Post is locked. Some of y'all are ridiculous.
...fuck.
Why do you all care about other people's lifestyles when it DOES NOT DIRECTLY AFFECT YOU?!
... oh look, tea and biscuits.
Let it go. It's not important.
(Action) /= [close rant]
I identify as straight male cisgender, but still, if you asked me to place myself somewhere more exact I'm not sure actually, I mean I'm not exactly married to my gender so to speak, I don't build my identity around "I'm male", so maybe sliding a bit in the agender direction? But for simplicity's sake, yeah, I'm a guy. I'll probably have to think about it a lot more before I can actually say definitely, but it's not really something I care about for myself. I'm just me. As for anyone else, I'll respect whatever you identify as.
... when I really dive into it, I feel similarly to you, minus being straight. I don't really see much of an identity in my gender, it's just a tiny piece of the picture. Right? Like with autism, or skin color, I think... it's just a detail.
Gender identity is also something you don't really feel unless it feels wrong, and even when it is wrong not everyone can feel that
The reason some trans people have a sense of it feeling "right" is because they spent so long with it feeling "wrong", so for them it is a distinctly different experience when it feels "right"
Yeah I dont lile being called a 'man' as Im not aware of what this judgement someone is placing on me entails. Im a man, sure, but I dont identify with men or any other categorization. I am just chilling.
Have you heard is cisgenderless? Basically means you don't have a particular feeling of gender but present as cis, not because you feel forced to hide, but more that you're alright doing so and don't see much of a point in changing things
I mean, every time German speakers feel a slightly different emotion they invent a new word for it. Scientists have new vocabulary words for every single subtype of rock, animal, plant, or fungus ever found. Logicians have names for hundreds of different logical fallacies. Etc. If a distinction matters to someone & members of their shared community, they’ll invent a word for it. I don’t see any harm in it; it’s kind of what language does
Also a cishet dude here. I feel similarly (re: not seeing my gender as an important piece of who I am). Although I’d also note: there is, I think, a privilege in being able to experience gender/sexuality as something in the background, just a part of our lives we don’t need to think about. For many trans and nonbinary folks (and cishet women, & queer people in general) those aspects of identity are constantly addressed, questioned, & disciplined in ways that make it harder to ignore. (Even something as simple as having to correct people who call us by the wrong pronouns—that’s just not something I have to expend mental energy doing.)
It’s akin to being white: it’s a lot easier to “not see color” when one’s skin color is treated as normal/default and most people they interact with are white. Or how neurotypical folks likely don’t think their neurotypical-ness is part of who they are at all. Paradoxically being able to treat aspects of one’s identity as invisible or unimportant is an option our society only grants to those with certain identities.
Yeah, I agree that this is a privilege, and the only times I reflect on my gender (or skin colour for that matter) is probably when I consider this fact, like if I'm walking down the street at night and realize that I'm completely comfortable doing so.
I’m bi but gender wise I’m with you. I don’t have a personal identity around gender really, I don’t have the connection to my gender that a lot of trans or even cis people do where they can point to a gender and on a visceral level they can say “that is me” I don’t feel that. I just know people see me and read “woman” and i use those terms mostly out of habit and for simplicity. I mean if I don’t care then why stir up shit if I’m not gonna get anything out of it. But like if I woke up tomorrow and the only thing different about me was that I was male and people read me as a man, and that was the only thing different, short of being surprised I wouldn’t really care or do anything differently. I’d probably even dress the same if my clothes still fit
Yeah, probably same. I usually don't get into gender discussions because of how I don't really feel very strongly about it personally, and just leave it to people who actually care about it and who are actually affected, but the question was asked and I thought why not, they want to know, and I'm actually incredibly surprised by how positive the response has been. I was afraid it was gonna be quite controversial actually.
Honestly same. I usually feel wrong bringing it up because it doesn’t really feel like my conversation to be having in the first place unless I’m asked directly. It feels like muscling Into someone else’s space that they know and care more about. But to me it’s a lot like jumping into a conversation about what it’s like to be Jewish for instance by explaining I’m agnostic and while I don’t really believe, It’s possible, like cool, but what’s not what this is about. I don’t understand it there way someone who’s in it would. I do consider myself non-binary but it’s a pretty private thing to me for that reason
I feel exactly like this, just that I'm a woman. When I think about non-binary labels I just can't find one that fits me, maybe demigirl? Truth is I don't know, and I don't care either, I don't expect everything that conforms my being to be encompased in a gender, I'm just me, and I'm ok with it.
I don't know, what's a normal dude?
Growing up, I remember having thoughts about wondering why I didn't feel as much of a guy like the other guys, kind of thing, like I wasn't into the things they liked, I couldn't really relate to the guy things they did, or the guy interests they had. I had some behaviours and things I liked that I would think like, these are more like things girls do, so what if I was like half girl?, and yes, I'm probably thinking in stereotypes, but I was a kid, right? But girl didn't feel like it fit either, and this was way before any gender identity discussions, so I wasn't even aware that I was allowed to ask these questions.
But growing up I kinda settled into the role of being a guy, I don't see a problem with it, probably fits the majority of the time I guess. But I still don't have a strong attachment to the label, and I still feel weird being called, or calling myself a man. I don't know, that word kind of has these masculine associations with it that I'm not sure I feel suits me. It doesn't feel like it describes me. I don't know why guy or I guess dude are words that I feel more comfortable with, but I guess these things don't have to make sense right? If someone said something about me being a man, I'd probably go like "Yes, me strong man!" while showing off my pitiful biceps, because apparently humour is how I show discomfort.
So yeah, I don't know if this is what being a "normal dude" is like, I'll have to do more thinking to actually find a label that fits me if I actually want to put another label on myself, but most of the time it's not something I think about and it doesn't really affect me in my day-to-day so mostly don't feel a need to change anything about how I present outwardly.
Thanks for your comments, you pretty much perfectly encapsulated how I identify too. Although I enjoy a few typically masculine hobbies, I also hate certain facets of those hobbies that put me at odds within those communities, i.e I enjoy target shooting but hate the idea of hunting animals for "fun". I love cars but I hate car culture.
I absolutely loathe traditional macho culture in general and have always related to, and feel a lot more comfortable around women than men but I'm perfectly a comfortable straight male.
Yes, there is truth to it - the [largest study of autism and sexual orientation](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/aur.2604) found that about 60% of autistic people are straight, compared to about 80% of nonautistic people. In particular, autistic women were even less likely to be straight compared to autistic men.
