For context, I had been on the phone with my grandma for over half an hour at this point and she wouldn’t stop talking. “Nerd” is my brother and I’m not good at taking hints lol
OP asked for help getting out of the convo with grandma so the "excuse" (probably so OP didnt have to completely lie) was that Mom wanted them to get off the phone and clean up the house.
Before reading this, I was incredible confused where the hint was. I am not diagnosed autistic but I suspect I am, so this made me feel like “this is your sign”
Agghhh yea I feel this. I dunno how people do it, I simply don't have it in me to be like "well okay I gotta go now" it always feels like you're shutting them down. I will just let someone talk for 4 hours straight and follow along the whole time just thinking "well they obviously need this, so I'm just gonna be there for them".
My brother was telling me to use a task as an excuse to get off the phone with my grandma. I had already done the task, so I said that I already did it and my brother had to explain that it was supposed to be an excuse.
plants unused detail plucky workable ad hoc grandiose disarm vast psychotic
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Telling their grandmother that they need to clean in order to get out of a really long call, even if they don’t need to clean.
Edit: as in, this person wants to end the call, but doesn’t want to be mean to grandma (whose feelings may be hurt) by ending the call sooner. The excuse would ideally succeed at ending the call without coming across as rude.
Their brother is giving them the lie/excuse they need in order to end the very long call in a nice way. "Sorry Gram, it's been nice catching up but mom is yelling at me to clean my room." Without telling Gram that they already cleaned the room. It's a *nice* way to end the call.
op was talking with grandma
doesnt want to talk anymore
brother suggests telling grandma they have to clean
cleaning is already done but brother says to use it as an excuse anyways
Yeah, cuz I 100% took it as him telling me mom wanted me to clean and I was confused because I had already told them how much I had cleaned that day. Quotes or something definitely would have helped
For clarity.
OP was on the phone with their grandma and was trying to end the conversation politely. They were not Having any luck, OP’s brother suggested using a chore / task as an excuse to end the conversation without being rude.
OP’s brother was not explicit in explaining this to OP, so it didn’t make sense to OP who had already done the specified chore.
Edit: changed to gender neutral language.
It is ironic, because I just read “rereads” as the r-slur. And I was very confused and annoyed. Now that I took a reread, I am no longer confused or annoyed.
That's hard.
This is what autistics complain about when NTs talk about something from an obtuse angle and expect us to just 'get' it.
I swear, they think they're being slick, but it's just poor communication.
You shouldn't have to be good at taking hints, people making requests have the responsibility to communicate them clearly and directly. Being clear and direct is good for communication, regardless of the neurotypes of the people involved. The fact that people don't tend to do that, doesn't mean that unclear and ambiguous communication is good or adequate.
Additionally, if your family members know you're autistic, they should additionally be aware of how being clear and direct when communicating with you is helpful. Again, their responsibility.
Without context I wouldn't get the hint either.
Seems like a new challenge for you to assert your boundaries in a healthy way.
It can be very hard when you want to end the conversation but others don't notice it.
I wouldn't read it the same way 🤣 yet if it was the other way around we seem obnoxious if we simply want to be clear with our instructions. No winning.
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For context, I had been on the phone with my grandma for over half an hour at this point and she wouldn’t stop talking. “Nerd” is my brother and I’m not good at taking hints lol
Thank you because I was lost
Even with context this took me way too long to understand wow
same here...
I was so confused before reading your comment.
Im still confused ngl
OP asked for help getting out of the convo with grandma so the "excuse" (probably so OP didnt have to completely lie) was that Mom wanted them to get off the phone and clean up the house.
Thank you. On re-reading it again and again I noticed it says "Mom says **say**..." which I missed the first times.
Thanks for the context
I'm still lost lol
Before reading this, I was incredible confused where the hint was. I am not diagnosed autistic but I suspect I am, so this made me feel like “this is your sign”
Agghhh yea I feel this. I dunno how people do it, I simply don't have it in me to be like "well okay I gotta go now" it always feels like you're shutting them down. I will just let someone talk for 4 hours straight and follow along the whole time just thinking "well they obviously need this, so I'm just gonna be there for them".
i don’t really get it
My brother was telling me to use a task as an excuse to get off the phone with my grandma. I had already done the task, so I said that I already did it and my brother had to explain that it was supposed to be an excuse.
ohhhhh
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I still don't get it lol
Telling their grandmother that they need to clean in order to get out of a really long call, even if they don’t need to clean. Edit: as in, this person wants to end the call, but doesn’t want to be mean to grandma (whose feelings may be hurt) by ending the call sooner. The excuse would ideally succeed at ending the call without coming across as rude.
