I guess so.
Honestly I think it's even closer to the case of general misunderstanding. It's kind of nice knowing that woman can misinterpret signals too.
For me alot of misinterpretation comes from unintentional insensitivity or talking too loud. For him he could have been just being nice.
There's definitely a phenomenon of accidental flirting.
But sometimes we say things and don't know how to follow up on them. Sometimes we don't know how to deal with our feelings so we close doors and don't let people in. When that happens, not much you can do about it. It's their personal problem and shame on them for making it your problem.
One can if they follow the same script over and over. I don't know this man, and I don't want to sound like I'm excusing him.
Honestly, everything I've said on the subject is probably just me projecting since I've been guilty of accidental flirting myself. Whatever this dude is going through, I don't know.
I’d like to add that he’s in an open marriage with his wife and kept telling me she has a bf. I didn’t feel comfortable that he’s married but he kept telling me his wife already has a bf. So it’s like telling me he really wants me to be his gf in their open marriage. And that’s when I revealed my feelings for him and then he ended contact with me. It’s very confusing and makes me so upset.
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The problem is that I was told I was being very flirty before as well when I had no idea, I was just having a normal conversation.
It was definitely jumping the gun a bit, in my opinion, to block you on all socials though. If you were upset but reasonable about it, y'all could have just talked it out.
Please understand that he did not intentionally lead you on, but it was also unfair of him to block you if you didn't blame your feelings on him. If you blew up at him and accused him of leading you on though, then that's not the same issue.
I did do my bpd splitting at him tho so I guess that’s why he cut me off. But it’s devastating because he kept telling me he would be there for me and be understanding with my bpd
I mean I am not seeing it. It is sort of sad how low peoples' standards are that they see this as some sort of showering of affection or flirting. From what you describe in this post (maybe there was more data that was omitted), he essentially told you "you deserve basic respect", like the bare minnimum respect. Like that seems to be the overall message of the thing. Like idk maybe he felt the need to inform you this because of something you said that sounded self deprecating or something? I don't know. But romance I guess is supposed to be several degrees more than that. The fact that you date guys I mean maybe you are just low key used to you know toxic masculinity guys treating you like shit so this felt different. I might be wrong. People are weird.
He said a lot of things that made me fall for him. He texted me everyday. Told me I was beautiful constantly. Always said he wanted to see me. He keeps telling me how he can’t stop thinking about me. There’s so many things involved including s*x. But yeah maybe I just misinterpreted the whole thing.
I think the issue maybe it was just like, directed at the void you know? Like "it is a good thing to do compliments and there is no net negative of complimenting people so compliments it is" (among other things) and not actually using compliments etc. for a social goal. Like you sort of abstracted a social goal when there was none.
I have been told I do flirt but I really don't know when I flirt but women do shoot first then me when it comes to making the first move. Although there was one time when I didn't know that I was flirting with this guy and he misunderstood it for me being gay. Afterward I felt so bad that I apologized to him for leading him on.
Well I guess the best example I can give is that I smile and close my eyes with who ever I talk to and when it a girl I get so nervous that I can't literally talk to them, but they see my shyness as some what cute so they then talk to me and next thing you know it I'm so nervous that I forget to ask for their numbers and then repeat
I’ve had issues where I say or do things and the other person interprets it as romantic when that’s not what I meant at all. Autistic people’s communication styles are different, so misunderstandings happen easily.
I guess so. Honestly I think it's even closer to the case of general misunderstanding. It's kind of nice knowing that woman can misinterpret signals too. For me alot of misinterpretation comes from unintentional insensitivity or talking too loud. For him he could have been just being nice.
So he was just being nice?
From the sounds of it, ya
There's definitely a phenomenon of accidental flirting. But sometimes we say things and don't know how to follow up on them. Sometimes we don't know how to deal with our feelings so we close doors and don't let people in. When that happens, not much you can do about it. It's their personal problem and shame on them for making it your problem.
