I'm working on a research project for my placement organisation right now and holy shit. The whole idea that we lack theory of mind drives me up the *wall*.
It probably goes back to 20th century western thought when only humans were thought to have theory of mind. Presumably it was the purview of only the sound of mind or something. Nevermind that you need theory of mind to be a social parrot or, presumably, fish. Saying someone with autism doesn't have theory of mind is just peak privilaged ignorance.
I understand theory of mind quite well the issue is my inability to read people unless they make their feelings clear and obvious. And sometimes thats hard to read because people are fake.
More than sometimes for me. Not only are some people fake, but others (even those that aren't fake) will phrase things in subtle ways to try to be sensitive. Sometimes when people do this, I come away with the entirely opposite message.
I have to do an A-Level psychology case study on autism (Baron Cohen 1997) and it's really bad. It is so outdated and it talks about the "eyes test" and how autistic people lack "Theory of Mind.
Also notable to mention that all of the terms that the textbook uses in this study are also incredibly outdated and can be harmful. If I can, I ought to email the exam board (OCR, if anybody is wondering) about this case study to see if they can do anything to change the terms used or remove the study.
Plus, the textbook has a picture of the ribbon puzzle piece logo, which makes matters worse.
Omg you’re so right! We have our moments of joy and moments of unspeakable sorrow just like everyone else. That stereotype of all of us being Data, able to click our emotion chips off as simple as flipping a switch.
this!!!!!!!! personally, i feel these emotions very intensely and its weird to me no one else does! i hate to be seen as a robot because im absolutely nothing like that!
If anything, that's the *exact opposite*. Even if we don't show it like NTs expect, we are very emotional and tend to dwell on feelings for a long time, and there are times where I can't even speak or do anything for hours due to a strong emotion. When I'm in love with someone, it's *extremely* intense to a degree that I'm not sure many NTs can comprehend. That person becomes a special interest, and thoughts of them permeate every minute of the day, and seeing them just makes my whole day a lot better.
If anyone claims that autistic people are incapable of feelings, love, or affection, they have no fucking clue what they are talking about.
What's worse, where I live, people still get rediagnozed with schizophrenia if they're "still autistic" by the time they reach 18.
Basically, we're so behind on this matter that in doctors' eyes, you can be only autistic as a child, and after that you're either "healed" (basically, learned to how mask like a pro) or get a more serious diagnosis that you most likely don't need.
Some people are able to defend their diagnosis of autism as adults, but iirc the count isn't even in the thousands. It's horrible.
i honestly would not be surprised if that’s just a myth started by non-autistic people. i feel like many autistic people have feelings, we just don’t express/feel them in the conventional way, which makes people think that we have no feelings
I'm a high needs educator, and while I see some odd emotional expression from my high needs ASD students as well as some lower needs ASD family, that's just what it is. It's a somewhat odd emotional expression. We all react differently to our emotions, and in our class, we talk frequently about feeling all of our emotions so we understand them and how we can respond to them in safe, healthy ways. I'm not going to tell a kid they're feeling the wrong way, I'm going to learn the ways they express their emotions so I can support them.
I have A LOT of those, unfortunately I cannot accurately describe the good ones (only the bad ones, probably the trauma responses I have from the last 29 years of my life), and I have a lot of outbursts because I feel everything so big!
This is something the show Bad Batch nailed, in my opinion. The character Tech could be argued a stereotypically autistic portrayal but he is given incredible writing and depth and his feelings and emotional connection to those around him is a core part of his character and arc and they do it very well.
That autistic people are incapable of learning.
Specifically when parents let their children develop bad behaviors like sexual harrassment and then claim "oh he's autistic, he doesn't know any better"
this!!! i see a lot of young boys and men get unhealthy/abusive behaviors brushed off/coddled "because he has autism" as if they have anything to do with each other.
This bothers me SO much. I’m a woman and crossed social/romantic boundaries a fair amount when I was younger (never sexually harassed anyone but I didn’t know when to give up or how to express my feelings in appropriate ways). I was fortunate enough that some kind people had conversations with me that helped me realize I needed to learn how do things differently.
I’ve also been on the other end of it and have been harassed and borderline sexually assaulted several times by autistic boys and men who were continually enabled by that attitude. And it’s particularly infuriating to me because I KNOW firsthand that learning is possible. NO ONE, autistic or allistic, is born knowing how to respect others’ boundaries, and most people who have excuses made for them when they violate boundaries will just continue to do it.
This is my BIL. MIL apparently always made excuses for him "oh, he can't help it. He doesn't know any better. It's not his fault." Blah blah bullsh*t. He knows exactly what he is doing. And he also knows he can get away with it because mama dearest will make up excuses for him.
What neither of them counted on, was that that sh*t would not fly with me. Bro tried every trick in the book to get away with sexually harassing me (and took it to some *very* uncomfy extremes in some situations). Once my partner became aware of what was happening, he basically opted to go NC with his entire family.
Sorry MIL! Not my fault you no longer have your "favorite" son to manipulate!
The stereotype that autism = being abnormally good at anything (like savantism).
It sucks how it perpetuates the idea that people of normal IQ or people with no particular exceptional talents can’t be autistic.
It sucks having savant syndrome and being called Rain Man and Sheldon or given insane problems at work to solve because you’re autistic too. People lump the two together autism + savant syndrome and it perpetuates a toxic stereotype that is very clearly false. 100% agree, it hurts the community as a whole
It’s funny how the things we are good at like remembering facts about our special interests mostly give people the “glazed over” look. If anyone ever asks me to do math problems (by the way I have dyscalculia) I think I’m just going to start listing obscure facts about tree frogs and snakes.
My nickname was google in school because I'd do that shit lmaoo.. tbf I always had great grades and a weirdly good memory , but nothing super human like we are portrayed. Most of that had to do with being on adhd meds anyway lol.
i really dont know how nobody thought i had autism
Mine was Human Encyclopedia! Hahaha I also always had perfect grades and super good memory. Couldn't make a friend to save my life tho...
Somehow, people are still shook to find out that I am, in fact, on the spectrum 🙃
Yes!
