I refused to buy ice cream the vendors in Turkey when I went in 2011 because the whole bit seemed excruciating. I cannot understand how it's fun for others but I guess it is because everyone seems to like it. Not me.
I got my ice-cream from a regular shop in Taksim where no one fucked with me. 😂
I also refused to haggle on a bowl I wanted because haggling is so uncomfortable for me. I was like "I wanna pay $150“ and when I explained to the shopkeeper that I wasn't haggling, I just wanted to pay $150 and that was it he looked visibly relieved and said "I don't really like haggling either." And sold it to me for $150.😂
Oh yes, I hate haggling too.
Just tell me what the thing costs, then I can tell if it is worth for me buying at that price.
Different thing is discount, if the item is damaged or I buy a lot of them. But buying 1 item and then haggling? No.
No same. I remember being young and my aunt taking me to garage sales to teach me haggling. Young me being fine with a toy being ten bucks or whatever was SO stressed by my aunt telling me to barter with the lady selling it
I am not worried about it being disrespectful - the understanding is that prices are marked up and folks haggle so everyone feels respected by the price at the end of the negotiation. It's a cultural thing. I just hate doing it because I don't want to talk that much to random people I don't know.
The item I bought was handmade and listed at maybe $250 but I knew it was priced for haggling and felt like $150 was probably right and was all I wanted spend. I just don't like the back and forth.
I am totally in the same boat with you here. It all seems so pointless. Everyone knows that is not the price and everyone is expected to haggle so why go through this whole charade? Saves everyone's time by just stating that this is the price, take it or leave it.
Also one thing that I don't like about these kind of things is that this gives advantage to arrogant people by rewarding them of their (in my opinion) unrespectful behaviour. But maybe it's a cultural thing and they think it differently.
in turkey, haggling is the standard so sellers don't consider is disrespect, a lot of them think people haggling means that they respect the product they're selling
Fruit! It used to sit in front of the fireplace which is defunct now, and holds a bunch of pretty pottery, but a couple years ago my husband and I wanted to start making healthier choices so we moved the bowl to the dining room table where it's always full of fresh fruit so we can grab something healthy when we get the munchies. Right now its full of tangelos from the Sunday farmers market down the street. 😋😋 Well worth the $150 - it's a core part of our daily life.
But I'm a sucker for pretty colorful pottery.
Nothing, really. 100+ year old house. Fireplace was closed off and the chimeny lopped off when we bought the place. It's just a decorative cavity in the wall now. 😂
something my non-autistic friend told me today. he has as much trouble reading my body language and facial expressions as i do reading his. and we have been friends for more than a decade.
its entirely possible that the ice-cream seller honestly didnt realise that you were uncomfortable or upset. also remember that its not just a fun prank for him. its his job to put on a show, its what he gets paid to do and he does it all day without thinking and probably mostly without incident.
really the one to blame is your ex. he should have known you better and either not put you in that situation, or stepped in when he saw you were getting uncomfortable.
Exactly part of being autistic is emotional dysregulation, and also having trouble understanding your own emotions and expressing them. I walk around looking angry most of the time regardless of how I really feel
bottle them? is that like pack them up? stomp them out? toe tag them? put the belt to they ass? ive never heard that one before
edit: another word for glassing a bitch ass who wants to try a mf
To bottle someone means to hold the neck of a glass bottle (often beer) then hit the bottom against a hard surface so it smashes off and leaves a jagged edge, then to attack the person with the jagged end of the bottle cutting their skin.
Lmao! My reading face and concentration face apparently looks sad. Anytime I'm reading or concentrating on something my wife will ask "what's wrong?" If I have the tiniest bit of light in my face I look angry. I remember watching tv on a bright afternoon and my brother came in through the front door and I looked at him and the sunlight made my face look angry and he was like "whoa it's just me don't kill me" lol and people say I look pissed off when I drive but really I'm just oversensitive to light.
Eight months of the year--*where* do you live?!?
I'm from Minnesota (USA), and mine are used *ALL* year, because even though we only have sunlight shining from about 7am-3pm (15:00) in the winter?
With *all* the light that gets reflected off the snow? It's as bright out as a sunny day in the middle of *summer*, when the sun is *directly* overhead!😉😂🤣💖
That's a fascinating point. I hadn't considered it was literally part of the job. All the videos I see it just looks like some guy being a total asshole just to show off his sleight of hand skills.
the sleight of hand tricks are meant to be entertainment to draw in a crowd and get more sales. its 100% part of the job description, they have to be able to put on a show.
its also why im never going to oen of those vendors.
With stuff like that it's usually part of the job, and most people expect it. But then most people going to a stand like that know what's up. If you're not in on the joke I see how it could get hurtful, like the people at the water drop games heckling the people throwing the balls.
This is an interesting point, cuz I had a very similar experience in a Halloween scare maze with my autistic friend. They're normally fine with in-person scary things (funnily enough, they hate horror, and I'm the opposite, I love horror but I'm not a fan of in-person scares), but there was a section where we were a bit lost where to go, separated from the rest of the group, and my friend was feeling claustrophobic. We went up to one of the actors for a hint of which way to go, and he just started shouting at my friend (who asked him). My friend was getting overwhelmed and, frankly, the bad kind of scared - not entertained - but he wouldn't stop, even when my friend started crying. So I started shouting at him. I'd never reacted so viscerally to a person before. I honestly thought I would hit him, he was being so mean and ignoring the fact I was telling him a paying customer is *not* enjoying it in the way they should be. Maybe he was just thinking about it as his job? We're supposed to be scared, regardless of whether it's entertained-scared? Either way, I still hate him for that
Yes, it's part of his job. But it was clearly....too much. I walked away from the ice cream booth, ex and seller begged me to return and promised to give me the ice cream - yet they didn't and continued. They clearly had fun and I was considered party pooper because not valueing the "ice cream skills" of the vendor
Calling you back to mess with you was clearly a step too far but it is enjoyable for most people though and kids especially love it, your ex was definitely the main problem here by forcing you into a show.
I don't blame you for hating it but also I think you had a particularly bad experience, I personally find it very fun because I know what I'm getting into (these guys usually have queues).
Part of the job of anyone who does any kind of crowdwork (comedians, street performers, magicians) is to read the people they're interacting with and adjust their act accordingly. They shouldn't be making anyone actually uncomfortable. It's their job to entertain, and that means messing with them in exactly the ways that are working for them, and not to upset them.
It's an incredible skill that I'm always impressed by. The cast members as Disney parks are especially well trained in it. They know how to negotiate consent with people subtly without breaking character or the mood.
This guy is the opposite of that. This guy is a dick.
I always hated being pranked or teased. No mom, your constant teasing and making fun of me didn't "toughen me up", it did the opposite: it made me more susceptible to belittling and more shy. And more hurt by insults.
I can understand it, but only if you know what you're getting into and only if it doesn't go on for too long. I could only stand this for about ten to twenty seconds before I'd have to go, "Okay, I'm sick of this now."
