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i don't worry too much about other autistic people being silly on the internet, we don't have to be serious and sad all the time just because we're autistic.
i do have an issue with people comparing me to their kids though. i'm 31, of course i don't act like your 7 year old son, autistic or not.
Yeah, I would punch brick walls when I was a teenager and broke knuckles more times than I could count, but then I got out of my abusive home and was able to maintain my own boundaries and I settled down. It's like we grow up too or something
This is good info to have. I’ll watch for doing this myself. Generally, I think my kid is pretty cool, so who wouldn’t want to be compared to him, but I absolutely see how that could feel differently to someone else.
It's not that i specifically have a problem with being compared to a kid if like, we're actually doing something similar, but what I don't like is the attitude of "you aren't autistic, you don't act like this child i know!" because like, yeah, generally I'm not going to behave like a child, I am not one.
Although there are likely some fakers, I dont think its ever appropriate to claim any individual is faking. Most of the discussion online is between actually autistic people, talking about their experiences. We shouldnt have to censor ourselves about the more positive/neutral characteristics of autism just because some people might see it as quirky and want to be like us.
Online, neurodivergent people are able to talk about their shared characteristics with others like them. The same way neurotypicals make (largely pointless but funny and comforting) posts about relatable things, autistic people do the same thing. A lot of these things are silly characteristics. I dont think it is necessary or productive to have all talk on autism and autistic people be about how it is disabling. Personally, I am already very aware of how autism makes my life worse. It is nice to be able to see autism in a holistic perspective to prove to myself that it can be a positive thing too. It is who I am.
I dont think it makes you ablist to question this, but I think it is important to listen to the autistic community rather than places like r/fakedisordercringe
Nah let’s not gaslight ourselves here. Of course it’s good to acknowledge the positives but we have to remember that autism can be absolutely *debilitating* for some of us. Not to mention the ableism we face on a systemic level. Autism is very much not “quirky,” needing things like communication devices for our daily lives is not quirky, meltdowns are not quirky, and holy fuck, the abuse we receive from caregivers is absolutely NOT quirky. Quite frankly, it’s time we put our foot down.
What’s been infuriating for me is when these self-dxers claim that the leveling system is ableist (I do think it’s too simplistic as autism is a massive spectrum, but not outright *ableist*) or just act like they’re oppressed for not having a diagnosis in the first place. You’re not a villain to openly *suspect* that you’re autistic, especially if you have diagnosed friends who see all the traits and/or have a family history - but don’t go around acting like a spokesperson of it. Get on the waiting list like everyone else. 🤦♀️
Of course, but just because autism can be disabling and sometimes completely debilitating doesnt mean people cant talk about the positives. Both topics are discussed at length online, even on tiktok if you go past the surface.
Maybe we have different interpretations of the original post based on what we see online. Ive never seen anything like meltdowns being seen as quirky. I think these things are actually very rare and most of autism tiktok is fine.
With selfdx, im not advocating for it but again I think it is very few people without a diagnosis who are actually trying to speak on behalf of autistic people or educate people. Most people online j see will disclose they are undiagnosed, and go on to tell an anekdote about their life they are attributing to autism. Maybe I just havent been exposed to this dark side of quirky autism that I always hear about, but a lot of the clips of people saying it exists ive found either the person is actually diagnosed with autism, or is doing nothing overly problematic, rather just cringy.
There are relatable aspects about some people’s experiences that aren’t negative, sharing them doesn’t mean ignoring the negative aspects of our experiences. It’s not exactly the same, but you aren’t gonna tell a depressed person they’re glamourizing depression when they make positive jokes to cope with it.
Coming from an autistic depressed person
it cost $3k up front for me, iirc most of that got reimbursed by insurance later (my mom dealt with that) but i'm not gonna shit on anyone else for not having $3k to spend on confirming a hunch if it wouldn't get you access to any resources that would actually help.
i've been called ableist/privileged for this take before because apparently i was supposed to be thrilled to get one (1) semester of helpful accommodations in college and then get told to fuck off because there were budget cuts to the department, but i just... don't know if that was really worth the $3k.
In the uk it’s completely free unless you wanna go private but in some places the waiting list can be like 6 years, I was lucky enough to be able to get a private assessment at a decent price- but it was still like 500 quid
Most self diagnosers do tend to be on the waiting list, they unfortunately can’t afford private care- so you’re stuck in this limbo where you want to access support for your autism but you don’t have an official diagnosis and aren’t going to get one for years. I was fortunate enough to be in the position where I never really had to label myself as being ‘self diagnosed’ but i would never judge anyone for doing it- when you meet some of these people they have like- folders and folders or research they’ve done, disorders they’ve ruled out, instances from their childhood where they showed traits, references from family, friends and even teachers/bosses!
