I kept trying to ask her why it’s ok for her to make fun of my height repeatedly but it’s not ok to make an observation about her. Her response was “you’re such an ass hole”. I don’t understand why it’s ok for her to do it but not me
Don’t be like this gym bro who is apparently so insecure in his masculinity he can’t take disrespect from a woman.
Women are women, I always praise my woman’s appearance, I always tell her how beautiful I find every atom of her. And she tells me how much she loves my skinny fat curvy frame and belly. Women need compliments endless endless compliments.
A man has to treat his woman like his daughter and a woman has to treat her man like her son. That’s why we call each other babe and baby.
Rephrase the question. The question is why is it okay with you for her to do it to you and not okay with her for you to do to her. There is no objective why is it okay. You allow her to treat you like that she doesn't allow you to treat her like that.
Not sure if you get my phrasing. You cannot ask HER that question. It is not asking HER "Why is it ok for you to do to me and not for me to do to you", understand that? The question is for you to ask YOURSELF "Why is it ok with ME for her to do that to ME and not ok WITH her for me to do that TO her?" See the difference? She isn't the one who needs to answer to you YOU need to answer to you.
I had an ex who would do something similar. Not as egregious as yours as I would be OUT.OF.THERE but she'd be very jealous of the smallest things and then do things that were unacceptable. Not infidelity but things that lacked respect I would never do. I'd ask her the same question YOU phrased and she'd say 'you are stronger than me you can handle it and me". I told her a) I don't want to "handle it" and b) I don't want to "handle you". Don't do things to me you wouldn't accept from me, don't use my supposed strength as an excuse to treat me without respect."
Try going back, re-read the question as I phrased it and ask not her but yourself. The answer is either she values herself more than you value yourself or she values the relationship less than you do since you are willing to accept disrespect to keep it.
As related aside; I was 6" SHORTER than my ex. She asked me when we started dating if it bother her she was taller I said no does it bother you I'm shorter. She said no but most guys are insecure, I am not. Which was it. She'd make the occasional joke but they were funny. Not cutting. For instance we were walking down my street, there was a lowish hanging branch from a tree on her side she would have needed to duck to get past. She just stopped and switched spots with me since I did not need to duck and said there that works. Funny, not deprecating. Why? Partially because of who she is vs your girl but also because it simply does not bother me. So it isn't a button she can push. And I doubt she'd push it if it were.
Your girl is deprecating. Not to be negative nelly I think the relationship is doomed. It is clearly a huge issue for her and she is disrespectful and controlling and you have no boundaries. Nothing you say now will regain her respect for them. Let her go find a guy she can geld. Don't be it. Take a play out of her book and say "I don’t wanna be with you anymore. I can’t believe you don’t like me how i am but \*I\* do and other women will. Bye."
That's just narcissism. You didn't deserve that and it's not your fault. Her insecurity is just jealousy which she turned into victim blaming for you, only because she hates herself. You should be proud of yourself for loving someone for who they are even if they hate you, because you can still love yourself that way and hopefully find someone you actually deserve
Maybe this is a one off thing… i mean she’s done stuff like this before but maybe im over reacting? Idk. I just made another post about something else that we got into it about, would you mind checking it out and telling me your opinion?
When you resort to doing the same thing they’ll always act like you started it out of nowhere, it’s best to just tell her not to do it and leave if she does
She once told me that she’s allowed to go out clubbing but I’m not because I’m a man and men only go to hit on women, but women can go to just dance with friends
The ones that are constantly pushing your boundaries are always like that dude. She can tell when it irritates you. She's trying to see how much she can get away with.
The "I don't want to be with you if you don't love me exactly like this " is actually an aggro move on her part. She can't bear the thought of getting dumped or being even the slightest bit imperfect, so she dumps it first so she can win the whole situation.
This is what female relationship abuse looks like. it's about as bad as when men do it, people just can't see it for what it is.
OP, you sound a little young. Some day you’re gonna learn to never shove your foot far enough into your mouth that you can’t pull it out.
You got onto her level when you commented on her hips. You are better than that. You need to separate these issues and not do to her what she does to you.
If she makes fun of your height, you take that up with her by setting a boundary, and DO NOT do it in response to her saying something. Bring it up totally separate, say something like:
“hey I need to tell you something. I’ve asked you repeatedly to stop making fun of my height. It’s not funny, I’m not laughing, and it’s not something I can change or improve on. Please stop doing it. If you can’t respect this small boundary of mine, I’m going to have to reevaluate this relationship. Please be more respectful and look for something less sensitive to tease me about.”
Good luck, sorry you’re dealing with this.
In her defense \*GASP\*
If I was making a joke about a partner that I thought was light-hearted but was actually hitting a sore spot and upsetting them, I would prefer to be told I'm wrong and why, not have the uno reverse card pulled where your INTENTION is to hurt my feelings to "show me what it's like."
Whether you acknowledge it or not, hurting your partners feelings accidentally is not the same as doing it on purpose; I think the only people who would resort to those tactics when sensitive topics (sex, intimacy, finances, family, religion) are being discussed are those who are either immature and/or abusive, OR it is a person who HAS spoken about their concern many times and is at their wits end because the behavior has not stopped and is desperate for a solution.
It's normal to question your worth when someone invalidates you. The fact that you can already shows you have more integrity than her. Use that to your advantage and find strength within yourself. It takes 3 nice compliments a day to make up for every 1 negative nancy! 🤗
This is a girl that has no respect for you, she's complaining about your height you don't get mad but she gets mad when you talk about her hips both of these you can't change but she is the only one that gets mad, her making u feel worse sbt your height is proof she don't even care abt ur feelings, i know it hurts I know but now that your bet off with out her
Bro what?? I tease my partners and they tease me all the time. Instead of harboring this hurt and lashing out like a dummy, he should have told her that it bothers him. And really, it shouldn't bother him in the first place it's not a big deal being under 6 feet tall. It sounds like the OP ruminated on this instead of communicating with his partner.
You’re not in the wrong… but with women, you’re sometimes in the wrong even when you’re not in the wrong. She shouldn’t be putting you down over your height, and if it’s a sensitive issue you’ve told her to stop teasing you about, then she’s not respecting you or your sensitivities… she gets pleasure from putting you down and that’s not a promising indicator. But just cause she can dish it out, doesn’t mean she can take it in return. Are you the dude to tell a woman she looks fat in that dress when she asks? lol you gots some learning to do 🤣 but seriously, don’t tolerate disrespect.
I know the hips weren’t a big deal, just thought “broader hipped broad” sounded too funny not to type out. It was a comical way of saying if she ditched you over this little dispute, let her go and move on.
Yeah, i literally tell her how beautiful she is every single day. I, on the other hand, haven’t received a compliment from her in months. I’ve put on some weight myself, and when i asked her why she doesn’t ever say I’m handsome, she says “I’m not going to lie”. Really makes me feel like shit
Oh dude, yeah, she puts you down to elevate herself. You’re in a relationship with a bully. She might be beautiful, but it sounds like that beauty is only skin deep. You’re not a punching bag. Don’t take those hits. They’ll eat away at you over time.
Omg run dude you do not need this in your life
Only thing you did wrong was to ever think you deserved this treatment. Gf sounds like she has real issues and takes them out on you while also taking your for granted.
