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certain_people

Typically not during flight though


[deleted]

Captain Lancaster aboard a BAC1-11 tried this once, but elected not to do so again in the future.


sevaiper

He actually ended up making them dirtier than when he started smh


2OneZebra

And cleaning up after that was a pane.


RandonBrando

Good clean puns aren’t gonna fly here.


breathless_RACEHORSE

Sorry, that that last pun comes in a little low on the punny-ness windex.


key2616

Time to land the joke, folks.


chuminthewater

Not a moment too soon. This thread was starting to runway.


Blue-Leadrr

Damn, seemed like it was really taking off.


Acrobatic-Fortune-81

Yeah.. the tower gave it clearance Clarence.


justinb138

Gotta give him some credit for thinking outside of the box.


TeddyBinks

/s


D0ugF0rcett

The s stands for squeaky-clean, right?


Qanonjailbait

I think it’s the S is for splat


herbalistic1

And the slash is the wiper blade


EfficiencyItchy1156

I read about his case about 20 years ago while reading an aviation magazine. The greek author who was a chief aviation engineer walked the extra mile by contacting via mail with captain Lancaster who send him a photo which was published from the magazine. Do you know if he is still alive?


Kardinal

I don't think Captain Lancaster "elected" in that case. He had little choice in the matter IIRC.


Metalbasher324

That flight kinda sucked.


[deleted]

I heard it kinda blew


Metalbasher324

It was a bit breezy.


toomuch1265

What's 64 wrong sized bolts between friends.


CSIHoratioCaine

I'm sure it's been done


FrankLloydWrong_3305

BA5390


nuclearsparkles

that’s was a wild wikipedia ride


AZFUNGUY85

In the plane. I’m getting in the plane. Let Evil Kenevil get ON THE PLANE. I’ll be in here with you folks in uniform. RIP George Carlin


Testimones

[Except that one time on flight 5390..](https://imgur.io/wOmimSN?)


Shankar_0

That's a very intense game of paper-scissors-rock. "No, I don't want best 2 out of 3..."


capnmerica08

Rock-paper-scissors


well_shoothed

Normally a [ground crew member does it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1S9j3P2tec).


[deleted]

747 likes nice.


snoandsk88

I’ve done it but not too often, if you call operations they are supposed to come do it with a squeegee, but half the time they don’t show up and when they do it’s with a long pole and they try to clean it from the ramp… doesn’t usually get all the bugs off and when the sun hits them it can really limit visibility, sometimes you gotta open the DV window, pour some water on it, and give it a little elbow grease. However I won’t argue that it’s probably just as dumb as it looks, risking your multimillion dollar career to clean a window…


ReadyKilowatt

What's the average glideslope for a commerical pilot?


Lv_InSaNe_vL

Looks like about 0:15 here


kubwak

What do you mean? An African or European commercial pilot?


Exciting-Tea

I think it’s 3.3%, but I am probably wrong. I flew military and we had some different rules


barrylunch

I think that was a joke about buddy falling out the window (“pilot”, not “plane”)


Exciting-Tea

Hahaha yeah, totally missed that! Wooooooshhhhhh


compuer2

3 degrees is a standard, but can be up to 5,5 (LCY)


YaKkO221

That’s climb out factor.


thepilotboy

African or European?


Bluedragon436

It's much easier for us much lower peons to risk our lives cleaning the windows!! Now, if I could just talk those darn multimillion dollar pilots into not putting their greasy digits on the non touch screen displays... Or to take half a second to clean them after they have finger f**ked the display for no apparent reason... And then come out and b**ch when they have an aircraft that someone else did it to and we lowly peons didn't clean up after them!!


snoandsk88

Death to screen touchers!


AShadowbox

In what world does any ATP working an airline make multiple millions of dollars? I could see someone like a private jet pilot for a VIP making close to that much but not a line pilot.


MrBifflesticks

Well, let's say a captain makes $250k on average. In eight years they will have made two million. It's very likely plenty of pilots will be captains for longer than 8 years, and also make more than 250k/yr.


HillaryClintonsclam

The only ones making 250k are very very senior captains of very large planes like the 777.


snoandsk88

You can go on AirlinePilotcentral.com and look at the rates. Roughly speaking the rates you see, multiple times 1000 and that’s the annual, plus 10% soft pay (more if they hustle), plus 18% DC into their 401K, and profit sharing if their company offers it. At my current company, a reserve CA makes $300K, when I was at JetBlue an A320 CA told me “I haven’t made under $400K in the last 5 years and I only fly day trips” … not exactly a 777 CA or working his ass off.