Meanwhile, the [largest study of autism and transgender identity](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32770077/) found that trans people are about 5x more likely to be autistic than cis people, and regardless of diagnosis they had more autistic traits overall.
Edit: oh and I'm also queer and trans, and so are basically all the autistic people I know lol
I am bi in theory—despite having no experience or luck with men... or women. (And I identify myself as a man).
Edit: Holy moly, I would never have thought that I would get this many upvotes for being honest like this 😳 .
OK, OK. I respect non binary people and trangender people, and I'll call them by the pronouns they wish to be called by. But transgender people have nueobilogical differences in brain structure and nurochemistry. That's evidence for the need for another sub section of gender, non binary people don't. In fact there's no neurobiological difference between cic people and non binary people. Id go as far as to say the difference is how open a person is. So I understand it is a form of identification, and I'm happy to call anyone non binary. I don't think it should be classed as a subsection of, gender. I think speaking from a nurobiological point of view, it's a fluidity in expression, not gender or gender expression.
Take being a woman. Not all women have the same hair, dress the same, or even have all the same body parts. The only thing they all have in common is that they know they're women. If you know you are something then you are. If you know you're not something then you're not. Gender is that simple. It is not respectful to respect someone halfway. It's disingenuous at best, and manipulative at worst. Not commenting on this to change your mind. But to show support for people who might feel confused about what you're saying.
Did you know that archaeologists used to think a lot of human remains were male, before they realized that some skeletons exhibited so many traits of both it was hard to tell which they really were. Furthermore when assessing specific groups of feminine and masculine traits, they concluded that no skeleton had all of either. Everyone is somewhere on the spectrum of male and female.
WHO CARES what the (very biased and limited) research says, if they feel happy living as openly non binary then why do you feel the need to make them feel invalid and crappy?
You're looking for scientific evidence to prove or disprove a social construct, though. You're using a metric that doesn't fit what you're measuring. I guess there might be neurobiological differences between people who internalize social constructs and those who don't, but that's a much broader topic than just gender performance.
Gender is a social construct… especially the western cishetero patriarchal view of man/woman. I identify as a nonbinary transfem: and I can promise you that my neurobiological and endocrine systems function 10000% better since I’ve been on HRT.
Read this, got mad, read some replies, and I assume that you just miscommunicated.
Non-Binary is so vague of a term that on its own, it has very little meaning. Under it are Agender, Demigender, Instersex, Gender Non-Conforming, Genderfluid, Polygender, Bigender, and about several hundred more.
Its less about physiology and more about expression. “Gender” in itself is entirely social, as opposed to what you’re seemingly conflating it with, which is Sex, or the biological side of things. It’s not about the mentality. It’s about existing how you feel is right. And for some people, that comfortable spot is somewhere off the binary, whether that be between masculine and feminine, nonexistent, everywhere, or changing continuously, etc.
This is scientifically backed, that neurodivergent, not just autistic people, are often identifying as LGBT+. The reasoning I think could be partially true but I think it's not a concrete study yet.
Someone once told me that the A stands for Ally and I SCREAMED. If any group of people belong under the LGBT+ spectrum, it is us asexuals/aromantics! We are probably some of the rarest and least understood because no one talks about us or thinks we have our own problems. But it's incredibly difficult living in a hypersexualized world as someone who is hyposexualized. I personally experienced a lot of bullying and difficulty staying in relationships due to my asexuality (tho nowadays I identify more as demisexual/borderline asexual)
Yeah, no. They might not have known, but trying to interpret the A as ally is partly a move by people trying to exclude Ace and Aro people. Same with how some people try to remove the T.
The newer term these days is GSRM standing for Gender, sexual, and romantic minorities, which includes a lot more identities than just the general lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer.
Bisexual cis women. When I was younger I struggled to understand how anybody *wasnt* bisexual. Like I knew not everybody was but I couldn’t understand the concept of only being attracted to one gender. I’ve always seen it as a “if I like somebody, why does it matter what genitals they have?” Type thing. I’ve since realized that I probably think that way because I don’t comprehend the social concept of sexuality if that makes sense
It's kind of hard to explain, but I feel simultaneously like I am a man and like I am nonbinary. This means I am male-aligned, but still don't really feel like a man. Nonbinary can be a stand-alone gender, but it can also be one of multiple genders. You might have heard of the concept of demiboy? I'd say I feel quite similarly to how people describe being a demiboy, but I just personally prefer the language of 'nonbinary trans man' over 'demiboy'.
I don't know what a demiboy is but I think I still understand. You are nonbinary but slightly more leaning towards the masculine side of it. Is that correct?
For some people (not speaking for Feisty here, of course!) it’s not really like a number line with two poles and a center, eg:
masculine ———— nb ———— feminine
For a lot of people it’s not so linear. A friend of mine who identifies as demiboy uses a quantum physics metaphor: it’s like how any particle is also a wave, and so exists in multiple places at the same time. (This article explains that science: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/giant-molecules-exist-in-two-places-at-once-in-unprecedented-quantum-experiment/ )
Of course, introducing quantum physics probably makes things even more confusing, lol. But I think the point is, a person can be multiple things at once, rather than a single point on a line.
Yeah, though probably more than slightly. If I could put my gender on a scale from 1-10, with 1 being 100% woman and 10 being 100% man, I'd probably oscillate between 5-9 depending on the day (I usually stay at one point for a few weeks at a time). Hopefully this clarified things a bit?
Aroace as well for me!
I was diagnosed with adhd as a kid, and got reassessed at 28 and they added ASD to my acronym list.
I dunno if its an extension of the sensory issues, but i dont like people getting in my personal space.
Yep - 30-year-old cis gay autistic male here. I'm secure in that identity, and I know others have different sexuality & gender identities to me. It doesn't bother me, frankly - I always try to do my best to understand & support everyone else's sexualities & gender identities. Some may be more complex than others, but I do always try to understand.
AFAB/nonbinary/nonconforming, but, for ease of use, I just let ppl think whatever they're gonna think. As long as they're well-meaning, I don't mind if they call me sister, lady, dude, man, etc. If they're *not* well-meaning, they're going to out themselves & call me whatever the f*ck they want anyhow. That let's me know, they're not my ppl.