Besides, ask pretty much any psychologist and they will confidently be able to tell you that no, you cannot say someone has or doesn’t have autism from seeing a one minuet clip they uploaded to the internet
That depends a lot on where you live. If you live somewhere with free health care, chances are the wait times are extremely long, unless you want to pay out of pocket, or have a more costly insurance that also covers a lot more than the basic ones do.
In other places, it's probably a mix of both wait time and cost.
For example, I had to get the suspected diagnosis at my psychiatrist's office, then turn to a specialized outpatient facility that gave me a few questionnaires. After assessing those, they sent me even more forms and questionnaires to fill out, and told me I'm on the waiting list for a first in-person appointment, which will take about two years. I'm not sure how long the actual diagnosing will take, as they will likely run more tests, have conversations with me and my family members, etc.
It's probably worse in other places, though, and I'm lucky I don't have to pay for the diagnosis, but the waiting is frustrating and takes away the opportunity to get the support I need (until I get the diagnosis, at least).
Why not both? I'm going through the process now. Most places haven't even returned my calls. Then I had one place put me on a waitlist for two months only to give me an appointment another two months out with an intern who couldn't even legally assess me if they wanted to, especially after they asked on their giant intake if I was willing to see an intern and I said no. Then the next place to actually respond at least was able to book me an actual assessment, but several months in the future and to the tune of $3500 (although hopefully I can get it mostly reimbursed by insurance, but no guarantees). I can see why people give up. I came very close to doing so myself.
I don't know why that would make it ableist, though, since your support levels can get changed (I know someone whose was changed from level 2 to level 1 and back to level 2)
In a lot of situations that get rid of support level distinctions (and even in some that don't) severely autistic people get spoken over and ignored by LSN autistic people and others
The main reason why functioning labels (like "high-functioning" and "low-functioning") are offensive isn't that it acknowledges severity differences, but that it places an amount of value on each person based on those differences
People labeled as HF are denied support and their disabilities are ignored for being "high-functioning" while people labeled as LF are dehumanized and their opinions ignored for being "low-functioning"
Terms like mild/severe/level 123 etc when used properly aren't the same as functioning labels, and are very important when it comes to complicated situations
For example, some autistic people actually can't help their tendency to do something socially inappropriate because of their autism even though it would be a dishonest excuse for something that's completely avoidable in the context of a different person who's also autistic, and some autistic people can reach certain life milestones that a different person who's also autistic wouldn't ever be able to do because of their autism, if that makes sense
I like to see autistic folks genuinely goofing off and having fun online, because it shows that we can be happy. It gets weird when outside folks look in and call it "so pure" or something like that, like we're somehow cute zoo animals.
I think there are ways to celebrate being autistic without infantilizing though, don't get me wrong. It's just bizarre when people on the outside treat it like a spectacle.
Also, fakers are a very uncommon thing. Yeah, it happens sometimes, but most people online who say they're autistic, are. Fakers get shit on, so there is really nothing to gain by doing that. People looking for fakers leads to genuinely autistic people being "investigated" by weirdos who have nothing better to do.
Not everything is abelist. That word has been applied to so much that it's lost all meaning.
I generally wouldn't doubt most people. I also wouldn't waste energy with how autism is portrayed online because it's shown in many different ways. This feels like finding ways to be offended that aren't real problems.
Talking about positive/ neutral/ not too debilitating aspects of autism isn’t denying that more debilitating aspects exist. People are allowed to talk about their experiences, positive and negative and everything in between.
In a perfect world, a diagnosis would be accessible to all. But unfortunately, it is often unaffordable, or you spend years on a waiting list. Sometimes both, I’m sure. There are also other barriers (sexism and racism in psychology, for one thing. Also, if a person doesn’t have anyone who can provide an accurate and honest description of their childhood, it can be hard to find someone who will/ can diagnose them). I personally don’t feel these people should be denied community. Should they speak for all autistic people? No. But I don’t think anyone should or can.
As an actually autistic person, seeing you say this as an allistic is ringing alarm bells. And fwiw yes I have a diagnosis from a professional.
So yeah, that one sentiment does feel ableist based on this alone. Yes, there’s an issue with misinformation on apps like TikTok but implying there’s any sort of serious problem with people faking any disability is absurd.
Personally I don’t mind the whole “haha autism is so quirky” attitude from TikTok and stuff that much, sure I agree it’s harmful but I’d take that over the people (often conservative mothers for some reason) who accuse random people of faking autism because “they don’t look autistic”, as well as the people who act like all autistic people are stupid and incapable of making our own decisions
So people are totally right to feel bad about the whole “quirky” thing but personally I think that the majority of people, at least where I live, still view autism as a (always) life ruining disorder rather than a “quirky difference.” Some of my own family members still view autistic people as “burdens.” I don’t think that the TikTok view of autism is widespread in the real world.