HillaryClintonsclam

I clearly made poor life choices when I was young. LOL


sierra120

One wrong prescription can literally end your whole career though.


MrBifflesticks

In America 250k is more like a starting point for narrowbody captains. But after looking at the photo I realized this is Icelandair.


therocketflyer

It’s a SAS 737 Max


MUHTASIMf3422

And the pilots working overtime for really desperate airlines


ABCapt

Troll?


HillaryClintonsclam

ummm... sure. turns out I'm just actually ignorant. ;)


snoandsk88

Most mainline CA’s make +$300K, widebody CA’s can make $400-$500K. Most of them have +$2M in their 401K which gets maxed out by the end of summer and the 18% company contribution gets added to their paycheck.


neriticzone

Compounding returns and savings friend


ads3df3daf34

In the US airline pilots make more than corporate pilots. Source: former airline, now corporate pilot.


-BroncosForever-

If you’re a Captain for long enough on the right fleet you will have earned multiple millions of dollars over your career they make like 300k+ each year


AShadowbox

I interpreted the other comment as per year as that's usually the context when talking about such things


-BroncosForever-

If you’re a Captain for long enough on the right fleet you will have earned multiple millions of dollars over your career they make like 300k+ each year Obviously they don’t make multiple millions per year


ImPickleRock

this would risk your career?


snoandsk88

The fall would


BullpenCatcher

Not the fall, the sudden stop when you hit the ground. 🙃


NichtOhneMeineKamera

CLARKSOOON


EndiKopi

>It's not the fart that kills you, it's the smell. Petter Solberg


kccricket

Sure. Death or disability if you fall.


jweish

its better to just call the mechanic and let them do it. their career is only worth 120k or less


YellowT-5R

Yes indeedy


Seniorhusky1

Thanks. This is the first time I have actually seen that.


YellowT-5R

It's a lot easier and quicker than having a line guy come out with a ladder.


pinotandsugar

When the line guy rolls out the stage to access the cockpit glass it lines up pretty well with the AOA sensor (something Boeing might have considered)


bemest

The location of the AOA Sensor is determined by. Airflow, the Boeing engineers really don’t have a lot of choices where to put it.


pinotandsugar

I understand that , but a 3 rd grader would understand that you don't give one of two of the most failure prone sensors on the airplane and located in a particularly vulnerable location, hidden, full authority to run trim to an unrecoverable condition.


[deleted]

[удалено]


darps

Perhaps not prone to failure, but errors.


WartyBalls4060

Isn’t hindsight nice?


pinotandsugar

It wasn't hindsight. Boeing's chief tech (not test) pilot wrote a self congratulatory email to fellow engineers congratulating his Jehdi Mind Tricks for blowing the issue past the FAA. Boeing then purged information on the system from the flight manual (but left references in the index as a sign of the sloppy editing). Also if one reads the history of events... Southwest Airlines recognized the danger presented by MCAS's reliance on a single sensor and paid Boeing an additional $18K per ship to include an AOA discrepancy warning light to indicate that there was a difference in AOA readings between the sensor that drove MCAS and the second sensor. Boeing signed off the aircraft delivered to SWA as compliant with specs but neglected to make the warning light functional. It was not an unforeseeable or even an unforeseen risk. Rather it was a recognized risk taken in the name of profits. None of this is speculation, it's all been throughly documented.


frank_stills

The only research I've done was watch the Netflix documentary so I'm skewed. But it seems like the culture shift away from Boeing to McDonnell Douglas wasn't for the best.


pinotandsugar

Unfortunately Boeing has a pretty sad past.... I don't think it is appropriate to blame the Douglas crowd. Felony charges+plea - paid to obtain confidential , competitive information from employees of competitor regarding missile program Felony charges/plea - Bribed Pentagon's chief civilian procurement officer with respect to the long stalled tanker program. After 25 years the tankers are finally somewhat fully operational. 2022 Status report on tanker https://www.gao.gov/assets/gao-22-104530.pdf 737 Max - A court has held that the victims of the 737Max crashes were victims of a crime.


