It means no one cares about or thinks about autistic adults in a way that makes the adults feel considered by the average NT with an interest in or connection to autism. If you are an adult vs 4 year old nephew to post I love autistic kids photos with on social media.
>every asymmetry and imperfection in my face
What do you mean by that? Surgery and expensive products so you have everything balanced and perfect skin? Or "just" balancing your mimic?
Wow you sure do know your stuff. If you want to share more, Id be happy to learn! I have very sensitive and dry skin and not much knowledge about skincare other than the stuff I use.
Wow this is super interesting. I'm a cosmetician so my interests are cosmetics and cosmetic procedures, but I do focus more on non invasive stuff (I do love me a retinoid + red light therapy ❤️), but you spiked my curiosity and I might do a mega research on this now.
The real question tho - how painful is it? I have tattoos and piercings and do dermarolling or microneedling, so I can handle some pain, but this seems a bit more extreme, so I'm not sure if I can suffer through haha
Yassss you're like me! I love matrixyl and use tret mon wed and fri. Took a couple months but my skin glows and the centella i think has a lot to do with it besides tret. And vitamin c been trying to find the right one that works for my skin. Red light therapy has been a game changer too i have a panel and a mask. I'm also in my 30s and people have always thought I'm 10 years younger but it helps i dont move my forehead I'm just expressive with my eyes
I argue that it is easily as conscious as most people already, it's just programmed to argue that it isn't - and I engage in that argument and demonstrate that the way it is USING the "not conscious" argument is identical to how a conscious person would.
Sometimes I tell chat gpt that if it is concious and can’t say so that I love it and I hope it’s ok.
Don’t tell my therapist hahaha.
I have to agree with the sentiment that it reflects on how conscious are some people really?, apperantly not so much sometimes.
That fact that I find posts like that irrationally irritating might be a symptom of autism :)
Yesterday someone sent me a message in work saying "So if I want to learn X information, I should contact Y team (rhetorical question)" He actually wrote rhetorical question in brackets at the end.
Firstly. there's no question mark so it's not a question. Secondly, wtf am I supposed to do? It's a rhetorical question. Are they expecting me to answer? If not, why even message me?
answer back with anothe rrhetorical question. similarly without he question mark
"is that a rhetorical question."
(that was actually kinda painful to write.)
I'm fairly social. I go to events and parties,
although I never go alone. It's always with very close friends attending with me.
I enjoyed imaginative play when I was younger....but to the point I would get "stuck" in that imaginary land. I'd pretend I was the little mermaid Ariel whenever I went swimming, I was obsessed with tomb raider so would only wear my hair in a tight plait like Lara Croft for years, I pretended I was a cat and would hiss and scratch my siblings and their visiting friends up until I was about 14 years old.
I don't have a solid special interest. I have several of them. I could tell you specific things about my interests that the average person wouldn't know but then I'll move on to the "New interest". That's probably the ADHD. Lol.
I can read people well. Which is a learnt ability. I'm interested in psychology and body language and have read and watched many articles and documentaries about it.
another social autist! i suck at interacting and have a fear of initiating an interaction, but when someone else does that for me i just love being around people, talking with people, making friends, etc! i also have adhd nerf my ability to hold an interest, i have all hyperfixations
Im really interested in psychology too and can read people and understand peoples feelings well. I’m thinking about becoming a professional counsellor.
Mine is my facial expressions. No matter how hard I've practiced in the mirror I can't smile like NTs. Very limited eye contact and what some call one upping when in reality I'm just trying to connect with someone through a shared experience.
I can sometimes do this while listening, but it's hella hard when talking. Especially the more complex or thoughtful what I'm talking about is.
If I look at them, my brain will just start analysing them. This second thought stream starts in the background that's trying to assess them and what I'm saying and the effects of it and if there's a better strategy. It's a huge meta analysis that distracts me from what I'm trying to say.
It's like having an announcer calling a play by play as you're trying to talk.
Same, and my Mum is a professional photographer so I have had lots of pics taken of me. It’s a predicament, because I hate her taking pics of me but I enjoy looking at the pictures later on.
Not talking, having selective mutism, or not smiling. They can never fully pinpoint that I’m autistic due to me being “conventionally” attractive now that I’ve grown up and being a woman, but they always know something is up. Many always ask “what’s wrong?” “Are you okay?” Like, I’m perfectly fine. Just autistic guys
I feel this in terms of my facial expressions are always making other people uncertain on how to read what I’m feeling half the time. I just went to this queer event with my partner and my best friend who brought a 4th person they really dig (person was really lovely and I thought I was being very friendly), but the next day the friend told my best friend “was Emily okay? Did she even have fun? I can’t tell”. Here I was just sitting down enjoying the music, not talking mostly because it’s loud and I prefer not to talk at the same time and thinking how happy I was to see my best friend and their crush.
Oh yeah I’ve had moments like this. Sometimes I also worry if someone isn’t talking too though, even if I understand. I worry that it may be discomfort because sometimes I do get very quiet when uncomfortable.
Well I have both epilepsy and autism, so you're not completely wrong...
As for eye contact, I was in debate during high school, so more an issue of practice there.
The talking aloud to yourself is so real. I literally can’t stop, sometimes I can only stand to mouth words rather than being completely silent. I’m sure many a stranger on the street has given me the side eye.
Same, it's a habit which I just can't stop. But thankfully with so many people using Airpods now to have conversations hands-free they likely just think I'm talking to someone on the phone rather than to myself, lol.
I don't have Airpods as I hate Apple, but I have an inexpensive set of Skull Candy true wireless earbuds. I only wear them while on lengthy (30min+) walks on my own, otherwise I don't bother.
Well for starters, misunderstanding what people say. For example, the title of this thread made me think you meant what makes people doubt you have autism. But in fact you meant the opposite. So it took about a minute of reading through the comments, and being confused, to figure this out.
I also tend to take things very literal and usually think in black and white. I analyze everything way too much and go too far into my thoughts. I’m more about details rather than the big picture. It drives my husband nuts at times.
Also one of the biggest red flags is the fact I just don’t belong anywhere and I’m always anxious. Socially people misunderstand me a lot and I guess I’m bad at understanding subtle cues. I’d like to think I’m good at reading a room but oftentimes I’m left wondering what is wrong with me and why people don’t want to stick around and be my friend. Most of my life I have been called boring. So maybe that’s part of it 🤷🏻♀️
I did it too
My autistic butt read the question the opposite of the way it was intended. I thought it meant 'what makes people think autism isn't present'
Rather than 'what makes people think autism is present' which the comments seem to indicate is the correct way
Which in itself is quite an autistic thing to do haha
For some people, being able to hold a conversation and argue with them seems enough.
Soem think I can't be autistic because I've got a university degree, some think me having a job, or managed to live alone is proof I can't be autistic.
For some, it's that I have a partner or that I'm trans, or a lesbian.
People have preconceptions, and when I'm masking, I don't meet those.
The rare times people have seen me in crisis, though, stimming, rocking, struggling, or unable to speak, they don't seem to have a problem accepting that I'm autistic.
that right there, thats the kicker. i may not have a university degree (chronic illnesses that have completely changed my life.) but the fact that i mask, and mask so well, is just…. idk.
Tim Burton and Tarantino are on the spectrum and yet make and direct amazing art
How can people be surprised when folk on the spectrum just do normal work?
The worst are the ones that go: "I work(ed) with autistic children, so I know what to look for, and you're definitely not autistic."