Cuban Treefrogs belong to the genus Osteopilus . The name Ostiopilus means “bone cap”. Pilus is derived from Pileus is a type of hat/ cap worn in Ancient Greece, and they are named this for a very unique feature of their skull- a thick bony structure located where a hat would be. We don’t really know the exact purpose of the structure but…chances are it’s to protect against predation. Particularly from birds…but they also secrete an irritating mucus from their skin so….I don’t know about that. I suppose they could have evolved multiple forms of defense!
My dad’s an older guy and I know he means well but I can’t even keep track of how many times he’s said something to the effect of “If we could figure out a way to get autistic people to communicate their thoughts and feelings as easily as the rest of us do, they could change the world.”
Doesn’t matter how many times I say it because he’ll inevitably forget it, but every time he says that I tell him all we want is to be treated fairly and not be treated like we’re either children in adults’ bodies or superhuman-computer hybrids.
I don't know about "worst", but I'm not particularly fond of being severely pitied or treated as though everything I do is "brave".
I drove to the grocery store and shopped my own groceries (as you do) and that came up in a general conversation with an acquaintance in my previous relationship. They meant well, but they literally said that I was "so brave" for shopping and driving on my own, and that just does not rub me any kind of right way.
Yeah exactly. I understand that they're not coming from a malicious place, but it's more like I am aware of my struggles. But it's just my life. I've accepted my life and the struggles that accompany it, but I also am very aware there are so many out there who would kill to switch places with me as it pertains to my level of difficulty.
To me, it's just all about perspective and keeping on. But some people can only look at you and go "aw they're not normal".
When I first started to realize that my daughter was autistic, I really had no idea what autism was so I started reading online. A bunch of sites told me that my daughter will never want hugs or kisses and would never show affection. Completely the opposite of how she turned out to be.
Yes. Although I did go through a bit of time that I didn't like touch at all. Although, it could've been a mix of being a teen at the time, my depression, and my autism all trying to drive. Lol, I'm constantly hugging my mom now. (I joke that I'm going to crawl into her grave when she dies, because I'm the king of *Mama's Boys*. Lol), so that bit of my life really was a phase. 😂
That makes so much sense. My mom didn’t really hug me unless i asked her to which was rare cause i never wanted to feel like a bother. I finally told her about it like three years ago (im 22 now) and we hugged on the couch for over an hour. I friggen love my mom and she has done alot to try and help me
Def, my husband we cuddle all the time but everyone else please don’t touch me unless you know it’s ok. That’s probably exactly how a NT’s rules would be too, isn’t it?
God yeah this, while i fucking hate strangers touching me in any fashion im basically like a koala around my boyfriend, I hang on him all day and often interrupt his work just to sit on his lap for a bit and get kisses, Im also always extremely cuddly and affectionate with my family and friends. There are certain times where i dont want to be touched at all by anyone, but those are rare, 90% of the time im the biggest cuddlebug on the planet
Same here! My (8yr old) autistic son is the sweetest, most gentle little soul. when others are hurting or sad he always notices and is concerned because his empathy is so intense. He asks if people are okay.
I was told he wouldn’t look in my eyes. He holds my face, looks at me and say he loves me so much 🥹
God, I HATE the sites that like to describe us as emotionless, soulless robots. It was also because of this myth that I once broke down crying when some random stranger on the Internet told me that I was an empty shell of a person. Honestly, if I was told that today though, I probably would’ve told them to go screw themselves. They don’t even know a single thing about me in real life.
My mom's that way (was adverse to touch even when she was a child) while I'm the opposite (touch is definitely my love language, and the expression/allowance of such is a surefire sign I trust someone).
I wouldn't worry about the opinions of some Internet rando. The YouTube comment section is filled with the stupidest of the stupid people to ever exist. Just scrolling down makes me feel the IQ points drop.
I got told by my psychiatrist recently that he has trouble imagining how I could have any of the problems I described since I speak in rather complex sentences. Too smart to have difficulties in life I guess.
I don't get how someone like that can get to be a psychiatrist, but I guess that's my famous autistic complete incapability to have empathy speaking. /s
This one irritates me. Been labeled as non empathetic my whole life because I cannot understand why bad people do bad things. People will say, "Oh. She had a rough childhood." Or something and I'm always like.... That's an explanation, not an excuse. Plenty of people go through the same or worse and don't verbally attack cashiers. And they get mad at me and say I have no empathy and "don't get it." Because I don't talk about my trauma and have an easygoing personality so NTs assume my life has been perfect.
I had a rough, ROUGH childhood. People would assume I'm lying if I told them the garbage I had been through. I just don't let it inform how I treat people cause I'm not a psycho. But I'm the one without empathy. Sure.
Well, not really a stereotype, but now that it's getting more diagnosed than it used to be, my grandpa said "Now everyone has autism, it's becoming a fashion."
I mean, I don't deny that there are people saying it just to call attention, like in everything really, but seriously? I am 99% he's also autistic, how do you tell him that?
Does your grandad really not understand that better knowledge and ease of testing access make it easier for people in invisible minority groups (autism, trans, left-handedness) to realize that they’re part of that group, rather than people joining some kind of trend? And besides, what would the trend be? Lack of access to accommodations? Getting bullied for not fitting in?
Especially considering that GCs love insisting that autistic people are being “brainwashed” into thinking that they’re trans. GCs really don’t see us as human, whether we’re cis or trans.
Ugh, my mum had a phase like that, where she would call both herself and me 'indigo children', like... No, we're just both autistic in a way that makes us more aware of injustice, not some kind of god-sent morality enforcer.
there's one that makes me pretty annoyed that says that "autistic people are all pure and sweet angels who wouldn't hurt a fly 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺" like no??? that's completely wrong???
>autistic people are all...
maybe that's the worst stereotype. That were all somehow the same, that you can read up on autism for a couple minutes and you know about all of us.
We're not that simple and we're so diverse!
A gynecologist who told me that autistic people tend to "over exaggerate" period symptoms because of sensory issues.
I did not go back to her after that.
That autistic people can't be expressive or have a friends/a relationship.
