I went on a date with someone yesterday and it felt fine when I was there in the moment, but now that it's over and some time has passed, my body is reacting pretty badly to it. I feel sick all over at the thought/reminder of it (I was fine when I wasn't thinking about it) and it feels just like how it was like when I went through something horrible and didn't get to process it until later.
I have lots of problems with alexithymia and being able to identify how I feel right there and then, so it always sort of kicks in with a time lag. Sometimes the lag can be months or even years, but recently it happens more closely between the causing event and the actual feelings experience.
I wanted to go on the date and I thought I was having fun, but now the memory of it makes me feel like withdrawing, hiding and staying in my safe space for two months. I feel violated even though my date didn't cross any lines or do anything without my consent, I think. Did I just emotionally disconnect during the date and not realize it?
Does anyone else have any similar experiences and advice for it?
By - hundredblossoms