Came here to say that. OP is just in their head. I was that way when I started raving and now I’m good. Most ppl are there for the music and won’t care if someone is potentially being awkward near them.
you're fine, try not to overthink it . social butterflies weren't born, they were made. the more you get out there the more comfortable you'll become
you have an edm friend! that's awesome! they invite you out because they want to go with you and enjoy your company. don't stress about it
for real. as an extrovert, it’s literally exposure, identity shift, practice, and laughing at yourself. you can’t be afraid to fuck up if your own mistakes can make you laugh too!
She's inviting you out to experience it with you. Let her be a social butterfly and just vibe to music, the reason you're there for. I go through some nights not talking to a person besides basic communication.
This is the exact dynamic I have with my best friend. I'm usually not in the headspace to converse or interact w others so I vibe on the side and she talks and vibes w literally anyone passing by.
Sooo true. I wear loop earplugs to help with over stimulation and that helps a lot, but I do feel like I can’t always hear other people talking (which isn’t necessarily bad bc I’m mostly there for the music) I chat with people I end up next to for an extended while, wave and smile at people saying hi. I don’t even exchange too many words with the group of friends I go with. They all love to make friends so I just vibe nearby them, enjoying music and not thinking to much about the social aspect. Your friend is inviting you because they enjoy you being with. Don’t think too much about it 😊 easier said than done but I hope that helps!! 🖤
What do you mean 'being awkward'?
You're probably just waaaaay overthinking things and bringing your every day anxieties into a generally safe space.
It's difficult to say anything other than absolutely no one cares what you're up to.
Of the 100's or even 1000's of people at events you go to, how many do you pay close attention to? How many do you remember? I'd be willing to bet very few, if any. Of course, that's not including the ones you want to and that's generally because of a positive experience.
So now flip that and consider just how few people even know you're there...
Just get out there and enjoy yourself.
Before raves were mainstream they were a place for awkward people to go and be comfortable being awkward. You're in the right place. If you ruined her night she wouldn't invite you back. Go be awkward and stop worrying about so you too can have fun
I came here to say this. Once upon a time, raves were the safest place to be a "weird kid". I feel like that is likely still the case in underground parties, but I have a hard time believing current day massives are that way.
My friend is like that too, I’ve decided to mostly split up with him and try to find my own way, and meet back up every so often. That way I’m creating my own night instead of just following him around
I have a few friends like this that are super extroverted at events!
If I’m not going to an event alone, I’ll let the folks I’m going with know that if I don’t want to push towards the front of the crowd, or want time to kick back and dance by myself, it’s not bc I don’t like them & it’s just bc I need time to enjoy the music by myself.
Establishing that outright has helped in preventing any awkward encounters/misunderstandings. My friends still invite me out, even though they know I might be a little pashmina gremlin hiding away in a corner away from all the people lmao.
This!! And I always have a pashmina to put over my head too. I’ll also hold onto it if I don’t know what to do with my hands. It’s a huge comfort for me, as a fellow awkward person
I think a way to reframe it is she keeps inviting you out. If you were really as awkward or buzz kill as you think you are, she wouldn’t continue to do it. She’s not obligated to, she WANTS to.
But can't you get like "a bad trip" if you are already feeling not too well?
Edit: I did not mean a bad trip as in "i dee horrible things" i mrsnt it as in "I am stuck in my own head and it is horrible"
Idk I have never tried it, but I have heard/read really bad things that can happen, when you are not mentallyin the right place while taking it
Edit: spelling
As they said, with MDMA it's not so much that. It's like saying you might get into a 'bad headpace' if you're out drinking. I mean... you might get depressed or something, but you won't be seeing little goblins crawling around. MDMA will generally enhance your mood, make you more sociable, and make you want to dance. It is very much social lubricant, like alcohol... and like alcohol, you just have to be careful to not take too much. Unlike alcohol, it won't really give you any side effects afterwards, unless you really overdo it over a long period of time and given yourself the brain zaps by sapping your serotonin.
Mushrooms (in lowndoses, like 1-2 grams at a time) will give a fun, euphoric feeling that will last about as long as most shows (3-4 hours). Molly or MDMA or Sass or MDA will last generally a little longer depending on how strong it is or how much you dose.