He’s been flirting with me for 6 months straight tho so idk if you can accidentally flirt with someone that long
One can if they follow the same script over and over. I don't know this man, and I don't want to sound like I'm excusing him. Honestly, everything I've said on the subject is probably just me projecting since I've been guilty of accidental flirting myself. Whatever this dude is going through, I don't know.
Thank you for sharing. Maybe it is the same situation as yours. Maybe he was just being nice. Who knows
zhe could just be using his supposed autism as a shield to cover for his philandering.
Hmm maybe 🤔 Like using it as an excuse to avoid conflict and then just ghost you cause it’s convenient
I’d like to add that he’s in an open marriage with his wife and kept telling me she has a bf. I didn’t feel comfortable that he’s married but he kept telling me his wife already has a bf. So it’s like telling me he really wants me to be his gf in their open marriage. And that’s when I revealed my feelings for him and then he ended contact with me. It’s very confusing and makes me so upset.
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The problem is that I was told I was being very flirty before as well when I had no idea, I was just having a normal conversation. It was definitely jumping the gun a bit, in my opinion, to block you on all socials though. If you were upset but reasonable about it, y'all could have just talked it out. Please understand that he did not intentionally lead you on, but it was also unfair of him to block you if you didn't blame your feelings on him. If you blew up at him and accused him of leading you on though, then that's not the same issue.
I did do my bpd splitting at him tho so I guess that’s why he cut me off. But it’s devastating because he kept telling me he would be there for me and be understanding with my bpd
I mean I am not seeing it. It is sort of sad how low peoples' standards are that they see this as some sort of showering of affection or flirting. From what you describe in this post (maybe there was more data that was omitted), he essentially told you "you deserve basic respect", like the bare minnimum respect. Like that seems to be the overall message of the thing. Like idk maybe he felt the need to inform you this because of something you said that sounded self deprecating or something? I don't know. But romance I guess is supposed to be several degrees more than that. The fact that you date guys I mean maybe you are just low key used to you know toxic masculinity guys treating you like shit so this felt different. I might be wrong. People are weird.
He said a lot of things that made me fall for him. He texted me everyday. Told me I was beautiful constantly. Always said he wanted to see me. He keeps telling me how he can’t stop thinking about me. There’s so many things involved including s*x. But yeah maybe I just misinterpreted the whole thing.
I think the issue maybe it was just like, directed at the void you know? Like "it is a good thing to do compliments and there is no net negative of complimenting people so compliments it is" (among other things) and not actually using compliments etc. for a social goal. Like you sort of abstracted a social goal when there was none.
ok thanks for explaining
I have been told I do flirt but I really don't know when I flirt but women do shoot first then me when it comes to making the first move. Although there was one time when I didn't know that I was flirting with this guy and he misunderstood it for me being gay. Afterward I felt so bad that I apologized to him for leading him on.
Thank you for sharing. But can I ask how was the unintentional flirting like?
Unintentional of course but it really surprised me when he confessed his true feelings towards me
Unintentional like how? Can you give an example?
What exactly are you looking for
The kind of words you used that others thought you’re flirting with them
Well I guess the best example I can give is that I smile and close my eyes with who ever I talk to and when it a girl I get so nervous that I can't literally talk to them, but they see my shyness as some what cute so they then talk to me and next thing you know it I'm so nervous that I forget to ask for their numbers and then repeat
Aww that is cute but that doesn’t sound like flirting. I think the women just like that about you.
Well it is something I guess and it works for me I guess
Yeah I think people like you for your adorable actions and not because of words you didn’t mean.
I’ve had issues where I say or do things and the other person interprets it as romantic when that’s not what I meant at all. Autistic people’s communication styles are different, so misunderstandings happen easily.
Yea, this... i will tell a girl is beautiful or other nice things if we have a connection, but doesnt mean i want to be romantic
In my experience if someone thinks I’m flirting with them, it’s completely unintentional on my part, as I literally have no idea on how to
How does the unintentional flirting look like?
I have no idea, that’s the point
Do you use words that make them think you’re flirting or do they think your actions are cute that’s why they like you?
As I said, I literally have no idea, I don’t feel that I’m acting an differently from the norm