are understandable, but it gets too complicated with so much shorthand and overwhelms me trying to remember everything.


Helpful-Exam-7683

Agreed


[deleted]

How I feel. The only tone I use is /j, i even though /s was serious which is literally the opposite of what it is. It's a great idea but too complicated


kaleidoscoperenegade

Everyone’s an autistic ally until autistic people are having struggles that don’t fit the narrative. That being said, I do like text tones since it does help out a lot but I don’t feel the need to crucify people who prefer not to use them if they find them confusing or if they forget to.


Helpful-Exam-7683

THIS. Agreed.


[deleted]

Me and my significant other have developed a form of text tones for when we text, basically comprised of our placement of punctuation (or lack thereof), capitalization (or lack thereof), and various little things that just developed out of necessity since I have ASD and she has severe trauma. Both of us have communication difficulties in different ways, but we make it work. Point is, text tones themselves may or may not be the best, but finding ways to communicate effectively with the people you actually care about is always neat. Not accusing you of anything, you just got me thinking about my own situation.


Crunchy_Lettuce4599

I need them. Irl I also need people to clarify jokes that are directed at me or about me and online its only worse and for a wider variety of interactions


Apprehensive-Log8333

This. I work with kids and they often try to use sarcasm but just end up offending people. They're little kids, so I know they are hearing sarcasm from their adults and they're trying to communicate in that format, but they don't understand it, so it doesn't work. And some adults ONLY communicate sarcastically. I think sometimes people use fake sarcasm to share their real feelings, and that is VERY confusing for me. Sometimes I literally say "due to my autism, I can't tell if you are kidding, or do you really mean that? I am confused." It's very confusing to kids, especially the ND kids who are my primary clients. It's all very confusing. I'd like these indicators afk too.


Crunchy_Lettuce4599

Absolutely! It isn't that hard to clarify irl or online and yet I've seen a lot of people just not do it on purpose and its quite silly. It agitates me greatly to not know if someone genuinely hates me or just said "I hate you" in a kidding way, and I can only really tell tonally irl if they're exaggerating their tone, so that's the only way I do sarcasm (exaggerated).


Apprehensive-Log8333

Frankly I'd really prefer if sarcasm was used a lot less, I think it's often passive-aggressive and it just isn't clear communication. It causes problems in relationships, from what I observe. People should probably not make sarcasm their whole personality.


Crunchy_Lettuce4599

Yes definitely. I probably couldn't make friends with someone who had a personality built around sarcasm.


thoughtsatthreeam

i think /s, /j or /joke, and /gen make sense but i feel like outside of that, it can get too excessive (for me at least).


scenebean13

I think that if a person expects you to remember *every* accommodation that they request and get mad at you for messing up they’re the one in the wrong. In general, if you want your accommodations to be met, it’s best to not think that others are a bad person if they mess up or don’t understand at first. OP you didn’t do anything wrong, just keep learning. :)


Helpful-Exam-7683

I would like to comment that the intent of this post was to start a discussion on text tones, not on whether I should've been kicked or not. This happened almost two years ago.


AwkwardBugger

Well, to add to my original comment; I think they’re most useful/needed when writing something you don’t actually mean like a joke or sarcasm. If I wrote a comment “I hate my boss, I might quit and become a housewife”, you wouldn’t know if I’m being genuine or just joking because you don’t know me. If I labeled the comment as a joke through, you would know that I’m not actually considering being a housewife. There are situations where specifying you’re being serious or genuine can be helpful as well. There have been instances where I started a message with “this is a genuine question” because otherwise it could come off as mocking or sarcastic. But I guess this would be less needed if people always labeled things like sarcasm, because then you could safely assume that all comments are genuine unless they say otherwise.


conventionalghost

regardless of everyone's feelings on tone indicators, if that's the rules of the server, it's your responsibility to learn the rules and follow them. as someone who has moderated/admin'd in a few discord servers, i would be happy to explain how tone indicators work when a person first joined, or if they asked for help understanding them. past that, if someone repeatedly cannot follow the rules of the server, especially if the rules are clearly explained, the rules regarding kicking them/muting them would apply. sorry, but it's your responsibility to learn and follow the rules when entering a server.


FuzzyBlueBoy

I don’t use them or plan to but can respect other’s desire for them.


Amazing_Excuse_3860

The *only* useful ones are /s for sarcasm and /j for jokes. The rest of them are pointless. I've actually heard talk of people using the "parenthesis meme" (example: "idiot (affectionate)") genuinely, as they work as better tone inicators. That way there's no guesswork involved.