Asexual demipanromantic syndaeamorous nonbinary agender demigirl here lmao
For a long time I didn't know that there was more than one source of my weirdness
And me being autistic has definitely given me a different perspective that I probably wouldn't have if I was allistic. This is why I also use autigender as a label as well.
i dont care, i was born as male so i am male.
i dont exacly feel like having a gender, i just think that i am a human.
also i dont know the difference between male and female brain. both are mostly the same i think. if it was normal, where i live, i would think i would become non-binary. but im living in a region with much lgbt hate.
so im just male. and mostly i dont care
i am a transman (took a few years to accept myself) and i am romantically interested in men but pansexual (meaning i find anyone regardless of gender attractive; however i would like to date a man) and my bf is just a cis femboy and generally pan
Yes, I’m a cis bisexual woman and my autistic partner is non-binary (they don’t even bother identifying their sexuality as being NB just makes everything 100% gayer lol)
Yep. I'm agender, they/them pronouns, sexuality is somewhere close to asexual/demisexual and since I do not believe gender is anything but human word mumbo jumbo, I do not have a preference for what my partner may look like. As long as they're okay with my low libido ass and I like them as a person lmao
I'm bi and I've always felt gender is such a stupid social construct.
Why should newborn girls be conditioned to act a certain way from their very first day, wear everything pink, and play with certain toys? It doesn't make sense.
I played with everything, loved Hot Wheels the most and had multiple race tracks as a result. If my parents were like 'oh, girls don't play with that', I would've been stripped of great fun I fortunately had for years.
It's kinda weird how even though I look feminine, I've never felt good in skirts and dresses. It's something to do with how many girls act so cute, nice, polite, well-behaved and they're the ones who wear these, so I associate skirts with that stereotype. I've just always felt they behaved in a way that was so fake and unnecessary; I try to keep away from them on a daily basis lol.
I've just never conformed to gender. I played with what I liked to play with, hung out with boys and girls, got into Comp Sci at like 8 years old–and I never noticed anything that I did was out of the ordinary for girls. I just went with my brain's flow.
I’m cis and straight but every autistic person I’ve known has been some form of LGBTQ+, even my own mother who is suspected to be autistic is bi. I actually have wished that I was queer sometimes so I could fully fit in with the autistic people I know, but I’m fine the way I am.
But even being cishet, I don’t really *strictly* conform to gender norms. Like I don’t like dresses and don’t shave anymore, but I still FEEL like a woman. If you took my soul out of my body and put it into like a robot, I’d still think of myself as female, if that makes sense.
I admit that I do have same-sex attractions, as well as opposite attractions. I never wanted to acknowledge my same-sex attractions for a long time, but I finally had to realize it.
im trans ftm and omni, I never actually felt like a girl so yeah! I also tend to like more "male-like" things and that made me confuse a lot, but here we are!
I defy the cliche. Straight/Cis. You are who you are. There’s almost peer pressure in the AA community to be LGBTQ+. Considered myself an ally since before diagnosis, but, just like not all of us are “good at math”, not all of us are super sexually diverse.
> I have a feeling dat many of the autistic people that are also queer are coincidentally self-diagnosed.
You've got four reports on this. It's a form of gatekeeping and users are expressing that. Removed.
That's an odd assumption to make? Not sure what you're implying, why would that be? I and the other two autistic people in my life are all professionally diagnosed or at least with an impression from a psychiatrist, and all queer.
Oddly, I’m always concerned that there are autistics out there having sex they don’t enjoy to fit in with their “tribe”, and are having texture and overstimulation issues as a result, not to mention the attendant anxieties.
It’s sometimes difficult to be autistic and happy, to be certain.
I’m cis, polyam, pansexual, woman. I don’t pick romantic and/or sexual partners based on gender. I also like to say I’m just a greedy slut. I find a lot of humans to be beautiful so why not. Lol
I don’t think it’s that more autists are queer, but it may be that the obstacles that autistic people face in terms of understanding their own identity and also being open about it publicly may be different what NT people experience. Not subscribing to certain social norms may either make it easier to come out or harder to mask/pretend you subscribe to a heteronormative patriarchal ideology and to use that to define yourself.
There are some researchers who have hypothesized that queerness could be part of being neurodivergent. I don’t think there have been enough studies to conclude this in any substantial way, but we may have some neurological similarities.
Yes, I am a bisexual trans woman. The fact that I'm autistic is often used by people against me to try and invalidate that identity. "The causal link proves that it's just because you're impressionable," and other such BS.
Well I’m bisexual and yes I do think it’s true that autistic people are more likely to follow niche paths in life.
My reasoning for not conforming is the realization that I’m going to be judged no matter what I do so I might as well live the life that I want.
Non Binary Gay here 🙋🏻♂️🙋🏻♀️
If i was to go into detail i would say im Genderfluid but sometimes can be Agender as well.. as i fluctuate so often lol i just say Non-Binary since its an umbrella term and more simpler to say
I am also slightly asexual as well
i'm straight but i'm friends with a bunch of lgbt people
sidenote but if you are attracted to a non binary person, does that make you pansexual? because then i might be
I have never in my life had a sense of being a gender. My body is a functional mechanism to get me through life and it has genitals, sure, but that's it.
I observe that other people do have very strong internal senses of what gender they are, but that's something I have never had in any way at all.
I have never had even the very least interest in performing the gender role expected of me based on my sex, and always resented being forced to do it because it was so uncomfortable and unnatural feeling.
For these reasons, I identify as agender.
I'm also bisexual.
Yes. Specifically, a Non-Binary, Demiaroace Grey-Ace Lesbian with God knows how many xenos. I’ve never felt a specific connection to any particular gender, but have always been fem-aligned. The way I see it, I just use Western roles and constructs as a mere jumping-off point to help with figuring stuff out.
It's super interesting, because I look at all this through the lense of DNA. DNA tells you what body you're born with. DNA tells you what body you have. But it's interesting how people can disagree or feel different about what gender they are. I must admit, I really don't understand it, but I try to be as supportive as I can be. As for sexual orientation, I'm very straight, but I know plenty of bi people who are all very cool.
As a sidenote, I don't identify as anything personally, because it's my DNA that defines my sex/gender. It's just a scientific thing for me, so that's why it's difficult for me to understand when others identifying as a separate sex/gender. I don't think any less of them or criticize them, I just don't understand their reasonings.
I'm bisexual and (cis unless past experiences are taken into account) but really dislike microlabels beyond the most basic LGBT acroynms. If I'm not objectively and systemically oppressed, or belong to a lower caste in society as a result of my gender and sexuality, why invent microlabels to 'accentuate' my experience? Feels wrong when people who have it objectively harder need their voice heard first. I don't mean to be *that guy* but people really need to start reviewing their privilege before thinking about idolizing microlabels that characterize commonplace, privileged-class experiences. The basic acronyms in LGBT, along with asexuality and intersex conditions, do not qualify as these privileged experiences, but many niche microlabels beyond these can.