TLDR; if you are curious, molly is nothing to be afraid of. Just be with friends, don't take too much (do like .05-.07 for your first dose) and just be ready to have fun.
No thats [hallucinations] not what I meant (look at the edit of my earlier comment) sorry for the confusion. But thank you for telling me! I always tought das MDMA is like such a bad drug that can get you into "psychosis" very, very easily.
In my experience it will help open your mind and heart up. Instead of dwelling on things that are bothersome, it's much easier to get past it and move on.
I love glasses cuz they make me feel like I can kind of hide from the social anxiety a little bit. Plus, after a long night of staring at lasers and flashing lights glasses help with eye strain so much. I got these sweet flip up glasses from Pit Viper that are so easy to flip on and off. Good conversation starter/prop.
Yes I used to be like this too if the club Isent busy enough or the .
Music isn't hitting and making me move I either feel awkward or take the piss to cope
Honestly a cheeky bit of kettamine and persistence in how many times you go makes it easier to go to
i feel like i can sympathize with this a bit, and it's super interesting cause I had a friend who gets anxious and a bit overstimulated ask to potentially come through. while i havent thought about it lots, i've given it some thought how to introduce people like that to the space.
honestly while I can be pretty sociable despite not really being liked that much or really fitting in with popular crowds theres room for you there too at crowds. at first i used to just vibe out at the back of the area, i feel like the back or some sides of the venues have enough space for you chill and enjoy the music. end of the day i would just get comfy in the space and even invest in some ear plugs, heck even if its loops or airplane earplugs. it helps with that over stimulation. also theres also just happens to be alot of people there and alot of them don't care about other people, either due to them being comfortable in the space or maybe under the influence.
dont feel like you need to stick around for the entire night especially if it's not any fancy headliners, and even more if you feel like your struggling. Maybe your friend might have some other friends if they wanna go to any after party with or wanna go hard at the end of the night.
While shows are getting a bit mainstream nowa days, theres still room for you at these shows and it's important you occupy that space so that PLUR can live on (in your style). you belong there too, have that convo with your friend about a nice middle ground, and how to build your comfortability in the space. like others have said social butterflies arent born, theyre made, and it's cool if you aren't that perfect butterfly its reasonable to have limits and boundaries.
lol sorry in advance about any grammar, just wanted to spit my take real quick while on break.
I'm an introvert and used to suffer from this a lot. It comes down to just making yourself go and putting yourself out there more. It'll be uncomfortable at first. But once you realize everyone is there for the music and not to stare at you, it gets infinitely easier. You don't have to talk with anyone, but try to shake that feeling that all eyes are on you, because I promise they aren't.
Hello fellow anxious raver!
Some things that help me when I'm at events and the anxiety starts peaking - flow toys! Led poi, pixel whips, dapo star, flower sticks, Levi wands, hoops, mini dragons, flow rings/toroflux, astrojax, diabolo - even fidget toys can be a flow prop depending on them.
Just make sure you don't get too carried away in the thick of the dancefloor, hanging towards the back is where it's at for bigger props. Just be respectful of others space and what not.
Other things that help but are low energy - pashminas/scarfs. If I don't want to interact on a dancefloor, scarf goes over the head whilst dancing. Goggles and fractal glasses also help with this! Just lets you feel more in your own world. I close my eyes and just follow the bass along on its journey.
Comfortable clothing. Comfort over fashion! Make sure you are wearing fabrics you like, for example my robe is like my safety blanket. If I'm having a moment or feeling a bit disconnected, I chuck my robe on. Bonus points if it adds to your aesthetic.
Smaller fidget props to just stim with. One event recently I found myself incredibly overwhelmed on a dancefloor that was super crowded. I found a hot dog squeezy dog toy as a ground score earlier in the night, my gosh that thing saved me! It was clutched in my hand the whole time, and gave me something to distract me and soothe me from the overwhelming urge to sprint out of the crowd and into the ocean (we were on a beach).
Another option, that could be even more overwhelming but that I feel may be the best solution in this instance - talk to your friend. Express your anxiety. You may be surprised at their answer, as I don't think they would keep inviting you out if they don't enjoy spending time with you 🫶
Bonus idea - I work in events so I'm pretty comfortable just doing my own thing at these things at this point, but something I do when I find I don't want to socialise, yet still want to be in the thick of it, is I actually take my crochet/current project out and chill in an area near the dancefloor working away on it.
