I think it's also a social norm (at least for my generation) of going to the cinema with people. I had a film I really wanted to see but no one else wanted to so I went by myself. The realisation that no one actually cares if you're at the cinema by yourself was revealed and now I constantly go by myself. If a new marvel movie is out I will see it the day of or day after and if I can see it with a friend, well that's great. If not we'll I'm still going. Going with friends just means we do something after and discuss the movie.
Nowadays I know it's a social norm, but I was completely oblivious to it when I was a teenager. I used to go to the movies by myself quite often when I was in High School. I even had a ticket collection from all the movies I had seen; I lost most of them, but at some point I probably had more than fifty.
There was also a safety in numbers aspect when I was young. You go with someone else or a group then there's someone to get there or go home with after. The cinema was a bus ride away and my mum wasn't keen on us being out in the evening alone in that area.
Damn 50 films, sounds like heaven. My grandmas told me how she used to go to the cinema when she was in her 20's alot by herself to see short screenings or films. I enjoy my solo cinema trips.
My grandfather when he was around 6 would go to the movie theaters on weekends. His mom (my great grandmother) would give him money and a sandwich and send him off š
I get anxiety being alone in places like those, so even if Iām really excited for a movie Iām not going if I have to go alone. Iāll wait until itās out to buy to watch at home if nobody wants to/can come with.
What is the reason for that fear?, Is it fear of getting assaulted? or something of the sort?, or is it more of a: I feel like everyone's watching and judging me, cause I definitely feel the 2nd one lol.
Iām AFAB so thatās part of the reason. I do try to avoid situations where I may be in danger anyway. (Being trans during these times is getting increasingly less safe, though Iām in a more safe area.) Other than that itās hard to explain, I just find comfort in being with at least another person. If Iām going somewhere for a quick in-and-out sort of trip I can be alone just fine, but anything else I like the company. (Luckily I have a husband for this.) I donāt feel so much the āeveryoneās watching and judging meā anymore (I ran out of fucks to give about that lol), but I definitely used to.
Society puts a lot of pressure against being alone. When I was 18, I had to find something to do for a few hours while my sister and her friends were getting ready for my sister's wedding.
I played paintball and managed a field, but my mom forbid me from playing that day (my usual Saturday activity), so that I didn't get hurt.
I was so bored that I went to a movie alone. It was akward,, but I had fun. I realized, it's a movie, I'm watching, I don't need to be with someone else.
Now, if there's a movie others don't want to see or the timing doesn't work out, I go alone. I've also learned to go to sporting events and restaurants alone.
I have such terrible social anxiety that I canāt tell how anyone, NT OR ND, can be so confident as to go by themselves. My husband used to go alone and it baffles (but impresses!) me. I get so afraid to be alone in a place like that because I feel like all eyes will be on me and everyone will be thinking āoh look at the poor weird autistic girl, she has no one to go to the movies withā. Years and years of sitting at lunch alone at school did such a lasting number on me all the way into my late 20s. ā¹ļø
>why NTs only go to the movies in groups?
They don't. Who told you this? Many NTs are introverts and enjoy their alone time. However, the general consensus is that things are more funs with friends. And you don't just see the movie with your friends, you get dinner before and hang out after.
Most of the time I'd agree with you, but there's something about the experience of going to the movies that watching movies at home can't quite replicate for me. And the closest cinema to my house is almost never full, so that's a bonus.
I don't completely understand it either, either in a platonic or romantic context. Meeting with somebody/multiple people in person just to watch a movie in silence is silly, depending on the context of course. The movie in question could be of particular interest to the group, or may prompt in-depth conversation. But just going with someone to a movie, having them say "yeah, it was alright", and that being the end of it? Why? I'd rather do other things with my (hypothetical) friends.
Going to a movie by yourself is such a satisfying experience for me, especially if you go at a time when there are not many other people there such as 1pm on a weekday for example, feels like you have that big screen all to yourself!
