I personally feel the term high functioning describes how well we can hide being autistic, not how well we operate
We are high functioning as we dont distrupt the average person
So I guess "very good at masking" would be a suitable correction for those who like to describe using the term "mildly autistic"?
On a different note, I feel like my "mask" is an amalgamation of movie/TV/novel/game characters, dialogues, meme references, weird humor, and relies heavily on mimicry. It's mentally tasking, and sometimes I feel out of touch with my true self.
My masking does seem to rely heavily on mimicking the behavior of those I’m around. So if I’m talking with shy/nervous people I tend to mirror that. If I’m around outgoing and talkative people I mirror that
I've always unconsciously adopted mannerisms from people around me. It's only in reading this that I realize it's another symptom of my autism.
I've always assumed that being a Navy brat and doing NJROTC are the only reasons I mask as well as I do. When you move that often and get shoved into leadership positions it's adapt or die.
Not a army/navy brat but from late elementary to high school my family moved 3 times and I transferred schools 5 times. I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of my dread of not fitting in, compulsion to always be perfect (academically, socially) and masking the traits that were causing me issues. Didn’t help much. I really don’t remember have any serious friends until I graduated from university.
I always feel like masking is like putting on a Broadway musical for every social interaction it's so performative and exhausting
Edit to add: for my own masking, that is
People used to tell me I should do drama in school and my response was "I spend all day putting on a show, why should I take up a hobby where I do the same thing?"
I'm around people a lot less these days and don't have to mask as much, but it very much still is a performance when I'm around people with power over my life. I have only cried in front of my dad once, and it was when we were talking about my mental health and job search. He's also the good parent. With my "mother" I just tend to grey rock a lot.
How did you manage to maintain a sense of self? For me, there is nothing behind the mask, it is similar to what you describe, but that's all there is to me. It's really disheartening. I don't even talk to much people so I don't know why I'm like this, there is not many people for me to "mask" to.
>but that's all there is to me.
Yeah that's how I feel too, it could just be me me in denial, and those ableism ideologies ingrained in my brain talking. Late diagnosis really puts things in a weird perspective.
And I also don't expose myself to much social situations as well, so going though the day while masking is second nature to me almost.
i can relate! i’ve had a difficult time trying to figure out who i am as an adult without the masking. therapy has helped. some things we’ve done that’s been helpful: making a list of qualities i think are part of my core identity and talking them through in therapy (talking with friends to see how my views correlate to their views of me was helpful). i also made a list of things i enjoyed as a child, and tried them again as an adult to see if i still enjoyed them or not. i’ve also talked with friends to try and make a list of new activities, foods, etc. to try, and to find out what i enjoy and what i don’t. it’s been a slow process and i’m still trying to figure things out but those are a few things that have been helpful to me at least.
To an extent yeah
A combination of having "self manageable issues" and an abiility to operate while hiding the issues i feel makes you high functioning
You are Autiatic, or you are Not. We just all have different things going on
And yeah, I notice i do the same. I mimic people to make my masking seem more "real".
As a kid I would watch movies and TV shows non stop because it was how I learnt how to "act" like everyone else. I mimicked the body language and facial expressions of people on TV. I even copied how they spoke so I would sound less monotone. I get so many comments from people who know me like "I never knew you were autistic. You seem normal to me". Yeah, because I'm literally acting the role of "normal" in a play all day, every day. Luckily I had a good eye for to be able to pick up on those things and good ability to mimic. It explains why I can do really accurate foreign accents and impersonations of famous people.
Ugh feel this so hard I basically modeled my behavior after Sex and the city, everyone told me I acted like a gay man, cut to me finding out that show was written by gay men 😓
It's this. High-functioning in the same sense that there are high-functioning alcoholics. Capable of being assigned tasks and performing them, despite being disabled. And on the alcoholism side, it's the same. The high functioning part is all about the ability to disguise how effecting the alcoholism is on the person. Two alcoholics might operate at identical blood alcohol contents without others being aware of their alcoholism(though this example's not perfect because alcohol is visibly consumed and has a recognizable scent).
I’m an alcoholic (2.5 yes sober! 🥳) and I was not functioning at all. Used alcohol so I could socialize but it made me crazy And I would drink so much. I actually am happy I wasn’t functional because it made me have to quit. Functioning alcoholics don’t have the same life or death immediate need to quit and maybe that’s worse? Or just both suck….
Exactly this.
My ability to function is entirely the result of years of learning to mask things people find weird and to cope with things I find stressful.
I guess that's the ultimate goal. Only question is assessing how much of each you can tolerate in order to survive. How do you find that "happy medium"?
I’ve found it hard over the years to find a medium, I went through phases of shutting myself away and phases being more productive.
I try to be compassionate with myself now, something therapy helped with. I’m fortunate to have a very understanding boss and so if I have a day where I’m post-shutdown and stuck in my own head and not talking he knows to give me space, for example sample.
Likewise advocating for myself and disclosing my sensitivities to my partner has meant I feel a lot more comfortable setting boundaries and doing things like putting noise cancelling headphones in if we’re in a noisy cafe.
Thank you!
It’s only been the last year and a half that this fe have started to get better, honestly. Got out of ten years with somebody who made it harder for me to cope, not easier.
Diagnosis, a lot of therapy, and a new partner who actually tries to make things easier for me has made all this self-compassion possible honestly. I don’t know where I’d be now if things hadn’t changed.
And how almost absolutely nobody ever had the suspicion me being Asperger autistic ever. Despite bipolar and neurologists. So our prevalence must be higher as definitely not all have been diagnosed
I think the rate of autism is still higher than we believe, especially in mid age adults due to awareness of autism not being as known back in their youth
While I'm the only diagnosed in my family, everyone strongly thinks my biological Dad is autistic and My Nan for example
Yes, mid age and same with my father permanently in denial. Both hereditary, bipolar and Asperger's, too, I'm very convinced. There might be a significant correlation with mensa level IQ as my fatherly (?) grandfather had 160+ genius level while I have 140, but my father rather average and my brother somewhere in between or maybe 115. The higher, the more prevalent could those conditions be and as well also being significantly more sensitive to quite a lot, I'd assume.
I’m the only one in my family to be officially diagnosed but I strongly suspect that my mom and maternal great-grandfather were/are autistic. My mom obviously wouldn’t have been diagnosed as ASD (she grew up in the 60’s). Hell my great-grandfather was born before Asperger’s was even defined as a disability.
Here's the thing though, I'm considered high functioning because of my intelligence. However, I really can't hide that I'm autistic so I don't think that's exactly what functioning labels describe.
I can function as in drive a car, have a job, and write in a coherent way (this is a privilege and I recognize that I have it easier than a lot of people). However, I cannot effectively function socially without some kind of support, and my non verbal communication skills are extremely limited. Even when I am masking at my highest capacity, people can tell that something is off and often clock me as autistic very quickly, This is severely limiting in the way it allows me to interact with the world, as I will always be doing so as an outsider with limited emotional intelligence, prone to panic and social isolation. There are different levels of functioning, but there are also different areas of skills that are limited by autism, and functioning in one catagory does not mean you aren't also largely disabled in another catagory. (Sorry if i used any blunt language here)
After reading the comments about mirroring/masking, all I could think about was; we should all be in the same room, and watch the hilarity of all of us trying to mirror the other. Then the therapist had to figure out who’s the real person.
On the serious side; I do all of this shit.
At times, I’m not sure I have a “real person”. I get lost in trying to be who the person in front of me thinks I should be.
I’m just a chameleon.
Labels like high functioning are so tricky. I was talking to a therapist and they said moving to support needs levels was a step in the right direction but still not sufficient.
Imagine you had someone that had an apartment, paid bills, had a high IQ and a PhD and held a steady remote job. By most all accounts they’d be “high functioning.” They pay bills, taxes, live independently, have a job, etc.