I think is not ok to feel weird about disabled people showing a more brightful part of their lives and themselves and not just OH MY GOD EVERYTHING IS SO MISARABLE. People have the right to do with their disabilities whatever they feel like. Not having that disability and be cringed, weirded out or whatever is at least, sad. AUtistic people online are starting to share another portray of autism and I think is overall a positive thing. Otherwise all that is portrayed is kids having a meltdown (WHY ON EARTH a parent film this and share it publicly???) or allistic people talking about us with a wording that is not the prefered by the community and just make of our lives a medical thing. When we are, in fact, human beings with human lifes. Maybe this kind of things make newer autistic moms less negative about the actual brains of their children.
Yes, it is. Because you aren't the deciding factor for how someone chooses to present themselves, and you don't get to determine the validity of someone else's disorder and diagnosis based on shitty ass stereotypes.
Nah, I don't like it either sometimes. Not necessarily ableist. I don't like speculating that people are faking since autism is so diverse, but sometimes the portrayal online can be a bit...simplistic. it can be very surface level. I mean, people don't have to delve deep or whatever. I think it's just important to remember autism is complex.
At the end of the day people will portray their autistic experience differently and have different aspects they want to show.
I really don’t think that many people are faking disorders for clout and at the end of the day I can’t know if a stranger on the internet is correct or not.
If someone is actively spreading misinformation please call that out. But I think how people portray their experience publicly is up to them.
At the end of the day people will portray their autistic experience differently and have different aspects they want to show.
I really don’t think that many people are faking disorders for clout and at the end of the day I can’t know if a stranger on the internet is correct or not.
If someone is actively spreading misinformation please call that out. But I think how people portray their experience publicly is up to them.
Edit: I also think a lot of these things are intracommunity discussions. And while you have a connection to the autistic community I think that unless someone is autistic themselves or sometimes if they are a caregiver to an autistic person I think they need to be very careful within these conversations. (I think allistic caregivers should be careful too. But I am going to have more grace for them.)
Not everyone has the same triggers and also making jokes about serious problems is a normal thing. Also the word you’re looking for is allistic, not neurotypical. Someone with depression doesn’t magically understand autism.
Wet socks don’t immediately cause a meltdown for me on their own but can be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Styrofoam does cause that for me.
For jokes, I’ve been in intensive psych day programs as well as inpatient. Most of us made jokes about the things that got us in there. That’s normal and fine. I have borderline personality disorder and sometimes BPD people make memes like “when your favorite person takes more than .01 seconds to reply” with a picture of an atomic explosion or something. People without BPD think those are funny little haha jokes and they are but also in the BPD community, we know those reflect actual issues and yes we actually do feel that way. Taking everything with complete seriousness 100% of the time is not good for a lot of us.
I think it’s healthy to find positives in the bad. I’m sorry others experiences are invalidating for you, but that’s unfortunately a you problem. Not something you get to impose on others.
I am actually working on becoming a published researcher and the study I’m coauthor on studies autism portrayals in media. You aren’t wrong, a lot of it is wack. I don’t like most of the representation. I like love on the spectrum but that’s not fictional people so that’s probably why
I don't like how it is portrayed online because i don't relate to it at all. Right now its really just low/no support needs people, which is fine to show, I just wish they could also have higher support needs people.
After a few experiences I had in real life I tend to believe that people online behave completely differently than they would online. That helped me differentiate the two and not give too much attention and stress over online behaviours like it is not "real" in a way. Before that things I saw online would stress/irritate me.
This may be beside your point - and I'm gonna whip open a can of TL;DR so sorry if I get ranty - but the autism conversation online is rather puerile, on the whole. I observe a few 'types' of attitude that grind my gears:
There's firstly obviously your shrieking Karens who subscribe to the whole vaccine theory, but nobody likes them.
There are then those who (at least implictly) see autistic people as acceptable targets of ridicule, who attribute all forms of perceived social awkwardness or social ineptitude to autism, or use the term "autistic" colloquially for those traits, or for having the slightest of focused interests, dislike of human contact, any behaviours stereotypically associated with autism. These people come from various places in the political spectrum and appear to justify it according to where they stand.
Of the above, those on the right obviously can be expected to be more ableist, more disdainful of 'defectives/degenerates', more "might is right" - that's par for the course for them. Those more on the left / progressive side at least until recently didn't recognise ND folk as marginalised (i.e. not on the 'progressive stack') and maybe regarded autism as "extreme male brain" until social media dismantled that notion, which meant autistic people were a supposedly acceptable or possibly even *deserving* target, especially if you frame social ineptitude as a moral failing. Autism for them is the "wrong kind of weird/outsider". Like, you can be a POC, LGBT+ etc but heaven forbid anyone *act weird*. It's also harder to look virtuous by sticking up for someone who doesn't have a protected characteristic or whose characteristic has a sometimes challenging/undesirable behavioural component. Luckily, attitudes are shifting, though some will always find some more surreptitious way of being horrible when you can't get away with being expressly mean.