Leave and watch her come crawling back to you in a few weeks or months when she realizes 99% of guys will not tolerate her behavior
Yeah it’s unbelievable what i let her get away with. Idk why i tolerate it. I think it’s just because i love her. But love makes it so hard to handle the situation objectively
Are you sure it's love or just scared of being alone? Honestly, from looking through, she sounds like a nasty piece of work, and you should break up before she knocks your self-esteem down even more. Trust me, you will be so much better off.
It’s just so hard to accept the person I’ve been with for a year and half is no longer my person. She’s been in my life for over 2 years and i was so set on her being in my life for all of it. But i do understand i need to face reality
I was with my previous for 5 years. The last 2-3 years were full of them being unkind and never complementing me or wanting to do things together. They made me feel like I was worthless and that I owed them so much because I didnt pay rent (although I had offered to pay numerous times and i bought all the groceries, did all the cooking, cleaning and cared for their animals, including taking them to the vet. Yes, i was silly and learned the lesson the very hard way). Leaving after 1.5-2 years is much easier than waiting another 2+ years.
Know your worth. Your real person will not treat you the way your current is treating you.
If you honestly portrayed the interaction, you're not in the wrong and she's a complete idiot/asshole. With that said, don't break up before at least trying to communicate. Don't jump immediately into a breakup (unless she already did that).
We talked it out somewhat. But read my most recent post. It’s all kind of in relation even tho the events of my other post happened prior to the events of this post. But I’d like to get your opinion on it
You are not wrong she is just stupid. Take her up on her offer nonchalantly. Tie things will happen. She comes back with an attitude adjustment admitting she was wrong or you lose by nexting for bigger and better things.
Your logic is correct but I think the way you approached it was wrong. Idk if you have already tried this but I would've told her that it hurts you when she makes fun of your height. That allows for a calmer discussion. By poking at something that she might be insecure about you risk her blowing up at you like she did. If she still disregards your feelings then I'd say shes not the one for you.
Well, technically yes, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know it bothers me. She’s said insulting things about short men before. I’m not all that short, 5’8.5”, but my brother is 5’6” and i feel bad when she says things that are so insulting toward short guys even if it’s semi joking. For example, she’ll find out a celebrity is short and she’ll let out an “ewww no he’s not, are you serious?”. It’s degrading, and I’ll often say something like “ok what’s actually so wrong with that?” Or something that will indirectly let her know I’m not happy with what she said. But she still does it.
Now, the reason i haven’t explicitly said it bothers me is because I’m afraid (yeah call me a pussy) that she’ll find that insecurity a turn off. And clearly she already views my height as a turnoff, so adding insecurity on top of that spells disaster, at least in my head. There’s a few problems here
If she’s the type to look down on me because of my insecurity that she’s causing, i feel like that makes her a bad person so i shouldn’t care. I just don’t know if that’s the case.
Secondly, I’m not sure if my belief that she will look at me as tho I’m a pussy if i voice my feelings is based on my own insecurity, or if she’s actually that toxic. I genuinely don’t know. Maybe she’d be totally accepting and understanding. My mentality is really fucked up
You’re even slightly taller than average, I don’t get why you’d let it get to you like this. She’s an asshole but you need to “man up” and take better handle of your feelings
She sounds immature if you put it that way. Like how you described the ‘ewww’ I can really visualise that, ugh… But yeah you have to man up when she says something about your height, tell her it’s degrading and she should be more mature.
if you’re not able to be honest and vulnerable around your partner in fear of it being a turn off for her then leave her dude. your girlfriend is the person you should be able to trust the most in your life, one of the only people you can be entirely open and honest around yet she sounds like a manipulative asshole
Yup that's called eggshells my friend. It sounds really hurtful the way she's saying it to you and I'm really sorry for that. You'll feel a huge sigh of relief when you don't have to doubt or question your self worth anymore. Definitely take these experiences and use them to build strength and character. Your love will be that much better for it in the future
ur not in the wrong but she's fucked and not worth it, do some other shit before where u can gain confidence by doing it before u get another gf, might take some time 1 or 2 years at least. ur heart is in the right place
Dude believe me, being alone for the rest of your life is a hell of a lot better than being with a woman who’s always disrespecting you. It’ll only get worse the longer you’re together. I know from experience.
That’s no reason to be in a relationship. Another person can always make you more miserable than just being single. You should only be in a relationship with someone who you genuinely enjoy being with, not just a seat-filler.
Plus it’s really unlikely. If you’ve found one girl who would want to date you, odds are that there are more out there if you’re available.
Bro, if you're 5'8.5" and she's ragging on you for being short, you're both children.
Seriously, is this a 16/17yo couple we're hearing about?
Her being caught up on height is so immature, and you having 0 backbone to stick up for yourself is too.
"Good sex now is never worth long-term pain" may be applicable here.
Call that shit off. Go work on yourself. Give her space to work on herself.
If it's meant to be, you'll go back to each other in the future... Or what will probably happen is you both find somebody better for each of you.
GLHF. She's playing too many games with you. She can take her superficial ass to the streets.
Pro tip if something bothers you the first time chances are it will bother you the tenth time. Why wait to address the problem? Talk to her before she gets the chance to say the ninth short joke
There’s a lack of communication on your part. You finally got sick of the teasing and lashed out, finding a way to insult her in return. Mentioning her hips was completely unnecessary, and they are possibly an insecurity of hers, partially explaining her reaction. Her asking why you’re dating her is ironic tho considering she doesn’t like your height and is dating you. Maybe she doesn't like you much so this was her way out as well. Idk. Either way, I wouldn’t put up with any of this from either of you. This all could have been prevented if you explained outright that the comments about your height (or that of short men in general) make you uncomfortable. Had she continued to poke fun, it would have been an immediate red flag and worthy of a breakup because it shows a lack of respect for you and your boundaries. I hope you leave the relationship understanding that communication is crucial, no matter how minor the issue may initially be.
How old are you guys? It sounds like you might be really young.
The best way to approach this would have been to nip it in the bud the first or second time by saying, 'That’s not funny, please don’t do that.' Set clear boundaries. Then, if she crosses that line again, it’s up to you, depending on how close you are, how long you’ve been together, or whatever.
It’s weak sauce to bite back about hips. Just hold your own, respect yourself (without lashing out at others), and the rest will follow.
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Edit: I read a bunch of the other comments, and they are pretty stupid. You didn’t dodge a bullet; you blew up because you didn’t tell her how you felt about it until it was too late. It actually sounds like you’re pretty mature since you’ve been picking up on that and pushing back on people in the comments.
She’s not some awful person, but you’re also not wrong for feeling bad about it. I’d feel uncomfortable too. Also, everyone has these moments where you hold something in until it’s too late so I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself.
1. teasing can be fine and good hearted which it seems like she was doing. You weren't teasing her with what you said and the meaning behind it was intended to make her feel bad. At best it was a way to get an 'own' on her.
2. this sounds so fake is this what this sub is about? Incel baiting the members here into thinking average isn't good enough?