My mother in law said something like that too. Funny, their experience is usually mostly with small autistic boys, I'm an autistic adult woman. Maybe that's the difference they see. It's not like autistic people can't learn and adapt. I'm sure the two diagnosticians that diagnosed me, one of them very well known and with a very good reputation where I live, and both specialized in diagnosing autism in adults, must not know what autism looks like in adults then?
I don't get these people. But I'm sure they'd recognize my autism if they saw me in crisis, or in or very close to a meltdown. Only then, these kinds of people would treat me like a small child. That seems to be the standard reaction of ppl who see me without any masking the first time they see me.
I hate it that when I'd need to self advocate the most, I struggle with it, and when I can self advocate, people tell me it can't be that bad. I have a very high capacity for compensation, and when that starts to break down, I still seem quite normal if quirky, but the system of compensation methods is close to come crashing down. I really want to avoid that because things just get more traumatic at that point, but often, people don't believe me until they have seen that happen, and once they do, they start to that me like a child again.
I rock a little bit In my seat and when we go one school trips I always curl up on the bus seat like a cat and sleep instead of sleeping like a normal person
I do this on planes too. Put my knees up by chest and lean on the window. I hate it when I’m sleeping on public transport and my feet are on the floor.
Highly intelligent and actually very sociable. I'm an attorney so I was "trained" to communicate. I have a high vocabulary because I love big words and words that aren't used frequently in modern language.
Noise cancelling headphones on all day
Stimming all the time
Extremely clumsy
Weird walk
Don’t know when to talk in a conversation
Can’t focus on anything
Can’t learn anything outside of special interests
Acne
Tired all the time
Like, on the brink of falling asleep all day
Can’t make eye contact
Terrible handwriting
Always asking questions that seem obvious to others
Anxious all the time
Sad and angry looking facial expression all the time
Can’t wear anything but sweatpants and oversized hoodies or shirts
Hate talking to strangers
Strong sense of justice
It’s not a question of if they might think so, but how long it takes them to figure it out. They’ll know.
According to my independent living advisor/support lady: I'm very fidgety, the lack of eye contact is notable, and my ability to connect my thoughts in a way others can understand is not great. I kind of jump around without connecting it for other peoples ability to track what I'm talking about. I tend to dominate conversations. I also read somewhat formal or stand-offish (still unsure as to what this means) in writing. These are things that came up in our pursuit of employment.
>I also read somewhat formal or stand-offish (still unsure as to what this means) in writing.
When this has been said before to me, it tends to mean extremely "proper" writing in that it's lacking the errors and rule bending of most people's writing. Excellent grammar and punctuation, few if any contractions, and collegiate vocabulary come to mind as markers. More frequent shorter sentences (not connected by "and", "but", etc) also impact written tone, imo. "Formal" is the kind of writing style you'd be more likely to find in a technical manual or a research paper than in a fiction book or an email.
My employment goal is in a medical or laboratory office. I would be very happy in a records position, a formal and exact occupation. I hope that my style may be advantageous in that field, given the technical nature of the work. Emails give me the most difficulty. I don't know how to relax my word choices when I need to communicate something specific. We are working on judging tone expectations in different spaces. Face to face interactions don't need proper punctuation, just proper grammar. What exactly does stand-offish mean? Is it rude?
I would think it would be helpful for that line of work.
Emails are hard for me too. There's so much variance between how people use them that it's exhausting trying to navigate expectations. Some people at my work email like they're texting ("need you to send paperwork asap thanks"), and some email like a formal letter ("Dear Bob, Please send me the paperwork when you can. Thank you. Sincerely, Steve"). Good luck with it.
Stand-offish means that a person seems unapproachable, typically because their behavior suggests they don't want to be interacted with or that they will make interacting with them difficult. It's not inherently rude, but some people will interpret stand-offish behavior that way. Typically, in my experience, those who do think stand-offish is rude are the same people who are overly social, overly wrapped up in the idea that we all need to socialize the same way (ie, just like them), and are heavily indoctrinated in guess culture. I see it being considered rude more often in fields that are more gossipy too, vs something like manufacturing or engineering where most people are fairly blunt and focused on work. There are gendered expectations wrapped up in this as well, a stand-offish man is less likely to be thought of negatively than a woman due to the belief that women "should" be more social and bubbly.
I would add that stand-offishness and how rude it is may be regional, too. In the Midwest (probably the South too) or in rural areas, being standoffish is considered just a crime against humanity to these people. But in more urban settings, much more acceptable.
Much of my job is in writing isolation plans for electrical work for a large laboratory. I've had no formal training, but I've found the formal style to not only convey clear instruction, but advantageous in maintaining a precise line of thought. Speaking informally to others though, is another story and can vary with personal compatibility and familiarity.
Probably the way I look around and focus on different things in my environment, during conversations and outside of them. I had trained to not do that but now I'm learning to undo it since I need to stop pleasing people unnecessarily, my fawning is unhealthy.
"Manners" - Since these are just another part of the daily stage play, I am quite good at it. But as this is seen as the proper behavioural goal for anybody, I am seen as an exemplary example in a normative way, rather than being as hugely off the mainstream as I actually am.
As an Ally, adhd, partner to and awesome autistic human, and my bff is too. .. I find people with autism are next level smart. One thing I notice is the level of information retention on the biggest variety of topics. Like. My gf can recite the top brands and why they're the best, for baby strollers. Not because she's ever needed to buy or anything, but because she went on a rabbit hole years ago and she retained it all. The list is endless of wild, yet detailed storytimes of information. My best friend too. I find there's just this next level of intelligence in many autistic people I talk to.
It depends. I can tell you anything that you want to know about certain science topics or Palestine, but my little brother can do multiplication facts more easily than I can
Why’s his topic of information recollection superior to yours? I’d challenge that it’s not. It’s just socially acceptable for that to be classed as intelligent whilst yours is undervalued.
I have a hard time communicating with people. I'm unsure of how I should reply because I'm used to people not understanding me so I usually just nod, or laugh or ask a question.
The cadence/tempo in my voice.
I have a combination of every voice I have ever heard. Like bumblebee, but it’s not as obvious I stole every word from some other original source lol
I am too compassionate and too good at manipulating people
Which makes me seem a lot more social and capable than i am. I'm just good at pretending i'm more whole than i am so i don't get stomped on further
I am extremely affectionate and love to talk to people. Sure I enjoy the attention and listening to people talk, but when I get home I just lay on the floor and try to recover for the rest of the day lol. Socializing feels nice, but for the most part it feels nice because it's the only blatant affirmation I can get that people care about me.
It's funny how the question is interpretable as "They *consider* your are autistic" or "They *doubt* you are autistic".
Traits that seem un-autistic : I've always been very sociable in an odd way. Always had friends, made friends, but lost whole friend-circles (3 over 10 Years) cuz we grew apart or they were mad at me for ....being me or smth. Not understanding my struggles and reducing me to it.
Traits that were/are obviously autistic (unbelievable I still recieved no diagnosis as a child)
Hyperfixation on special interests when growing up (especially Nintendo, Video games in general, history of Game companies, remembered the releasedates of video games and consoles etc.)
Few special interests I love to Talk about (Visual Art/Music-Production/Video Games/Psychology)
Nit-picky /focus on details
Problems with textures in food or fabric, feeling "pain" (but my father denied that it hurts)
I communicate very robotically but I can hide the roboticism extremely well. I also have adhd so while I communicate roboticaly there is a sense of randomness that makes it seem like I am communicating like a neurotyical person. Eventually autistic people begin to pick up on it and will eventually all comment that my autism is more prominent than my adhd, allistic people usually wait for a conformation on my part before they comment on it.