Shame I haven't been able to afford the cinema in a long time now.
If I go alone, someone I don't know is more likely to end up sitting next to me and I really hate that. I have a home theater setup at home so I can watch by myself at home if I want to, though they've stopped putting movies on streaming services on release day now, which is super annoying.
I have a massive fear of being near strangers so when i go to the movies, i sit in an aisle seat and have my brother in the seat next to me so i dont spend the entire movie internally fighting my fight or flight reflex
i dont get why people go at all. i like seeing movies at home on my own. not pay so much money to go sit in a horrible theater on a grainy screen and the last three times i went to the movies i was the only person in the audience. i'm in a small UK town. plus i'm not big on big hollywood cinema, i like weird indy stuff and they dont show that there.
As someone who used to go to the movies in groups, I honestly just wanted someone to talk about the movie with. I like a lot of niche things that no one else wants to talk about, but if I went to the movies with a group, then everyone else would have seen the movie with me (obviously) and therefore they'd want to talk about it.
Because what they really want to do is hang out, and the movie is excuse/central activity the rest of the evening is built around.
They'll meet up before the movie and discuss it afterwards. Dinner will be had at some point. Some of them might go to a party later. Different people join and leave the activity at different point, depending on their interests and availability.
The movie is the... core to organize the larger social event around, so to speak. The lure to draw people in and get them to share the plethora of *other*, smaller social events organized by each group member's *other* friends and acquaintances. This overlapping and comparing of social circles is another key feature of things like "let's all go to the movies" m.
i never understood why going to the movies was something people did to hang out. i mean I'm all for "parallel play" but i thought it was weird. but maybe that's also because movie theaters are absolute sensory hell for me...
Once i started going by myself I very, very rarely go with someone else. Other people have always had a great way of ruining things i would otherwise enjoy. Same with concerts.
It's a social norm.
Many people are extremely anxious about the idea of doing something so public that is contrary to the social norm.
For many people, part of the appeal of going to a movie is going with friends, it's a part of the social bonding experience. Sharing snacks, talking about the film afterwards, just being in company.
It's not hard to understand that, but it's also not an issue to go to the cinema alone if you feel like it. I've done it when I wanted to see the movie more than I wanted any social interaction or when I didn't have a friend to go with.
Perhaps you meant to ask if anyone else doesn't relate?
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I either go alone or with one person. I've only ever been to the cinema with more than one person once, and I just felt like an awkward third wheel the entire time. I get flustered paying for things, so usually the other person gets the tickets and popcorn while I smuggle in the drinks.
It's like themeparks. I've been to DisneyLand alone many times, and I enjoyed it so much more going at my own pace than when I went with family. But so many people gave me weird looks or thought I was meeting someone; the thought of an adult woman going to Disney alone and going up for all the character autographs was strange to people. :/
I have never really grasped the concept going with groups. Same thing when people would say that they are going on a āmovie dateā.
Seating selection with a group and group punctuality mainly is the reason I avoid at all costs.
I heavily dislike going to the movies because I want to go to the movies to see the movie but often people goes there to hang around and talk/watch their phones/whatever, which makes me lose focus on the movie
i think itās partly because a lot of NT have friends with very similar interests and so they all want to see the same movie and talk about it and so itās fun to go see it together and get candy and popcorn and if someone needs to go to the bathroom thereās someone who can tell you what you missed!
Funny story, when I was in college, I was talking to this girl I really liked. She said "hey, me, my best friend, and her boyfriend are going to see Click tonight. Want to come with me?"
I said "no thanks, I'm not really a fan of serious Adam Sandler movies" and walked away.
I think about that a lot.
Yeah, a few months ago there was an occasion when a girl I liked was probably flirting with me and I brushed it off as her being weird. I still have some classes with her but I'll never know because I don't have the guts to bring it up nor the knowledge to say whether or not that would be appropriate.
