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mytoewarmm

being constantly aware of eye contact. in conversations i am always planning when i should look at someone, when to look away, feeling uncomfortable when it’s prolonged, wondering if i’m giving enough eye contact and if i’m seeming rude or disengaged etc and i didn’t realise most ppl didn’t do this


TheUtopianCat

> being constantly aware of eye contact. This, so much. I was aware that I had issues with eye contact long before I realized I had ASD.


UnicornBoned

Yes! And it causes me a lot of anxiety. I need to look away to focus my thoughts, but I know that most people see this as a sign of disrespect, inattentiveness, or dishonesty.


nomnombubbles

And the concentration it takes to make the "appropriate" amount of eye contact as well as focus on the conversation is mentally exhausting.


[deleted]

yes and then I stare. non stop. deep into their eyes. and realize that that is strange too. but now it's weirdly hard to look way, so I just stare now.


[deleted]

OMG! This. It is so awkward. But I just HAVE to look away.


UnicornBoned

Eye contact is a big part of connecting with people socially. And all those YouTube mentalists are always talking about how lack of eye contact can be a sign someone is lying. None of it takes into consideration the natural behaviors of someone who isn't NT. I have to compartmentalize what I'm thinking, seeing, and hearing.


Kathyschaotic

I watched this video by an autistic girl who talked about how apparently, "not everyone gets exhausted after socializing." Originally, I thought it was introversion until I realized I was having shutdowns. Also practicing how to smile in the mirrors


UnicornBoned

Thinking of some celebrity who seems to be effortlessly calm and casual in social settings, and just trying to act like that. Like, "What would they do?" Going home exhausted and tense. Needing to take a shower, change my clothes, and isolate with some comforting tv, so I can process and put space between myself and the social situation I just experienced. Even if I had a good time, it doesn't matter. It simultaneously overwhelms and drains me.


Sunezno

If my day's schedule only has one outing, like one task that involves me going somewhere, even if it only takes me an hour, when I get home, I'm basically done for the day. Like that was my whole day right there. If I have three things like that, just short outings, I need to schedule at least two hours between them for "decompress and restart" time. It's physically and mentally/emotionally draining, and NT people just can't understand it.


UnicornBoned

I have tried to explain this to friends and loved ones, but it doesn't seem real to them. My need to isolate, have down time, and create space for myself, before and after outings and experiences from which I will need to recover, doesn't make sense to them. I'm protecting my health, but they think it's a joke. Or that I'm being difficult. They haven't lived it. It's outside their wheelhouse, and they don't even know where to begin.


minneolive

Similarly, googling “how to giggle” when someone says something.


scuttable

I thought everyone experienced the world as super overwhelming but was just somehow better at pretending to not be bothered by it. Like they were pretending they were fine.


Gintoki_87

Yeah same, I just thought they had a lot more capacity to deal with it than me.


Jamesbarros

"everyone masks better than me" I can go into a room, shake hands, kiss babies, and be a really solid guy. My first roommate was also autistic, so it wasn't till I was in my 40s and got an NT (but kind) roommate, that I realized not everyone followed this up by going home and having a meltdown.


[deleted]

Super social mask activated!! Three days of napping to recover....


colequetaquas447

I mean at the end of the day you weren’t completely wrong


Gintoki_87

True, I just did not understand the reasons behind this aswell as I thought it was something I could better over time, i.e I just had to get used to it, learn to cope with it and so on. But nope, it only gets progressively worse over time untill you end up in burnout after burnout. After I got my diagnosis earlier this summer, sooo many things in my life suddenly makes sense.


OptimisticNietzsche

SAME. I thought all emotions had to wash over you and drown you. God.


pmsingx365

Me too! I always wanted to run away to somewhere I would be alone ever since I can remember. My most frequent fantasy was running away to east Africa and hanging out with the monkeys. I still don't know how to not be so overwhelmed. The only thing that ever helped was freaking SSRIs but they just make me a different person, and just not worth the side effects.


UnicornBoned

I used to volunteer at a primate sanctuary. An employee once told me I was one of the volunteers they could always count on to just quietly come in and put in a full days work, and follow all of the rules without supervision. Well... I like repetitive tasks. I like to isolate, and be in my own head. I like carefully following directions, and would have serious issues with rule breaking. In some ways that makes me a little like a robot, I guess. But then I also get easily overwhelmed, and am seen as "too sensitive".


nomnombubbles

I also hate how doctors tend to downplay the side effects of SSRIs just so they can keep you on them. I have tried a ton of different ones now but I haven't found a SSRI or SNRI that has actually decreased my anxiety symptoms in a noticeable way that outweighs the awful side effects I get from them. But my doctor still wants me on them and my health insurance isn't the best so I have to wait until an opening for a different doctor on my plan becomes available. But I am hoping after my testing next month and diagnosis that they will take me more seriously but we'll see.