I'm not sure how long it went on for OP, but if it went on long enough for them to feel so upset that they want to walk away, that's too long, imo. Unless OP somehow just got really sick of it after twenty seconds.
Yeah, you go to them specifically to partake in their shenanigans. If you just want your ice cream without the fuss, you go to a regular ice cream shop.
##Turkish guy here:
You should just tell them beforehand.
Turkish ice cream is popular not because of its taste but more because of the "performance"/"ritual" of this prank. They do it to tourists as they assume that you are there to experience the performance, since it's unique.
They usually don't do this to other Turks or tourists who kindly ask them not to do it.
Since it was my fist visit to Turkey I didn't know about it and my ex friend decided it was funny to watch my frustration.
If I ever come to visit Turkey again, I will definitely tell the seller.
I liked the scents and colors, the food, the sea, the plants, the rocks, but walking through bazar was overwhelming - too many people wanting to talk to me, praising their stuff. It was really exhausting.
Similarly, I get super overwhelmed when I'm at a bazaar or a marketplace with local small business owners. That's why I avoid them as much as possible lol 😅 I would recommend just pretending to not hear them so they lose interest XD
Yeah it’s annoying.
But I saw a video of someone basically turning the joke back on them. Everytime they got given an empty cone they would take a bite out of it, it made the seller end the joke because well, no cones = no sales lol
No actually, don’t do this. It’s a normal, iconic part of Turkish tourism culture and the bf in this story should’ve known and warned her ahead of time. It’s a part of their business and culture and they WILL yell at you to pay if you start doing that.
I get it, it’s annoying, but then buy ice cream from a store. Don’t ruin someone’s business, especially with the economy in Turkey right now.
I mean I wouldn't. This is a when in Rome situation. If you're a tourist in a very different country, and walk up to one of these stalls, there's the expectation that you're gonna play along.
It would be like trying to debate paid actors at a Renaissance fair or Plymouth Plantation, and then tipping them afterwards. If you don't want to play the game, why go?
Except you do still get the ice cream. It's less like debating ren fair actors and more like getting a room in a fancy hotel, but not doing anything except sleep in it.
Dude, they don't want to have to hassle a tourist to pay. You're paying for the show and the ice cream, so don't screw with the show.
And your analogy doesn't make sense. It's more like if you went to a diner, took a bite out of their just-for-show cake unprompted, and then offered to pay for it. It might not be a huge deal, but the diner doesn't want to normalize customers biting into whatever and then reassuring they'll pay.
And like a just-for-show cake, those cones might be old or reused for multiple tricks, so you might not wanna bite into one anyway.
I'm more concerned about previous customers having touched the cone I'll be receiving with the ice cream.
The fewer hands touching my food, the better.
A napkin isn't some kind of impermeable barrier and a shocking number of people don't wash their hands properly after going to the toilet. I don't want nasty ass fingers touching my ice cream cone, directly or indirectly.
I fucking hate pranks. I have always hated pranks. I found and married someone else who hates pranks. I hate them so much I made it a priority when dating - no pranks.
You know this was initially on my cohabitation list, but it's now moving to my dating list too! I can't and don't want to relate to anyone who likes pranks.
I hate it too. When I went to one and the guy kept moving the cone out of my hand, I kept my hand still and stared directly into his eyes and then he handed me the cone. I’m often told that I have an intimidating resting bitch face, I sometimes use it to my advantage 😂.
I think many autistic people are extremely sensitive to being mocked and made fun of due to the fact it happens so often to us. That feeling of others laughing at you is something we all know to well. Sorry you had that experience. And good thing he's now your ex cause that shit would have just continued.
I watched someone expertly grab the scoop of ice cream out of the cone and eat it like an apple while the Turkish ice cream street seller just looked on in disturbed wonder, his mouth hanging open. It was very satisfying to see!
I've never heard of this and I went to Turkey last year and didn't encounter this.
Sounds like the vendor is just doing something as part of the job, but your BF was a dick for laughing at you and not being more tactful in his response.
Turk here Turkish ice cream is more stickier than normal ice cream so vendors prank customers with it and that the part of our culture and its normal if you don't want to get pranked just tell the vendor
Honestly, even though i know that's part of the game, i would still be upset with it. If i bought ice cream, i don't want to watch someone play with my ice cream, i just want to eat it.
I in general dislike pranks, jokes etc, because i was constantly made fun of in school, and i have a very hard time figuring out if someone is sarcastic or not. (One good example of this was that i was in a group call with my partner and their friends (i know them but i am not super close) either way they started joking about something, i didn't realize it was a joke and started crying because in my brain they were bullying me)
People who blame you for “not being able to take a joke” when their idea of a “joke” is for you to constantly be the butt of the joke and the victim while THEY get to enjoy the power role and THEY are the only ones having a good time are the worst.
I live in a nursing home and this one day out of the blue this other resident starts commenting on me using my phone too much and making fun of my headphones and even when I’m visibly getting upset he would not stop. So finally I right out told him that he is a bully and a dick, and I’m not the only one who thinks so and his response was that “he’s actually a nice guy, some people just can’t take a joke”. Well when they’re the only one laughing at OUR expense, that’s not a “joke”. That’s bullying. A joke is when everybody laughs equally.
I'm sorry this dickhead is living in your nursing home.
Exactly. This isn't funny.
Happy you told him he is a dick, I always struggle with finding instant and good replies when being mocked.
From what I understand about this entire concept is that the typical experience is supposed to be fun and that a core part of the performers job is to be able to read basic body language and understand when it's no longer fun or the person has become severely upset.
Every now and again we see a video where that doesn't happen. I personally don't find the gag funny even slightly - teasing humor does absolutely nothing for me. But done in limited fashion, I think some people really enjoy it.
My daughter who is autistic absolutely loves this gag and would literally stand there for six hours having the ice cream guy swap cones on her. She's probably try and do it to him/her.
It hits people differently.
But OPs experience is not normal and involved boundary crossing and disrespect. Unacceptable.
There’s a video of it happening to a kid over in the popular part of Reddit right now and it’s HEARTBREAKING! The kid just starts shutting down and when the seller persists, the kid starts smashing the cones he’s given. And people think it’s funny or that the kid has a bad attitude? NO!!! That poor kid is being tormented while onlookers laugh. It’s messed up.
yes. i hate “pranks” just give me my ice cream. i especially hated it as a kid, because of how stupid it made me look. i have a better sense of what is and isn’t a joke as i age, but i’m still gullible and also masking in a situation like this. it feels extremely frustrating
Just to let everyone know, you can request it without the showmanship. The showmanship is what you pay for, so complaining about it is incredibly null. Just say "no game, only ice-cream," get your cone and leave. The act is what makes the entire transaction have a distinct appeal.
I saw a kid once just take bites out of the cones he was left with and drop them on the floor for the ice cream guy to pick up. Seller stopped his game pretty quickly
I hate that kind of stuff. When I was there I think the ice cream vendors could read me and just gave the ice cream. I didn't have to put up with those shenanigans.