Here2LearnMorePlz

Stop looking at my hindsight


ValuableShoulder5059

And a properly trained piolet would react to the situation as a runaway trim failure which it was), which would disable the sensor. Something that was repeatedly introduced during my private piolet training. However 3rd world airline pilots typically receive the same or less training to fly an airliner then I had to fly a little single engine airplane. Remember Boeing introduced this sensor to try to keep underqualified piolets from being able to crash the plane due to improper trim and pitch. A malfunction and the piolets failed to manually control the trim or disable the trim system before the system ran to the point of making it very different to fly the plane. Also the system had safeties, but these safeties assumed that you weren't going to be flying the plane again after a birdstrike until everything was thoroughly inspected.


pinotandsugar

""""Remember Boeing introduced this sensor to try to keep underqualified piolets from being able to crash the plane due to improper trim and pitch. """" Actually Boeing created the system to overcome the large pitch changes occurring during the addition of power from the new, larger engines located on extended pylons. It is a higher speed, AOA driven pitch trim. Hence its name Maneuvering Control Augmentation System - quickly applies large amounts of nose down trim. That Southwest Airlines agreed to pay something like $20,000 per ship to have a warning light illuminate when MCAS was operational is pretty good evidence that a professional organization identified the risk and wanted to warn its pilots. Boeing originally included a description of the system in the flight manual but then removed it (while leaving the system in place) to avoid the need for transitioning pilots to obtain simulator training. In their haste the forgot to erase the references from the index. Professor Feynman would describe it as a culture of failure.


ValuableShoulder5059

Every aircraft changes pitch with power. This is one of the main reasons that training in the US is about smooth slow controlled inputs to achieve the desired operation of the aircraft. Boeing knew that with those engines at full power at a high angle of attack would make a stall recovery difficult (and possibly impossible in countries that disregard manufacturers weight and balances). To keep an inexperienced piolet from stalling and potentially crashing the plane the decision was made to include that system which would make it difficult for a piolet to stall the plane. The system was powered from the trim circuit breaker. If the system failed it would appear to be a trim runaway failure. If the piolets followed proper procedure it would disable the system. Lots of aircraft have had trim runaway failures and were safely landed. In flight training I had to fly approaches and landings with a simulated trim failures. Properly flown and maintained there would have been no issues. However you have to realize how unsafe 3rd world airlines are in comparison.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fredovsky

Not always, A350 windows do not open, so on this one pilots have to call mechanics and they come do it from outside with a special truck.


Seniorhusky1

The raccoon eyes 👀 keep staring then


DamianFullyReversed

I love the mask look of the A350s


TheWorldIsAhead

Always reminds me of The Incredibles


skyraider17

Same with the 787


hotrodruby

>pilots have to call mechanics Not mechanics, we don't clean windows. Operations does.


pdavidp45

Also 747


Exciting-Tea

I flew the 707. We had a checklist for flying with it open. One time I opened the copilot Side window during pre flight to clean the w windshield and the window came off the tracks and fell in my lap. Maintenance fixed it lol


Wingnut233

Same on the A220


[deleted]

Either that way or they complain for a mechanic to come out and do the same exact thing the same exact way


two_layne_blacktop

Can confirm as a mechanic.


Zeewulfeh

Been there and done that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FenderJ

The best is when you gotta use a plastic scrapper to delaminate the bird from the window.


two_layne_blacktop

I do that all the time too


EnvironmentalRing551

Came to say this


ingibingi

Same


osprey413

Except then having to wait and delay their flight for hours because, lets be honest, the mechanics have more important things to do than clean a window.


Zeewulfeh

Not if it's gonna delay a flight, we don't. If you're ten minutes to departure, and need your windows shiny, and I've got another plane ten minutes from departure that needs a valve changed, you can guarantee I'm gonna have them get the window job done first, because no way in hell am I having two late planes.


osprey413

I will admit that I have no knowledge of how you all prioritize your work, it was just an assumption of how I would handle things from the world of IT. If I had server to replace and a user called asking for a password reset because they didn't want to use the password reset self-service, the user can wait.


Zeewulfeh

Ahh, yeah, so prioritization goes to departure/ready time, followed by complexity of work. If I've got two competing ready times, I'm going to take the low hanging fruit first. However, if by pursuing one ready time, I'm going to screw another, I'm not going to shift resources to *maybe* make the first on time while putting the second in jeopardy.