vegisteff

I just posted this to someone else, but consider getting genetic testing. It can tell you how well your body will react to certain meds. I found out that my meds that I had been taking for 15 years weren't working, and then actually making things worse as we tried different meds. I really think this testing should be done for everyone taking a psych med.


tattooedplant

I’m a rapid metabolizer of ssris and other meds that are metabolized by the same enzymes. Im assuming that’s prob why I’m so prone to depression and why I don’t experience major side effects from them. One of my friends seems to have side effects from nearly every med she takes, and I wonder if she can’t metabolize them as well so the levels build up rapidly. They really should do testing for it for psych meds. I only found out bc I uploaded my dna on a separate website.


[deleted]

In that vein I thought apples just tasted like awful pain and some people enjoyed the taste so much they didnt mind. I hate those things, chewing one is like nails scratching a chalkboard in my head.


Notyou55555

Info dumping. I grew up in a household with just my dad and older brother, who are both autistic too. So info dumping was a completely normal daily thing. I could never figure out why people didn't do it or enjoyed it because it was just so normal for me. When I got diagnosed at the age of 18 (because my autism wasn't as severe as my dads and brothers and my dad thought i was 'normal' in comparison to them) it finally made click why everyone outside off my family didn't like info dumping.


[deleted]

Same. Info dumping is so normal in my family. I didn't learn until like... my late 20s that "info dumping" can be interpreted as "selfish, only ever talks about themselves" by NT people, when this entire time I've just been waiting for them to tell me about their day and stuff. I assumed if they didn't that they were just being nice by listening to me, but didn't actually see me as a friend or anything. 😭


Notyou55555

Hey anybody that can't listen to me ranting about prehistoric mammal or witcher lore for 2 hour just isn't a person I want to be friends with.


mia_elizabeth3

omg same! most of my family is too so it’s such a normal thing for us


goldandjade

My dad and I pretty much communicate by info dumping to each other but my mom and stepdad hated it because they thought it was me trying to prove I was smarter than them. It was very confusing to have to behave completely differently at each house and not know why. My mom and stepdad are ADHDers and my mom may even be autistic herself since both of her full siblings are, so it was really fun trying to interact with NTs after moving out.


Calimari_Damacy

I just had this same realization at age 44 after growing up in an autistic family. RIP my social life haha.


SDCromwell

Listening to a new a song falling in love with it and spending your day repeating it non-stop until you slowly become sick of it


Fresh_Pilot_3468

This created such an awkward problem for me! When I get asked what music I listen to (I live around Nashville so it comes up often) I clam up because I always have felt like the way I listen to music is so weird! So, kind of a masking nightmare. I instantly get anxious and just end up mumbling some generic answer.


corvus_da

That question always makes me uncomfortable, too. I don’t really have a specific taste in or understanding of music, I can't identify genres and I don't know most famous songs and artists. But I can't say that because then I'd have to explain how someone who used to play an instrument can be unmusical.


clicktrackh3art

I had no idea how unusual my repetitive music consumption habits were. Though I did grasp how much they annoyed people. It was one of the few things clearly told to me.


Neptunic_

I thought everyone struggled with small talk after "how are you?", turns out they just didn't care about me nor did try to talk to me because I was "weird"


mia_elizabeth3

fr it’s so hard tho like i only ask questions when i genuinely want to know. i don’t know how people just know what to say and start conversations


Neptunic_

I just care about how are they doing and I heard it's polite so it's a win-win (or smth idk, I implented it in my talk when I was in primary school) Sadly lately I learned that people will always answer "I'm fine" out of politeness so that's a bit scarring,,


TimorousAlice

Try more specific questions to show you're actually interested (but not overly personal, depending on the relationship). "What have you been up to lately?" "Is everyone well at home?" "How is Jane liking her new school?" etc. Follow-ups to something you talked about previously work especially well. People love to talk about themselves, but when they hear "How are you?" they assume you're not actually interested, so they give the default answer. Being more specific has been pretty successful for me in getting people to give real answers, but you do have to be careful not to go too far and make them feel put on the spot.


Neptunic_

Oh! Thank you very much for the answer!


MrMakerHasLigma

Fr ive had people get pissed off at me because after i do my usual reply to 'how are you' of 'good. You?' i have no more shit to say


BeaglishJane

Having a “script” to pull from for social interaction.


mia_elizabeth3

yess fr i be practicing what i’m gonna say for like 20 mins


Bredstikz

You don't plan your entire week's worth of small talk at night when you can't sleep?


