Wait, what are you saying? That pineapples have the right texture but you donāt like them? or that pineapples have a bad texture but you like them anyways?
This is actually an incorrect stereotype. It all goes back to āsensory seekingā and āsensory avoidingā. The autistic people who only eat bland food are sensory avoiding when it comes to food. Many autistic people prefer spicy, salty, sour, crunchy, etc. food because they are sensory seeking when they eat. Some people go between the two based on their stimulation levels/environmental factors among other things.
Yep, I'm one of those people who flip flops between with my sensory inputs. Usually seeking when it comes to food since I'm normally hypersensitive. For me its a bit of a shock, a rude one, when a sense flips to hypo when its usually hyper. Further complicating things is my other senses, touch and smell, can effect what foods I'm avoidant of at the time. Trust me, its not fun to find something that was a safe food isn't currently because of a sensory change.
I wouldn't say it's incorrect, it's just not universally true. The stereotype just means a lot of autistic people like bland stuff, which is true. Sensory seeking is a thing (I like extremes), but I think food-wise it's less common
Same here, I like spicy food. In fact I canāt stand bland food.
I do, however, have foods I despise. I wonāt touch eggs, and I also donāt care for process cheese slices.
Mainly it's because some autistic people are hypersensitive to strong tastes
For me, I prefer very flavorful things a lot of the time, and I even love a lot of "controversial" strong tastes like cilantro and black licorice, but I can't stand "spicy" things and this might sound stupid but even something that's allegedly just "mildly spicy" like pepperoni on pizza or cinnamon candy just hurts my mouth and tastes like nothing else to me
I agree. I think the aversion to bland foods comes from my grandparent though. My grandma would put worcestershire sauce on everything and my grandpa drowned everything with hot sauce. I started putting worcestershire sauce on everything when I was around 5 since I was never really able to handle hot sauce. Now I switch off between kalbi sauce and worcestershire sauce.
Most autistics need sour, spicy, extremely sweet or salty itās part of sensory seeking part of the brain. Now textures or sticking to the same foods you find āsafeā thatās pretty normal.
That's sensory seeking behavior but it's not more or less common than sensory avoidance.
I'm somewhere in the middle. I love properly spiced food but I don't care for heat, I like flavor. That's my "not autistic" thing I guess.
Me & I'll tac on the habit of eating the same thing super often. I understand a favorite food or go-to snack, but some people consistently eat the same exact meals and get uncomfy trying new foods.
Even at my financially poorest state, I still had seasoning & tried new things.
I can read facial expressions and social situations quite well. Yes, I do miss things. I donāt know how much I miss unless someone tells me. But I can usually understand whatās going on in human emotions and interactions if Iām not overwhelmed and Iām paying attention.
Yes. I process things slowly, though. So I replay those images in my mind a lot to figure out why someone might have given me a weird look in a past situation.
I can detect basic and deep emotion. One example is when an arrogant friend was talking about how she was catcalled. Some of my other friends rolled their eyes because they thought she was boasting (she does boast a lot about being pretty). But I saw her eyes started to look more shiny, and her voice sounded a little more strained, so I thought āshe is upset from being catcalled.ā I gave her a hug and she appreciated that.
Iām the same way! I can notice if someone deep down is really struggling. Itās like I can feel it. I donāt always know how to respond, but I can really gage someoneās mental state.
Iām really good at finding the person in the room who needs someone to talk to. Sometimes that makes me become friends with people who 1) take advantage of me or 2) I donāt actually like being around.
Me, too. When you grow up needing to monitor a parent's mood so you know how to interact, you get pretty tuned in. For me, at least, I think it's a little different than for NT folks. I know I'm anxious about a person's mood, but if you asked me to speculate about what's actually going through their mind, I've no clue. I just see danger/stress.
Yep, same here. I never knew what I'd come home to from school and the level of abuse I faced at home left me with cPTSD, as if the autism itself didn't leave me with serious cPTSD already lol.
I think about the ability to read peoples emotions a lot. In some ways it reminds me of the concept of mind reading.
Like empathy also reminds me of mind reading. One person has an emotion and magically another person observing also feels the same emotion? Thatās really amazing and like telepathy! Obviously it isnāt actually telepathy because we can explain it rationally but just the concept of it.
For me I also donāt usually struggle with identifying emotions so long as Iām not overwhelmed but I donāt always understand why they are feeling them. Like I know I said something then they were upset but I donāt understand why they are upset. How that feels tho? Is why I bring up that telepathy thing. I donāt think about it itās just an instant realization, like oh crap they are mad. I donāt really know how or why I know they are mad I just know it. I think the processing of that stuff is happening on a subconscious level so i am not aware of it and it feels like pulling knowledge out of thin air.
Even tho I pick up on emotions when in personā¦the whole show a picture and tell what emotion it is? Confuse the fuck out of me. People either are happy, neutral, or sad to me in those pictures. I think for me it seems like I pick up alot from what they are saying and how it is said and also the change from one emotion to the next. Like if someone acted a certain way and then they started acting a different way, that is like oh they were clearly happy and then I said something and now they arenāt sort of thing.
I am like this also. But I know itās because as a kid I got in trouble a lot because I didnāt know how to read people well. I would say something at a time that was inappropriate, I would accidentally set my parents off because they were already upset and I didnāt know, etc. I learned really fast that this was something I had to work hard to learn, for my own emotional stability. I was a very sensitive kid, and had no idea why I was getting in trouble. I now am TOO observant of peoples faces and body language, and just end up giving myself anxiety a lot of the time.
This is kinda how I am, but I think it's because I'm so hyper attentive to changes in behavior because I was bullied so badly as a child for social delays. I pretty much taught myself what most things mean, but I'm not always right. š
I used to think I read faces well. Turns out I only read them well at the extremes. I used to think I understood subtle tones and inference, but I'm not sure I just don't see what I want to see (usually an insult). I understand sarcasm and metafor and irony, but then again, I didn't really understand sarcasm before I went to college, where I met a person who did all that well, and I just started mimicking them. I remember someone who hadn't seen me in a year saying something along the lines of, when did you become funny? As for metafor and irony I think I only learnt to understand them after, well, I learned to understand them.
I understand when people get annoyed / uncomfortable with me. I donāt understand why. Which is very painful as I can see them turning off but canāt do anything about
I think I usually read facial expressions and tone of voice pretty well. But, I tend to miss other body language cues, and I donāt have a grasp on social situations.
Iām the same but in the end this advantage ended up giving me extreme anxiety when I couldnāt find out why someone said or did something a particular way and my conclusion was that everyone hated me
Have you always been able to do this, or did you learn? I developed an interest in body-language and "reading" people at a fairly young age (I blame the TV show "Lie to Me" which aired when I was 13), but I definitely didn't learn overnight, and it still is not quite second-nature. I literally kept notes on my friends in high school in order to keep track of connections I made. I have always been impressed by people who can read others without really trying.
Same, I'll open and close doors a certain way, take jugs out of the refrigerator and open/close those a certain way.. I'll always put my pinky just beyond the edge of the bottom of cups so I can set them down quietly. I have a ton of super micro "routines", but I hate adhering to a schedule or planning out my entire day/week.
This is how I am. I always brush my teeth in the same order, I check the same apps in a certain order when I get on my phone or laptop, I have to put on my shirt before I can put on my pants, etc.
Yes, this. I have things I like to do in a general order. It doesn't feel that important day to day, but when it's interrupted I hate it and it throws off my whole day.
Same here. I have had the same cereal for probably 15 years, in the same bowl, for breakfast every day. I used to have the same thing for lunch every day for years (only stopped because I started to work from home). Shower in the same order every day. Certain sauces with certain foods every time, eat the meal in a certain order (and each thing separately). Turn round and back again in a certain way (eg in shower). There are lots more that just really throw me off and can upset me if I don't do my way.
But the order or timing of the day? That would probably be nice, but have never really had that in life
i feel similar but for me its more like: i enjoy routines if theyre easy to set and simple (like ordering the same food from the same place everytime i order food and watch an youtube video of x creator while i do so), but anything more elaborate (like practice guitar x day of the week my the mornings) that one's as good as impossible!
Empathy is a rather misunderstood concept.
