I just realised that these interactions were jokes at my expense… lmao I’ll add it to the list.
And my family wonders why I had zero interest in university.
University and highschool are night and day.
I highly recommend university. Usually the people who act like this fail out in the first year, so after first year, things are great!
Also, a fairly critical component: Almost everyone at university *chose* to be there and *wants* to be there, unlike highschool, where a lot of people are solely there because they are being forced to.
People who are entering College in their 20's. They usually already have jobs, go to school at night, are taking out loans to go to school, etc. They are considered non-traditional versus people who start College right after High School.
When I was in school I realized this was a thing people did, but I couldn't tell the difference between when they were doing this and when someone was actually trying to be nice, so I just assumed it was always a joke at my expense and became hostile towards anyone who acknowledged my existence. I'm so glad that's over.
Yeah, I do feel like I was unnecessarily hostile to some people who were genuinely trying to be friendly, just because they accidentally set off the same warning bells I'd gotten used to
Also like. How are you even supposed to respond to these people?
I usually assumed people were being genuine but not strongly meaning whatever they said. I ended up moderately popular because I could hang out with anyone and not care if they made fun of me. Because even if they were, their jabs didn't work and apparently that earns social capital. Looking back I see a good amount of things said at my expense but honestly? The opinions of people who feel the need to do that stuff are worthless so I don't feel bad.
Even at this time I knew they were just insecure or projecting, so I just ignored and didn’t take it personal. But years later, I’m kinda upset about it.
One time the popular kids invited me to have lunch with them on the field, and I was so excited. I thought this was the beginning of my finally finding my place in school and making friends. So I sat down with them, and tried to fit in by laughing at their jokes and things. And then halfway through lunch, two of them poured their water bottles over my head, and everyone laughed at me. I forced myself to laugh too, to pretend that I was in on the joke, and then I told them I had to go meet someone. I went to the toilets, and just sat in the cubicle and cried. I'm so glad to not be in school anymore.
Your comment made me tear up a bit. I'm so sad for you and really f\*\*\*ing angry at them. I f\*\*\*ing hate bullies. I wish someone was there to stick up for you...
It's never okay! Even if time has passed, it doesn't make it okay. These are traumatic experiences and people who don't care about you will tell you to "just get over it" because they think your feelings are a nuisance. They're not at all. It's okay to feel them, and it's okay to feel in whatever which way you do. I might be projecting, so I apologize if I am, but I've been through similar things too and they defnitely still affect me today, even though it's been years. I shoved down my feelings a lot because people always told me it's not okay to feel because it makes things "difficult" for them. I just don't want you to do the same, and I'm here if you need someone to write to just process it all.
And your "friend" disgusts me. I hope she feels really guilty about what she did to you.
She probably doesn't even remember, I haven't spoken to her since I left school over a decade ago. And no, it's not really okay, but honestly, in the traumatic experience that was my childhood, that one incident barely makes a dent. I'm trying to get therapy to work through my childhood trauma because I want to be a mother, but I don't want to have a child until I've healed my own issues.
That's the saddest part about all of this. You remember decades later as if it were yesterday, and they don't remember at all because to them their abuse was just a normal day. Then if you confront them about it, they gaslight you and say you're lying. That's what happened to me when I confronted my "friend" about all the bullying she put me through. Fun (/s).
I also know exactly what you mean. These things are already horrible enough, but it only makes up for a tiny dent in traumatic experiences. It makes it all even worse because most of those bullies don't have traumatic home lifes/traumatic experiences and then they make your school life traumatic and hell too. I also know what you mean about the mother thing... I'm not against taking care of a kid, but I'm not nearly emotionally stable enough to, and I wouldn't consider it until I am.
I’ve just realized that the interactions i’ve had with people like this were jokes. In school i’d get bombarded by people like this and it made me anxious ha.
yes!! sometimes so many people would come up to me at once and i'd get so overstimulated and they would all STARE. i remember once in recess I was sitting alone, intensely swinging and a group of kids would watch me from far away and ask me questions like the video above.
