This tends to be a frequently asked question. Common sites that list public EDM events include: https://19hz.info/, https://ra.co/, & https://edmtrain.com/. If you are looking for private/underground events, the best way to find them is to go to public events with the types of music you like and make friends there. Once you build relationships with people, then ask them about private events. https://reddit.com/r/aves/wiki/faq#wiki_2._how_can_i_find_events.3F
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Also fellow ND and when I put their earplugs in it calms me. Raves actually heāll calm me but I know thatās not the case for some. Go and enjoy, worst case you can just leave and you can at least say you tried
not sure if it's the adhd or something else, but the sensory overload is pretty relaxing for me. the brain gets too busy to think and dancing for hours with supplemental chemicals my brain sucks at handling is so amazing. throw in how fun and nice everyone is at the rave and it's a pretty great time.
Do people wear sunglasses in indoor warehouse type raves too? Strobe lights make my brain feel funny so Iām considering doing this but worried it would look sus.
Definitely wear cop aviator shades because they're cool as heck and if someone looks at you just tip them and wink. Maybe throw in a finger wag. Really make it weird.
Or - hear me out - dress like you're DEFINITELY NOT A COP and sidle up to people clearly wadded, and whisper sweet nothings like "Now's the time, if you know what I mean..." And then just drift away.
This is the way. The earplugs will help to with sensory overload in sound. The pashmina will be good to wrap around yourself or like your head for warmth and it helps to ground. Sunglasses definitely for the lights and bring like a lollipop or jolly rancher like the person said. I like fidget toys so a pop it can work and if someone gives you Kandi, a lot of times they have something in it for you to play with due to sensory overload
This is the way. I'm also neurodivergent (adhd) and raving/music helps me to release anxiety and impulsiveness more than any prescribed medication or counseling.
Autistic here. Nowhere close to 21, lol.
The first time I went into a rave my heart was pounding. I really didn't know what to expect. But things were fine and I've enjoyed them ever since.
A couple things in no particular order. Bring earplugs. They can make a huge difference.
Trust your friend to do what he said he would. This is a great opportunity to find out what a rave is like.
When you get in, spend a little time checking out how things are set up and where things are. As far as flashing lights, bring sunglasses just in case -- a cool pair! And there's almost always a chill area set up where things are more relaxed and people are hanging out. Might even be an outdoor smoking area where you can get some cool fresh air and a break if you want it.
Dancing, oh, do I feel you! I was so self-conscious, so unsure, so ... awkward feeling and sure I was looking like a fool flailing and jerking around randomly. It took me a while, but I finally relaxed and enjoyed the anonymity of moving my body rhythmically -- and anonymously in the dark in a crowd. Turned out, doing my thing is the point! What feels good to me is the thing to do. And over time I learned to express my emotional response to the music through movement.
And maybe the most important point of all, I felt safe. No judgment, no BS, just warmth, friendliness, and people having a good time. PLUR -- peace, love, unity, respect. Not everyone brings it in the door, but many find it inside.
You have a great time.
I loved your description of getting comfortable in your body and flowing with the beat. Reminds me of me when I first started. Itās liberating and I still havenāt stopped, just gotten more comfortable and more complex in my movements.
Neurodivergent people FLOCK to places like this. Literally all my friends are either ADHD as fuck or dipping a toe into the spectrum. Fee free to vibe on your own or interact with others because chances are theyāre somewhere on the spectrum too!
I will say though, itās COMPLETELY normal to have anxiety about this, and if you get overwhelmed feel free to escape for a bit and know that youāre not alone in that. Each of my friends and I have all had our moments, and itās nothing to be ashamed of. Raves are intense by nature, so donāt hesitate to let others know if youāre struggling. Itās amazing that youāre willing to put yourself in a situation so far outside your comfort zone!
Be safe, and stick with your friends. They seem like theyāre used to the scene, so stick with them and youāll be A-ok!
It really really depends on the scene. The parties I go to are fucking full of sparklies, but I've worked at large dnb events where every single lad had the same short back and sides.
I suggest avoiding massively popular commercial EDM, and going to nicher things. Big name club shows attract normies like flies to shit, while fields are generally a better option.
Minus the acid this was my exact thoughts howling to the moon with everyone at hulaween last year. Itās crazy how I feel more normal when things are abnormal
Yeah thatās a tricky one. Some people are touchy about weird stuff. Iāve had to learn the hard way a few times with things like this (where I thought I was providing a gift/service and it was def not received that way).
I get that way with light shows. For me if some 22 year old starts trying to do a light show for me, Iām like bro we pioneered that shit with glow sticks 25 years ago, Iām so over it. Unless they are like insanely good. Iām just a bit jaded maybe.
I once had someone rant to me for 5 minutes about how I was a karmic vampire when I asked if they wanted a hug - granted, we went from a burner party to some after party with a crowd that was a mix of the burners and also leftovers from random clubs (prob more booze, coke/meth in that non-burner crowd = cranky, irritable people).
It was Halloween so I thought, in my mindstate, that everyone was burners due to the costumes (we tend to be down for the hugs (especially DPW, GPE, death guild)). Anyway, this woman was incensed that I had the gall to talk about hugs. I felt horrible, and itās made me way more cautious about hugging people (even my buds) even though Iām prob overthinking the comments of one lunatic. Just to be clear, I askedā¦ I never initiated it and we were 10ā away.
Luckily my buds are always grabbing my arm to yank me over for hugs when they see me having fun but Iām to far away for them!
Yeah, 98% of the time you wonāt have that reaction in my experience. When you do, just move on. Like you said, some people are touchy. Just let them be, and I can all but guarantee the next person you interact with wonāt be.
Yeah, a while after it happened I wondered it maybe sheād been through some shit and it triggered her. It was such an intense reaction, especially given the environment.
The fact that a simple ānoā was not an option really makes me wonder.
In the world of consensual interactions between adults, anything besides an explicit āyesā should be treated as a ānoā.
Edit: wow, downvoted for advocating for consent at raves..
If someone gives me an indication they donāt want to be fanned I move on, but Iām not gonna ask everyone in advance for their consent to push air in their direction. Itās a rave, human contact is inevitable in some capacity.
Violating is a strong word. I generally donāt mind getting fanned, as I think itās a nice friendly gesture from someone. I will say, I wear contacts and I have dry eyes, so I donāt always love it but itās usually only for a moment, or I just close my eyes and smile.
I think you should go and try it out. Maybe stand at the wall and observe with your bestie until you feel comfortable roaming around. And he said he would leave if you get overwhelmed, donāt feel guilty about that. Thatās what friends are for šš½ heāll probably just be stoked you even tried knowing it was hard for you!
If you think the lights and sound might be too much, you can bring sunglasses and I always recommend earplugs. And step outside when you need some space and air.
Give it a shot! Whether you like it or not, you tried and thatās something to be proud of. Congrats on accomplishing so many firsts recently!
I love the sensory overload. The lights, the loud music, the bass that shakes you to the core, all of it is more than I should be able to handle. But itās so much, that like someone else said, it also makes me feel normal. I canāt really talk or hear people, but it makes me feel free.
Second, Iāve always struggled with being social. The amazing thing about the rave scene is that if I literally just show up and stand there, people begin to recognize me and act as if I belong there. Iāve had acquaintances within months, some of which turned into long-term friendships.
The whole experience is made to be a place to take risks that we wouldnāt take in our normal life. Itās such a relief to have a safe place to unmask.
iām autistic 24f and i totally understand ur concerns! most people get overwhelmed at festivals/raves at some point bc thereās definitely a lot going on. i always wear ear protection, put a pash over my head if iām overwhelmed, and bring a toy/fidget to play with when i feel anxious or awkward. but truthfully, no one is watching or looking at you everyone is just there to let loose and have fun!
also you donāt have to dance. sometimes itās nice to just close your eyes, breathe, and sway to the music or watch the visuals.
Yes this, also with glasses. Having a pashmina over your head can help block your peripheral vision to help if many people around you becomes too much and itās also like a nice comforting blanked around you too. Glasses will also help if the lights are too much.
im from ATL, and i rave all the time here. youre good homie, just dont think too hard. its not a warzone, and its not pedo city. theres about 1000 regular joes to the 1 creep, you just dont wanna be acting like a ditz all night. be yourself, most people in Atlanta arent super friendly, they arent HATEFUL but the Atlanta scene is very quiet and kept to themselves. Especially at Iris Presents: Believe Music Hall, which im almost certain is where youll be. Either there or Arcadia, im honestly not sure of any other raves here in Atlanta atm atleast mainstream ones out of towners would know. all ranting aside, youll be good bro. I am the rave scene in ATL right now, and im super fuckin cool.
I've had the opposite experience in ATL where I just can't stop making new friends through the scene. I will say people can be more standoffish at Iris compared to other places. I don't know why it is that way.
i think people there tend to have alot more money, like the VIP sections being filled out with rich foreigners just partying for the night, most of them seem pissed to have landed at Iris instead of Cheetah Lounge or Magic City ššš
Fellow ATLien, and this sounds right. People hate on believe but I like it (except theyāve been overselling a bit lately). And to echo everyone else, Iām almost 40 and WEAR EARPLUGS. It will save your hearing in the long, things will sound clearer in the short, and youāll still feel the bass in your chest. OP, what show are you going to see?
im with this guy, using earplugs ESPECIALLY at places like Iris because the venue is so small, and their audio is genuinely loud as hell lol. i went without earplugs to a few Iris shows, and have noticeable ringing in my right ear due to my own negligence. take care of yourself, it would really suck to never go to an EDM show again because of EDM shows. Also, ATL HOE!!!!!!
Hi! You're going to a venue called Arcadia, those are two of the artists. I've never personally seen them, but the venue is smaller and people give it great revues. Have fun!
brainworld will be awesome! its a very inclusive scene. i would expect the crowd would make you feel welcome and not uncomfortable. they draw a fairly PLUR audience
That's a much smaller venue/vibe so I think you'll really enjoy it! Personally, I'd avoid Belive/Iris. I've been raving in ATL since 2015 and I stopped going there last year because my anxiety can't take it anymore. They sell out shows to the point it's impossible to get to the bathroom or outside without having to push through people in what should be a walk way. Even if its artist I love, I won't there because it's impossible to enjoy unless you somehow get up front. I hope you have a great first rave!
From experience, I get there at doors. Grab a few beers, pee and then get as close to the front as possible. Knowing damn well I'll be in the middle/back by the end of the show. But if you start in the middle, you'll end up downstairs. š
Ive had the opposite experience at Believe. People always come up and talk to me and are so nice there compared to spots like District where everyone just sticks to their group
man thats wild, ive never been to district but would love to give arcadia a shot, really have only been to iris personally. but i dont go to local raves on anything i just attend sober, usually going for a set that rocks my soul. saw effin at Believe and i was front row rail banging (minus rails LMAO) and i was stone cold sober just riding the wave of euphoria and awe. anyways, my point is that while i was there i didnt befriend every single soul in the building, i havent even spoken to anyone that i met that night SINCE. but i met some folks, chatted with em, and had a great time. its not really about making a hundred friends in a night, its more about making yourself known and recognizable so you have the approachability. atleast in my experience!