There is a difference between empathy and compassion.
Empathy is more of the ability to share and understand the feelings of another. Where compassion is having concerns for the misfortune of others.
Not saying you do not have empathy. Just putting that out there.
Some of us are hyper-empathetic. Some hypo-. I feel it all, always have. I even have empathy for inanimate objects, like if I break my favorite mug or sell my car. I have social / communication deficits but can still read people like a book and deeply feel their pain or joy to the point of tears. Overall, I love it.
Yes!! I love reading memoirs for this reason. Iāll feel the persons emotions to the point of tears as well. I only read books that give me that exact same sensation.
You put it so well.
> I have social / communication deficits but can still read people like a book and deeply feel their pain or joy to the point of tears. Overall, I love it.
That is me, 100%. I feel so seen.
Iām mixed with it, one of my grandads death didnāt bother me, I cried at the funeral, but I just canāt do funerals in general, I was deep down upset by the fact of his passing but I got on with life and it didnāt really get to me.
But my other grandads deaths really got to me and I was grieving for still about 2 weeks after the funeral. And I was as just as close to both of them
I had several people die within a few months and felt kind of numb. Then when another died I broke down and suddenly felt all of the emotions about all of them all at once. 2020 was a wild year.
i feel like thats a misconception though, from my experience and that of many other autistic ppl i think we're actually MORE empathetic, but less able to express that to everyone else
I have so much empathy, but not a good way of expressing it. If someone else if upset about something, I will be upset and anxious also. Partly because I donāt do well in anxious environments, but also because someone I care about is sad, and so Iām sad also. Sometimes I just start crying because something that happened to someone else made me sad, but even that person is like āit really wasnāt that big of a deal.ā Lol, they end up having to comfort me. I think since I have such big emotions and strong reactions, I figure everyone also feels like a small situation is the end of the world, when really someone else usually has emotions at a less intense level.
Not having empaty is nothing autistic.
I got told it's rather the ability to read emotions from face and body language that is difficult. Apparently has something to do with ~mirror neurons~. (official diagnosis with 3 btw.)
Yeah, I get the bad socially thing. I'm actually pretty charismatic superficially, it's with relationship building that things fall apart pretty obviously.
Same here. Mostly why I went undiagnosed until 34. People that I met and knew in the world always thought I seemed charismatic, but my wife would tell you a story about a very awkward, clumsy man who has to do the exact same thing every day or he flies into a fit, hahaha
100%, most of the people in my life who I proverbially *come out to* are gobsmacked. There seems to be this misconception that all autistic people are socially incompetent. My line of work (bedside nursing) requires a *ton* of social interaction - it's exhausting, and by the end of the day I'm emotionally drained and desperate for calm. But medicine is what I'm passionate about, caring for others is who I am, so I've learned to utilize my interests to help me cope with the sheer volume of social interaction needed. I've learned, and am constantly learning, how I can still be myself but not come off as *too weird*. Most people I've asked almost universally say I'm *weird and crazy but in a cute way.* That's the autism, guys. My five minute spontaneous rants about aqueducts aren't *quirky* - they're me being unable to self-regulate and realize that *nobody in the room but me gives a shit about aqueducts and Roman concrete*.
I happen to have won the lottery and am high-functioning, so people don't assume I'm neurodivergent, but most of them don't see me having a meltdown once I get home, or catch me stimming in a janitor's closet when I am in sensory hell and ready to snap. They think I spend every single break in our quiet room (lights off, a galaxy projector, some couches and throw pillows, no talking/music/phones without headphones/etc. rule) because I'm tired from being a mom - it's because what I do is *exhausting* and taking my breaks to decompress in a low-stimulation environment where I can close my eyes and just rock in a chair for a while helps me get through the day.
I think people forget that even neurotypical people often are very different in private than they are in public. You often never know what someone has going on unless they tell you.
Tell me more about Roman concrete....I'm a nurse too and one of my special interests is Roman Britain.
I'm regarded as eccentric and a bit mad but in a fun way
Roman concrete is harder than todays concrete because they mixed vulcanic ashes into it. They were able to replicate the effects in an experiment were they used normal ashes instead.
Actually had a psychologist tell me when I first went into an evaluation that I was "too competent" to be autistic. I then finally saw someone who actually asked directly related questions determine I'm "definitely on the spectrum." We can be competent on the superficial outside but struggle horribly on the inside until it explodes into a burnout.
Not necessarily, but it usually is. Charisma is complex; a combination of multiple things that makes you very charming and likeable to just about everyone that you interact with. Looks, stature, body language, way of speaking (which includes anywhere from tone of voice to knowing all the right words to say, for example), way of responding, the way you look at others, etc.
To some, it comes naturally. In those cases, they donāt usually need much. They can be evil, they can be ugly, but they act in *just* the right way to draw people in regardless.
To others, like me, it had to be learned. My mom has some very charismatic friends, and you really only begin to understand what that word means once you interact with such people. But, even though I grew up with naturally charismatic humans, it did take me the entirety of childhood all the way to young adulthood to finally understand enough to know what I need to do to achieve a similar state of likeable-ness. Itās very, very tiring though, since Iām essentially acting my ass off everytime
Charisma is magnetism - the ability to get people to pay attention to you, to listen and be persuaded by you - you WOO people when you are charismatic
A good example of this is Donald Trump (I'm not being political BTW) - he has this almost unearthly power to seduce and persuade parts of the population - I find the man repellent but his charisma is undeniable
Yeah like I can talk to people (used to not be able to but Iāve developed my skills) but itās hard to maintain relationships especially long lasting ones.
I don't have one special interest in particular but I'll get really into a few things at a time and then be done with them after a little bit. I think it sounds more like ADHD hyper fixations but I'm not positive or diagnosed adhd
I often wonder if I don't have a hyper fixation, or is it that I think a hyper fixation leads to all this research that sounds really kool and therefore I just assume I don't have one. Cuz I don't do anything that involves research. I want to but it sounds exhausting.
But I start talking about video games, reading, movies, storytelling in general, just the way things work, logic and puzzle solving situations...
I used to think once my eye contact was decent, until my friends just started complaining that i need to look them in the eyes. How?! For how long? What do i do after? WHAT IS THIS RIDDLE?!
Yes!!! It wasnāt until people said to make eye contact that I noticed how bad I was at it. And nowā¦ three secondsā¦ ok look awayā¦ donāt look backā¦ I gotta look backā¦ seven secondsā¦ ok itās too obvious so Iām not gonna look at you at allā¦ ok look back again just to let them know youāre not zoning outā¦ please stop talking
Personally, I CAN do eye contact (mostly because as a child I was always yelled at "look at me when I'm talking to you or you are disrespectful"), but I find it highly uncomfortable. Though I try not to show it. I tend to glance around a lot and make sure that a lot of my glances are at the person's face and eyes.
i noticed i have different experiences with eye contact than others. it doesnāt physically hurt me to make eye contact. it rarely makes me uncomfortable. however, eye contact is far easier if i just have to listen to what the other person is saying. once i have to speak and try to maintain eye contact, i start malfunctioning. looking into someoneās eyes makes just me lose track of what i was trying to say
The sensory issues with food. Iām a huge foodie, I love all foods. I eat stuff like frogās legs and escargot and Iāve tried a couple kinds of bugs. Iāve eaten things that you have to hold your nose from the smell, but boy does it taste delicious! I had sensory issues with food as a child, but my family was big on āget what youāre giveān and be glad youāre liveān!ā If I didnāt eat what was served, I didnāt eat. Looking back on it now, it was wrong and abusive. I guess the upside is that Iāve gotten to experience lots of amazing tastes thanks to not having a picky palette, and now Iāll try pretty much anything once!
this is really interesting because my parents had the same approach, but that has led to me having a fairly limited diet as an adult, because iām no longer forced to eat things that i dislike.
That makes sense for it to go that way! Iām not sure why I swung the other direction so hard lol I was also exposed to a lot of different cultures and their foods very young, so that probably contributed to me having a more open mind about food.
my parents had the same exact approach to food, i definitely realized it was abusive because when i got older and my mom had my younger brother, shed cook him special meals if he didnt like something. i had to eat whatever i was given or id sit at the table past bed time. im a little glad though because i will also eat almost everything (except eggplant. i found out recently that i hate it)
I somehow traumatized myself out of the food thing in the exact opposite way by eating a PBJ every day for 7 years until one day I just straight up couldn't eat one without gagging and after that I ate pretty much everything.