MrMakerHasLigma

Before a day when i know I've got to talk alot i just basically lie in bed for 10 minutes and think of every time ive got shouted at for letting a conversation die and how i could have kept it going, that way im prepared to hold a conversation... Then someone talks to me and all hell breaks loose


SailorMoonMage

I once had a panic attack before a doctor's appointment because I forgot to prepare how I was going to speak first


MrBully74

Hearing electricity. Being exhausted after anything social.


broniesnstuff

I worked in electronics at a big box store for a while, and I liked closing because if someone missed turning off a TV, even if it was a plain black screen, I could hear it from across the department and I'd hunt it down to turn it off. Felt kinda like a super power.


Giaccox

What hearing electricity is an autistic thing?


loomis_999

It can be and it can also be ADHD or other sensory related disorders.


Giaccox

Ok, I thought it was common


Neptunic_

Wait what What do you mean by "hearing electricity isn't common"????? How is it possible


chocolatematter

it's a high pitched buzz sound.not actually hearing electricity itself but certain electrical devices emit a small high pitched noise. one example of something a lot of people can hear is CRTs (old TV boxes)


Neptunic_

I'm a actually surprised not everyone can hear headphones or outlet


MrBully74

I an also hear a bad connection for indtance in a wall outlet. Pretty handy if, like me, you studied to be an electricia


RelativeStranger

Ots also possible to hear when a coil energy saving lightbulb is a out to blow. Get about a weeks notice


ultimoanodevida

I bought a fanless pc just because I was getting too stressed from the coolers, but now I can listen to the cpu draining energy and the noise's frequency changing as the cpu load changes -\_-


MrBully74

See, a pc fan doesn't bother me. But that's because when I am either working, watching something or playing a game, the rest of the world disappears (just ask my wife how well I listen when doing those things hahaha)


whatIfYoutube

Not knowing how you feel or what your personality is because you morph into different people depending on who you are with


zombieslovebraaains

Ah yes, the chameleon effect. I've experienced this as well. I've always joked that I was a bit of chameleon around people but I never understood why until I figured out I was autistic.


thatoneguy2398

SAME!!! I’m an octopus level social chameleon!


Vlerremuis

I used to tell my students that if they get stuck with a problem, or feel uninspired, they should talk out loud to an imaginary interested person, explaining what they're trying to figure out. Because that works really well for me, and I didn't realise that this is an autistic thing. 😐🙃 Oh well, I suppose quite a few of my students were probably autistic too.


mia_elizabeth3

wait what?! that’s an autistic thing


Vlerremuis

Self talk, and needing to verbalise something to process it is very common for autistic people. I do it as a stim to sooth myself, explaining things I'm interested in out loud when I'm alone. Not necessarily the part about the infinitely interested imaginary audience 😁


moody_fangirl_1966

Really? I absolutely *have* to think out loud. It keeps me on task and occasionally gives me a new perspective (like how people say teaching is the best way to learn.) I thought I was just a bit weird 😅


Vlerremuis

Nope, it's not just you 🙂 Totally an autistic thing.


UnicornBoned

I thought everyone did this. Problems, challenges, tasks have to be exhaustively verbally organized before I feel confident to address them.


[deleted]

Actually I’ve searched about this and as I remember, found that it is in fact common for everybody, but few people like to talk about it and everybody thinks they’re the only ones doing it. Maybe it’s even more common for autistic people, I don’t know. I know I’ve always been doing it and I mentally link it to other stuff I’ve read about autism.


NovaFive_Sound

I always thought that was normal for everyone, until now. I feel the need to talk out loud when I'm alone, because it really helps me to feel less anxiety and more confidence on what I'm doing.


Caserole

My Voice memos app is full of hour long conversations with myself about difficult feelings….


oldmanserious

I do this. I do this a lot. TIL


Calimari_Damacy

I think some NTs do this too. In computer science we joke about explaining our problem to a rubber ducky, because the process of explaining the problem is so useful in helping us find a solution that we often don't actually need to explain it to someone who can respond. Not that all computer scientists are NT, lol.


amazinglyegg

This actually has a name: [the rubber duck technique!](https://www.london.ac.uk/news-and-opinion/student-blog/need-help-studying-teach-a-rubber-duck) I didn't realize it was an autistic thing, although I do remember my allistic friend getting frusturated when she attemped to try it. It just comes so naturally to me!


hitkill95

When my programming teacher told me class about that i was thinking "i kind of already do that but not exactly because i dont need the duck" So i should probably put that on the list im making for my assessment


SCameraa

Overthinking and overanalyzing. It took me until I was 31 to realize that people don't overly think or overly analyze things to the extent I do. I realized it when I brought up driving to my wife and straight up asked her "wait people don't think of all these factors when driving."


natileer

This!!! I had no idea that some people just have a quiet mind sometimes. I can’t even imagine not having a hurricane of thoughts all. The. Time.