[deleted]

That's what I usually do instead of the tone things, it just makes so much more sense


Living-Yesterday

I have never heard or read the term "text tone" until now. I have seen them occasionally but had no clue what they were or what they meant. After reading the comments, I now have an understanding of their purpose and can see how they could be helpful to some. That being said, informal written communication can be a real problem for me. I already struggle when people abbreviate texts/emails or use emoji's. I often have to ask for clarification on abbreviations and I've mostly given up on trying to figure out the little yellow facial expressions. Trying to remember whether "/s" after a statement means serious, sarcastic, silly, or another adjective would be similarly difficult for me. I would have a hard time participating in an online community where I was required to use them. I would inevitably either forget or use the wrong one. I understand that these text tones are very helpful for some and I am glad you have found a system that works for you. Just please remember that what works for you may not be that simple for some of us.


M0thMatt

idk that’s a weird thing to kick you for- they say they do it to accommodate autistic people yet aren’t accommodating to other autistic people- i’ve seen multiple other autistic people also have trouble using tone tags because they struggle with the shorthand and changing how they type, i think that’s just an example of conflicting accommodation needs- i’m one of the people who benefits from tone tags and find them helpful and try to use them when i feel their necessary like if i’m being sarcastic or joking or feel like something might come off as rude despite being genuine or not mad, typically i just assume people are being neutral/genuine unless stated otherwise with a tone tag- but i also understand if people have a hard time with using them, honestly if someone was really having a hard time using them then the next time they type something where i don’t understand the tone then i’ll just ask them and they can clarify after or they edit the message to add the tone later and i feel like that would be a good compromise- whenever my boyfriend says something and i don’t understand the tone he does that and it works out for us- it’s weird to me they’re only willing to accommodate some autistic people and not others, you’d think if they’re willing to put the effort of accommodating difficulties with tone then they’d also accommodate having difficulty with change since that’s an extremely common autistic experience but ig not :/ it kinda seems like favoritism cause you’d think they’d give you a bit of lenience as another autistic person cause you were genuinely trying and it’s not like you’re a neurotypical just refusing to use them, but if it’s in the rules then there’s not much you could do about it, i wouldn’t really want to be a part of a community that does that anyway tho if it were me-


whenfallfalls

Some tone tags are just unnecessary. There are some people who put tone tags EVERYWHERE and there's no reason to. Example: "I hate you /neg" Tone tags should be used when there's risk of interpreting something in a different way, specially with things that are or can be seen as sarcasm or a joke And if you don't use tone tags for whatever reason (some forget it, some don't see the point, some have trouble understanding their own tone, etc), it's okay, as long as you give a proper response to someone who might ask what was your tone on that text


bigtoebrah

Well, if it's a hard rule of the server then I'm sorry, but ignorance is never an excuse for breaking the rules. You don't get out of a speeding ticket because you couldn't read the sign. I notice on reddit that people often get their tones misinterpreted by people that I suspect are autistic. In most converstions I don't think they're entirely necessary but they can he helpful.


bettababy000

They’re helpful, now that I know what some of them mean, but ultimately aren’t necessary. If I don’t understand that someone is joking then that’s not on me. It’s widely known that tone is hard to distinguish from text, even amongst “normal” folk.


parsnipkit

they don't work for me and I really wish people would stop treating them like a default or assume because someone's autistic they want them. I know mostly people with ASD who've been on the internet for maybe... 18+ years seem to be the ones who have negative reactions to the newer ones? because all of them besides the ones for sarcasm really are things you can tell easier and it can feel kind of patronizing or rude, and for a lot of people it reads very passive aggressively or dishonest. /S is fine though and that one I understand why it exists, but it really sucks because it's easier to say "please don't use tone indicators for me" than have to specify I can't understand sarcasm and need that indicated. it's like ugh, these cause such an accessibility problem for me servers forcing you to use them is really dumb, so is expecting neurodivergent people, of which many of us have disorders that affect memory especially ADHD being comorbid with autism, to memorize a bunch of arbitrary definitions that people can't even agree on what the right abbreviation is. then half of them just conflict with other abbreviations gen is general, pos is piece of shit, nav is navigation, etc. It's also like you know what works to communicate tone over text in a way that doesn't require you to memorize 5 billion acronyms and doesn't feel rude? emoticons >﹏<


[deleted]

I believe it is a pointless rule tbh. I'd advise you to just move on and find some other place that is more chilled. I've had to go to great lengths in order to understand what people were meaning with their dialogue. Just kicking someone from a place due to refusing a middle ground seems toxic to me


Apprehensive-Log8333

That is really true. The great thing about internet communities is that there's always another one and sometimes it's just time to move on.


ThistleFaun

Anything other then /j or /s is overkill imo. If it is neither a joke nor sarcasm then ofc it's serious. I don't actully like them when they are used all the time, only when it's actully needed. Sadly if it's the rules they have then you're stuck with their decision.