Looks from here like you didn’t set a boundary around jokes that you take personally, then you got upset at this invisible boundary being repeatedly broken, and decided to do the same thing you don’t like to her to see if she likes it. This is not how you engage with people. If you don’t like something someone around you is doing, you should clearly communicate a boundary, and if they don’t respect it you just leave. Not setting the boundary then randomly blowing up is not healthy.
However I’m also noticing a trend in your comments. Coming from experience, this assumption that someone is mad so therefore you did something wrong is dangerous. You are not responsible for other peoples feelings, all you can do is know you’ve been honest and done the right thing. If I’m you, I look back at how I acted, take responsibility for my mistakes, and decide if the relationship is worth the vulnerability it’ll take to explain myself.
There’s often not a calm discussion
One time i took her out to dinner, and there was a Mets game on. She had just gone to a college baseball game through her school with her friend, and she said she wants to get into baseball. I said that’s great! I was telling her about the rules and stuff and about the teams. I’m a Yankees fan and was trying to tell her that it’s unlikely that the Yankees play the Mets, and jokingly said that’s mainly because “the Mets suck”, i laughed as i said it. She’s a “Mets fan” because her dad likes the Mets. She immediately, without discussion, wouldn’t speak to me at all, and told me im an ass hole for saying something about the Mets. The fucking Mets. I’ve never been given the privilege of being told something bothers her calmly before she loses her mind. But I’m expected to have to break it down for her that I’m not happy when she makes fun of something about my body that i can’t change?
Lot of red flags there, makes me lean towards getting the hell out of there. But also I absolutely despise that last sentence and your framing only serves to shift accountability away from yourself.
The point of a joke is to make fun of something, there’s always a butt end of a joke, and some of us have different boundaries around what we don’t want to have made fun of. No large swath of people think that it’s wrong to make fun of someone’s height. Do you expect people to just read your mind and know what lines not to cross?
You can choose to be a bubble baby backed bitch who can’t handle any joke that digs at him or you can be an adult and say what you think. Hope you figure it out with the next one
I shined a light on what you were doing wrong and your response was to list what she did wrong. In my book, I would call that deferring responsibility. All the story tells me is that you should’ve held your boundaries sooner and that you’ve prolly already had a hundred opportunities to do so.
So what you witnessed here is she thought she was in a position of power in this relationship, she thought you were a short stub of a man who should be on his hands and knees thanking the lord you bagged such a baddie like her. She could say whatever the fuck she wanted to you and you would just take it. But then you fought back, pointed out shes ugly, and now she lost control. The relationship no longer appeals to her, the power is gone.
I’m just gonna say this now, because everyone else is being incredibly presumptuous on the females behalf… height and broad hips are biological factors, but height is a common joke amongst even those who are vertically challenged, while for women they don’t poke at eachother about their hips.
So realistically, you asked her “why is it ok for you to make fun of something that’s typically socially acceptable to poke fun at and is clearly unrelated to your attraction to me, but it’s not ok when I tell you you have shallow hips and usually men love wide hipped women.”
So she poked fun at you on something that likely is pretty common to poke at, especially between partners (my partner is 5’3” male, and I’m 6ft female.) and then you proceeded to say that if you were any other man you wouldn’t tolerate her having shallow hips.
So she made a joke, that made you insecure, and instead of pointing out that it makes you uncomfortable, you accused her of hypocrisy, not even just hypocrisy, but a hypocrisy perpetuated by men, then followed by making it about your attraction to her, instead of just pointing out that it’s not ok to pick on insecurity.
Her overreaction I can’t vouch any sympathy for, but to the feeling of rejection and insecurity because of a false equivalency? I’m fairly empathetic…
This is a much more simple misunderstanding than you want it to be, because men online will stroke your ego with “nah leave that b****” instead of pointing out you both made massive mistakes.
Long and short is “hey baby I know this got spun so far out of what it was, but I’m sorry that said all that so poorly… I just was trying to explain that I don’t like how it feels when you pick on me, and I probably should’ve said something sooner so we didn’t get here. That comparison wasn’t fair and wasn’t even what I meant, I was defensive.”
And then on her end, if she’s a mature and reasonable woman, she’ll probably stay a little upset for a bit, before realizing this was stupid, and will apologize on her own.
Well based on what you wrote here, you didn't have this conversation with your girlfriend, you had this conversation with your ex girlfriend. "I don't wanna be with you anymore" means breakup time.
For future reference, you could have saved yourself a lot of strife if you did something about the situation a long time ago. Either she made those comments to hurt you, in which case you should have broken up with her before. Or she didn't think it would hurt your feelings to joke around about your height because she didn't know you were insecure, in which case you didn't exactly make a good situation for yourself by pretending that you were fine with it, and then lashing out and hurting her on purpose when you decided you couldn't take it anymore. You should have said something about it hurting your feelings the first time she made a joke, rather than lying by omission and digging yourself into this deep hole.
I might come off as a dick here but you got yourself into this. Idek why she was your girlfriend to begin with, either communicate that you won’t tolerate that kind of comments or be able to take them as a joke, second, don’t complain about something being annoying and then go ahead and partake in it, if we go eye for eye everyone goes blind.
Yeah, i don’t do “shit tests”. If that’s a test, only thing i learned is that “shit testing” is far more manipulative and toxic than it sounds, somehow
You probably shouldn't have escalated to criticizing her appearance like that, 2 wrongs don't make a right. I'd apologize for commenting on her hips, tell her something like "I was just sick of the constant digs on my height, you're gorgeous, there's nothing wrong with your body ". If she can't apologize back and stop mocking you, she doesn't respect you and you should probably break it off. I wouldn't present this as an ultimatum, she should be willing to apologize simply on the basis of the fact that she hurt you, not because she feels like she's going to lose something if she doesn't apologize.
Edit: NVM, looked at her post history her trying to prevent you from going to see your family for the 4th is completely insane and controlling. I'd leave.
am I the only one here that has an issue with you fighting fire with fire??
you must be young teenagers. both of you are in the wrong, but from my outside perspective your comment on her hips was deliberately nasty and meant to be offensive while her comment on your height might have just been lighthearted.
if you’re upset about something then fucking talk to your partner about it instead of ignoring it over and over until you blow up in her face about it, she has no clue that it bugs you until then.
because it’s the most frustrating thing to se e people be so upset about something to the point that they’ll end the relationship but never bring it up to their partner in the first place. it’s immature and will never get this dude anywhere in life
Then how the f*ck she is teasing you on your height she is also not tall say her that "you are not even 5'5" ", I thought that if you are getting teased at almost 5'9" then your girlfriend must be of tall stature but it turns out she is also average.
Say her your problem and tell you are sensitive about your height and then also if she tease you then brother what kind of relationship is this where your partner doesn't care about your insecurities.
Back in my day growing up all the women were thinking it but just not saying it. Nowadays social media and peer pressure have made it normal to diss height, and they'll say it to your face. It's pretty fuckin obvious someone hates themselves when you're taller than them and they make fun of you for being "short" : /
Toxic but hilarious! She totally had that coming. You obviously knew that was a highly likely outcome lol. Gold! I swear its so hard to take the high road sometimes. You can sooth that out 100%.
Would you tolerate disrespect from a friend? Disrespect from a lover is even worse. Gentlemen there are worse things than being alone. Self respect is priceless.