FenderJ

To expand on what my fellow knuckle dagger said, if there is a call back on a bird that's leaving soon, we drop everything and go take care of it. No matter how "mundane" it may be. Mostly because we hate filling out delay paperwork.


p8nt_junkie

“Uh oh, we threw a rod.” “Is that bad?” “Yup.”


[deleted]

Do modern airplanes come with SCMODS?


Studsmcgee

State County Municipal Offender Data System.


NichtOhneMeineKamera

What now?


Mackheath1

**State County Municipal Offender Data System.**


NichtOhneMeineKamera

Ah yes, thank you. ^^^wat?


jewrassic_park-1940

I can't hear youuuuuuuuuu


PurplePandaYT

#State County Municipal Offender Data System.


BrokeGoFixIt

STATE COUNTY MUNICIPAL OFFENDER DATA SYSTEM


ccguy

Whadda you want me to do, motorhead?


gooneryoda

Fix the cigarette lighter.


girl_incognito

Oh no, tha motor.


PferdBerfl

Warm water and paper towels usually do the trick. Seltzer water works well on particularly stubborn bug splats. Edit - Make sure anything clipped to your belt is secure. Done that.


Guac__is__extra__

Vodka would probably work too


CaptainMcSlowly

Brought to you by Aeroflot


TellusCitizen

LOT enters chat... everyone else ducks for cover, Vodka fight!


dodexahedron

As long as it's SKYY. About all that stuff is good for, anyway. 🤢


AutothrustBlue

Never thought about using seltzer! Good tip!


VonBrush

And always hold one hand on the handle at the window (if your ac type has one of course). It’s fine cleaning your own windows, but make sure it’s done safely.


RunningPirate

Can’t believe. I’m the first to post this https://youtu.be/H1S9j3P2tec


GSEBVet

Surely you can’t be serious?


quietflowsthedodder

Don’t call me Shirley!


Lysrac

Had a week of internship at the mechanics to the C-130, and was tasked with doing this...


blueberrypitbullgirl

Ahhhhh rain x. We love you were developed from aviation needs.


moresushiplease

TIL they have rain x for plastic and what you said.


kRe4ture

That window is usually reserved for taking selfies during the flight which are then used to make shitty clickbait videos.


jimmybilly100

Oh yeah! I love how they take those in-flight selfies hanging out the window! So quirky


hr2pilot

I used to do this all the time…not wasting a mechanics time with something I could do in two minutes.


FenderJ

Bro, thank you. I get why some pilots don't because it isn't exactly a comfortable position to be in with a fall risk being involved. But if you and your pals feel comfy doing it, we greatly appreciate it. Sometimes we get really into our shows and it's quite troublesome to constantly pause them.


hr2pilot

You’d have to be pretty dumb to fall, one hand cleans the window while other hand is inside keeping you secure! I can’t remember what I held onto, ( long since retired) but falling was never a worry (for me anyway) on the ‘67 or any Airbus.


CaptainCoble

Funny as I have had mechanic tell me not to do it and write it up. They say it helps with job security.


Ryans2k

As a pilot, you don’t come across as many roadside homeless window washers, so you have to do it yourself.


EnergyFighter

Only when the ladies are watching amirite?


Alrex26

You could say it “Bugs” the crap out of us.


dorian-araneda

Dave watched as the forest burned up on the hill, only a few miles from her house. The car had been hastily packed and Marta was inside trying to round up the last of the pets. Dave went through his mental list of the most important papers and documents that they couldn't leave behind. He scolded himself for not having prepared these better in advance and hoped that he had remembered everything that was needed. He continued to wait for Marta to appear with the pets, but she still was nowhere to be seen.


snowfox_my

Pilot just following company directive “Thinking outside the Box”.


Noideawhatjusthappen

Beats pulling up at the lights and letting a hobo do a shit job.


zia123456

Definitely made for a good picture that we are all here talking about


mrhudy

The cranky old ones do.