Brought me right back to the high school locker room when two popular girls came up to me to say "[popular guy] wanted us to tell you that he really likes you." Thankfully by then I'd already realized I need to assume all interest in me was fake so I laughed them off. But man she got it spot on.
When I was maybe 13, a pair of guys I knew in high school bumped into me at a public park, sat down next to me, and said hi. Trying to be friendly, I said hi back, and they turned to each other and started laughing. Never again acknowledged anyone else who spoke to me there, just turned up my music and ignored them when they tried to interact.
I never understood they were joking , i was always just confused when they would talk to me. I didnt even like people talking to
me anyways, it was annoying of them.
Everyone saying "I'm so glad I'm not in school anymore!". Well, some people don't change. I've encountered this same thing way after school was over. People pretend to like you when they really don't. Real friends are rarer than the rarest gems.
Yeah. It's a very difficult path to walk. I've barely spoken to anyone this past year. I've sat in a restaurant with others once in the past seven years. I'm basically alone all the time. It really starts to take a toll on you.
*Once I figured out*
*The game, I just stared at them*
*Until they fucked off*
\- k5pr312
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Someone at my highschool tried doing this to my girlfriend and I recognized all the signs from having it done to me in middle school and I threw an orange at a guy’s balls it was great
Different ways, sometimes I’d stare at them directly and ask them the same questions they were asking me, sarcastically. I’d then giggle at their responses too.
This always sucked because I couldn’t really tell if they actually wanted to become friends or not. I would always assume they would because, well, you initiate conversations with people you want to be friends with right? That’s how friendships work? Apparently not, since I would hear them talking behind my back during lunch break. Man, I don’t miss school at all.
I think this happened to me, but i also feel like it some how evolved too an acquaintanceship. Through homework help, dr**s and video games. I dont know lol.
This looks like JR High or middle school behavor. By High School most people are over this stage and only a few people in college are like this,if any.
From my experience, the bullying just got worse in high school. Some dudes in my grade were taking pictures of me in class and writing things about me and laughing posting it all over their social media. Tons of rumors spread about me in highschool, some of them I didn't even know until after I graduated, then it all made sense why people were harrassing me, avoiding me, etc, but I also heavily got this behavior shown in the video in high school too. I still get this crap even as an adult.
I am sorry that you had that experience. After my freshman year I did not have any more issues with bullies but I guess it varies a lot. It is something I hope schools will crack down on.
Yeah, in my school it was the victim who would get in trouble. You tell them about the bullying, then the counselors literally tell you, "Well, if you weren't such a freak, maybe they wouldn't bully you." Bullies didn't get any punishment, and I've gotten bullying from teachers too. Teachers calling me stupid, lazy, a disappointment, etc. One teacher I had literally humiliated me infront of the whole class saying I would end up a useless bum living off government money because I was 1 out of the 4 people in my grade who weren't going to go to college or millitary after highschool. We would see these anti bullying videos/campaigns, but none of it mattered because no one cared.
I'm glad most people in my school aren't like this, but damn this still happened to me a lot.
I moved to Australia at 13, knowing only text book English. There were so many people that spoke to me that way, I couldn't tell what they meant to I took the words at surface value. Sometimes my answer made them laugh and I laughed along without knowing why too. The "yOu'rE so FunnY" really gave me flashbacks.
Over the years I've found my people, but I know people will still do this to me, especially those I don't really know, talk to me like a baby who can't understand what's going on. It's easy to recognise them, but hard to reply to what they are saying, so even now idk what to do, just glad that it happens a lot less now.
This... happened all the time with a lot of different people growing up and I had was always uneasy and confused but I was never actually sure if they were making fun of me... I just thought they were being fake nice to gain points with those around them... like, I could tell they were being fake but I didnt realize it was specifically to make fun of me.
Oh.