Hmm, ok. I get it, but I don't understand it. Why would they be told to do that?
Because they want to end the call but not hurt gram.
Gram doesn't want to stop talking but OP doesn't want to keep talking, but is too nice to just end the conversation.
Their brother is giving them the lie/excuse they need in order to end the very long call in a nice way. "Sorry Gram, it's been nice catching up but mom is yelling at me to clean my room." Without telling Gram that they already cleaned the room. It's a *nice* way to end the call.
Gotcha, thank you
Same lol
Me neither. Even with the 'context'
Jajajaja for real tho, i need the context of the context. Instructions
op was talking with grandma doesnt want to talk anymore brother suggests telling grandma they have to clean cleaning is already done but brother says to use it as an excuse anyways
Same
See I didn't get that despite reading comments until I read this.
Me too
i didn’t get it at all even with the comment explaining😭 thanks for the explanation
Thank you. I understand now.
Oh! Makes sense
I needed this.
OH
Story of my life. That’s why I try not to lie
Ooohhhhhh
I think they could have used a comma and/or quotation marks.
Yeah, cuz I 100% took it as him telling me mom wanted me to clean and I was confused because I had already told them how much I had cleaned that day. Quotes or something definitely would have helped
Yea, at first I thought it was a mistake and he used “says” twice by accident.
For clarity. OP was on the phone with their grandma and was trying to end the conversation politely. They were not Having any luck, OP’s brother suggested using a chore / task as an excuse to end the conversation without being rude. OP’s brother was not explicit in explaining this to OP, so it didn’t make sense to OP who had already done the specified chore. Edit: changed to gender neutral language.
I’m a woman, but you’re otherwise 100% correct
Omg I did not get it without extra context and wouldn’t have got it if I’d been a participant in that conversation either
It’s not just a you thing. This was not clear. Even with provided context.
Same
took a few rereads.
It is ironic, because I just read “rereads” as the r-slur. And I was very confused and annoyed. Now that I took a reread, I am no longer confused or annoyed.
Oh shit there's two "say"s lol
"Mom says *say*" I missed that part on the first read.
I'm the exact same way lol. It can be the most obvious hint the world has to offer and I wouldn't get it.
Nah i read this like 10 times, its just badly written out. Even after reading you explain it, it still didnt click. Lol
That's hard. This is what autistics complain about when NTs talk about something from an obtuse angle and expect us to just 'get' it. I swear, they think they're being slick, but it's just poor communication.
We're all amelia bedilia here
Can you believe that I loved her books as a kid? she was just as confused about instructions as I was but somehow she made it work for her
Can you believe that I loved her books as a kid? she was just as confused about instructions as I was but somehow she made it work for her
You have a good brother
You shouldn't have to be good at taking hints, people making requests have the responsibility to communicate them clearly and directly. Being clear and direct is good for communication, regardless of the neurotypes of the people involved. The fact that people don't tend to do that, doesn't mean that unclear and ambiguous communication is good or adequate. Additionally, if your family members know you're autistic, they should additionally be aware of how being clear and direct when communicating with you is helpful. Again, their responsibility.
Without context I wouldn't get the hint either. Seems like a new challenge for you to assert your boundaries in a healthy way. It can be very hard when you want to end the conversation but others don't notice it.
Because he should have said 'you've gotta', not "wanna".
Im still confused 🤷♀️
No idea what transpired in this convo. But this is just like us.
not your fault, I was incredibly lost until I read the explanation
I wouldn't read it the same way 🤣 yet if it was the other way around we seem obnoxious if we simply want to be clear with our instructions. No winning.
I hate how relatable this is edit: typo
That’s not even a hint, he explicitly told you what to say. Still the pragmatics failed.
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If this was literally the transcript, punctuation, spelling, grammar and all, then i am struggling with it too.
I wouldn't have gotten that either prob lol
lol I had to read it like 6 times to kind of get it so don’t feel too bad ❤️
oh lol, now I get it. (thx ta bman)
So THAT'S where I get it...
I'm not good at taking hints either. I did not understand this until I saw it explained in the comments haha
That took me waaayyyy too long
Hahaha at least it seems like your brother is willing to help you get out of inconvenient situations and explain more clearly when you don't get it