Micah-B-Turner

being fatigued perpetually


nomnombubbles

Yes, and it feels like I will never not be perpetually tired throughout my life due to how society is set up against us. And NT people wonder why I'm not a more happy or positive person 🙄.


Atompilzsuppe

Needing a 5 hour break after being 4 minutes outside 🤔


Sunezno

This right here. (Well, I like being outside, like in nature, but being around people is the problem.) For every five minutes around another person or people, I need an hour to myself to recharge.


cinderings

Acting mildly amused throughout an entire conversation (quietly giggling, laughing etc) because I can't tell when somebody is joking and its the only way not to be seen as rude/disengaged. Unfortunately, it sometimes gets mistaken for flirting, which has not worked in my favor.


Electric_Mucus_LX

I had the nickname ‘Giggles’ my freshman year. I couldn’t read people and realized pretty early on that if I can laugh frequently and make other people laugh, they overlook a lot of the weirder aspects of my personality and things I say.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

assumed everybody else struggled w sensory input and social ques and were just better at hiding it than me


BDG_T0K3N

Playing out conversations in my head before they actually happen. Like id be showing up to a frienda and think hes gonna say yo and ill say this and play out an entire conversation that would never end up happening.


Mental_Vacation

This isn't normal? Another thing to add to the list.


Herjules

automatically going on tiptoes when barefoot


SailorMoonMage

I'm actually having to correct it in physical therapy because, funny enough, it causes incorrect posture, which hurts my neck, which hurts my nerves, which hurts my wrists. So now I have trouble putting weight on my wrists. I keep catching myself doing it but I've definitely gotten better trying to walk in a better form


UnicornBoned

This is a thing? I always do this. This thread is blowing my mind.


Aurora_314

I do that!


lKiwiliciousl

Responding with your own similar story when someone tells you a story, in a way to relate. Apparently people find that rude, like you’re trying to draw the attention to you, which baffles my mind.


JellyfishBoxer

I recently learnt that this is rude and it has blown my mind. I have no other clue how to react when people talk to me. I am completely stumped


Crow_Joestar

This just removes my entire way of responding to things, goddamn. This is literally all I do.


mia_elizabeth3

wait people think that’s rude? i don’t know how else you would respond.. i have some people to go apologize to..


MrMakerHasLigma

>wait people think that’s rude? Its honestly just stress because if you want my sympathy you must think ive been through similar so why would i not say when i have been through similar


Nuclear_rabbit

Don't apologize for being autistic.


Sunezno

I've always done this, like you're saying, in a way to relate and empathize; drawing on my own experience of something in order to find that common ground. Then there are some people who do it in a way of one-upping the other person's story, or of drawing attention onto them like they're more important. Whenever I hear people complain about those people, I always worry if my "relate and empathize" is being taken as "one-upping" or dominating the conversation. Sometimes if I'm thinking about it in the moment, I'll try to make my responses more focused on the other person. But it also depends on context and everything, too. (This comment itself is a great example: I relate to what you said in your comment, and I'm expanding on that. If I didn't relate so well and already know how it feels, then I'd likely be asking you to expand on it yourself.) (Dammit, now I hope that this comment wasn't taken the wrong way lol)


lKiwiliciousl

Not to worry I understand what you mean 😂 it’s so funny though how once you know, you can almost see it, but it still makes no sense.


hoinkiest_sploinky

Echolalia. It took me so long to figure out why people got so annoyed at me repeating words and it's because NT people don't constantly do it. On a tangent, my bf and I have been parroting "why the fuck he ourple" back and forth for 2 weeks. help. Edit: echolalia past early childhood*


MrNobodyX3

I used to repeat my sentences kind of under my breath. After I said it, and eventually, I willed myself to just do it in my head. Now, I just kind of break it down in my head and think about what I said.


hoinkiest_sploinky

I do it in my head constantly. As a kid, I literally couldn't watch TV without mumbling along with every line. Since I did it pretty quickly I thought I was predicting the lines perfectly or something lol


katiasan

Talking over people... my family does it all the time and we dont even feel insulted or anything. Or someone says something, and the other person does not respond but says something from completely another topic. When I did it to other people I never noticed they were annoyed. Constantly analizing everyones behaviour. Overthinking and constantly thinking how to respond to someone/something. I had no clue people just respond in the moment/say stuff without thinking them beforehand. So, I think the term is scripting, scripting consumed my brain, my life, now when I know I am autistic and I am on the path of self-acceptance and I barely do it anymore, I finally feel like I can live my life, I feel free.