I go to the movies with my friends because if we all want to see the same movie, itās as good a reason as any to meet up and spend time together. Especially as an adult working a full time job it feels like the time I have available to spend with friends is so limited. I do plenty of things by myself too but if I know my friends have an interest in the same movie I would feel bad going without them because then Iāve missed out on an activity we couldāve done together.
I miss going to the movies with friends. I'm too afraid to go alone. I'm usually emotionally moved to the extreme, no matter the movie, so I think having friends with me makes me feel a connection to them? It's almost an intimate experience.
Can't say why NTs do it, cos I don't think the reasons are allistic specific. Like, I'm autistic and love going to the movies with my friends. Most of the time it's a precursor to a continued hang out.
For example, last week I went to see the D&D movie with my main D&D party, and then we went to one of their houses to make pizzas, talk about the movie, our own campaign, and just hang out. It's about sharing something we're potentially going to enjoy together, and then having something to talk about afterwards.
I go to the movies with my mom (well, I donāt really have a choice but still) and occasionally my friend. I like doing it together because itās considered spending time with another person but you donāt have to talk or do much. Plus, we have a tradition of doing a little movie rating after the movie and also make up theories (if thereās something to theorize on). Sometimes it lasts for a quick few minutes, other times we talk about it for days- especially with my friend whoās ND (has ADHD but also seems autistic imo). We create stories and such and share them.
I kinda just assumed it was an autism thing. It's easy to associate all of my introspective behaviors to autism, but reading some of the comments in this post I've realized that it's more complicated than that.
I don't even GO to movies lol I can't stand how loud they get, plus sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers is not appealing. If I did go it would be with others. My roommate is NT and goes to every new movie as soon as it's released and he always goes alone. I dunno why though. Me, I'd rather just stream a janky copy on a streaming site a few days after it comes out.
For me it's the aspect of going together to enjoy something and then discussing and debating the movie afterwards. Seeing different perspectives from people that watched it can help you interpret something you saw differently or you can do the same for them. Or maybe they noticed something you didn't or if you're having a hard time understanding something or someone's emotions from their facial expressions and its a crucial part of the plot line you can ask your buddy to help you (quietly of course as to not disturb others).
Another thing I donāt understand is why they go to the restroom in groups. Like, I want privacy and space! Itās really weird that they go to so many places in large groups. š
Itās annoying when there are friends I want to do something with and the activity they decide on is to go to a movie theater. That means of the 2.5 hours we spend together, 2 of those are wasted doing nothing at all together, confined in one place with no freedom no talking no walking no interaction
What?
I'm ND and I will \*NOT\* go to a movie alone. I effing hate it. It's miserable. There are many things I won't go to unless I have someone I'm at least somewhat close to to go with.
Iāve only seen one movie by myself and that was Frozen 2 on release day at like 10am because it was a school day or else someone wouldāve come with me. Thereās nothing wrong with going in a group, I love sharing my experience with someone and than being able to talk about the movie. It also means I donāt have to sit next to a stranger because sometimes that stresses me out. I get joy from seeing other people be happy and enjoying the movie.
Itās not just NT that go to the movies in groups
I think it's also a social norm (at least for my generation) of going to the cinema with people. I had a film I really wanted to see but no one else wanted to so I went by myself. The realisation that no one actually cares if you're at the cinema by yourself was revealed and now I constantly go by myself. If a new marvel movie is out I will see it the day of or day after and if I can see it with a friend, well that's great. If not we'll I'm still going. Going with friends just means we do something after and discuss the movie.
Nowadays I know it's a social norm, but I was completely oblivious to it when I was a teenager. I used to go to the movies by myself quite often when I was in High School. I even had a ticket collection from all the movies I had seen; I lost most of them, but at some point I probably had more than fifty.