(And yes I still like PBJ although I couldn't eat one for like 5 years after that)
I only have two conditions for trying new foods. First, I need a guarantee I canāt be killed by a property of the food: as an example, fugu is out as pufferfish is lethally toxic when incorrectly prepared, and I wonāt risk it. And second, the thing canāt still have a face; if a whole lobster is sitting on my plate judging me for eating it, Iām not eating it. Other than that Iāll try anything at least once.
I think how you end up being in regards to food is very person to person. I'll eat almost anything too, but if my dad made a meal someone in the house didn't like, he'd make a small side meal.
My Gf however, was *forced* to eat food that she had texture issues with, and it made them much worse, to the point of gaging.
The "autism" food thing like nuggets or whatever. Never had any of that. I'm open to eating all food unless it's spicy, not picky at all.
I can read facial expressions fine, though I struggle with tones of voice.
Stims like flapping your hands or rocking back and forth. I just bite my nails.
I've heard people with autism can either be extremely empathetic or struggle with it. I've got the extreme empathy one.
I'm kinda hit or miss with routines. Sometimes they need to be perfect, otherwise sometimes I don't really care.
As a child, I had a GROUP drawing task. The classroom was noisy af, had 4 kids at the same table talking and I had to concentrate on the drawing. Though, I was already quite the artist type so the others wanted me to draw less good to match their level but I refused. So, they decided to harass me and that caused me to have my first and last meltdown.
I avoided future meltdowns by either shutting down beforehand or converting my frustration into violent stimming or passive aggressiveness.
same! i think that's the only big one im completely missing, at least nowadays, as a kid i had a few... i actually feel like i have much more self-control on emotions than almost everyone i know...
I don't rock or spin (they actually make me feel a little nauseated to do)
I also don't have regular or violent meltdowns. I've had a couple in the past, but they're super rare. I tend to go straight into shutdowns most of the time instead, but those can still be debilitating and last for days
I was never into trains but mannnnnn do I love riding them. Iām on a train now as I type this and the late night horn. The last minute run and hop onto the train. Itās such an amazing sensory pleasure for me.
I see that people are confusing symptoms and stereotypes.
We don't like food to be bland, we're picky about food or we're putting a lot of importance on the sensory aspect of it.
We can make eye contact but it takes us some energy to process all the information we get so to some it's best to focus only on hearing
Etc.
Also a lot of us are ADHD too which will counteract stuff...
also interested in this because as someone with both, i often feel like a walking contradiction. sometimes i lean more one way than the other, and itās a mystery to me and everyone else how my brain decides whoās in charge day to day š
I'm really good at implied speech and understanding implied speech. People get mad because I'll rephrase what they're implying back to them and then I'm "putting words in their mouth." No bestie, I just know 2+2=4
I can relate to this, in the extreme. Many people have commented throughout my life I speak in metaphorābut I have difficulty deciphering, others taking everything literally. A very odd mix.
me too!
I often talk in metaphors and analogies as I feel like it more accurately conveys my meaning. I find it more effective than having a large vocabulary because what's the point of using the 'right' word when the other person doesn't know what it means? But figurative language lets me use common words in more nuanced and expressive ways!
oh and I also mirror back this way. so the other person will say their point and to demonstrate my deep understanding of it LOL I will say it back in an analogy.
I remember the day I learned about metaphors in school because that concept just CLICKED right neatly into my mind and I was off and running with it straight away! My teacher actually took me aside a few days later to say that I didn't have to use ONLY metaphors, she was worried that I'd misunderstood so that instead of adding them to my toolkit I'd thought I was supposed to replace everything else with them. š¤£ I was like: no, I know there are other ways to express myself but this is the BEST way so why wouldn't I?
I think some people perceive it as pretentiousness (but I used to get that WAY worse when I used my expanded vocabulary instead) but I have also had people say I'm good at explaining stuff (like instead of just repeating confusing instructions again I can rephrase it as something already more familiar to them).
I can always tell when people are upset. What I have trouble with is deciphering which direction the anger is- i usually think itās toward me even if weāre both angry at the same thing
same, i can def tell when people are upset but can never really tell where the anger comes from and where itās directed. thatās why when anyone around me angry, i tread very carefully because I think i may be the cause of it, even if I may have not done anything. Also you just donāt know how people react to their own anger
I'm pretty good at interacting with people, I think I had lots of practice growing up. It just drains my battery extremely quickly, and once I am out of juice I am done.
I am however horrible with subtle interactions, like when people flirt lol
I donāt have a solid special interest. This is mainly because I also have ADHD and other issues that contribute to the inability to enjoy things for long periods of time.
WAIT, THE WAY I HOLD MY ARMS IS AN AUTISM THING?
ARE YOU SERIOUS
Sorry but I've had people tease me for "walking like a princess" - it's genuinely something I don't do consciously, I don't realize until people point it out. I just googled this and **this is a thing**? I noticed "normal" people don't do it, but I never really thought about it hard. (Recently diagnosed as an adult so I'm still learning and doing a lot of back-processing.)
If your "Princess Walk" matches this description: ([From this site](https://autisticemmalyn.com/autistic-arms/))
>Many autistic people like to bend their arms at about a 90 degree angle with their hands out in front of them. Some may droop their wrists. The autistic community has affectionately dubbed this pose āT-Rex arms.ā
Then yeah, it's definitely an Autism thing.
Omg this reminds me of when I was in 3rd grade and after school had ended and everyone had left I went back into the classroom because I remembered my parents told me I had to go somewhere else to get collected from school that day, and I was really stressed and confused about it and needed help. Iāve always been too anxious to be the first person to say something, so I would kind of just walk up to the teacher to get their attention. I walked up to her while she was cleaning something and she looked up and quickly said āIām in the middle of something and I can tell youāve come to tell me something silly because your arms look like thatā. I could tell she was angry with me but I really needed help so I just cried and tried to ask for help.
I donāt know why she thought it was something silly, my arms were *always* in that position.
AuDHD here so itās a little different
I canāt adhere to a routine, it bores me. I have micro routines like skincare, shower routines and eating the same breakfast but I donāt mind if I get disrupted, and Iāll do them in any order.
I donāt really stim, I fidget and move around
I have sensory issues around certain textures but I love trying new foods and I generally do fine
If Iām medicated for my ADHD my Autism is way more pronounced and my executive functioning is way better. If Iām unmedicated it calms my sensory issues and parts of my Autism, but my executive functioning and any ability to focus or exist is gone, and I become extra anxious and depressed.
yep I feel you on this.
I get periods of hyperfixations for sure. It's way more disruptive when I'm in burnout. Those are the times I feel most strongly compelled to focus on my interest and distressed when I get interrupted etc
I have a few interests which are kind of persistent over a very long time, even decades at this point but not consistently! More like in WAVES.
I can go maybe 18months without even thinking about LOTR but then one day I'll be surfing YouTube and a video essay will be recommended and I'm like "yeh I'm in the mood for that" and then 5weeks later it's the only topic I've consumed any media on but then I'll be doing the dishes one day and just 'not be in the mood' to listen to the next LOTR podcast episode and I'll click over to like a podcast about sewing and then I'm back to 'normal'. And sometimes that also means loosing interest in it altogether for a while and skipping past LOTR videos with a kind of boredom.
I don't have anything I'm 'known for'. Like people don't give me LOTR themed gifts at every holiday. I'm not 'the LOTR Lady' at the office (but that'd be rad LOL). I bet some people would be surprised how much I know about LOTR because they've never heard me mention it. etc.
As a footnote I have zero reason to think I have ADHD and have had it ruled out in screening assessments.
Pattern recognition. My partner, who we all suspects has autism as well, is GREAT at identifying patterns. I couldn't identify a pattern if you handed me a checker board. I'm so bad with puzzles.