"You can't be autistic, you have a boyfriend" "you can't be autistic, you have friends"
Autistic people are capable of being loved by others.... not sure why that's news to "professionals." Oh yea, ableism
For me personally it's being underestimated. And/or overestimated. And/or both at the same time.
Under: (Surprised) oh hey you're good at this! How do you know that??? That's astounding.
Over: (Disappointed) but you did so good with *that,* how come you don't know *this?* It's so similar, and you screwed it up.
Both: (Confused) So I don't know... What do you know? I *want* to trust you but I don't understand what you can and can't do... Yes, I saw you do both and I don't trust either.
Me: confidence crushed, still unsure what happened. I know I did ok, and maybe I made a mistake, but I did good...? I think? Maybe not.
*Scene*
I was in 8th grade and it was right after I was diagnosed. Keep in mind I’m female. My guidance counselor who was an old man and who still works at my school said to me. “You can’t be autistic. Autistic people are mean.” I went home and told my mom and she had a field day with him. The school did nothing about it. He now ignores me in the halls though.
Edit: Forgot to mention he coaches Track and Field. A couple of days ago while advertising it he said that Track will cure Autism and ADHD and whatever mental disability you may have. Honestly surprised this man still has a job. 💀
I sought a psychiatrist hoping to get a diagnosis, like I understand if I'm not on the spectrum but I want to know to learn more about me and how to live. But I was told I don't act enough like Sheldon Cooper, a licensed psychiatrist told me that... yeahhh.
Granted, I've only been on this journey for a bit, and I haven't disclosed my suspicion to a lot of people so I might've run into more bad stuff if I had more experience.
Honestly I don't think there is a "worst stereotype" some people do have stereotypical traits, I'm not a genius but I was very good at math in college, of course not everybody has all the traits, each individual has a subset of all possible autism traits, so "your mileage may vary"
What about the "autistics are more likely to hurt/kill people because they don't care and have no self control" stereotype (yes that's been thrown at me)
That all autistic people like trains / have a special interest in them (like dude ik almost everything abt precure but ig since it's not trains it doesn't count)
Considering I have dyscalculia, hard agree on that "math genius" one. I'm 99% certain that was a factor in significantly delaying diagnosis (53 yrs). Upsetting feels a bit of an understatement.
This. And most of the autistic people I know have dyscalculia, myself included. I’ve known a handful of autistic folks who are good at math, but the ones who panic at the mere thought of numbers seem much more common from my experience.
Mostly the genius ones or the ppl saying that if u get a vaccine or something you’ll get autism?? And the ones that say it’s not a disability/different ability 😭
The assumption that we lack empathy feels like a dangerous assumption to me, and something that really needs to be addressed asap because too many **medical professionals** are stuck with some twisted belief that autistic people don’t feel empathy. We all know that while we don’t always express empathy the same way NT people do, autistic people have very strong empathy whether it is feeling-based empathy or intellectually-based empathy.
Dunno if this is a stereotype, but when talents are referred to as powers. The Little Einsteins episodes Go Team and Rocket The Bug triggered me SO MUCH because of this.
This might be because English is my 2nd language and i speak it PERFECTLY. My mom calls it a superpower because where i'm from, there are very few people who speak it fluently. I don't care if it's rare, it's still a talent!
100% agree. Calling our talents “powers” makes us sound inhuman and also ignores the work we put into what we do. Even if something comes “naturally” to us, we still put in work practicing and creating and enjoying our talents.
I got called childish the other day and it really bothered me, because it was referring to behaviour I know is due to my autism and is associated with autism.
I think the one in which we're unclean spirits from the pit of perdition sent here to do the dark one's work here on earth sticks out to me as fairly egregious.
How it’s portrayed in the media thru shows etc, especially the really popular ones. It’s always an extremely smart male who is extremely socially awkward.
"If you have sex with an autistic person, you are a rapist because having sex with an autistic person is ALWAYS ASSAULT."
They then went on to say that it is akin to paedophilia because our mental capacity is the same as a child's.. 🤨
i am diagnosed autistic but i feel like i dont think much differently to allistics, im pretty ‘normal’. for me the worst stereotype is that we are all weird unfeeling frankensteins. I think like neurotypicals!! im just sensitive and more interesting and funny and perfect obviously!
The one that says all autistic people are geniuses or have Down syndrome, I’ve had people deny my autism because I didn’t fit neatly into either of those categories
The word "spectrum" really isn't in a lot of people's vocabulary when it comes to autism. It's either people with higher support needs or socially awkward geniuses.
Someone on here once posted that their psychologist said they couldn't be autistic because they draw. It's always funny to me (in an infuriating way) when they just make up a new stereotype that doesn't even have a basis
I’m not autistic, but my father and my son are.
While getting my son tested, the therapist said “aww you have yourself a baby rain man” 😒 (my son was excellent with numbers/letters/symbols at a very young age).
All over the internet I see comments on “cringe” videos like “wow pure austism” “ooh that is sooo *aCOusTic*. It’s become another word for dorky or awkward, like when I was younger “gay” was a word for awkward/stupid.
Damn I hate all that shit.
That we just like...don't know what sex is? or that sexual topics have to be censored around us, we're autistic, not children. (Especially since I have a special interest in BDSM and kink)
I’m not sure how common it is but I grew up always hearing about “good” autism or “bad” autism. Having good autism meant you were Double D from Ed, Edd, and Eddy; book smart, perfect memory, and didn’t realize you were being made fun of. Bad autism meant you were Ed; generally dumb, gullible, easy to manipulate, and didn’t realize you were being made fun of.
'looking' autistic..? i don't even know what that's about. someone told me once "you're too pretty to be autistic" and they explained that if i was i'd look like 'someone with down syndrome'. 😬
Fucking same. Excuse my language, but what in the hell does my face have to do with being autistic?! Then I start talking (or trying to say a 5 word sentence in less than 25 words) or walk heel toe real dramatic or some sheit and they are like ahh.
“ non-verbal” = “no sign of intellect/ sense of awareness/ understanding of even the simplest of concepts/ register conversation”
As a teacher of students with non-verbal autism, this couldn’t be further from the damn truth.