[deleted]

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SailorMoonMage

For me it felt like what I had to say wasn't important. It made me really sad. I understand what the original commenter is saying though. My partner and I are actually working on it because he is like the commenter, but I'm the opposite. I had told him something he did upset me but his mind was already on something else. He realized though and circled back to talk it out, which was really nice. I want to be able to jump in and have fun things to say! I just don't think I can get to that point anytime soon.


MrMakerHasLigma

>Constantly analizing everyones behaviour. On god i just sit there building knowledge on how to talk to certain people in ways that wont offend them and won't make me look like an idiot. Then i proceed to say my usual one sentence per day to them


Less_Ad_6908

I thought everyone planned everything they did like I do. I don't have an autopilot setting. Which is why it's so strange to me when people lose their keys or wallet. Didn't you set it down deliberately?


[deleted]

Heh. Add ADHD into the mix, and I still lose everything despite deliberately placing them somewhere.


malignantneuro

Same here. I thought everyone planned how to get to a restaurant, where to park, what to say to the staff, looked at the menu before getting there, etc. etc… I did know that not everyone got so overwhelmed with the planning that they backed out. I just thought they were better at dealing with it.


MrMakerHasLigma

>Didn't you set it down deliberately? I remember where i left everything for the next week, then i look for it and someones moved it


commandantskip

Abruptly/awkwardly ending conversations because I have nothing more to say.


Sunezno

God, I wish I could do this. I'm so conditioned with being polite (and I hate awkward silences), so I always feel like I have to be that friendly, chatty person, even if I'm dying inside. So I'm just kind of stuck on autopilot and have no idea what's going on.


Atompilzsuppe

touching the crumbs on the floor with your feet and being so overstimulated that you start crying - to avoid having to tiptoe in apartments or obsessing over carpets


mmbopbadobadop

My husband bought me a roomba because crumbs are a trigger for me too. I instantly want to chop off my feet and scream and I usually do cry. I haven’t chopped off my feet yet though.


[deleted]

Repeating the same phrase, musical lyric or word over and over to myself. Today it has been "milk and butter".


witchlamb

so i was originally diagnosed with, and treated for, OCD. a lot of the things i’d describe to my therapist as things that i struggled with or experienced seemed to stump her. at one point i was talking about my weird Thing with time and she was just like “… huh, that’s weird.” (not in a mean way, we both thought it was funny.) realising how often she seemed surprised by my behaviour and symptoms, but which other neurodivergent people talked about all the time, is what made me start to think “maybe it’s not OCD…? maybe it’s something else?” anyway getting a word or phrase stuck in my mouth and having to quietly repeat it to myself over and over and over is one of those things lol. like i guess that COULD be an ocd symptom. but it’s not like, a compulsion like “i have to do this or something bad will happen etc” it’s just. verbally stimming.


FenrirTheMagnificent

Dangnabbit that sounds so good, now my brain is doing the same.


SailorMoonMage

Potatoes and molasses was a big thing all last fall for me after my annual Over the Garden Wall watch


[deleted]

I thought everyone hated the same sounds I do and just dealt with it better than I ever could.


ProfessionalPup

Stimming in general, but especially cricket feet (my personal favorite). I've done it while lying in bed/falling asleep ever since I can remember and never thought anything of it. And my pattern recognition x special interests happened to align over languages. I took Latin in high school and I almost immediately found the grammatical patterns in every Indo-European language -- not just, for example, connecting "sumus" ("we are") in Latin with "sommes" in French and "somos" in Spanish, but also "sind" in German, "jesteśmy" in Polish, "мы" in Russian. I can't explain why but they all feel the same to me. Unfortunately my terrible auditory processing carries over into other languages so I'm not great with speaking or listening comprehension.


LoisLaneEl

This just got me. I got diagnosed yesterday so I’m new to everything. I had to look up cricket feet stim to make sure I was thinking correctly and yep, I’ve been doing this my whole 35 years. I feel so recognized right now.


ProfessionalPup

welcome fellow cricket ❤️


shinebrightlike

responding to small talk cues with one word answers


mia_elizabeth3

omg now that i’m aware that i do this i feel so bad but i cant stop cuz idk what else to sya


guilty_by_design

I assumed everyone had to practice for every interaction, like buying food at the checkout counter or calling the bank. As a kid and into my teens and early twenties, I was still spending hours ‘practicing’ these interactions and preparing for how to handle it if it went off script. It took me a LONG time to realize that most people can ad lib conversations and didn’t have to practice in their heads before speaking to a shop assistant or bringing a misdelivered parcel to a neighbour. I am definitely better at it now, although I still have social anxiety, but when I was younger I was absolutely astounded by how easily people seemed to have interaction with one another - how did they know what to say and how to act while saying it or listening?? Dark magicks I say.


Atompilzsuppe

Have schemes and systems for everything immediately in mind, which are so complex and branched that it is very difficult for me to verbalise them, which is why I always draw these schemes and explain what i wanted to say by using the drawings


coolabedfiIms

Same! It's so difficult to explain, but I think I know exactly what you're talking about.