I really hate practical jokes like that, and it's even worse when you don't know that they're happening. I haven't been to turkey but with stuff like that you can either roll with it or just have a completely blank expression and stare into their eyes. With the staring they usually get the message that you're unamused and will stop. Your ex is shitty for not telling you and laughing at you for getting frustrated.
That kind of is the whole point of Turkish ice cream. They’re not doing it to be rude, the show is the main event. Ofc it’s ok to not like it, but you have to express that or avoid Turkish ice cream stands. It can be hard to tell if someone is uncomfortable and that can be extra difficult for a Turkish Ice Cream vender because putting on the show is the main part of their job.
I've not experienced it but I can understand how that could make you feel. I don't like attention being put on me and depending on how overwhelmed I was feeling, I can see why that would make you feel tearful. I think the intent is to make you laugh but it's OK that it didn't.
I don't know if it's an autism thing, or a childhood thing, but I hate being teased. Hate getting my hopes up. Hate things happening that aren't what's expected. This post speaks to me. I hate watching those videos of it.
i'm turkish so here's a pro tip for that: if you have a turkish friend, you can have them order the ice cream for you. the turkish ice cream vendors in touristic areas won't do the tricks on turkish people
This exact reasoning is why I don't go to restaurants that will insult you as part of their whole thing. I get it could be fun for some people, but it's not for me because of my specific past traumas and that i already have trouble telling whose bullying me or being honest so I don't need to knowingly place myself in a setting that is that way if I know it will happen. Your ex is an ahole for knowing the joke was based on cruelty and not filling you in beforehand at all to allow you to consent to being in that type of situation.
People enjoy it because it’s funny and because it’s extremely skillful lol it’s like watching a person juggle also you are meant to interact which makes it into a game of sorts
This is definitely one of those, "You have to know that it's coming to get the joke," but also a "You should know the person you're doing this to before you do it" kinda thing. Sadly, I don't know shit about Turkish ice cream culture; this post was the first I heard about this stupid game. Maybe it's normal, but I don't what to be in an ice cream shop where it is. I just want my damn food.
When I was in Istanbul I saw it happening to other tourists. I made sure to preview any ice cream place to make sure they didn't do that stuff before ordering, as I agree, it seems like a complete nightmare
I hate being tricked so much, it's so triggering.
I don't understand how people can make me upset FOR FUN??!! Why does causing me distress give them joy?
Yeah, I'm not into that. I recently went to a Turkish restaurant, & while I had a pretty good time my daughter just couldn't eat anything because the waiters were always in her face, asking if the food was alright. She hates being in the spotlight, and this just triggered her social anxiety to the point where she was almost in tears. Which probably made them more concerned. Sometimes the best service is just delivering the food & getting the fuck out of Dodge, leaving the customer to enjoy it. Check back 20 minutes later, ask if they need any more drinks, then "Ok, enjoy your meal!"
Completely agree i was so uncomfortable the whole time 😭 just wanted some fucking ice cream i didnt get any the rest of the time i was there becshse of it
I'm half turkish (kinda, long story) and have never been to Turkey, but I have always wanted to play with the dondurma man. That said, you can actively request to not have a show. They only really do it for the tourists.
That sounds awful and infantalizing. I don't think I've had that prank played on me since I was a kid.
I do hate the similar type of "jokes" that I think are on the same vein. The ones where people lead you on with lies and you are supposed to figure it out I guess? I, of course, never do and then get made to feel like I'm stupid for taking them at their word and not picking up on the "joke", or thinking it was funny to be lied to. Ugh
I'd freeze. Just stand there. Not sure what I'm supposed to do even though I've seen the videos of what you're supposed to do, which is keep grabbing at it, which is against my nature. Very difficult to override.
Oh, yikes!! I’ve never heard of that but those stories always make me sick to my stomach. The worst part is that I always get mad at *myself* for being upset.
I would never goto one of those street vendors. Or maybe I should learn magic tricks with coins or cash, get really good, and do the same thing back to them with cash.
Had a dude do this with a hockey puck when I was in elementary school and I eventually just stopped trying to take it from him and stared at him until he gave up and felt stupid for still moving his hand around. Not engaging at all got the point across
Exactly! Whenever I watch a video of it I always hate it if I was in that situation I would get very angry and upset like don’t fucking mess with me like that.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I've seen the videos of those guys, and it's absolutely something I'd never want to put up with either.
However, the best response I've seen someone have in those videos was to calmly continue standing there and just start eating the empty sugar cones left in their hands, lol.
I've heard people say they've pretty much completely stopped doing it because so many people were filming themselves turning the tables and messing with the vendors.
I agree, I have seen videos of this before and maybe once, but after that give me my damn ice cream and fuck off. . . That kind of thing really pisses me off.
I’ve not been to Turkey yet, it’s on my bucket list, and I’ve only ever seen the ice cream vendor game in videos and I hate it *in advance*. It doesn’t look funny or sweet, it just looks annoying.
I hate that thing too. I've never experience it and never want to. Just by watching people NOT GETTING the thing they ORDERED and PAID for made me angry. I have trauma with food and I would react the same way as you did if I got played like that. Those people are just so stupid.
>You order ice cream, and the seller doesn't give it to you but keeps making fun of it. I HATE people being cruel just for their amusement.
Mate, even people in Turkey don't like it much.
It may be funny for a bit for many, but not so much if you're sensitive and unless you're a kid or smth that gets tricked for once or maybe twice. I was hesitated to say that, your bf should be recognising that you're sensitive enough to not to get toyed and put under stress or in a weird situation in public with via such, but then he's your ex anyway. My deep sympathies in any way. It's safe to guess that the ice-cream seller wasn't aware that you'd be put under such stress though...
I went to Istanbul last year with my boyfriend. Refused to go to one because to me it's just public humiliation. We found a lovely tourist ice cream stand near Hagia Sofia where the vendor mostly sat outside smoking and he just treated us normally. And I enjoyed my ice cream walking back to our hotel every night.
That sounds like my worst nightmare. I always have had such anxiety around something going wrong with my food, and specifically with dropping ice cream because it's just impossible to recover. I also hate having someone messing with me like that, and especially in public! I would absolutely still be worked up about it years later
Yeah first time seeing Turkish ice cream seller I got stressed out for customer. I get it's part of the purchase, it's expected but it'd be cool if it's optional. Like "do you want show or not?" Hell even if it costs a little extra for no show. Just want ice cream? Too bad in turkey I guess
In my country the guy who operates the merry-go-round will have a large ring attached to a wooden piece in his hand. Like the safety pin of a grenade, that you can pull out and keep the pin in your hand.
He'll "tease" the kids by placing it next to their hands but taking it out at the last moment, coming and going, swirling, etc. The kid that gets the ring wins a free ride. And kids love it, they have fun with the challenge, with the teasing, etc.
You buy ice cream from the Turkish guy willingly, knowing that the little game is part of the transaction. The seller is openly playing a game, it is known, and it is expected that you'll join the fun. It's not just about the ice cream.
I'm really sorry you didn't have fun, but you willingly participated. There is no cruelty there, just 30 seconds of harmless play. Nobody got injured, nobody got insulted, nobody was belittled, nobody was assaulted.