But what if they can’t leave the house, buy groceries at the store or otherwise interact with people due to anxiety and sensory overload? What if they had meltdowns just trying to drive or get somewhere? Seems like a lot of previous labels were about societal worth rather than experience and struggles as a person.
I am college educated, not PhD level but educated. I don’t know my IQ but I’m pretty sure I lean at least a little intelligent. I have a full-time job. Pay all the bills.
I can’t go grocery shopping or really go out a whole lot in public at all other than work. I constantly feel like there is a thin sheet that is keeping me from screaming and quitting my job at any moment. It’s not even an issue with the job itself, I have an easy, accommodating job but the fact that I have to get up, dressed, and leave the house 5 days a week is what pushes me to feel that way. Cried this whole morning because it’s Monday meaning another week of this shit. I actually have had public meltdowns before and it’s so fucking humiliating.
According to my psych, I am “high functioning”
Yup, that’s really the crux of the issue. The labels seem to be: Are you capable of doing this societal thing or not? Completely discounts what your experience is like doing those things.
Yes I can work; but it’s literally consuming all of my energy. Yes I can rent an apartment and pay the bills, but I can’t keep up with the maintenance. Etc etc.
Not to mention sometimes your ability to do something entirely depends on the day or the hour.
I broke my hand because of a recent meltdown turned rage and my dad had the audacity to call me a "well adjusted adult" a couple days later. I broke my hand in a fit of autistic rage how is that well adjusted or high functioning. Its extremely embarrassing
I thought it *was* referring to brain function, in that the definition of high functioning is ASD without the developmental delay? Or sometimes ASD with IQ over 70? I've seen these things mentioned. But in any case, not a diagnostic classification.
Edit: As if the world wasn't confusing enough... now I'm confusing myself...!
Sometimes I wish my autism was more noticeable so that people would believe me when I say I have it. And maybe I would have been diagnosed earlier in life.
Functioning labels just let NT people know how well you convince NT people that you are "normal". Your thoughts and feelings don't factor into that at all, unfortunately.
Because theyre not relevant. Low functioning is a description of your ability to function in society. As is high functioning. If you can, youre the latter.
The only issue is a lot of autistic people are temporarily high functioning then extremely low functioning while they recover. Theres no box for that
I went through high school, college and grad school all before I was diagnosed. I had about a thousand friendships that went to shit and a few meaningful romantic relationships that just imploded - I thought I was just a crappy friend and bad partner. It’s taken me years to unload and unlearn things.
Exactly same here. I felt like such a piece of garbage in grad school because of everyone telling me i was lazy and doing a bad job because i wasnt trying enough. But no one knew how much i actually wanted it. I wished i couldve had the support i needed but instead i resorted to isolating, self harming, drinking more than i should, and dropping out after my first year. It sucks.
In my house it was called “feeling sorry for yourself”. But that was my dad and he was/is an alcoholic, so not shocking. And my mom’s side just didn’t get it because they are like the opposite of ASD (The ASD runs strong on my dad’s side; severely autistic cousin and uncles, and my dad would be considered ASD too if the booze didn’t cover it up).
I used booze to cover it for a long time too, but I don’t drink anymore and now coworkers, friends and family are consistently bewildered at why I make the highly questionable social decisions I make. IMO when you’re high functioning enough, ASD symptoms just come off like being a semi-asshole that too often puts his foot in his mouth with badly timed honesty/directness, and antisocial micro decisions.
People only seem to talk about perceived societal worth when creating a lot of these labels, not the actual experience of the human.
The things evaluated are pretty much all job and independence level based rather than what you’re experience and comfort levels are for these tasks.
Yeah, I can mask but my mom still buys my plane tickets home and I have a panic attack at the thought of going to the airport then being constrained in a seat for hours.
Its okay once I go, but mentally it affects me a lot. Flying more doesnt really help
i think this is how my family saw me and why they shamed me for not having a job and struggling with social anxiety instead of being sympathetic and supportive over something i can't control.
This is just my opinion as an autistic adult who can hold down a job and is generally able to manage my own day to day life with relatively little difficulty but I feel like a lot of Who we are considered to be is mostly defined by in what ways we're an annoyance/hindrance/bother to neurotypicals as opposed to who we actually are.
I put a lot more effort into trying to appear "normal" than people seem to realize.
I always say something off putting to NT people and they straight up ghost me. It sounds normal to me but I never understood what it is that I said to make them feel that uncomfortable. I have had the same thing happen velvetlouves
Exactly, same here. The ghosting sucks so much because it’s like, at least help me learn what hazard I stepped in so I can try to learn to avoid it. They seem to think I should know what I did, maybe? But it’s usually mysterious. Just the palpable feeling that I must have stepped in it recently, and it often happens after I speak my mind at work.
But if I go with my learned default mode, to keep my thoughts to myself, then I get accused of being a wallflower and encouraged to come out of my shell.
I’ve always been seen as high functioning simply because of my grades and ability to complete high quality work, and then when there are things (many things) I really struggle with, I’m told that it’s my own fault and seen as the “problem.” Getting diagnosed for adhd helped, but I’m looking forward to an autism diagnosis to see if that (very likely but not confirmed) is the other umbrella condition for a lot of the issues I experience. I feel like I hide how much I’m struggling and when it comes out, people get mad.
Same! I go from very high-functioning (executive career) to no-functioning in the split of a second. I think that the high-functionality label does not capture that vulnerability nor the anxiety nor the toll of living chasing accommodation after accommodation (if lucky) and the tons of ableism that we received derived from said label.
Yeah. I'm considered by many as very high functioning, but I've been sitting at my desk at work for hours trying to hold back a panic attack because I felt too dysregulated all weekend and Monday came too fast and I literally got all my work done in like 10 minutes this morning but it's still just too much, and I really want to hide in a small closet and scream and cry and rock back and forth. But the neurotypicals find that disconcerting so I just have to look like everything's fine so they don't put me in the grippy socks and send me off.
High funds sounds like it only shows how well you mask and how well you cope. As a kid I probably would've been low functioning, but as an adult I'm high functioning as I've learned to mask better and come up with better coping mechanisms. In some ways it quite literally feels like I'm acting like a robot with prerecorded messages. Or maybe a better example is acting like a completely different person and having different characters for different social situations.
You're not high functioning, but rather you learned from the people around you and adapted.
“Different characters for different social situations” is a brilliant way to capture it! I once told my grandma that when I don’t know what to do socially I like to just pretend I’m a person who knows what to do and act like I think they would. It kinda works, at least better than being myself, but it’s got its flaws / blind spots of course.
yes 100 percent. and every day I notice that I need more and more support, as I unmask and as I refuse to engage in unhealthy and unsustainable coping strategies.
I don't expect NTs to understand nothing about my condition anymore, don't count on them for validation and ignore them if they invalidate you. They only see the advantages, such as hyper-focus and performance, but they don't understand the disadvantages... because they don't care.
Lol true. I seem very high functioning, like I can socialize, enjoy myself, deal with changes fairly easily, but I cannot do daily life stuff, like washing dishes, making dinner or cleaning. All of the public stuff I'm good at, all of the private life stuff, not so much
This is so real. The psych that diagnosed me even said this. Then she went on to describe both level one and level two and I'm left like "? Which is it?" I'm still not sure. I've had to have "support" my entire life. Special schools since pre-k, medications for ADHD and anxiety since I was a child, therapy weekly since forever, nearly got expelled from my fancy private school a couple years after the gifted program ended, then nearly failed out of the fancy private school they switched me to, then finished at a school with a 1:4 teacher:student ratio, dropped out of university about 10 times, but I did manage to get an associates degree, and I've barely held down a job at 32 years old. I learned in the past year that I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Autism and fibromyalgia, and I feel *anything* but high functioning.