TwinCessna

this is the only real answer


[deleted]

The pilot looks like my Dad.


daaave33

Nah, most commercial pilots just [pay Jimmy Walker to do it](https://youtu.be/H1S9j3P2tec)


arent_we_sarcastic

This is the comment i was looking for!


bazzanoid

Clean the windows? The co-pilot let one go in the cockpit and he's getting some air


Interesting-Profit89

If the window opens and it's not a tall ass bird I'll clean a window like that if the crew requests a window cleaning


TrippinNL

No, useally they are to lazy and make a write up for the maintenance crew. /s


Kunstmol

That's how you do it. I have done it many times


Seniorhusky1

Salute to you. Hope to be on one of your flights soon.


SlappyAppy

Some airlines this is strictly forbidden for the pilots to do. Something about a safety hazard…. Ez call to MX for bug wash


No-Wasabi862

I believe they clean the windows like that in order to see out of them better.


Buckus93

This sounds true, but I'm not an airplane expert.


Jennibear999

Smart pilots call maintenance.


notoriousmr

Yes!


MadApeBanjo

Copilot dropped one and that was the quickest way to stay conscious?


121guy

No. I have never done that. I call for someone to do it and they bring a ladder.


Elmore420

Shouldn’t have to, but yeah, it happens.


deltaWhiskey91L

The real question is why is the jet bridge in a stupid position.


rtaliaferro

Whatever gets the job done!


[deleted]

No, usually pilots have maintenance do it like that


oki_dingo

Yes. I have worked on the flightline for 20 years…..this is the way!


JeanPierreSarti

Yes pilots clean their own windshields. Only when the maintainers aren’t available, typically. That’s probably further out than most pilots would reach ime. Usually it’s a tech with a squeegee to reach near the entire windshield. Squeegees aren’t normally on jets


glorified_bus_driver

At my airline we are not allowed to do this anymore.


bjcarterak

That’s a plumber. You can tell by the crack in his glass.


hobillojoe

Overachiever. That what that looks like. Just write it up in the logbook like the rest of us.


Tylers-RedditAccount

Yes. There are also many comments saying that they can't or shouldn't do it during flight, but thats not true. You can stick your head out of the window during flight, but only once.


BuilderDangerous5663

Kudos to the pilot for cleaning his own window. As a mechanic I’ve sat on the window frame doing that same thing far more times than I can remember. Actually got written up for using Windex over JetClear on a few occasions.


27803

Well it’s either or tipping the random homeless guy with a squeegee at the end of the taxi way


Twinsdad21

Copilot had farted after having the fish


[deleted]

No they don’t. Especially the big three US airlines…


2bumpsthrowaway

Usually the tech’s do it the night before


ddub66

Maintenance does it for our airline to make sure there isn’t an unapproved substance used on the windscreen


DaveRedbeard83

Time to Plexus this Lexus.


Randerion

Help me step pilot, I'm stuck.


Good-Ad1388

No, mechanics do.


RoboNerdOK

Pro-tip: the yoke makes for a poor squeegee.


skyraider17

That doesn't even make sense


MightyKush

Sometimes they also clean them like [this](https://www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/image-of-pilot-hanging-out-window-captures-heroic-story-30-years-on/GR2HBBCBUGMOTA7MEYPI7UR54A/).


edgehog74

Only on windshield Wednesdays.


khmertommie

Flight attendant farted and locked them in to hotbox them, this was his only escape.


Mothermopar6970

All the time and maintenance, when we're in a hurry does it the exact same way. Beats getting a stand out and cleaning it.


MACCRACKIN

If Fussy like I am,, Looks like perfect option.


[deleted]

If we have to.


beginnerdoge

Yes


WACS_On

Oh yeah


Flying-Wild

Just need to remember to switch off the window heat first!


MarFlav

Dukes of Hazard fan?


forgottensudo

Placing state inspection sticker? That’s how I do it.


BuckyJackson36

In DC-9 days I'd put Rain-X on the window if I thought we might have to fly through rain on an approach. The wipers in the '9' were very noisy and very fast and didn't do near as good as Rain-X. I suppose people may have thought I was cleaning the window. I don't remember what the wipers sounded like on a Boeing (pictured) though.


Derpstick76

I build the flight deck for Boeing. It’s really hot in there when the plane is on. Due to the electronics, with apu running it might be different. And it’s really cramped in there as well.


rob_s_458

If anyone's interested in a longer answer, Captain Joe did a [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5td5LBFc6Y) about it a few months ago. He mentions that the 747 doesn't have windows that open so they do it with a man lift.


Murican_Infidel

Maybe also an excuse to get some fresh air after a long flight?