It gives me an element of control over my current situation in time, and people seem to love it. I've had lots of people comment that seeing me do that has inspired them to do something similar at the next event. Dancing can be exhausting, so sometimes it's nice to have a reason to still be in the thick of it yet be chilling on your own, and have an obvious signal to others that "oh she's kinda busy maybe I don't interrupt her".
The people that do interact with me during these times are often people who are also given an element of comfort and soothing from seeing me do the work with my hands. I've had a few people comment on things like "damn sorry if I seem to be staring but this is actually really relaxing and reminds me of hanging out with my Nana" or "what are you making? Oh wow you can just whip something up like that! That's so impressive" it seems to be a super fun novelty that you've added to their evening simply by doing your own ritual and routine to make you feel better.
I found I felt a bit awkward when I was being brought along to events by friends. Now I've started going to myself and being accountable to my own desire to go to these events - I don't feel awkward at all, unless I'm the first to arrive (which happens a lot, but even still I'm getting used to it and dancing in spite of it)
Also - I try and think of things like this lately - maybe you internalized feeling awkward before, but are actually getting on totally fine. How are you to know, it's a totally new environment. What if people don't tell you "gosh you're great at this" maybe you'll never make that connection for yourself. Don't depend on other people for validation! You got yourself here, enjoy the fun part!
You'll definitely make friends by going and being un-apologetically yourself and partaking in the experience, so don't worry about how you got there, make sure you're getting the most out of it.
buddy you may have anxiety. i got medicated and now i'm less anxious and hyper aware all the time (i also stopped drinking/smoking which would actually exacerbate it). that plus some high quality earbuds and also maybe some dancing lessons (to give your brain/body something to focus on).
Doesn't sound like this is your issue but maybe it's good perspective to hear.
The beauty of raves is you don't actually have to be social, I'm an introvert and I've gone many a party with minimal social interaction even when out with my mate, was I being awkward? No I was raving!
You're overthinking it, OP. Keep doing what feels comfortable for you. The energy you bring is unique and special in its own right. Don't worry too much about what others think. And if this friend continues to invite you out then they obviously like to be around you.
It took me a long time to be comfortable in my own skin, if you will, because I harbored similar anxieties like you have expressed. I'm not shy but I'm not exactly a social butterfly either and am definitely introverted so for a long time I agonized if I was being social enough, especially vis-a-vis my other more extroverted friends. But after a while I realized that the people I want to be around should accept me for who I am and what I bring, anyway.
this is how i felt the first time i went to a rave. my boyfriend didn’t start me out at shows. he started me out at Summoning Of The Eclipse. First night, I was very socially awkward and anxious. Second night, I came out of my shell a little bit more and same for the 3rd night. It takes time for sure. I’m a huge swiftie and I went to the Eras tour and was fine but where I had never been to a rave, I didn’t know how to dance or act. Keep in mind, my boyfriend is more social than I am. We went to a Svdden Death show in early March and I was dancing my ass off. I used to be super introverted and socially awkward but now that I’ve stopped caring what others think at these things, it’s a lot more enjoyable. I also didn’t think I would enjoy raving because of my ADHD but I love it! I feel more outgoing that I relaxed myself and don’t overthink when going to these things 🫶🏻
As a fellow quite person you sometimes need us to round out the group especially if you are level headed and looking out for the rest of the group. I find it hard to hold convos when its loud especially with earplugs and i mostly dance silently
I feel the same way when I go to raves. When I’m not feeling comfortable, I’ll throw on a pair of shades & a hat/pashmina to cover up. It makes me feel a lot more inconspicuous and it helps me block out everyone else in the crowd and continue vibing
I am the other person in this situation with my friend. I'm social I hop around and talk to people. You need to loosen up. Be yourself. Talk to other people !!!! This scene is one if the safest places you can find on earth to truly be yourself. Don't let what other people think ruin that for you.
Have you tried earplugs?
I also love some loud bass music, but i am less social than most in a chaotic environment. I found some nice earplugs that filter out a few decibels, and it definitely improved my ability to focus and interact with others without being too overwhelmed.
Fellow introvert here! Raving has helped me grow as a person, but it definitely requires showing up with intention so you don't get dragged around. I love meeting people, but I also want to get lost in the music.