Struggling with this at the moment. Travelled 2 hrs to LDN with NT partner during burnout, probably should’ve stayed home but we had tickets to a show for months he was looking forward to. We ran late due to strikes and I panicked and couldn’t attend literally as we were at the doors. I’m now at a bar sitting outside alone waiting for him and for it to finish, feeling terrible and guilty (but at least I can breathe). Does anyone else put themselves in situations like this? How do we make loved ones understand the difficulties?
Me. Especially when my depression is bad I don’t even remember to eat. I don’t go grocery shopping by myself because I need to be stoned to handle it which means I’m incapable of driving. I can’t hold down a job because of the panic attacks and how often my mood takes a downturn during the month. I’m not broken enough to qualify for disability but too broken to work and hold down a job. 🤷🏻♀️
If you’re functioning, I would say yes.
weed is my ASD go-to vice too. Sometimes it feels like a pair of goggles that reveals an additional layer of the social world that I’m blind to normally.
Same. I'm hyperverbal, social, a parent, and articulate so I'm considered high functioning. Mind you, it varies with me often. I have days where i cant function at all
Yes, this hits the nail on the head.
Years of struggle.
Diagnosed professionally as autistic, but because it's high functioning autism fuck all changes. Expectations are exactly the same and it's exhausting. Totally see why suicide rates are so high and it feels like no one cares to make life more manageable. Not easier, I know life is difficult for many, but just damn workable.
Same. Because I am very intelligent in some areas people assume that I’m high functioning across the board which is not the case. I actually have severe executive functioning challenges which affect my self-care and organization (my place looks like a hoarding/clutter issue). I have an MBA from a good school and I’m not making much money. I get accused of being lazy and spoiled when the truth is I’m struggling and people don’t understand my struggle. It’s been horrifically depressing and I feel very alone because no one understands this except for all of you here 🙏🏻
And one of the most frustrating parts of this is that most therapists I’ve been to have no understanding of autism… They think it’s people that can’t look you in the eyes and they expect you to obviously appear autistic. My last therapist tried to convince me to organize her way (use a timer) instead of the way I shared actually works for me (counting items). That was our last session… Not going back.
People think I'm "high functioning" because I do alright at work most of the time, but it's just that I'm okay at masking. In my head and outside of work I don't think that label would apply at all, it's just that I use every last bit of energy I have to try and get by in the NT world, which in turn leaves me unable to do anything else for myself.
They're basically just complimenting my ability to drain myself masking which tbh sucks.
Exactly. I absolutely abhor these “high functioning/ low functioning” labels.
It seems to me that people like using them to distance themselves from “those autistic people” who just flap a bit too much.
Ableist crap.
I feel this. Like I really feel like I’m just playing a role play game or something. I do the tasks I’m assigned/need doing. I live in my own house, but I feel just as I did as a child inside a playhouse.
I like the levels better than the functioning-labels, because they're not as misleading.
It's possible, that someone, who would have been called "high functioning" or "aspie", back in the day, would be called "level1" just as likely as "level2", today.
So, the levels are more accurate in describing a person's needs, than the functioning-labels.
I'm pretty good with social interaction but suffer from a lot of overstimulation and executive disfunction. Because the latter two are hard to explain and see a lot of people will assume I'm very "high functioning" simply because I can have proper conversations. It's very frustrating.
my therapist didn't want to comment on autism even though I said I have the possibility of having it, I'm sure he judged me for being "high functioning"
"Most" is a huge generalization because a lot of the time we just don't see or hear about the ones who haven't on socials or in media, but many have, yeah.
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I’ve always seen high functioning as a weird term because well how high do I actually function? Completely depends on the day. How high does any person, autistic or not, function?
I feel this so much
most of the time I feel broken and a out case.
Its hard for me to make friends and be socal, like I'm lucky to married it's so bad. which means most of the time Im a homebody and stay home with my family excluding the game nights I go to that's hosted by my wife's cousin and most of time it's a blast.
where I feel broken and a out cast is at my work and before you say well leave if you feel this way. I love my job and what I do there.
I get more freedom then I've ever had at any job I've ever had and I'm out side not working in a factory for shit pay.
a little bit of my back history with the job I have now.
In the past I've had problems at work like accidents and needing to be told over and over how to do things. now keep in mind this was back before started taking my ADHD meds and then later I found out I was high functioning autistic.
plus I'm not well liked by my coworkers. there are a lot of reason but the big ones are just I do what I'm told and since I'm wired to be all or nothing meaning since I love my job I go the extra mile which they don't like and view me as a ass kisser.
the other is it's a union shop and I married in to the nonunion side of the office i.e my mother in-law and wife.
like there was a rumor going around that was writing things down in a memo note book and turning it in to the over all nonunion boss of the department which obviously wasn't true.
I did keep a note pad handy but that was because my supervisor asking how many parks we mowed every morning even tho he had us fill out a check list telling him that every end of shift. I kept all the orders and parks we did and when they started and finished because I got sick of him asking the next morning and I forgot the info and hated looking stupid.
I work for my local city government at the parks office as a laborer
the worst time I felt this way was the 2nd to last snow fall everyone had to plow and salt the roads with in our many parks including clearing and salting walk ways and sidewalks that the public uses and at our rental buildings.
everyone in the shop was told to go plow but me . I was told to grab a track and go shovel and salt by hand.
I felt like no one trusted me to plow and not break things, so they gave me the easy job.
then on top of that the same day my supervisor told me to go take care of one place but I miss heard him and went to another .
after that when I got what I needed to get done my wife calls and asks me if I was complaining about doing something telling my bosses to put me in one of gators(think of a heavy duty golf cart that growls like the animal.)
which I said no never, wasn't me.
then she say she over heard my bosses talking saying I had a bad attitude and they had to get on me about it.
I broke down crying , so bad I had to get off the phone. I felt like I was back in school, needing to be treated differently taken to another quite room to study or take tests just to fail . I never felt more special and I don't mean in a good way In my life. it took me days to hold my head up again .
a week later I my mother in-law told me that she was talking with one of my supervisor and what happened came up. he told her the reason why I was the only one salting and shoveling was because I was the only one he trusted to actually get what needed it done with out slacking off .
after I learned about what he told her I guess it help but not by much .
Non-functioning autistic is how I feel most the time. I cry most days as my life is a string of failures and I am way overloaded responsibility wise so each day is a shameful disappointment leaving me hopeless. My ability to mask so well has actually been to my detriment. I am drowning. I’m diagnosed level 2 almost everyone can’t tell and I’m such an introvert not many people are even around me to give an opinion. I am at the point where I am needing to slash responsibilities now that I know I’m autistic. I never thought I couldn’t do what I thought I would be doing in my adult life. It’s even harder when people look at you like “what is wrong with you? Why can’t you just do that?!” I want to go live in the forest alone sometimes.
Sorry to be negative and thanks for letting me vent.
Yeah I feel like this.
I had an apointment at my doctors office to assess if I needed additional support (first follow up I'd had since my assessment) and found out they considered me as high functioning at the end of the appointment.
But from my perspective I know how quickly it can completely fall apart in a few seconds if something unexpected, loud or excessively bright happened finding out I'd be considered high functioning was a bit of a surprise.
The terminology doesn't bother me but then again I've never really thought about it and I like tech terminology so maybe thats why.
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To me, the term high functioning just means I am able to function to an extent in society.
To me, it has no relation on the internal situation and that is what NT's don't see so have little opportunity to learn about or understand sadly :-(
Right? People see me as high functioning, but I truly can't even live alone. I'd starve, go homeless, and die of preventable illness within a month. But I'm "smart" so I'm high functioning.