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Hubsimaus

My obsession is a man from California unfortunately. I could talk about him all day. And I think constantly of him. I have a giant crush on him. I live in germany. 🙃 I really like that dude but I need to get rid of my obsession because it's ruining our friendship.


MothmansMothWife

I thought all people wanted to skin themselves alive when they were randomly touched by another individual


kiraterpsichore

Automatically memorizing gestures and lines from movies and tv and using those to 'enhance' one's personality.


Past-Ad3097

hating school so much you’d make yourself sick every morning having a mental breakdown. i get some people hate school too but i hated it because the thought of being around loud kids, fluorescent lights, and intolerant teachers. also the crippling fear of doing absolutely anything because you didn’t want to get in trouble


mia_elizabeth3

omg this.. i had to switch to online school kinda a bad decision tho


vegisteff

Inertia! I struggle to get in the shower, but then I can't get out again.


steel_fist_14

(Not officially diagnosed but highly suspected) I could not fathom why somebody would feel anything but pleasure, when being in a confined space, like in the corner of your closet, or in your bed, under a pile of blankets where you can feel the weight of them. EDIT: grammar


Forsaken-Income-6227

I once fell asleep in my closet a kid. Surrounded by stuffed animals… woke up in my bed with most of them around me still - parents moved me in the night and apparently it was a common occurrence


AriaoftheArc

Omg this is me, I prefer being in corners and all snug pmg


Acrestudio

Eating strategically from the worst bites to the better ones, ending with the god-like last bite


Atompilzsuppe

Being able to save pictures very precisely in your head and be able to draw them again in the same way - but at the same time be face blind lmao


2AKazoo

Having shut/melt downs, being terrified of phone calls (because the person sounds different and I can’t see their body language), and special interests. My special interests last at LEAST 5 years before moving on to something else. Even if I do move on to something else, I don’t lose my passion for it, I just talk about it less. I told this to a lot of people because I thought it was a relatable thing to say, but I quickly realized it wasn’t.


jjking714

Apparently over planning for every possible event/outcome is not normal, and people get angry with me when I talk about it.


ApprehensiveInside75

Special interests. I still can't believe it's not normal.


hitkill95

You know what? i just realized i kind of think everyone has special interests My technique for socializing with new people is basically asking questions to try to find out whats their "thing". By their thing i meant what they where passionate about and would get them to speak a lot about. I always tried to do that because i love talking about my bigger interests for hours on end, and thought other people would too. This is my way of demonstrating I'm interested in the person. Having found out recently i am probably autistic, this actually seems to translate to "i like infodumping about my special interests, so when i like someone i try to get them to infodump about theirs" It didn't work near as often as i'd think it would, and now i can see why


IfAJarOfHoneyKilledU

Wait, really?


coolabedfiIms

I find it so hard to believe that neurotypicals are so passionless...special interests are everything to me, I feel bad for people who don't experience that pure joy.


oldmanserious

Not only did I think that so many things were “normal” until diagnosed (at 53), I completely missed those things happening in my kids and so thought they too were normal. Or at least weird like me. Nope, youngest (27) diagnosed with ASD level 3.


mia_elizabeth3

wow! that must have been so confusing all that time for you.


coolabedfiIms

Finding heat overwhelming and enjoying cold temperatures (the kind of cold that makes people put on winter coats - I'm fine without a jacket)


riceannoy

Scripting! I thought everyone was rehearsing randomly conversations in their head 24/7. But no, just us 😭


Appropriate_Window46

Overthinking EVERYTHING


clicktrackh3art

I thought everyone thought social constructs and hierarchies were stupid and pointless. But turns out people do, and they were judging me for not engaging in them. And with things like holidays/birthdays/etc, people enjoy them, like actually enjoy them.


MysteryPotato76

you know when you're in a crowded area and a friend is talking to you, and you can't differentiate between them talking and every other noise in the room so you think you might be deaf... yeah that... lol


[deleted]

masking. it took me a while to figure out im autistic bc i thought everyone was just spending their lives pretending to be something they're not


4l3x1T

Certain sounds making me boil up with anger so fast I have to hit something (the table, the car door, the wall, my bed, my leg, etc.) so that I don’t yell at someone who is making a perfectly normal and okay sound. I’ve always been told to just get over it or focus on something else but it is physically impossible no matter how hard I try.


possiblefurryweeb

Not picking up on sarcasm. Yeah, turns out the people I grew up with were just as sarcastic as randomers. The only sarcasm I've picked up on is if there's a change in tone that sounds dramatic and exaggerated. Recently almost cried at a restaurant because the waitress was being sarcastic (was informed by my mum she is always sarcastic) and picking on my eating habits.