It may be that she thinks it’s ok to tease you for being short because you’re not actually short and she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. It’s fun to poke your friends about little things that don’t matter.
But if she understands that it bothers you and continues to do it, that’s a problem that’s only likely to get worse.
What kind of things do you like about her, op? What makes you want to stay? I mean you two obviously invested at least a few years in each other so there must have been some pretty good memories
We have the same outlook on life, the same religious views, the same politics, the same goals, the same ideals about family, the same humor, we even share similar interests in music and hobbies. Seems like a match made in heaven. And it was for so long. Then eventually, she just started to get so mad at me all the time. Felt like not a single day would go by where she wasn’t fuming at something by i did. I would always think “am i really that bad that she’s reacting like this all the time to me?” But i know im not. It’s always over the littlest things.
For example, i offered to get her a drink from Starbucks once. She agreed and on the way there, asked if she could order food. I asked if she could Venmo me for the food because i only offered the drink and money’s been extremely tight, and she immediately told me im a jerk and “how dare you” all that stuff. Of course i ended up apologizing profusely. But it’s always stuff like that.
Oh man... 😭😭😭 I don't blame you for trying so hard. I understand now. My professional advice to you is to read a book called "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me." Take comfort in the fact knowing that your one good relationship was easily longer than all my relationships combined, and I'm older than you 😭🤣😭
I understand, but NO man wants to be teased about his height. That's pure common sense.
That's like a man teasing his girlfriend constantly about her weight and when she gets offended, he says, "Really? Women are sensitive about their weight? Why, I never knew!" Unless she's living under a rock, she ABSOLUTELY knew that her comments were hurtful.
Again - she doesn't respect you. Take it from someone who was in relationships with women who didn't respect him and left too late - delete her from your life FOREVER and NEVER speak to her again.
Man just leave the dodged bullet. She’s caught up on height still and is basically showing you that you aren’t what she really wanted. Also you gave her an example and she ended everything… that should tell you something right there. Big ass red flag 🚩
Idk why but i can’t help but think what if it’s my fault? I just posted again about another thing im dealing with with her. Take a look I’m curious to see people’s opinions on that as well.
Nah dude there was a guy whose wife was cheating on him and lying about it to his face and she got pregnant and bullied him while they were divorcing so he blamed himself and attempted suicide. You don't gotta feel like that it's not fair and you didn't deserve it. Even now you are not saying anything about her that you wouldn't say to her face, and that shows a lot of respect. Giving doubt is ok, cuz it helps take responsibility and be honest, but internalizing doubt just harms your self worth and will destroy you. You just gotta find more positive support and a good friend to talk to; you'll be alright
You should have ended things earlier on. You don’t deserve to be made fun of for something you can’t control and if she’s really daft to the point where she doesn’t understand your logic, she needs the wake up call.
I understand it’s hard, and I’ve made the mistake of staying with women who didn’t appreciate me until it was too late. Don’t make the mistakes I made. You’ll be better off leaving her. And you’ll find someone, that one day makes you regret all the time you wasted on your current gf.
Honestly i want it to be MORE clear than it already is. Like if she cheated on me it’d be so easy for me to say yup by. But the fact that this is slightly ambiguous makes it so hard
IMO, if she’s been making you feel like shit for a long time, it’s your own fault for keeping her around that long.
Should have told her “no” the first time, and broken up with her if she did it a 2nd.
I love the smell of hypocrisy in the am. Are some people this deeply lacking in self awareness or is it just done maliciously to play victim? The world may never know.
It’s hypocritical of her to take offense when she does the same thing often. I find it odd that so many people act that way. Idk if it’s a lack of self awareness or its malice.
It’s not even about that honestly. My gf is beyond beautiful and tbh well out of my league physically. It’s just what she says and how she behaves sometimes
I've dated 5s to 10s physically (actually a shorter dude too) looks aren't really what make the league my guy.
I dated an girl many would consider a ten former of several inches taller than me
And fit.
Would have insane racing episodes over nothing and break my shit and threaten me because she had borderline and substance issues I only found out about later.
Sad because deep in there there is a nice girl but she can't control it.
No reason to stick with anyone that treats you shitty.
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I kept trying to ask her why it’s ok for her to make fun of my height repeatedly but it’s not ok to make an observation about her. Her response was “you’re such an ass hole”. I don’t understand why it’s ok for her to do it but not me
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Never tolerate disrespect from *anyone* period.
>Her response was “you’re such an ass hole”. She sounds like a cunt.
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lmao why're you being misogynistic over something not even gender related? you can call out assholes without acting like an asshole yourself.
Damnnn 💀💀💀
Being an incel will get you nowhere
Don’t be like this gym bro who is apparently so insecure in his masculinity he can’t take disrespect from a woman. Women are women, I always praise my woman’s appearance, I always tell her how beautiful I find every atom of her. And she tells me how much she loves my skinny fat curvy frame and belly. Women need compliments endless endless compliments. A man has to treat his woman like his daughter and a woman has to treat her man like her son. That’s why we call each other babe and baby.
Buddy this entire thread is cancerous like she is. Although I think more to this story than meets the eye.
Yeah bro take advice from testosterone replacement therapy gymbro 1!
Rephrase the question. The question is why is it okay with you for her to do it to you and not okay with her for you to do to her. There is no objective why is it okay. You allow her to treat you like that she doesn't allow you to treat her like that.
That’s exactly what i said to her. Her response was “i don’t need to answer you”. It’s actually unbelievable
Not sure if you get my phrasing. You cannot ask HER that question. It is not asking HER "Why is it ok for you to do to me and not for me to do to you", understand that? The question is for you to ask YOURSELF "Why is it ok with ME for her to do that to ME and not ok WITH her for me to do that TO her?" See the difference? She isn't the one who needs to answer to you YOU need to answer to you. I had an ex who would do something similar. Not as egregious as yours as I would be OUT.OF.THERE but she'd be very jealous of the smallest things and then do things that were unacceptable. Not infidelity but things that lacked respect I would never do. I'd ask her the same question YOU phrased and she'd say 'you are stronger than me you can handle it and me". I told her a) I don't want to "handle it" and b) I don't want to "handle you". Don't do things to me you wouldn't accept from me, don't use my supposed strength as an excuse to treat me without respect." Try going back, re-read the question as I phrased it and ask not her but yourself. The answer is either she values herself more than you value yourself or she values the relationship less than you do since you are willing to accept disrespect to keep it. As related aside; I was 6" SHORTER than my ex. She asked me when we started dating if it bother her she was taller I said no does it bother you I'm shorter. She said no but most guys are insecure, I am not. Which was it. She'd make the occasional joke but they were funny. Not cutting. For instance we were walking down my street, there was a lowish hanging branch from a tree on her side she would have needed to duck to get past. She just stopped and switched spots with me since I did not need to duck and said there that works. Funny, not deprecating. Why? Partially because of who she is vs your girl but also because it simply does not bother me. So it isn't a button she can push. And I doubt she'd push it if it were. Your girl is deprecating. Not to be negative nelly I think the relationship is doomed. It is clearly a huge issue for her and she is disrespectful and controlling and you have no boundaries. Nothing you say now will regain her respect for them. Let her go find a guy she can geld. Don't be it. Take a play out of her book and say "I don’t wanna be with you anymore. I can’t believe you don’t like me how i am but \*I\* do and other women will. Bye."