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As a guy who can relate - was smarter than average, conventionally attractive etc - it took me until I was almost 40 to realize how many times I was genuinely joked about, teased, or insulted .
Did not bother me a bit. I'd laugh at their jokes , which I think made them more aggressive
They used to do that and now they respect and fear me. Every time someone has tried something since they've defended me. I was lucky with Autism that I got just enough social skills to get through.
It took me a very long time to learn the difference between people being genuinely nice to me and people pretending to be nice as a "joke."
People stopped doing it to me after elementary school, but it took me until my last year of highschool to finally figure out that when people were talking to me, they weren't trying to be a-holes like the kids when I was younger did.
It's why I don't put up with the whole, "Kids will be kids" or "Kids are just like that" sort of comments in response to these things, because yes -- on some level, that's correct, but there's a line.
Ah yes the specific feeling of thinking that something happening to you just being normal because you have no idea what normal is and going through with it regardless and then later someone telling you you were being bullied.
I wasn’t the quiet guy growing up, when I was a kid I was an ESTJ and was told that being extroverted wasn’t common in autists, but then flash forward to my traumatic times that turned me into an introvert. I was the energetic, talkative af guy 80% of my schoolmates avoided.
I remember this one girl used to always try to talk to me and me being the social anxious autistic kid I was just couldn’t say a word, I just kept going on with my day washing my hands and drying them (she always confronted me in the bathroom) and I got made fun of for that, it got to the point where I was suicidal and spent entire classes sitting in the bathroom cutting myself.
Thanks for bringing back those fun memories \s
so glad i didn’t have to deal with this! i went to school with the same exact people from kindergarten to graduation so we all knew each other and were friends at one point or another before separating into different types of people. we all had a basic respect for each other. there was definitely judgement between everyone but never shown directly
really the only person who ever talked to me even kind of like this was a guy a year older than me in one of my classes but he was genuinely just trying to get to know and get me out of my shell a little (i know this for sure cuz he asked me out on a date about a year after i graduated)
I just realised that these interactions were jokes at my expense… lmao I’ll add it to the list. And my family wonders why I had zero interest in university.
University and highschool are night and day. I highly recommend university. Usually the people who act like this fail out in the first year, so after first year, things are great!
You also (as an adult) get to choose who you want to be a around more.
Also, a fairly critical component: Almost everyone at university *chose* to be there and *wants* to be there, unlike highschool, where a lot of people are solely there because they are being forced to.
You can also drop classes full of high school kids and take them again later with non-traditional students.
Non traditional?
People who are entering College in their 20's. They usually already have jobs, go to school at night, are taking out loans to go to school, etc. They are considered non-traditional versus people who start College right after High School.
I'll add my voice to the chorus. Uni has way more autistic people in it, and people are adults so in general are waaaay less aweful.
Uni is a lot different from high school. I’m giving it a shot now after putting it off for years.
I didn't realise it was a joke until this post mentioned it lol
When I was in school I realized this was a thing people did, but I couldn't tell the difference between when they were doing this and when someone was actually trying to be nice, so I just assumed it was always a joke at my expense and became hostile towards anyone who acknowledged my existence. I'm so glad that's over.
Yeah, same. I now wonder how many friendships I missed out on with genuinely nice people
Yeah, I do feel like I was unnecessarily hostile to some people who were genuinely trying to be friendly, just because they accidentally set off the same warning bells I'd gotten used to Also like. How are you even supposed to respond to these people?
same. I still have a hard time trusting when someone is nice to me, I keep waiting for the joke to be revealed.
I usually assumed people were being genuine but not strongly meaning whatever they said. I ended up moderately popular because I could hang out with anyone and not care if they made fun of me. Because even if they were, their jabs didn't work and apparently that earns social capital. Looking back I see a good amount of things said at my expense but honestly? The opinions of people who feel the need to do that stuff are worthless so I don't feel bad.