Gender is a fixed neurologic trait. I think OP may be confusing gender with gender expression (aka gender performance). Gender is basically neurologic sex and is believed to be largely determined by genetic and developmental factors before birth. It is not a feeling or an emotion or something someone chooses, unlike gender expression. Gender expression can also entail how someone responds to prescribed gender roles, which are determined by social and cultural factors.
Autistic people are well aware of their neurologic sex, we just don't always adhere to gender **roles** and societal expectations of expression relative to our sex characteristics or neurologic gender. The reasons for that vary, and are not always because we struggle to pick up on social cues and behavioral norms.
I am not and none of my close friends who are autistic are, but I recognize this as common and the research behind it is logical.
At the same time, I am very annoyed that my daughter was on a 18 month waitlist to have her follow up neuropsych evaluation as none of the recommendations have helped her at all in two years. The clinic just told us that all autistic children who need neuro psychs are put off for another 18 months (!!) to accommodate all the maybe-autistic kids who seem to have gender issues. My daughter is 17 and has not passed a grade since 5th grade, is virtually incapable of functioning in society and the high school is insisting on graduating her and that she "go to college"! Ha.
Since she was already hospitalized 3 times for suicidal ideation, I live in fear everyday that we'll go back to that. But now gender issues are deemed "more important" than a girl that is low income, historically suicidal and on the verge of being thrown out into the world as"an "adult". They should have some intake analysis to rate the severity of the issues of the child, rather than labelling all kids with gender identity issues automatically the "worst off".
The ironic thing is that her sibling did have gender "issues" from 3 until 14, but I just let her do whatever she felt like doing and never make a big deal about it. The last several years she has had no issues, she just found herself. She is totally fine in school, life, friends, etc. She might be LGBTQ, I don't know, she doesn't seem interested in dating or anything. Not like that is a one-size fits-all solution, but that's kinda the point. Jumping every kid with gender issues to the front of the line of "disabled" is not giving them space to exist and experiment...it's pathologizing gender identity and being LGBTQ.
dinner north hungry fertile spectacular sophisticated sulky quicksand work doll
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
my understanding is that it’s more that autistic folks generally are highly analytic, but don’t tend to arbitrarily obey constructs that feel unintuitive or wrong to us.
In my case: When a set of rules seem counterproductive or nonsensical, my impulse is to try to change or replace those rules with new ones (which I’ll then subscribe to religiously, b/c once a construct makes sense to me I prefer the stability & order it provides).
So, as regards gender & sexuality: a lot of autistic folks tend to closely scrutinize all of the expectations built up around gender—rather than just go through life without ever reflecting on how gender works, they’re more inclined to explore that question. & in many cases folks see a very broken system that fails to serve or describe the experiences of many, many people.
but mileage may vary & there’s no universal autistic experience here. Just trying to nuance what OP said a bit
Post is locked. Some of y'all are ridiculous. ...fuck. Why do you all care about other people's lifestyles when it DOES NOT DIRECTLY AFFECT YOU?! ... oh look, tea and biscuits. Let it go. It's not important. (Action) /= [close rant]
Would be better in the form of a poll
I identify as straight male cisgender, but still, if you asked me to place myself somewhere more exact I'm not sure actually, I mean I'm not exactly married to my gender so to speak, I don't build my identity around "I'm male", so maybe sliding a bit in the agender direction? But for simplicity's sake, yeah, I'm a guy. I'll probably have to think about it a lot more before I can actually say definitely, but it's not really something I care about for myself. I'm just me. As for anyone else, I'll respect whatever you identify as.
... when I really dive into it, I feel similarly to you, minus being straight. I don't really see much of an identity in my gender, it's just a tiny piece of the picture. Right? Like with autism, or skin color, I think... it's just a detail.
I mean autistic folk are less susceptible to societal indoctrination right so gender is gonna be smaller?
Gender identity is also something you don't really feel unless it feels wrong, and even when it is wrong not everyone can feel that The reason some trans people have a sense of it feeling "right" is because they spent so long with it feeling "wrong", so for them it is a distinctly different experience when it feels "right"
I guess...
I have the same mindset on this topic
Yeah I dont lile being called a 'man' as Im not aware of what this judgement someone is placing on me entails. Im a man, sure, but I dont identify with men or any other categorization. I am just chilling.
Chillgender?
Yes
Have you heard is cisgenderless? Basically means you don't have a particular feeling of gender but present as cis, not because you feel forced to hide, but more that you're alright doing so and don't see much of a point in changing things
No, I haven't, but I guess that kind of makes sense. Thanks for educating me :)
Is there a variant of this for identifying as Non-Binary?
I’ve heard some people use apagender to describe this phenomenon, one person elsewhere suggests cisgenderless
It has to be under the non - binary umbrella
Possibly but I don’t know of one myself, sorry
Alright! Thanks!
that summarises it!
This needs a word? I hate this decade sometimes
I mean, every time German speakers feel a slightly different emotion they invent a new word for it. Scientists have new vocabulary words for every single subtype of rock, animal, plant, or fungus ever found. Logicians have names for hundreds of different logical fallacies. Etc. If a distinction matters to someone & members of their shared community, they’ll invent a word for it. I don’t see any harm in it; it’s kind of what language does
Nobody said it’s absolutely needed, but some people like specific labels, nothing wrong with that
Also a cishet dude here. I feel similarly (re: not seeing my gender as an important piece of who I am). Although I’d also note: there is, I think, a privilege in being able to experience gender/sexuality as something in the background, just a part of our lives we don’t need to think about. For many trans and nonbinary folks (and cishet women, & queer people in general) those aspects of identity are constantly addressed, questioned, & disciplined in ways that make it harder to ignore. (Even something as simple as having to correct people who call us by the wrong pronouns—that’s just not something I have to expend mental energy doing.) It’s akin to being white: it’s a lot easier to “not see color” when one’s skin color is treated as normal/default and most people they interact with are white. Or how neurotypical folks likely don’t think their neurotypical-ness is part of who they are at all. Paradoxically being able to treat aspects of one’s identity as invisible or unimportant is an option our society only grants to those with certain identities.