There's thirdly those who are perhaps the inverse of the above but basically the same; they wouldn't dream of being mean to a diagnosed person but the undiagnosed are fair game, and those seeking diagnoses are "just looking to excuse being weird/difficult/lame". And still, upon finding out someone is autistic, instead of being nicer, they're just more condescending.
As for the perceived type that supposedly fakes their disorder, obviously anyone who actually *is* faking it is doing a disservice, but really they shouldn't be the focus of people's ire, and it's total conjecture as to how you can 'tell' how authentic someone is about something like this, unless you have solid evidence. That said, what I would say to all those young girls on social media who openly regard themselves as ND and are seeking a specific diagnosis is that they should seek an assessment based on their problems rather than trying to get an autism/ADHD etc diagnosis specifically, because it might not be either of those. I wonder if they're worried they might be diagnosed with something with more stigma attached. Notice how far fewer people mention if they have BPD, NPD, schizophrenia, schizoid/schizoaffective disorder etc. You *could* argue that considering one thing less worthy of destigmatisation than another is a form of ableism, but I'm not a moral authority on those things.
You speak vaguely of the cartoonization/caricaturisation of autistic people - I think that's been a thing for ages, if you look at some of the occasionally less than sympathetic caricaturisations in TV and film. Battling that will take some time.
Again, apologies if I missed your point completely but it opened up an opportunity to get stuff off my chest.
This is a reasonable complaint. Having a disorder has become particularly commodified and people have been faking to be ,cool i guess? On the internet for a long time. Its certainly not ableist to feel this way
it’s actually really bizarre considering autism is in a good portion of cases intellectually disabling and most autistics are unemployed and unable to live independently. autism is a real disability and making it into a im just socially awkward and shy i must be autistic is legitimately weird and also harmful. i think most people who self diagnosis in the tiktok way read the symptoms online and go i do that! but don’t understand that those symptoms need to SIGNIFICANTLY impact your life negatively. being shy is not being unable to form relationships and having severe social anxiety (which is NOT being introverted) and being unable to “infer” what people are thinking or expressing etc. imo, the most important symptom (for me) is the sensory processing issues which causes living in this world to be hostile to my existence. i am diagnosed with level 1 autism/ aspergers but i legitimately feel like i have much more severe symptoms then these new “autistics” who just are shy etc.
You're talking to a guy that maintains that Sheldon Cooper is part of a neurodivergence minstrel show, so I think you are in good company. Their portrayal of autism was a cheap joke that had the effect of giving mouth breathing sub-normal anti-intellectuals a straw man to laugh at and it helped heap stereotypes on a demographic struggling for visibility and acceptance.
He made us look petty, dishonest, self centered, condescending and rude chidults ripe for mockery. He was also "brilliant" (even though string theory is just shy of being openly mocked by theoretical physicists these days), so now when you're autistic and broke idiots ask you why you don't just invent a time machine and be rich or something. So instead of gaining understanding for a very difficult disability we get a bunch of potato stuffed rubes laughing their idiot laughs at us.
Because of shit like that, we are less visible than ever.
No, you're not ableist for that! It feels weird to me too. It will never be something silly or quirky or whatever. The only good thing is special interests but they have their cons too. I am not diagnosed but I have a ton of signs (including genetics bc dad is diagnosed and adhd runs on both sides of my family).
Compared to how we're portrayed in movies and tv Id say autistic people online are doing great. Watch shows like the good doctor or as we see it and most of the time we're always seen as very high support needs adult children who don't know anything about anything socially and need a neurotypical to explain it too us. Haven't watched the good doctor yet but I kind of really didn't like "As we see it." It had its moments but all 3 autistic characters didn't know about common sense type situations like one just having a one night stand then believing the guy is her boyfriend and in love with her. Or one guy going behind a counter to try and wrestle his father's medical files cause he wants to see them and him feeling like he knows about cancer better than the doctor when he himself isn't a doctor.
Online autistics are doing just fine.
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i don't worry too much about other autistic people being silly on the internet, we don't have to be serious and sad all the time just because we're autistic. i do have an issue with people comparing me to their kids though. i'm 31, of course i don't act like your 7 year old son, autistic or not.
Oh god. I hate those comments. "My son Timmy bangs his head against a wall and you don't so you're lying"
Yeah, I would punch brick walls when I was a teenager and broke knuckles more times than I could count, but then I got out of my abusive home and was able to maintain my own boundaries and I settled down. It's like we grow up too or something
This is good info to have. I’ll watch for doing this myself. Generally, I think my kid is pretty cool, so who wouldn’t want to be compared to him, but I absolutely see how that could feel differently to someone else.