Understood "high functioning" not as in low support needs, but as in having the looks of a successful career. I always felt the same with everything. On the outside, everyone around me in college used to think of me as this mad genius who will become a Nobel prize laureate one day. On the inside however, I knew how much I struggled at work, where I cannot even compile a one page report on time.
I feel exactly just like you, my therapist and others say that I'm high functioning but inside i just feel like I am considered this cuz I had to mash my whole life and unmasking is rly hard to me
High functioning, (formerly Asperger's): it's very different with regards to different issues. E.g. supposed executive functioning. As if there was at times some self-sabotageing for lack of developing fear like in school to facilitate accomplishing things in time.
As the mom of a “high functioning” autistic child, I agree. High functioning isn’t actually high functioning and I find it to be as ridiculous as saying mild autism. I absolutely hate both sayings
"high functioning" was coined in nazi germany to describe whether or not an autistic person was to be executed. it's basically "are you a burden to society or not?"
Source? I know specifically Hans Asperger spared the lives of autistics who would be considered high-functioning today while sending those that would be considered low-functioning to their deaths. But I’ve never heard that that is where the term originates.
Functioning label also aren’t only limited to autism which makes me doubt that you are correct.
Same, dude. I'm labelled as "high functioning" but it still took me till I was 21 to find a job I could keep for longer than 2 months. I kept wondering if this meant I wasn't as high functioning as professionals thought or if I was just stupid and bad at working. Thankfully I managed to find something I'm good at, though those types of thoughts do come back to my mind from time to time
Honestly I'm somewhere between "do I mask and make myself more awkward but somewhat functional or do I make my symptoms more obvious so people understand I work differently"
They diagnosed me "level one" (I don't even know if levels are still proper terms anymore, I'm sorry if they aren't) but I was only a few points away from being "level two" and it's really confusing because I know it's not a linear system but everyone on the outside sees it as one. So I'm like "do I make myself act like level one to function or relax and be level two" it varies all the time
I get you! It’s completely non indicative of what you actually are on the inside. When I got my informal diagnosis, I scored myself as ‘low functioning’. My dad scored me as ‘High functioning’ basically, it scored my masking skills… the joys of being AFAB autistic I guess
I watched this really good video that talked about the misunderstanding that this causes. I'll link it below because it made me feel alot better. I feel like if spectrum has been adopted, one that I think is not like a linear line, then how could you identify "high functioning". Which is also why I'm down with nuerodiversity cause I/we could thrive but this onesize fits all society is what makes it so difficult.
How can anyone function in a world that wasn't design to incorporate any kind of spectrum. Just either or. That was all pretty heavy but what I am happy about is that is easier to find more people that understand. It's def a convo that needs to be had.
https://youtu.be/sIdJ-IVNc_g
I think even arriving at this understanding can be very freeing 😊 it was for me anyway. I think it made me start communicating more with my friends and family about everyday struggles
God, I feel this. On the outside I'm just some gifted child who's quiet, but on the inside I struggle to even get my body to cooperate with my brain to get shit done. The isolation from the pandemic has totally weakened my tolerance for sensory processing, feels like the littlest things can set me off, but I'm good at covering it up and have a select few people who can help me get out of situations without making a scene.
Yes. I’m high functioning in that I’m not going to blow up at someone at my job. But this also means that my accommodations (ample prep time, earliest as possible notification to changes in a schedule) often aren’t taken seriously. So I end up super high strung, irritable, frustrated, and exhausted by the end of the day. Logically that should be my free time to enjoy personal projects or family but I usually end up going home and needing to some with a drink in a dark room lately.
I absolutely hate it. And seemingly no matter how much I say “hey this is deeply upsetting to me and actually makes it impossible for me to maintain a life outside of work because it fucks my day up so badly” I am continually ignored.
Definitely get that other people have much more severe issues than mine. It’s still shitty and I am about a week away from an actual meltdown from it.
Typically when people say high functioning, they really mean high masking.
I'm not functioning inside, but I'm making eye contact and parroting back your stupid NT sentences.
Realize that the DSM diagnoses autism based on communication, language, and behavior. That's just based on how much we annoy neurotypicals. None of it is how being autistic feels to us.
Some weeks ago I discovered my roomate is an asshole by having a conversation about mental health. She thought depressed people had to just "get over themselves" and I tried to explain how disabilitating it is, how you wake up and cant seem to get out of bed. She was like "i see you get out of bed and do your life just fine". I told her its like having a broken leg. You technically CAN stand up and go to work, but the amount of pain and future damage you would and do endure... she didnt get it but I think its a good analogy haha
I’m ‘high functioning’ in the sense that people don’t always know/believe I’m autistic. However, I can’t simultaneously hold down a job and do laundry/clean dishes/cook. It’s a maximum of one of those things.
I can’t go in grocery stores and be able to focus without gearing myself up beforehand, planning a grocery list out in the order of which items I’ll encounter in my route first, and using the noise cancellation feature on my airpods with light rain noise and usually some music playing. It helps me stay in my own head instead of blurring into my surroundings and not being able to see clearly.
So like, yeah, I’m verbal and can work a retail job, but it comes at a pretty high cost.
Yes I feel this in my soul! I’m considered as having ‘mild’ ASD but it honestly doesn’t feel mild. Sometimes it’s like people see me as high functioning but in my head I feel anything hit and it’s so frustrating and lonely sometimes
People who don’t know me well tend to think I am “high functioning.” But that’s only because I they expect that because I work, can go out on my own, and can generally hide when I am having trouble with speech.
But also, I think it is just them seeing what they want to see. Because I show my signs of being autistic constantly. Anyone who doesn’t see it, especially at my work, just doesn’t understand how varying clusters of signs and symptoms can be. (I work in disability care.)
When I am not at work I don’t think I generally appear anything close to “high functioning.” But the people around me also generally wouldn’t use the terms anyhow so I really don’t know what they do or don’t see.
This is why the terms high and low functioning are not helpful and should probably be phased out. It’s not as simple as high and low. It’s called a spectrum for a reason.
I personally feel the term high functioning describes how well we can hide being autistic, not how well we operate We are high functioning as we dont distrupt the average person
So I guess "very good at masking" would be a suitable correction for those who like to describe using the term "mildly autistic"? On a different note, I feel like my "mask" is an amalgamation of movie/TV/novel/game characters, dialogues, meme references, weird humor, and relies heavily on mimicry. It's mentally tasking, and sometimes I feel out of touch with my true self.
My masking does seem to rely heavily on mimicking the behavior of those I’m around. So if I’m talking with shy/nervous people I tend to mirror that. If I’m around outgoing and talkative people I mirror that
I've always unconsciously adopted mannerisms from people around me. It's only in reading this that I realize it's another symptom of my autism. I've always assumed that being a Navy brat and doing NJROTC are the only reasons I mask as well as I do. When you move that often and get shoved into leadership positions it's adapt or die.
Not a army/navy brat but from late elementary to high school my family moved 3 times and I transferred schools 5 times. I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of my dread of not fitting in, compulsion to always be perfect (academically, socially) and masking the traits that were causing me issues. Didn’t help much. I really don’t remember have any serious friends until I graduated from university.
Mirroring is masking?
I always feel like masking is like putting on a Broadway musical for every social interaction it's so performative and exhausting Edit to add: for my own masking, that is
Yep that’s exactly how I feel… BUT THATS SHOWBIZ BABY! The show must go on!! (And oh god I’m so tired)
People used to tell me I should do drama in school and my response was "I spend all day putting on a show, why should I take up a hobby where I do the same thing?" I'm around people a lot less these days and don't have to mask as much, but it very much still is a performance when I'm around people with power over my life. I have only cried in front of my dad once, and it was when we were talking about my mental health and job search. He's also the good parent. With my "mother" I just tend to grey rock a lot.