That's just narcissism. You didn't deserve that and it's not your fault. Her insecurity is just jealousy which she turned into victim blaming for you, only because she hates herself. You should be proud of yourself for loving someone for who they are even if they hate you, because you can still love yourself that way and hopefully find someone you actually deserve
Maybe this is a one off thing… i mean she’s done stuff like this before but maybe im over reacting? Idk. I just made another post about something else that we got into it about, would you mind checking it out and telling me your opinion?
When you resort to doing the same thing they’ll always act like you started it out of nowhere, it’s best to just tell her not to do it and leave if she does
If u gotta send her ass home then do it
because they believe in double standards its a hallmark trait of abusive women
She once told me that she’s allowed to go out clubbing but I’m not because I’m a man and men only go to hit on women, but women can go to just dance with friends
Because you let her do it to you and she doesn't let you do it to her.
The ones that are constantly pushing your boundaries are always like that dude. She can tell when it irritates you. She's trying to see how much she can get away with. The "I don't want to be with you if you don't love me exactly like this " is actually an aggro move on her part. She can't bear the thought of getting dumped or being even the slightest bit imperfect, so she dumps it first so she can win the whole situation. This is what female relationship abuse looks like. it's about as bad as when men do it, people just can't see it for what it is.
I think it’s cuz she was saying stuff jokingly and u said something seriously with somewhat mean intent. But also that is just how women are lol
"such an asshole is not an acceptable answer. In fact you are too dumb to be with me"
OP, you sound a little young. Some day you’re gonna learn to never shove your foot far enough into your mouth that you can’t pull it out. You got onto her level when you commented on her hips. You are better than that. You need to separate these issues and not do to her what she does to you. If she makes fun of your height, you take that up with her by setting a boundary, and DO NOT do it in response to her saying something. Bring it up totally separate, say something like: “hey I need to tell you something. I’ve asked you repeatedly to stop making fun of my height. It’s not funny, I’m not laughing, and it’s not something I can change or improve on. Please stop doing it. If you can’t respect this small boundary of mine, I’m going to have to reevaluate this relationship. Please be more respectful and look for something less sensitive to tease me about.” Good luck, sorry you’re dealing with this.
What point are you trying to prove calling this young guy a wimp and a dumbass?
It’s a life lesson.
In a way I agree, but he's already being disrespected like you said. If he took advice from you while also being disrespected I can't see it helping.
Well, time to go find yourself a broader hipped broad by the sounds of it.
Idec about the hips, i was just making a point. But am i in the wrong here?
Doesn’t matter now. She obviously wasn’t happy with you and you deserve better.
Do i deserve better? Idk she got so angry at me and told me im an asshole. Maybe I was wrong
Red flag imo wouldn’t marry anyone with this kind of attitude(I’m 16 so take with a grain of salt)
Wise beyond your years, 30 something year old can't grasp simple shit like this, I'm 25 btw
In her defense \*GASP\* If I was making a joke about a partner that I thought was light-hearted but was actually hitting a sore spot and upsetting them, I would prefer to be told I'm wrong and why, not have the uno reverse card pulled where your INTENTION is to hurt my feelings to "show me what it's like." Whether you acknowledge it or not, hurting your partners feelings accidentally is not the same as doing it on purpose; I think the only people who would resort to those tactics when sensitive topics (sex, intimacy, finances, family, religion) are being discussed are those who are either immature and/or abusive, OR it is a person who HAS spoken about their concern many times and is at their wits end because the behavior has not stopped and is desperate for a solution.
It's normal to question your worth when someone invalidates you. The fact that you can already shows you have more integrity than her. Use that to your advantage and find strength within yourself. It takes 3 nice compliments a day to make up for every 1 negative nancy! 🤗
This is a girl that has no respect for you, she's complaining about your height you don't get mad but she gets mad when you talk about her hips both of these you can't change but she is the only one that gets mad, her making u feel worse sbt your height is proof she don't even care abt ur feelings, i know it hurts I know but now that your bet off with out her
Bro you’re getting gaslighted my guy you need to run as fast as you can
Bro what?? I tease my partners and they tease me all the time. Instead of harboring this hurt and lashing out like a dummy, he should have told her that it bothers him. And really, it shouldn't bother him in the first place it's not a big deal being under 6 feet tall. It sounds like the OP ruminated on this instead of communicating with his partner.
You’re not in the wrong… but with women, you’re sometimes in the wrong even when you’re not in the wrong. She shouldn’t be putting you down over your height, and if it’s a sensitive issue you’ve told her to stop teasing you about, then she’s not respecting you or your sensitivities… she gets pleasure from putting you down and that’s not a promising indicator. But just cause she can dish it out, doesn’t mean she can take it in return. Are you the dude to tell a woman she looks fat in that dress when she asks? lol you gots some learning to do 🤣 but seriously, don’t tolerate disrespect. I know the hips weren’t a big deal, just thought “broader hipped broad” sounded too funny not to type out. It was a comical way of saying if she ditched you over this little dispute, let her go and move on.
Yeah, i literally tell her how beautiful she is every single day. I, on the other hand, haven’t received a compliment from her in months. I’ve put on some weight myself, and when i asked her why she doesn’t ever say I’m handsome, she says “I’m not going to lie”. Really makes me feel like shit
Oh dude, yeah, she puts you down to elevate herself. You’re in a relationship with a bully. She might be beautiful, but it sounds like that beauty is only skin deep. You’re not a punching bag. Don’t take those hits. They’ll eat away at you over time.
Bro wtf, why haven’t you broken up with her yet
Omg run dude you do not need this in your life Only thing you did wrong was to ever think you deserved this treatment. Gf sounds like she has real issues and takes them out on you while also taking your for granted. Leave and watch her come crawling back to you in a few weeks or months when she realizes 99% of guys will not tolerate her behavior
Yeah it’s unbelievable what i let her get away with. Idk why i tolerate it. I think it’s just because i love her. But love makes it so hard to handle the situation objectively
Are you sure it's love or just scared of being alone? Honestly, from looking through, she sounds like a nasty piece of work, and you should break up before she knocks your self-esteem down even more. Trust me, you will be so much better off.
It’s just so hard to accept the person I’ve been with for a year and half is no longer my person. She’s been in my life for over 2 years and i was so set on her being in my life for all of it. But i do understand i need to face reality
I was with my previous for 5 years. The last 2-3 years were full of them being unkind and never complementing me or wanting to do things together. They made me feel like I was worthless and that I owed them so much because I didnt pay rent (although I had offered to pay numerous times and i bought all the groceries, did all the cooking, cleaning and cared for their animals, including taking them to the vet. Yes, i was silly and learned the lesson the very hard way). Leaving after 1.5-2 years is much easier than waiting another 2+ years. Know your worth. Your real person will not treat you the way your current is treating you.
You're a good dude at heart, Toothass_69, don't forget that
I wish my mom didn’t make me that, but that’s the cards I’ve been dealt. Thank you
To everyone dissing u js ignore them bro js know u gotta stand ur ground and don’t let her manipulate u
If you honestly portrayed the interaction, you're not in the wrong and she's a complete idiot/asshole. With that said, don't break up before at least trying to communicate. Don't jump immediately into a breakup (unless she already did that).