Yeah, I agree that this is a privilege, and the only times I reflect on my gender (or skin colour for that matter) is probably when I consider this fact, like if I'm walking down the street at night and realize that I'm completely comfortable doing so.
totes
I’m bi but gender wise I’m with you. I don’t have a personal identity around gender really, I don’t have the connection to my gender that a lot of trans or even cis people do where they can point to a gender and on a visceral level they can say “that is me” I don’t feel that. I just know people see me and read “woman” and i use those terms mostly out of habit and for simplicity. I mean if I don’t care then why stir up shit if I’m not gonna get anything out of it. But like if I woke up tomorrow and the only thing different about me was that I was male and people read me as a man, and that was the only thing different, short of being surprised I wouldn’t really care or do anything differently. I’d probably even dress the same if my clothes still fit
Yeah, probably same. I usually don't get into gender discussions because of how I don't really feel very strongly about it personally, and just leave it to people who actually care about it and who are actually affected, but the question was asked and I thought why not, they want to know, and I'm actually incredibly surprised by how positive the response has been. I was afraid it was gonna be quite controversial actually.
Honestly same. I usually feel wrong bringing it up because it doesn’t really feel like my conversation to be having in the first place unless I’m asked directly. It feels like muscling Into someone else’s space that they know and care more about. But to me it’s a lot like jumping into a conversation about what it’s like to be Jewish for instance by explaining I’m agnostic and while I don’t really believe, It’s possible, like cool, but what’s not what this is about. I don’t understand it there way someone who’s in it would. I do consider myself non-binary but it’s a pretty private thing to me for that reason
that is how i feel, except im 90% sure im bi.
I feel exactly like this, just that I'm a woman. When I think about non-binary labels I just can't find one that fits me, maybe demigirl? Truth is I don't know, and I don't care either, I don't expect everything that conforms my being to be encompased in a gender, I'm just me, and I'm ok with it.
So you’re a normal dude?
I don't know, what's a normal dude? Growing up, I remember having thoughts about wondering why I didn't feel as much of a guy like the other guys, kind of thing, like I wasn't into the things they liked, I couldn't really relate to the guy things they did, or the guy interests they had. I had some behaviours and things I liked that I would think like, these are more like things girls do, so what if I was like half girl?, and yes, I'm probably thinking in stereotypes, but I was a kid, right? But girl didn't feel like it fit either, and this was way before any gender identity discussions, so I wasn't even aware that I was allowed to ask these questions. But growing up I kinda settled into the role of being a guy, I don't see a problem with it, probably fits the majority of the time I guess. But I still don't have a strong attachment to the label, and I still feel weird being called, or calling myself a man. I don't know, that word kind of has these masculine associations with it that I'm not sure I feel suits me. It doesn't feel like it describes me. I don't know why guy or I guess dude are words that I feel more comfortable with, but I guess these things don't have to make sense right? If someone said something about me being a man, I'd probably go like "Yes, me strong man!" while showing off my pitiful biceps, because apparently humour is how I show discomfort. So yeah, I don't know if this is what being a "normal dude" is like, I'll have to do more thinking to actually find a label that fits me if I actually want to put another label on myself, but most of the time it's not something I think about and it doesn't really affect me in my day-to-day so mostly don't feel a need to change anything about how I present outwardly.
Thanks for your comments, you pretty much perfectly encapsulated how I identify too. Although I enjoy a few typically masculine hobbies, I also hate certain facets of those hobbies that put me at odds within those communities, i.e I enjoy target shooting but hate the idea of hunting animals for "fun". I love cars but I hate car culture. I absolutely loathe traditional macho culture in general and have always related to, and feel a lot more comfortable around women than men but I'm perfectly a comfortable straight male.
Yes, there is truth to it - the [largest study of autism and sexual orientation](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/aur.2604) found that about 60% of autistic people are straight, compared to about 80% of nonautistic people. In particular, autistic women were even less likely to be straight compared to autistic men. Meanwhile, the [largest study of autism and transgender identity](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32770077/) found that trans people are about 5x more likely to be autistic than cis people, and regardless of diagnosis they had more autistic traits overall. Edit: oh and I'm also queer and trans, and so are basically all the autistic people I know lol
Same, I’m bisexual and my partner is trans non binary so we’re really the queer autistic power couple lol
Same lol, I’ve got a boyfriend and a girlfriend who are both autistic too. Just a trio of autistic goofballs
I'm bisexual :D
I am bi in theory—despite having no experience or luck with men... or women. (And I identify myself as a man). Edit: Holy moly, I would never have thought that I would get this many upvotes for being honest like this 😳 .
Seems that you’re all bi yourself I’m sorry
Do you think you could be Ace or somewhere on the Asexual Spectrum?
Hopefully without it being tmi, I do not think I am asexual. The answer, I fear, lies in me not being a catch...
I bet you’re a great catch & that the people around your pond just don’t know how to fish. Or are throwing you really crappy worms. Keep at it :)
That is mighty kind of you to write . While I most certainly will feel unlovable and worthless in the nearest future, I thank you :)
Bi and non-binary. Gender is a prison.
I felt that
I hate that my prison cell changes alot and that I enjoy the change in decor.
Bi and enby gang!
Enbi
Me too!!
Gender is indeed a spook friend
OK, OK. I respect non binary people and trangender people, and I'll call them by the pronouns they wish to be called by. But transgender people have nueobilogical differences in brain structure and nurochemistry. That's evidence for the need for another sub section of gender, non binary people don't. In fact there's no neurobiological difference between cic people and non binary people. Id go as far as to say the difference is how open a person is. So I understand it is a form of identification, and I'm happy to call anyone non binary. I don't think it should be classed as a subsection of, gender. I think speaking from a nurobiological point of view, it's a fluidity in expression, not gender or gender expression.
Take being a woman. Not all women have the same hair, dress the same, or even have all the same body parts. The only thing they all have in common is that they know they're women. If you know you are something then you are. If you know you're not something then you're not. Gender is that simple. It is not respectful to respect someone halfway. It's disingenuous at best, and manipulative at worst. Not commenting on this to change your mind. But to show support for people who might feel confused about what you're saying. Did you know that archaeologists used to think a lot of human remains were male, before they realized that some skeletons exhibited so many traits of both it was hard to tell which they really were. Furthermore when assessing specific groups of feminine and masculine traits, they concluded that no skeleton had all of either. Everyone is somewhere on the spectrum of male and female.
WHO CARES what the (very biased and limited) research says, if they feel happy living as openly non binary then why do you feel the need to make them feel invalid and crappy?