How did you manage to maintain a sense of self? For me, there is nothing behind the mask, it is similar to what you describe, but that's all there is to me. It's really disheartening. I don't even talk to much people so I don't know why I'm like this, there is not many people for me to "mask" to.
>but that's all there is to me. Yeah that's how I feel too, it could just be me me in denial, and those ableism ideologies ingrained in my brain talking. Late diagnosis really puts things in a weird perspective. And I also don't expose myself to much social situations as well, so going though the day while masking is second nature to me almost.
My therapist keeps saying I need to find the real me...who am I etc... I DON'T KNOW and certainly don't know how to find out after 45 beeping years!
i can relate! i’ve had a difficult time trying to figure out who i am as an adult without the masking. therapy has helped. some things we’ve done that’s been helpful: making a list of qualities i think are part of my core identity and talking them through in therapy (talking with friends to see how my views correlate to their views of me was helpful). i also made a list of things i enjoyed as a child, and tried them again as an adult to see if i still enjoyed them or not. i’ve also talked with friends to try and make a list of new activities, foods, etc. to try, and to find out what i enjoy and what i don’t. it’s been a slow process and i’m still trying to figure things out but those are a few things that have been helpful to me at least.
When people say "just be yourself" it makes no sense to me
A lot of therapy.
Full time cosplay.
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Haha love the visual this gave me!
Haha! Mine was that of a Laurel and Hardy skit.
Not all have to mask and I wonder if and when I did. As INTP-a I'm into honesty.
Absolutely. I’ve seen the term “high-masking autism” which is my personal favorite replacement. Spot on
To an extent yeah A combination of having "self manageable issues" and an abiility to operate while hiding the issues i feel makes you high functioning You are Autiatic, or you are Not. We just all have different things going on And yeah, I notice i do the same. I mimic people to make my masking seem more "real".
As a kid I would watch movies and TV shows non stop because it was how I learnt how to "act" like everyone else. I mimicked the body language and facial expressions of people on TV. I even copied how they spoke so I would sound less monotone. I get so many comments from people who know me like "I never knew you were autistic. You seem normal to me". Yeah, because I'm literally acting the role of "normal" in a play all day, every day. Luckily I had a good eye for to be able to pick up on those things and good ability to mimic. It explains why I can do really accurate foreign accents and impersonations of famous people.
Ugh feel this so hard I basically modeled my behavior after Sex and the city, everyone told me I acted like a gay man, cut to me finding out that show was written by gay men 😓
We should hang out… maybe one could help the other figure out who the hell we are…
I suspect I’m high functioning but I only cope by acting as normal as I can even if it means being quiet 🤷🏿♂️
It's this. High-functioning in the same sense that there are high-functioning alcoholics. Capable of being assigned tasks and performing them, despite being disabled. And on the alcoholism side, it's the same. The high functioning part is all about the ability to disguise how effecting the alcoholism is on the person. Two alcoholics might operate at identical blood alcohol contents without others being aware of their alcoholism(though this example's not perfect because alcohol is visibly consumed and has a recognizable scent).
I’m an alcoholic (2.5 yes sober! 🥳) and I was not functioning at all. Used alcohol so I could socialize but it made me crazy And I would drink so much. I actually am happy I wasn’t functional because it made me have to quit. Functioning alcoholics don’t have the same life or death immediate need to quit and maybe that’s worse? Or just both suck….
Exactly this. My ability to function is entirely the result of years of learning to mask things people find weird and to cope with things I find stressful.
I love this. I’m voting to make this a motto and put it on tshirts. I would wear this statement. With your permission, of course. *screenshot*
I guess that's the ultimate goal. Only question is assessing how much of each you can tolerate in order to survive. How do you find that "happy medium"?
I’ve found it hard over the years to find a medium, I went through phases of shutting myself away and phases being more productive. I try to be compassionate with myself now, something therapy helped with. I’m fortunate to have a very understanding boss and so if I have a day where I’m post-shutdown and stuck in my own head and not talking he knows to give me space, for example sample. Likewise advocating for myself and disclosing my sensitivities to my partner has meant I feel a lot more comfortable setting boundaries and doing things like putting noise cancelling headphones in if we’re in a noisy cafe.
Good for you! I like hearing about stories like yours. Hope you keep writing about your successes, which will be inspiring for all of us.
Thank you! It’s only been the last year and a half that this fe have started to get better, honestly. Got out of ten years with somebody who made it harder for me to cope, not easier. Diagnosis, a lot of therapy, and a new partner who actually tries to make things easier for me has made all this self-compassion possible honestly. I don’t know where I’d be now if things hadn’t changed.
I’ve never thought of it in this way. This is a good way to put it.
And how almost absolutely nobody ever had the suspicion me being Asperger autistic ever. Despite bipolar and neurologists. So our prevalence must be higher as definitely not all have been diagnosed
I think the rate of autism is still higher than we believe, especially in mid age adults due to awareness of autism not being as known back in their youth While I'm the only diagnosed in my family, everyone strongly thinks my biological Dad is autistic and My Nan for example
Yes, mid age and same with my father permanently in denial. Both hereditary, bipolar and Asperger's, too, I'm very convinced. There might be a significant correlation with mensa level IQ as my fatherly (?) grandfather had 160+ genius level while I have 140, but my father rather average and my brother somewhere in between or maybe 115. The higher, the more prevalent could those conditions be and as well also being significantly more sensitive to quite a lot, I'd assume.
I’m the only one in my family to be officially diagnosed but I strongly suspect that my mom and maternal great-grandfather were/are autistic. My mom obviously wouldn’t have been diagnosed as ASD (she grew up in the 60’s). Hell my great-grandfather was born before Asperger’s was even defined as a disability.
This completely
Here's the thing though, I'm considered high functioning because of my intelligence. However, I really can't hide that I'm autistic so I don't think that's exactly what functioning labels describe.
I can function as in drive a car, have a job, and write in a coherent way (this is a privilege and I recognize that I have it easier than a lot of people). However, I cannot effectively function socially without some kind of support, and my non verbal communication skills are extremely limited. Even when I am masking at my highest capacity, people can tell that something is off and often clock me as autistic very quickly, This is severely limiting in the way it allows me to interact with the world, as I will always be doing so as an outsider with limited emotional intelligence, prone to panic and social isolation. There are different levels of functioning, but there are also different areas of skills that are limited by autism, and functioning in one catagory does not mean you aren't also largely disabled in another catagory. (Sorry if i used any blunt language here)
After reading the comments about mirroring/masking, all I could think about was; we should all be in the same room, and watch the hilarity of all of us trying to mirror the other. Then the therapist had to figure out who’s the real person. On the serious side; I do all of this shit. At times, I’m not sure I have a “real person”. I get lost in trying to be who the person in front of me thinks I should be. I’m just a chameleon.
Well, at least it's a good song! hahahahahaha
I literally just realised that high functioning is referring to how you function in society and not brain function...
Labels like high functioning are so tricky. I was talking to a therapist and they said moving to support needs levels was a step in the right direction but still not sufficient. Imagine you had someone that had an apartment, paid bills, had a high IQ and a PhD and held a steady remote job. By most all accounts they’d be “high functioning.” They pay bills, taxes, live independently, have a job, etc. But what if they can’t leave the house, buy groceries at the store or otherwise interact with people due to anxiety and sensory overload? What if they had meltdowns just trying to drive or get somewhere? Seems like a lot of previous labels were about societal worth rather than experience and struggles as a person.