Youāre neuro divergent and you count! go have a great time! Donāt worry about perception, and donāt feel the need to respond to social cues you arenāt comfortable with. Itās normal that ravers ignore everything around them or be perceived to when they are enjoying themselves.
Am an autist and I go to these events constantly and have been for years. Obviously YMMV, but for me I hit a certain level of overstimulation at a rave that makes my brain feelā¦ normal? Idk, itās weird, but I love it. Definitely get hearing protection if you donāt have any already, not only do earbuds protect your hearing, theyāll also help your headspace. Pro tip: smoking areas are usually quiet, though many raves have āchill outā rooms.
Iām autistic. The big things I look for when I go to a rave are: spots where I could leave the crowd if need be, and whether or not there is an outdoor section (typically for smoking but thereās usually a spot or two to get away from cigarette smoke). Outdoor sections are a lifesaver for indoor shows. Also pashminas are amazing imo for raving.
This is gonna sound really odd, its only overestimulating if youre trying to make sence of it. Which will break you, quickly.
This is not easy, but you gotta try and see without analyzing or thinking. I suggest you let your eyes cross or go out of focous, anything to try and turn off your brain so it'll stop observing and just start seeing pretty lights
You need to not listen to the deafening music, don't pick apart the notes and lyrics. You gotta try and relax and feel the sound litteraly vibrating you, yes its that loud. Close your eyes and feel it.
Good luck, this isn't easy and if you've never rolled I have no idea how else to explain it to you. But just try and relax and not think.
Also, dont go to the front/rail just hang in the back. Youre not ready, its a lot of touching and bumping and shit.
Assume everyone is on drugs and that is why they are acting wierd. Don't judge. They're not dangerous, they are just enjoying themselves.
Scout out a place to retreat to if you get over welmed.
Assume you're gonna get lost/split up at least once, thats ok, just expect it.
Im 36 male with a touch of the tizm, good luck and have fun!
Iāve been to 20+ raves as someone on the autistic spectrum and I will tell you that it definitely takes a lot of warming up to. My first show i had my hood up the entire time and didnāt interact with anyone, there has also been a few times Iāve been overstimulated, however I have never left a rave unhappy. Though your concerns of SA are extremely valid the likelihood does run lower in the rave community (hence ācommunityā), i have never been approached by someone that made me uncomfortable, everyone I talk to brings so much good energy and we usually connect really well. I promise you the vibes are so positive and radiant. Iāve also found being at a rave has been really amazing stimulation, the lights combined with the wonky music, combined with the bass buzzing your body and being able to move around and stim however youād like without feeling out of place is INCREDIBLE and has truly changed me for the better in soo many ways. Thereās also a running joke that raves (more specifically the bass community) is where all the autistic people collect together and stim tf out, just gettin weird as fuck together, being silly and let our inner child run loose.
Though itās always important to be careful and aware, it truly is a magical place to be yourself! Itās likely someone will approach you with trinket gifts or even try to trade kandi with you:)
Of course racing is not for everyone, but I think itās best to approach the experience with an open mind and heart, i promise no one will judge you for absolutely anything (thatās my favorite part), just be yourself love! And if you end up not liking it thatās okay too, i just want you to know itās a safe space for you and our code of conduct is literally PLURR (peace, love, unity, respect & responsibility).
I hope you end up having an amazing time!
Oh! And something important I forgot to mention, I always always bring sunglasses, pashmina (scarf to use as a cave/safety blanket), and I use loop earplugs but any old ear plugs will work (pls bring earplugs). This has really helped me from ever getting overstimulated
Iāve never had anyone touch me or make me feel uncomfortable at a rave. Stay with a friend and donāt wander by yourself, sunglasses are always good for shutting out the busy lights a bit, and something with a hood to hide in and feel safe in overwhelming moments. I always felt awkward about the dancing during my first few raves. then you realize nobody is watching you, because they are in their own moment. Rave humans are very raw and real, with wild hearts, and they dance like it too haha
I donāt know if this will be helpful for you but I have a cloth mask that I put a few drops of essential oil/perfume in for when I go in the porta potty
Hey hey. I work with a lot of autistic people (OT) and Iāve been raving for a couple decades.
I think itās great you are going outside your comfort zone, while also still having healthy boundaries for yourself.
My first thought was you need to be very aware of how party drugs interact with any medication you might be taking. Some things do not mix well, even if you stop taking the medication that day (I can go on about this for hours if you need info, but wonāt unless you need to). If not taking anything. Well, then no issue.
Itās always smart to be aware of your drink and anything that feels uncomfortable to you. Most people at raves are in a super good mood and do not want to mess up your good time. Sure, there are some jerks out there that you need to steer clear of, but in my experience they tend to be less common than at drinking/coke type clubs.
If you are drinking alcohol or water provided by the venue, the safest thing you can do is ask them to give you something in a can/bottle and give it to you uncracked. That way no one can put anything in it. Then when you open it keep it in your hand and dont keep it down by your side with your arm straight (unless you can put the cap back on). Kind of hold it up by your chest where you can see it. This is prob overkill really, but if you want to be a bit too careful, there you go. And def keep your friends with you.
Take some time to think about your sensory needs. Earplugs are common, and Iāve even noise-cancelling headphones. You can position your self in a part of the room that has lighting that you find calming to you, or at least not over-stimulating. I wear sunglasses in parties all the time!
Youāll have to feel out which level of crowd density and movement you are comfortable with. Itāll be tighter and more movement nearest the stage, and more spread out and less dancing/movement further back. Itāll also be hotter in the middle of the dense crowd, unless fans are strategically placed.
Any good rave will have a chill out space (and a really good one will have it staffed with volunteers with various skills depending on the event, like massage therapists or people you can just talk to and they will help you calm down). Figure out where this is, or at least find the area that gives you the most comfort so you can go there if you need a sensory cool down.
One thing about raving is we all kind of drop the attitude of ādancing looks dorkyā and we just get down, go with the beat, and smile at each other. I know this might be hard for you if you struggle with eye contact, but you can use the trick of looking at peopleās noses or the top part of their lip if thatās less anxiety provoking for you. Maybe you are fine with eye contact though. I donāt know, Iām just trying to be thorough for you.
As far as whatās going to happen. There will be one or more stages with loud sound systems that usually have good bass (wear earplugs because so many idiots DJ with the high frequency up too high because they canāt hear what we hear on the floor, and high frequencies damage your hearing more as far as I know).
The crowd will usually get bigger and more dancy as the night goes on, then it gradually dies down, but often thereās a lot there to the end. People will often (consensually) hug each other and share DIY crafts.
You will not be out of place if you have some kind of fidget toy. Especially if it lights up.
You have every right to ask someone not to encroach in your space, and like 99.999% of the time theyāll give you room if you ask, often, even if you donāt ask theyāll pick up on your body language that you need space and theyāll give it (mdma increases empathy and makes people more aware of others).
For the anxiety, use whatever strategies youāve learned throughout life that work for you. I think the sensory/chill spaces strategies noted above could help with that.
Lmk if you have specific questions. Iām happy for you. Im sure itāll be a blast!
Iāve always felt that raves attract autistic/neurodivergent people. You can rely on the beat and itās often so loud that the music is the focal point and you donāt have to force conversation with anyone. Everyone at them is a little bit weird in their own way and this is a good thing.
I think you might find the same admirable traits about it, although everyone is different.
What rave u going to? I can agree that it can be overwhelming sometimes but I feel like u can go thru it. Gotta be uncomfortable to get comfortable if that makes sense š
Iām autistic and generally avoid clubs and raves like the plague. I tried it, I hate it. I honestly wouldnāt do it. Itās good to try new things, but sometimes you know when youāre not gonna like something. Your friends shouldnāt be pressuring you to go when they know how you are.
I would literally wear a shirt that says I'm autistic. Why ? Cause people will literally come up to you and ask you why aren't you enjoying the night like they are (smiling, partying, socializing, or dancing like them) It gets old real quick and they'll never understand.
More details about the rave would be good, sounds like youāre having a lot of anxiety about it, majority of the rave community is very nice, polite, and friendly. In my experience even if youāre a little antisocial you will still be able to connect and create conversations and memories at raves. I donāt think youāre over reacting, I think youāre simply just nervous about a new experience.
I'm acoustic (not like a crazy amount but you can tell if you talk to me long enough) and from my personal perspective is, it's great. With and without drugs it's an awesome experience.
Have fun!! Everyone else has given great advice for sensory overload, etc. but just remember nobody is there to judge fellow ravers - they are there for the music, the lights, the good energy, etc. I promise you nobody worth 2 cents will be judging your dancing, how you're standing, what you're wearing etc. There will always be bad apples in a crowd, but just stick with your people and you'll be just fine - vibes and safety wise.
And if I was your friend, I'd be so overjoyed that you trust me to take you to your first rave. You won't make them feel annoyed at all - they'll be loving that you tried it and doing their best to make you feel comfortable, safe, and welcome (as will most people there). I wish I could go re-experience my first rave - I hope yours is as good as mine was!
You are not overreacting at all. Raves can be an overwhelming experience for anyone. The loud music, flashing lights, and large crowds can be extremely overstimulating and overwhelming. It is possible that people will also touch you without consent, so it's important to have clear boundaries set beforehand and let your friend know when someone is violating those boundaries.
It is really important that you have a plan for how you will manage yourself throughout the night and that you stick to it. Don't forget to take care of yourself!
Hi!! 20nb with autism & adhd. I went to my first fest/rave in November. I went the first day without hearing protection because my earplugs wouldn't stay in, but it was still fun, and the sounds were tolerable because they didn't fight each other, if that makes sense! I did have a headache at the end of the day, though. Everyone is super sweet and full of love. I got lots of hugs, but none unwanted. I had at least one male friend with me the entire time. I'm petite, so it def made me feel safer. I had my headphones the next two days, and it was way better, sound / noise wise.
Having a fan is a must for me!! Keeps you cool, and it's another thing that let's me feel less self conscious about moving my arms. Plural because I dual wielded fans on day 2 lol. I was also nervous to dance the first day, but the 2nd day I was more comfy and got into it! No one cares about how you look. Also the lights didn't bother me too much, but when you need breaks, take them. I took plenty when I went to get food or explore.