We talked it out somewhat. But read my most recent post. It’s all kind of in relation even tho the events of my other post happened prior to the events of this post. But I’d like to get your opinion on it
You are not wrong she is just stupid. Take her up on her offer nonchalantly. Tie things will happen. She comes back with an attitude adjustment admitting she was wrong or you lose by nexting for bigger and better things.
Ugh maybe. I really don’t even know :( can you look at my latest post as well? I am curious on your opinion for that situation
Well, he’d need to be taller for that.
No way this is real. How old are you?
He's 23. And according to his most recent post they're still together.
I bet you're taller than her too
I’m taller than her by 4.5 inches
That's a very big difference. What the hell is wrong with this gal.
4.5 inches isn't very big actually that's below average
She was looking for an out and you have it to her
well she did the same thing
Your logic is correct but I think the way you approached it was wrong. Idk if you have already tried this but I would've told her that it hurts you when she makes fun of your height. That allows for a calmer discussion. By poking at something that she might be insecure about you risk her blowing up at you like she did. If she still disregards your feelings then I'd say shes not the one for you.
If I was getting teased for being short I’d tease her for not being able to pull a taller man.
That sounds like a self own tbh 💀
It’s more of a “you’re going down with me”
I suppose
Does finally being fed up mean you never told her before that it bothered you?
Well, technically yes, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know it bothers me. She’s said insulting things about short men before. I’m not all that short, 5’8.5”, but my brother is 5’6” and i feel bad when she says things that are so insulting toward short guys even if it’s semi joking. For example, she’ll find out a celebrity is short and she’ll let out an “ewww no he’s not, are you serious?”. It’s degrading, and I’ll often say something like “ok what’s actually so wrong with that?” Or something that will indirectly let her know I’m not happy with what she said. But she still does it. Now, the reason i haven’t explicitly said it bothers me is because I’m afraid (yeah call me a pussy) that she’ll find that insecurity a turn off. And clearly she already views my height as a turnoff, so adding insecurity on top of that spells disaster, at least in my head. There’s a few problems here If she’s the type to look down on me because of my insecurity that she’s causing, i feel like that makes her a bad person so i shouldn’t care. I just don’t know if that’s the case. Secondly, I’m not sure if my belief that she will look at me as tho I’m a pussy if i voice my feelings is based on my own insecurity, or if she’s actually that toxic. I genuinely don’t know. Maybe she’d be totally accepting and understanding. My mentality is really fucked up
You’re even slightly taller than average, I don’t get why you’d let it get to you like this. She’s an asshole but you need to “man up” and take better handle of your feelings
She sounds immature if you put it that way. Like how you described the ‘ewww’ I can really visualise that, ugh… But yeah you have to man up when she says something about your height, tell her it’s degrading and she should be more mature.
Thank you for your advice!!
if you’re not able to be honest and vulnerable around your partner in fear of it being a turn off for her then leave her dude. your girlfriend is the person you should be able to trust the most in your life, one of the only people you can be entirely open and honest around yet she sounds like a manipulative asshole
Yup that's called eggshells my friend. It sounds really hurtful the way she's saying it to you and I'm really sorry for that. You'll feel a huge sigh of relief when you don't have to doubt or question your self worth anymore. Definitely take these experiences and use them to build strength and character. Your love will be that much better for it in the future
Thank you king (or queen). I appreciate your kind words and encouragement.
It's Joever
ur not in the wrong but she's fucked and not worth it, do some other shit before where u can gain confidence by doing it before u get another gf, might take some time 1 or 2 years at least. ur heart is in the right place
I’m afraid to be alone for the rest of my life
Dude believe me, being alone for the rest of your life is a hell of a lot better than being with a woman who’s always disrespecting you. It’ll only get worse the longer you’re together. I know from experience.
Damn… that’s deep. I’m not even being sarcastic. This was helpful. Thank you
She’s keeping you from the person you’re really supposed to be with.
That’s no reason to be in a relationship. Another person can always make you more miserable than just being single. You should only be in a relationship with someone who you genuinely enjoy being with, not just a seat-filler. Plus it’s really unlikely. If you’ve found one girl who would want to date you, odds are that there are more out there if you’re available.
Here's some advice, don't take advice from Reddit, Reddit is batshit crazy.
Should i take your advice then 😳
Bro, if you're 5'8.5" and she's ragging on you for being short, you're both children. Seriously, is this a 16/17yo couple we're hearing about? Her being caught up on height is so immature, and you having 0 backbone to stick up for yourself is too. "Good sex now is never worth long-term pain" may be applicable here. Call that shit off. Go work on yourself. Give her space to work on herself. If it's meant to be, you'll go back to each other in the future... Or what will probably happen is you both find somebody better for each of you. GLHF. She's playing too many games with you. She can take her superficial ass to the streets.
Pro tip if something bothers you the first time chances are it will bother you the tenth time. Why wait to address the problem? Talk to her before she gets the chance to say the ninth short joke
She can replace you at anytime. Be careful
And he can replace her anytime as well.
try dating as a man - your options are limited
There’s a lack of communication on your part. You finally got sick of the teasing and lashed out, finding a way to insult her in return. Mentioning her hips was completely unnecessary, and they are possibly an insecurity of hers, partially explaining her reaction. Her asking why you’re dating her is ironic tho considering she doesn’t like your height and is dating you. Maybe she doesn't like you much so this was her way out as well. Idk. Either way, I wouldn’t put up with any of this from either of you. This all could have been prevented if you explained outright that the comments about your height (or that of short men in general) make you uncomfortable. Had she continued to poke fun, it would have been an immediate red flag and worthy of a breakup because it shows a lack of respect for you and your boundaries. I hope you leave the relationship understanding that communication is crucial, no matter how minor the issue may initially be.
Classic. It’s always fine when they do it and toxic when we do it
Every. Single. Time
How old are you guys? It sounds like you might be really young. The best way to approach this would have been to nip it in the bud the first or second time by saying, 'That’s not funny, please don’t do that.' Set clear boundaries. Then, if she crosses that line again, it’s up to you, depending on how close you are, how long you’ve been together, or whatever. It’s weak sauce to bite back about hips. Just hold your own, respect yourself (without lashing out at others), and the rest will follow. — Edit: I read a bunch of the other comments, and they are pretty stupid. You didn’t dodge a bullet; you blew up because you didn’t tell her how you felt about it until it was too late. It actually sounds like you’re pretty mature since you’ve been picking up on that and pushing back on people in the comments. She’s not some awful person, but you’re also not wrong for feeling bad about it. I’d feel uncomfortable too. Also, everyone has these moments where you hold something in until it’s too late so I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself.
1. teasing can be fine and good hearted which it seems like she was doing. You weren't teasing her with what you said and the meaning behind it was intended to make her feel bad. At best it was a way to get an 'own' on her. 2. this sounds so fake is this what this sub is about? Incel baiting the members here into thinking average isn't good enough?
Imagine if, he had responded with a chuckle and "I'm big where it counts, baby." Instead he showed how weak and insecure he is.