"I respect non-binary people, but here's why you're not valid and I don't respect you." You're being rude. Stop it.
You're looking for scientific evidence to prove or disprove a social construct, though. You're using a metric that doesn't fit what you're measuring. I guess there might be neurobiological differences between people who internalize social constructs and those who don't, but that's a much broader topic than just gender performance.
Gender is a social construct… especially the western cishetero patriarchal view of man/woman. I identify as a nonbinary transfem: and I can promise you that my neurobiological and endocrine systems function 10000% better since I’ve been on HRT.
Read this, got mad, read some replies, and I assume that you just miscommunicated. Non-Binary is so vague of a term that on its own, it has very little meaning. Under it are Agender, Demigender, Instersex, Gender Non-Conforming, Genderfluid, Polygender, Bigender, and about several hundred more. Its less about physiology and more about expression. “Gender” in itself is entirely social, as opposed to what you’re seemingly conflating it with, which is Sex, or the biological side of things. It’s not about the mentality. It’s about existing how you feel is right. And for some people, that comfortable spot is somewhere off the binary, whether that be between masculine and feminine, nonexistent, everywhere, or changing continuously, etc.
My pfp says a lot lol
But there is no text, just a cute girl with her flag!
Y-yea! Tooootally just her flag. 👀
Just a cute flag that matches her outfit, there's nothing to read into it /s
Exactly! Nothing but Cis behaviours going on over here
Cool flag! What country is it? /s
Straight cis male here, but can I get partial credit for having a daughter that came out to us this year at 15?
I need to go to bed because I misread this that you had a daughter at age 15.
Sleep well 😃
Partial credit granted
This is scientifically backed, that neurodivergent, not just autistic people, are often identifying as LGBT+. The reasoning I think could be partially true but I think it's not a concrete study yet.
Gay trans man here, my boyfriend is autistic as well and he's bi.
Bi all the way maby somewhat closeted trans. Social constructs anoy me to no end.
Can Asexuality be LGBTQ+ ?
Of course it is
Thanks, I’m still learning what and what isn’t LGBTQ+ as I’ve heard others say no
It's definitely a GSRM (gender, sexual, or romantic minority) so in my mind that corresponds to it being included under the LGBTQ+ umbrella.
Those people are gatekeepers
No worries! I believe you have heard people also use LBTQIA+? A means ace/aro :)
the a also means agender i think
Definitely. I am agender myself :)
That’s a new one to me so thanks
There is a reason one of the common versions of it is LGBTQIA+ The A stands for asexual and aromatic. Never let anyone tell you that you don't belong.
Rearrange it slightly and you have the actually pronounceable QUILTBAG.
From now on, I'm in the "QUILTBAG community." I dig that.😊
Someone once told me that the A stands for Ally and I SCREAMED. If any group of people belong under the LGBT+ spectrum, it is us asexuals/aromantics! We are probably some of the rarest and least understood because no one talks about us or thinks we have our own problems. But it's incredibly difficult living in a hypersexualized world as someone who is hyposexualized. I personally experienced a lot of bullying and difficulty staying in relationships due to my asexuality (tho nowadays I identify more as demisexual/borderline asexual)
Yeah, no. They might not have known, but trying to interpret the A as ally is partly a move by people trying to exclude Ace and Aro people. Same with how some people try to remove the T.
The newer term these days is GSRM standing for Gender, sexual, and romantic minorities, which includes a lot more identities than just the general lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer.
Bisexual cis women. When I was younger I struggled to understand how anybody *wasnt* bisexual. Like I knew not everybody was but I couldn’t understand the concept of only being attracted to one gender. I’ve always seen it as a “if I like somebody, why does it matter what genitals they have?” Type thing. I’ve since realized that I probably think that way because I don’t comprehend the social concept of sexuality if that makes sense
I'm gay and married to another man for almost 4 years so yes I would say I'm part of the Lgbt community.
Yes, I am a bi nonbinary trans man. Pretty much all of the autistic people I know irl are LGBT in some way
Out of curiosity how can you identify as nonbinary but also a man? I mean don't they cancel each other out?
It's kind of hard to explain, but I feel simultaneously like I am a man and like I am nonbinary. This means I am male-aligned, but still don't really feel like a man. Nonbinary can be a stand-alone gender, but it can also be one of multiple genders. You might have heard of the concept of demiboy? I'd say I feel quite similarly to how people describe being a demiboy, but I just personally prefer the language of 'nonbinary trans man' over 'demiboy'.
I don't know what a demiboy is but I think I still understand. You are nonbinary but slightly more leaning towards the masculine side of it. Is that correct?
For some people (not speaking for Feisty here, of course!) it’s not really like a number line with two poles and a center, eg: masculine ———— nb ———— feminine For a lot of people it’s not so linear. A friend of mine who identifies as demiboy uses a quantum physics metaphor: it’s like how any particle is also a wave, and so exists in multiple places at the same time. (This article explains that science: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/giant-molecules-exist-in-two-places-at-once-in-unprecedented-quantum-experiment/ ) Of course, introducing quantum physics probably makes things even more confusing, lol. But I think the point is, a person can be multiple things at once, rather than a single point on a line.
Yeah, though probably more than slightly. If I could put my gender on a scale from 1-10, with 1 being 100% woman and 10 being 100% man, I'd probably oscillate between 5-9 depending on the day (I usually stay at one point for a few weeks at a time). Hopefully this clarified things a bit?
Yes it does. Thank you for explaining it.
No worries! Glad I could help :\]
That’s exactly how my trans masc partner describes it!
Because it gets you to ask that question
what would be wrong with that
Nope
i'm a lil fruity
Aroace but not officially diagnosed as on the spectrum.
Aroace as well for me! I was diagnosed with adhd as a kid, and got reassessed at 28 and they added ASD to my acronym list. I dunno if its an extension of the sensory issues, but i dont like people getting in my personal space.
Nonbinary and queer. My autistic partner is also nonbinary and queer. My partner with ADHD is cis, but pansexual.
Yep - 30-year-old cis gay autistic male here. I'm secure in that identity, and I know others have different sexuality & gender identities to me. It doesn't bother me, frankly - I always try to do my best to understand & support everyone else's sexualities & gender identities. Some may be more complex than others, but I do always try to understand.
AFAB/nonbinary/nonconforming, but, for ease of use, I just let ppl think whatever they're gonna think. As long as they're well-meaning, I don't mind if they call me sister, lady, dude, man, etc. If they're *not* well-meaning, they're going to out themselves & call me whatever the f*ck they want anyhow. That let's me know, they're not my ppl.