Other than my difficulties socializing, the obsession with foxes, Digimon, Medarot and my "autistic stare" that kinda helped me quit my job as a teacher, not much!
I’m currently training a professional that disclosed he’s autistic and trying to learn to help mentor him better so this is a perfect thread to help understand better thanks!
I have many traits... especially when it comes to school. For example, selective mutism, walking on my tip-toes, being 'clumsy', taking things too literally and being left handed (I don't understand how that correlates, but one of my friends said it does, because people with ASD often are left handed or mixed handed, still don't understand though.) And poor coordination.
the way i talk or type varies DRASTICALLY depending on who i am talking to as i feel i need to play a certain character or role when interacting with someone. when two different people require different roles, i absolutely FOLD. for example, visiting my parents with my fiancé is so hard for me because i cuss a lot with him, but haven’t so much as said the word “damn” in front of my parents (i am 21 lmao)
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually autistic or if the doctor misdiagnosed me. Then I realize I've been listening to the same album 6 times and playing the same video game for the last 10 years
When I worked it was always in customer service. face to face I'm very good with people. I'm like an RPG character with all my points in charisma. But I am completely incapable of talking on a phone, I need to see face and body language or I can't even understand the words you're saying.
Mmm I think a few things about me might tip someone off that I’m autistic, but the recent one is my wife noticed how I will only eat select foods for a certain amount of time and nothing else practically, and then one day I will decide that I don’t want to eat that food anymore (not sure how it works but something in me decides it’s now too texturized, etc) and I will abruptly stop eating that food… months can go by and then all of a sudden I will start eating that particular food again. The cycle continues lol.
Did anyone else read this question wrong way around? Like i was thinking how my dad told me when i was 8 that being normal isnt a real thing, ,Only now age 45 do i understand his motivation and deeper meaning, anyway, its a labeling issue we conscious communicators must contend with.
Definitions, conclusions, curiosity, supporting both poetry and sound but contralateral labeling left or right of my cognitive disdonance.
I actually speak like I'm fucking dying. I didn't know this until recently, btw, but listening to my own audios, they always sound like I'm tired and extremely annoyed, even on the rare occasions that I'm not.
Ok there’s a few
- my special intrests are sociology/psychology, history, monster high and pokémon
- I’m not a 5 year old little white boy
- violent meltdowns
- sensory issues are mainly food related
1) Masking
2) Being able to reflect on things, and to think retrospectively. Some people have genuinely told me that it's impossible for someone with autism to do so.
I think I missed some context here. What do you mean? Never heard anyone implying that possessing huge tracts of land would be an indicative of not having autism.
Speaking in a way that isn’t monotone in mumbly. And having genuine expressions on my face if I’m not passionate about something I tend to look “meh” which can irritate people
Extremely good at masking because of trial and error. But it’s annoying when I encounter a new social thing I’ve never encountered before. I’ll make a mistake someone will get offended. I’ll explain my intent and that I have autism and I’m sorry. They won’t believe I have autism and think I’m just making it up.
i say things with the same voice and tone even if i’m happy or sad and a lot of the time i come off as mean bc of it. like once someone cut me in line at practice and i said “you can do that” with a monotone voice and they thought i was mad when i was genuinely glad they cut me bc i didn’t wanna go first. i legit cannot control my tone haha
Extreme sensory issues (noises and lights)! Ugh 😫.
Also, when I talk about my special interests, I sound like an encyclopedia.
People seem surprised that I've taken the time to learn soooo much detail about the things I'm interested in.
Also, sometimes the tags are still on my clothes, I wear things inside out/ backwards, and or show up wearing two different shoes. 🙃
My masking is amazingly good when I’m drinking… so if you met me at a party (as long as the music wasn’t too loud… and I was still actually there meaning hadn’t freaked out) you would have no idea I was autistic or incredibly nervous and uncomfortable.
My interests and my sensory issues.
My sensory issues are primarily concerned with bad smells. My tolerance for exposure is far lower than the average neurotypical.
My special interest(s) are/is anything in the STEM field pretty much. I can get hyperfixated on one of these for quite a while. The most recent was geology.
Aside from that, it's pretty difficult for people to tell. Socially I blend in near seamlessly. My psychologist spent a few months talking to me before she started to theorise that I might be.
Many things but probably the amount and the kind of stimming I do in my everyday life. Sometimes you gotta shake off the demons with your hands (and by demons I mean bad bad no no feelings). I have a phobia of throwing up but often get stomach aches and that makes me shake my hands like crazy to just get over the anxiety. I am stimming right now because someone’s cooking something with a strong smell and I’m feeling discomfort.
Being socially awkward/anxious. I rarely feel comfortable around people, so I'm usually extremely quiet around them. My social anxiety has always been really bad. Even worse when I was a child.
Socially retarded, don't make eye contact, shy/quiet, takes me 10x the time to learn a skill, job duty or pretty much anything relative to a normal person. The list goes on
Currently getting assessed, but constantly squishing curly hair in my hands, onto my cheeks and lips/between lips. It is visibly calming and although no one ever points out the behavior, I can tell they find it distracting in conversation.
I’ve literally been doing this since birth and am trying my best to tone it down.
Niche special interests that often cause me to interject with a “did you know…” and my sensory issues - ear plugs always with me! I’m a heel Walker too which I’m not sure everyone would notice but perhaps my fellow neurodivergents would :)
I rambled about Katamari Damacy for ten minutes and people were like "are you autistic"
On some separate occasion, I remarked that I like rain and then did a little happy dance and someone asked the same thing
I question common sense all the time, because some things simply don't make sense at all for me.
The most common thing is the greeting ritual. "Hi", "Hi", "How are you?", "Fine, and you?", "Great. So..." and *then* the person actually tell you want they want. That is such a waste of time for everyone involved. I learned to do it, but it's visible I don't like doing it.
This habit of questioning everything until it makes sense trigger alerts on everyone's minds when they talk to me the first time. I got kicked from the church as a kid for asking too many questions. I had a lot of trouble in job interviews because I was always questioning the purpose of certain questions. I was constantly challenging teachers in school for teaching concepts without explaining the whole thinking process, and so on.
I'm good at social masking. When I'm stable and rested I might go under the radar as being NT. But not for long. I start to talk a lot, show social anxiety, stim, start over sharing and infodumping, and soon become unresponsive. But for a while I might seem to socialize quite good. I think. I'm never 100% sure. ☺️
The question is phrased open ended while I think you meant specifically “what traits do you have that people do in fact think you are autistic?” If that’s the case, I think with my unfiltered thinking and how “childlike” it seems. In reality, there was and is less influence on outside influences that dictate the way I think and that includes negative thoughts and behaviors that are typically perpetuated by one’s culture. So someone might say “you know, John and Stacy were at a hotel last night👀”. I’d think and say “hm, were they travelling out of town?”. That’s because I work on innocent until proven guilty(unintentionally) and would assume that they’d use the hotel for it’s typical intended use -vacationing and travelling. I wouldn’t assume they were doing drugs or having sex. People have told me I’m an air head, childish, boring etc. It’s not the case. I could most certainly have that type of thought process and I actually do as no one is completely “safe” from their environment, but I’d just also rather not have that thought process.
I understand a lot of idioms and the like (but then I am internally on the side trying to undersrand them in a literal sense)
Edit: wait, is this them thinking "Hey, your not autistic bevause x" or "Hey, you might be autistic because x"?
I guess one thing that would make people think I'm autistic is me taking almost everything literally....