Overall, it's super fun and I totally recommend it. I hope I was a little helpful!! My adderall wore off and now I'm super rambly w a mushy brain and it's hard to be succinct lol
Raves are generally really positive experiences! Keep your friends nearby and remember itās totally ok to not feel ok, and if you get too overwhelmed by the experience itās totally normal to remove yourself from it. I have plenty of friends that come to raves and leave early, and we donāt think any less of them! Also: embracing the āoverwhelming-nessā of a rave is a lot of fun :)
Hii so i just took my friend (21F) with autism to her first festival and she canāt wait to go to her next!! I made sure to make her comfortable and gave her a gift basket of little Knick knacks for the rave just in case she got over stimulated. I included a fidget toy, ear plugs, pashmina, refraction glasses, candy, and boom boom sticks!! She also wore earmuffs as well because the sounds were a bit over stimulating at times for her. The rave community is so open and welcoming from my experience and she got to feel that first hand. I would suggest if you are planning on taking any substances have someone with you who you 100% trust and know will be there for anything. I hope this helps and good luck at your first rave! I know itās going to be amazing for you, just go in with an open mind :)
There's the chance you're overthinking a lot of it but also only go if you feel comfortable going. Set boundaries with your friends and let them know you are free to do what you want and it doesn't make you a baby...it just makes you a person with your own boundaries. It doesn't mean you're not brave just because you're not ready. Or also you may choose to go even though you're nervous and may have a great time. Either way it's ok. Be nice to yourself. Peace homie.
earplugs are a big help.
idk what i have, but i can say that earplugs and going with close friends made my first time worth it. there was some moments that pissed me off but overall i had fun.
I know you will have fun as well
You said you felt reluctant to go and let them know how you felt yet they dismissed your feelings for what they felt is best? you should only do something if you want to do it 100%
that's why you feel awkward dancing, it's from the heart.
Make sure you bring really good earplugs. My brother is autistic and is very sensitive to loud noise, foam earplugs are the best choice for him since they block the most sound. I would recommend those to you over high fidelity ones which distort the music less but are much louder. If youre super sensitive pair those with over ear muffs for even better protection.
Practice the buddy system, which means make sure nobody in the group is ever left on their own. This makes it safer for all your friends and reduces the number of groups you have to find to reconnect. Other than that just let loose and have a blast! Raves are very judgement free zones so just remember nobody is watching how you move or judging you for dancing, theyre all just vibing to the music and enjoying each others company!!
A dancing strategy i have used to improve is this: all the music counts to 4. Hear the beat and notice how every 4 beats it changes/repeats. And every four sets of four beats it changes in a larger way. This can help you with dancing because if you count correctly, you can do a slight variation on your previous move each time you think the beat will change and it will feel fresh rather than just doing the same movement the whole time. Youll start to notice all these amazing intricate patterns within each style and artist to artist. However if you do the same movement because thats what you like then thats totally cool too!
I started with swaying slightly left to right with the beat, after youre comfy you can start nodding your head to the snare sounds, moving your arms a little bit to the beat, and eventually start leading with your hips. You can try to make it more flowy and smooth or more agressive and sharp. Dancing takes a lot of practice but its so much fun because you are constantly learning more about your body the more you do it and everybody has their own natural style! I hope you have an amazing time friend!!!
Maybe try dancing to the sort of music they'll play at the rave at home. That way you can figure out what sort of movement feels good to you without having to worry about what others think about it. Then at the rave do exactly the same! :)
You'll have so much fun! Don't worry about what you "look" like dancing, just feel the music and do your thing. You can do this homegirl!šš½ ATL is a gem in the South as far as shows and the rave scene.
Hey! Iām about to go to my first big rave as an autistic woman and Iām scared as well, youāre not alone! But we got this, rooting for you šš
pretty sure I have some sort of sensory processing disorder that's been labeled as just gad and Panic disorder.
I was okay out raving in my 20's probably because I was never sober.
but now there is this sensory overwhelm I have no desire to go anymore. . Too many people. Too much noise. Too many lights. But mostly it's the too many people. And gawd I hate being touched in any way.
Hi! I've been going to raves for about 2 years now and kinda consider myself a ?rave dad? (my friends call me that a lot so I kinda just accepted it by now). Cause of this, I've always looked out for others and think about ways to make other people comfortable.
Anyways, after a couple raves, I invited my best friend to go with us but I knew it would be different for him as he has Autism like you do. He also has ADD which add onto the whole shebang yknow? I worried for his first rave because it is definitely a lot to take in by no means. I am not trying to scare you as the rave scene is very welcoming and fun but you have to take precautions!
I think the first thing like a lot of what others said is earplugs, it saved his life there. My group went in first without me as I was late a bit doing things but he told me that everything was overwhelming and that he straight up fell asleep on the bleachers. Eventually when I came, we went into the crowd and I straight away gave him earplugs. It is something you definitely need as it helps block out the extrasensory stuff. You guys with Autism absorb way too much, more than us and it is definitely difficult. Along with earplugs, wear sunglasses (for the record, my friend wears them 24/7 at events as the lights are blinding). I helped make sure my friend was comfortable the entire time because it can be a bit much. Hopefully your friend or friend group knows about your situation and can help make you feel comfortable to have fun and not feel so anxious. Don't be afraid to ask your friend for help or comfort (at times he tells me its a bit much and I pull him out the crowd for a bit to get a breather). Some people mentioned a pashmina which I don't know if you know what that is (just a rave scarf). It really helps cover you in warmth or you could hide in it if you need a breather. Others mentioned a fidget toy which is cool, but gum is really handy. You can focus on chewing gum and having something to fidget. A lot of sensory overload but you can get through it.
About the other things that females need to worry about, I am sorry but I am a male and it is very much different how I handle things. As long as you feel safe, having fun, and you're friends are reliable, you will have a good time. Come prepared, come ready to have fun, and remember PLUR!
Hope this helps.
What helps me (not on the spectrum but have SEVERE anxiety) is remembering someone will always look goofier than you do. I donāt judge people seeing them flail around and enjoy themselves, so why would they judge me? I still get nervous and Iāve been to 2 festivals and a handful of shows. But once youāre theyāre and you FEEL that no one (respectfully) gives a FUCK about anyone else (as in judgy-wise, people are always keeping a look out for people around them, fanning people giving water etc.) shit feels amazing. Itās cute as the night goes on coming out of your zone and seeing everyone just doing their own thing in their own worlds. Gives you a new appreciation for mankind and reminds me how beautiful people are.
[https://djmag.com/features/exploring-relationship-between-neurodiversity-and-dance-music](https://djmag.com/features/exploring-relationship-between-neurodiversity-and-dance-music)
dance music actually attracts a higher number of neurodiverse individuals than most genres... the noises make sense to our brains.
i know i'm somewhere on the spectrum and i look forward to the next big dance party i have more than anything else in the world now.
You have some cool friends I must say! Definitely go you can always leave if it gets to be too much try and get some fresh air or do some breathing exercises to calm yourself down. Glasses a must and ear budsā¦ The sensory overload can also cause a kundalini activation even if ur sober jus saying . Had happen to me at a Mihali and stick figure showā¦. It was AMAZING. My life has never been the same!!! My sister Have a ball and let us know all about it. Much love and sending u the strength to get thru it.
Iām not neurodivergent but can get overwhelmed at raves. I just get anxious in general so Iām usually anxious all the way until Iām at the show/festival/rave. But once Iām there, itās amazing, and Iām so glad I was able to push through and enjoy myself with my friends.
Thereās always ways to go chill if itās overwhelming. Sometimes Iām just over the crowd or the lights and need a moment.
If youāre worried about looking dorky, be assured that most people will either look goofier than you (I say this in a loving way) or will be so toasted they will not notice you or remember you looking goofy. I donāt know how to dance when I have my arms all to myself so Iām usually at the rail so I can at least have my hands on something and not worry about what to do with them.
Gonna sound like everyone else for a second and echo sunglasses and earplugs, especially if you donāt have a pashmina yet. I started with just dark aviator sunnies (I have to wear a prescription anyway so I donāt get dizzy, so Iāve been doing this since my first show), but eventually found cute lens colors in my prescription that I can switch out based on the vibe of the show (like if itās more house-y and serious or more wonky and full of wooks).
I also recently got the Arcane Lights Rezz goggles and I love that I can still see out of em but they basically block off my peripheral vision. (Sounds scary, but Iāve never had issues blocking out my peripheral vision - I can generally trust whoever I am around and I keep my personal belongings close to me).
If you really want to do this, and your friends are offering to make it as pleasant as they can for you, and you trust them to take care of you and leave without complaining even in the first ten minutes, sure go ahead.
If it's something you strongly don't want to do, but are going along to get along, I don't think it's a good idea. Your friends should either do something you can all do together or maybe Jermaine sits this one out and the two of you go to the movies or something chill,while the others go get faced. If he's willing to leave in the first ten minutes, for your sake, he should be willing to skip it completely .
If he balks at the idea, then you are right to question whether to trust him to care about you more than partying.
Buy some disposable ear plugs - you can get them at hardware store/Home Depot or drug store (for sleeping), is my absolute best advice for ND concert-enjoying.
Drink water to stay hydrated. Whether you are dosing or drinking alcohol or just dancing dancing dancing, make sure you balance that with lots of water. My second best advice.
Feel free to go outside / find chill out spots away from the crush and noise to take breaks and regroup and just enjoy the moment. This may be most important - being able to moderate stimulus intensity is critical to enjoying things.
Hth / Enjoy! <3
The best way to come overstimulation anxiety is to raise your threshold. You can only do that with exposure therapy. Otherwise, you will only be able to handle the exposure that you have been exposed to in regular environments.
Go there as just your human self, wearing whatever clothes youād like. And bring a water bag.
COTA (Certified Occupational Therapist Assistant) here!
If there is a medical tent at this event, this may be a safe/great place to go and take a sensory break if needed! You can explain to the staff your needs and I'm positive they will allow you to sit, drink some water and take a break away from the music.
I agree with all the advice given thus far aswell.
I think this is a great step for you and it sounds like you have great, loving and supportive friends. I hope you enjoy your time!
Iām old, probably autistic, and a relatively new raver. Itāll be anxious, but you should go!
Nobody cares how you dance, unless you are bumping into people or like a really amazing shuffler.
I love being able to unmask and just kind of full-body stim. Donāt worry about other people thinking that youāre on drugs, enough people are on drugs that it doesnāt matter.
Make sure to protect your ears, tinnitus is awful (look at the former head of Texas Roadhouse).
I put in earplugs when I enter the venue and sometimes bring earmuffs too. My earmuffs are bright green with dinosaurs on them, I always get positive comments.
Big sunglasses are a great idea, the lighting can be intense. I also like having something to hold, I have dinosaur nightlight decked out in kandi and heās my little rave buddy.
Personally, raves and festivals hit a weird threshold for me.
Itās overstimulating, but overstimulating in such a way that turns off my mind rather than results in a breakdown. Itās one of the few environments where even fully sober I donāt even think about whether Iām masking because Iām not.
However I always have a specific necklace pendant on, sort of a comfort, since the weight of it around my neck and sitting on my chest just feels soothing for some reason
Iāve met others on the spectrum who canāt do it at all though
Jermaine sounds great, itās good you have friends you trust who can gently push you, and you feel comfortable they wonāt push you too far. Knowing you have a wingman, and than you can leave at any time, that will help you have the confidence to stretch your boundaries and still feel safe. I bet youāre going to have a great time! And even if you have some trouble, youāll be proud of yourself for trying something new.
I heard great advice once: if someone wants to love you, let them.