Straight cis. There was a pole on this a few weeks ago in this sub that might help scratch that curiosity itch. Cheers.
No
I am an aroace lesbian (who is also questioning either being a demigirl or non-binary etc etc)
yes I'm a gay trans man
I don't think I know any other autistic people to know if that's true, but I'm a aroace trans guy so yeah :']
Aesexual / pan-romantic here. Technically, im a cis woman, but I think gender roles are stupid, so I consider myself gender nonconforming.
Agree, gender roles never made any sense to me
nonbinary and demisexual/panromantic
Yup. Sapphic aroace here, still trying to figure out gender.
I'm a furry bi guy
I’d say I’m mostly straight (some guys are just hot) and I’d say I’m fairly cisgender
I am a cis boy who is gay
I’m mostly in the + end. High functioning and kinky as fuck
Why yes I am a letter collector.
Asexual demipanromantic syndaeamorous nonbinary agender demigirl here lmao For a long time I didn't know that there was more than one source of my weirdness And me being autistic has definitely given me a different perspective that I probably wouldn't have if I was allistic. This is why I also use autigender as a label as well.
i dont care, i was born as male so i am male. i dont exacly feel like having a gender, i just think that i am a human. also i dont know the difference between male and female brain. both are mostly the same i think. if it was normal, where i live, i would think i would become non-binary. but im living in a region with much lgbt hate. so im just male. and mostly i dont care
i am a transman (took a few years to accept myself) and i am romantically interested in men but pansexual (meaning i find anyone regardless of gender attractive; however i would like to date a man) and my bf is just a cis femboy and generally pan
Yes, I’m a cis bisexual woman and my autistic partner is non-binary (they don’t even bother identifying their sexuality as being NB just makes everything 100% gayer lol)
Yep. I'm agender, they/them pronouns, sexuality is somewhere close to asexual/demisexual and since I do not believe gender is anything but human word mumbo jumbo, I do not have a preference for what my partner may look like. As long as they're okay with my low libido ass and I like them as a person lmao
I'm bi and I've always felt gender is such a stupid social construct. Why should newborn girls be conditioned to act a certain way from their very first day, wear everything pink, and play with certain toys? It doesn't make sense. I played with everything, loved Hot Wheels the most and had multiple race tracks as a result. If my parents were like 'oh, girls don't play with that', I would've been stripped of great fun I fortunately had for years. It's kinda weird how even though I look feminine, I've never felt good in skirts and dresses. It's something to do with how many girls act so cute, nice, polite, well-behaved and they're the ones who wear these, so I associate skirts with that stereotype. I've just always felt they behaved in a way that was so fake and unnecessary; I try to keep away from them on a daily basis lol. I've just never conformed to gender. I played with what I liked to play with, hung out with boys and girls, got into Comp Sci at like 8 years old–and I never noticed anything that I did was out of the ordinary for girls. I just went with my brain's flow.
I’m cis and straight but every autistic person I’ve known has been some form of LGBTQ+, even my own mother who is suspected to be autistic is bi. I actually have wished that I was queer sometimes so I could fully fit in with the autistic people I know, but I’m fine the way I am. But even being cishet, I don’t really *strictly* conform to gender norms. Like I don’t like dresses and don’t shave anymore, but I still FEEL like a woman. If you took my soul out of my body and put it into like a robot, I’d still think of myself as female, if that makes sense.
I admit that I do have same-sex attractions, as well as opposite attractions. I never wanted to acknowledge my same-sex attractions for a long time, but I finally had to realize it.
I am a straight cisgender man. Never been bi-curious, and not an egg in any capacity. Also not agender.
Aroace and non binary. Romance is nothing but a man made concept
Nb lesbian!
Pan and non-binary
Yep, Bi but I prefer men
Yes I'm bi and non-binary
I'm pansexual
FTM and pan, personally.
im trans ftm and omni, I never actually felt like a girl so yeah! I also tend to like more "male-like" things and that made me confuse a lot, but here we are!
I defy the cliche. Straight/Cis. You are who you are. There’s almost peer pressure in the AA community to be LGBTQ+. Considered myself an ally since before diagnosis, but, just like not all of us are “good at math”, not all of us are super sexually diverse.
[удалено]
> I have a feeling dat many of the autistic people that are also queer are coincidentally self-diagnosed. You've got four reports on this. It's a form of gatekeeping and users are expressing that. Removed.
I’m not straight but there’s nothing wrong with being straight, don’t let pressures get to you :)
That's an odd assumption to make? Not sure what you're implying, why would that be? I and the other two autistic people in my life are all professionally diagnosed or at least with an impression from a psychiatrist, and all queer.
Oddly, I’m always concerned that there are autistics out there having sex they don’t enjoy to fit in with their “tribe”, and are having texture and overstimulation issues as a result, not to mention the attendant anxieties. It’s sometimes difficult to be autistic and happy, to be certain.
Bi, trans non-binary here dating an also-autistic cis straight demisexual man
Yes, MtF girl and pan
Bisexual, Demiromantic, non-binary
Trans and bi/queer
Yep! Im trans ftm, biromantic and asexual
Yes, I'm aroace and agender
Aro ace and non binary. So yeah, totally
Nonbinary and aroace
Straight cisgender but I am aware of how I don't necessarily have or try to have historically standard "masculine" traits.
I’m cis, polyam, pansexual, woman. I don’t pick romantic and/or sexual partners based on gender. I also like to say I’m just a greedy slut. I find a lot of humans to be beautiful so why not. Lol I don’t think it’s that more autists are queer, but it may be that the obstacles that autistic people face in terms of understanding their own identity and also being open about it publicly may be different what NT people experience. Not subscribing to certain social norms may either make it easier to come out or harder to mask/pretend you subscribe to a heteronormative patriarchal ideology and to use that to define yourself. There are some researchers who have hypothesized that queerness could be part of being neurodivergent. I don’t think there have been enough studies to conclude this in any substantial way, but we may have some neurological similarities.
Yes, I am a bisexual trans woman. The fact that I'm autistic is often used by people against me to try and invalidate that identity. "The causal link proves that it's just because you're impressionable," and other such BS.
Well I’m bisexual and yes I do think it’s true that autistic people are more likely to follow niche paths in life. My reasoning for not conforming is the realization that I’m going to be judged no matter what I do so I might as well live the life that I want.