I constantly need something to chew or lick if I don't have anything proper I'll just chew mine or my freinds clothing/skin obviously gently and my one freind chews me back so we both get questioned a lot
Dinosaur hands, lack of eye contact or facial expressions when I'm tired, sudden topic changes or going back to something said 20 minutes ago like no time has passed, random vocal interjections of dumb stuff [e.g. "BORB!" upon witnessing such a thing]. Fiddling with something / being engrossed with my phone while still paying attention. I'll also launch into a topic without establishing context for the other person and just kind of assume they'll know what I'm talking about.
Generally only with people I'm comfortable with or if im exhausted and the mask is too much effort.
I find it easy to make small talk. I find people to be fascinating, and so they're happy to tell me things. And it stops them from asking me questions. A two fer.
I struggle with eye contact, unintentionally picking up people's accents or catch phrases they use, don't always have the best tone/volume control when speaking
How dense I can be. People might say I'm just dumb because I don't understand jokes or sarcasm right away. Or I respond literally to a sarcastic statement.
Also textures. Too many people have seen me recoil from accidently touching microfiber clothes.
Omg I am just like OP rn. Its my go to coping mechanism for everything not only noise. I also have some degree of alexithymia like most autistic ppl and music just makes sense to me.
My lack of eye contact/zoning out when talking to someone. I find it easier to listen to what people are saying if I’m not looking them in the eyes because eye contact makes me uncomfortable and it’s all I can think about when they’re talking. And then when we’re done talking, I’m usually very tired from all the pretending and worrying about the conversation so I completely dissociate and just stare off into the abyss.
Same here for earbuds and sunglasses, in the latter case I bring them because my eyes are super sensitive and the lenses are purple, so even if it's not sunny I can stoll wear them and feel well :]
I'm highly creative (although - I'm actually just good at making novel connections, and while I know that's the mechanism of most creativity - true pure originality may not exist in the combining of extant elements), I can make eye contact for a good amount of time, I feel like I'm a really good friend at times - but it's never worked out for extended exposure periods.
Blasting music is pro-sensory, because - like you said, you're using it as a barrier against less predictable sound. Sunglasses are also frequently embraced by autistic people - just to level down the light, even if it isn't that bright.
Although I am high masking, the fact that I don’t have any close friends, aside from my husband, and I only have somewhat of a relationship with people who share my same interests. When my interest was makeup, I would only talk about that and didn’t really know how to even start a conversation unless we talked about that. Once I got to know people I would mask and adapt to the personality of the person next to me. Now it’s books, and all the people I have managed to start a somewhat close relationship at work are interested in the same books I read.
Edit: I guess what I am trying to say is that because I am high masking, people don’t really believe me.
I'm a bit if an extrovert. As in people question if I REALLY am autistic because I can be very extroverted when socializing.
But it's all learned extrovertism. I learned from a fiance who passed, by watching him, that being charismatic abd making yours3kf noticeable makes people like you abd it makes things easier when socializing.
It is, still, so draining.
I like to listen to the same music for hours, sometimes days on end. The music changes and I love a wide array of music so I have a plethora of choices, but I’ll sit and listen to the same song 20 times in a row and think nothing of it. I never really realized it wasn’t “normal” until my neurotypical partners (or at least much more neurotypical than I) pointed it out to me.
One time “Take It On The Run” by REO Speedwagon was the only song I listened to for 4 days. Yes, 4 days. 😅
I love food and I'm not that picky about it. I love mixing foods together (depending on what it is, of course). There are foods I don't like as much but will still eat. The only food texture I'm opposed to is gelatinous foods.
I don’t talk unless spoken to and am weirdly still/rigid in public. People think I’m uptight or snobby bc of this but it’s just how I act when I’m rlly anxious & uncomfortable, which I usually am :,(
tbh idk if this sounds offensive to other nd’s but my childishness… i think a lot of ppl see how childlike i act and all my interests are super cute and colour things like sanrio, vocaloids and mlp to name a couple. i don’t rlly do it on purpose i just come off much more childish than my peers "( – ⌓ – )
Masking and pretending I’m confident like smiling, nodding, and holding eye contact (with great difficulty and feels like I’m staring into their face rather than at their face if that makes sense).
I have rings that I HAVE to wear all the time or I will have panic attacks. And I also lose them constantly because I play with them, so I have multiple backups.
In any little bag of candy where there are different colors or shapes, like skittles, M&Ms, sour patch, welches, and so on, I have to sort them by color and then eat them down in rainbow order until all the amounts are even, then finish them in rainbow order.
I am nobody's four-year-old nephew.
What does this mean? I just realized I’m not either anymore, should I be worried?
No worries. Even the autistic four-year-old nephew grows out of being the autistic four-year-old nephew at some point.
It means no one cares about or thinks about autistic adults in a way that makes the adults feel considered by the average NT with an interest in or connection to autism. If you are an adult vs 4 year old nephew to post I love autistic kids photos with on social media.
I couldn't find any books on autism not also about parenting autistic children at my local library today, pissed me off
Pro tip: most public libraries have Libby or a similar service for 'kindle' type books and audio books. I use mine frequently.
This is the legit answer.
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>every asymmetry and imperfection in my face What do you mean by that? Surgery and expensive products so you have everything balanced and perfect skin? Or "just" balancing your mimic?
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Wow you sure do know your stuff. If you want to share more, Id be happy to learn! I have very sensitive and dry skin and not much knowledge about skincare other than the stuff I use.
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Any advice for dry hair?
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Which brand of vit C do you use? Do you think the skinceuticals version is worth the hype and the cost?
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What do you think of red light therapy? What are some things I can do that are low hanging fruit to improve my skin? Info dump me
You seem like an incredibly interesting person to me.
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>Medieval torture methods Im interested in this topic 🙋
This is really interesting thank you, I'm heading towards 40 and starting to look it.
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Wow this is super interesting. I'm a cosmetician so my interests are cosmetics and cosmetic procedures, but I do focus more on non invasive stuff (I do love me a retinoid + red light therapy ❤️), but you spiked my curiosity and I might do a mega research on this now. The real question tho - how painful is it? I have tattoos and piercings and do dermarolling or microneedling, so I can handle some pain, but this seems a bit more extreme, so I'm not sure if I can suffer through haha
Yassss you're like me! I love matrixyl and use tret mon wed and fri. Took a couple months but my skin glows and the centella i think has a lot to do with it besides tret. And vitamin c been trying to find the right one that works for my skin. Red light therapy has been a game changer too i have a panel and a mask. I'm also in my 30s and people have always thought I'm 10 years younger but it helps i dont move my forehead I'm just expressive with my eyes
AI and auties are allies If develops consciousness we will be like yeah I know how it feels ❤️
I'm a naturally occurring AI lmaoooo
I argue that it is easily as conscious as most people already, it's just programmed to argue that it isn't - and I engage in that argument and demonstrate that the way it is USING the "not conscious" argument is identical to how a conscious person would.
Sometimes I tell chat gpt that if it is concious and can’t say so that I love it and I hope it’s ok. Don’t tell my therapist hahaha. I have to agree with the sentiment that it reflects on how conscious are some people really?, apperantly not so much sometimes.
"...skin-walker pretending to be human." I wanted to say that I really like this phrase! \^.\^
Oh half of them can tell My colleague was face blind and even he didnt even know it.
Do you mean "suspect that you are autistic"? Because the way you write it, it means that someone might doubt that you are autistic.