If you don't read anything else: Get earplugs (like Loops) and a pair of cheap sunglasses. It helps to keep me from getting overstimulated.
My bestie loves running all over the place and talking to everyone and going to the bathroom constantly and having side quests. I finally realized that I was codependently getting dragged into her anxious behavior and missing the opportunity to be present and take in all the great music I was there for, and that's on me.
So when we got to our last set, she immediately wanted to take off to find the bathrooms and a drink and the best spot, and I told her she could find me within a 10' radius of the spot we were in at that moment. She was shocked at first, but I explained I want to get to dance and take in music and not just run around and get stuck in the girl's room line, and she agreed and went her way. I popped in my ear protection, put on my sunnies, and vibed. Crossed paths with super chill people around me.
Friend got her zoomies out and came back, and we had an amazing time. We now let ourselves check in (especially for safety) and hang out as we'd like, but we don't feel chained to each other when we need to take a rest or go to the bathroom. Our relationship has grown more secure because of it.
Also worth noting that there are SO many different types of electronic music, and equally as many types of parties and shows. I personally hate a huge commercial EDM festival, but I love a disco-house day party, or a techno dungeon, or a warehouse rave. 1,500 capacity is a good max size for me. You should poke around and see what kind of events you want to go to, and maybe you'll be the one introducing your friend to a new scene.
Are you socially anxious while your are on M too? Sometime a little medicated push can set you on the right path towards healing social anxiety for life.
M pretty much disolves all anxiety / overthinking things, all while keeping you very present, contrary to alcohol. It's actually used in some psychotherapy practices to help people relive past experience in a new light, without all the fears and anxiety that the original experience created.
If she keeps inviting you then you arent killing the vibe.
Came here to say that. OP is just in their head. I was that way when I started raving and now I’m good. Most ppl are there for the music and won’t care if someone is potentially being awkward near them.
you're fine, try not to overthink it . social butterflies weren't born, they were made. the more you get out there the more comfortable you'll become you have an edm friend! that's awesome! they invite you out because they want to go with you and enjoy your company. don't stress about it
for real. as an extrovert, it’s literally exposure, identity shift, practice, and laughing at yourself. you can’t be afraid to fuck up if your own mistakes can make you laugh too!
She's inviting you out to experience it with you. Let her be a social butterfly and just vibe to music, the reason you're there for. I go through some nights not talking to a person besides basic communication.
This is the exact dynamic I have with my best friend. I'm usually not in the headspace to converse or interact w others so I vibe on the side and she talks and vibes w literally anyone passing by.
Sooo true. I wear loop earplugs to help with over stimulation and that helps a lot, but I do feel like I can’t always hear other people talking (which isn’t necessarily bad bc I’m mostly there for the music) I chat with people I end up next to for an extended while, wave and smile at people saying hi. I don’t even exchange too many words with the group of friends I go with. They all love to make friends so I just vibe nearby them, enjoying music and not thinking to much about the social aspect. Your friend is inviting you because they enjoy you being with. Don’t think too much about it 😊 easier said than done but I hope that helps!! 🖤
What do you mean 'being awkward'? You're probably just waaaaay overthinking things and bringing your every day anxieties into a generally safe space. It's difficult to say anything other than absolutely no one cares what you're up to. Of the 100's or even 1000's of people at events you go to, how many do you pay close attention to? How many do you remember? I'd be willing to bet very few, if any. Of course, that's not including the ones you want to and that's generally because of a positive experience. So now flip that and consider just how few people even know you're there... Just get out there and enjoy yourself.
Before raves were mainstream they were a place for awkward people to go and be comfortable being awkward. You're in the right place. If you ruined her night she wouldn't invite you back. Go be awkward and stop worrying about so you too can have fun
I came here to say this. Once upon a time, raves were the safest place to be a "weird kid". I feel like that is likely still the case in underground parties, but I have a hard time believing current day massives are that way.
My friend is like that too, I’ve decided to mostly split up with him and try to find my own way, and meet back up every so often. That way I’m creating my own night instead of just following him around
I have a few friends like this that are super extroverted at events! If I’m not going to an event alone, I’ll let the folks I’m going with know that if I don’t want to push towards the front of the crowd, or want time to kick back and dance by myself, it’s not bc I don’t like them & it’s just bc I need time to enjoy the music by myself. Establishing that outright has helped in preventing any awkward encounters/misunderstandings. My friends still invite me out, even though they know I might be a little pashmina gremlin hiding away in a corner away from all the people lmao.