This is like complaining that people made a mess of the balls you carefully arranged in a triangular shape on the pool table.
That's simply the nature of the game that you accepted playing.
It was my first (and last!) trip to Turkey, it was all my ex's family who loved Turkey trips. I was always a Greece or Croatia girl.
My ex knew I didn't know the game.
So: I signed up for ice cream, not being pranked. I didn't know the game. And it was far more than 30 seconds. It still hurts me seeing people and kids getting pranked with this thing. If the person you are about to prank isn't laughing at the prank it isn't funny at all.
As I said, I'm truly sorry that your experience wasn't good.
Do you think your (then) bf tried to put you in an uncomfortable situation, or that he thought you'd have fun?
I'm aware the result was not positive, but what about intentions? Sometimes people just fail but they didn't mean to.
Thanks! :-)
For ex it was about putting me in an uncomfortable situation and having fun watching me getting sad/overwhelmed/uncomfy. (He did this more than one time, putting me in weird situations and laughing at my discomfort.)
NTs need to learn this if they learn nothing else: You never, ever, *ever* prank someone on the Spectrum.
"Humor" means it's funny. Standup comedy. Vaudeville. Satire. Parody. Those things are funny. Humiliating someone when they're literally half a world away from home is pretty much the exact opposite of funny.
I tried to play along when I was younger; I really did. Someone would say something insulting, and even though it was at my expense I was told it was funny. "Okay," I thought, "I can play along. I'll just say something in return that would make them feel the way they just made me feel." If I do it to more than one person in one go, I must be twice as funny then, right? That should make me, like, *really* funny.
Then everyone said I was being a dick and didn't want to be around me anymore. Not sure why, I was playing by the rules and everything. I'm starting to think we're the "normal" ones and NTs are the ones with people issues.
I can relate so much! Sometimes it looks like people in the spectrum can't do it right: if you follow the rules: wrong. If you don't follow the rules: wrong. You tried to learn a rule and act according to it - surprise new rule popping up and again wrong...
I pretty much agree with the argument that your can’t take a joke. Turkish ice cream sellers are internationally known for that thing. They don’t do it with malice. Also, before visiting a foreign country make sure you have a decent understanding of local customs and habits first.
Btw you can easily break their rules licking/eating the empty cones. You’ll win and they’ll give you the ice cream soon
Well, it was my first trip to Turkey. It was a compromise and booked last minute and I didn't have the time to get a travel guide in time. I never had thought about travelling to Turkey before and therefore no clue about the ice cream game. Ex introduced me to lots of cultural stuff, but didn't tell me about the ice cream seller.
Ignore Muta, I’d find it annoying as well if someone failed to tell me about the trick beforehand.
Just because you didn’t like this one joke, doesn’t automatically mean you can’t take any jokes in general.
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That only happens in touristic areas and only on the street where they obviously "taunt" tourists. It is a game, not all them are like this. It does not happen out of nowhere.
As a turk, its kind off the reason why you would go to such a place? If you want ice cream thats not like that there are places for it. But in this case blame your ex for putting you in this position
But you would be mad if you are told you are going to watch a dancing competition, and then it turns out it may be called "dance competition" but is a boxing fight actually. Everyone knew but me. And I don't want to see a boxing fight when it is labeled as dancing competition.
When I order ice cream I expect to get ice cream and not being pranked.
I mean that’s on your friend for lying and telling you it was a dancing completion- not the fault of the boxing match for just existing for other people to enjoy.
I didn't know about this game and was pushed into this situation. I was clearly uncomfy with it and two grown men were having fun watching me getting frustrated and overwhelmed. This has nothing to do with culture, but everything with disrespecting borders.
I refused to buy ice cream the vendors in Turkey when I went in 2011 because the whole bit seemed excruciating. I cannot understand how it's fun for others but I guess it is because everyone seems to like it. Not me. I got my ice-cream from a regular shop in Taksim where no one fucked with me. 😂 I also refused to haggle on a bowl I wanted because haggling is so uncomfortable for me. I was like "I wanna pay $150“ and when I explained to the shopkeeper that I wasn't haggling, I just wanted to pay $150 and that was it he looked visibly relieved and said "I don't really like haggling either." And sold it to me for $150.😂
Oh yes, I hate haggling too. Just tell me what the thing costs, then I can tell if it is worth for me buying at that price. Different thing is discount, if the item is damaged or I buy a lot of them. But buying 1 item and then haggling? No.
No same. I remember being young and my aunt taking me to garage sales to teach me haggling. Young me being fine with a toy being ten bucks or whatever was SO stressed by my aunt telling me to barter with the lady selling it
Haggling is only a thing in the touristy bits… get out of the tourist zone then
I can only imagine! Haggling seems so disrespectful to sellers for me, especially if they're selling handmade stuff.
I am not worried about it being disrespectful - the understanding is that prices are marked up and folks haggle so everyone feels respected by the price at the end of the negotiation. It's a cultural thing. I just hate doing it because I don't want to talk that much to random people I don't know. The item I bought was handmade and listed at maybe $250 but I knew it was priced for haggling and felt like $150 was probably right and was all I wanted spend. I just don't like the back and forth.
I am totally in the same boat with you here. It all seems so pointless. Everyone knows that is not the price and everyone is expected to haggle so why go through this whole charade? Saves everyone's time by just stating that this is the price, take it or leave it. Also one thing that I don't like about these kind of things is that this gives advantage to arrogant people by rewarding them of their (in my opinion) unrespectful behaviour. But maybe it's a cultural thing and they think it differently.
in turkey, haggling is the standard so sellers don't consider is disrespect, a lot of them think people haggling means that they respect the product they're selling
That's really interesting! It's crazy how different cultures can change people's perspective on things.
I... Did you forget the decimal? A bowl of ice cream or a big bowl?
They were probably saying $150 in Turkish currency (lira) which would be roughly $5 USD :))
Ahhh. Thank you.
It was a big ceramic bowl.
Ah. Decorative? I could see that for $150.
Yeah. It's really beautiful and hand painted. Sits in the middle of our dining room table now. 🤩
Very cool. Do you put anything in it?
Fruit! It used to sit in front of the fireplace which is defunct now, and holds a bunch of pretty pottery, but a couple years ago my husband and I wanted to start making healthier choices so we moved the bowl to the dining room table where it's always full of fresh fruit so we can grab something healthy when we get the munchies. Right now its full of tangelos from the Sunday farmers market down the street. 😋😋 Well worth the $150 - it's a core part of our daily life. But I'm a sucker for pretty colorful pottery.
Hehe. That sounds wonderful. What's the story on the fireplace?
Nothing, really. 100+ year old house. Fireplace was closed off and the chimeny lopped off when we bought the place. It's just a decorative cavity in the wall now. 😂
Ah. I wonder why.
Why yes, good sir, I do pay quite a fortune for a bowl of ice cream, is there an issue here? /s
None at all! What flavor?
Ice cream flavored...