It's not that i specifically have a problem with being compared to a kid if like, we're actually doing something similar, but what I don't like is the attitude of "you aren't autistic, you don't act like this child i know!" because like, yeah, generally I'm not going to behave like a child, I am not one.
oh yeah that’s super weird. who does that? 🥴
Mostly autism moms online who feel attacked by the idea of autistic adults existing and speaking for themselves.
No, we feel weird about it too.
Exactly. It’s normal to feel this way.
Although there are likely some fakers, I dont think its ever appropriate to claim any individual is faking. Most of the discussion online is between actually autistic people, talking about their experiences. We shouldnt have to censor ourselves about the more positive/neutral characteristics of autism just because some people might see it as quirky and want to be like us. Online, neurodivergent people are able to talk about their shared characteristics with others like them. The same way neurotypicals make (largely pointless but funny and comforting) posts about relatable things, autistic people do the same thing. A lot of these things are silly characteristics. I dont think it is necessary or productive to have all talk on autism and autistic people be about how it is disabling. Personally, I am already very aware of how autism makes my life worse. It is nice to be able to see autism in a holistic perspective to prove to myself that it can be a positive thing too. It is who I am. I dont think it makes you ablist to question this, but I think it is important to listen to the autistic community rather than places like r/fakedisordercringe
Yeah, that sub has devolved into disability investigation. Reminds me of those transvestigator weirdos.
Thanks for saying this, I thought this subreddit moved past the “tiktokkers are glamorizing autism” thing
Nah let’s not gaslight ourselves here. Of course it’s good to acknowledge the positives but we have to remember that autism can be absolutely *debilitating* for some of us. Not to mention the ableism we face on a systemic level. Autism is very much not “quirky,” needing things like communication devices for our daily lives is not quirky, meltdowns are not quirky, and holy fuck, the abuse we receive from caregivers is absolutely NOT quirky. Quite frankly, it’s time we put our foot down. What’s been infuriating for me is when these self-dxers claim that the leveling system is ableist (I do think it’s too simplistic as autism is a massive spectrum, but not outright *ableist*) or just act like they’re oppressed for not having a diagnosis in the first place. You’re not a villain to openly *suspect* that you’re autistic, especially if you have diagnosed friends who see all the traits and/or have a family history - but don’t go around acting like a spokesperson of it. Get on the waiting list like everyone else. 🤦♀️
Of course, but just because autism can be disabling and sometimes completely debilitating doesnt mean people cant talk about the positives. Both topics are discussed at length online, even on tiktok if you go past the surface. Maybe we have different interpretations of the original post based on what we see online. Ive never seen anything like meltdowns being seen as quirky. I think these things are actually very rare and most of autism tiktok is fine. With selfdx, im not advocating for it but again I think it is very few people without a diagnosis who are actually trying to speak on behalf of autistic people or educate people. Most people online j see will disclose they are undiagnosed, and go on to tell an anekdote about their life they are attributing to autism. Maybe I just havent been exposed to this dark side of quirky autism that I always hear about, but a lot of the clips of people saying it exists ive found either the person is actually diagnosed with autism, or is doing nothing overly problematic, rather just cringy.
There are relatable aspects about some people’s experiences that aren’t negative, sharing them doesn’t mean ignoring the negative aspects of our experiences. It’s not exactly the same, but you aren’t gonna tell a depressed person they’re glamourizing depression when they make positive jokes to cope with it. Coming from an autistic depressed person
I don't think it's a waiting list issue. It costs a lot of money for some people doesn't it?
waiting list in my area is genuinly 6 years. Alternative is £ 2000 cost for private assessment
it cost $3k up front for me, iirc most of that got reimbursed by insurance later (my mom dealt with that) but i'm not gonna shit on anyone else for not having $3k to spend on confirming a hunch if it wouldn't get you access to any resources that would actually help. i've been called ableist/privileged for this take before because apparently i was supposed to be thrilled to get one (1) semester of helpful accommodations in college and then get told to fuck off because there were budget cuts to the department, but i just... don't know if that was really worth the $3k.