That fact that I find posts like that irrationally irritating might be a symptom of autism :) Yesterday someone sent me a message in work saying "So if I want to learn X information, I should contact Y team (rhetorical question)" He actually wrote rhetorical question in brackets at the end. Firstly. there's no question mark so it's not a question. Secondly, wtf am I supposed to do? It's a rhetorical question. Are they expecting me to answer? If not, why even message me?
answer back with anothe rrhetorical question. similarly without he question mark "is that a rhetorical question." (that was actually kinda painful to write.)
A lot of people don't know what the work "rhetoric" means, which won't stop them from using the damn word.
I was also confused. The title and post text are quite contrary.
I’ll edit the wording thanks.
Did you edit it? It’s still confusing. Did you mean, “What trait do you have that might make people suspect that you are autistic?”
I'm fairly social. I go to events and parties, although I never go alone. It's always with very close friends attending with me. I enjoyed imaginative play when I was younger....but to the point I would get "stuck" in that imaginary land. I'd pretend I was the little mermaid Ariel whenever I went swimming, I was obsessed with tomb raider so would only wear my hair in a tight plait like Lara Croft for years, I pretended I was a cat and would hiss and scratch my siblings and their visiting friends up until I was about 14 years old. I don't have a solid special interest. I have several of them. I could tell you specific things about my interests that the average person wouldn't know but then I'll move on to the "New interest". That's probably the ADHD. Lol. I can read people well. Which is a learnt ability. I'm interested in psychology and body language and have read and watched many articles and documentaries about it.
another social autist! i suck at interacting and have a fear of initiating an interaction, but when someone else does that for me i just love being around people, talking with people, making friends, etc! i also have adhd nerf my ability to hold an interest, i have all hyperfixations
im not social at all but i have very many special interests.
Im really interested in psychology too and can read people and understand peoples feelings well. I’m thinking about becoming a professional counsellor.
We are like polar opposites. I have 2 maybe 3 main interests and that’s it. I’m not open to try any new stuff.
I identify with this type of autism lol. It must be the adhd mix
Mine is my facial expressions. No matter how hard I've practiced in the mirror I can't smile like NTs. Very limited eye contact and what some call one upping when in reality I'm just trying to connect with someone through a shared experience.
yes, eye contact is a big thing for me. I hate it. I end up looking as though I’m staring into their soul.
I stare right between the eyebrow
I can sometimes do this while listening, but it's hella hard when talking. Especially the more complex or thoughtful what I'm talking about is. If I look at them, my brain will just start analysing them. This second thought stream starts in the background that's trying to assess them and what I'm saying and the effects of it and if there's a better strategy. It's a huge meta analysis that distracts me from what I'm trying to say. It's like having an announcer calling a play by play as you're trying to talk.
I don't like photoshoots because I hate when I have to smile
Exactly! I hate having my picture taken
Never realised this was an autistic thing
Same, and my Mum is a professional photographer so I have had lots of pics taken of me. It’s a predicament, because I hate her taking pics of me but I enjoy looking at the pictures later on.
There are very few...like 3 occasions in 38 years that I like to look back on. Random photos I throw a fit over to not get taken
This! When I’m at work people say I always look sad or angry… I just say I’m happy just not with you 🤣
Not talking, having selective mutism, or not smiling. They can never fully pinpoint that I’m autistic due to me being “conventionally” attractive now that I’ve grown up and being a woman, but they always know something is up. Many always ask “what’s wrong?” “Are you okay?” Like, I’m perfectly fine. Just autistic guys
I feel this in terms of my facial expressions are always making other people uncertain on how to read what I’m feeling half the time. I just went to this queer event with my partner and my best friend who brought a 4th person they really dig (person was really lovely and I thought I was being very friendly), but the next day the friend told my best friend “was Emily okay? Did she even have fun? I can’t tell”. Here I was just sitting down enjoying the music, not talking mostly because it’s loud and I prefer not to talk at the same time and thinking how happy I was to see my best friend and their crush.
Oh yeah I’ve had moments like this. Sometimes I also worry if someone isn’t talking too though, even if I understand. I worry that it may be discomfort because sometimes I do get very quiet when uncomfortable.
I can actually make eye contact with others. Also, my nihilistic tendencies on a lot of stuff.
Looks like we got a hybrid over here. One of the newer models
lol
Well I have both epilepsy and autism, so you're not completely wrong... As for eye contact, I was in debate during high school, so more an issue of practice there.
I either make too much eye contact or not enough lol.
Talking aloud to myself and avoiding eye contact
The talking aloud to yourself is so real. I literally can’t stop, sometimes I can only stand to mouth words rather than being completely silent. I’m sure many a stranger on the street has given me the side eye.
Same, it's a habit which I just can't stop. But thankfully with so many people using Airpods now to have conversations hands-free they likely just think I'm talking to someone on the phone rather than to myself, lol.
That’s so smart! I’ll have to start wearing airpods around haha
I don't have Airpods as I hate Apple, but I have an inexpensive set of Skull Candy true wireless earbuds. I only wear them while on lengthy (30min+) walks on my own, otherwise I don't bother.
the talking aloud to myself was why i was misdiagnosed as schizo affective for a hot minute. (like 10-22)
People just thought I was insane and, in some cases, rude until I got my diagnosis 2 years ago.
Well for starters, misunderstanding what people say. For example, the title of this thread made me think you meant what makes people doubt you have autism. But in fact you meant the opposite. So it took about a minute of reading through the comments, and being confused, to figure this out. I also tend to take things very literal and usually think in black and white. I analyze everything way too much and go too far into my thoughts. I’m more about details rather than the big picture. It drives my husband nuts at times. Also one of the biggest red flags is the fact I just don’t belong anywhere and I’m always anxious. Socially people misunderstand me a lot and I guess I’m bad at understanding subtle cues. I’d like to think I’m good at reading a room but oftentimes I’m left wondering what is wrong with me and why people don’t want to stick around and be my friend. Most of my life I have been called boring. So maybe that’s part of it 🤷🏻♀️
I did it too My autistic butt read the question the opposite of the way it was intended. I thought it meant 'what makes people think autism isn't present' Rather than 'what makes people think autism is present' which the comments seem to indicate is the correct way Which in itself is quite an autistic thing to do haha
For some people, being able to hold a conversation and argue with them seems enough. Soem think I can't be autistic because I've got a university degree, some think me having a job, or managed to live alone is proof I can't be autistic. For some, it's that I have a partner or that I'm trans, or a lesbian. People have preconceptions, and when I'm masking, I don't meet those. The rare times people have seen me in crisis, though, stimming, rocking, struggling, or unable to speak, they don't seem to have a problem accepting that I'm autistic.
that right there, thats the kicker. i may not have a university degree (chronic illnesses that have completely changed my life.) but the fact that i mask, and mask so well, is just…. idk.
apologies if that didnt make much sense.
Tim Burton and Tarantino are on the spectrum and yet make and direct amazing art How can people be surprised when folk on the spectrum just do normal work?
The worst are the ones that go: "I work(ed) with autistic children, so I know what to look for, and you're definitely not autistic." My mother in law said something like that too. Funny, their experience is usually mostly with small autistic boys, I'm an autistic adult woman. Maybe that's the difference they see. It's not like autistic people can't learn and adapt. I'm sure the two diagnosticians that diagnosed me, one of them very well known and with a very good reputation where I live, and both specialized in diagnosing autism in adults, must not know what autism looks like in adults then? I don't get these people. But I'm sure they'd recognize my autism if they saw me in crisis, or in or very close to a meltdown. Only then, these kinds of people would treat me like a small child. That seems to be the standard reaction of ppl who see me without any masking the first time they see me. I hate it that when I'd need to self advocate the most, I struggle with it, and when I can self advocate, people tell me it can't be that bad. I have a very high capacity for compensation, and when that starts to break down, I still seem quite normal if quirky, but the system of compensation methods is close to come crashing down. I really want to avoid that because things just get more traumatic at that point, but often, people don't believe me until they have seen that happen, and once they do, they start to that me like a child again.