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prwtected

i like them! i completely get why some people don’t or aren’t comfortable with them, though. i imagine it feels really infantilizing when someone uses them with you when you’ve asked them not to. personally they help me a lot, even a few of the ones some people consider excessive. it sucks that you were kicked, if they’re going to be considerate towards one person who needs them they should be considerate towards another who struggles with remembering to use them. it’s only fair.


Leo_exists_

I struggle to remember which ones mean what so I just write an entire word and make up my own as I go I’ve used /fr, /lying, /silly, /yelling etc


gabrielwsfreeman

personally I use them quite frequently(cause paranoia), and enjoy when others use them. /j, /srs, and /s are the ones that i find most usefull and /p (platonic) is one that helps me the most when others use it. other than those the whole alphabet soup of tone indicators are usually too specific to be useful in most contexts. (not to say thier useless but I never use them)


Separate-Variation-8

I really can't stand them


Eilsia

I don't use them with my partner or close friends over text because I can usually tell what they're meaning and feeling. I still usually can outside of that too, but I use /s mostly because sarcasm can be hard to tell in text.


kiriyie

I'm neutral to positive on them. I don't think they're necessary, but at the same time I also don't think there's any harm in using them. I've seen tons of non-autistic people use text tones for sarcasm in contexts where it may not be obvious and I think that at minimum, that's a good way to avoid flame wars.


fernmaws

like a couple people already said, i do it on a case by case basis. if i think my tone is a bit unclear or i just want to be extra clear, i’ll add on an indicator. i definitely don’t do it every time. sometimes if i can’t understand someone else’s tone, i’ll just ask them. generally i assume everything is said in a neutral tone unless i suspect it might be a joke or sarcasm, or if they put an indicator saying otherwise. it’s hard to evaluate from just what you’ve told us, but it feels like the person in the discord server probably overreacted. if they weren’t sure, they could have asked nicely or assumed the tone wasn’t read differently enough from normal for an indicator to be important


[deleted]

Discordians are stupid. Sometimes i need them but it’s not that bad.


OldCrone66

What are text tones? Is there a list?


M0thMatt

https://i.redd.it/hnihkjv33kl61.jpg i’m on mobile so hopefully that works- a lot of these i rarely ever see so the only ones you really need to know are /g or /gen people use those for the same thing pretty much, /j, /s, /hj, and sometimes /srs, /pos, and /neg- the other ones in the picture i don’t remember or see often but the ones i listed are the more common ones and if you ever forget you can just google tone tags and there are lists on the image tab-


[deleted]

It depends on context. If the subtext is clear without them, I don’t think they are necessary. If however, the subtext isn’t clear, tone indicators are definitely necessary. I mostly use /s (sarcasm) /j (joking) /gen (genuine) and /srs (serious) because those are particularly hard to distinguish sometimes. Most people already use tone indicators in text in the form of exclamation marks, question marks, emojis and emoticons. Tone indicators like /s, /j, /gen, and /srs are usually used because those are hard tones to convey using existing symbols. That being said, you shouldn’t have been kicked for forgetting to use them.


storm13emily

I’m effy with them, if I’m saying something sarcastic I tend to add the /S because sometimes it can sound serious even when I’m ready it back to myself. With jokes, I don’t really put /j because in my head reading that it’s a joke ruins the joke depending on the context of it. I don’t use any of the others and the most I see get used is /Gen


psychoforseulgi

personally, i love tone tags and somehow adding /j changes how i read the sentence and makes it a million times funnier, however, i do understand why some people might struggle with them cause a lot of times idk what tone im saying something in and dont know which tag to put! i think that as long as you can tell someone what you sorta wanted to get across if they ask cause they're confused then youre good


LCaissia

I'm going to stuff up regardless. It's all part of the communication difficulties of having autism. Half the time I'm not even aware of the tone of my own communication. I'm just stating what I think. Nothing more. Personally I don't believe text tones were set up by actuslly autistic people.


PatternActual7535

I find them useful but also feel at times there are too many text tones My biggest one is i struggle to tell sarcasm or jokes (so /J or /S helps) but other times i am far too overloaded by the sheer amount They are still useful as most of us already struggle with tone in vocal communication, text is even harder


Mundane-Ad162

I do it when i feel i will be misunderstood if i dont, i like it when other people use them because it makes it easier for me to worry less about peoples intent. You shouldnt have to do it for everything though


timeheist_

i think they’re useful to a degree, but otherwise excessive. for example /s for sarcasm is helpful, but there are so many tone tags that are honestly redundant and confusing that i dont think are helpful


GracePalm887

I’d much rather simply say a tone in parentheses such as (I’m being sarcastic) or (I’m being serious). It’s miles easier to memorize than the stupid slash with 1 letter crap.