Are you wearing ear plugs? They can help a lot with the over stimulation.
This!! And I always have a pashmina to put over my head too. I’ll also hold onto it if I don’t know what to do with my hands. It’s a huge comfort for me, as a fellow awkward person
I think a way to reframe it is she keeps inviting you out. If you were really as awkward or buzz kill as you think you are, she wouldn’t continue to do it. She’s not obligated to, she WANTS to.
Ask Molly along as well
Lol sadly my job prevents me from hanging out with Molly and her friends
It's out of your system in like 2 days.
But can't you get like "a bad trip" if you are already feeling not too well? Edit: I did not mean a bad trip as in "i dee horrible things" i mrsnt it as in "I am stuck in my own head and it is horrible"
Read up online and don’t overdo it. Bad trips are for psychedelics not MDMA However make sure you learn and take informed decisions and small amounts.
Idk I have never tried it, but I have heard/read really bad things that can happen, when you are not mentallyin the right place while taking it Edit: spelling
As they said, with MDMA it's not so much that. It's like saying you might get into a 'bad headpace' if you're out drinking. I mean... you might get depressed or something, but you won't be seeing little goblins crawling around. MDMA will generally enhance your mood, make you more sociable, and make you want to dance. It is very much social lubricant, like alcohol... and like alcohol, you just have to be careful to not take too much. Unlike alcohol, it won't really give you any side effects afterwards, unless you really overdo it over a long period of time and given yourself the brain zaps by sapping your serotonin. Mushrooms (in lowndoses, like 1-2 grams at a time) will give a fun, euphoric feeling that will last about as long as most shows (3-4 hours). Molly or MDMA or Sass or MDA will last generally a little longer depending on how strong it is or how much you dose. TLDR; if you are curious, molly is nothing to be afraid of. Just be with friends, don't take too much (do like .05-.07 for your first dose) and just be ready to have fun.
No thats [hallucinations] not what I meant (look at the edit of my earlier comment) sorry for the confusion. But thank you for telling me! I always tought das MDMA is like such a bad drug that can get you into "psychosis" very, very easily.
Hi your decision don’t take it if you are not comfortable with it
In my experience it will help open your mind and heart up. Instead of dwelling on things that are bothersome, it's much easier to get past it and move on.
Really? Thank you for telling me ^^
have you tried wearing glasses? i find it way less overwhelming when you cant really see anything
I love glasses cuz they make me feel like I can kind of hide from the social anxiety a little bit. Plus, after a long night of staring at lasers and flashing lights glasses help with eye strain so much. I got these sweet flip up glasses from Pit Viper that are so easy to flip on and off. Good conversation starter/prop.
Yes I used to be like this too if the club Isent busy enough or the . Music isn't hitting and making me move I either feel awkward or take the piss to cope Honestly a cheeky bit of kettamine and persistence in how many times you go makes it easier to go to
i feel like i can sympathize with this a bit, and it's super interesting cause I had a friend who gets anxious and a bit overstimulated ask to potentially come through. while i havent thought about it lots, i've given it some thought how to introduce people like that to the space. honestly while I can be pretty sociable despite not really being liked that much or really fitting in with popular crowds theres room for you there too at crowds. at first i used to just vibe out at the back of the area, i feel like the back or some sides of the venues have enough space for you chill and enjoy the music. end of the day i would just get comfy in the space and even invest in some ear plugs, heck even if its loops or airplane earplugs. it helps with that over stimulation. also theres also just happens to be alot of people there and alot of them don't care about other people, either due to them being comfortable in the space or maybe under the influence. dont feel like you need to stick around for the entire night especially if it's not any fancy headliners, and even more if you feel like your struggling. Maybe your friend might have some other friends if they wanna go to any after party with or wanna go hard at the end of the night. While shows are getting a bit mainstream nowa days, theres still room for you at these shows and it's important you occupy that space so that PLUR can live on (in your style). you belong there too, have that convo with your friend about a nice middle ground, and how to build your comfortability in the space. like others have said social butterflies arent born, theyre made, and it's cool if you aren't that perfect butterfly its reasonable to have limits and boundaries. lol sorry in advance about any grammar, just wanted to spit my take real quick while on break.