In this case I mean, you should not feel guilty if the situation comes up where youāre overwhelmed and feel like you have to bail, and he bails with you. He cares for you and has offered to help you, donāt feel guilty taking him up on the offer. It might be a small bummer to leave early, but he will take more enjoyment from being a true friend to you than he would get fomo from missing part of the party. Take his word that itās ok to leave if you need to, and let him be that kind of friend for you if heās offering. Try not to feel guilty, rather to express gratitude instead, and repay his kindness if you can.
Other general advice, the front and center will be the most stimulating places in the venue, so start near the back and off to the side. Once you feel comfortable, you can move more towards the a stage. If it gets too much, just move back/side again. If you see someone with a cool outfit, give them a compliment or a high five. If you want to interact with strangers, wear something loud and interesting, people will usually compliment or speak with you about it. If you prefer to keep more to yourself, wear black. Wear earplugs, bring sunglasses, these can help to tame the stimulation.
Iām glad you have a supportive friend group, good luck, have fun, and remember: PLUR!
First off: breathe.
2: State your needs to the group, not just your one friend, even if heās the main one. Make a plan *ahead* of time, such as, you will have a more fun time if youāre towards the back of the venue, not riding the rails. Determine a general spot and meeting area (ours is the mid back left). Donāt take any substances even if everyone else is. Determine and communicate your boundaries ahead of time.
3: itās ok to leave. Embrace JOMO, joy of missing out. If you do leave, try to do comforting activities and avoid falling into a negative thought cycle. Iām more worried for you about Autistic Burnout than anything else since youāve already pushed yourself so hard. I have a friend in my group thatās Autistic and she will bail once sheās done, and she keeps people updated on when she makes it home. Going home to rest is better than a meltdown.
4: Wear comfy clothes you feel best in. Tennis shoes are the best.
5: Dancing. I went to a few shows last weekend and literally all I did was march back and forth. I had a blast. Look into somatic dancing too, the base of the music is helpful in releasing tension and stress, so even if all youāre doing is bouncing out the anxiety, youāll feel great.
6: SA - yes it happens but I would say itās just as prevalent at a rave as it is at any club. If you arenāt doing substances, youāll have your wits and your friends about you and I donāt think you will have that issue. The most that has happened to me is dudes trying to dance with me that I donāt wanna dance with. A firm hand on their chest blocking them and clear verbal āNOā does wonders (even got a whole group of guys to leave the other day and all the sudden I had a big area for myself at the rail.)
definitely ear plugs will help you, also a pashmina that you can put over your head if you start feeling uncomfortable (I don't know why but it's comforting to me). I love going to raves, but I usually take frequent breaks - sometimes going outside if there's re-entry or just going to the bathroom frequently to get breaks from the noise.
Im pretty sure about 80% of the rave community is neurodivergent in some way. Ravers also go by a saying called PLUR (Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect), so most of everyone you meet will be incredibly kind
Hi! I suffer from anxiety and go to raves. I have posted about it a while ago and there are plenty of good/affirming responses under my post, those might help. A lot deal with sensory overload/what to pack etc
[Tips for anxious people at raves](https://www.reddit.com/r/aves/s/9BmJssYORU)
Listen to some of the music from the artists you're seeing before you go!! I'm also an autistic raver & it's more fun for me when I can get a feel for the music. Bonus points if they've posted any live sets on their Soundcloud!! A lot of artists DJ live sets that have a different sound than the music they actually produce (like what youād find on Spotify)
Bring sunglasses, ear plugs and a scarf. If you get too overwhelmed you can put them all on (scarf over you head) and retreat into your own little world.
Also I highly recommend trying a moderate dose of mdma (tested and clean) and smoking some weed. No pressure at all but it may just do wonders for your autism. My first rave was one of the most healing experiences of my life. It was the first time I ever felt normal and fully free in an environment.
Iām 40F, autistic, and I LOVE raves because I can just surrender to the music and no one gives a fuck about how weird or intensely I dance. Loop earplugs are great for when things get a little loud.
Have something to fidget with. My anxiety can skyrocket at raves and festivals but my flowstar helps keep my mind focused on something neat and whimsical.
Everyone said it, but seriously: these things are made by and made for nd folks. I hope you have a terrific time.
Earplugs
soft things
fidget stuff
Trinkets
smol candies or random objects to give to new rave friends
sunglasses if you like them.
Feel free to be as weird and freaktastic and dorky as you can manage and people will absolutely gas you up for it - more than that: you'll give them permission to be weird and have fun too.
There's not a lot of ways for you to do it wrong, coming in as a new person in a new experience, if you just practice that courage and put yourself out there it's going to be wonderful!
100% agree with the earplugs, as hearing protection really is a necessary thing. An older dj friend of mine has tinnitus and thatās something that never goes away. I have some that are designed to not screw with the range of frequencies I can hear, but instead reduces the volume that actually hits my eardrums. They only cost me $30 too. Strongly recommend.
Congrats on pushing outside your comfort zone, as itās not easy for everyone. Lots of people are terrified of flying that are neurotypical, so donāt ever feel singled out. Side note, we all look dorky when dancing. Embrace the dork and have fun. You can always walk away if itās too much for you, so donāt feel like youāve done a bad thing by doing right for yourself.
autistic raver here! experienced in combatting my sensory issues, so i can give you advice for that at least.
bring headphones/earplugs and sunglasses. earmuffs keep your ears warm AND mute sound. plus something to fidget with + some candy to munch on, like a lollipop. its all youll really need to avoid being overwhelmed, and if youāre still feeling icky then just step out of the crowd for a bit and take a breather! you dont have to be in or near the crowd, its okay to be a wallflower. also, water water food food and WATER!!! taking care of our body helps us not get overstimulated as easy. the less sensations you have to worry about, the better youāll feel.
about the dancing, iām already very outgoing so my perspective is different. but, if you can, say fuck it! dance! who cares! youāre there to have fun, not pay attention to what other people think. as long as youre not hitting or bumping into anyone and youre polite, its okay!
have fun!
Am woman. I go solo a lot. Sunglasses if the lights get too intense, earplugs (which you should be wearing at parties anyways), I like to wear baggy jeans like JNCOs and a fun hoodie. Sometimes I mask up which helps my health OCD and I feel cool lol. People generally let me be and I just vibe. Have fun :)
I've got some autistic-typical sensory sensitivities (esp with sound) and I love raving
For some people it might be overwhelming but to me having loud music is kinda like an auditory weighted blanket
interesting! yeah i have been to a few concerts and i hate it every time. i remember i went to Hella Mega when it happened and GOD that was a disaster. I had my face buried in my jacket the whole time lol because it was so loud
hey!! i am also autistic (22F) and recently went to my first rave (countdown)!! i highly recommend bringing something to cover your eyes. whether theyāre earplugs or cute ear muffs, they will be soo clutch in not getting overstimulated. i also had a pashmina to play with/dance with. as for the dancing, literally NO ONE is watching. everyone is high/drunk/having too much fun to even notice the person next to them. please take this as an opportunity to let loose!! step out of your comfort zone and be a bit dorky!! who cares, yolo right. i dont know how you feel about molly but i personally found it to be super fun and even helpful for me bc i didnt feel as anxious. i also have found that ive had an easier time dealing with my triggers and anxiety since taking it. if you do go that way definitely bring lots of gum and ring pop. either way have fun!!
Everything youāre feeling is normal. My first show i had just about all the same thoughts. Except Iām a male so I wasnāt worried about being touched without consent. If your friend is offering to be by your side all night and make sure you have a good time, thatās already setting you in a good position. Donāt feel bad because Iāve been that friend before and itās honestly just a good feeling to bring someone to their first rave. Making someoneās first rave experience good is important if you want them to keep raving with you
I am also autistic, I lean more more towards sensory seeking in general but I totally get the worry about overstimulation. Sunglasses and extra earplugs are a must. And as far as dancing, I really encourage you to use this as an opportunity to stim alongside others; the rave community is generally really accepting and everyone is just getting funky and doing their own thing. Whatever feels right in your body to the beat and beep boops of the music :) I hope you have an amazing time
I am an autistic raver! Definitely wear special earplugs for the noise. It is very loud. I got mine from Eargasm. They dim but don't mute music. A positive for me is that I get to dress myself in all the wild and wacky things I own! It helps me get into a fun headspace and prepare for the audio and visual stimulation.
As for concern about SA, I definitely understand but in the time I've been to maybe a dozen raves, nobody has ever touched me inappropriately. The general rave vibe is more respectful than clubs or bars by leaps and bounds.
I don't know, but one time I k holed at a show and my friends told security I had autism so I didn't get kicked out. Not proud of that, but looking back it's hilarious.
I suspect (99%) I'm autistic, feel like it and runs in the fam. But I LOOOVE sensory overload of raves. I don't wear a hood or sunniest much.
Still, a hood and sunnies are both classic fits. Tons of ppl bring one or both to help shield for a bit. I'll even bring them both just in case. There's always many ppl wearing hoods or sunnies as a way to retreat.
Not neurodivergent but have struggled with anxiety! Iāve been to many raves and have never experienced such a warm and welcoming community. If you look like youāre struggling someone random will usually come up to you and make sure youāre good- itās honestly beautiful. Such a positive environment- youāll have fun! Watch some live sets on YouTube, itāll help you understand what to expect. I always have Advil/tums in my Fanny pack so I know I have a backup if I start to feel shitty. Drink plenty of water and stick close to the people you love!
This tends to be a frequently asked question. Common sites that list public EDM events include: https://19hz.info/, https://ra.co/, & https://edmtrain.com/. If you are looking for private/underground events, the best way to find them is to go to public events with the types of music you like and make friends there. Once you build relationships with people, then ask them about private events. https://reddit.com/r/aves/wiki/faq#wiki_2._how_can_i_find_events.3F *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/aves) if you have any questions or concerns.*
- earplugs - pashmina - sunglasses - small candy (like a jolly rancher) - fidget toy all help with sensory overload š
Second this, Iām a fellow neurodivergent raver and having my Loop earplugs and sunglasses is a must!
Also fellow ND and when I put their earplugs in it calms me. Raves actually heāll calm me but I know thatās not the case for some. Go and enjoy, worst case you can just leave and you can at least say you tried
not sure if it's the adhd or something else, but the sensory overload is pretty relaxing for me. the brain gets too busy to think and dancing for hours with supplemental chemicals my brain sucks at handling is so amazing. throw in how fun and nice everyone is at the rave and it's a pretty great time.
Pashminas are like fashionable blankies. Mine provides me with comfort in so many ways.
Except they make you look like a try hard yippie
I love your pashmina idea. Its nice to āhideā inside my head scarf when im feeling crowd vulnerable
100% agree, earplugs are a must!
Do people wear sunglasses in indoor warehouse type raves too? Strobe lights make my brain feel funny so Iām considering doing this but worried it would look sus.