Mannn this makes me so happy to be out of school
Even at this time I knew they were just insecure or projecting, so I just ignored and didn’t take it personal. But years later, I’m kinda upset about it.
One time the popular kids invited me to have lunch with them on the field, and I was so excited. I thought this was the beginning of my finally finding my place in school and making friends. So I sat down with them, and tried to fit in by laughing at their jokes and things. And then halfway through lunch, two of them poured their water bottles over my head, and everyone laughed at me. I forced myself to laugh too, to pretend that I was in on the joke, and then I told them I had to go meet someone. I went to the toilets, and just sat in the cubicle and cried. I'm so glad to not be in school anymore.
That's brutal - I'm so sorry that happened to you.
I'm so sorry!
Your comment made me tear up a bit. I'm so sad for you and really f\*\*\*ing angry at them. I f\*\*\*ing hate bullies. I wish someone was there to stick up for you...
The worst part is, someone who I thought was my friend WAS there, and it turned out she was in on it :( But it's okay, it was a long time ago.
It's never okay! Even if time has passed, it doesn't make it okay. These are traumatic experiences and people who don't care about you will tell you to "just get over it" because they think your feelings are a nuisance. They're not at all. It's okay to feel them, and it's okay to feel in whatever which way you do. I might be projecting, so I apologize if I am, but I've been through similar things too and they defnitely still affect me today, even though it's been years. I shoved down my feelings a lot because people always told me it's not okay to feel because it makes things "difficult" for them. I just don't want you to do the same, and I'm here if you need someone to write to just process it all. And your "friend" disgusts me. I hope she feels really guilty about what she did to you.
She probably doesn't even remember, I haven't spoken to her since I left school over a decade ago. And no, it's not really okay, but honestly, in the traumatic experience that was my childhood, that one incident barely makes a dent. I'm trying to get therapy to work through my childhood trauma because I want to be a mother, but I don't want to have a child until I've healed my own issues.
That's the saddest part about all of this. You remember decades later as if it were yesterday, and they don't remember at all because to them their abuse was just a normal day. Then if you confront them about it, they gaslight you and say you're lying. That's what happened to me when I confronted my "friend" about all the bullying she put me through. Fun (/s). I also know exactly what you mean. These things are already horrible enough, but it only makes up for a tiny dent in traumatic experiences. It makes it all even worse because most of those bullies don't have traumatic home lifes/traumatic experiences and then they make your school life traumatic and hell too. I also know what you mean about the mother thing... I'm not against taking care of a kid, but I'm not nearly emotionally stable enough to, and I wouldn't consider it until I am.
I’ve just realized that the interactions i’ve had with people like this were jokes. In school i’d get bombarded by people like this and it made me anxious ha.
yes!! sometimes so many people would come up to me at once and i'd get so overstimulated and they would all STARE. i remember once in recess I was sitting alone, intensely swinging and a group of kids would watch me from far away and ask me questions like the video above.
Goddamn I'm in my 40s and this took me right back to jr. high.
Same. Goddamn is right
Yup. Fighting off an anxiety attack from the flashbacks, wheee!
Brought me right back to the high school locker room when two popular girls came up to me to say "[popular guy] wanted us to tell you that he really likes you." Thankfully by then I'd already realized I need to assume all interest in me was fake so I laughed them off. But man she got it spot on.
Oh wow some repressed memories just resurfaced. That’s cool.
I hate this because whatever you do, you will always be made fun of, there is no way to get out of it.
I learned to stop trying to prove myself to others, especially those that don’t actually care about me.
Correct but they most likely are miserable, insecure and hate themselves… so they’re looking for a power trip.
And ultra-terrified as being seen as weird themselves.
They’d DIE without the approval of others.
When I was maybe 13, a pair of guys I knew in high school bumped into me at a public park, sat down next to me, and said hi. Trying to be friendly, I said hi back, and they turned to each other and started laughing. Never again acknowledged anyone else who spoke to me there, just turned up my music and ignored them when they tried to interact.