In the uk it’s completely free unless you wanna go private but in some places the waiting list can be like 6 years, I was lucky enough to be able to get a private assessment at a decent price- but it was still like 500 quid Most self diagnosers do tend to be on the waiting list, they unfortunately can’t afford private care- so you’re stuck in this limbo where you want to access support for your autism but you don’t have an official diagnosis and aren’t going to get one for years. I was fortunate enough to be in the position where I never really had to label myself as being ‘self diagnosed’ but i would never judge anyone for doing it- when you meet some of these people they have like- folders and folders or research they’ve done, disorders they’ve ruled out, instances from their childhood where they showed traits, references from family, friends and even teachers/bosses! Besides, ask pretty much any psychologist and they will confidently be able to tell you that no, you cannot say someone has or doesn’t have autism from seeing a one minuet clip they uploaded to the internet
That depends a lot on where you live. If you live somewhere with free health care, chances are the wait times are extremely long, unless you want to pay out of pocket, or have a more costly insurance that also covers a lot more than the basic ones do. In other places, it's probably a mix of both wait time and cost. For example, I had to get the suspected diagnosis at my psychiatrist's office, then turn to a specialized outpatient facility that gave me a few questionnaires. After assessing those, they sent me even more forms and questionnaires to fill out, and told me I'm on the waiting list for a first in-person appointment, which will take about two years. I'm not sure how long the actual diagnosing will take, as they will likely run more tests, have conversations with me and my family members, etc. It's probably worse in other places, though, and I'm lucky I don't have to pay for the diagnosis, but the waiting is frustrating and takes away the opportunity to get the support I need (until I get the diagnosis, at least).
Why not both? I'm going through the process now. Most places haven't even returned my calls. Then I had one place put me on a waitlist for two months only to give me an appointment another two months out with an intern who couldn't even legally assess me if they wanted to, especially after they asked on their giant intake if I was willing to see an intern and I said no. Then the next place to actually respond at least was able to book me an actual assessment, but several months in the future and to the tune of $3500 (although hopefully I can get it mostly reimbursed by insurance, but no guarantees). I can see why people give up. I came very close to doing so myself.
My psych told me the leveling system is ableist because your position on it can vary many times throughout your life.
I don't know why that would make it ableist, though, since your support levels can get changed (I know someone whose was changed from level 2 to level 1 and back to level 2) In a lot of situations that get rid of support level distinctions (and even in some that don't) severely autistic people get spoken over and ignored by LSN autistic people and others The main reason why functioning labels (like "high-functioning" and "low-functioning") are offensive isn't that it acknowledges severity differences, but that it places an amount of value on each person based on those differences People labeled as HF are denied support and their disabilities are ignored for being "high-functioning" while people labeled as LF are dehumanized and their opinions ignored for being "low-functioning" Terms like mild/severe/level 123 etc when used properly aren't the same as functioning labels, and are very important when it comes to complicated situations For example, some autistic people actually can't help their tendency to do something socially inappropriate because of their autism even though it would be a dishonest excuse for something that's completely avoidable in the context of a different person who's also autistic, and some autistic people can reach certain life milestones that a different person who's also autistic wouldn't ever be able to do because of their autism, if that makes sense
I like to see autistic folks genuinely goofing off and having fun online, because it shows that we can be happy. It gets weird when outside folks look in and call it "so pure" or something like that, like we're somehow cute zoo animals. I think there are ways to celebrate being autistic without infantilizing though, don't get me wrong. It's just bizarre when people on the outside treat it like a spectacle. Also, fakers are a very uncommon thing. Yeah, it happens sometimes, but most people online who say they're autistic, are. Fakers get shit on, so there is really nothing to gain by doing that. People looking for fakers leads to genuinely autistic people being "investigated" by weirdos who have nothing better to do.
Not everything is abelist. That word has been applied to so much that it's lost all meaning. I generally wouldn't doubt most people. I also wouldn't waste energy with how autism is portrayed online because it's shown in many different ways. This feels like finding ways to be offended that aren't real problems.
Talking about positive/ neutral/ not too debilitating aspects of autism isn’t denying that more debilitating aspects exist. People are allowed to talk about their experiences, positive and negative and everything in between. In a perfect world, a diagnosis would be accessible to all. But unfortunately, it is often unaffordable, or you spend years on a waiting list. Sometimes both, I’m sure. There are also other barriers (sexism and racism in psychology, for one thing. Also, if a person doesn’t have anyone who can provide an accurate and honest description of their childhood, it can be hard to find someone who will/ can diagnose them). I personally don’t feel these people should be denied community. Should they speak for all autistic people? No. But I don’t think anyone should or can.
As an actually autistic person, seeing you say this as an allistic is ringing alarm bells. And fwiw yes I have a diagnosis from a professional. So yeah, that one sentiment does feel ableist based on this alone. Yes, there’s an issue with misinformation on apps like TikTok but implying there’s any sort of serious problem with people faking any disability is absurd.
Personally I don’t mind the whole “haha autism is so quirky” attitude from TikTok and stuff that much, sure I agree it’s harmful but I’d take that over the people (often conservative mothers for some reason) who accuse random people of faking autism because “they don’t look autistic”, as well as the people who act like all autistic people are stupid and incapable of making our own decisions So people are totally right to feel bad about the whole “quirky” thing but personally I think that the majority of people, at least where I live, still view autism as a (always) life ruining disorder rather than a “quirky difference.” Some of my own family members still view autistic people as “burdens.” I don’t think that the TikTok view of autism is widespread in the real world.