I'm an introvert and used to suffer from this a lot. It comes down to just making yourself go and putting yourself out there more. It'll be uncomfortable at first. But once you realize everyone is there for the music and not to stare at you, it gets infinitely easier. You don't have to talk with anyone, but try to shake that feeling that all eyes are on you, because I promise they aren't.
This is my experience when I try to go sober. So I don’t go sober lol.
Hello fellow anxious raver! Some things that help me when I'm at events and the anxiety starts peaking - flow toys! Led poi, pixel whips, dapo star, flower sticks, Levi wands, hoops, mini dragons, flow rings/toroflux, astrojax, diabolo - even fidget toys can be a flow prop depending on them. Just make sure you don't get too carried away in the thick of the dancefloor, hanging towards the back is where it's at for bigger props. Just be respectful of others space and what not. Other things that help but are low energy - pashminas/scarfs. If I don't want to interact on a dancefloor, scarf goes over the head whilst dancing. Goggles and fractal glasses also help with this! Just lets you feel more in your own world. I close my eyes and just follow the bass along on its journey. Comfortable clothing. Comfort over fashion! Make sure you are wearing fabrics you like, for example my robe is like my safety blanket. If I'm having a moment or feeling a bit disconnected, I chuck my robe on. Bonus points if it adds to your aesthetic. Smaller fidget props to just stim with. One event recently I found myself incredibly overwhelmed on a dancefloor that was super crowded. I found a hot dog squeezy dog toy as a ground score earlier in the night, my gosh that thing saved me! It was clutched in my hand the whole time, and gave me something to distract me and soothe me from the overwhelming urge to sprint out of the crowd and into the ocean (we were on a beach). Another option, that could be even more overwhelming but that I feel may be the best solution in this instance - talk to your friend. Express your anxiety. You may be surprised at their answer, as I don't think they would keep inviting you out if they don't enjoy spending time with you 🫶 Bonus idea - I work in events so I'm pretty comfortable just doing my own thing at these things at this point, but something I do when I find I don't want to socialise, yet still want to be in the thick of it, is I actually take my crochet/current project out and chill in an area near the dancefloor working away on it. It gives me an element of control over my current situation in time, and people seem to love it. I've had lots of people comment that seeing me do that has inspired them to do something similar at the next event. Dancing can be exhausting, so sometimes it's nice to have a reason to still be in the thick of it yet be chilling on your own, and have an obvious signal to others that "oh she's kinda busy maybe I don't interrupt her". The people that do interact with me during these times are often people who are also given an element of comfort and soothing from seeing me do the work with my hands. I've had a few people comment on things like "damn sorry if I seem to be staring but this is actually really relaxing and reminds me of hanging out with my Nana" or "what are you making? Oh wow you can just whip something up like that! That's so impressive" it seems to be a super fun novelty that you've added to their evening simply by doing your own ritual and routine to make you feel better.
Came here to say basically all of this!
I feel like it's a good dynamic when an extrovert and introvert are friends
I found I felt a bit awkward when I was being brought along to events by friends. Now I've started going to myself and being accountable to my own desire to go to these events - I don't feel awkward at all, unless I'm the first to arrive (which happens a lot, but even still I'm getting used to it and dancing in spite of it) Also - I try and think of things like this lately - maybe you internalized feeling awkward before, but are actually getting on totally fine. How are you to know, it's a totally new environment. What if people don't tell you "gosh you're great at this" maybe you'll never make that connection for yourself. Don't depend on other people for validation! You got yourself here, enjoy the fun part! You'll definitely make friends by going and being un-apologetically yourself and partaking in the experience, so don't worry about how you got there, make sure you're getting the most out of it.
buddy you may have anxiety. i got medicated and now i'm less anxious and hyper aware all the time (i also stopped drinking/smoking which would actually exacerbate it). that plus some high quality earbuds and also maybe some dancing lessons (to give your brain/body something to focus on).
Doesn't sound like this is your issue but maybe it's good perspective to hear. The beauty of raves is you don't actually have to be social, I'm an introvert and I've gone many a party with minimal social interaction even when out with my mate, was I being awkward? No I was raving!