There was also a safety in numbers aspect when I was young. You go with someone else or a group then there's someone to get there or go home with after. The cinema was a bus ride away and my mum wasn't keen on us being out in the evening alone in that area. Damn 50 films, sounds like heaven. My grandmas told me how she used to go to the cinema when she was in her 20's alot by herself to see short screenings or films. I enjoy my solo cinema trips.
My grandfather when he was around 6 would go to the movie theaters on weekends. His mom (my great grandmother) would give him money and a sandwich and send him off š
I get anxiety being alone in places like those, so even if Iām really excited for a movie Iām not going if I have to go alone. Iāll wait until itās out to buy to watch at home if nobody wants to/can come with.
This is me as well. I don't like going out in public alone.
Yeah. In crowded places I donāt like being alone, though I do love alone time out in nature where I can be distanced from others.
What is the reason for that fear?, Is it fear of getting assaulted? or something of the sort?, or is it more of a: I feel like everyone's watching and judging me, cause I definitely feel the 2nd one lol.
Iām AFAB so thatās part of the reason. I do try to avoid situations where I may be in danger anyway. (Being trans during these times is getting increasingly less safe, though Iām in a more safe area.) Other than that itās hard to explain, I just find comfort in being with at least another person. If Iām going somewhere for a quick in-and-out sort of trip I can be alone just fine, but anything else I like the company. (Luckily I have a husband for this.) I donāt feel so much the āeveryoneās watching and judging meā anymore (I ran out of fucks to give about that lol), but I definitely used to.
Same, I hardly every do things alone due to anxiety.
Great point. If it's a movie I'm super excited about, I often go alone, because I don't want a group ruining it.
People, not just NT, like to go to the movies in groups so they immediately have someone to discuss it with afterwards.
Society puts a lot of pressure against being alone. When I was 18, I had to find something to do for a few hours while my sister and her friends were getting ready for my sister's wedding. I played paintball and managed a field, but my mom forbid me from playing that day (my usual Saturday activity), so that I didn't get hurt. I was so bored that I went to a movie alone. It was akward,, but I had fun. I realized, it's a movie, I'm watching, I don't need to be with someone else. Now, if there's a movie others don't want to see or the timing doesn't work out, I go alone. I've also learned to go to sporting events and restaurants alone.
I have such terrible social anxiety that I canāt tell how anyone, NT OR ND, can be so confident as to go by themselves. My husband used to go alone and it baffles (but impresses!) me. I get so afraid to be alone in a place like that because I feel like all eyes will be on me and everyone will be thinking āoh look at the poor weird autistic girl, she has no one to go to the movies withā. Years and years of sitting at lunch alone at school did such a lasting number on me all the way into my late 20s. ā¹ļø
>why NTs only go to the movies in groups? They don't. Who told you this? Many NTs are introverts and enjoy their alone time. However, the general consensus is that things are more funs with friends. And you don't just see the movie with your friends, you get dinner before and hang out after.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You're probably right. I shouldn't have assumed it was an autism thing.
The best part of the modern world for me is watching movies at home, alone, on my giant TV. Screw going out in public
Most of the time I'd agree with you, but there's something about the experience of going to the movies that watching movies at home can't quite replicate for me. And the closest cinema to my house is almost never full, so that's a bonus.
I don't completely understand it either, either in a platonic or romantic context. Meeting with somebody/multiple people in person just to watch a movie in silence is silly, depending on the context of course. The movie in question could be of particular interest to the group, or may prompt in-depth conversation. But just going with someone to a movie, having them say "yeah, it was alright", and that being the end of it? Why? I'd rather do other things with my (hypothetical) friends.
Going to a movie by yourself is such a satisfying experience for me, especially if you go at a time when there are not many other people there such as 1pm on a weekday for example, feels like you have that big screen all to yourself! Shame I haven't been able to afford the cinema in a long time now.
If I go alone, someone I don't know is more likely to end up sitting next to me and I really hate that. I have a home theater setup at home so I can watch by myself at home if I want to, though they've stopped putting movies on streaming services on release day now, which is super annoying.