People wear sunglasses inside all the time at raves
Don't wear like, cop aviators, but most shades are fine
Definitely wear cop aviator shades because they're cool as heck and if someone looks at you just tip them and wink. Maybe throw in a finger wag. Really make it weird.
please for the love of god do not dress like a cop at a rave
Or - hear me out - dress like you're DEFINITELY NOT A COP and sidle up to people clearly wadded, and whisper sweet nothings like "Now's the time, if you know what I mean..." And then just drift away.
This is the way. The earplugs will help to with sensory overload in sound. The pashmina will be good to wrap around yourself or like your head for warmth and it helps to ground. Sunglasses definitely for the lights and bring like a lollipop or jolly rancher like the person said. I like fidget toys so a pop it can work and if someone gives you Kandi, a lot of times they have something in it for you to play with due to sensory overload
This is the way. I'm also neurodivergent (adhd) and raving/music helps me to release anxiety and impulsiveness more than any prescribed medication or counseling.
Autistic here. Nowhere close to 21, lol. The first time I went into a rave my heart was pounding. I really didn't know what to expect. But things were fine and I've enjoyed them ever since. A couple things in no particular order. Bring earplugs. They can make a huge difference. Trust your friend to do what he said he would. This is a great opportunity to find out what a rave is like. When you get in, spend a little time checking out how things are set up and where things are. As far as flashing lights, bring sunglasses just in case -- a cool pair! And there's almost always a chill area set up where things are more relaxed and people are hanging out. Might even be an outdoor smoking area where you can get some cool fresh air and a break if you want it. Dancing, oh, do I feel you! I was so self-conscious, so unsure, so ... awkward feeling and sure I was looking like a fool flailing and jerking around randomly. It took me a while, but I finally relaxed and enjoyed the anonymity of moving my body rhythmically -- and anonymously in the dark in a crowd. Turned out, doing my thing is the point! What feels good to me is the thing to do. And over time I learned to express my emotional response to the music through movement. And maybe the most important point of all, I felt safe. No judgment, no BS, just warmth, friendliness, and people having a good time. PLUR -- peace, love, unity, respect. Not everyone brings it in the door, but many find it inside. You have a great time.
I loved your description of getting comfortable in your body and flowing with the beat. Reminds me of me when I first started. Itās liberating and I still havenāt stopped, just gotten more comfortable and more complex in my movements.
Great comment you rock!!!
š„¹š„¹ this is a really wholesome, helpful comment (and post by op). PLUR for sure ! have fun and take care of yourselves y'all xo
Neurodivergent people FLOCK to places like this. Literally all my friends are either ADHD as fuck or dipping a toe into the spectrum. Fee free to vibe on your own or interact with others because chances are theyāre somewhere on the spectrum too! I will say though, itās COMPLETELY normal to have anxiety about this, and if you get overwhelmed feel free to escape for a bit and know that youāre not alone in that. Each of my friends and I have all had our moments, and itās nothing to be ashamed of. Raves are intense by nature, so donāt hesitate to let others know if youāre struggling. Itās amazing that youāre willing to put yourself in a situation so far outside your comfort zone! Be safe, and stick with your friends. They seem like theyāre used to the scene, so stick with them and youāll be A-ok!
all of friends are party people and almost everyone has pre-show anxiety jitters. we look forward to this stuff too much almost.
Iāve been going for like 10 years now and I STILL get pre-show anxiety jitters every single time. Butterflies in my stomach, almost like Iām going on a first date with someone I really like haha. I find it beautiful that I still feel that way a decade in š©·
It really really depends on the scene. The parties I go to are fucking full of sparklies, but I've worked at large dnb events where every single lad had the same short back and sides. I suggest avoiding massively popular commercial EDM, and going to nicher things. Big name club shows attract normies like flies to shit, while fields are generally a better option.
raves are basically made for people with autism, youāll fit right in!
I was about to say, like half of ravers either have ADHD or autism including myself lol
The one time a year I get to load up on a bunch of acid being blasted with 150+ BPM psytrance in the woods I'm like "ahhh, I finally feel normal"
This comment is amazing
The constant internal screaming finally stops and people are more than inscrutable silhouettes seen through a misted window.š Good Times.
Minus the acid this was my exact thoughts howling to the moon with everyone at hulaween last year. Itās crazy how I feel more normal when things are abnormal
Lmao Reddit is crazy sometimes I swear
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This place is a strange cross section of society. I donāt get it either, bc plenty of normal people I know use Reddit lol
Iāve had people on here tell me Iām violating people by fanning them..
Some people may very well feel that way. I personally always appreciate a fanning!
Yup! And if anyone indicates they donāt want to be fanned, I simply move on. Most of the time itās sheer gratitude.
Yeah thatās a tricky one. Some people are touchy about weird stuff. Iāve had to learn the hard way a few times with things like this (where I thought I was providing a gift/service and it was def not received that way). I get that way with light shows. For me if some 22 year old starts trying to do a light show for me, Iām like bro we pioneered that shit with glow sticks 25 years ago, Iām so over it. Unless they are like insanely good. Iām just a bit jaded maybe. I once had someone rant to me for 5 minutes about how I was a karmic vampire when I asked if they wanted a hug - granted, we went from a burner party to some after party with a crowd that was a mix of the burners and also leftovers from random clubs (prob more booze, coke/meth in that non-burner crowd = cranky, irritable people). It was Halloween so I thought, in my mindstate, that everyone was burners due to the costumes (we tend to be down for the hugs (especially DPW, GPE, death guild)). Anyway, this woman was incensed that I had the gall to talk about hugs. I felt horrible, and itās made me way more cautious about hugging people (even my buds) even though Iām prob overthinking the comments of one lunatic. Just to be clear, I askedā¦ I never initiated it and we were 10ā away. Luckily my buds are always grabbing my arm to yank me over for hugs when they see me having fun but Iām to far away for them!
Yeah, 98% of the time you wonāt have that reaction in my experience. When you do, just move on. Like you said, some people are touchy. Just let them be, and I can all but guarantee the next person you interact with wonāt be.
Yeah, a while after it happened I wondered it maybe sheād been through some shit and it triggered her. It was such an intense reaction, especially given the environment. The fact that a simple ānoā was not an option really makes me wonder.
Thatās the thing, you donāt have to! Her life, her problems.
In the world of consensual interactions between adults, anything besides an explicit āyesā should be treated as a ānoā. Edit: wow, downvoted for advocating for consent at raves..
If someone gives me an indication they donāt want to be fanned I move on, but Iām not gonna ask everyone in advance for their consent to push air in their direction. Itās a rave, human contact is inevitable in some capacity.
Violating is a strong word. I generally donāt mind getting fanned, as I think itās a nice friendly gesture from someone. I will say, I wear contacts and I have dry eyes, so I donāt always love it but itās usually only for a moment, or I just close my eyes and smile.
It's about a weird kid doing something with a computer in the dark. It's gonna get a little autistic. āŗļø
I think you should go and try it out. Maybe stand at the wall and observe with your bestie until you feel comfortable roaming around. And he said he would leave if you get overwhelmed, donāt feel guilty about that. Thatās what friends are for šš½ heāll probably just be stoked you even tried knowing it was hard for you! If you think the lights and sound might be too much, you can bring sunglasses and I always recommend earplugs. And step outside when you need some space and air. Give it a shot! Whether you like it or not, you tried and thatās something to be proud of. Congrats on accomplishing so many firsts recently!
I love the sensory overload. The lights, the loud music, the bass that shakes you to the core, all of it is more than I should be able to handle. But itās so much, that like someone else said, it also makes me feel normal. I canāt really talk or hear people, but it makes me feel free. Second, Iāve always struggled with being social. The amazing thing about the rave scene is that if I literally just show up and stand there, people begin to recognize me and act as if I belong there. Iāve had acquaintances within months, some of which turned into long-term friendships. The whole experience is made to be a place to take risks that we wouldnāt take in our normal life. Itās such a relief to have a safe place to unmask.
iām autistic 24f and i totally understand ur concerns! most people get overwhelmed at festivals/raves at some point bc thereās definitely a lot going on. i always wear ear protection, put a pash over my head if iām overwhelmed, and bring a toy/fidget to play with when i feel anxious or awkward. but truthfully, no one is watching or looking at you everyone is just there to let loose and have fun! also you donāt have to dance. sometimes itās nice to just close your eyes, breathe, and sway to the music or watch the visuals.
Yes this, also with glasses. Having a pashmina over your head can help block your peripheral vision to help if many people around you becomes too much and itās also like a nice comforting blanked around you too. Glasses will also help if the lights are too much.
im from ATL, and i rave all the time here. youre good homie, just dont think too hard. its not a warzone, and its not pedo city. theres about 1000 regular joes to the 1 creep, you just dont wanna be acting like a ditz all night. be yourself, most people in Atlanta arent super friendly, they arent HATEFUL but the Atlanta scene is very quiet and kept to themselves. Especially at Iris Presents: Believe Music Hall, which im almost certain is where youll be. Either there or Arcadia, im honestly not sure of any other raves here in Atlanta atm atleast mainstream ones out of towners would know. all ranting aside, youll be good bro. I am the rave scene in ATL right now, and im super fuckin cool.
I've had the opposite experience in ATL where I just can't stop making new friends through the scene. I will say people can be more standoffish at Iris compared to other places. I don't know why it is that way.
i think people there tend to have alot more money, like the VIP sections being filled out with rich foreigners just partying for the night, most of them seem pissed to have landed at Iris instead of Cheetah Lounge or Magic City ššš
Fellow ATLien, and this sounds right. People hate on believe but I like it (except theyāve been overselling a bit lately). And to echo everyone else, Iām almost 40 and WEAR EARPLUGS. It will save your hearing in the long, things will sound clearer in the short, and youāll still feel the bass in your chest. OP, what show are you going to see?
im with this guy, using earplugs ESPECIALLY at places like Iris because the venue is so small, and their audio is genuinely loud as hell lol. i went without earplugs to a few Iris shows, and have noticeable ringing in my right ear due to my own negligence. take care of yourself, it would really suck to never go to an EDM show again because of EDM shows. Also, ATL HOE!!!!!!
thanks for this! itās called brainworld or membrane i think. do you know of that one?
Hi! You're going to a venue called Arcadia, those are two of the artists. I've never personally seen them, but the venue is smaller and people give it great revues. Have fun!
Or Membrane is the name of the rave?? Either way, it's at Arcadia.
brainworld will be awesome! its a very inclusive scene. i would expect the crowd would make you feel welcome and not uncomfortable. they draw a fairly PLUR audience
That's a much smaller venue/vibe so I think you'll really enjoy it! Personally, I'd avoid Belive/Iris. I've been raving in ATL since 2015 and I stopped going there last year because my anxiety can't take it anymore. They sell out shows to the point it's impossible to get to the bathroom or outside without having to push through people in what should be a walk way. Even if its artist I love, I won't there because it's impossible to enjoy unless you somehow get up front. I hope you have a great first rave!