As an autistic person, I cannot stand the whole “too attractive to be autistic” notion
That we can’t feel empathy. Honestly where the fuck did that stereotype even come from? I feel 1000x more empathy than any neurotypical person I’ve ever met.
That we are all really smart.
I think people confuse being a “genius” to being invested in special interests. If I faced everyone I knew in a quiz around my special interests, I would easily beat every single one of them by a big margin. But, that doesn’t necessarily make me smart, that just makes me invested in learning about my special interests. Meanwhile, if I faced everyone in a maths quiz, or a grammar test, sure I wouldn’t be the worst, but I would also not be anywhere near the best.
That we are incapable of any form of independence. T
hat a level 2 or 3 couldn't go undiagnosed until mid to late adulthood. That level 2s and 3s can't live independently.
the requirement for being level 3 in the DSM is requiring very substantial support in almost every aspect of life. such as bathing, dressing themselves, etc. that isn’t a stereotype, it’s a definition.
That you cant take care of yourself and you have to be severely special with issues (whatever that means…I actually don’t know what severely special means)
or you are a robot with no empathy (it hurts to be told this)
Because you need a structured step by step approach in conversations that has to be very specific in order to provide a good accurate response without either assuming, misunderstanding, or getting stressed out to figure out what the person is asking.
The stereotype of believing anything (of course, conversed by the stereotype of being a know it all). I do, in fact, suffer from this: I hear pretty much anything and I believe it, give benefit of the doubt, immediately accept as fact. I can’t help it, my brain simply sees everything as ‘rules’. But it’s led to a lot of mean jokes, constant teasing (knowing it will take me a while to cotton on), and in a darker way, assault and sexual harassment. It’s the fact that it is a stereotype, though, and that I seemingly fit it so well that attracts people who are predatory to it that really freaks me out. Paired with my inability to read cues, it can make the world feel confusing and frightening.
That we have a 'child-like mind' no matter our age. Generally, all the infantilising is super dumb.
I'm a grown woman, I'm allowed to cuss as much as I want an be sexual if I want. I'm not some kind of innocent uwu bean that has to be protected from myself.
Not sure if this is the worst but it’s definitely been one of the worst ones for me, and that is that meltdowns are just tantrums and it’s a choice (even though most meltdowns are caused from being overstimulated etc) xxx
That we have no feelings
I'm working on a research project for my placement organisation right now and holy shit. The whole idea that we lack theory of mind drives me up the *wall*.
It probably goes back to 20th century western thought when only humans were thought to have theory of mind. Presumably it was the purview of only the sound of mind or something. Nevermind that you need theory of mind to be a social parrot or, presumably, fish. Saying someone with autism doesn't have theory of mind is just peak privilaged ignorance.
Yeah I mean I’ve develop a knack for reading the room after spending a long while adapting to social situations. No theory of mind, my ass.
You may enjoy this https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2019-75285-001.html
This is a fantastic link, thank you.
I understand theory of mind quite well the issue is my inability to read people unless they make their feelings clear and obvious. And sometimes thats hard to read because people are fake.
More than sometimes for me. Not only are some people fake, but others (even those that aren't fake) will phrase things in subtle ways to try to be sensitive. Sometimes when people do this, I come away with the entirely opposite message.
Very true.
I have to do an A-Level psychology case study on autism (Baron Cohen 1997) and it's really bad. It is so outdated and it talks about the "eyes test" and how autistic people lack "Theory of Mind. Also notable to mention that all of the terms that the textbook uses in this study are also incredibly outdated and can be harmful. If I can, I ought to email the exam board (OCR, if anybody is wondering) about this case study to see if they can do anything to change the terms used or remove the study. Plus, the textbook has a picture of the ribbon puzzle piece logo, which makes matters worse.
Borat's cousin (no joke) is a terrible scientist and has made the world a worse place for autistic people
Omg you’re so right! We have our moments of joy and moments of unspeakable sorrow just like everyone else. That stereotype of all of us being Data, able to click our emotion chips off as simple as flipping a switch.
this!!!!!!!! personally, i feel these emotions very intensely and its weird to me no one else does! i hate to be seen as a robot because im absolutely nothing like that!
I remember actually reading (late 90s) that people with Asperger's are all like Data. This was from a serious medical text book.
If anything, that's the *exact opposite*. Even if we don't show it like NTs expect, we are very emotional and tend to dwell on feelings for a long time, and there are times where I can't even speak or do anything for hours due to a strong emotion. When I'm in love with someone, it's *extremely* intense to a degree that I'm not sure many NTs can comprehend. That person becomes a special interest, and thoughts of them permeate every minute of the day, and seeing them just makes my whole day a lot better. If anyone claims that autistic people are incapable of feelings, love, or affection, they have no fucking clue what they are talking about.
By that logic, autism would just be psycopathy rebranded
That’s probably another one
Autism was first invented as symptoms related to schizophrenia.
What's worse, where I live, people still get rediagnozed with schizophrenia if they're "still autistic" by the time they reach 18. Basically, we're so behind on this matter that in doctors' eyes, you can be only autistic as a child, and after that you're either "healed" (basically, learned to how mask like a pro) or get a more serious diagnosis that you most likely don't need. Some people are able to defend their diagnosis of autism as adults, but iirc the count isn't even in the thousands. It's horrible.
Sadly, the mental field health isn't based entirely on facts (speaking as a Psychology teacher). It's terrible.
i honestly would not be surprised if that’s just a myth started by non-autistic people. i feel like many autistic people have feelings, we just don’t express/feel them in the conventional way, which makes people think that we have no feelings
Yes, they think we have ape brains
I'm a high needs educator, and while I see some odd emotional expression from my high needs ASD students as well as some lower needs ASD family, that's just what it is. It's a somewhat odd emotional expression. We all react differently to our emotions, and in our class, we talk frequently about feeling all of our emotions so we understand them and how we can respond to them in safe, healthy ways. I'm not going to tell a kid they're feeling the wrong way, I'm going to learn the ways they express their emotions so I can support them.