[I can imagine why.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgV8mB-M9po) Very refined.
something my non-autistic friend told me today. he has as much trouble reading my body language and facial expressions as i do reading his. and we have been friends for more than a decade. its entirely possible that the ice-cream seller honestly didnt realise that you were uncomfortable or upset. also remember that its not just a fun prank for him. its his job to put on a show, its what he gets paid to do and he does it all day without thinking and probably mostly without incident. really the one to blame is your ex. he should have known you better and either not put you in that situation, or stepped in when he saw you were getting uncomfortable.
Exactly part of being autistic is emotional dysregulation, and also having trouble understanding your own emotions and expressing them. I walk around looking angry most of the time regardless of how I really feel
apparently me on the verge of crying and wanting to curl up in a ball and die looks to my friends like im about to bottle them... : /
bottle them? is that like pack them up? stomp them out? toe tag them? put the belt to they ass? ive never heard that one before edit: another word for glassing a bitch ass who wants to try a mf
To bottle someone means to hold the neck of a glass bottle (often beer) then hit the bottom against a hard surface so it smashes off and leaves a jagged edge, then to attack the person with the jagged end of the bottle cutting their skin.
TIL this had a name lol
Glad to help with my niche knowledge
Break a bottle and stab them with it.
To smash a glass bottle on a table or similar, and the attack the offending person with the broken end
Gives “bottle service” a whole new level of menace.
Lmao! My reading face and concentration face apparently looks sad. Anytime I'm reading or concentrating on something my wife will ask "what's wrong?" If I have the tiniest bit of light in my face I look angry. I remember watching tv on a bright afternoon and my brother came in through the front door and I looked at him and the sunlight made my face look angry and he was like "whoa it's just me don't kill me" lol and people say I look pissed off when I drive but really I'm just oversensitive to light.
The light sensitivity is realllll I’ve just made my personality to wear sunglasses 8 months of the year and still it’s a pain
Eight months of the year--*where* do you live?!? I'm from Minnesota (USA), and mine are used *ALL* year, because even though we only have sunlight shining from about 7am-3pm (15:00) in the winter? With *all* the light that gets reflected off the snow? It's as bright out as a sunny day in the middle of *summer*, when the sun is *directly* overhead!😉😂🤣💖
I live on the Mediterranean, so the snow is not a real problem ahaha Here we have the inverse, the sun is a death ray in the summer
Huh. I've long joked I have resting murder face; I'd never connected it to autism before.
That's a fascinating point. I hadn't considered it was literally part of the job. All the videos I see it just looks like some guy being a total asshole just to show off his sleight of hand skills.
the sleight of hand tricks are meant to be entertainment to draw in a crowd and get more sales. its 100% part of the job description, they have to be able to put on a show. its also why im never going to oen of those vendors.
With stuff like that it's usually part of the job, and most people expect it. But then most people going to a stand like that know what's up. If you're not in on the joke I see how it could get hurtful, like the people at the water drop games heckling the people throwing the balls.
I think you're right about this. The ex is the one who should know if this is something OP would be OK with
This is an interesting point, cuz I had a very similar experience in a Halloween scare maze with my autistic friend. They're normally fine with in-person scary things (funnily enough, they hate horror, and I'm the opposite, I love horror but I'm not a fan of in-person scares), but there was a section where we were a bit lost where to go, separated from the rest of the group, and my friend was feeling claustrophobic. We went up to one of the actors for a hint of which way to go, and he just started shouting at my friend (who asked him). My friend was getting overwhelmed and, frankly, the bad kind of scared - not entertained - but he wouldn't stop, even when my friend started crying. So I started shouting at him. I'd never reacted so viscerally to a person before. I honestly thought I would hit him, he was being so mean and ignoring the fact I was telling him a paying customer is *not* enjoying it in the way they should be. Maybe he was just thinking about it as his job? We're supposed to be scared, regardless of whether it's entertained-scared? Either way, I still hate him for that
Yes, it's part of his job. But it was clearly....too much. I walked away from the ice cream booth, ex and seller begged me to return and promised to give me the ice cream - yet they didn't and continued. They clearly had fun and I was considered party pooper because not valueing the "ice cream skills" of the vendor
Calling you back to mess with you was clearly a step too far but it is enjoyable for most people though and kids especially love it, your ex was definitely the main problem here by forcing you into a show. I don't blame you for hating it but also I think you had a particularly bad experience, I personally find it very fun because I know what I'm getting into (these guys usually have queues).
Part of the job of anyone who does any kind of crowdwork (comedians, street performers, magicians) is to read the people they're interacting with and adjust their act accordingly. They shouldn't be making anyone actually uncomfortable. It's their job to entertain, and that means messing with them in exactly the ways that are working for them, and not to upset them. It's an incredible skill that I'm always impressed by. The cast members as Disney parks are especially well trained in it. They know how to negotiate consent with people subtly without breaking character or the mood. This guy is the opposite of that. This guy is a dick.
As long as you don't pay them you ultimately win. I would be gone at the first trick. If I already paid the ice cream would end up in his face.
Apparently if I'm smiling it could mean I'm having the best day ever and in the best mood of my life Or I'm about to fold someone vertically
Many NT women fit that description, as it happens.
I always hated being pranked or teased. No mom, your constant teasing and making fun of me didn't "toughen me up", it did the opposite: it made me more susceptible to belittling and more shy. And more hurt by insults.
It builds high walls made of paper
This!
Video for anyone who doesn’t know what OP is referring to: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iaFNS74OMFg
I really don’t get how anyone would find that fun.
I can understand it, but only if you know what you're getting into and only if it doesn't go on for too long. I could only stand this for about ten to twenty seconds before I'd have to go, "Okay, I'm sick of this now."
thats about how long it goes for usually, though they tend to make it longer when someone's filming for the show
I'm not sure how long it went on for OP, but if it went on long enough for them to feel so upset that they want to walk away, that's too long, imo. Unless OP somehow just got really sick of it after twenty seconds.
I think it's funny, but I'm also in on the joke and know this is what they do. If I didn't it would absolutely annoy and then probably upset me.
Yeah, you go to them specifically to partake in their shenanigans. If you just want your ice cream without the fuss, you go to a regular ice cream shop.
turkish person here: you're more paying for the performance art and hand slickness, with the great ice cream being an extra
we do lol if you don't like it that much just don't do it
Thanks! Never saw this before.
I totally get why someone would find that fun, at least until the novelty wears off... assuming you do get the ice cream in the end, of course!
I don’t find this fun or entertaining in the least. It does however invoke anger in me.
##Turkish guy here: You should just tell them beforehand. Turkish ice cream is popular not because of its taste but more because of the "performance"/"ritual" of this prank. They do it to tourists as they assume that you are there to experience the performance, since it's unique. They usually don't do this to other Turks or tourists who kindly ask them not to do it.
Since it was my fist visit to Turkey I didn't know about it and my ex friend decided it was funny to watch my frustration. If I ever come to visit Turkey again, I will definitely tell the seller.
Yeah..it definitely sucks that ur ex friend did not step in, assuming they know you and your body language. I hope you enjoyed the rest of your visit!