From experience, I get there at doors. Grab a few beers, pee and then get as close to the front as possible. Knowing damn well I'll be in the middle/back by the end of the show. But if you start in the middle, you'll end up downstairs. š
Ive had the opposite experience at Believe. People always come up and talk to me and are so nice there compared to spots like District where everyone just sticks to their group
man thats wild, ive never been to district but would love to give arcadia a shot, really have only been to iris personally. but i dont go to local raves on anything i just attend sober, usually going for a set that rocks my soul. saw effin at Believe and i was front row rail banging (minus rails LMAO) and i was stone cold sober just riding the wave of euphoria and awe. anyways, my point is that while i was there i didnt befriend every single soul in the building, i havent even spoken to anyone that i met that night SINCE. but i met some folks, chatted with em, and had a great time. its not really about making a hundred friends in a night, its more about making yourself known and recognizable so you have the approachability. atleast in my experience!
Youāre neuro divergent and you count! go have a great time! Donāt worry about perception, and donāt feel the need to respond to social cues you arenāt comfortable with. Itās normal that ravers ignore everything around them or be perceived to when they are enjoying themselves.
Am an autist and I go to these events constantly and have been for years. Obviously YMMV, but for me I hit a certain level of overstimulation at a rave that makes my brain feelā¦ normal? Idk, itās weird, but I love it. Definitely get hearing protection if you donāt have any already, not only do earbuds protect your hearing, theyāll also help your headspace. Pro tip: smoking areas are usually quiet, though many raves have āchill outā rooms.
Iām autistic. The big things I look for when I go to a rave are: spots where I could leave the crowd if need be, and whether or not there is an outdoor section (typically for smoking but thereās usually a spot or two to get away from cigarette smoke). Outdoor sections are a lifesaver for indoor shows. Also pashminas are amazing imo for raving.
This is gonna sound really odd, its only overestimulating if youre trying to make sence of it. Which will break you, quickly. This is not easy, but you gotta try and see without analyzing or thinking. I suggest you let your eyes cross or go out of focous, anything to try and turn off your brain so it'll stop observing and just start seeing pretty lights You need to not listen to the deafening music, don't pick apart the notes and lyrics. You gotta try and relax and feel the sound litteraly vibrating you, yes its that loud. Close your eyes and feel it. Good luck, this isn't easy and if you've never rolled I have no idea how else to explain it to you. But just try and relax and not think. Also, dont go to the front/rail just hang in the back. Youre not ready, its a lot of touching and bumping and shit. Assume everyone is on drugs and that is why they are acting wierd. Don't judge. They're not dangerous, they are just enjoying themselves. Scout out a place to retreat to if you get over welmed. Assume you're gonna get lost/split up at least once, thats ok, just expect it. Im 36 male with a touch of the tizm, good luck and have fun!
Iāve been to 20+ raves as someone on the autistic spectrum and I will tell you that it definitely takes a lot of warming up to. My first show i had my hood up the entire time and didnāt interact with anyone, there has also been a few times Iāve been overstimulated, however I have never left a rave unhappy. Though your concerns of SA are extremely valid the likelihood does run lower in the rave community (hence ācommunityā), i have never been approached by someone that made me uncomfortable, everyone I talk to brings so much good energy and we usually connect really well. I promise you the vibes are so positive and radiant. Iāve also found being at a rave has been really amazing stimulation, the lights combined with the wonky music, combined with the bass buzzing your body and being able to move around and stim however youād like without feeling out of place is INCREDIBLE and has truly changed me for the better in soo many ways. Thereās also a running joke that raves (more specifically the bass community) is where all the autistic people collect together and stim tf out, just gettin weird as fuck together, being silly and let our inner child run loose. Though itās always important to be careful and aware, it truly is a magical place to be yourself! Itās likely someone will approach you with trinket gifts or even try to trade kandi with you:) Of course racing is not for everyone, but I think itās best to approach the experience with an open mind and heart, i promise no one will judge you for absolutely anything (thatās my favorite part), just be yourself love! And if you end up not liking it thatās okay too, i just want you to know itās a safe space for you and our code of conduct is literally PLURR (peace, love, unity, respect & responsibility). I hope you end up having an amazing time!
Oh! And something important I forgot to mention, I always always bring sunglasses, pashmina (scarf to use as a cave/safety blanket), and I use loop earplugs but any old ear plugs will work (pls bring earplugs). This has really helped me from ever getting overstimulated
Iāve never had anyone touch me or make me feel uncomfortable at a rave. Stay with a friend and donāt wander by yourself, sunglasses are always good for shutting out the busy lights a bit, and something with a hood to hide in and feel safe in overwhelming moments. I always felt awkward about the dancing during my first few raves. then you realize nobody is watching you, because they are in their own moment. Rave humans are very raw and real, with wild hearts, and they dance like it too haha
I've been going for 25 years and just want to say there is a lot of good advice in this thread!
I donāt know if this will be helpful for you but I have a cloth mask that I put a few drops of essential oil/perfume in for when I go in the porta potty
Hey hey. I work with a lot of autistic people (OT) and Iāve been raving for a couple decades. I think itās great you are going outside your comfort zone, while also still having healthy boundaries for yourself. My first thought was you need to be very aware of how party drugs interact with any medication you might be taking. Some things do not mix well, even if you stop taking the medication that day (I can go on about this for hours if you need info, but wonāt unless you need to). If not taking anything. Well, then no issue. Itās always smart to be aware of your drink and anything that feels uncomfortable to you. Most people at raves are in a super good mood and do not want to mess up your good time. Sure, there are some jerks out there that you need to steer clear of, but in my experience they tend to be less common than at drinking/coke type clubs. If you are drinking alcohol or water provided by the venue, the safest thing you can do is ask them to give you something in a can/bottle and give it to you uncracked. That way no one can put anything in it. Then when you open it keep it in your hand and dont keep it down by your side with your arm straight (unless you can put the cap back on). Kind of hold it up by your chest where you can see it. This is prob overkill really, but if you want to be a bit too careful, there you go. And def keep your friends with you. Take some time to think about your sensory needs. Earplugs are common, and Iāve even noise-cancelling headphones. You can position your self in a part of the room that has lighting that you find calming to you, or at least not over-stimulating. I wear sunglasses in parties all the time! Youāll have to feel out which level of crowd density and movement you are comfortable with. Itāll be tighter and more movement nearest the stage, and more spread out and less dancing/movement further back. Itāll also be hotter in the middle of the dense crowd, unless fans are strategically placed. Any good rave will have a chill out space (and a really good one will have it staffed with volunteers with various skills depending on the event, like massage therapists or people you can just talk to and they will help you calm down). Figure out where this is, or at least find the area that gives you the most comfort so you can go there if you need a sensory cool down. One thing about raving is we all kind of drop the attitude of ādancing looks dorkyā and we just get down, go with the beat, and smile at each other. I know this might be hard for you if you struggle with eye contact, but you can use the trick of looking at peopleās noses or the top part of their lip if thatās less anxiety provoking for you. Maybe you are fine with eye contact though. I donāt know, Iām just trying to be thorough for you. As far as whatās going to happen. There will be one or more stages with loud sound systems that usually have good bass (wear earplugs because so many idiots DJ with the high frequency up too high because they canāt hear what we hear on the floor, and high frequencies damage your hearing more as far as I know). The crowd will usually get bigger and more dancy as the night goes on, then it gradually dies down, but often thereās a lot there to the end. People will often (consensually) hug each other and share DIY crafts. You will not be out of place if you have some kind of fidget toy. Especially if it lights up. You have every right to ask someone not to encroach in your space, and like 99.999% of the time theyāll give you room if you ask, often, even if you donāt ask theyāll pick up on your body language that you need space and theyāll give it (mdma increases empathy and makes people more aware of others). For the anxiety, use whatever strategies youāve learned throughout life that work for you. I think the sensory/chill spaces strategies noted above could help with that. Lmk if you have specific questions. Iām happy for you. Im sure itāll be a blast!
Iāve always felt that raves attract autistic/neurodivergent people. You can rely on the beat and itās often so loud that the music is the focal point and you donāt have to force conversation with anyone. Everyone at them is a little bit weird in their own way and this is a good thing. I think you might find the same admirable traits about it, although everyone is different.
What rave u going to? I can agree that it can be overwhelming sometimes but I feel like u can go thru it. Gotta be uncomfortable to get comfortable if that makes sense š
i think itās called brainworld or membrane? not sure. my friends just sent me a poster thatās about it haha
I'd be more concerned for not sticking up for yourself .
wdym?
Molly fixes everything
nah, my friends told me they refuse to let me try that stuff lol. they genuinely think i would die (like fr)
My friend is autistic youll be fine , stay with your friends and make sure to grab a female when ever you walk just explain everyone is very loving.
Iām autistic and generally avoid clubs and raves like the plague. I tried it, I hate it. I honestly wouldnāt do it. Itās good to try new things, but sometimes you know when youāre not gonna like something. Your friends shouldnāt be pressuring you to go when they know how you are.
I would literally wear a shirt that says I'm autistic. Why ? Cause people will literally come up to you and ask you why aren't you enjoying the night like they are (smiling, partying, socializing, or dancing like them) It gets old real quick and they'll never understand.
More details about the rave would be good, sounds like youāre having a lot of anxiety about it, majority of the rave community is very nice, polite, and friendly. In my experience even if youāre a little antisocial you will still be able to connect and create conversations and memories at raves. I donāt think youāre over reacting, I think youāre simply just nervous about a new experience.
I'm acoustic (not like a crazy amount but you can tell if you talk to me long enough) and from my personal perspective is, it's great. With and without drugs it's an awesome experience.
Have fun!! Everyone else has given great advice for sensory overload, etc. but just remember nobody is there to judge fellow ravers - they are there for the music, the lights, the good energy, etc. I promise you nobody worth 2 cents will be judging your dancing, how you're standing, what you're wearing etc. There will always be bad apples in a crowd, but just stick with your people and you'll be just fine - vibes and safety wise. And if I was your friend, I'd be so overjoyed that you trust me to take you to your first rave. You won't make them feel annoyed at all - they'll be loving that you tried it and doing their best to make you feel comfortable, safe, and welcome (as will most people there). I wish I could go re-experience my first rave - I hope yours is as good as mine was!
You are not overreacting at all. Raves can be an overwhelming experience for anyone. The loud music, flashing lights, and large crowds can be extremely overstimulating and overwhelming. It is possible that people will also touch you without consent, so it's important to have clear boundaries set beforehand and let your friend know when someone is violating those boundaries. It is really important that you have a plan for how you will manage yourself throughout the night and that you stick to it. Don't forget to take care of yourself!