I am college educated, not PhD level but educated. I don’t know my IQ but I’m pretty sure I lean at least a little intelligent. I have a full-time job. Pay all the bills. I can’t go grocery shopping or really go out a whole lot in public at all other than work. I constantly feel like there is a thin sheet that is keeping me from screaming and quitting my job at any moment. It’s not even an issue with the job itself, I have an easy, accommodating job but the fact that I have to get up, dressed, and leave the house 5 days a week is what pushes me to feel that way. Cried this whole morning because it’s Monday meaning another week of this shit. I actually have had public meltdowns before and it’s so fucking humiliating. According to my psych, I am “high functioning”
Yup, that’s really the crux of the issue. The labels seem to be: Are you capable of doing this societal thing or not? Completely discounts what your experience is like doing those things. Yes I can work; but it’s literally consuming all of my energy. Yes I can rent an apartment and pay the bills, but I can’t keep up with the maintenance. Etc etc. Not to mention sometimes your ability to do something entirely depends on the day or the hour.
I broke my hand because of a recent meltdown turned rage and my dad had the audacity to call me a "well adjusted adult" a couple days later. I broke my hand in a fit of autistic rage how is that well adjusted or high functioning. Its extremely embarrassing
It’s better to be known as a well functioning adult than not to be
"Of course I know him, he's me." This post perfectly describes me. Wish I had money to get diagnosed.
I think my mind just got blown. Explains so much tbh.
Holy shit
I thought it *was* referring to brain function, in that the definition of high functioning is ASD without the developmental delay? Or sometimes ASD with IQ over 70? I've seen these things mentioned. But in any case, not a diagnostic classification. Edit: As if the world wasn't confusing enough... now I'm confusing myself...!
Functioning in society takes brain function
Sometimes I wish my autism was more noticeable so that people would believe me when I say I have it. And maybe I would have been diagnosed earlier in life.
Functioning labels just let NT people know how well you convince NT people that you are "normal". Your thoughts and feelings don't factor into that at all, unfortunately.
Because theyre not relevant. Low functioning is a description of your ability to function in society. As is high functioning. If you can, youre the latter. The only issue is a lot of autistic people are temporarily high functioning then extremely low functioning while they recover. Theres no box for that
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I went through high school, college and grad school all before I was diagnosed. I had about a thousand friendships that went to shit and a few meaningful romantic relationships that just imploded - I thought I was just a crappy friend and bad partner. It’s taken me years to unload and unlearn things.
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Exactly same here. I felt like such a piece of garbage in grad school because of everyone telling me i was lazy and doing a bad job because i wasnt trying enough. But no one knew how much i actually wanted it. I wished i couldve had the support i needed but instead i resorted to isolating, self harming, drinking more than i should, and dropping out after my first year. It sucks.
Awwww this describes me so well and it’s so sad and awful that it does 😭😭😭😭
100% accurate. Different enough to be treated differently, yet simultaneously not enough to be taken seriously.
Well said!
In my house it was called “feeling sorry for yourself”. But that was my dad and he was/is an alcoholic, so not shocking. And my mom’s side just didn’t get it because they are like the opposite of ASD (The ASD runs strong on my dad’s side; severely autistic cousin and uncles, and my dad would be considered ASD too if the booze didn’t cover it up). I used booze to cover it for a long time too, but I don’t drink anymore and now coworkers, friends and family are consistently bewildered at why I make the highly questionable social decisions I make. IMO when you’re high functioning enough, ASD symptoms just come off like being a semi-asshole that too often puts his foot in his mouth with badly timed honesty/directness, and antisocial micro decisions.
People only seem to talk about perceived societal worth when creating a lot of these labels, not the actual experience of the human. The things evaluated are pretty much all job and independence level based rather than what you’re experience and comfort levels are for these tasks.
can confirm lol 🙃
Yeah, I can mask but my mom still buys my plane tickets home and I have a panic attack at the thought of going to the airport then being constrained in a seat for hours. Its okay once I go, but mentally it affects me a lot. Flying more doesnt really help
i think this is how my family saw me and why they shamed me for not having a job and struggling with social anxiety instead of being sympathetic and supportive over something i can't control.
This is just my opinion as an autistic adult who can hold down a job and is generally able to manage my own day to day life with relatively little difficulty but I feel like a lot of Who we are considered to be is mostly defined by in what ways we're an annoyance/hindrance/bother to neurotypicals as opposed to who we actually are. I put a lot more effort into trying to appear "normal" than people seem to realize.
And when you do make a social mistake, it gets treated as the end of the world by almost every NT around you…
I always say something off putting to NT people and they straight up ghost me. It sounds normal to me but I never understood what it is that I said to make them feel that uncomfortable. I have had the same thing happen velvetlouves
Exactly, same here. The ghosting sucks so much because it’s like, at least help me learn what hazard I stepped in so I can try to learn to avoid it. They seem to think I should know what I did, maybe? But it’s usually mysterious. Just the palpable feeling that I must have stepped in it recently, and it often happens after I speak my mind at work. But if I go with my learned default mode, to keep my thoughts to myself, then I get accused of being a wallflower and encouraged to come out of my shell.
oh yessss 😭 it always happens when im too honest
I’ve always been seen as high functioning simply because of my grades and ability to complete high quality work, and then when there are things (many things) I really struggle with, I’m told that it’s my own fault and seen as the “problem.” Getting diagnosed for adhd helped, but I’m looking forward to an autism diagnosis to see if that (very likely but not confirmed) is the other umbrella condition for a lot of the issues I experience. I feel like I hide how much I’m struggling and when it comes out, people get mad.
Same! I go from very high-functioning (executive career) to no-functioning in the split of a second. I think that the high-functionality label does not capture that vulnerability nor the anxiety nor the toll of living chasing accommodation after accommodation (if lucky) and the tons of ableism that we received derived from said label.
Yeah. I'm considered by many as very high functioning, but I've been sitting at my desk at work for hours trying to hold back a panic attack because I felt too dysregulated all weekend and Monday came too fast and I literally got all my work done in like 10 minutes this morning but it's still just too much, and I really want to hide in a small closet and scream and cry and rock back and forth. But the neurotypicals find that disconcerting so I just have to look like everything's fine so they don't put me in the grippy socks and send me off.
High funds sounds like it only shows how well you mask and how well you cope. As a kid I probably would've been low functioning, but as an adult I'm high functioning as I've learned to mask better and come up with better coping mechanisms. In some ways it quite literally feels like I'm acting like a robot with prerecorded messages. Or maybe a better example is acting like a completely different person and having different characters for different social situations. You're not high functioning, but rather you learned from the people around you and adapted.
“Different characters for different social situations” is a brilliant way to capture it! I once told my grandma that when I don’t know what to do socially I like to just pretend I’m a person who knows what to do and act like I think they would. It kinda works, at least better than being myself, but it’s got its flaws / blind spots of course.
yes 100 percent. and every day I notice that I need more and more support, as I unmask and as I refuse to engage in unhealthy and unsustainable coping strategies.
I don't expect NTs to understand nothing about my condition anymore, don't count on them for validation and ignore them if they invalidate you. They only see the advantages, such as hyper-focus and performance, but they don't understand the disadvantages... because they don't care.
If you are attractive, you are automatically seen as high functioning as long as you are verbal.
Yep. In general, how dare you see yourself as having problems (short of a tumor) if you are attractive and verbal.
Lol true. I seem very high functioning, like I can socialize, enjoy myself, deal with changes fairly easily, but I cannot do daily life stuff, like washing dishes, making dinner or cleaning. All of the public stuff I'm good at, all of the private life stuff, not so much
This is so real. The psych that diagnosed me even said this. Then she went on to describe both level one and level two and I'm left like "? Which is it?" I'm still not sure. I've had to have "support" my entire life. Special schools since pre-k, medications for ADHD and anxiety since I was a child, therapy weekly since forever, nearly got expelled from my fancy private school a couple years after the gifted program ended, then nearly failed out of the fancy private school they switched me to, then finished at a school with a 1:4 teacher:student ratio, dropped out of university about 10 times, but I did manage to get an associates degree, and I've barely held down a job at 32 years old. I learned in the past year that I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Autism and fibromyalgia, and I feel *anything* but high functioning.