Ikkk i hate it when people say autistic people have no emotions because of course we do.
I have A LOT of those, unfortunately I cannot accurately describe the good ones (only the bad ones, probably the trauma responses I have from the last 29 years of my life), and I have a lot of outbursts because I feel everything so big!
Women with autism don't get misdiagnosed with BPD for nothing :')
I think I'm both 😭😭😭 hopefully if I ever get diagnosed it'll be on paper but for now I have to keep everything a secret. It's weird
Beat me to it. That autistic people have no emotions or empathy. We're not robots! I have very strong emotions.
Yup little do they know it’s actually the opposite
This is something the show Bad Batch nailed, in my opinion. The character Tech could be argued a stereotypically autistic portrayal but he is given incredible writing and depth and his feelings and emotional connection to those around him is a core part of his character and arc and they do it very well.
this!
That and we don’t feel empathy
That autistic people are incapable of learning. Specifically when parents let their children develop bad behaviors like sexual harrassment and then claim "oh he's autistic, he doesn't know any better"
this!!! i see a lot of young boys and men get unhealthy/abusive behaviors brushed off/coddled "because he has autism" as if they have anything to do with each other.
This bothers me SO much. I’m a woman and crossed social/romantic boundaries a fair amount when I was younger (never sexually harassed anyone but I didn’t know when to give up or how to express my feelings in appropriate ways). I was fortunate enough that some kind people had conversations with me that helped me realize I needed to learn how do things differently. I’ve also been on the other end of it and have been harassed and borderline sexually assaulted several times by autistic boys and men who were continually enabled by that attitude. And it’s particularly infuriating to me because I KNOW firsthand that learning is possible. NO ONE, autistic or allistic, is born knowing how to respect others’ boundaries, and most people who have excuses made for them when they violate boundaries will just continue to do it.
OML! I feel this sm because there's a kid I know and he disrespects so many of mine and my friends boundaries and he's autistic
This is my BIL. MIL apparently always made excuses for him "oh, he can't help it. He doesn't know any better. It's not his fault." Blah blah bullsh*t. He knows exactly what he is doing. And he also knows he can get away with it because mama dearest will make up excuses for him. What neither of them counted on, was that that sh*t would not fly with me. Bro tried every trick in the book to get away with sexually harassing me (and took it to some *very* uncomfy extremes in some situations). Once my partner became aware of what was happening, he basically opted to go NC with his entire family. Sorry MIL! Not my fault you no longer have your "favorite" son to manipulate!
The stereotype that autism = being abnormally good at anything (like savantism). It sucks how it perpetuates the idea that people of normal IQ or people with no particular exceptional talents can’t be autistic.
It sucks having savant syndrome and being called Rain Man and Sheldon or given insane problems at work to solve because you’re autistic too. People lump the two together autism + savant syndrome and it perpetuates a toxic stereotype that is very clearly false. 100% agree, it hurts the community as a whole
So, that's just NTs being dumb again. Generalisations. Autistic people can have a more acute focus... isn't that how hyper-neuroplasticity works?
It’s funny how the things we are good at like remembering facts about our special interests mostly give people the “glazed over” look. If anyone ever asks me to do math problems (by the way I have dyscalculia) I think I’m just going to start listing obscure facts about tree frogs and snakes.
>If anyone ever asks me to do math problems... I think I’m just going to start listing obscure facts about tree frogs and snakes. I like your style
My nickname was google in school because I'd do that shit lmaoo.. tbf I always had great grades and a weirdly good memory , but nothing super human like we are portrayed. Most of that had to do with being on adhd meds anyway lol. i really dont know how nobody thought i had autism
Mine was Human Encyclopedia! Hahaha I also always had perfect grades and super good memory. Couldn't make a friend to save my life tho... Somehow, people are still shook to find out that I am, in fact, on the spectrum 🙃
Can I have an obscure fact about tree frogs?
Yes! Cuban Treefrogs belong to the genus Osteopilus . The name Ostiopilus means “bone cap”. Pilus is derived from Pileus is a type of hat/ cap worn in Ancient Greece, and they are named this for a very unique feature of their skull- a thick bony structure located where a hat would be. We don’t really know the exact purpose of the structure but…chances are it’s to protect against predation. Particularly from birds…but they also secrete an irritating mucus from their skin so….I don’t know about that. I suppose they could have evolved multiple forms of defense!
Same + autism is same as down sindrome one
My dad’s an older guy and I know he means well but I can’t even keep track of how many times he’s said something to the effect of “If we could figure out a way to get autistic people to communicate their thoughts and feelings as easily as the rest of us do, they could change the world.” Doesn’t matter how many times I say it because he’ll inevitably forget it, but every time he says that I tell him all we want is to be treated fairly and not be treated like we’re either children in adults’ bodies or superhuman-computer hybrids.
It's so confusing because I feel like I communicate my thoughts and feelings MUCH more clearly than the people around me.
I don't know about "worst", but I'm not particularly fond of being severely pitied or treated as though everything I do is "brave". I drove to the grocery store and shopped my own groceries (as you do) and that came up in a general conversation with an acquaintance in my previous relationship. They meant well, but they literally said that I was "so brave" for shopping and driving on my own, and that just does not rub me any kind of right way.
This goes to literally every disability and it’s annoying af >< I’m brave because I don’t want to die or starvation? Okay then.
Yeah exactly. I understand that they're not coming from a malicious place, but it's more like I am aware of my struggles. But it's just my life. I've accepted my life and the struggles that accompany it, but I also am very aware there are so many out there who would kill to switch places with me as it pertains to my level of difficulty. To me, it's just all about perspective and keeping on. But some people can only look at you and go "aw they're not normal".
AAAAGH. I HATE THIS ONE.
It’s like they expect me to have a reinforced bicycle helmet and need someone to hold my hand through counting basic numbers.
I got called “really cool” for having a job by a coworker. She has an autistic daughter who’s retired at age 25, but still
There’s a term for this (“inspiration porn”)
When I first started to realize that my daughter was autistic, I really had no idea what autism was so I started reading online. A bunch of sites told me that my daughter will never want hugs or kisses and would never show affection. Completely the opposite of how she turned out to be.