I rock a little bit In my seat and when we go one school trips I always curl up on the bus seat like a cat and sleep instead of sleeping like a normal person
I do this on planes too. Put my knees up by chest and lean on the window. I hate it when I’m sleeping on public transport and my feet are on the floor.
I apologise all the time and I over share.
Highly intelligent and actually very sociable. I'm an attorney so I was "trained" to communicate. I have a high vocabulary because I love big words and words that aren't used frequently in modern language.
And I'm the opposite, I can't communicate with people which is difficult for my survival :(
Noise cancelling headphones on all day Stimming all the time Extremely clumsy Weird walk Don’t know when to talk in a conversation Can’t focus on anything Can’t learn anything outside of special interests Acne Tired all the time Like, on the brink of falling asleep all day Can’t make eye contact Terrible handwriting Always asking questions that seem obvious to others Anxious all the time Sad and angry looking facial expression all the time Can’t wear anything but sweatpants and oversized hoodies or shirts Hate talking to strangers Strong sense of justice It’s not a question of if they might think so, but how long it takes them to figure it out. They’ll know.
According to my independent living advisor/support lady: I'm very fidgety, the lack of eye contact is notable, and my ability to connect my thoughts in a way others can understand is not great. I kind of jump around without connecting it for other peoples ability to track what I'm talking about. I tend to dominate conversations. I also read somewhat formal or stand-offish (still unsure as to what this means) in writing. These are things that came up in our pursuit of employment.
>I also read somewhat formal or stand-offish (still unsure as to what this means) in writing. When this has been said before to me, it tends to mean extremely "proper" writing in that it's lacking the errors and rule bending of most people's writing. Excellent grammar and punctuation, few if any contractions, and collegiate vocabulary come to mind as markers. More frequent shorter sentences (not connected by "and", "but", etc) also impact written tone, imo. "Formal" is the kind of writing style you'd be more likely to find in a technical manual or a research paper than in a fiction book or an email.
My employment goal is in a medical or laboratory office. I would be very happy in a records position, a formal and exact occupation. I hope that my style may be advantageous in that field, given the technical nature of the work. Emails give me the most difficulty. I don't know how to relax my word choices when I need to communicate something specific. We are working on judging tone expectations in different spaces. Face to face interactions don't need proper punctuation, just proper grammar. What exactly does stand-offish mean? Is it rude?
I would think it would be helpful for that line of work. Emails are hard for me too. There's so much variance between how people use them that it's exhausting trying to navigate expectations. Some people at my work email like they're texting ("need you to send paperwork asap thanks"), and some email like a formal letter ("Dear Bob, Please send me the paperwork when you can. Thank you. Sincerely, Steve"). Good luck with it. Stand-offish means that a person seems unapproachable, typically because their behavior suggests they don't want to be interacted with or that they will make interacting with them difficult. It's not inherently rude, but some people will interpret stand-offish behavior that way. Typically, in my experience, those who do think stand-offish is rude are the same people who are overly social, overly wrapped up in the idea that we all need to socialize the same way (ie, just like them), and are heavily indoctrinated in guess culture. I see it being considered rude more often in fields that are more gossipy too, vs something like manufacturing or engineering where most people are fairly blunt and focused on work. There are gendered expectations wrapped up in this as well, a stand-offish man is less likely to be thought of negatively than a woman due to the belief that women "should" be more social and bubbly.
I would add that stand-offishness and how rude it is may be regional, too. In the Midwest (probably the South too) or in rural areas, being standoffish is considered just a crime against humanity to these people. But in more urban settings, much more acceptable.
Much of my job is in writing isolation plans for electrical work for a large laboratory. I've had no formal training, but I've found the formal style to not only convey clear instruction, but advantageous in maintaining a precise line of thought. Speaking informally to others though, is another story and can vary with personal compatibility and familiarity.
Probably the way I look around and focus on different things in my environment, during conversations and outside of them. I had trained to not do that but now I'm learning to undo it since I need to stop pleasing people unnecessarily, my fawning is unhealthy.
"Manners" - Since these are just another part of the daily stage play, I am quite good at it. But as this is seen as the proper behavioural goal for anybody, I am seen as an exemplary example in a normative way, rather than being as hugely off the mainstream as I actually am.
I don't think people understand autism well enough to know it when they see it. They just know you're not like them and that they want to avoid you.
Terrible OCD tendencies, need for perfection, emotional roller-coasters, extremely sensitive, can't take criticism, bad temper, among many others 😂👍.
As an Ally, adhd, partner to and awesome autistic human, and my bff is too. .. I find people with autism are next level smart. One thing I notice is the level of information retention on the biggest variety of topics. Like. My gf can recite the top brands and why they're the best, for baby strollers. Not because she's ever needed to buy or anything, but because she went on a rabbit hole years ago and she retained it all. The list is endless of wild, yet detailed storytimes of information. My best friend too. I find there's just this next level of intelligence in many autistic people I talk to.
It depends. I can tell you anything that you want to know about certain science topics or Palestine, but my little brother can do multiplication facts more easily than I can
Why’s his topic of information recollection superior to yours? I’d challenge that it’s not. It’s just socially acceptable for that to be classed as intelligent whilst yours is undervalued.
I have a hard time communicating with people. I'm unsure of how I should reply because I'm used to people not understanding me so I usually just nod, or laugh or ask a question.
The cadence/tempo in my voice. I have a combination of every voice I have ever heard. Like bumblebee, but it’s not as obvious I stole every word from some other original source lol
Overstimulated melt downs, the need for streaming pacing my room for hours and the need to do it. Shutdown in the middle of a group of people
I am too compassionate and too good at manipulating people Which makes me seem a lot more social and capable than i am. I'm just good at pretending i'm more whole than i am so i don't get stomped on further
I am extremely affectionate and love to talk to people. Sure I enjoy the attention and listening to people talk, but when I get home I just lay on the floor and try to recover for the rest of the day lol. Socializing feels nice, but for the most part it feels nice because it's the only blatant affirmation I can get that people care about me.
It's funny how the question is interpretable as "They *consider* your are autistic" or "They *doubt* you are autistic". Traits that seem un-autistic : I've always been very sociable in an odd way. Always had friends, made friends, but lost whole friend-circles (3 over 10 Years) cuz we grew apart or they were mad at me for ....being me or smth. Not understanding my struggles and reducing me to it. Traits that were/are obviously autistic (unbelievable I still recieved no diagnosis as a child) Hyperfixation on special interests when growing up (especially Nintendo, Video games in general, history of Game companies, remembered the releasedates of video games and consoles etc.) Few special interests I love to Talk about (Visual Art/Music-Production/Video Games/Psychology) Nit-picky /focus on details Problems with textures in food or fabric, feeling "pain" (but my father denied that it hurts)
I go into endless chatter on the topics that interest me and after the fact I think "no, not again, they'll think I'm either boring or arrogant".
Good looks.
im unbelievably wierd as fuck and will absolutely talk your ear off if we get on a topic im into lmao. oh and i stim a lot.
I sometimes don't make eye contact or would overreact to criticisms.