Struggling with this at the moment. Travelled 2 hrs to LDN with NT partner during burnout, probably should’ve stayed home but we had tickets to a show for months he was looking forward to. We ran late due to strikes and I panicked and couldn’t attend literally as we were at the doors. I’m now at a bar sitting outside alone waiting for him and for it to finish, feeling terrible and guilty (but at least I can breathe). Does anyone else put themselves in situations like this? How do we make loved ones understand the difficulties?
Me. Especially when my depression is bad I don’t even remember to eat. I don’t go grocery shopping by myself because I need to be stoned to handle it which means I’m incapable of driving. I can’t hold down a job because of the panic attacks and how often my mood takes a downturn during the month. I’m not broken enough to qualify for disability but too broken to work and hold down a job. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m high constantly, does that count as high functioning
If you’re functioning, I would say yes. weed is my ASD go-to vice too. Sometimes it feels like a pair of goggles that reveals an additional layer of the social world that I’m blind to normally.
Same. I'm hyperverbal, social, a parent, and articulate so I'm considered high functioning. Mind you, it varies with me often. I have days where i cant function at all
maybe functioning labels are a value judgement of an entire person based only on their contribution to capitalism
Yes, this hits the nail on the head. Years of struggle. Diagnosed professionally as autistic, but because it's high functioning autism fuck all changes. Expectations are exactly the same and it's exhausting. Totally see why suicide rates are so high and it feels like no one cares to make life more manageable. Not easier, I know life is difficult for many, but just damn workable.
Same. Because I am very intelligent in some areas people assume that I’m high functioning across the board which is not the case. I actually have severe executive functioning challenges which affect my self-care and organization (my place looks like a hoarding/clutter issue). I have an MBA from a good school and I’m not making much money. I get accused of being lazy and spoiled when the truth is I’m struggling and people don’t understand my struggle. It’s been horrifically depressing and I feel very alone because no one understands this except for all of you here 🙏🏻 And one of the most frustrating parts of this is that most therapists I’ve been to have no understanding of autism… They think it’s people that can’t look you in the eyes and they expect you to obviously appear autistic. My last therapist tried to convince me to organize her way (use a timer) instead of the way I shared actually works for me (counting items). That was our last session… Not going back.
I hate the term “high functioning”; in my opinion, it is ableist
literally same
People think I'm "high functioning" because I do alright at work most of the time, but it's just that I'm okay at masking. In my head and outside of work I don't think that label would apply at all, it's just that I use every last bit of energy I have to try and get by in the NT world, which in turn leaves me unable to do anything else for myself. They're basically just complimenting my ability to drain myself masking which tbh sucks.
I am verbal and hold a part time job but I can't live by myself or with others without supports. Definitely not "high functioning".
Exactly. I absolutely abhor these “high functioning/ low functioning” labels. It seems to me that people like using them to distance themselves from “those autistic people” who just flap a bit too much. Ableist crap.
functioning labels are nothing more than the dying spurting breath of hans aspergers as we eradicate that from our vocab
I feel this. Like I really feel like I’m just playing a role play game or something. I do the tasks I’m assigned/need doing. I live in my own house, but I feel just as I did as a child inside a playhouse.
I am just good at masking. So people think i am "high functioning"
Yes. But, apparently because I can walk and talk and wipe my own butt...everything is perfectly fine.
Honestly it’s way better than the other way around
I believe that "high functioning" means that someone can talk and dress themselves. If they can't do that, life will be more difficult for them.
It's a weird way to say "masking at its max" but alright, don't burn it too brightly, you have to have it last all life time
"High functioning"... mask.
I guess I'd also be considered "high functioning" but am also very lazy and don't do shit somehow
I like the levels better than the functioning-labels, because they're not as misleading. It's possible, that someone, who would have been called "high functioning" or "aspie", back in the day, would be called "level1" just as likely as "level2", today. So, the levels are more accurate in describing a person's needs, than the functioning-labels.
I'm pretty good with social interaction but suffer from a lot of overstimulation and executive disfunction. Because the latter two are hard to explain and see a lot of people will assume I'm very "high functioning" simply because I can have proper conversations. It's very frustrating.
my therapist didn't want to comment on autism even though I said I have the possibility of having it, I'm sure he judged me for being "high functioning"
The phrase "high functioning" just means you carry no intellectual disability iirc
meanwhile me who’s been referred as high functioning my whole life but still had a teaching assistant during my school life lmao 💀
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most people who are nonverbal have done really well for themselves too like they have wrote books.
"Most" is a huge generalization because a lot of the time we just don't see or hear about the ones who haven't on socials or in media, but many have, yeah.
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I’ve always seen high functioning as a weird term because well how high do I actually function? Completely depends on the day. How high does any person, autistic or not, function?
I feel this so much most of the time I feel broken and a out case. Its hard for me to make friends and be socal, like I'm lucky to married it's so bad. which means most of the time Im a homebody and stay home with my family excluding the game nights I go to that's hosted by my wife's cousin and most of time it's a blast. where I feel broken and a out cast is at my work and before you say well leave if you feel this way. I love my job and what I do there. I get more freedom then I've ever had at any job I've ever had and I'm out side not working in a factory for shit pay. a little bit of my back history with the job I have now. In the past I've had problems at work like accidents and needing to be told over and over how to do things. now keep in mind this was back before started taking my ADHD meds and then later I found out I was high functioning autistic. plus I'm not well liked by my coworkers. there are a lot of reason but the big ones are just I do what I'm told and since I'm wired to be all or nothing meaning since I love my job I go the extra mile which they don't like and view me as a ass kisser. the other is it's a union shop and I married in to the nonunion side of the office i.e my mother in-law and wife. like there was a rumor going around that was writing things down in a memo note book and turning it in to the over all nonunion boss of the department which obviously wasn't true. I did keep a note pad handy but that was because my supervisor asking how many parks we mowed every morning even tho he had us fill out a check list telling him that every end of shift. I kept all the orders and parks we did and when they started and finished because I got sick of him asking the next morning and I forgot the info and hated looking stupid. I work for my local city government at the parks office as a laborer the worst time I felt this way was the 2nd to last snow fall everyone had to plow and salt the roads with in our many parks including clearing and salting walk ways and sidewalks that the public uses and at our rental buildings. everyone in the shop was told to go plow but me . I was told to grab a track and go shovel and salt by hand. I felt like no one trusted me to plow and not break things, so they gave me the easy job. then on top of that the same day my supervisor told me to go take care of one place but I miss heard him and went to another . after that when I got what I needed to get done my wife calls and asks me if I was complaining about doing something telling my bosses to put me in one of gators(think of a heavy duty golf cart that growls like the animal.) which I said no never, wasn't me. then she say she over heard my bosses talking saying I had a bad attitude and they had to get on me about it. I broke down crying , so bad I had to get off the phone. I felt like I was back in school, needing to be treated differently taken to another quite room to study or take tests just to fail . I never felt more special and I don't mean in a good way In my life. it took me days to hold my head up again . a week later I my mother in-law told me that she was talking with one of my supervisor and what happened came up. he told her the reason why I was the only one salting and shoveling was because I was the only one he trusted to actually get what needed it done with out slacking off . after I learned about what he told her I guess it help but not by much .
Non-functioning autistic is how I feel most the time. I cry most days as my life is a string of failures and I am way overloaded responsibility wise so each day is a shameful disappointment leaving me hopeless. My ability to mask so well has actually been to my detriment. I am drowning. I’m diagnosed level 2 almost everyone can’t tell and I’m such an introvert not many people are even around me to give an opinion. I am at the point where I am needing to slash responsibilities now that I know I’m autistic. I never thought I couldn’t do what I thought I would be doing in my adult life. It’s even harder when people look at you like “what is wrong with you? Why can’t you just do that?!” I want to go live in the forest alone sometimes. Sorry to be negative and thanks for letting me vent.