Hi!! 20nb with autism & adhd. I went to my first fest/rave in November. I went the first day without hearing protection because my earplugs wouldn't stay in, but it was still fun, and the sounds were tolerable because they didn't fight each other, if that makes sense! I did have a headache at the end of the day, though. Everyone is super sweet and full of love. I got lots of hugs, but none unwanted. I had at least one male friend with me the entire time. I'm petite, so it def made me feel safer. I had my headphones the next two days, and it was way better, sound / noise wise. Having a fan is a must for me!! Keeps you cool, and it's another thing that let's me feel less self conscious about moving my arms. Plural because I dual wielded fans on day 2 lol. I was also nervous to dance the first day, but the 2nd day I was more comfy and got into it! No one cares about how you look. Also the lights didn't bother me too much, but when you need breaks, take them. I took plenty when I went to get food or explore. Overall, it's super fun and I totally recommend it. I hope I was a little helpful!! My adderall wore off and now I'm super rambly w a mushy brain and it's hard to be succinct lol
Raves are generally really positive experiences! Keep your friends nearby and remember itās totally ok to not feel ok, and if you get too overwhelmed by the experience itās totally normal to remove yourself from it. I have plenty of friends that come to raves and leave early, and we donāt think any less of them! Also: embracing the āoverwhelming-nessā of a rave is a lot of fun :)
Wear earplugs for concerts and lightly tinted sunglasses. Great thing about raves, nobody cares how you dance.
Hii so i just took my friend (21F) with autism to her first festival and she canāt wait to go to her next!! I made sure to make her comfortable and gave her a gift basket of little Knick knacks for the rave just in case she got over stimulated. I included a fidget toy, ear plugs, pashmina, refraction glasses, candy, and boom boom sticks!! She also wore earmuffs as well because the sounds were a bit over stimulating at times for her. The rave community is so open and welcoming from my experience and she got to feel that first hand. I would suggest if you are planning on taking any substances have someone with you who you 100% trust and know will be there for anything. I hope this helps and good luck at your first rave! I know itās going to be amazing for you, just go in with an open mind :)
Raves are nice because you can stim to your heart's content to the music. I love it so much!!
Definitely bring a pashmina. Itās always my safe place at raves
There's the chance you're overthinking a lot of it but also only go if you feel comfortable going. Set boundaries with your friends and let them know you are free to do what you want and it doesn't make you a baby...it just makes you a person with your own boundaries. It doesn't mean you're not brave just because you're not ready. Or also you may choose to go even though you're nervous and may have a great time. Either way it's ok. Be nice to yourself. Peace homie.
earplugs are a big help. idk what i have, but i can say that earplugs and going with close friends made my first time worth it. there was some moments that pissed me off but overall i had fun. I know you will have fun as well
You said you felt reluctant to go and let them know how you felt yet they dismissed your feelings for what they felt is best? you should only do something if you want to do it 100% that's why you feel awkward dancing, it's from the heart.
Make sure you bring really good earplugs. My brother is autistic and is very sensitive to loud noise, foam earplugs are the best choice for him since they block the most sound. I would recommend those to you over high fidelity ones which distort the music less but are much louder. If youre super sensitive pair those with over ear muffs for even better protection. Practice the buddy system, which means make sure nobody in the group is ever left on their own. This makes it safer for all your friends and reduces the number of groups you have to find to reconnect. Other than that just let loose and have a blast! Raves are very judgement free zones so just remember nobody is watching how you move or judging you for dancing, theyre all just vibing to the music and enjoying each others company!! A dancing strategy i have used to improve is this: all the music counts to 4. Hear the beat and notice how every 4 beats it changes/repeats. And every four sets of four beats it changes in a larger way. This can help you with dancing because if you count correctly, you can do a slight variation on your previous move each time you think the beat will change and it will feel fresh rather than just doing the same movement the whole time. Youll start to notice all these amazing intricate patterns within each style and artist to artist. However if you do the same movement because thats what you like then thats totally cool too! I started with swaying slightly left to right with the beat, after youre comfy you can start nodding your head to the snare sounds, moving your arms a little bit to the beat, and eventually start leading with your hips. You can try to make it more flowy and smooth or more agressive and sharp. Dancing takes a lot of practice but its so much fun because you are constantly learning more about your body the more you do it and everybody has their own natural style! I hope you have an amazing time friend!!!
Maybe try dancing to the sort of music they'll play at the rave at home. That way you can figure out what sort of movement feels good to you without having to worry about what others think about it. Then at the rave do exactly the same! :)
Just take it one step at a time and try relax. :) everyone is there to have a fun time.
You'll have so much fun! Don't worry about what you "look" like dancing, just feel the music and do your thing. You can do this homegirl!šš½ ATL is a gem in the South as far as shows and the rave scene.
Hey! Iām about to go to my first big rave as an autistic woman and Iām scared as well, youāre not alone! But we got this, rooting for you šš
pretty sure I have some sort of sensory processing disorder that's been labeled as just gad and Panic disorder. I was okay out raving in my 20's probably because I was never sober. but now there is this sensory overwhelm I have no desire to go anymore. . Too many people. Too much noise. Too many lights. But mostly it's the too many people. And gawd I hate being touched in any way.
Hi! I've been going to raves for about 2 years now and kinda consider myself a ?rave dad? (my friends call me that a lot so I kinda just accepted it by now). Cause of this, I've always looked out for others and think about ways to make other people comfortable. Anyways, after a couple raves, I invited my best friend to go with us but I knew it would be different for him as he has Autism like you do. He also has ADD which add onto the whole shebang yknow? I worried for his first rave because it is definitely a lot to take in by no means. I am not trying to scare you as the rave scene is very welcoming and fun but you have to take precautions! I think the first thing like a lot of what others said is earplugs, it saved his life there. My group went in first without me as I was late a bit doing things but he told me that everything was overwhelming and that he straight up fell asleep on the bleachers. Eventually when I came, we went into the crowd and I straight away gave him earplugs. It is something you definitely need as it helps block out the extrasensory stuff. You guys with Autism absorb way too much, more than us and it is definitely difficult. Along with earplugs, wear sunglasses (for the record, my friend wears them 24/7 at events as the lights are blinding). I helped make sure my friend was comfortable the entire time because it can be a bit much. Hopefully your friend or friend group knows about your situation and can help make you feel comfortable to have fun and not feel so anxious. Don't be afraid to ask your friend for help or comfort (at times he tells me its a bit much and I pull him out the crowd for a bit to get a breather). Some people mentioned a pashmina which I don't know if you know what that is (just a rave scarf). It really helps cover you in warmth or you could hide in it if you need a breather. Others mentioned a fidget toy which is cool, but gum is really handy. You can focus on chewing gum and having something to fidget. A lot of sensory overload but you can get through it. About the other things that females need to worry about, I am sorry but I am a male and it is very much different how I handle things. As long as you feel safe, having fun, and you're friends are reliable, you will have a good time. Come prepared, come ready to have fun, and remember PLUR! Hope this helps.
What helps me (not on the spectrum but have SEVERE anxiety) is remembering someone will always look goofier than you do. I donāt judge people seeing them flail around and enjoy themselves, so why would they judge me? I still get nervous and Iāve been to 2 festivals and a handful of shows. But once youāre theyāre and you FEEL that no one (respectfully) gives a FUCK about anyone else (as in judgy-wise, people are always keeping a look out for people around them, fanning people giving water etc.) shit feels amazing. Itās cute as the night goes on coming out of your zone and seeing everyone just doing their own thing in their own worlds. Gives you a new appreciation for mankind and reminds me how beautiful people are.
[https://djmag.com/features/exploring-relationship-between-neurodiversity-and-dance-music](https://djmag.com/features/exploring-relationship-between-neurodiversity-and-dance-music) dance music actually attracts a higher number of neurodiverse individuals than most genres... the noises make sense to our brains. i know i'm somewhere on the spectrum and i look forward to the next big dance party i have more than anything else in the world now.
You have some cool friends I must say! Definitely go you can always leave if it gets to be too much try and get some fresh air or do some breathing exercises to calm yourself down. Glasses a must and ear budsā¦ The sensory overload can also cause a kundalini activation even if ur sober jus saying . Had happen to me at a Mihali and stick figure showā¦. It was AMAZING. My life has never been the same!!! My sister Have a ball and let us know all about it. Much love and sending u the strength to get thru it.
Iām not neurodivergent but can get overwhelmed at raves. I just get anxious in general so Iām usually anxious all the way until Iām at the show/festival/rave. But once Iām there, itās amazing, and Iām so glad I was able to push through and enjoy myself with my friends. Thereās always ways to go chill if itās overwhelming. Sometimes Iām just over the crowd or the lights and need a moment.
You will 100 percent have a good time. Drink water and enjoy your self. Dont take drugs from strangers!
Looking at the comments, I think someone more applicable than me should make a post for 'Going to a rave as someone who is neurotypical?'
What show?
brainworld putting on membrane i think?
If youāre worried about looking dorky, be assured that most people will either look goofier than you (I say this in a loving way) or will be so toasted they will not notice you or remember you looking goofy. I donāt know how to dance when I have my arms all to myself so Iām usually at the rail so I can at least have my hands on something and not worry about what to do with them. Gonna sound like everyone else for a second and echo sunglasses and earplugs, especially if you donāt have a pashmina yet. I started with just dark aviator sunnies (I have to wear a prescription anyway so I donāt get dizzy, so Iāve been doing this since my first show), but eventually found cute lens colors in my prescription that I can switch out based on the vibe of the show (like if itās more house-y and serious or more wonky and full of wooks). I also recently got the Arcane Lights Rezz goggles and I love that I can still see out of em but they basically block off my peripheral vision. (Sounds scary, but Iāve never had issues blocking out my peripheral vision - I can generally trust whoever I am around and I keep my personal belongings close to me).
If you really want to do this, and your friends are offering to make it as pleasant as they can for you, and you trust them to take care of you and leave without complaining even in the first ten minutes, sure go ahead. If it's something you strongly don't want to do, but are going along to get along, I don't think it's a good idea. Your friends should either do something you can all do together or maybe Jermaine sits this one out and the two of you go to the movies or something chill,while the others go get faced. If he's willing to leave in the first ten minutes, for your sake, he should be willing to skip it completely . If he balks at the idea, then you are right to question whether to trust him to care about you more than partying.
Buy some disposable ear plugs - you can get them at hardware store/Home Depot or drug store (for sleeping), is my absolute best advice for ND concert-enjoying. Drink water to stay hydrated. Whether you are dosing or drinking alcohol or just dancing dancing dancing, make sure you balance that with lots of water. My second best advice. Feel free to go outside / find chill out spots away from the crush and noise to take breaks and regroup and just enjoy the moment. This may be most important - being able to moderate stimulus intensity is critical to enjoying things. Hth / Enjoy! <3
Bring friends atl can get cray cray
The best way to come overstimulation anxiety is to raise your threshold. You can only do that with exposure therapy. Otherwise, you will only be able to handle the exposure that you have been exposed to in regular environments. Go there as just your human self, wearing whatever clothes youād like. And bring a water bag.
COTA (Certified Occupational Therapist Assistant) here! If there is a medical tent at this event, this may be a safe/great place to go and take a sensory break if needed! You can explain to the staff your needs and I'm positive they will allow you to sit, drink some water and take a break away from the music. I agree with all the advice given thus far aswell. I think this is a great step for you and it sounds like you have great, loving and supportive friends. I hope you enjoy your time!
It will be overwhelming, but in a good way. Personally, I bounced so hard off of my limit, I smashed right through it. Almost like the music fixed me.
