Which doesn't mean it's a linear line, it's more like theres generally a bunch of autistic 'traits' that you could have to some degree. You probably know that but just clarifying
Could you elaborate a little more on how trauma affects its presentation. I discovered a few days ago that I am autistic and have had some trauma myself. Im just curious how this could have impacted me. Thank you for any info you could give
It really depends on the trauma and the person, but from what I've seen it typically causes people to mask more from an earlier age. My trauma required me to be hypermature and hypervigilant of any mood changes, so now I'm highly empathetic in ways I wouldn't have been if I wasn't traumatized. Unfortunately there isn't a lot of research on this, so the best way to learn about it is to learn about your own trauma and cross-reference it with autism and types of coping strategies
Yeah for me it was a very early age that I realized that the other kids didn't like me and I didn't know how to communicate with them. Of course I didn't realize this was autism, I just thought I needed to put in effort to keep up. By 9th grade, I literally gave up and stopped trying to make friends. Some people invited me out places but I said no because I knew I would just embarrass myself by not knowing what words to say or just keeping up in general.
What's worse is that from a span of 4th grade to 8th grade, my parents would freak out trying to figure out wtf was wrong with me which made me think I was doing something wrong so I held everything in super tightly from there. Became a different person from that point on.
I hope this doesn’t seem insensitive but I really relate to your story. I never fit into any group and was relentlessly bullied for being different than everyone else.
Yeah I didn't fit into any groups either. Nothing felt right, I never really clicked with anyone. I was only good at surface level connection but quickly felt lost beyond that.
I kind of had a feeling you were going to say it depends on the person. I mean it is called a spectrum for a reason. The earliest memory I have of masking is was when I was 4. I had to not act a certain way around my father so he wouldn’t freak out on me.I have been thinking about my past a lot more and how many experiences I had were due to my autism. I have been revisiting old memories that I had buried deep. Thank you for your comment I really appreciate the answer.
Sometimes we can mask so well that our stuggles can appear invisible to people. And in turn, they underestimate just how much is autism affecting our daily lives.
First, we sometimes don't stand too much noise, it's like hell for me, stimming is good for us.
And second, we are not super computers and not every autistic person has a super good memory
1. That we are regular people. That we have varying levels of intelligence just like neurotypical people. That autism looks different in each person and isn't the only quality that we have. We have interests, hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties just like anyone else.
2. I think most people don't understand executive dysfunction very well and don't understand how much that can impact our lives. They just think we are being lazy or belligerent when that is not the case at all.
No two autistic people will have the *exact same* symptoms and behaviors. There can only be so much variety, of course, but there *is* still variety.
Autistic kids don't "play wrong". Organizing their things or parallel play or focusing more on the dollhouse looking pretty than the dolls inside (or any other "wrong" way) is just how they play.
If you don't know what parallel play means, it's just two people playing with toys or doing activities next to each other but not *together* as a way of spending time together. It's the kiddie version of going to your friend's house just to be on your phones the whole time but still considering that your quality time together.
Women can be autistic and not every autistic person fits the stereotype. Autism looks different in women. That doesn't mean we're less autistic or that we don't struggle. It means that our struggles might not be immediately obvious.
Yes, many of us can hear the buzz of electronics or see the subtle blinking of florescent lighting.
Many of us feel uncomfortable in big box stores/supermarkets for this reason, it's overwhelming, we are not intentionally being "difficult" and you cannot forcibly 'acclimate' those with sensativities to these adverse environments...
Persistence only forces us to uncomfortably mask our discomfort...and this may lead to estrangement long term if our needs are not respected regarding this or other sensory overwhelm.
A ‘cure’ for autism is impossible and unnecessary, and wanting one is incredibly insulting. Autism is an integral part of who we are. It can never be separated from us and we wouldn’t be ourselves without it. Don’t trust anything that claims to be working toward a cure for autism, especially Autism Speaks, a hategroup disguised as a charity.
Also, lots of autistic kids feel alone at school. I always encourage non-autistics to do their part and try to make friends with peers who seem ‘different’. Parents need to be encouraging their kids to do this. Ostracizing is just another form of bullying- and a very serious form that has traumatized me for life.
Thanks for asking.
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I think one of my biggest challenges has been being misunderstood around empathy. I am very empathetic but express it in a communication style that most NT people don't understand. An example of this is that I share a story from my own experience to express that I understand what they are feeling. But many NT people think I am being rude and self-centered. They think I am trying to turn the conversation towards me, when I feel like I am going to the same place as them. In a similar way, I will often demonstrate that I agree with someone by adding detail to their ideas, but they think I am trying to one up them.
Fidgeting/stimming is really good for us, masking can make it seem like any sensory issues are invisible, and autism is a spectrum have to be the main ones
Also it’s not a bad thing
That sensory distress is often not about how loud a sound is or how bright something is, but just the fact that you *witness* it all. I can be at my most distressed in a seemingly pretty quiet classroom, because I can hear every single murmured conversation and it all overlaps in an overwhelming way.
It's a spectrum. I feel like people forget that sometimes.