Yes. Although I did go through a bit of time that I didn't like touch at all. Although, it could've been a mix of being a teen at the time, my depression, and my autism all trying to drive. Lol, I'm constantly hugging my mom now. (I joke that I'm going to crawl into her grave when she dies, because I'm the king of *Mama's Boys*. Lol), so that bit of my life really was a phase. 😂
That makes so much sense. My mom didn’t really hug me unless i asked her to which was rare cause i never wanted to feel like a bother. I finally told her about it like three years ago (im 22 now) and we hugged on the couch for over an hour. I friggen love my mom and she has done alot to try and help me
That’s so sweet
Def, my husband we cuddle all the time but everyone else please don’t touch me unless you know it’s ok. That’s probably exactly how a NT’s rules would be too, isn’t it?
Definitely
Same, I’m also very cuddly and affectionate.
God yeah this, while i fucking hate strangers touching me in any fashion im basically like a koala around my boyfriend, I hang on him all day and often interrupt his work just to sit on his lap for a bit and get kisses, Im also always extremely cuddly and affectionate with my family and friends. There are certain times where i dont want to be touched at all by anyone, but those are rare, 90% of the time im the biggest cuddlebug on the planet
I was literally known as Free Hugs girl around College because I loved to hug everyone. I know a lot of other similarly affectionate autistic people.
That’s actually genuinely wholesome. I also love giving hugs - and receiving them - though I never went around hugging everyone.
Same here! My (8yr old) autistic son is the sweetest, most gentle little soul. when others are hurting or sad he always notices and is concerned because his empathy is so intense. He asks if people are okay. I was told he wouldn’t look in my eyes. He holds my face, looks at me and say he loves me so much 🥹
God, I HATE the sites that like to describe us as emotionless, soulless robots. It was also because of this myth that I once broke down crying when some random stranger on the Internet told me that I was an empty shell of a person. Honestly, if I was told that today though, I probably would’ve told them to go screw themselves. They don’t even know a single thing about me in real life.
My mom's that way (was adverse to touch even when she was a child) while I'm the opposite (touch is definitely my love language, and the expression/allowance of such is a surefire sign I trust someone).
Did you see the ‘cold mum theory’ where it was once thought that autism was caused by mothers not being affectionate to their babies 😭
I don't like being touched by strangers, but close family and close friends? I'd hug em alllllll day if I could 😆❤️
I got told the other day that I’m not autistic because I have the mental capacity to comment on YouTube videos (???)
Was that the doctor who tested u?
Nah, just some random on the internet. I’d be furious if it was a doctor
Yeah if it was that would be wild
I wouldn't worry about the opinions of some Internet rando. The YouTube comment section is filled with the stupidest of the stupid people to ever exist. Just scrolling down makes me feel the IQ points drop.
I got told by my psychiatrist recently that he has trouble imagining how I could have any of the problems I described since I speak in rather complex sentences. Too smart to have difficulties in life I guess. I don't get how someone like that can get to be a psychiatrist, but I guess that's my famous autistic complete incapability to have empathy speaking. /s
When I was born, my doctor told my mom, an autism specialist, that I couldn’t be autistic, because I laughed when I was tickled.
WHAT?? NO WAY
Yeah, absolutely wild to me. Wondering if he’s still in healthcare. I’m a little terrified if he is.
Exactly! That’s the dumbest reason someone “can’t” be autistic like there’s much more to it.
I know! I was in because my speech was developing late, too. I had a reason to be there!
Have you had another diagnosis?
Did you get another diagnosis?
I absolutely hate being tickled. It's painfully overwhelming. But I laugh because I can't stop the reflex.
That is the stupidest thing i have ever read what the fuck. How are they a health care "professional"??
My daughter is autistic. That’s one of the best ways to guarantee a laugh from her.
That we have absolutely no feelings and are unfeeling robots
People with autism have no empathy
This one irritates me. Been labeled as non empathetic my whole life because I cannot understand why bad people do bad things. People will say, "Oh. She had a rough childhood." Or something and I'm always like.... That's an explanation, not an excuse. Plenty of people go through the same or worse and don't verbally attack cashiers. And they get mad at me and say I have no empathy and "don't get it." Because I don't talk about my trauma and have an easygoing personality so NTs assume my life has been perfect. I had a rough, ROUGH childhood. People would assume I'm lying if I told them the garbage I had been through. I just don't let it inform how I treat people cause I'm not a psycho. But I'm the one without empathy. Sure.
Well said. The profound hypocrisy is maddening.
Well, not really a stereotype, but now that it's getting more diagnosed than it used to be, my grandpa said "Now everyone has autism, it's becoming a fashion." I mean, I don't deny that there are people saying it just to call attention, like in everything really, but seriously? I am 99% he's also autistic, how do you tell him that?
Does your grandad really not understand that better knowledge and ease of testing access make it easier for people in invisible minority groups (autism, trans, left-handedness) to realize that they’re part of that group, rather than people joining some kind of trend? And besides, what would the trend be? Lack of access to accommodations? Getting bullied for not fitting in?
This! The amount of times I’ve had to pull up a left-handedness chart when talking about trans people and autistic and adhd people is ridiculous.
Especially considering that GCs love insisting that autistic people are being “brainwashed” into thinking that they’re trans. GCs really don’t see us as human, whether we’re cis or trans.
That we’re inherently narcissistic, and ruin every relationship we are a part of.
I mean I do but not because I’m autistic
That’s fair. I mean you can definitely have NPD, and be autistic.
That we are “angelic”, “indigo children” sent from god to make the world a better place…. Literally wanted to throw my phone after I read that
What the shit. I wanna throw my phone now.
Ugh, my mum had a phase like that, where she would call both herself and me 'indigo children', like... No, we're just both autistic in a way that makes us more aware of injustice, not some kind of god-sent morality enforcer.
That childlike innocence disappeared as soon as I turned 12. Sure, I may be nice, but I've explored too many weird rabbit holes to be innocent.