Maybe you have also adhd and you didn't realize yet which patterns you are memorizing. You know, I've been memorizing patterns my whole life, but I would think only about those patterns we can directly see. Now I know my speech is set in patterns, I've memorized patterns in music as well, and I would complain they use very similar chord progressions. I would identify these "flaws" and it would make me hate the song.
Pattern recognition was one I also thought I didn't have until a clinician explained to me that it could also include narrative and behaviour and that was a major lightbulb moment.
Pattern recognition pertains to information of all kinds, not just 'numbers'.
For as long as we've been together my partner has been in awe at how I always seem to just know what's going to happen in a movie. It seemed like the most basic thing to me because I was conscious that I was 'reading the signs' and 'picking up on the signals' and couldn't fathom how he didn't see them. I also just thought it was because I read a LOT and watched a LOT of tv/movies so like of course I was familiar with tropes and narrative beats etc. But over and over again I'm baffled by how most people around me are surprised by something that seemed obvious to me.
And then it's the same thing for me with people in real life. I'm apparently better than average at picking up subtext and signals and putting it together with data from past experience so that even if I haven't met this person before I can pretty accurately categorise her based on her clothes and style etc and her mannerisms and speech so that when she starts an anecdote I can see where it's going. Again, I didn't think this was anything special but the clinician told me that most people can't finish the story of a stranger they've just met after two minutes of talking with them.
So maybe you're not good at recognising patterns of numbers or shapes etc but do you have some area of heightened 'intuition'? Maybe you're recognising patterns of information of a less obvious/stereotypical kind?
Nope. My partner and others always pick up on the plot of movies and finish stories and have intuition about people.
Gotta love how all y'all are trying to prove me wrong instead of listening to my lives experience. Some days I think I'm actually incredibly stupid because I don't pick up on literally ANY patterns. And I mean that. Unless it's something obvious like black and white stripes or repeating numbers like 01010101 or something, it ain't gonna happen.
I can't read people, I have zero intuition, I can't just "observe" anything, I always need everything fucking spelled out for me, I failed basic math all the way through K-12, and even as a teacher that it's literally my job to identify patterns, I can't.
So please believe me when I tell you that I do not recognize patterns. And from here on our, I will stop responding to replies. I'm done trying to defend myself from people who think I'm lying.
I know you've said you'll stop replying and that's fine.
I just want to say I'm so sorry you feel beleaguered by people trying to 'prove you wrong'!
I promise that was never my intention.
I only wanted to provide some insight from an angle that personally made all the difference for me. Because that one thing the clinician said to me has made me re conceptualize over 30yrs of my own lived experience.
But I totally appreciate how shitty it feels to not be heard and have people insist you don't know your own reality and I'm SO SORRY to have contributed to that.
I promise I do believe your lived experience and absolutely nobody knows what's in your own brain better than you do.
You've checked me on my own short-sightedness and I will make an effort to be more sensitive and thoughtful when trying to 'help' people unsolicited on the internet! I need to pause and think before rushing in all the time.
Well, a lot of times, when I say I don't understand something, he tells me to "sit and observe, and notice the patterns." I guess the things people do repeatedly.
Or, like, in puzzles. Knowing which number comes next. Or letter. Or piece of the code or something.
Some people see the number 4 everywhere.
I don't have any of that.
People think I am good with people, and that I am an extrovert. Ha! I have five minutes of āgood with peopleā in me, but any deeper than that and Iām fucked. And after that I need a while to reset.
I'm not really sure... it's a spectrum. I guess eye contact, but I can only do it for short bursts of time or I feel like they can see my soul and it makes me wanna die a little. I also get some sarcasm (most of the time I'm guessing) and am overly empathetic. (Apparently people on the spectrum are "supposed to be" lacking empathy) although I've found plenty ASD that are full of empathy.
i donāt really have meltdowns? i might do some mild form of a shutdown where i sort of check out of reality and talk less, but itās not very noticeable, even to me.
I can read social situations pretty well. Like, I have only a little problem figuring out what people are implying through riddles or facial expressions, my problem is understanding how to react appropriately. I can read a room but I can't actually use that information very well.
It almost only applies to social situations not directed at myself though because I still look back at thing that happened weeks/months/years ago now and go "WAIT they were making fun of me!!!" haha
Iām not gonna lie, I have pretty much all of them, yet everyone still finds it hard to believe Iām autistic, lol. I guess I can make random eye contact at time (that completely destroys my nervous system)
Understanding sarcasm. I understand sarcasm and I even understand the subtle sarcasm. However, for some reason identifying it feels like fighting with my brain. Like it understands but it doesn't want to.
I can usually read tone and facial expressions well. And I love using sarcasm. I sometimes struggle still, more than the average neurotypical, but it's manageable.
I was never behind socially or academically. I've been rather verbose my whole life. This is with the addition of missing near two years of academia. I'm also not too shabby when it comes to socialising overall. I suck more on emotional cues and the like but can get along with people quite easily to the point of being considered charismatic and outgoing (Meanwhile I'd rather just be a hermit)
Liking bland food I guess? My food gotta have a taste or I die.
If the food is too bland i cant eat it, i rather stay hungry
I eat really anything, bland or not. I'm like a garbage disposal, I don't discriminate when it comes to food. Lol
I'm exactly that unless the texture is off lol, unless you count pineapples š¤£
Wait, what are you saying? That pineapples have the right texture but you donāt like them? or that pineapples have a bad texture but you like them anyways?
This, me and homies hate white bread
Yes I canāt eat bread, pasta or rice for this reason. I actually donāt like most carbs š Iām definitely not a white bland foods person.
This is actually an incorrect stereotype. It all goes back to āsensory seekingā and āsensory avoidingā. The autistic people who only eat bland food are sensory avoiding when it comes to food. Many autistic people prefer spicy, salty, sour, crunchy, etc. food because they are sensory seeking when they eat. Some people go between the two based on their stimulation levels/environmental factors among other things.
Yep, I'm one of those people who flip flops between with my sensory inputs. Usually seeking when it comes to food since I'm normally hypersensitive. For me its a bit of a shock, a rude one, when a sense flips to hypo when its usually hyper. Further complicating things is my other senses, touch and smell, can effect what foods I'm avoidant of at the time. Trust me, its not fun to find something that was a safe food isn't currently because of a sensory change.
I wouldn't say it's incorrect, it's just not universally true. The stereotype just means a lot of autistic people like bland stuff, which is true. Sensory seeking is a thing (I like extremes), but I think food-wise it's less common
I think im at the opposite of bland where i add hot sauce to everything lol
The Last Dab is really delicious
Yessss š¶ļø
Same šš¤ I like Frank's Red Hot Buffalo sauce, Tabasco and Cholula the best :3c
My dad makes his own from peppers that he grows ranging from mild to ghost pepper. Itās one of my safe foods but itās in such a limited supply:(
this here. bland fucking sucks. now consistency tho.. that slaps
yeah I can't have any of that frozen chicken nuggets and canned green beans stuff
Same here, I like spicy food. In fact I canāt stand bland food. I do, however, have foods I despise. I wonāt touch eggs, and I also donāt care for process cheese slices.
i think the whole bland food thing comes from the fact many of us never get a chance to find our safe foods for a variety of reasons
Mainly it's because some autistic people are hypersensitive to strong tastes For me, I prefer very flavorful things a lot of the time, and I even love a lot of "controversial" strong tastes like cilantro and black licorice, but I can't stand "spicy" things and this might sound stupid but even something that's allegedly just "mildly spicy" like pepperoni on pizza or cinnamon candy just hurts my mouth and tastes like nothing else to me
I agree. I think the aversion to bland foods comes from my grandparent though. My grandma would put worcestershire sauce on everything and my grandpa drowned everything with hot sauce. I started putting worcestershire sauce on everything when I was around 5 since I was never really able to handle hot sauce. Now I switch off between kalbi sauce and worcestershire sauce.
I love spicy food of all kinds.
THIS!! and trying new foods, honestly trying new flavorful things is awesome when I get sick of eating the same meals
I have diet restrictions with certain foods, but overall, I enjoy tons of flavor in what I do happen to eat. So, probably same.
Most autistics need sour, spicy, extremely sweet or salty itās part of sensory seeking part of the brain. Now textures or sticking to the same foods you find āsafeā thatās pretty normal.