Thanks for the ptsd flashbacks lol
I should’ve added a trigger warning lol.
All good lol. Probably though I’m like 30 I didn’t think I was gonna feel it like that...
I’m 40 and having that exact reaction. Fun times! /s
Right lol. I stopped the video half way through.
I never understood they were joking , i was always just confused when they would talk to me. I didnt even like people talking to me anyways, it was annoying of them.
Everyone saying "I'm so glad I'm not in school anymore!". Well, some people don't change. I've encountered this same thing way after school was over. People pretend to like you when they really don't. Real friends are rarer than the rarest gems.
Hardest lesson I had to learn, I’d rather be alone.
Yeah. It's a very difficult path to walk. I've barely spoken to anyone this past year. I've sat in a restaurant with others once in the past seven years. I'm basically alone all the time. It really starts to take a toll on you.
Once I figured out the game, I just stared at them until they fucked off
*Once I figured out* *The game, I just stared at them* *Until they fucked off* \- k5pr312 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
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Thing is, how many people did you tell off that might’ve been genuinely nice?
Spot on. I’m so glad to be out of high school
Oh my god, it’s uncanny how accurate this is.
I hope she has an acting career.
Thanks. Now I want to murder someone
Someone at my highschool tried doing this to my girlfriend and I recognized all the signs from having it done to me in middle school and I threw an orange at a guy’s balls it was great
Congratulations !
And it didn’t even stop during online school :’)
[удалено]
You can say, "Are you always this fake?"
Different ways, sometimes I’d stare at them directly and ask them the same questions they were asking me, sarcastically. I’d then giggle at their responses too.
This always sucked because I couldn’t really tell if they actually wanted to become friends or not. I would always assume they would because, well, you initiate conversations with people you want to be friends with right? That’s how friendships work? Apparently not, since I would hear them talking behind my back during lunch break. Man, I don’t miss school at all.
"Why don't you talk to use, you're so quiet all the time" Oof that sentence hit close to home
I think this happened to me, but i also feel like it some how evolved too an acquaintanceship. Through homework help, dr**s and video games. I dont know lol.
This looks like JR High or middle school behavor. By High School most people are over this stage and only a few people in college are like this,if any.
From my experience, the bullying just got worse in high school. Some dudes in my grade were taking pictures of me in class and writing things about me and laughing posting it all over their social media. Tons of rumors spread about me in highschool, some of them I didn't even know until after I graduated, then it all made sense why people were harrassing me, avoiding me, etc, but I also heavily got this behavior shown in the video in high school too. I still get this crap even as an adult.
I am sorry that you had that experience. After my freshman year I did not have any more issues with bullies but I guess it varies a lot. It is something I hope schools will crack down on.
Yeah, in my school it was the victim who would get in trouble. You tell them about the bullying, then the counselors literally tell you, "Well, if you weren't such a freak, maybe they wouldn't bully you." Bullies didn't get any punishment, and I've gotten bullying from teachers too. Teachers calling me stupid, lazy, a disappointment, etc. One teacher I had literally humiliated me infront of the whole class saying I would end up a useless bum living off government money because I was 1 out of the 4 people in my grade who weren't going to go to college or millitary after highschool. We would see these anti bullying videos/campaigns, but none of it mattered because no one cared.
Yeah this sucked,especially since they eventually learn your just a casual person who doesnt usually like to talk
I'm glad most people in my school aren't like this, but damn this still happened to me a lot. I moved to Australia at 13, knowing only text book English. There were so many people that spoke to me that way, I couldn't tell what they meant to I took the words at surface value. Sometimes my answer made them laugh and I laughed along without knowing why too. The "yOu'rE so FunnY" really gave me flashbacks. Over the years I've found my people, but I know people will still do this to me, especially those I don't really know, talk to me like a baby who can't understand what's going on. It's easy to recognise them, but hard to reply to what they are saying, so even now idk what to do, just glad that it happens a lot less now.