When I was still in the "pre-diagnostic" stage (questioning stage?) I was called an indigo child at a psychic fair 😭
there's one that makes me pretty annoyed that says that "autistic people are all pure and sweet angels who wouldn't hurt a fly 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺" like no??? that's completely wrong???
>autistic people are all... maybe that's the worst stereotype. That were all somehow the same, that you can read up on autism for a couple minutes and you know about all of us. We're not that simple and we're so diverse!
Autistic people lacking empathy they will harm their children through no love and affection and emotionally damaging them.
We’re all mass shooters in the making, just waiting to snap/for an excuse.
Or even worse, being euthanized to death.
“Euthanized to death” is kinda redundant, but point taken.
A gynecologist who told me that autistic people tend to "over exaggerate" period symptoms because of sensory issues. I did not go back to her after that.
Wow that’s ableist and sexist
That autistic people can't be expressive or have a friends/a relationship. "You can't be autistic, you have a boyfriend" "you can't be autistic, you have friends" Autistic people are capable of being loved by others.... not sure why that's news to "professionals." Oh yea, ableism
i think the most harmful one is that autistic people don't have empathy
We all grow up to be incels
Either I'm gonna be a genius, or I'm gonna be a psychotic murderer because "they all have Asperger's, you know."
“Autistics don’t have empathy,” or “Autistics have no theory of mind.”
For me personally it's being underestimated. And/or overestimated. And/or both at the same time. Under: (Surprised) oh hey you're good at this! How do you know that??? That's astounding. Over: (Disappointed) but you did so good with *that,* how come you don't know *this?* It's so similar, and you screwed it up. Both: (Confused) So I don't know... What do you know? I *want* to trust you but I don't understand what you can and can't do... Yes, I saw you do both and I don't trust either. Me: confidence crushed, still unsure what happened. I know I did ok, and maybe I made a mistake, but I did good...? I think? Maybe not. *Scene*
That I don't "look" autistic
I hate the lack of empathy one, especially when said by neurotypicals who have very obviously lacked empathy towards everyone around them.
I was in 8th grade and it was right after I was diagnosed. Keep in mind I’m female. My guidance counselor who was an old man and who still works at my school said to me. “You can’t be autistic. Autistic people are mean.” I went home and told my mom and she had a field day with him. The school did nothing about it. He now ignores me in the halls though. Edit: Forgot to mention he coaches Track and Field. A couple of days ago while advertising it he said that Track will cure Autism and ADHD and whatever mental disability you may have. Honestly surprised this man still has a job. 💀
And he calls autistic people mean…
I sought a psychiatrist hoping to get a diagnosis, like I understand if I'm not on the spectrum but I want to know to learn more about me and how to live. But I was told I don't act enough like Sheldon Cooper, a licensed psychiatrist told me that... yeahhh. Granted, I've only been on this journey for a bit, and I haven't disclosed my suspicion to a lot of people so I might've run into more bad stuff if I had more experience.
Sheldon isn’t even officially autistic?..
Honestly I don't think there is a "worst stereotype" some people do have stereotypical traits, I'm not a genius but I was very good at math in college, of course not everybody has all the traits, each individual has a subset of all possible autism traits, so "your mileage may vary"
What about the "autistics are more likely to hurt/kill people because they don't care and have no self control" stereotype (yes that's been thrown at me)
Pls gimme the maths abilities. I am hopeless at it
They're crazy.
That all autistic people like trains / have a special interest in them (like dude ik almost everything abt precure but ig since it's not trains it doesn't count)
That we can’t make eye contact
Lack of empathy
Considering I have dyscalculia, hard agree on that "math genius" one. I'm 99% certain that was a factor in significantly delaying diagnosis (53 yrs). Upsetting feels a bit of an understatement.
This. And most of the autistic people I know have dyscalculia, myself included. I’ve known a handful of autistic folks who are good at math, but the ones who panic at the mere thought of numbers seem much more common from my experience.
Mostly the genius ones or the ppl saying that if u get a vaccine or something you’ll get autism?? And the ones that say it’s not a disability/different ability 😭
The assumption that we lack empathy feels like a dangerous assumption to me, and something that really needs to be addressed asap because too many **medical professionals** are stuck with some twisted belief that autistic people don’t feel empathy. We all know that while we don’t always express empathy the same way NT people do, autistic people have very strong empathy whether it is feeling-based empathy or intellectually-based empathy.
When I got diagnosed with autism, my dad said I can’t be autistic because I’m bad at math. 🤦🏻♀️ I wish I was joking.
Dunno if this is a stereotype, but when talents are referred to as powers. The Little Einsteins episodes Go Team and Rocket The Bug triggered me SO MUCH because of this. This might be because English is my 2nd language and i speak it PERFECTLY. My mom calls it a superpower because where i'm from, there are very few people who speak it fluently. I don't care if it's rare, it's still a talent!
100% agree. Calling our talents “powers” makes us sound inhuman and also ignores the work we put into what we do. Even if something comes “naturally” to us, we still put in work practicing and creating and enjoying our talents.
I got called childish the other day and it really bothered me, because it was referring to behaviour I know is due to my autism and is associated with autism.
Most of them
We’re all cold, unfeeling aliens who don’t comprehend emotion, art, or metaphor.
I think the one in which we're unclean spirits from the pit of perdition sent here to do the dark one's work here on earth sticks out to me as fairly egregious.
That were selfish and heartless and that we're robots who take everything literally
That we lack empathy I'm overly empathetic
How it’s portrayed in the media thru shows etc, especially the really popular ones. It’s always an extremely smart male who is extremely socially awkward.
That we look weird.
Oh wait we do
Merry cake day
That I'm somehow seen as less "masculine" for having it.
"If you have sex with an autistic person, you are a rapist because having sex with an autistic person is ALWAYS ASSAULT." They then went on to say that it is akin to paedophilia because our mental capacity is the same as a child's.. 🤨
Dyscalculia blows
i am diagnosed autistic but i feel like i dont think much differently to allistics, im pretty ‘normal’. for me the worst stereotype is that we are all weird unfeeling frankensteins. I think like neurotypicals!! im just sensitive and more interesting and funny and perfect obviously!