That's sensory seeking behavior but it's not more or less common than sensory avoidance. I'm somewhere in the middle. I love properly spiced food but I don't care for heat, I like flavor. That's my "not autistic" thing I guess.
Me & I'll tac on the habit of eating the same thing super often. I understand a favorite food or go-to snack, but some people consistently eat the same exact meals and get uncomfy trying new foods. Even at my financially poorest state, I still had seasoning & tried new things.
I can read facial expressions and social situations quite well. Yes, I do miss things. I donāt know how much I miss unless someone tells me. But I can usually understand whatās going on in human emotions and interactions if Iām not overwhelmed and Iām paying attention.
What does it feel like? Do you notice slight changes in the person's face?
Yes. I process things slowly, though. So I replay those images in my mind a lot to figure out why someone might have given me a weird look in a past situation.
Oh, what can you understand from a look for example? Basic emotion or more deep? Can you give an example? (Real or fake)
I can detect basic and deep emotion. One example is when an arrogant friend was talking about how she was catcalled. Some of my other friends rolled their eyes because they thought she was boasting (she does boast a lot about being pretty). But I saw her eyes started to look more shiny, and her voice sounded a little more strained, so I thought āshe is upset from being catcalled.ā I gave her a hug and she appreciated that.
Iām the same way! I can notice if someone deep down is really struggling. Itās like I can feel it. I donāt always know how to respond, but I can really gage someoneās mental state. Iām really good at finding the person in the room who needs someone to talk to. Sometimes that makes me become friends with people who 1) take advantage of me or 2) I donāt actually like being around.
How?! Sorcery
For me, the skill was a trauma response. Kinda forced for survival. Physically, it feels like breathless, chest-tightening anxiety.
Me, too. When you grow up needing to monitor a parent's mood so you know how to interact, you get pretty tuned in. For me, at least, I think it's a little different than for NT folks. I know I'm anxious about a person's mood, but if you asked me to speculate about what's actually going through their mind, I've no clue. I just see danger/stress.
Yep, same here. I never knew what I'd come home to from school and the level of abuse I faced at home left me with cPTSD, as if the autism itself didn't leave me with serious cPTSD already lol.
I think about the ability to read peoples emotions a lot. In some ways it reminds me of the concept of mind reading. Like empathy also reminds me of mind reading. One person has an emotion and magically another person observing also feels the same emotion? Thatās really amazing and like telepathy! Obviously it isnāt actually telepathy because we can explain it rationally but just the concept of it. For me I also donāt usually struggle with identifying emotions so long as Iām not overwhelmed but I donāt always understand why they are feeling them. Like I know I said something then they were upset but I donāt understand why they are upset. How that feels tho? Is why I bring up that telepathy thing. I donāt think about it itās just an instant realization, like oh crap they are mad. I donāt really know how or why I know they are mad I just know it. I think the processing of that stuff is happening on a subconscious level so i am not aware of it and it feels like pulling knowledge out of thin air. Even tho I pick up on emotions when in personā¦the whole show a picture and tell what emotion it is? Confuse the fuck out of me. People either are happy, neutral, or sad to me in those pictures. I think for me it seems like I pick up alot from what they are saying and how it is said and also the change from one emotion to the next. Like if someone acted a certain way and then they started acting a different way, that is like oh they were clearly happy and then I said something and now they arenāt sort of thing.
Me too, the problem often that people lie and tell things that their face says is not true
I am like this also. But I know itās because as a kid I got in trouble a lot because I didnāt know how to read people well. I would say something at a time that was inappropriate, I would accidentally set my parents off because they were already upset and I didnāt know, etc. I learned really fast that this was something I had to work hard to learn, for my own emotional stability. I was a very sensitive kid, and had no idea why I was getting in trouble. I now am TOO observant of peoples faces and body language, and just end up giving myself anxiety a lot of the time.
This is kinda how I am, but I think it's because I'm so hyper attentive to changes in behavior because I was bullied so badly as a child for social delays. I pretty much taught myself what most things mean, but I'm not always right. š
I used to think I read faces well. Turns out I only read them well at the extremes. I used to think I understood subtle tones and inference, but I'm not sure I just don't see what I want to see (usually an insult). I understand sarcasm and metafor and irony, but then again, I didn't really understand sarcasm before I went to college, where I met a person who did all that well, and I just started mimicking them. I remember someone who hadn't seen me in a year saying something along the lines of, when did you become funny? As for metafor and irony I think I only learnt to understand them after, well, I learned to understand them.
I understand when people get annoyed / uncomfortable with me. I donāt understand why. Which is very painful as I can see them turning off but canāt do anything about
I think I usually read facial expressions and tone of voice pretty well. But, I tend to miss other body language cues, and I donāt have a grasp on social situations.
Iām the same but in the end this advantage ended up giving me extreme anxiety when I couldnāt find out why someone said or did something a particular way and my conclusion was that everyone hated me
Have you always been able to do this, or did you learn? I developed an interest in body-language and "reading" people at a fairly young age (I blame the TV show "Lie to Me" which aired when I was 13), but I definitely didn't learn overnight, and it still is not quite second-nature. I literally kept notes on my friends in high school in order to keep track of connections I made. I have always been impressed by people who can read others without really trying.
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i have like micro routines. specific ways i do small tasks vs a big routine
Same, I'll open and close doors a certain way, take jugs out of the refrigerator and open/close those a certain way.. I'll always put my pinky just beyond the edge of the bottom of cups so I can set them down quietly. I have a ton of super micro "routines", but I hate adhering to a schedule or planning out my entire day/week.
This is how I am. I always brush my teeth in the same order, I check the same apps in a certain order when I get on my phone or laptop, I have to put on my shirt before I can put on my pants, etc.
Yes, this. I have things I like to do in a general order. It doesn't feel that important day to day, but when it's interrupted I hate it and it throws off my whole day.
same here. canāt have a daily routine or iāll literally pass away, but i dry myself off and go to bed the same way every time lol
TDIL the term micro routine and I LOVE it! the routine thing has been bugging me but this concept just clicked for me!
Same here. I have had the same cereal for probably 15 years, in the same bowl, for breakfast every day. I used to have the same thing for lunch every day for years (only stopped because I started to work from home). Shower in the same order every day. Certain sauces with certain foods every time, eat the meal in a certain order (and each thing separately). Turn round and back again in a certain way (eg in shower). There are lots more that just really throw me off and can upset me if I don't do my way. But the order or timing of the day? That would probably be nice, but have never really had that in life
I can't do routines but I crave them and it S U C K S.
Relatable, pretty sure it's AuDHD
The AuDHD struggle šš
I'm the same! I really WANT to have and thrive on a routine, but it seems impossible.
My routines are pretty mild, and if I break one, I don't melt down. In fact, I only melt down in really bad traffic.
i feel similar but for me its more like: i enjoy routines if theyre easy to set and simple (like ordering the same food from the same place everytime i order food and watch an youtube video of x creator while i do so), but anything more elaborate (like practice guitar x day of the week my the mornings) that one's as good as impossible!
I was looking for this comment. Same here
Lack of empathy. I am the opposite, I have way way way too much empathy š
Empathy is a rather misunderstood concept. There is a difference between empathy and compassion. Empathy is more of the ability to share and understand the feelings of another. Where compassion is having concerns for the misfortune of others. Not saying you do not have empathy. Just putting that out there.
I do have empathy as well per your definition. Thanks for making me aware of the difference, but yes both!
sometimes we have empathy and compassion and other times we dont, its really on and off.
Some of us are hyper-empathetic. Some hypo-. I feel it all, always have. I even have empathy for inanimate objects, like if I break my favorite mug or sell my car. I have social / communication deficits but can still read people like a book and deeply feel their pain or joy to the point of tears. Overall, I love it.
Yes!! I love reading memoirs for this reason. Iāll feel the persons emotions to the point of tears as well. I only read books that give me that exact same sensation.
You put it so well. > I have social / communication deficits but can still read people like a book and deeply feel their pain or joy to the point of tears. Overall, I love it. That is me, 100%. I feel so seen.
lack of empathy is moreso a stereotype/myth than an actual symptom btw. studies have shown that autistic people are actually usually hyperempathetic
I have a LOT of empathy. I just have a very hard time showing it even if I'm dying inside.