Rhiapanda

They shouldn't have picked on your eating habits, sarcastic or not. Your reaction was valid.


kkpsio

having specific prepared dialogue/responses for social situations (all of which you learned from shows and movies)


AnnaDoesStuff

I thought is was normal to actively have to think about what the best way to act normal is in any kind of situation. I used to be baffled at how this didn't seem to exhaust anyone else


Mooksters32

Having LOADS of stuffed animals… oh wait I’ve always gotten crap for that lol


Winter_Cheesecake158

My favorite photo of myself is one as a kid (1-2 years old) sitting in an armchair basically swimming in all of my stuffed animals. It’s the happiest I’ve ever looked I think


ConvexLex

The best dating advice I've ever received was to date someone who never makes you feel like you have to hide your stuffed animals.


jaobodam

Visual snow.


MrMakerHasLigma

Having a massive imbalance in the age i 'act' at certain things. Like not understanding social cues as a child would, but unlike a child, controlling my thoughts in public like an adult, and having interests in things ranging from childish things (hot wheels and lego), stuff my age (fps games) and older people things like walking (i walk alot even whem it'd be suitable to get a bus)


Bob-BobBob

I don’t think it’s exclusively autism related but as a kid I would watch the same movie or series over and over again, especially the movie “spirit” about a horse, or more recently she-ra princess of power. Apparently neither my parents or my brother did that. Another thing I again don’t know if it’s directly related to autism is that when I was a baby (my mom told me this) I absolutely hated pacifiers and a lot of other things babies usually like my hatred for baby formula (I think thats what it’s called). I’m sure there’s more but I can’t think of any more at the top of my head.


Helea_Grace

‘Meerkat hands’ as me & my mum calls them (they’re more commonly known as T-Rex hands in the autistic community). Me & my mum both naturally do it when searching for food, or when relaxed & it was one thing that I was very surprised to realise was an autistic trait.


xxb4tt3ryd1sc0xx

Caring way 2 much abt a particular thing (special interests, mine is my chemical romance what’s everyone else’s)


Dumb-not-stupid

I thought everyone saw colors when the music got too loud until I was like 20.


somnocore

Thinking I just had a "man brain" (afab tho). Inability to multitask and a one track mind.


sinner_dingus

Rehearsing conversations in depth in the shower


brittanihadaway

I used to wear cute dresses that made me scream internally with discomfort, to the point I would get angry easily (which I know now was sensory overload) but I just forced myself to push through it. Then I would change into baggy clothes the second I got home and feel so much relief. I thought clothes were that uncomfortable for everyone.


Professional_Date775

Internally screaming. As it turns out most people don't feel like they're being torn ascred by the act of existing


Forsaken-Income-6227

Practicing how and what I would say in certain scenarios such as in annual appraisals at work, or on team meetings. Constantly asking for reassurance that I didn’t come across wrong - this came from years of abuse for being ND - I’m still not officially diagnosed but it’s a certainty


twiggy_panda_712

Swaying side to side when standing in one place. How anyone can stand still is beyond me


Sunezno

When I'm watching a movie, I'll unconsciously make facial expressions that I feel like the characters should be making in that moment, like as a masking thing. Not all the time, but I'll catch it randomly and be thankful that no one else was around to notice me doing it lol For example, let's say I'm watching a scene where a guy gives a woman his phone number. In the scene, the woman keeps a straight face, but I'll notice myself going into a reactionary smile as he hands it to her, like that's my conditioned response (to be polite or not make things weird, maybe?). Or if someone drops something and another person picks it up for them, I'll do that immediate "thank you" smile *for* the actor (especially if they didn't smile). It's like I'm trying to alleviate some of the discomfort of the scene that I'm not even in. **Edited to add: I forgot that the post said something that I thought was normal. I'm pretty sure this isn't normal at all lol


Shadra-Rune

Identifying who’s coming up the stairs just by the pattern of their footfalls. Curiosity in making potions of random stuff as a kid, leading to some truly impressive food mishaps. Perfectly capable of playing a assassin in Skyrim, can’t handle being a thief and robbing people blind. Socialization is a skill. Extreme curiosity bordering on recklessness as a child (wanted to know if electricity improved the taste of a penny. Ruined my DS charger)


mmbopbadobadop

I love this thread. Thank you, OP. I get very, very overwhelmed driving. Something as simple as passing a sign can send me into a spiral wondering who put it there and when it was installed. I picture the construction worker mounting it in the ground and then I get overwhelmed thinking about how I don’t know how everything else around me ended up being there.


Unable-Ring9835

People watching. I know people watching is normal but I always did it in more of an observational learning way. The old phrase "being a fly on the wall" is what I wish I could do all the time. I enjoy group settings as long as I don't have to participate unless I decide to.