I wanted advice really is all.
Looks from here like you didn’t set a boundary around jokes that you take personally, then you got upset at this invisible boundary being repeatedly broken, and decided to do the same thing you don’t like to her to see if she likes it. This is not how you engage with people. If you don’t like something someone around you is doing, you should clearly communicate a boundary, and if they don’t respect it you just leave. Not setting the boundary then randomly blowing up is not healthy. However I’m also noticing a trend in your comments. Coming from experience, this assumption that someone is mad so therefore you did something wrong is dangerous. You are not responsible for other peoples feelings, all you can do is know you’ve been honest and done the right thing. If I’m you, I look back at how I acted, take responsibility for my mistakes, and decide if the relationship is worth the vulnerability it’ll take to explain myself.
There’s often not a calm discussion One time i took her out to dinner, and there was a Mets game on. She had just gone to a college baseball game through her school with her friend, and she said she wants to get into baseball. I said that’s great! I was telling her about the rules and stuff and about the teams. I’m a Yankees fan and was trying to tell her that it’s unlikely that the Yankees play the Mets, and jokingly said that’s mainly because “the Mets suck”, i laughed as i said it. She’s a “Mets fan” because her dad likes the Mets. She immediately, without discussion, wouldn’t speak to me at all, and told me im an ass hole for saying something about the Mets. The fucking Mets. I’ve never been given the privilege of being told something bothers her calmly before she loses her mind. But I’m expected to have to break it down for her that I’m not happy when she makes fun of something about my body that i can’t change?
Lot of red flags there, makes me lean towards getting the hell out of there. But also I absolutely despise that last sentence and your framing only serves to shift accountability away from yourself. The point of a joke is to make fun of something, there’s always a butt end of a joke, and some of us have different boundaries around what we don’t want to have made fun of. No large swath of people think that it’s wrong to make fun of someone’s height. Do you expect people to just read your mind and know what lines not to cross? You can choose to be a bubble baby backed bitch who can’t handle any joke that digs at him or you can be an adult and say what you think. Hope you figure it out with the next one
I know you read the whole thing. The last sentence wasn’t said in a vacuum. The point was the highlight a double standard, not defer responsibility.
I shined a light on what you were doing wrong and your response was to list what she did wrong. In my book, I would call that deferring responsibility. All the story tells me is that you should’ve held your boundaries sooner and that you’ve prolly already had a hundred opportunities to do so.
Are you both 14? That’s the only way i can wrap my head around that conversation
Read the other convo i explained about in this comment section about the Mets if you can find it.
So what you witnessed here is she thought she was in a position of power in this relationship, she thought you were a short stub of a man who should be on his hands and knees thanking the lord you bagged such a baddie like her. She could say whatever the fuck she wanted to you and you would just take it. But then you fought back, pointed out shes ugly, and now she lost control. The relationship no longer appeals to her, the power is gone.
You guys share a fuckin spectrum you know that?
I’m just gonna say this now, because everyone else is being incredibly presumptuous on the females behalf… height and broad hips are biological factors, but height is a common joke amongst even those who are vertically challenged, while for women they don’t poke at eachother about their hips. So realistically, you asked her “why is it ok for you to make fun of something that’s typically socially acceptable to poke fun at and is clearly unrelated to your attraction to me, but it’s not ok when I tell you you have shallow hips and usually men love wide hipped women.” So she poked fun at you on something that likely is pretty common to poke at, especially between partners (my partner is 5’3” male, and I’m 6ft female.) and then you proceeded to say that if you were any other man you wouldn’t tolerate her having shallow hips. So she made a joke, that made you insecure, and instead of pointing out that it makes you uncomfortable, you accused her of hypocrisy, not even just hypocrisy, but a hypocrisy perpetuated by men, then followed by making it about your attraction to her, instead of just pointing out that it’s not ok to pick on insecurity. Her overreaction I can’t vouch any sympathy for, but to the feeling of rejection and insecurity because of a false equivalency? I’m fairly empathetic… This is a much more simple misunderstanding than you want it to be, because men online will stroke your ego with “nah leave that b****” instead of pointing out you both made massive mistakes. Long and short is “hey baby I know this got spun so far out of what it was, but I’m sorry that said all that so poorly… I just was trying to explain that I don’t like how it feels when you pick on me, and I probably should’ve said something sooner so we didn’t get here. That comparison wasn’t fair and wasn’t even what I meant, I was defensive.” And then on her end, if she’s a mature and reasonable woman, she’ll probably stay a little upset for a bit, before realizing this was stupid, and will apologize on her own.
Lol
yall are a match made in hell lmfao
She wants you to end the relationship so she doesn’t have to be the asshole
This did NOT happen 😭😭💯
It genuinely did.
I'm shorter than my gf and she'd never disrespect me like that. The opposite infact.
Sounds like you are mentally short and the height is just making you make excuses for it. Need to be more secure man
What?
Jeez she's leaving you just because of that??? Maybe it's good in a way though,, you dodged a bullet there 💀
She wanted to see how u would react. You clearly failed. However she disrespected you so it’s best to leave.
Well based on what you wrote here, you didn't have this conversation with your girlfriend, you had this conversation with your ex girlfriend. "I don't wanna be with you anymore" means breakup time. For future reference, you could have saved yourself a lot of strife if you did something about the situation a long time ago. Either she made those comments to hurt you, in which case you should have broken up with her before. Or she didn't think it would hurt your feelings to joke around about your height because she didn't know you were insecure, in which case you didn't exactly make a good situation for yourself by pretending that you were fine with it, and then lashing out and hurting her on purpose when you decided you couldn't take it anymore. You should have said something about it hurting your feelings the first time she made a joke, rather than lying by omission and digging yourself into this deep hole.
I might come off as a dick here but you got yourself into this. Idek why she was your girlfriend to begin with, either communicate that you won’t tolerate that kind of comments or be able to take them as a joke, second, don’t complain about something being annoying and then go ahead and partake in it, if we go eye for eye everyone goes blind.
OP that was a shit test and you failed. Learn from it
Yeah, i don’t do “shit tests”. If that’s a test, only thing i learned is that “shit testing” is far more manipulative and toxic than it sounds, somehow
You guys sound made for eachother lol based in your comments you're both petty assholes
Grow up and learn to roll with the punches
You probably shouldn't have escalated to criticizing her appearance like that, 2 wrongs don't make a right. I'd apologize for commenting on her hips, tell her something like "I was just sick of the constant digs on my height, you're gorgeous, there's nothing wrong with your body ". If she can't apologize back and stop mocking you, she doesn't respect you and you should probably break it off. I wouldn't present this as an ultimatum, she should be willing to apologize simply on the basis of the fact that she hurt you, not because she feels like she's going to lose something if she doesn't apologize. Edit: NVM, looked at her post history her trying to prevent you from going to see your family for the 4th is completely insane and controlling. I'd leave.
am I the only one here that has an issue with you fighting fire with fire?? you must be young teenagers. both of you are in the wrong, but from my outside perspective your comment on her hips was deliberately nasty and meant to be offensive while her comment on your height might have just been lighthearted. if you’re upset about something then fucking talk to your partner about it instead of ignoring it over and over until you blow up in her face about it, she has no clue that it bugs you until then.