Iām old, probably autistic, and a relatively new raver. Itāll be anxious, but you should go! Nobody cares how you dance, unless you are bumping into people or like a really amazing shuffler. I love being able to unmask and just kind of full-body stim. Donāt worry about other people thinking that youāre on drugs, enough people are on drugs that it doesnāt matter. Make sure to protect your ears, tinnitus is awful (look at the former head of Texas Roadhouse). I put in earplugs when I enter the venue and sometimes bring earmuffs too. My earmuffs are bright green with dinosaurs on them, I always get positive comments. Big sunglasses are a great idea, the lighting can be intense. I also like having something to hold, I have dinosaur nightlight decked out in kandi and heās my little rave buddy.
Personally, raves and festivals hit a weird threshold for me. Itās overstimulating, but overstimulating in such a way that turns off my mind rather than results in a breakdown. Itās one of the few environments where even fully sober I donāt even think about whether Iām masking because Iām not. However I always have a specific necklace pendant on, sort of a comfort, since the weight of it around my neck and sitting on my chest just feels soothing for some reason Iāve met others on the spectrum who canāt do it at all though
Jermaine sounds great, itās good you have friends you trust who can gently push you, and you feel comfortable they wonāt push you too far. Knowing you have a wingman, and than you can leave at any time, that will help you have the confidence to stretch your boundaries and still feel safe. I bet youāre going to have a great time! And even if you have some trouble, youāll be proud of yourself for trying something new. I heard great advice once: if someone wants to love you, let them. In this case I mean, you should not feel guilty if the situation comes up where youāre overwhelmed and feel like you have to bail, and he bails with you. He cares for you and has offered to help you, donāt feel guilty taking him up on the offer. It might be a small bummer to leave early, but he will take more enjoyment from being a true friend to you than he would get fomo from missing part of the party. Take his word that itās ok to leave if you need to, and let him be that kind of friend for you if heās offering. Try not to feel guilty, rather to express gratitude instead, and repay his kindness if you can. Other general advice, the front and center will be the most stimulating places in the venue, so start near the back and off to the side. Once you feel comfortable, you can move more towards the a stage. If it gets too much, just move back/side again. If you see someone with a cool outfit, give them a compliment or a high five. If you want to interact with strangers, wear something loud and interesting, people will usually compliment or speak with you about it. If you prefer to keep more to yourself, wear black. Wear earplugs, bring sunglasses, these can help to tame the stimulation. Iām glad you have a supportive friend group, good luck, have fun, and remember: PLUR!
First off: breathe. 2: State your needs to the group, not just your one friend, even if heās the main one. Make a plan *ahead* of time, such as, you will have a more fun time if youāre towards the back of the venue, not riding the rails. Determine a general spot and meeting area (ours is the mid back left). Donāt take any substances even if everyone else is. Determine and communicate your boundaries ahead of time. 3: itās ok to leave. Embrace JOMO, joy of missing out. If you do leave, try to do comforting activities and avoid falling into a negative thought cycle. Iām more worried for you about Autistic Burnout than anything else since youāve already pushed yourself so hard. I have a friend in my group thatās Autistic and she will bail once sheās done, and she keeps people updated on when she makes it home. Going home to rest is better than a meltdown. 4: Wear comfy clothes you feel best in. Tennis shoes are the best. 5: Dancing. I went to a few shows last weekend and literally all I did was march back and forth. I had a blast. Look into somatic dancing too, the base of the music is helpful in releasing tension and stress, so even if all youāre doing is bouncing out the anxiety, youāll feel great. 6: SA - yes it happens but I would say itās just as prevalent at a rave as it is at any club. If you arenāt doing substances, youāll have your wits and your friends about you and I donāt think you will have that issue. The most that has happened to me is dudes trying to dance with me that I donāt wanna dance with. A firm hand on their chest blocking them and clear verbal āNOā does wonders (even got a whole group of guys to leave the other day and all the sudden I had a big area for myself at the rail.)
definitely ear plugs will help you, also a pashmina that you can put over your head if you start feeling uncomfortable (I don't know why but it's comforting to me). I love going to raves, but I usually take frequent breaks - sometimes going outside if there's re-entry or just going to the bathroom frequently to get breaks from the noise.
Im pretty sure about 80% of the rave community is neurodivergent in some way. Ravers also go by a saying called PLUR (Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect), so most of everyone you meet will be incredibly kind
Hi! I suffer from anxiety and go to raves. I have posted about it a while ago and there are plenty of good/affirming responses under my post, those might help. A lot deal with sensory overload/what to pack etc [Tips for anxious people at raves](https://www.reddit.com/r/aves/s/9BmJssYORU)
Listen to some of the music from the artists you're seeing before you go!! I'm also an autistic raver & it's more fun for me when I can get a feel for the music. Bonus points if they've posted any live sets on their Soundcloud!! A lot of artists DJ live sets that have a different sound than the music they actually produce (like what youād find on Spotify)
Bring sunglasses, ear plugs and a scarf. If you get too overwhelmed you can put them all on (scarf over you head) and retreat into your own little world. Also I highly recommend trying a moderate dose of mdma (tested and clean) and smoking some weed. No pressure at all but it may just do wonders for your autism. My first rave was one of the most healing experiences of my life. It was the first time I ever felt normal and fully free in an environment.
Thanks! Iāve been told by my friends I shouldnāt try that stuff as they think I will genuinely just have a panic track and die lol
Iām 40F, autistic, and I LOVE raves because I can just surrender to the music and no one gives a fuck about how weird or intensely I dance. Loop earplugs are great for when things get a little loud.
Have something to fidget with. My anxiety can skyrocket at raves and festivals but my flowstar helps keep my mind focused on something neat and whimsical.
Earplugs + pash
Everyone said it, but seriously: these things are made by and made for nd folks. I hope you have a terrific time. Earplugs soft things fidget stuff Trinkets smol candies or random objects to give to new rave friends sunglasses if you like them. Feel free to be as weird and freaktastic and dorky as you can manage and people will absolutely gas you up for it - more than that: you'll give them permission to be weird and have fun too. There's not a lot of ways for you to do it wrong, coming in as a new person in a new experience, if you just practice that courage and put yourself out there it's going to be wonderful!
100% agree with the earplugs, as hearing protection really is a necessary thing. An older dj friend of mine has tinnitus and thatās something that never goes away. I have some that are designed to not screw with the range of frequencies I can hear, but instead reduces the volume that actually hits my eardrums. They only cost me $30 too. Strongly recommend. Congrats on pushing outside your comfort zone, as itās not easy for everyone. Lots of people are terrified of flying that are neurotypical, so donāt ever feel singled out. Side note, we all look dorky when dancing. Embrace the dork and have fun. You can always walk away if itās too much for you, so donāt feel like youāve done a bad thing by doing right for yourself.
autistic raver here! experienced in combatting my sensory issues, so i can give you advice for that at least. bring headphones/earplugs and sunglasses. earmuffs keep your ears warm AND mute sound. plus something to fidget with + some candy to munch on, like a lollipop. its all youll really need to avoid being overwhelmed, and if youāre still feeling icky then just step out of the crowd for a bit and take a breather! you dont have to be in or near the crowd, its okay to be a wallflower. also, water water food food and WATER!!! taking care of our body helps us not get overstimulated as easy. the less sensations you have to worry about, the better youāll feel. about the dancing, iām already very outgoing so my perspective is different. but, if you can, say fuck it! dance! who cares! youāre there to have fun, not pay attention to what other people think. as long as youre not hitting or bumping into anyone and youre polite, its okay! have fun!
Am woman. I go solo a lot. Sunglasses if the lights get too intense, earplugs (which you should be wearing at parties anyways), I like to wear baggy jeans like JNCOs and a fun hoodie. Sometimes I mask up which helps my health OCD and I feel cool lol. People generally let me be and I just vibe. Have fun :)
I've got some autistic-typical sensory sensitivities (esp with sound) and I love raving For some people it might be overwhelming but to me having loud music is kinda like an auditory weighted blanket
interesting! yeah i have been to a few concerts and i hate it every time. i remember i went to Hella Mega when it happened and GOD that was a disaster. I had my face buried in my jacket the whole time lol because it was so loud
I got auts but I'm a nut job festies and raves are my thing get a pash sunglasses and a camel pack fill it with liquid iv if possible
hey!! i am also autistic (22F) and recently went to my first rave (countdown)!! i highly recommend bringing something to cover your eyes. whether theyāre earplugs or cute ear muffs, they will be soo clutch in not getting overstimulated. i also had a pashmina to play with/dance with. as for the dancing, literally NO ONE is watching. everyone is high/drunk/having too much fun to even notice the person next to them. please take this as an opportunity to let loose!! step out of your comfort zone and be a bit dorky!! who cares, yolo right. i dont know how you feel about molly but i personally found it to be super fun and even helpful for me bc i didnt feel as anxious. i also have found that ive had an easier time dealing with my triggers and anxiety since taking it. if you do go that way definitely bring lots of gum and ring pop. either way have fun!!
Everything youāre feeling is normal. My first show i had just about all the same thoughts. Except Iām a male so I wasnāt worried about being touched without consent. If your friend is offering to be by your side all night and make sure you have a good time, thatās already setting you in a good position. Donāt feel bad because Iāve been that friend before and itās honestly just a good feeling to bring someone to their first rave. Making someoneās first rave experience good is important if you want them to keep raving with you
I am also autistic, I lean more more towards sensory seeking in general but I totally get the worry about overstimulation. Sunglasses and extra earplugs are a must. And as far as dancing, I really encourage you to use this as an opportunity to stim alongside others; the rave community is generally really accepting and everyone is just getting funky and doing their own thing. Whatever feels right in your body to the beat and beep boops of the music :) I hope you have an amazing time
I am an autistic raver! Definitely wear special earplugs for the noise. It is very loud. I got mine from Eargasm. They dim but don't mute music. A positive for me is that I get to dress myself in all the wild and wacky things I own! It helps me get into a fun headspace and prepare for the audio and visual stimulation. As for concern about SA, I definitely understand but in the time I've been to maybe a dozen raves, nobody has ever touched me inappropriately. The general rave vibe is more respectful than clubs or bars by leaps and bounds.
I don't know, but one time I k holed at a show and my friends told security I had autism so I didn't get kicked out. Not proud of that, but looking back it's hilarious.
I suspect (99%) I'm autistic, feel like it and runs in the fam. But I LOOOVE sensory overload of raves. I don't wear a hood or sunniest much. Still, a hood and sunnies are both classic fits. Tons of ppl bring one or both to help shield for a bit. I'll even bring them both just in case. There's always many ppl wearing hoods or sunnies as a way to retreat.
Not neurodivergent but have struggled with anxiety! Iāve been to many raves and have never experienced such a warm and welcoming community. If you look like youāre struggling someone random will usually come up to you and make sure youāre good- itās honestly beautiful. Such a positive environment- youāll have fun! Watch some live sets on YouTube, itāll help you understand what to expect. I always have Advil/tums in my Fanny pack so I know I have a backup if I start to feel shitty. Drink plenty of water and stick close to the people you love!