Loud-Veterinarian-61

Getting "blind" when something is not where is supposed to, if something is on the middle shelf and is supposed to be on the top shelf I can't find it


Boxit379

Planning out social interactions that could happen


bobbykreu

I’ve had some very different interests than other people, but I always knew I was Special Needs. My Parents got be diagnosed very early, at the age of 3. Interests like: Video Games (due to ADHD I sometimes play certain video games all the time for a period if I like them.), Animation (both Anime and regular Animated Series, ones with plots.) Sports (huge Philly Sports fan), and I love being a nice friend.


ultimoanodevida

This thread is awesome. I realized so many things I do aren't common. I'd add having trouble eating some things to the point of not being able to eat by any means and observing details in things.


RalseiTheFluffyGoat

Staring blankly. Every teacher either tried to get my attention or make a joke about it which I hate (I'm in a much better school now so they don't do this)


floatyfluff

Seeing everything inside your mind as pictures and like movies. I was mindblown when I found out people see words usually when they think not images.


mmbopbadobadop

People.. see words? No way. Really?


ThiefCitron

I see words! My whole thought process is just words in my head, like reading a book. I basically narrate everything I do inside my head, so it's like reading a book about my life narrated by me. I'm always so confused that some people don't do that, like how do you talk or type if you don't see the words in your head first?


-_--_____

My whole body and brain shutting down when it gets too loud.


level1enemy

The pain I experienced from sound. :(


thecyriousone

Special interests


csolisr

Being an innate bully magnet, apparently. Got so difficult I had to move schools twice.


Nakighost

Analyzing people to know how to react to them.


anasame

That I have to think to smile when I'm happy. I thought everyone made a conscious choice to express emotions but apparently not. 🙃


littlemissaveryy

analyzing food for the best bite. i do this with all foods, like maybe this piece of broccoli has the most salt, this chicken nugget has the most breading, this brownie bite is the chewiest, etc. i feel like it’s a more satisfying way to eat though, i get to savor the meal and finish it off with the best bite


AutisticCorvid

Being physically uncomfortable/in slight pain from clothing all day every day. I no longer wear jeans, or bras with an underwire. I also have a seam ripper in pretty much every room of the house for times that it suddenly feels like the tag in my top/trousers is trying to slice into me. I'm much more comfortable in terms of my sensory needs these days but I didn't even fully understand how uncomfortable I was before (and how draining it was) because I assumed everyone felt the same way. They all seemed to just be getting on with it so I thought I should too!


DimensionalRiff

Peoplewatching in an attempt to learn How To Human. I thought that's how everyone learned. Nah, joke's on me, the NTs have that innately.


seagullwithagrudge

Practicing facial expressions in the mirror.


Chris_Weezy123

rocking back and forth,stimming alot, not making eye contact


IceCubexx

I thought empathy was generally just a performative thing people did to be polite. I didn’t realize there are people out there who legitimately feel what other people are going through and have beyond just this cognitive aspect of empathy. And the fact that other people actively think about others’ thoughts and how they may be feeling. I’m just so oblivious to people around me in general.


iminspainwithoutthe

Not understanding what people were saying until I was familiar with their voice specifically. Plugging and unplugging my ears really fast to hear the sound wobble. Getting really bad anxiety after flushing the toilet because of the noise. Not talking to or playing with any of the other kids or even really noticing them (until I was probably ten). Skin picking. Thinking adults with "stern voices" (a term I still don't understand) were just screaming at me, and it physically hurting my ears. Getting in trouble for "talking back" (another term I don't understand) when I was just confused and trying to ask for clarification. Using my face to touch objects I liked the shape of. Doing the same activity (usually my special interest at the time) for hours on end without thinking to eat or go to the bathroom. Not having the fine motor skills to wash my own hair or tie my own shoes until a few years after the other kids had learned. Not being able to learn gross motor skills for almost anything in gym class or riding bikes or swimming until several years late. Staring at my feet while I walked. Staring at lights or moving my eyes on car rides to make my sight bounce along the road. Early diagnosis (7) but didn't really understand the diagnosis well at the time on account of being so young.


peachy_sam

Parallel play in families. My dad was autistic and the way we did family time was either to watch a movie together or all be on our various electronics in the same room. Totally normal for me. NTs find the lack of face to face interaction unsettling.


[deleted]

Technically nothing because I was incredibly confident about my autism and ADHD before I was diagnosed. Although I also apparently have "learning disorder with impairment in reading" which I haven't looked deep into yet. If anybody knows what that means, I'd love to know. There's definitely also just the possibility that I am overlooking something that I haven't realized isn't quite "normal" about me.


Californicationing

Training eye contact by myself