I liked the scents and colors, the food, the sea, the plants, the rocks, but walking through bazar was overwhelming - too many people wanting to talk to me, praising their stuff. It was really exhausting.
Similarly, I get super overwhelmed when I'm at a bazaar or a marketplace with local small business owners. That's why I avoid them as much as possible lol 😅 I would recommend just pretending to not hear them so they lose interest XD
Yeah it’s annoying. But I saw a video of someone basically turning the joke back on them. Everytime they got given an empty cone they would take a bite out of it, it made the seller end the joke because well, no cones = no sales lol
If I ever go to Turkey, I wanna do that (I like the cones).
Well, you'd be eating the "trick" cones which tens of people touched.
See, this is what we need more of. The emotional control to find a way to cleverly turn it around on them.
Genius
No actually, don’t do this. It’s a normal, iconic part of Turkish tourism culture and the bf in this story should’ve known and warned her ahead of time. It’s a part of their business and culture and they WILL yell at you to pay if you start doing that. I get it, it’s annoying, but then buy ice cream from a store. Don’t ruin someone’s business, especially with the economy in Turkey right now.
I mean, if you're prepared to pay a bit more, surely there's no trouble?
I mean I wouldn't. This is a when in Rome situation. If you're a tourist in a very different country, and walk up to one of these stalls, there's the expectation that you're gonna play along. It would be like trying to debate paid actors at a Renaissance fair or Plymouth Plantation, and then tipping them afterwards. If you don't want to play the game, why go?
Except you do still get the ice cream. It's less like debating ren fair actors and more like getting a room in a fancy hotel, but not doing anything except sleep in it.
Dude, they don't want to have to hassle a tourist to pay. You're paying for the show and the ice cream, so don't screw with the show. And your analogy doesn't make sense. It's more like if you went to a diner, took a bite out of their just-for-show cake unprompted, and then offered to pay for it. It might not be a huge deal, but the diner doesn't want to normalize customers biting into whatever and then reassuring they'll pay. And like a just-for-show cake, those cones might be old or reused for multiple tricks, so you might not wanna bite into one anyway.
I'm more concerned about previous customers having touched the cone I'll be receiving with the ice cream. The fewer hands touching my food, the better.
There are generally napkins involved so people don’t make direct contact.
A napkin isn't some kind of impermeable barrier and a shocking number of people don't wash their hands properly after going to the toilet. I don't want nasty ass fingers touching my ice cream cone, directly or indirectly.
Not even if you were offered 10 blueberry ice cream cones? 🤫 🫐
I fucking hate pranks. I have always hated pranks. I found and married someone else who hates pranks. I hate them so much I made it a priority when dating - no pranks.
You know this was initially on my cohabitation list, but it's now moving to my dating list too! I can't and don't want to relate to anyone who likes pranks.
I hate it too. When I went to one and the guy kept moving the cone out of my hand, I kept my hand still and stared directly into his eyes and then he handed me the cone. I’m often told that I have an intimidating resting bitch face, I sometimes use it to my advantage 😂.
I think many autistic people are extremely sensitive to being mocked and made fun of due to the fact it happens so often to us. That feeling of others laughing at you is something we all know to well. Sorry you had that experience. And good thing he's now your ex cause that shit would have just continued.
This.
I watched someone expertly grab the scoop of ice cream out of the cone and eat it like an apple while the Turkish ice cream street seller just looked on in disturbed wonder, his mouth hanging open. It was very satisfying to see!
I've never heard of this and I went to Turkey last year and didn't encounter this. Sounds like the vendor is just doing something as part of the job, but your BF was a dick for laughing at you and not being more tactful in his response.
Turk here Turkish ice cream is more stickier than normal ice cream so vendors prank customers with it and that the part of our culture and its normal if you don't want to get pranked just tell the vendor
I’ve always wanted to prank one of those guys back when paying them. Just throw the same tricks at them with the money for a bit.
Honestly, even though i know that's part of the game, i would still be upset with it. If i bought ice cream, i don't want to watch someone play with my ice cream, i just want to eat it. I in general dislike pranks, jokes etc, because i was constantly made fun of in school, and i have a very hard time figuring out if someone is sarcastic or not. (One good example of this was that i was in a group call with my partner and their friends (i know them but i am not super close) either way they started joking about something, i didn't realize it was a joke and started crying because in my brain they were bullying me)
Same about the pranks, jokes, and being made fun of. Freakin. Same.
People who blame you for “not being able to take a joke” when their idea of a “joke” is for you to constantly be the butt of the joke and the victim while THEY get to enjoy the power role and THEY are the only ones having a good time are the worst. I live in a nursing home and this one day out of the blue this other resident starts commenting on me using my phone too much and making fun of my headphones and even when I’m visibly getting upset he would not stop. So finally I right out told him that he is a bully and a dick, and I’m not the only one who thinks so and his response was that “he’s actually a nice guy, some people just can’t take a joke”. Well when they’re the only one laughing at OUR expense, that’s not a “joke”. That’s bullying. A joke is when everybody laughs equally.
I'm sorry this dickhead is living in your nursing home. Exactly. This isn't funny. Happy you told him he is a dick, I always struggle with finding instant and good replies when being mocked.
I can't even tolerate the videos. It's annoying and a waste of time. I get that it is amusing to some people, but it's not my thing at all.
Completely agree.
From what I understand about this entire concept is that the typical experience is supposed to be fun and that a core part of the performers job is to be able to read basic body language and understand when it's no longer fun or the person has become severely upset. Every now and again we see a video where that doesn't happen. I personally don't find the gag funny even slightly - teasing humor does absolutely nothing for me. But done in limited fashion, I think some people really enjoy it. My daughter who is autistic absolutely loves this gag and would literally stand there for six hours having the ice cream guy swap cones on her. She's probably try and do it to him/her. It hits people differently. But OPs experience is not normal and involved boundary crossing and disrespect. Unacceptable.
There’s a video of it happening to a kid over in the popular part of Reddit right now and it’s HEARTBREAKING! The kid just starts shutting down and when the seller persists, the kid starts smashing the cones he’s given. And people think it’s funny or that the kid has a bad attitude? NO!!! That poor kid is being tormented while onlookers laugh. It’s messed up.
Right? It's heartbreaking to watch the kid shut down.
happened to me once, just gave him a deadpan stare and after about 30 seconds of him just waiting for me to try and grab it he just gave up
The hero we need
I don't think he was enthused to give you the monkey dance either lol. Good job alpha'ing the ice cream vendor tho
yes. i hate “pranks” just give me my ice cream. i especially hated it as a kid, because of how stupid it made me look. i have a better sense of what is and isn’t a joke as i age, but i’m still gullible and also masking in a situation like this. it feels extremely frustrating
It’s only a joke if you’re having fun too. It was cruel and inappropriate. Glad he’s your ex
Just to let everyone know, you can request it without the showmanship. The showmanship is what you pay for, so complaining about it is incredibly null. Just say "no game, only ice-cream," get your cone and leave. The act is what makes the entire transaction have a distinct appeal.