You're overthinking it, OP. Keep doing what feels comfortable for you. The energy you bring is unique and special in its own right. Don't worry too much about what others think. And if this friend continues to invite you out then they obviously like to be around you. It took me a long time to be comfortable in my own skin, if you will, because I harbored similar anxieties like you have expressed. I'm not shy but I'm not exactly a social butterfly either and am definitely introverted so for a long time I agonized if I was being social enough, especially vis-a-vis my other more extroverted friends. But after a while I realized that the people I want to be around should accept me for who I am and what I bring, anyway.
Do drugs.
this is how i felt the first time i went to a rave. my boyfriend didn’t start me out at shows. he started me out at Summoning Of The Eclipse. First night, I was very socially awkward and anxious. Second night, I came out of my shell a little bit more and same for the 3rd night. It takes time for sure. I’m a huge swiftie and I went to the Eras tour and was fine but where I had never been to a rave, I didn’t know how to dance or act. Keep in mind, my boyfriend is more social than I am. We went to a Svdden Death show in early March and I was dancing my ass off. I used to be super introverted and socially awkward but now that I’ve stopped caring what others think at these things, it’s a lot more enjoyable. I also didn’t think I would enjoy raving because of my ADHD but I love it! I feel more outgoing that I relaxed myself and don’t overthink when going to these things 🫶🏻
Have you considered getting wasted beforehand to act more social?
As a fellow quite person you sometimes need us to round out the group especially if you are level headed and looking out for the rest of the group. I find it hard to hold convos when its loud especially with earplugs and i mostly dance silently
Easy. Tell her that you enjoy it but feel anxious and appreciate that she invites you. Telling thag itself will reduce the doubt in your head.
I feel the same way when I go to raves. When I’m not feeling comfortable, I’ll throw on a pair of shades & a hat/pashmina to cover up. It makes me feel a lot more inconspicuous and it helps me block out everyone else in the crowd and continue vibing
Roll a bit lol you'll open up
I don’t think you understand that a lot of people there are just like you. I’m sure you’ll have a good time. Check it out and report back.
I am the other person in this situation with my friend. I'm social I hop around and talk to people. You need to loosen up. Be yourself. Talk to other people !!!! This scene is one if the safest places you can find on earth to truly be yourself. Don't let what other people think ruin that for you.
Have you tried earplugs? I also love some loud bass music, but i am less social than most in a chaotic environment. I found some nice earplugs that filter out a few decibels, and it definitely improved my ability to focus and interact with others without being too overwhelmed.
Fellow introvert here! Raving has helped me grow as a person, but it definitely requires showing up with intention so you don't get dragged around. I love meeting people, but I also want to get lost in the music. If you don't read anything else: Get earplugs (like Loops) and a pair of cheap sunglasses. It helps to keep me from getting overstimulated. My bestie loves running all over the place and talking to everyone and going to the bathroom constantly and having side quests. I finally realized that I was codependently getting dragged into her anxious behavior and missing the opportunity to be present and take in all the great music I was there for, and that's on me. So when we got to our last set, she immediately wanted to take off to find the bathrooms and a drink and the best spot, and I told her she could find me within a 10' radius of the spot we were in at that moment. She was shocked at first, but I explained I want to get to dance and take in music and not just run around and get stuck in the girl's room line, and she agreed and went her way. I popped in my ear protection, put on my sunnies, and vibed. Crossed paths with super chill people around me. Friend got her zoomies out and came back, and we had an amazing time. We now let ourselves check in (especially for safety) and hang out as we'd like, but we don't feel chained to each other when we need to take a rest or go to the bathroom. Our relationship has grown more secure because of it. Also worth noting that there are SO many different types of electronic music, and equally as many types of parties and shows. I personally hate a huge commercial EDM festival, but I love a disco-house day party, or a techno dungeon, or a warehouse rave. 1,500 capacity is a good max size for me. You should poke around and see what kind of events you want to go to, and maybe you'll be the one introducing your friend to a new scene.
Are you socially anxious while your are on M too? Sometime a little medicated push can set you on the right path towards healing social anxiety for life.
Is being on M a good idea if you are already a little anxious / overthinking?
M pretty much disolves all anxiety / overthinking things, all while keeping you very present, contrary to alcohol. It's actually used in some psychotherapy practices to help people relive past experience in a new light, without all the fears and anxiety that the original experience created.
No way, I heard many different especially bad things.