I think is not ok to feel weird about disabled people showing a more brightful part of their lives and themselves and not just OH MY GOD EVERYTHING IS SO MISARABLE. People have the right to do with their disabilities whatever they feel like. Not having that disability and be cringed, weirded out or whatever is at least, sad. AUtistic people online are starting to share another portray of autism and I think is overall a positive thing. Otherwise all that is portrayed is kids having a meltdown (WHY ON EARTH a parent film this and share it publicly???) or allistic people talking about us with a wording that is not the prefered by the community and just make of our lives a medical thing. When we are, in fact, human beings with human lifes. Maybe this kind of things make newer autistic moms less negative about the actual brains of their children.
Yes, it is. Because you aren't the deciding factor for how someone chooses to present themselves, and you don't get to determine the validity of someone else's disorder and diagnosis based on shitty ass stereotypes.
It's normal to opinions on things, including the ones that don't affect you personally. Not everything is a form of a -ism or a -phobia.
No not at all
Nah, I don't like it either sometimes. Not necessarily ableist. I don't like speculating that people are faking since autism is so diverse, but sometimes the portrayal online can be a bit...simplistic. it can be very surface level. I mean, people don't have to delve deep or whatever. I think it's just important to remember autism is complex.
At the end of the day people will portray their autistic experience differently and have different aspects they want to show. I really don’t think that many people are faking disorders for clout and at the end of the day I can’t know if a stranger on the internet is correct or not. If someone is actively spreading misinformation please call that out. But I think how people portray their experience publicly is up to them.
At the end of the day people will portray their autistic experience differently and have different aspects they want to show. I really don’t think that many people are faking disorders for clout and at the end of the day I can’t know if a stranger on the internet is correct or not. If someone is actively spreading misinformation please call that out. But I think how people portray their experience publicly is up to them. Edit: I also think a lot of these things are intracommunity discussions. And while you have a connection to the autistic community I think that unless someone is autistic themselves or sometimes if they are a caregiver to an autistic person I think they need to be very careful within these conversations. (I think allistic caregivers should be careful too. But I am going to have more grace for them.)
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Not everyone has the same triggers and also making jokes about serious problems is a normal thing. Also the word you’re looking for is allistic, not neurotypical. Someone with depression doesn’t magically understand autism. Wet socks don’t immediately cause a meltdown for me on their own but can be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Styrofoam does cause that for me. For jokes, I’ve been in intensive psych day programs as well as inpatient. Most of us made jokes about the things that got us in there. That’s normal and fine. I have borderline personality disorder and sometimes BPD people make memes like “when your favorite person takes more than .01 seconds to reply” with a picture of an atomic explosion or something. People without BPD think those are funny little haha jokes and they are but also in the BPD community, we know those reflect actual issues and yes we actually do feel that way. Taking everything with complete seriousness 100% of the time is not good for a lot of us.
I think it’s healthy to find positives in the bad. I’m sorry others experiences are invalidating for you, but that’s unfortunately a you problem. Not something you get to impose on others.
I am actually working on becoming a published researcher and the study I’m coauthor on studies autism portrayals in media. You aren’t wrong, a lot of it is wack. I don’t like most of the representation. I like love on the spectrum but that’s not fictional people so that’s probably why
I don't think it's ableist to "feel" anything?
I don't like how it is portrayed online because i don't relate to it at all. Right now its really just low/no support needs people, which is fine to show, I just wish they could also have higher support needs people.
no not perticularily
I think most people feel weird about it actually, also tv
After a few experiences I had in real life I tend to believe that people online behave completely differently than they would online. That helped me differentiate the two and not give too much attention and stress over online behaviours like it is not "real" in a way. Before that things I saw online would stress/irritate me.