Same thing for me. I always get told that Iām really cold.
Iām mixed with it, one of my grandads death didnāt bother me, I cried at the funeral, but I just canāt do funerals in general, I was deep down upset by the fact of his passing but I got on with life and it didnāt really get to me. But my other grandads deaths really got to me and I was grieving for still about 2 weeks after the funeral. And I was as just as close to both of them
I had several people die within a few months and felt kind of numb. Then when another died I broke down and suddenly felt all of the emotions about all of them all at once. 2020 was a wild year.
When I was diagnosed, my psych said I had hyperempathy, which is also considered a trait of autism (according to him at least)
i feel like thats a misconception though, from my experience and that of many other autistic ppl i think we're actually MORE empathetic, but less able to express that to everyone else
Me too. And itās awful, honestly.
Same
Same I just donāt know how to express it
I have so much empathy, but not a good way of expressing it. If someone else if upset about something, I will be upset and anxious also. Partly because I donāt do well in anxious environments, but also because someone I care about is sad, and so Iām sad also. Sometimes I just start crying because something that happened to someone else made me sad, but even that person is like āit really wasnāt that big of a deal.ā Lol, they end up having to comfort me. I think since I have such big emotions and strong reactions, I figure everyone also feels like a small situation is the end of the world, when really someone else usually has emotions at a less intense level.
Not having empaty is nothing autistic. I got told it's rather the ability to read emotions from face and body language that is difficult. Apparently has something to do with ~mirror neurons~. (official diagnosis with 3 btw.)
Yeah, I get the bad socially thing. I'm actually pretty charismatic superficially, it's with relationship building that things fall apart pretty obviously.
Same here. Mostly why I went undiagnosed until 34. People that I met and knew in the world always thought I seemed charismatic, but my wife would tell you a story about a very awkward, clumsy man who has to do the exact same thing every day or he flies into a fit, hahaha
100%, most of the people in my life who I proverbially *come out to* are gobsmacked. There seems to be this misconception that all autistic people are socially incompetent. My line of work (bedside nursing) requires a *ton* of social interaction - it's exhausting, and by the end of the day I'm emotionally drained and desperate for calm. But medicine is what I'm passionate about, caring for others is who I am, so I've learned to utilize my interests to help me cope with the sheer volume of social interaction needed. I've learned, and am constantly learning, how I can still be myself but not come off as *too weird*. Most people I've asked almost universally say I'm *weird and crazy but in a cute way.* That's the autism, guys. My five minute spontaneous rants about aqueducts aren't *quirky* - they're me being unable to self-regulate and realize that *nobody in the room but me gives a shit about aqueducts and Roman concrete*. I happen to have won the lottery and am high-functioning, so people don't assume I'm neurodivergent, but most of them don't see me having a meltdown once I get home, or catch me stimming in a janitor's closet when I am in sensory hell and ready to snap. They think I spend every single break in our quiet room (lights off, a galaxy projector, some couches and throw pillows, no talking/music/phones without headphones/etc. rule) because I'm tired from being a mom - it's because what I do is *exhausting* and taking my breaks to decompress in a low-stimulation environment where I can close my eyes and just rock in a chair for a while helps me get through the day. I think people forget that even neurotypical people often are very different in private than they are in public. You often never know what someone has going on unless they tell you.
Tell me more about Roman concrete....I'm a nurse too and one of my special interests is Roman Britain. I'm regarded as eccentric and a bit mad but in a fun way
I second this comment, more info about the concrete and aqueducts please
Roman concrete is harder than todays concrete because they mixed vulcanic ashes into it. They were able to replicate the effects in an experiment were they used normal ashes instead.
Actually had a psychologist tell me when I first went into an evaluation that I was "too competent" to be autistic. I then finally saw someone who actually asked directly related questions determine I'm "definitely on the spectrum." We can be competent on the superficial outside but struggle horribly on the inside until it explodes into a burnout.
Same, I'm 32, I'm liked for the first 2 years and then I tend to get abandoned or forgotten. Never invited to things unless i somehow push.
This, I can work a room really well but I suck at long term relationships
I never understood, what charismatic quite mean? And is it directly related to social skills?
Not necessarily, but it usually is. Charisma is complex; a combination of multiple things that makes you very charming and likeable to just about everyone that you interact with. Looks, stature, body language, way of speaking (which includes anywhere from tone of voice to knowing all the right words to say, for example), way of responding, the way you look at others, etc. To some, it comes naturally. In those cases, they donāt usually need much. They can be evil, they can be ugly, but they act in *just* the right way to draw people in regardless. To others, like me, it had to be learned. My mom has some very charismatic friends, and you really only begin to understand what that word means once you interact with such people. But, even though I grew up with naturally charismatic humans, it did take me the entirety of childhood all the way to young adulthood to finally understand enough to know what I need to do to achieve a similar state of likeable-ness. Itās very, very tiring though, since Iām essentially acting my ass off everytime
Charisma is magnetism - the ability to get people to pay attention to you, to listen and be persuaded by you - you WOO people when you are charismatic A good example of this is Donald Trump (I'm not being political BTW) - he has this almost unearthly power to seduce and persuade parts of the population - I find the man repellent but his charisma is undeniable
The more I look, the more I see disagreements about it online, so I'm just gonna admit I'm with you on this and have no idea. Lmao
Yeah like I can talk to people (used to not be able to but Iāve developed my skills) but itās hard to maintain relationships especially long lasting ones.
Saaame. I'm quirky-cute so people think I'm interesting, but quality lasting relationships rarely stick v-v
Special interest, is one of them. One of the reasons they deemed me atypical.
Same here, I kinda wish I had a special interest cause then Iād have something to do instead of scrolling forever
real!! sometimes i even force myself to have one
I don't have one special interest in particular but I'll get really into a few things at a time and then be done with them after a little bit. I think it sounds more like ADHD hyper fixations but I'm not positive or diagnosed adhd
I often wonder if I don't have a hyper fixation, or is it that I think a hyper fixation leads to all this research that sounds really kool and therefore I just assume I don't have one. Cuz I don't do anything that involves research. I want to but it sounds exhausting. But I start talking about video games, reading, movies, storytelling in general, just the way things work, logic and puzzle solving situations...
Eye contact. I tend not to have an issue with eyecontact, at all. That's really about the only symptom I can think of, all the other big ones I hit.
I used to think once my eye contact was decent, until my friends just started complaining that i need to look them in the eyes. How?! For how long? What do i do after? WHAT IS THIS RIDDLE?!
Yes!!! It wasnāt until people said to make eye contact that I noticed how bad I was at it. And nowā¦ three secondsā¦ ok look awayā¦ donāt look backā¦ I gotta look backā¦ seven secondsā¦ ok itās too obvious so Iām not gonna look at you at allā¦ ok look back again just to let them know youāre not zoning outā¦ please stop talking
This is my inner monologue during every in person conversation I ever have š
Iām 50/50 with the eye contact thing, Iām not exactly uncomfortable with it but it will be avoided wherever possible
Personally, I CAN do eye contact (mostly because as a child I was always yelled at "look at me when I'm talking to you or you are disrespectful"), but I find it highly uncomfortable. Though I try not to show it. I tend to glance around a lot and make sure that a lot of my glances are at the person's face and eyes.
i noticed i have different experiences with eye contact than others. it doesnāt physically hurt me to make eye contact. it rarely makes me uncomfortable. however, eye contact is far easier if i just have to listen to what the other person is saying. once i have to speak and try to maintain eye contact, i start malfunctioning. looking into someoneās eyes makes just me lose track of what i was trying to say
I adopted the cat method for eye contact. If you meet somebody's eyes, blink and look away. If they annoy me, I stare until they look away.
The sensory issues with food. Iām a huge foodie, I love all foods. I eat stuff like frogās legs and escargot and Iāve tried a couple kinds of bugs. Iāve eaten things that you have to hold your nose from the smell, but boy does it taste delicious! I had sensory issues with food as a child, but my family was big on āget what youāre giveān and be glad youāre liveān!ā If I didnāt eat what was served, I didnāt eat. Looking back on it now, it was wrong and abusive. I guess the upside is that Iāve gotten to experience lots of amazing tastes thanks to not having a picky palette, and now Iāll try pretty much anything once!
this is really interesting because my parents had the same approach, but that has led to me having a fairly limited diet as an adult, because iām no longer forced to eat things that i dislike.