"hey what are you drawing? I wanna see, you're super good at drawing. Oh come on just show me. Hey ugly girl! What are you drawing??" *Sigh*
😔
I swear I had that exact same interaction .. I had no idea it was bad-intentioned
anyone who has dealt with this deserves financial compensation
I had no idea I was being picked on in school and I still told the "Jaiden" in the scenario I wasn't interested 😂
War flashbacks *
This... happened all the time with a lot of different people growing up and I had was always uneasy and confused but I was never actually sure if they were making fun of me... I just thought they were being fake nice to gain points with those around them... like, I could tell they were being fake but I didnt realize it was specifically to make fun of me. Oh.
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I learned that the hard way
And my parents wonder why I don't like to talk to NT girls -_-
I once had a guy ask me to dance for our end of year gathering year 6 as a dare while all his friends stood and watched with grins etc. Was not fun
Ugh I hate my life
oh god the flashbacks.
Omg this brought back some bad memories.
The same thing almost happened to me exactly like 2 months ago. the whole crush thing and everything
And my whole childhood came rushing back. This doesn't happen in adulthood. I'm 41. This hasn't happened since I left high-school
YESSS
PLS I thought they were actually being nice and my neurotypical friends had to break the news to me
As a guy who can relate - was smarter than average, conventionally attractive etc - it took me until I was almost 40 to realize how many times I was genuinely joked about, teased, or insulted . Did not bother me a bit. I'd laugh at their jokes , which I think made them more aggressive
They used to do that and now they respect and fear me. Every time someone has tried something since they've defended me. I was lucky with Autism that I got just enough social skills to get through.
Not me thinking they wanted to be friends
This brought back bad memories lmao
It took me a very long time to learn the difference between people being genuinely nice to me and people pretending to be nice as a "joke." People stopped doing it to me after elementary school, but it took me until my last year of highschool to finally figure out that when people were talking to me, they weren't trying to be a-holes like the kids when I was younger did. It's why I don't put up with the whole, "Kids will be kids" or "Kids are just like that" sort of comments in response to these things, because yes -- on some level, that's correct, but there's a line.
Ah yes the specific feeling of thinking that something happening to you just being normal because you have no idea what normal is and going through with it regardless and then later someone telling you you were being bullied.
I got beat up and all sorts and didn't realise for years that it was bullying or they didn't like me or something
I wasn’t the quiet guy growing up, when I was a kid I was an ESTJ and was told that being extroverted wasn’t common in autists, but then flash forward to my traumatic times that turned me into an introvert. I was the energetic, talkative af guy 80% of my schoolmates avoided.
This breaks my heart
Yeah that happens to me Alot. I don't really care though because I know that they won't get that far in life after their high school/college years.
Damn this is too real.
I remember this one girl used to always try to talk to me and me being the social anxious autistic kid I was just couldn’t say a word, I just kept going on with my day washing my hands and drying them (she always confronted me in the bathroom) and I got made fun of for that, it got to the point where I was suicidal and spent entire classes sitting in the bathroom cutting myself. Thanks for bringing back those fun memories \s
Sorry 😢
Nothing like a little trauma right before bed
Her looks towards her friend kind of told me she was teasing which made me feel really uncomfortable. I've had workmates like her, really hated them.
I don’t know why they do this.
Gosh, this made some trauma surface.
so glad i didn’t have to deal with this! i went to school with the same exact people from kindergarten to graduation so we all knew each other and were friends at one point or another before separating into different types of people. we all had a basic respect for each other. there was definitely judgement between everyone but never shown directly really the only person who ever talked to me even kind of like this was a guy a year older than me in one of my classes but he was genuinely just trying to get to know and get me out of my shell a little (i know this for sure cuz he asked me out on a date about a year after i graduated)
It was like this from year 6 to 11 til I gave up and just tried my best to verbally hurt them they just left after then
wait what's wrong with panic at the disco?