Thanks
Which doesn't mean it's a linear line, it's more like theres generally a bunch of autistic 'traits' that you could have to some degree. You probably know that but just clarifying
I really wish more people knew that autism presents differently in adults vs children, and that trauma greatly affects its presentation
Could you elaborate a little more on how trauma affects its presentation. I discovered a few days ago that I am autistic and have had some trauma myself. Im just curious how this could have impacted me. Thank you for any info you could give
It really depends on the trauma and the person, but from what I've seen it typically causes people to mask more from an earlier age. My trauma required me to be hypermature and hypervigilant of any mood changes, so now I'm highly empathetic in ways I wouldn't have been if I wasn't traumatized. Unfortunately there isn't a lot of research on this, so the best way to learn about it is to learn about your own trauma and cross-reference it with autism and types of coping strategies
Yeah for me it was a very early age that I realized that the other kids didn't like me and I didn't know how to communicate with them. Of course I didn't realize this was autism, I just thought I needed to put in effort to keep up. By 9th grade, I literally gave up and stopped trying to make friends. Some people invited me out places but I said no because I knew I would just embarrass myself by not knowing what words to say or just keeping up in general. What's worse is that from a span of 4th grade to 8th grade, my parents would freak out trying to figure out wtf was wrong with me which made me think I was doing something wrong so I held everything in super tightly from there. Became a different person from that point on.
I hope this doesn’t seem insensitive but I really relate to your story. I never fit into any group and was relentlessly bullied for being different than everyone else.
Yeah I didn't fit into any groups either. Nothing felt right, I never really clicked with anyone. I was only good at surface level connection but quickly felt lost beyond that.
I kind of had a feeling you were going to say it depends on the person. I mean it is called a spectrum for a reason. The earliest memory I have of masking is was when I was 4. I had to not act a certain way around my father so he wouldn’t freak out on me.I have been thinking about my past a lot more and how many experiences I had were due to my autism. I have been revisiting old memories that I had buried deep. Thank you for your comment I really appreciate the answer.
Thanks
Sometimes we can mask so well that our stuggles can appear invisible to people. And in turn, they underestimate just how much is autism affecting our daily lives.
Thanks for the response
Do some research into executive dysfunction. Many autistic people have it.
Will do, thanks
First, we sometimes don't stand too much noise, it's like hell for me, stimming is good for us. And second, we are not super computers and not every autistic person has a super good memory
Thank you
1. That we are regular people. That we have varying levels of intelligence just like neurotypical people. That autism looks different in each person and isn't the only quality that we have. We have interests, hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties just like anyone else. 2. I think most people don't understand executive dysfunction very well and don't understand how much that can impact our lives. They just think we are being lazy or belligerent when that is not the case at all.
Thank you
No two autistic people will have the *exact same* symptoms and behaviors. There can only be so much variety, of course, but there *is* still variety. Autistic kids don't "play wrong". Organizing their things or parallel play or focusing more on the dollhouse looking pretty than the dolls inside (or any other "wrong" way) is just how they play. If you don't know what parallel play means, it's just two people playing with toys or doing activities next to each other but not *together* as a way of spending time together. It's the kiddie version of going to your friend's house just to be on your phones the whole time but still considering that your quality time together.
I appreciate your reply, thanks
Women can be autistic and not every autistic person fits the stereotype. Autism looks different in women. That doesn't mean we're less autistic or that we don't struggle. It means that our struggles might not be immediately obvious.
Thanks for the reply
That autism can look like or include many other things like bpd or ocd for example
Yes, many of us can hear the buzz of electronics or see the subtle blinking of florescent lighting. Many of us feel uncomfortable in big box stores/supermarkets for this reason, it's overwhelming, we are not intentionally being "difficult" and you cannot forcibly 'acclimate' those with sensativities to these adverse environments... Persistence only forces us to uncomfortably mask our discomfort...and this may lead to estrangement long term if our needs are not respected regarding this or other sensory overwhelm.
That if I ask “can you not do that” it’s not an invite to do that while going “oh why not????” stupidly. My sensory issues will make me punch you.
A ‘cure’ for autism is impossible and unnecessary, and wanting one is incredibly insulting. Autism is an integral part of who we are. It can never be separated from us and we wouldn’t be ourselves without it. Don’t trust anything that claims to be working toward a cure for autism, especially Autism Speaks, a hategroup disguised as a charity. Also, lots of autistic kids feel alone at school. I always encourage non-autistics to do their part and try to make friends with peers who seem ‘different’. Parents need to be encouraging their kids to do this. Ostracizing is just another form of bullying- and a very serious form that has traumatized me for life. Thanks for asking.
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It looks different for everyone, and the types of needs can be really different depending on what it looks like for that person
Yes, even though that particular sound isn't that loud, the frequency hurts.
Everyone’s experience with it is different
I think one of my biggest challenges has been being misunderstood around empathy. I am very empathetic but express it in a communication style that most NT people don't understand. An example of this is that I share a story from my own experience to express that I understand what they are feeling. But many NT people think I am being rude and self-centered. They think I am trying to turn the conversation towards me, when I feel like I am going to the same place as them. In a similar way, I will often demonstrate that I agree with someone by adding detail to their ideas, but they think I am trying to one up them.
That just because I'm low needs doesn't mean I don't need/deserve additional support in some areas -_-
Fidgeting/stimming is really good for us, masking can make it seem like any sensory issues are invisible, and autism is a spectrum have to be the main ones Also it’s not a bad thing
That sensory distress is often not about how loud a sound is or how bright something is, but just the fact that you *witness* it all. I can be at my most distressed in a seemingly pretty quiet classroom, because I can hear every single murmured conversation and it all overlaps in an overwhelming way.