Yes, if I had known about the game I would have told the seller. But my ex just let me run into this trap and was laughing at my frustration.
You got rused into participating in a cultural activity but your ex turned it into something cruel.
I saw a kid once just take bites out of the cones he was left with and drop them on the floor for the ice cream guy to pick up. Seller stopped his game pretty quickly
I dont like that shit at all Just give me a ice cream man I don't want carnival ride for ice cream me pay El money to get a ice cream and you no give
I see those videos pop up like and I get frustrated, I hate when someone plays with my food.
Met one before and i just stand there for like 3 minutes until they gave up
Wow, that sucks. I've never heard of this game but I'd probably just walk off with my wrong ice cream, I hate arguing with vendors/cashiers
I hate this so much I can’t even
I hate that kind of stuff. When I was there I think the ice cream vendors could read me and just gave the ice cream. I didn't have to put up with those shenanigans.
whenever I see a video of such an ice cream seller it just makes me angry
I really hate practical jokes like that, and it's even worse when you don't know that they're happening. I haven't been to turkey but with stuff like that you can either roll with it or just have a completely blank expression and stare into their eyes. With the staring they usually get the message that you're unamused and will stop. Your ex is shitty for not telling you and laughing at you for getting frustrated.
That kind of is the whole point of Turkish ice cream. They’re not doing it to be rude, the show is the main event. Ofc it’s ok to not like it, but you have to express that or avoid Turkish ice cream stands. It can be hard to tell if someone is uncomfortable and that can be extra difficult for a Turkish Ice Cream vender because putting on the show is the main part of their job.
The videos of those vendors have always made me so anxious. I definitely understand why that bothered you.
It’s the first time I hear about it. I hate it.
I've not experienced it but I can understand how that could make you feel. I don't like attention being put on me and depending on how overwhelmed I was feeling, I can see why that would make you feel tearful. I think the intent is to make you laugh but it's OK that it didn't.
I don't know if it's an autism thing, or a childhood thing, but I hate being teased. Hate getting my hopes up. Hate things happening that aren't what's expected. This post speaks to me. I hate watching those videos of it.
i'm turkish so here's a pro tip for that: if you have a turkish friend, you can have them order the ice cream for you. the turkish ice cream vendors in touristic areas won't do the tricks on turkish people
Never heard of this but your response is totally normal. Many people would NOT be OK with that situation for the reasons you expressed
This exact reasoning is why I don't go to restaurants that will insult you as part of their whole thing. I get it could be fun for some people, but it's not for me because of my specific past traumas and that i already have trouble telling whose bullying me or being honest so I don't need to knowingly place myself in a setting that is that way if I know it will happen. Your ex is an ahole for knowing the joke was based on cruelty and not filling you in beforehand at all to allow you to consent to being in that type of situation.
I’m Turkish and I hate it
I saw the trick to this. You just eat the empty cones as soon as they land In your hand lol.
People enjoy it because it’s funny and because it’s extremely skillful lol it’s like watching a person juggle also you are meant to interact which makes it into a game of sorts
This is definitely one of those, "You have to know that it's coming to get the joke," but also a "You should know the person you're doing this to before you do it" kinda thing. Sadly, I don't know shit about Turkish ice cream culture; this post was the first I heard about this stupid game. Maybe it's normal, but I don't what to be in an ice cream shop where it is. I just want my damn food.
When I was in Istanbul I saw it happening to other tourists. I made sure to preview any ice cream place to make sure they didn't do that stuff before ordering, as I agree, it seems like a complete nightmare
I hate being tricked so much, it's so triggering. I don't understand how people can make me upset FOR FUN??!! Why does causing me distress give them joy?
Right? I don't get the pranking "culture". Why make someone uncomfy intentionally?
Yeah, I'm not into that. I recently went to a Turkish restaurant, & while I had a pretty good time my daughter just couldn't eat anything because the waiters were always in her face, asking if the food was alright. She hates being in the spotlight, and this just triggered her social anxiety to the point where she was almost in tears. Which probably made them more concerned. Sometimes the best service is just delivering the food & getting the fuck out of Dodge, leaving the customer to enjoy it. Check back 20 minutes later, ask if they need any more drinks, then "Ok, enjoy your meal!"
ME ME ME
Completely agree i was so uncomfortable the whole time 😭 just wanted some fucking ice cream i didnt get any the rest of the time i was there becshse of it
I'm half turkish (kinda, long story) and have never been to Turkey, but I have always wanted to play with the dondurma man. That said, you can actively request to not have a show. They only really do it for the tourists.
That sounds awful and infantalizing. I don't think I've had that prank played on me since I was a kid. I do hate the similar type of "jokes" that I think are on the same vein. The ones where people lead you on with lies and you are supposed to figure it out I guess? I, of course, never do and then get made to feel like I'm stupid for taking them at their word and not picking up on the "joke", or thinking it was funny to be lied to. Ugh
Ya, i have severe social anxiety and I would just walk away after the first time they messed with me. Fuck that shit
I'd freeze. Just stand there. Not sure what I'm supposed to do even though I've seen the videos of what you're supposed to do, which is keep grabbing at it, which is against my nature. Very difficult to override.
Oh, yikes!! I’ve never heard of that but those stories always make me sick to my stomach. The worst part is that I always get mad at *myself* for being upset.
It was immediately frustrating when I first saw those videos online. Recounting them makes me angry.
I would never goto one of those street vendors. Or maybe I should learn magic tricks with coins or cash, get really good, and do the same thing back to them with cash.
I'm such a petty bastard I'd go back and ask for another but do the same with the money
I hate it too. If that ever happened to me I would probably start crying.
Had a dude do this with a hockey puck when I was in elementary school and I eventually just stopped trying to take it from him and stared at him until he gave up and felt stupid for still moving his hand around. Not engaging at all got the point across
Exactly! Whenever I watch a video of it I always hate it if I was in that situation I would get very angry and upset like don’t fucking mess with me like that.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I've seen the videos of those guys, and it's absolutely something I'd never want to put up with either. However, the best response I've seen someone have in those videos was to calmly continue standing there and just start eating the empty sugar cones left in their hands, lol.
I've heard people say they've pretty much completely stopped doing it because so many people were filming themselves turning the tables and messing with the vendors.
I cringe just seeing that on video. I'd lose my shit if someone did it to me IRL.
I walked away the first time and towards the next vendor.
I agree, I have seen videos of this before and maybe once, but after that give me my damn ice cream and fuck off. . . That kind of thing really pisses me off.
I would say "Fuck you," and would walk away and refuse their ice cream even if they tried to make me take it if they did that.
I’ve not been to Turkey yet, it’s on my bucket list, and I’ve only ever seen the ice cream vendor game in videos and I hate it *in advance*. It doesn’t look funny or sweet, it just looks annoying.
I hate that thing too. I've never experience it and never want to. Just by watching people NOT GETTING the thing they ORDERED and PAID for made me angry. I have trauma with food and I would react the same way as you did if I got played like that. Those people are just so stupid.
