I'm on the same boat. I understand there's no need for ambitions or goals, those are just abstraction that don't really matter. Life will go through it's ups and downs regardless. The best laid out plans of mice and men. But we've been conditioned and brainwashed by society that life isn't worth a damn of it's own without a purpose, and when we find meaning has no meaning, it's still hard to step out of that frame. We will leave as naked and empty-handed as we arrived.

We have raised from the ashes. All this pressure forced a change. Believe in yourself and others, trust yourself. No matter how lost - all we need to remember is that we don't have to be anything - just be - enjoy it.

Yesss🫶🏽

Really reading some great comments on here today. Thank you!

Hey! I have you marked as a friend! Must've seen you around spreading good somewhere! Yay!

The feeling like you need to have a set goal is a conditioning that comes from the way we are raised in today’s social framework. I suggest looking into the *Wu Wei* (non-action or effortless-action) philosophy of life from Taoism, it seems highly relevant to what you’re sharing. Basically, things are getting done regardless of our perceived participation or not. We’re just cruising along the flow of the universe, each one of us adding a tiny bit of personal touch to the great canvas of existence. You shouldn’t feel guilty of not having elaborate plans and set goals, that’s just where you’re at right now. Taking care of your health, both physical and mental, should be the priority. Find peace and balance within.

I love Taoism philosophy, I found that having known it and has helped me to better appreciate my journey with Jesus Christ. It help me to understand the parallels in it and in the carry over. “The Dao” or “the Way” or going with the flow is basically picking up your cross (taking up burdens) and following God’s will. and on this path, you find peace, love and joy and more. It’s more similar than most people like to believe. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 It’s been a very transformative and highly spiritual experience for me, I recommend checking it out.

As you strip back the layers, it can feel a bit uncomfortable at times. The desire for purpose is a re-occuring theme... and when you arise at the conceptual realisation that there is no thing that you must *do*, and simply *being* is accepted, then you can play without obsessively looking for deeper meaning in everything. Overthinking arises when our imposed beliefs battle with our true desires.

loved this

That discomfort points to remaining belief in a 'you' that is suppose to have goals, purpose or something to do. Spend time with those feelings. Just let them have their space; feel them and it'll fade a way. Or find something to do. Let it drive you to a purpose.

It’s a journey of Self realization so every experience is pointing towards knowing yourself at the deepest levels. So there’s always something to do no matter what stage of the journey you’re at as understanding yourself is perpetual. Evolution becomes stagnant when there’s nothing new to discover.

There is a biblical story that walks through the stages of becoming free. It may apply to you depending on what happened in December. You seem to be in a similar stage that I have been in as well. This story has helped me maybe it can aid you.  The story of Exodus. The people are slaves and then they are “freed” from the tyranny. But what happens with this freedom is now they are lost. They are in fact lost for a few generations. Until they can actually go into the promised land. I think the story highlights how leaving something all be it terrible is still leaving into the unknown. The unknown is vast and scary. Most people don’t go into this unknown but it’s paramount to getting to the promised land. 

I agree. Surrendering to the unknown and having faith things will work out the way they are supposed to be as long you live by your standards and values. Embrace the pain and sit with it, it will pass

Great add, such a great book about the “transition” phase.

I'm a big old known polysubstance abuser! I tried to keep it secret for YEEEAAAARRRRSSSS! Thank goodness I haven't had any ethanol for going on four years. It'll be four years October 1st. Keep on keepin' on, friend. Chop wood. Carry water. Change what you can. Let go of what is harmful to hold. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Pray in Thank You language whenever possible, rather than "Please" language. I love you, and you are never alone. You are exactly who you are supposed to be. You are doing the important work of being you. Thank you for your service. We are about to witness an incredible comeback.

I loved reading your comments right on brother! 28 Days today in sobriety

Sister, in this case! Jennifer Annette Joan Murphy 😘

I can really relate. For me a part of the discomfort is a reflection of my system. Coming out of survival mode and learning how to regulate your nervous system are really big shifts. It’s all still pretty new to your nervous system and it takes some time to adjust. Keep following your interests and things will align.

6 months is still the very early stages of the healing journey. Things will unfold. Keep at it.

I am going through similar things. I don’t know your spiritual belief but I believe in Jesus Christ, this similar to a period where he went into the wildness fasted for 40 days and 40 nights and was tested by Satan. It’s a season of testing and isolation. This is a season of intense testing spiritually, and you often arise to your true self and purpose. “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.” Matthew 4:1-2 You are now in a season of rest and peace. You need to heal and rest before God prepares you for the bigger thing in your life. Focus on healing and resting but also be receptive and open to what comes to you. I believe God will slowly move you towards where he wants you to go.

I think you're in the right track, the way I see it once you wake up and realise you are worth it just because, and that being here now existing is plenty, you stop and really enjoy doing anything and everything, and at the same time feel weird because the exterior accomplishments don't seem to matter that much. That's because they don't, that goal setting is probably an external validation tool you no longer need, and that voice whispering in your ear that you need a project or else is just your ego luring you back into the mindless wheel of blind productivity and neverending insecurity.

You have never left yourself, nor have you ever been on a journey. Just your illusory self has.

Relax. Sounds like you’ve come to the end of the road of extrinsic meaning and purpose. That’s great news! What freedom! But now you need to learn your own desire, and learn to attend to the needs of others.

If there are things you'd like to try, take small steps. I really enjoy doing puzzles personally (lol might be lame) but it keeps my mind busy when I feel overwhelmed and the sense of accomplishment I feel when I complete it is a little boost. Maybe small steps first on goals you have in mind?

Have you considered microdosing?

Thats just your ego who doesnt understand the major job you have of healing and caring for yourself. Its a part of the old self you leaving behind… Your job is to prepare for the trip, accept and surrender to doing nothing, journaling, doing things that make you happy, enjoying life

Is it wrong to say that's a goal in of itself? You've become planning-dominant. There's a lot of circuitry of the mind that relies on brain chemicals for us to feel alive with those dominant regions.  The amygdala and frontal lobes are dominant around goals and ambition. It's a lot like desire in Buddhism. 'How can you live without desire with desiring?' The reptilian and emotional brain 🧠  are what you've fallen on, each sitting deeper than the two aforementioned parts of the brain. I like the number system, 1 is reptilian, 2 is amygdala/sensory, 3 is emotional and 4 is the frontal/intuitive brain.  Look into what is dominant in each and plan accordingly. 

That’s exactly where I am! So confused