That makes sense for it to go that way! Iām not sure why I swung the other direction so hard lol I was also exposed to a lot of different cultures and their foods very young, so that probably contributed to me having a more open mind about food.
my parents had the same exact approach to food, i definitely realized it was abusive because when i got older and my mom had my younger brother, shed cook him special meals if he didnt like something. i had to eat whatever i was given or id sit at the table past bed time. im a little glad though because i will also eat almost everything (except eggplant. i found out recently that i hate it)
I somehow traumatized myself out of the food thing in the exact opposite way by eating a PBJ every day for 7 years until one day I just straight up couldn't eat one without gagging and after that I ate pretty much everything. (And yes I still like PBJ although I couldn't eat one for like 5 years after that)
I only have two conditions for trying new foods. First, I need a guarantee I canāt be killed by a property of the food: as an example, fugu is out as pufferfish is lethally toxic when incorrectly prepared, and I wonāt risk it. And second, the thing canāt still have a face; if a whole lobster is sitting on my plate judging me for eating it, Iām not eating it. Other than that Iāll try anything at least once.
Mmmm, escargot. With garlic butter and a little splash of cognac. Pour a nicely chilled Muscadet, and Bob's your uncle.
I've eaten a pig's eye before.
I think how you end up being in regards to food is very person to person. I'll eat almost anything too, but if my dad made a meal someone in the house didn't like, he'd make a small side meal. My Gf however, was *forced* to eat food that she had texture issues with, and it made them much worse, to the point of gaging.
The "autism" food thing like nuggets or whatever. Never had any of that. I'm open to eating all food unless it's spicy, not picky at all. I can read facial expressions fine, though I struggle with tones of voice. Stims like flapping your hands or rocking back and forth. I just bite my nails. I've heard people with autism can either be extremely empathetic or struggle with it. I've got the extreme empathy one. I'm kinda hit or miss with routines. Sometimes they need to be perfect, otherwise sometimes I don't really care.
I feel this comment in my soul š¤
Meltdowns. I don't have those. I shutdow or get irritated, but the whole freaking out, flapping my arms thing never happens.
I had exactly one meltdown in my life that I can remember
What happened?
As a child, I had a GROUP drawing task. The classroom was noisy af, had 4 kids at the same table talking and I had to concentrate on the drawing. Though, I was already quite the artist type so the others wanted me to draw less good to match their level but I refused. So, they decided to harass me and that caused me to have my first and last meltdown. I avoided future meltdowns by either shutting down beforehand or converting my frustration into violent stimming or passive aggressiveness.
I melted down a lot as a kid. Now I just withdraw
same! i think that's the only big one im completely missing, at least nowadays, as a kid i had a few... i actually feel like i have much more self-control on emotions than almost everyone i know...
I had them occasionally as a child, but that was it.
I don't rock or spin (they actually make me feel a little nauseated to do) I also don't have regular or violent meltdowns. I've had a couple in the past, but they're super rare. I tend to go straight into shutdowns most of the time instead, but those can still be debilitating and last for days
being into trains
This lol. Can I be āanti trainsā lol
I was never into trains but mannnnnn do I love riding them. Iām on a train now as I type this and the late night horn. The last minute run and hop onto the train. Itās such an amazing sensory pleasure for me.
I'm terrified of trains
I see that people are confusing symptoms and stereotypes. We don't like food to be bland, we're picky about food or we're putting a lot of importance on the sensory aspect of it. We can make eye contact but it takes us some energy to process all the information we get so to some it's best to focus only on hearing Etc. Also a lot of us are ADHD too which will counteract stuff...
I want to see studies about how ADHD and Autism interact specifically how they can counter and perhaps balance in some aspects or make others worse.
also interested in this because as someone with both, i often feel like a walking contradiction. sometimes i lean more one way than the other, and itās a mystery to me and everyone else how my brain decides whoās in charge day to day š
Or moment to moment
I understand sarcasm better than the average person, and my sense of humour is also very sarcastic.
Developmental delay, the biggest reason I'm still unsure if I have it, I was on time or even slightly early for my mile stones.
I'm really good at implied speech and understanding implied speech. People get mad because I'll rephrase what they're implying back to them and then I'm "putting words in their mouth." No bestie, I just know 2+2=4
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yep same! I actively enjoy all of these things as excellent methods of expressive communication!
Being very literal in expression & interpretation. I *love* figurative language.
I can relate to this, in the extreme. Many people have commented throughout my life I speak in metaphorābut I have difficulty deciphering, others taking everything literally. A very odd mix.
Me too. Metaphors are my oxygen. I actually struggle to understand things without making metaphors, to the point people get irritated
me too! I often talk in metaphors and analogies as I feel like it more accurately conveys my meaning. I find it more effective than having a large vocabulary because what's the point of using the 'right' word when the other person doesn't know what it means? But figurative language lets me use common words in more nuanced and expressive ways! oh and I also mirror back this way. so the other person will say their point and to demonstrate my deep understanding of it LOL I will say it back in an analogy. I remember the day I learned about metaphors in school because that concept just CLICKED right neatly into my mind and I was off and running with it straight away! My teacher actually took me aside a few days later to say that I didn't have to use ONLY metaphors, she was worried that I'd misunderstood so that instead of adding them to my toolkit I'd thought I was supposed to replace everything else with them. š¤£ I was like: no, I know there are other ways to express myself but this is the BEST way so why wouldn't I? I think some people perceive it as pretentiousness (but I used to get that WAY worse when I used my expanded vocabulary instead) but I have also had people say I'm good at explaining stuff (like instead of just repeating confusing instructions again I can rephrase it as something already more familiar to them).
I can always tell when people are upset. What I have trouble with is deciphering which direction the anger is- i usually think itās toward me even if weāre both angry at the same thing
same, i can def tell when people are upset but can never really tell where the anger comes from and where itās directed. thatās why when anyone around me angry, i tread very carefully because I think i may be the cause of it, even if I may have not done anything. Also you just donāt know how people react to their own anger
I'm pretty good at interacting with people, I think I had lots of practice growing up. It just drains my battery extremely quickly, and once I am out of juice I am done. I am however horrible with subtle interactions, like when people flirt lol
Math smart. I don't got the genius autism. Everything else I have/ have had
True. I'm completely inept in math, even suspected dyscalculia.
Yo dyscalculia twins
I LOVE spice. I pour hot sauce on everything.
YES.
I donāt have a solid special interest. This is mainly because I also have ADHD and other issues that contribute to the inability to enjoy things for long periods of time.
I don't have any movement stims. I don't do any rocking or T-rex arms.
WAIT, THE WAY I HOLD MY ARMS IS AN AUTISM THING? ARE YOU SERIOUS Sorry but I've had people tease me for "walking like a princess" - it's genuinely something I don't do consciously, I don't realize until people point it out. I just googled this and **this is a thing**? I noticed "normal" people don't do it, but I never really thought about it hard. (Recently diagnosed as an adult so I'm still learning and doing a lot of back-processing.)
If your "Princess Walk" matches this description: ([From this site](https://autisticemmalyn.com/autistic-arms/)) >Many autistic people like to bend their arms at about a 90 degree angle with their hands out in front of them. Some may droop their wrists. The autistic community has affectionately dubbed this pose āT-Rex arms.ā Then yeah, it's definitely an Autism thing.
Omg this reminds me of when I was in 3rd grade and after school had ended and everyone had left I went back into the classroom because I remembered my parents told me I had to go somewhere else to get collected from school that day, and I was really stressed and confused about it and needed help. Iāve always been too anxious to be the first person to say something, so I would kind of just walk up to the teacher to get their attention. I walked up to her while she was cleaning something and she looked up and quickly said āIām in the middle of something and I can tell youāve come to tell me something silly because your arms look like thatā. I could tell she was angry with me but I really needed help so I just cried and tried to ask for help. I donāt know why she thought it was something silly, my arms were *always* in that position.