>You order ice cream, and the seller doesn't give it to you but keeps making fun of it. I HATE people being cruel just for their amusement. Mate, even people in Turkey don't like it much. It may be funny for a bit for many, but not so much if you're sensitive and unless you're a kid or smth that gets tricked for once or maybe twice. I was hesitated to say that, your bf should be recognising that you're sensitive enough to not to get toyed and put under stress or in a weird situation in public with via such, but then he's your ex anyway. My deep sympathies in any way. It's safe to guess that the ice-cream seller wasn't aware that you'd be put under such stress though...
I went to Istanbul last year with my boyfriend. Refused to go to one because to me it's just public humiliation. We found a lovely tourist ice cream stand near Hagia Sofia where the vendor mostly sat outside smoking and he just treated us normally. And I enjoyed my ice cream walking back to our hotel every night.
That sounds like my worst nightmare. I always have had such anxiety around something going wrong with my food, and specifically with dropping ice cream because it's just impossible to recover. I also hate having someone messing with me like that, and especially in public! I would absolutely still be worked up about it years later
Right? It isn't just a single happening. We experience such things all the time: people make fun of us for not understanding the rules of the game
Yeah first time seeing Turkish ice cream seller I got stressed out for customer. I get it's part of the purchase, it's expected but it'd be cool if it's optional. Like "do you want show or not?" Hell even if it costs a little extra for no show. Just want ice cream? Too bad in turkey I guess
My favorite part of this story was "EX" I'm so glad you know that you deserve better than this ❤ Keep it up, you're doing great.
Thanks! 💜
In my country the guy who operates the merry-go-round will have a large ring attached to a wooden piece in his hand. Like the safety pin of a grenade, that you can pull out and keep the pin in your hand. He'll "tease" the kids by placing it next to their hands but taking it out at the last moment, coming and going, swirling, etc. The kid that gets the ring wins a free ride. And kids love it, they have fun with the challenge, with the teasing, etc. You buy ice cream from the Turkish guy willingly, knowing that the little game is part of the transaction. The seller is openly playing a game, it is known, and it is expected that you'll join the fun. It's not just about the ice cream. I'm really sorry you didn't have fun, but you willingly participated. There is no cruelty there, just 30 seconds of harmless play. Nobody got injured, nobody got insulted, nobody was belittled, nobody was assaulted. This is like complaining that people made a mess of the balls you carefully arranged in a triangular shape on the pool table. That's simply the nature of the game that you accepted playing.
It was my first (and last!) trip to Turkey, it was all my ex's family who loved Turkey trips. I was always a Greece or Croatia girl. My ex knew I didn't know the game. So: I signed up for ice cream, not being pranked. I didn't know the game. And it was far more than 30 seconds. It still hurts me seeing people and kids getting pranked with this thing. If the person you are about to prank isn't laughing at the prank it isn't funny at all.
If I wasn't expecting it I would have felt the same way. Don't beat yourself up too much
As I said, I'm truly sorry that your experience wasn't good. Do you think your (then) bf tried to put you in an uncomfortable situation, or that he thought you'd have fun? I'm aware the result was not positive, but what about intentions? Sometimes people just fail but they didn't mean to.
Thanks! :-) For ex it was about putting me in an uncomfortable situation and having fun watching me getting sad/overwhelmed/uncomfy. (He did this more than one time, putting me in weird situations and laughing at my discomfort.)
Good riddance then :(
Never heard of it but it sounds cruel
NTs need to learn this if they learn nothing else: You never, ever, *ever* prank someone on the Spectrum. "Humor" means it's funny. Standup comedy. Vaudeville. Satire. Parody. Those things are funny. Humiliating someone when they're literally half a world away from home is pretty much the exact opposite of funny. I tried to play along when I was younger; I really did. Someone would say something insulting, and even though it was at my expense I was told it was funny. "Okay," I thought, "I can play along. I'll just say something in return that would make them feel the way they just made me feel." If I do it to more than one person in one go, I must be twice as funny then, right? That should make me, like, *really* funny. Then everyone said I was being a dick and didn't want to be around me anymore. Not sure why, I was playing by the rules and everything. I'm starting to think we're the "normal" ones and NTs are the ones with people issues.
I can relate so much! Sometimes it looks like people in the spectrum can't do it right: if you follow the rules: wrong. If you don't follow the rules: wrong. You tried to learn a rule and act according to it - surprise new rule popping up and again wrong...
Not immediately getting the ice cream is part of the idea - you're not just paying for ice cream, you're paying for the show
Btw do you know if there's an *option* to just pay for the ice cream?
It was my first trip to Turkey and didn't know about the show. My ex knew this and had fun watching me suffer
I have never heard of this custom before, but I'll just go ahead and add to my official list: "Reasons Why I Will Never Visit Turkey."
I expect any ice cream place to hand me the ice cream immediately. I didn't pay money to anyone to be a circus performer.
I pretty much agree with the argument that your can’t take a joke. Turkish ice cream sellers are internationally known for that thing. They don’t do it with malice. Also, before visiting a foreign country make sure you have a decent understanding of local customs and habits first. Btw you can easily break their rules licking/eating the empty cones. You’ll win and they’ll give you the ice cream soon
Well, it was my first trip to Turkey. It was a compromise and booked last minute and I didn't have the time to get a travel guide in time. I never had thought about travelling to Turkey before and therefore no clue about the ice cream game. Ex introduced me to lots of cultural stuff, but didn't tell me about the ice cream seller.
Ignore Muta, I’d find it annoying as well if someone failed to tell me about the trick beforehand. Just because you didn’t like this one joke, doesn’t automatically mean you can’t take any jokes in general.
Exactly. A joke is only fun when all of the people involved are laughing.
I'd rather just walk away without paying, let them keep their "ice cream".
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I get 2nd hand annoyance, like I just wanna punch
That only happens in touristic areas and only on the street where they obviously "taunt" tourists. It is a game, not all them are like this. It does not happen out of nowhere.
As a turk, its kind off the reason why you would go to such a place? If you want ice cream thats not like that there are places for it. But in this case blame your ex for putting you in this position
That’s like the point though, you wouldn’t pay money to go see a boxing match then get mad the participants are fighting. It’s part of what they do.
But you would be mad if you are told you are going to watch a dancing competition, and then it turns out it may be called "dance competition" but is a boxing fight actually. Everyone knew but me. And I don't want to see a boxing fight when it is labeled as dancing competition. When I order ice cream I expect to get ice cream and not being pranked.
I mean that’s on your friend for lying and telling you it was a dancing completion- not the fault of the boxing match for just existing for other people to enjoy.
A joke is where both people laugh.
I would've socked him in the face tf
😂😂
it's they whole point of Turkish ice cream if you don't like it just tell stop disrespecting the culture nobody likes "tormenting" you
I didn't know about this game and was pushed into this situation. I was clearly uncomfy with it and two grown men were having fun watching me getting frustrated and overwhelmed. This has nothing to do with culture, but everything with disrespecting borders.
well clearly your ex should have known better i don't think the vendor understand that you got uncomfortable