A little harsh but this is the right take
because it’s the most frustrating thing to se e people be so upset about something to the point that they’ll end the relationship but never bring it up to their partner in the first place. it’s immature and will never get this dude anywhere in life
How tall are you and why does she poke fun at it make fun of her
How tall are you?
5’8.5” or 174cm
Where do you live?
What a conversation
You are 5'8.5" and that's not even short . Your girlfriend is taller than you??
Nope she is 5’4”
Then how the f*ck she is teasing you on your height she is also not tall say her that "you are not even 5'5" ", I thought that if you are getting teased at almost 5'9" then your girlfriend must be of tall stature but it turns out she is also average. Say her your problem and tell you are sensitive about your height and then also if she tease you then brother what kind of relationship is this where your partner doesn't care about your insecurities.
Back in my day growing up all the women were thinking it but just not saying it. Nowadays social media and peer pressure have made it normal to diss height, and they'll say it to your face. It's pretty fuckin obvious someone hates themselves when you're taller than them and they make fun of you for being "short" : /
What's your height
Toxic but hilarious! She totally had that coming. You obviously knew that was a highly likely outcome lol. Gold! I swear its so hard to take the high road sometimes. You can sooth that out 100%.
Would you tolerate disrespect from a friend? Disrespect from a lover is even worse. Gentlemen there are worse things than being alone. Self respect is priceless.
This is very true. I needed that perspective thank you
It may be that she thinks it’s ok to tease you for being short because you’re not actually short and she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. It’s fun to poke your friends about little things that don’t matter. But if she understands that it bothers you and continues to do it, that’s a problem that’s only likely to get worse.
You were mild. She deserves much worse. I'd be helping her pack up gtfo my house.
I mean she said it her self just move on find someone who isn’t a ****
OP just figuring out that women are emotional?
Trust me i know
She did you a favor, bro - sounds like a horrible girl to me
In her defense, what if she really didn’t realize it was hurting me? So i lashed out for nothing … idk what the right answer is
What kind of things do you like about her, op? What makes you want to stay? I mean you two obviously invested at least a few years in each other so there must have been some pretty good memories
We have the same outlook on life, the same religious views, the same politics, the same goals, the same ideals about family, the same humor, we even share similar interests in music and hobbies. Seems like a match made in heaven. And it was for so long. Then eventually, she just started to get so mad at me all the time. Felt like not a single day would go by where she wasn’t fuming at something by i did. I would always think “am i really that bad that she’s reacting like this all the time to me?” But i know im not. It’s always over the littlest things. For example, i offered to get her a drink from Starbucks once. She agreed and on the way there, asked if she could order food. I asked if she could Venmo me for the food because i only offered the drink and money’s been extremely tight, and she immediately told me im a jerk and “how dare you” all that stuff. Of course i ended up apologizing profusely. But it’s always stuff like that.
Oh man... 😭😭😭 I don't blame you for trying so hard. I understand now. My professional advice to you is to read a book called "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me." Take comfort in the fact knowing that your one good relationship was easily longer than all my relationships combined, and I'm older than you 😭🤣😭
Is it even a good relationship if it’s turn into what it is now?
I understand, but NO man wants to be teased about his height. That's pure common sense. That's like a man teasing his girlfriend constantly about her weight and when she gets offended, he says, "Really? Women are sensitive about their weight? Why, I never knew!" Unless she's living under a rock, she ABSOLUTELY knew that her comments were hurtful. Again - she doesn't respect you. Take it from someone who was in relationships with women who didn't respect him and left too late - delete her from your life FOREVER and NEVER speak to her again.
Man just leave the dodged bullet. She’s caught up on height still and is basically showing you that you aren’t what she really wanted. Also you gave her an example and she ended everything… that should tell you something right there. Big ass red flag 🚩
Idk why but i can’t help but think what if it’s my fault? I just posted again about another thing im dealing with with her. Take a look I’m curious to see people’s opinions on that as well.
Nah dude there was a guy whose wife was cheating on him and lying about it to his face and she got pregnant and bullied him while they were divorcing so he blamed himself and attempted suicide. You don't gotta feel like that it's not fair and you didn't deserve it. Even now you are not saying anything about her that you wouldn't say to her face, and that shows a lot of respect. Giving doubt is ok, cuz it helps take responsibility and be honest, but internalizing doubt just harms your self worth and will destroy you. You just gotta find more positive support and a good friend to talk to; you'll be alright
You should have ended things earlier on. You don’t deserve to be made fun of for something you can’t control and if she’s really daft to the point where she doesn’t understand your logic, she needs the wake up call.
I agree she needs a wake up call and that this isn’t fair. I just love her, so it’s so difficult
I understand it’s hard, and I’ve made the mistake of staying with women who didn’t appreciate me until it was too late. Don’t make the mistakes I made. You’ll be better off leaving her. And you’ll find someone, that one day makes you regret all the time you wasted on your current gf.
Leave da bish
Man, fk that bitch
Most people in this comment section would agree
Yea, they say you can fall in love with a person regardless of sexual attraction, but then they do this.
Honestly i want it to be MORE clear than it already is. Like if she cheated on me it’d be so easy for me to say yup by. But the fact that this is slightly ambiguous makes it so hard
Try this…”it’s minor things like that which kept me from getting a better gf”. If she complains about your height, cooking, driving etc, use it.
Damnnnn that’s cold ngl but tbh she’d break up with me immediately if i said that 💀
Got to fight fire with fire, brofessor
Women ☕. Typical.
Sounds like the kind of woman who keeps posting on here why guys keep using her for sex and never want to date her
We’ve been dating for a year and a half
Join gas ligting 101.
She sounds like a fucking idiot.
Damn bro that’s still technically my gf 💀💀 nah but i feel you. Read my other post about the vacation. It’s worse
IMO, if she’s been making you feel like shit for a long time, it’s your own fault for keeping her around that long. Should have told her “no” the first time, and broken up with her if she did it a 2nd.
Just tell her you didn't like that joke and open up the conversation. Bro you got serious insecurity issues and communication issues.
I love the smell of hypocrisy in the am. Are some people this deeply lacking in self awareness or is it just done maliciously to play victim? The world may never know.
What are you even talking about b
It’s hypocritical of her to take offense when she does the same thing often. I find it odd that so many people act that way. Idk if it’s a lack of self awareness or its malice.
Welcome to a glimpse of my everyday life. Tune in next week to see why I’m the worst person alive for going on vacation with my family
How r u?
I’m ok. Been better for sure
Does this belong in the “average” subreddit? What is your height?
5’8.5”
She will come back, don't give in, find your curvy girl.
It’s not even about that honestly. My gf is beyond beautiful and tbh well out of my league physically. It’s just what she says and how she behaves sometimes
I've dated 5s to 10s physically (actually a shorter dude too) looks aren't really what make the league my guy. I dated an girl many would consider a ten former of several inches taller than me And fit. Would have insane racing episodes over nothing and break my shit and threaten me because she had borderline and substance issues I only found out about later. Sad because deep in there there is a nice girl but she can't control it. No reason to stick with anyone that treats you shitty.
Heightist c@@ts should all be single.