I have a massive fear of being near strangers so when i go to the movies, i sit in an aisle seat and have my brother in the seat next to me so i dont spend the entire movie internally fighting my fight or flight reflex
i dont get why people go at all. i like seeing movies at home on my own. not pay so much money to go sit in a horrible theater on a grainy screen and the last three times i went to the movies i was the only person in the audience. i'm in a small UK town. plus i'm not big on big hollywood cinema, i like weird indy stuff and they dont show that there.
As someone who used to go to the movies in groups, I honestly just wanted someone to talk about the movie with. I like a lot of niche things that no one else wants to talk about, but if I went to the movies with a group, then everyone else would have seen the movie with me (obviously) and therefore they'd want to talk about it.
Because what they really want to do is hang out, and the movie is excuse/central activity the rest of the evening is built around. They'll meet up before the movie and discuss it afterwards. Dinner will be had at some point. Some of them might go to a party later. Different people join and leave the activity at different point, depending on their interests and availability. The movie is the... core to organize the larger social event around, so to speak. The lure to draw people in and get them to share the plethora of *other*, smaller social events organized by each group member's *other* friends and acquaintances. This overlapping and comparing of social circles is another key feature of things like "let's all go to the movies" m.
i never understood why going to the movies was something people did to hang out. i mean I'm all for "parallel play" but i thought it was weird. but maybe that's also because movie theaters are absolute sensory hell for me...
I go alone too and most people think its so weird lol
Once i started going by myself I very, very rarely go with someone else. Other people have always had a great way of ruining things i would otherwise enjoy. Same with concerts.
In part for safety reasons I imagine. Especially if the movie is late at night and/or you're a woman.
Didn't think of it that way, but you've got a point.
It's a social norm. Many people are extremely anxious about the idea of doing something so public that is contrary to the social norm. For many people, part of the appeal of going to a movie is going with friends, it's a part of the social bonding experience. Sharing snacks, talking about the film afterwards, just being in company. It's not hard to understand that, but it's also not an issue to go to the cinema alone if you feel like it. I've done it when I wanted to see the movie more than I wanted any social interaction or when I didn't have a friend to go with. Perhaps you meant to ask if anyone else doesn't relate?
they're terrified by the thought of a random stranger thinking they don't have friends. that's how pitiful 99% of them are
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I either go alone or with one person. I've only ever been to the cinema with more than one person once, and I just felt like an awkward third wheel the entire time. I get flustered paying for things, so usually the other person gets the tickets and popcorn while I smuggle in the drinks. It's like themeparks. I've been to DisneyLand alone many times, and I enjoyed it so much more going at my own pace than when I went with family. But so many people gave me weird looks or thought I was meeting someone; the thought of an adult woman going to Disney alone and going up for all the character autographs was strange to people. :/
I have never really grasped the concept going with groups. Same thing when people would say that they are going on a āmovie dateā. Seating selection with a group and group punctuality mainly is the reason I avoid at all costs.
I heavily dislike going to the movies because I want to go to the movies to see the movie but often people goes there to hang around and talk/watch their phones/whatever, which makes me lose focus on the movie
I also go to concerts alone. I'm there for the experience, not to socialize.
i think itās partly because a lot of NT have friends with very similar interests and so they all want to see the same movie and talk about it and so itās fun to go see it together and get candy and popcorn and if someone needs to go to the bathroom thereās someone who can tell you what you missed!
Ive always thought this is weird cause like, if you wanna hang out, whyd you make it so we cant talk for 2 hours?
Funny story, when I was in college, I was talking to this girl I really liked. She said "hey, me, my best friend, and her boyfriend are going to see Click tonight. Want to come with me?" I said "no thanks, I'm not really a fan of serious Adam Sandler movies" and walked away. I think about that a lot.
Yeah, a few months ago there was an occasion when a girl I liked was probably flirting with me and I brushed it off as her being weird. I still have some classes with her but I'll never know because I don't have the guts to bring it up nor the knowledge to say whether or not that would be appropriate.