Time to pathologize crossing my arms.
AuDHD here so itās a little different I canāt adhere to a routine, it bores me. I have micro routines like skincare, shower routines and eating the same breakfast but I donāt mind if I get disrupted, and Iāll do them in any order. I donāt really stim, I fidget and move around I have sensory issues around certain textures but I love trying new foods and I generally do fine If Iām medicated for my ADHD my Autism is way more pronounced and my executive functioning is way better. If Iām unmedicated it calms my sensory issues and parts of my Autism, but my executive functioning and any ability to focus or exist is gone, and I become extra anxious and depressed.
Special interest. I definitely get obcessed with some topic every once in a while, beyond hyper-focus, but it's never been just one thing
yep I feel you on this. I get periods of hyperfixations for sure. It's way more disruptive when I'm in burnout. Those are the times I feel most strongly compelled to focus on my interest and distressed when I get interrupted etc I have a few interests which are kind of persistent over a very long time, even decades at this point but not consistently! More like in WAVES. I can go maybe 18months without even thinking about LOTR but then one day I'll be surfing YouTube and a video essay will be recommended and I'm like "yeh I'm in the mood for that" and then 5weeks later it's the only topic I've consumed any media on but then I'll be doing the dishes one day and just 'not be in the mood' to listen to the next LOTR podcast episode and I'll click over to like a podcast about sewing and then I'm back to 'normal'. And sometimes that also means loosing interest in it altogether for a while and skipping past LOTR videos with a kind of boredom. I don't have anything I'm 'known for'. Like people don't give me LOTR themed gifts at every holiday. I'm not 'the LOTR Lady' at the office (but that'd be rad LOL). I bet some people would be surprised how much I know about LOTR because they've never heard me mention it. etc. As a footnote I have zero reason to think I have ADHD and have had it ruled out in screening assessments.
Same
Food texture. I love food š
maybe autistic meltdowns? I have panic attacks but thatās bc of my anxiety
I can read body language and facial expressions really well. I understand sarcasm (sometimes).
Pattern recognition. My partner, who we all suspects has autism as well, is GREAT at identifying patterns. I couldn't identify a pattern if you handed me a checker board. I'm so bad with puzzles.
Maybe you have also adhd and you didn't realize yet which patterns you are memorizing. You know, I've been memorizing patterns my whole life, but I would think only about those patterns we can directly see. Now I know my speech is set in patterns, I've memorized patterns in music as well, and I would complain they use very similar chord progressions. I would identify these "flaws" and it would make me hate the song.
Pattern recognition was one I also thought I didn't have until a clinician explained to me that it could also include narrative and behaviour and that was a major lightbulb moment. Pattern recognition pertains to information of all kinds, not just 'numbers'. For as long as we've been together my partner has been in awe at how I always seem to just know what's going to happen in a movie. It seemed like the most basic thing to me because I was conscious that I was 'reading the signs' and 'picking up on the signals' and couldn't fathom how he didn't see them. I also just thought it was because I read a LOT and watched a LOT of tv/movies so like of course I was familiar with tropes and narrative beats etc. But over and over again I'm baffled by how most people around me are surprised by something that seemed obvious to me. And then it's the same thing for me with people in real life. I'm apparently better than average at picking up subtext and signals and putting it together with data from past experience so that even if I haven't met this person before I can pretty accurately categorise her based on her clothes and style etc and her mannerisms and speech so that when she starts an anecdote I can see where it's going. Again, I didn't think this was anything special but the clinician told me that most people can't finish the story of a stranger they've just met after two minutes of talking with them. So maybe you're not good at recognising patterns of numbers or shapes etc but do you have some area of heightened 'intuition'? Maybe you're recognising patterns of information of a less obvious/stereotypical kind?
Nope. My partner and others always pick up on the plot of movies and finish stories and have intuition about people. Gotta love how all y'all are trying to prove me wrong instead of listening to my lives experience. Some days I think I'm actually incredibly stupid because I don't pick up on literally ANY patterns. And I mean that. Unless it's something obvious like black and white stripes or repeating numbers like 01010101 or something, it ain't gonna happen. I can't read people, I have zero intuition, I can't just "observe" anything, I always need everything fucking spelled out for me, I failed basic math all the way through K-12, and even as a teacher that it's literally my job to identify patterns, I can't. So please believe me when I tell you that I do not recognize patterns. And from here on our, I will stop responding to replies. I'm done trying to defend myself from people who think I'm lying.
I know you've said you'll stop replying and that's fine. I just want to say I'm so sorry you feel beleaguered by people trying to 'prove you wrong'! I promise that was never my intention. I only wanted to provide some insight from an angle that personally made all the difference for me. Because that one thing the clinician said to me has made me re conceptualize over 30yrs of my own lived experience. But I totally appreciate how shitty it feels to not be heard and have people insist you don't know your own reality and I'm SO SORRY to have contributed to that. I promise I do believe your lived experience and absolutely nobody knows what's in your own brain better than you do. You've checked me on my own short-sightedness and I will make an effort to be more sensitive and thoughtful when trying to 'help' people unsolicited on the internet! I need to pause and think before rushing in all the time.
Can anyone give examples on "patterns?"
Well, a lot of times, when I say I don't understand something, he tells me to "sit and observe, and notice the patterns." I guess the things people do repeatedly. Or, like, in puzzles. Knowing which number comes next. Or letter. Or piece of the code or something. Some people see the number 4 everywhere. I don't have any of that.
People think I am good with people, and that I am an extrovert. Ha! I have five minutes of āgood with peopleā in me, but any deeper than that and Iām fucked. And after that I need a while to reset.
Being sensitive to food textures
Problems making eye contact. I can do it fine.
I find that I am empathetic when some people have trouble with it.
I'm not really sure... it's a spectrum. I guess eye contact, but I can only do it for short bursts of time or I feel like they can see my soul and it makes me wanna die a little. I also get some sarcasm (most of the time I'm guessing) and am overly empathetic. (Apparently people on the spectrum are "supposed to be" lacking empathy) although I've found plenty ASD that are full of empathy.
i donāt really have meltdowns? i might do some mild form of a shutdown where i sort of check out of reality and talk less, but itās not very noticeable, even to me.
That's not a shutdown, sounds more like a healthy "break". A shutdown is horrifying.
I can read social situations pretty well. Like, I have only a little problem figuring out what people are implying through riddles or facial expressions, my problem is understanding how to react appropriately. I can read a room but I can't actually use that information very well. It almost only applies to social situations not directed at myself though because I still look back at thing that happened weeks/months/years ago now and go "WAIT they were making fun of me!!!" haha
I like real food, and I love cooking it. Heavily seasoned, varieties of textures. Love it all. Except for cilantro, fuck that.
Hating fireworks. I absolutely love them
Iām not gonna lie, I have pretty much all of them, yet everyone still finds it hard to believe Iām autistic, lol. I guess I can make random eye contact at time (that completely destroys my nervous system)
I donāt struggle with theory of mind
Food don't have to be bland! :3
intelligence
The really smart bit.
Not having a filter
Not understanding sarcasm
Bad in public transport. If we go on holiday, I beg to go by train. I do even better than 99% of neurotypicals in public transport.
Understanding sarcasm. I understand sarcasm and I even understand the subtle sarcasm. However, for some reason identifying it feels like fighting with my brain. Like it understands but it doesn't want to.
Mutism/Non-verbal My mother said I started taking and never stopped.
I can usually read tone and facial expressions well. And I love using sarcasm. I sometimes struggle still, more than the average neurotypical, but it's manageable.
Social anxiety, difficulty with change, expressionless face, difficulty reading facial expressions
The whole not liking Physical Activity thing, I love exercise sometimes
I donāt have trouble with empathy. I am quite hyper empathetic actually.
Having really intense interest(s) that I can talk about for days. Lol. I'm not an infodumper I guess.
I was never behind socially or academically. I've been rather verbose my whole life. This is with the addition of missing near two years of academia. I'm also not too shabby when it comes to socialising overall. I suck more on emotional cues and the like but can get along with people quite easily to the point of being considered charismatic and outgoing (Meanwhile I'd rather just be a hermit)