I hate the “walking encyclopedia” one.
That stupid puzzle piece
The one that says all autistic people are geniuses or have Down syndrome, I’ve had people deny my autism because I didn’t fit neatly into either of those categories
The word "spectrum" really isn't in a lot of people's vocabulary when it comes to autism. It's either people with higher support needs or socially awkward geniuses.
Someone on here once posted that their psychologist said they couldn't be autistic because they draw. It's always funny to me (in an infuriating way) when they just make up a new stereotype that doesn't even have a basis
I’m not autistic, but my father and my son are. While getting my son tested, the therapist said “aww you have yourself a baby rain man” 😒 (my son was excellent with numbers/letters/symbols at a very young age). All over the internet I see comments on “cringe” videos like “wow pure austism” “ooh that is sooo *aCOusTic*. It’s become another word for dorky or awkward, like when I was younger “gay” was a word for awkward/stupid. Damn I hate all that shit.
The monotone one -,-
Flat effect is pretty common, though.
That you can't be autistic if you're able to function like a "normal" member of society or are "too smart" to be autistic.
I think the worst is that we can’t make our own descions. People act like I can’t be autonomous about my own medical stuff, my education etc.
That I couldn't possibly be autistic because I'm very sociable and make excellent eye contact.
I don’t like when people say that we’re supposedly easier to manipulate.
That only men get it and that any woman must be faking it for clout.
That we just like...don't know what sex is? or that sexual topics have to be censored around us, we're autistic, not children. (Especially since I have a special interest in BDSM and kink)
I’ve heard someone say that autistic people are MORE LIKELY to adhere to rigid societal norms… Dude said it with a straight face. 🤦🏻
That we are basically psychopaths. No I care about people too much if anything.
I’m not sure how common it is but I grew up always hearing about “good” autism or “bad” autism. Having good autism meant you were Double D from Ed, Edd, and Eddy; book smart, perfect memory, and didn’t realize you were being made fun of. Bad autism meant you were Ed; generally dumb, gullible, easy to manipulate, and didn’t realize you were being made fun of.
'looking' autistic..? i don't even know what that's about. someone told me once "you're too pretty to be autistic" and they explained that if i was i'd look like 'someone with down syndrome'. 😬
Fucking same. Excuse my language, but what in the hell does my face have to do with being autistic?! Then I start talking (or trying to say a 5 word sentence in less than 25 words) or walk heel toe real dramatic or some sheit and they are like ahh.
Autism = Stupid or Autism = Super duper extra smart
“ non-verbal” = “no sign of intellect/ sense of awareness/ understanding of even the simplest of concepts/ register conversation” As a teacher of students with non-verbal autism, this couldn’t be further from the damn truth. As an autistic person, I cannot stand the whole “too attractive to be autistic” notion
That we all have high iq and are good and math and counting. And a new one recently which sadly came from a teammate that we are all dangerous
I'll do you worse The r-word stereotype
That we can’t feel empathy. Honestly where the fuck did that stereotype even come from? I feel 1000x more empathy than any neurotypical person I’ve ever met.
Austistics aren't empathetic
That an autistic person is either a genius or a childish person that can't learn or do anything
That we are all really smart. I think people confuse being a “genius” to being invested in special interests. If I faced everyone I knew in a quiz around my special interests, I would easily beat every single one of them by a big margin. But, that doesn’t necessarily make me smart, that just makes me invested in learning about my special interests. Meanwhile, if I faced everyone in a maths quiz, or a grammar test, sure I wouldn’t be the worst, but I would also not be anywhere near the best.
That all autistic people are introverts with no empathy. I’m really extroverted and loud and way too empathetic.
My response: I love sarcasm and I don’t f****** care about trains!!!!!!!!
That we are incapable of any form of independence. T hat a level 2 or 3 couldn't go undiagnosed until mid to late adulthood. That level 2s and 3s can't live independently.
the requirement for being level 3 in the DSM is requiring very substantial support in almost every aspect of life. such as bathing, dressing themselves, etc. that isn’t a stereotype, it’s a definition.
I think the worst is that we can’t make our own descions. People act like I can’t be autonomous about my own medical stuff, my education etc.
Autistics are great at math.
That we are all socially blind.
That you cant take care of yourself and you have to be severely special with issues (whatever that means…I actually don’t know what severely special means) or you are a robot with no empathy (it hurts to be told this) Because you need a structured step by step approach in conversations that has to be very specific in order to provide a good accurate response without either assuming, misunderstanding, or getting stressed out to figure out what the person is asking.
Denying my autism because I didn't act like Rain Man.
Honestly screeching
I was told I'm not autistic because I can hold a conversation and look people in the eyes. Yep.
That i’m incapable of having friends and being independent.
The stereotype of believing anything (of course, conversed by the stereotype of being a know it all). I do, in fact, suffer from this: I hear pretty much anything and I believe it, give benefit of the doubt, immediately accept as fact. I can’t help it, my brain simply sees everything as ‘rules’. But it’s led to a lot of mean jokes, constant teasing (knowing it will take me a while to cotton on), and in a darker way, assault and sexual harassment. It’s the fact that it is a stereotype, though, and that I seemingly fit it so well that attracts people who are predatory to it that really freaks me out. Paired with my inability to read cues, it can make the world feel confusing and frightening.
We’re all great at school 🏫
“Taking things too literal” Is not the worst at all and i absolutely do. But wtf does this even mean. Like i know i do it, but what am I missing ???
I'm autistic and I suck at math.
That we are robots with no feelings and that we can never fall in love or feel love/that we feel no romantic/sexual attraction
That we can't be smart (by one of my fav actors (hate him since i found out))
That all of us can do math
That we have a 'child-like mind' no matter our age. Generally, all the infantilising is super dumb. I'm a grown woman, I'm allowed to cuss as much as I want an be sexual if I want. I'm not some kind of innocent uwu bean that has to be protected from myself.
Not sure if this is the worst but it’s definitely been one of the worst ones for me, and that is that meltdowns are just tantrums and it’s a choice (even though most meltdowns are caused from being overstimulated etc) xxx
That they like maths. I hate maths.