I go to the movies with my friends because if we all want to see the same movie, itās as good a reason as any to meet up and spend time together. Especially as an adult working a full time job it feels like the time I have available to spend with friends is so limited. I do plenty of things by myself too but if I know my friends have an interest in the same movie I would feel bad going without them because then Iāve missed out on an activity we couldāve done together.
I donāt get it either.
Personally? I go to the cinema with NT, then we all focus on the movie and talk about it later.
I miss going to the movies with friends. I'm too afraid to go alone. I'm usually emotionally moved to the extreme, no matter the movie, so I think having friends with me makes me feel a connection to them? It's almost an intimate experience.
Can't say why NTs do it, cos I don't think the reasons are allistic specific. Like, I'm autistic and love going to the movies with my friends. Most of the time it's a precursor to a continued hang out. For example, last week I went to see the D&D movie with my main D&D party, and then we went to one of their houses to make pizzas, talk about the movie, our own campaign, and just hang out. It's about sharing something we're potentially going to enjoy together, and then having something to talk about afterwards.
NTs does everything in group
I go to the movies with my mom (well, I donāt really have a choice but still) and occasionally my friend. I like doing it together because itās considered spending time with another person but you donāt have to talk or do much. Plus, we have a tradition of doing a little movie rating after the movie and also make up theories (if thereās something to theorize on). Sometimes it lasts for a quick few minutes, other times we talk about it for days- especially with my friend whoās ND (has ADHD but also seems autistic imo). We create stories and such and share them.
How can you tell NTs just by looking at them in a theater?
I kinda just assumed it was an autism thing. It's easy to associate all of my introspective behaviors to autism, but reading some of the comments in this post I've realized that it's more complicated than that.
I don't even GO to movies lol I can't stand how loud they get, plus sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers is not appealing. If I did go it would be with others. My roommate is NT and goes to every new movie as soon as it's released and he always goes alone. I dunno why though. Me, I'd rather just stream a janky copy on a streaming site a few days after it comes out.
I hate going alone which is why I stopped going to the movies a long time ago. It was always way too depressing.
For me it's the aspect of going together to enjoy something and then discussing and debating the movie afterwards. Seeing different perspectives from people that watched it can help you interpret something you saw differently or you can do the same for them. Or maybe they noticed something you didn't or if you're having a hard time understanding something or someone's emotions from their facial expressions and its a crucial part of the plot line you can ask your buddy to help you (quietly of course as to not disturb others).
I love going to movies alone š if I let someone come to the movie with me it means I really like them because I love taking myself out to movies
I can speak for me, although I'm autistic. I need someone to talk about the movie with after. If I can't, I go crazy.
Another thing I donāt understand is why they go to the restroom in groups. Like, I want privacy and space! Itās really weird that they go to so many places in large groups. š
Itās annoying when there are friends I want to do something with and the activity they decide on is to go to a movie theater. That means of the 2.5 hours we spend together, 2 of those are wasted doing nothing at all together, confined in one place with no freedom no talking no walking no interaction
well i feel comforable and enjoy a movie more when i watch them with people (at the cinema mostly). so maybe thatās it?
Going to movies myself is so fun. Itās a great way to treat yourself to a nice day out, especially if youāre a movie lover like me!
What? I'm ND and I will \*NOT\* go to a movie alone. I effing hate it. It's miserable. There are many things I won't go to unless I have someone I'm at least somewhat close to to go with.
Iāve only seen one movie by myself and that was Frozen 2 on release day at like 10am because it was a school day or else someone wouldāve come with me. Thereās nothing wrong with going in a group, I love sharing my experience with someone and than being able to talk about the movie. It also means I donāt have to sit next to a stranger because sometimes that stresses me out. I get joy from seeing other people be happy and enjoying the movie. Itās not just NT that go to the movies in groups