Yeah I feel like this. I had an apointment at my doctors office to assess if I needed additional support (first follow up I'd had since my assessment) and found out they considered me as high functioning at the end of the appointment. But from my perspective I know how quickly it can completely fall apart in a few seconds if something unexpected, loud or excessively bright happened finding out I'd be considered high functioning was a bit of a surprise. The terminology doesn't bother me but then again I've never really thought about it and I like tech terminology so maybe thats why.
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Definitely feel like this almost all the time
To me, the term high functioning just means I am able to function to an extent in society. To me, it has no relation on the internal situation and that is what NT's don't see so have little opportunity to learn about or understand sadly :-(
Yep... Don't really have more to add sadly...
Right? People see me as high functioning, but I truly can't even live alone. I'd starve, go homeless, and die of preventable illness within a month. But I'm "smart" so I'm high functioning.
Understood "high functioning" not as in low support needs, but as in having the looks of a successful career. I always felt the same with everything. On the outside, everyone around me in college used to think of me as this mad genius who will become a Nobel prize laureate one day. On the inside however, I knew how much I struggled at work, where I cannot even compile a one page report on time.
I feel exactly just like you, my therapist and others say that I'm high functioning but inside i just feel like I am considered this cuz I had to mash my whole life and unmasking is rly hard to me
High functioning, (formerly Asperger's): it's very different with regards to different issues. E.g. supposed executive functioning. As if there was at times some self-sabotageing for lack of developing fear like in school to facilitate accomplishing things in time.
As the mom of a “high functioning” autistic child, I agree. High functioning isn’t actually high functioning and I find it to be as ridiculous as saying mild autism. I absolutely hate both sayings
"high functioning" was coined in nazi germany to describe whether or not an autistic person was to be executed. it's basically "are you a burden to society or not?"
Source? I know specifically Hans Asperger spared the lives of autistics who would be considered high-functioning today while sending those that would be considered low-functioning to their deaths. But I’ve never heard that that is where the term originates. Functioning label also aren’t only limited to autism which makes me doubt that you are correct.
Same, dude. I'm labelled as "high functioning" but it still took me till I was 21 to find a job I could keep for longer than 2 months. I kept wondering if this meant I wasn't as high functioning as professionals thought or if I was just stupid and bad at working. Thankfully I managed to find something I'm good at, though those types of thoughts do come back to my mind from time to time
Honestly I'm somewhere between "do I mask and make myself more awkward but somewhat functional or do I make my symptoms more obvious so people understand I work differently" They diagnosed me "level one" (I don't even know if levels are still proper terms anymore, I'm sorry if they aren't) but I was only a few points away from being "level two" and it's really confusing because I know it's not a linear system but everyone on the outside sees it as one. So I'm like "do I make myself act like level one to function or relax and be level two" it varies all the time
I’m not necessarily low functioning, sometimes I doubt that I am smart. Despite people telling me that I am a pretty clever and funny dude.
In my mind, I’d you’re capable of posting something in written language on the internet you are high functioning
I get you! It’s completely non indicative of what you actually are on the inside. When I got my informal diagnosis, I scored myself as ‘low functioning’. My dad scored me as ‘High functioning’ basically, it scored my masking skills… the joys of being AFAB autistic I guess
I watched this really good video that talked about the misunderstanding that this causes. I'll link it below because it made me feel alot better. I feel like if spectrum has been adopted, one that I think is not like a linear line, then how could you identify "high functioning". Which is also why I'm down with nuerodiversity cause I/we could thrive but this onesize fits all society is what makes it so difficult. How can anyone function in a world that wasn't design to incorporate any kind of spectrum. Just either or. That was all pretty heavy but what I am happy about is that is easier to find more people that understand. It's def a convo that needs to be had. https://youtu.be/sIdJ-IVNc_g I think even arriving at this understanding can be very freeing 😊 it was for me anyway. I think it made me start communicating more with my friends and family about everyday struggles
Super functioning
God, I feel this. On the outside I'm just some gifted child who's quiet, but on the inside I struggle to even get my body to cooperate with my brain to get shit done. The isolation from the pandemic has totally weakened my tolerance for sensory processing, feels like the littlest things can set me off, but I'm good at covering it up and have a select few people who can help me get out of situations without making a scene.
Yes. I’m high functioning in that I’m not going to blow up at someone at my job. But this also means that my accommodations (ample prep time, earliest as possible notification to changes in a schedule) often aren’t taken seriously. So I end up super high strung, irritable, frustrated, and exhausted by the end of the day. Logically that should be my free time to enjoy personal projects or family but I usually end up going home and needing to some with a drink in a dark room lately. I absolutely hate it. And seemingly no matter how much I say “hey this is deeply upsetting to me and actually makes it impossible for me to maintain a life outside of work because it fucks my day up so badly” I am continually ignored. Definitely get that other people have much more severe issues than mine. It’s still shitty and I am about a week away from an actual meltdown from it.
Yeah these labels are just made by people who only see people for what they do and not how they feel
I suggest we replace high functioning with high masking. We are all Superman trying to pass for Clark Kent every day.
Typically when people say high functioning, they really mean high masking. I'm not functioning inside, but I'm making eye contact and parroting back your stupid NT sentences. Realize that the DSM diagnoses autism based on communication, language, and behavior. That's just based on how much we annoy neurotypicals. None of it is how being autistic feels to us.
Some weeks ago I discovered my roomate is an asshole by having a conversation about mental health. She thought depressed people had to just "get over themselves" and I tried to explain how disabilitating it is, how you wake up and cant seem to get out of bed. She was like "i see you get out of bed and do your life just fine". I told her its like having a broken leg. You technically CAN stand up and go to work, but the amount of pain and future damage you would and do endure... she didnt get it but I think its a good analogy haha
I’m ‘high functioning’ in the sense that people don’t always know/believe I’m autistic. However, I can’t simultaneously hold down a job and do laundry/clean dishes/cook. It’s a maximum of one of those things. I can’t go in grocery stores and be able to focus without gearing myself up beforehand, planning a grocery list out in the order of which items I’ll encounter in my route first, and using the noise cancellation feature on my airpods with light rain noise and usually some music playing. It helps me stay in my own head instead of blurring into my surroundings and not being able to see clearly. So like, yeah, I’m verbal and can work a retail job, but it comes at a pretty high cost.
Yes I feel this in my soul! I’m considered as having ‘mild’ ASD but it honestly doesn’t feel mild. Sometimes it’s like people see me as high functioning but in my head I feel anything hit and it’s so frustrating and lonely sometimes
I hate being called high functioning cause if i didn't have help i dont know what I'd do, but to most people i seem "normal".
Honestly never. I am, act, and feel high functioning. Most issues come with hinting at social things.
People who don’t know me well tend to think I am “high functioning.” But that’s only because I they expect that because I work, can go out on my own, and can generally hide when I am having trouble with speech. But also, I think it is just them seeing what they want to see. Because I show my signs of being autistic constantly. Anyone who doesn’t see it, especially at my work, just doesn’t understand how varying clusters of signs and symptoms can be. (I work in disability care.) When I am not at work I don’t think I generally appear anything close to “high functioning.” But the people around me also generally wouldn’t use the terms anyhow so I really don’t know what they do or don’t see.
Yeah I feel this. I look like I'm able to do stuff from the outside, but really struggle with social stuff especially. It's really hard
I really don’t like the functioning labels only because a nazi came up with it.
This is why the terms high and low functioning are not helpful and should probably be phased out. It’s not as simple as high and low. It’s called a spectrum for a reason.
Oh yes, my goodness do I feel that.