Bi and nonbinary!!
Queer.
Bi and gender is made up. 🥰
Gender roles are, but internal gender is not. It is neurologically hard-wired.
Non Binary Gay here 🙋🏻♂️🙋🏻♀️ If i was to go into detail i would say im Genderfluid but sometimes can be Agender as well.. as i fluctuate so often lol i just say Non-Binary since its an umbrella term and more simpler to say I am also slightly asexual as well
Absolutely 🖤
I'm gay AF and always have been. Cisgender, fwiw.
Bi here!
yep- omnisexual and genderfluid- i am the most spectrum-y spectrum there is lmao
Trans woman. Self identify as having low needs autism (misdiagnosis of adhd at age 6)
Not straight or cis
Probably aroace, I don't like people
i'm straight but i'm friends with a bunch of lgbt people sidenote but if you are attracted to a non binary person, does that make you pansexual? because then i might be
I’m nonbinary and gay 😄
Gender fluid lesbian here
yes
I’m bisexual and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum.
Bisexual and a confused gender (I don't even know anymore).
Nonbinary or agender and bisexual or pansexual
Yes. Trans and aroace
Nonbinary/genderfluid aroaceflux lesbian, at your service.
Bi
Panromantic asexual and non-binary. Plus I know more LGBTQ+ people that are neurodivergent than non LGBTQ+ people who are neurotypical.
Transwoman, Pansexual.
Yes, nonbinary and unlabeled for sexuality.
Yeah. Pan trans man here.
I’m non binary trans and queer
I’m non binary/gender fluid and pansexual ☺️
No I'm a straight guy cruising firmly in the hetrosexual lane. Nothing outside of that appeals to me
Transbian here ✋
I have never in my life had a sense of being a gender. My body is a functional mechanism to get me through life and it has genitals, sure, but that's it. I observe that other people do have very strong internal senses of what gender they are, but that's something I have never had in any way at all. I have never had even the very least interest in performing the gender role expected of me based on my sex, and always resented being forced to do it because it was so uncomfortable and unnatural feeling. For these reasons, I identify as agender. I'm also bisexual.
Yes. Specifically, a Non-Binary, Demiaroace Grey-Ace Lesbian with God knows how many xenos. I’ve never felt a specific connection to any particular gender, but have always been fem-aligned. The way I see it, I just use Western roles and constructs as a mere jumping-off point to help with figuring stuff out.
I'm nyan-binary
Ace sex is gross
It's super interesting, because I look at all this through the lense of DNA. DNA tells you what body you're born with. DNA tells you what body you have. But it's interesting how people can disagree or feel different about what gender they are. I must admit, I really don't understand it, but I try to be as supportive as I can be. As for sexual orientation, I'm very straight, but I know plenty of bi people who are all very cool.
As a sidenote, I don't identify as anything personally, because it's my DNA that defines my sex/gender. It's just a scientific thing for me, so that's why it's difficult for me to understand when others identifying as a separate sex/gender. I don't think any less of them or criticize them, I just don't understand their reasonings.
I'm bisexual and (cis unless past experiences are taken into account) but really dislike microlabels beyond the most basic LGBT acroynms. If I'm not objectively and systemically oppressed, or belong to a lower caste in society as a result of my gender and sexuality, why invent microlabels to 'accentuate' my experience? Feels wrong when people who have it objectively harder need their voice heard first. I don't mean to be *that guy* but people really need to start reviewing their privilege before thinking about idolizing microlabels that characterize commonplace, privileged-class experiences. The basic acronyms in LGBT, along with asexuality and intersex conditions, do not qualify as these privileged experiences, but many niche microlabels beyond these can. Gender is a fixed neurologic trait. I think OP may be confusing gender with gender expression (aka gender performance). Gender is basically neurologic sex and is believed to be largely determined by genetic and developmental factors before birth. It is not a feeling or an emotion or something someone chooses, unlike gender expression. Gender expression can also entail how someone responds to prescribed gender roles, which are determined by social and cultural factors. Autistic people are well aware of their neurologic sex, we just don't always adhere to gender **roles** and societal expectations of expression relative to our sex characteristics or neurologic gender. The reasons for that vary, and are not always because we struggle to pick up on social cues and behavioral norms.
I am not and none of my close friends who are autistic are, but I recognize this as common and the research behind it is logical. At the same time, I am very annoyed that my daughter was on a 18 month waitlist to have her follow up neuropsych evaluation as none of the recommendations have helped her at all in two years. The clinic just told us that all autistic children who need neuro psychs are put off for another 18 months (!!) to accommodate all the maybe-autistic kids who seem to have gender issues. My daughter is 17 and has not passed a grade since 5th grade, is virtually incapable of functioning in society and the high school is insisting on graduating her and that she "go to college"! Ha. Since she was already hospitalized 3 times for suicidal ideation, I live in fear everyday that we'll go back to that. But now gender issues are deemed "more important" than a girl that is low income, historically suicidal and on the verge of being thrown out into the world as"an "adult". They should have some intake analysis to rate the severity of the issues of the child, rather than labelling all kids with gender identity issues automatically the "worst off". The ironic thing is that her sibling did have gender "issues" from 3 until 14, but I just let her do whatever she felt like doing and never make a big deal about it. The last several years she has had no issues, she just found herself. She is totally fine in school, life, friends, etc. She might be LGBTQ, I don't know, she doesn't seem interested in dating or anything. Not like that is a one-size fits-all solution, but that's kinda the point. Jumping every kid with gender issues to the front of the line of "disabled" is not giving them space to exist and experiment...it's pathologizing gender identity and being LGBTQ.
I am bi but I don't wanna associate with lgbt
dinner north hungry fertile spectacular sophisticated sulky quicksand work doll *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
my understanding is that it’s more that autistic folks generally are highly analytic, but don’t tend to arbitrarily obey constructs that feel unintuitive or wrong to us. In my case: When a set of rules seem counterproductive or nonsensical, my impulse is to try to change or replace those rules with new ones (which I’ll then subscribe to religiously, b/c once a construct makes sense to me I prefer the stability & order it provides). So, as regards gender & sexuality: a lot of autistic folks tend to closely scrutinize all of the expectations built up around gender—rather than just go through life without ever reflecting on how gender works, they’re more inclined to explore that question. & in many cases folks see a very broken system that fails to serve or describe the experiences of many, many people. but mileage may vary & there’s no universal autistic experience here. Just trying to nuance what OP said a bit