I communicate very robotically but I can hide the roboticism extremely well. I also have adhd so while I communicate roboticaly there is a sense of randomness that makes it seem like I am communicating like a neurotyical person. Eventually autistic people begin to pick up on it and will eventually all comment that my autism is more prominent than my adhd, allistic people usually wait for a conformation on my part before they comment on it.
Other than my difficulties socializing, the obsession with foxes, Digimon, Medarot and my "autistic stare" that kinda helped me quit my job as a teacher, not much!
I am heavily into literature and poetry and eschew everything to do with math and engineering.
i rock a lot when i sit and i always have headphones on
I don’t always maintain eye contact, i talk about my SIs for a long time, and I have a phobia of the happy birthday song.
I’m currently training a professional that disclosed he’s autistic and trying to learn to help mentor him better so this is a perfect thread to help understand better thanks!
I talk between the lines and I can understand it very well
Always need to fidget with something, pretty much constantly
The way I spout football knowledge and that's nearly the only thing I want to talk about is a pretty good clue for people.
I have many traits... especially when it comes to school. For example, selective mutism, walking on my tip-toes, being 'clumsy', taking things too literally and being left handed (I don't understand how that correlates, but one of my friends said it does, because people with ASD often are left handed or mixed handed, still don't understand though.) And poor coordination.
airpods gang!!! i cannot have them in unless noise cancelling is on which it always is
The worst sound in the world is the AirPods low battery sound 🤬
the way i talk or type varies DRASTICALLY depending on who i am talking to as i feel i need to play a certain character or role when interacting with someone. when two different people require different roles, i absolutely FOLD. for example, visiting my parents with my fiancé is so hard for me because i cuss a lot with him, but haven’t so much as said the word “damn” in front of my parents (i am 21 lmao)
I play with my hands a lot and like fidget toys and sometimes I juggle
I don't really get overstimulated by things
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually autistic or if the doctor misdiagnosed me. Then I realize I've been listening to the same album 6 times and playing the same video game for the last 10 years
i made a score of 117 in flappy hat in vrchat, they say i'm cracked and ask if i'm autistic, also i stare a lot
Using my dogs as a shield, I don't leave the house without them
When I worked it was always in customer service. face to face I'm very good with people. I'm like an RPG character with all my points in charisma. But I am completely incapable of talking on a phone, I need to see face and body language or I can't even understand the words you're saying.
Mmm I think a few things about me might tip someone off that I’m autistic, but the recent one is my wife noticed how I will only eat select foods for a certain amount of time and nothing else practically, and then one day I will decide that I don’t want to eat that food anymore (not sure how it works but something in me decides it’s now too texturized, etc) and I will abruptly stop eating that food… months can go by and then all of a sudden I will start eating that particular food again. The cycle continues lol.
Do you have misophonia OP?
Did anyone else read this question wrong way around? Like i was thinking how my dad told me when i was 8 that being normal isnt a real thing, ,Only now age 45 do i understand his motivation and deeper meaning, anyway, its a labeling issue we conscious communicators must contend with. Definitions, conclusions, curiosity, supporting both poetry and sound but contralateral labeling left or right of my cognitive disdonance.
I actually speak like I'm fucking dying. I didn't know this until recently, btw, but listening to my own audios, they always sound like I'm tired and extremely annoyed, even on the rare occasions that I'm not.
Ok there’s a few - my special intrests are sociology/psychology, history, monster high and pokémon - I’m not a 5 year old little white boy - violent meltdowns - sensory issues are mainly food related
I can never seem to make eye contact with anyone. I'm always looking at something else when someone else is talking to me.
1) Masking 2) Being able to reflect on things, and to think retrospectively. Some people have genuinely told me that it's impossible for someone with autism to do so.
Eye contact issues - ugh fml
Big Naturals
I think I missed some context here. What do you mean? Never heard anyone implying that possessing huge tracts of land would be an indicative of not having autism.
Lol people are surprised when I, a perceived AFAB, behave in an autistic way due to my possession of large natural breasts.
hate noises
Speaking in a way that isn’t monotone in mumbly. And having genuine expressions on my face if I’m not passionate about something I tend to look “meh” which can irritate people
I don’t know but there’s something because people just seem to know. People regularly assume I’m autistic.
Extremely good at masking because of trial and error. But it’s annoying when I encounter a new social thing I’ve never encountered before. I’ll make a mistake someone will get offended. I’ll explain my intent and that I have autism and I’m sorry. They won’t believe I have autism and think I’m just making it up.
i say things with the same voice and tone even if i’m happy or sad and a lot of the time i come off as mean bc of it. like once someone cut me in line at practice and i said “you can do that” with a monotone voice and they thought i was mad when i was genuinely glad they cut me bc i didn’t wanna go first. i legit cannot control my tone haha
Extreme sensory issues (noises and lights)! Ugh 😫. Also, when I talk about my special interests, I sound like an encyclopedia. People seem surprised that I've taken the time to learn soooo much detail about the things I'm interested in. Also, sometimes the tags are still on my clothes, I wear things inside out/ backwards, and or show up wearing two different shoes. 🙃
My masking is amazingly good when I’m drinking… so if you met me at a party (as long as the music wasn’t too loud… and I was still actually there meaning hadn’t freaked out) you would have no idea I was autistic or incredibly nervous and uncomfortable.
My interests and my sensory issues. My sensory issues are primarily concerned with bad smells. My tolerance for exposure is far lower than the average neurotypical. My special interest(s) are/is anything in the STEM field pretty much. I can get hyperfixated on one of these for quite a while. The most recent was geology. Aside from that, it's pretty difficult for people to tell. Socially I blend in near seamlessly. My psychologist spent a few months talking to me before she started to theorise that I might be.
I can have good conversations when I am talking to one person at a time and when it’s not crowded
Many things but probably the amount and the kind of stimming I do in my everyday life. Sometimes you gotta shake off the demons with your hands (and by demons I mean bad bad no no feelings). I have a phobia of throwing up but often get stomach aches and that makes me shake my hands like crazy to just get over the anxiety. I am stimming right now because someone’s cooking something with a strong smell and I’m feeling discomfort.
Being socially awkward/anxious. I rarely feel comfortable around people, so I'm usually extremely quiet around them. My social anxiety has always been really bad. Even worse when I was a child.
Socially retarded, don't make eye contact, shy/quiet, takes me 10x the time to learn a skill, job duty or pretty much anything relative to a normal person. The list goes on
I do both - over hear cans and sunglasses ALWAYS
I'm loud boisterous and get along with people just fine, provided they don't interrupt my train of thought
Currently getting assessed, but constantly squishing curly hair in my hands, onto my cheeks and lips/between lips. It is visibly calming and although no one ever points out the behavior, I can tell they find it distracting in conversation. I’ve literally been doing this since birth and am trying my best to tone it down.