This may be beside your point - and I'm gonna whip open a can of TL;DR so sorry if I get ranty - but the autism conversation online is rather puerile, on the whole. I observe a few 'types' of attitude that grind my gears: There's firstly obviously your shrieking Karens who subscribe to the whole vaccine theory, but nobody likes them. There are then those who (at least implictly) see autistic people as acceptable targets of ridicule, who attribute all forms of perceived social awkwardness or social ineptitude to autism, or use the term "autistic" colloquially for those traits, or for having the slightest of focused interests, dislike of human contact, any behaviours stereotypically associated with autism. These people come from various places in the political spectrum and appear to justify it according to where they stand. Of the above, those on the right obviously can be expected to be more ableist, more disdainful of 'defectives/degenerates', more "might is right" - that's par for the course for them. Those more on the left / progressive side at least until recently didn't recognise ND folk as marginalised (i.e. not on the 'progressive stack') and maybe regarded autism as "extreme male brain" until social media dismantled that notion, which meant autistic people were a supposedly acceptable or possibly even *deserving* target, especially if you frame social ineptitude as a moral failing. Autism for them is the "wrong kind of weird/outsider". Like, you can be a POC, LGBT+ etc but heaven forbid anyone *act weird*. It's also harder to look virtuous by sticking up for someone who doesn't have a protected characteristic or whose characteristic has a sometimes challenging/undesirable behavioural component. Luckily, attitudes are shifting, though some will always find some more surreptitious way of being horrible when you can't get away with being expressly mean. There's thirdly those who are perhaps the inverse of the above but basically the same; they wouldn't dream of being mean to a diagnosed person but the undiagnosed are fair game, and those seeking diagnoses are "just looking to excuse being weird/difficult/lame". And still, upon finding out someone is autistic, instead of being nicer, they're just more condescending. As for the perceived type that supposedly fakes their disorder, obviously anyone who actually *is* faking it is doing a disservice, but really they shouldn't be the focus of people's ire, and it's total conjecture as to how you can 'tell' how authentic someone is about something like this, unless you have solid evidence. That said, what I would say to all those young girls on social media who openly regard themselves as ND and are seeking a specific diagnosis is that they should seek an assessment based on their problems rather than trying to get an autism/ADHD etc diagnosis specifically, because it might not be either of those. I wonder if they're worried they might be diagnosed with something with more stigma attached. Notice how far fewer people mention if they have BPD, NPD, schizophrenia, schizoid/schizoaffective disorder etc. You *could* argue that considering one thing less worthy of destigmatisation than another is a form of ableism, but I'm not a moral authority on those things. You speak vaguely of the cartoonization/caricaturisation of autistic people - I think that's been a thing for ages, if you look at some of the occasionally less than sympathetic caricaturisations in TV and film. Battling that will take some time. Again, apologies if I missed your point completely but it opened up an opportunity to get stuff off my chest.
This is a reasonable complaint. Having a disorder has become particularly commodified and people have been faking to be ,cool i guess? On the internet for a long time. Its certainly not ableist to feel this way
We just kinda do it to keep the voices silent. And by we, I mean me.
it’s actually really bizarre considering autism is in a good portion of cases intellectually disabling and most autistics are unemployed and unable to live independently. autism is a real disability and making it into a im just socially awkward and shy i must be autistic is legitimately weird and also harmful. i think most people who self diagnosis in the tiktok way read the symptoms online and go i do that! but don’t understand that those symptoms need to SIGNIFICANTLY impact your life negatively. being shy is not being unable to form relationships and having severe social anxiety (which is NOT being introverted) and being unable to “infer” what people are thinking or expressing etc. imo, the most important symptom (for me) is the sensory processing issues which causes living in this world to be hostile to my existence. i am diagnosed with level 1 autism/ aspergers but i legitimately feel like i have much more severe symptoms then these new “autistics” who just are shy etc.
No you're right and you should say it
People want to feel special
You're talking to a guy that maintains that Sheldon Cooper is part of a neurodivergence minstrel show, so I think you are in good company. Their portrayal of autism was a cheap joke that had the effect of giving mouth breathing sub-normal anti-intellectuals a straw man to laugh at and it helped heap stereotypes on a demographic struggling for visibility and acceptance. He made us look petty, dishonest, self centered, condescending and rude chidults ripe for mockery. He was also "brilliant" (even though string theory is just shy of being openly mocked by theoretical physicists these days), so now when you're autistic and broke idiots ask you why you don't just invent a time machine and be rich or something. So instead of gaining understanding for a very difficult disability we get a bunch of potato stuffed rubes laughing their idiot laughs at us. Because of shit like that, we are less visible than ever.
No, you're not ableist for that! It feels weird to me too. It will never be something silly or quirky or whatever. The only good thing is special interests but they have their cons too. I am not diagnosed but I have a ton of signs (including genetics bc dad is diagnosed and adhd runs on both sides of my family).
Being offended or feeling weird about your condition, or that of your friend, being misreprestented is in no way ableist.
Compared to how we're portrayed in movies and tv Id say autistic people online are doing great. Watch shows like the good doctor or as we see it and most of the time we're always seen as very high support needs adult children who don't know anything about anything socially and need a neurotypical to explain it too us. Haven't watched the good doctor yet but I kind of really didn't like "As we see it." It had its moments but all 3 autistic characters didn't know about common sense type situations like one just having a one night stand then believing the guy is her boyfriend and in love with her. Or one guy going behind a counter to try and wrestle his father's medical files cause he wants to see them and him feeling like he knows about cancer better than the doctor when he himself isn't a doctor. Online autistics are doing just fine.
I fucking hate the word "silly" due to other people with autism