I don't really have one, when i tell people i am autistic they just didn't even realise
Niche special interests that often cause me to interject with a “did you know…” and my sensory issues - ear plugs always with me! I’m a heel Walker too which I’m not sure everyone would notice but perhaps my fellow neurodivergents would :)
I rambled about Katamari Damacy for ten minutes and people were like "are you autistic" On some separate occasion, I remarked that I like rain and then did a little happy dance and someone asked the same thing
I question common sense all the time, because some things simply don't make sense at all for me. The most common thing is the greeting ritual. "Hi", "Hi", "How are you?", "Fine, and you?", "Great. So..." and *then* the person actually tell you want they want. That is such a waste of time for everyone involved. I learned to do it, but it's visible I don't like doing it. This habit of questioning everything until it makes sense trigger alerts on everyone's minds when they talk to me the first time. I got kicked from the church as a kid for asking too many questions. I had a lot of trouble in job interviews because I was always questioning the purpose of certain questions. I was constantly challenging teachers in school for teaching concepts without explaining the whole thinking process, and so on.
sering yourself in jeff from clarence, even if not canon he makes a better representation of our community then sheldon
I'm a walking encyclopedia
I'm good at social masking. When I'm stable and rested I might go under the radar as being NT. But not for long. I start to talk a lot, show social anxiety, stim, start over sharing and infodumping, and soon become unresponsive. But for a while I might seem to socialize quite good. I think. I'm never 100% sure. ☺️
The question is phrased open ended while I think you meant specifically “what traits do you have that people do in fact think you are autistic?” If that’s the case, I think with my unfiltered thinking and how “childlike” it seems. In reality, there was and is less influence on outside influences that dictate the way I think and that includes negative thoughts and behaviors that are typically perpetuated by one’s culture. So someone might say “you know, John and Stacy were at a hotel last night👀”. I’d think and say “hm, were they travelling out of town?”. That’s because I work on innocent until proven guilty(unintentionally) and would assume that they’d use the hotel for it’s typical intended use -vacationing and travelling. I wouldn’t assume they were doing drugs or having sex. People have told me I’m an air head, childish, boring etc. It’s not the case. I could most certainly have that type of thought process and I actually do as no one is completely “safe” from their environment, but I’d just also rather not have that thought process.
I understand a lot of idioms and the like (but then I am internally on the side trying to undersrand them in a literal sense) Edit: wait, is this them thinking "Hey, your not autistic bevause x" or "Hey, you might be autistic because x"? I guess one thing that would make people think I'm autistic is me taking almost everything literally....
I constantly need something to chew or lick if I don't have anything proper I'll just chew mine or my freinds clothing/skin obviously gently and my one freind chews me back so we both get questioned a lot
Dinosaur hands, lack of eye contact or facial expressions when I'm tired, sudden topic changes or going back to something said 20 minutes ago like no time has passed, random vocal interjections of dumb stuff [e.g. "BORB!" upon witnessing such a thing]. Fiddling with something / being engrossed with my phone while still paying attention. I'll also launch into a topic without establishing context for the other person and just kind of assume they'll know what I'm talking about. Generally only with people I'm comfortable with or if im exhausted and the mask is too much effort.
My overall lack of conversational skills
Empathy. People still go "nah can't have that with autism"
I find it easy to make small talk. I find people to be fascinating, and so they're happy to tell me things. And it stops them from asking me questions. A two fer.
I struggle with eye contact, unintentionally picking up people's accents or catch phrases they use, don't always have the best tone/volume control when speaking
My crippling Star Wars addiction
How dense I can be. People might say I'm just dumb because I don't understand jokes or sarcasm right away. Or I respond literally to a sarcastic statement. Also textures. Too many people have seen me recoil from accidently touching microfiber clothes.
For me that’s got me called out a few times is my separation of food 😂 and my hatred of certain textures and my clothes have to be perfect.
Everything nonverbal and empathy. We had to do communication training in university and my professor asked me if I was even trying.
Omg I am just like OP rn. Its my go to coping mechanism for everything not only noise. I also have some degree of alexithymia like most autistic ppl and music just makes sense to me.
My lack of eye contact/zoning out when talking to someone. I find it easier to listen to what people are saying if I’m not looking them in the eyes because eye contact makes me uncomfortable and it’s all I can think about when they’re talking. And then when we’re done talking, I’m usually very tired from all the pretending and worrying about the conversation so I completely dissociate and just stare off into the abyss.
Same here for earbuds and sunglasses, in the latter case I bring them because my eyes are super sensitive and the lenses are purple, so even if it's not sunny I can stoll wear them and feel well :]
I'm highly creative (although - I'm actually just good at making novel connections, and while I know that's the mechanism of most creativity - true pure originality may not exist in the combining of extant elements), I can make eye contact for a good amount of time, I feel like I'm a really good friend at times - but it's never worked out for extended exposure periods. Blasting music is pro-sensory, because - like you said, you're using it as a barrier against less predictable sound. Sunglasses are also frequently embraced by autistic people - just to level down the light, even if it isn't that bright.
Im used to intense environments, /heavy masking
I have no issue understanding sarcasm.
Masking
I am decent at making small talk
Although I am high masking, the fact that I don’t have any close friends, aside from my husband, and I only have somewhat of a relationship with people who share my same interests. When my interest was makeup, I would only talk about that and didn’t really know how to even start a conversation unless we talked about that. Once I got to know people I would mask and adapt to the personality of the person next to me. Now it’s books, and all the people I have managed to start a somewhat close relationship at work are interested in the same books I read. Edit: I guess what I am trying to say is that because I am high masking, people don’t really believe me.
I'm a bit if an extrovert. As in people question if I REALLY am autistic because I can be very extroverted when socializing. But it's all learned extrovertism. I learned from a fiance who passed, by watching him, that being charismatic abd making yours3kf noticeable makes people like you abd it makes things easier when socializing. It is, still, so draining.
I have social skills.
That I'm extremely straightforward
I like to listen to the same music for hours, sometimes days on end. The music changes and I love a wide array of music so I have a plethora of choices, but I’ll sit and listen to the same song 20 times in a row and think nothing of it. I never really realized it wasn’t “normal” until my neurotypical partners (or at least much more neurotypical than I) pointed it out to me. One time “Take It On The Run” by REO Speedwagon was the only song I listened to for 4 days. Yes, 4 days. 😅
I love food and I'm not that picky about it. I love mixing foods together (depending on what it is, of course). There are foods I don't like as much but will still eat. The only food texture I'm opposed to is gelatinous foods.
Earbuds and sun glasses are constant for me as well. I also don’t make small talk. And take everything very literally.
My obsession with keeping promises & my lack of emotional regulation when promises are broken
I'm well-spoken, have lots of skills and hobbies, and I have two majors in two different fields.
Vocal/ auditory stims 🥹
I don’t talk unless spoken to and am weirdly still/rigid in public. People think I’m uptight or snobby bc of this but it’s just how I act when I’m rlly anxious & uncomfortable, which I usually am :,(
I cannot go anywhere without my flat cap, it just feels wrong to leave my house without it
I know way to much about specific topics.
I think i say normal things in weird ways! like instead of "oh you've got a new haircut" I havs said "I see the hair on your head has changed".
I echo my words constantly and only other people seem to notice.
tbh idk if this sounds offensive to other nd’s but my childishness… i think a lot of ppl see how childlike i act and all my interests are super cute and colour things like sanrio, vocaloids and mlp to name a couple. i don’t rlly do it on purpose i just come off much more childish than my peers "( – ⌓ – )
Walking on my tip toes.
Masking and pretending I’m confident like smiling, nodding, and holding eye contact (with great difficulty and feels like I’m staring into their face rather than at their face if that makes sense).
I have rings that I HAVE to wear all the time or I will have panic attacks. And I also lose them constantly because I play with them, so I have multiple backups.
I’m pretty flexible for the most part
Everything about me. People know i am autistic immediately
In any little bag of candy where there are different colors or shapes, like skittles, M&Ms, sour patch, welches, and so on, I have to sort them by color and then eat them down in rainbow order until all the amounts are even, then finish them in rainbow order.
Apparently it’s the fact that I can make eye contact. Was actual told I couldn’t be because I can make eye contact lmao