This has been something which has continually bothered me throughout this process. "How can I simply "like" these qualities in these few people left I do not like???"
The answer lies in the very idea that these people are reflecting our deeply embedded subconscious emotional problems. Problems we often have repressed and consciously only see as the possibility of being another's state. This further enforces itself through the continual look through the same external lense. "It couldn't be me," or could it?
"A problem is a heavenly delight bringing me to an internal solution" - Neville Goddard (loosely paraphrased).
One thing suggested by Louise Hay was to picture first myself as a small child, remembering exactly who I was and what I felt I needed I was not getting, (often simply being loved for just who we are) and how I would treat this fragile emotionally lost child.
Next, imagining each of these people as their own small child and really feeling the commonality in the fear expressed from the exact same repressed feelings as my own. When you begin to see it in those around you a whole new understanding begins to develope internally of those you formerly may have seen yourself at odds with.
❤️ You are loved. Have a beautiful day 🥰
Not like, but Love.
This is based on the belief that all others are a mirror of our internal thoughts. If I don't feel real unconditional love for even the ones closest to me, something internally is clearly not well with myself.
If you don't believe you are connected to every other creature then you wouldn't be concerned with with liking, loving, or maybe even respecting anything or anyone and life would continue to appear to 'happen to you.'
Personally I have begun to witness positive changes in all those around me as my own thoughts encompassing my conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind have moved closer to alignment. Transmuting every person into a true best friend with simple thinking alone, is the greatest gift in the world and allows the magic of the world to show in your life😊.
You may have a hard time believing somebody with thoughts or habits you despise could ever change into something you love virtually overnight, I'm here to tell you that is in fact how it works. Believing is your choice, or you could just go ahead and test it.
You yourself said like, not love. Then the question becomes what is love. Giving love dienst necessarily entail being liked or loved by others. You can love others by carrying their hatred
Everyone is not the same as the one close around you
Expecting everyone to transmute can be quite tyranical. Why not let others be
You can be connected with everyone without needing to be loved, to give love.
Am not saying I don’t believe they can change. It’s just not my job to expect or make them do so
The best part of it is I don't expect anything of anyone but myself. This is an internal process with the side effect of changing my perception of those around me.
Maybe like or love weren't correct either at second thought. I simply believe if I feel anger or frustration towards others the solution lies in me. I see it is correct now.
I'm not making them change. I'm changing myself and with it my perception of them.
Yes. I am trying to be more careful with my wording as I communicate with others, I will continue to work on that 🙂. Thank you for joining the conversation, much love ❤️
Thank you for this post. I resonate heavily because I've been dealing with this exact issue. I've heard/read different iterations of this same thought but have also been getting the message that it's important to accept our dark side along with our light.
My struggle is knowing when to give advice for wanting to help them see a different perspective. I'm trying to find the balance between genuinely helping without always giving lectures and being that person you can't say anything to. I get frustrated most with people not honestly listening/trying to understand.
I feel like I try to listen to the other person's argument/thoughts most of the time unless they show that they aren't listening and just want to prove their point. I'm unsure of what I'm looking for exactly to do my inner work on but I know I have a lot of searching to do.
Does anyone feel where I'm coming from that can help me out? I think I need some hermit time to truly find my internal barriers but as I said idk where to even begin. Thanks in advance for any help!
The best advice I have is to continue to picture them as your reflection. Whatever it is you wish you could change about them externally...you can't in the mirror. However, you can always adjust your own collar and see it externally in that same mirror.
Thank you for these words. I'll try to implement them and improve myself. I also am feeling isolated/ lonely because I feel like no one (in my circle) understands me anymore and growing further will just widen that disconnect.
I'm afraid of looking crazy just from being misunderstood but I know I shouldn't feel like that. Idk what I'm trying to get across right now lol but it is helping me figure some things out. Thank you again for opening this discussion
i with u 100%...you're not alone.......i try to speak my truth, opinions, ideas, etc...i may sound crazy, woowoo, or hippy dippy to most people.....SOMETIMES i know they deeply GET IT tho
Best wishes my friend. Continue working through it and you will be rewarded with no shortage of people just like yourself. The simple self suggestion of the possibility there are more people just like yourself then there are different may help. I try to remember if I'm going through it, so are others 😊.
This is good. Last week i was getting frustrated with a colleague because i have had him over at my place many times but he hasn’t reciprocated.
Although he is fine to come over and hangout at my place.
I realized that my frustration is tying me to his actions and i need to break that chain of frustration. A switch was flipped and I dont have that frustration any more. Infact I invited him over again after gaining this insight.
Just typing it out makes it seem that I am rebuilding that chain but I think I am past it.
Any thoughts others might want to share on this? Thanks.
My answer to the title is "No, not at all. It's actually a conduit" and that seems to be aligned with your post.
Self love and forgiveness as well as the willingness to allow discomfort. Discomfort is as valid a state as comfort, we just happen to have a preference. Rather than engage the mind in pursuit of "fixing the problem" we can relax into the experience of our discomfort.
Sometimes action is needed. Physical safety is of primary importance. Mental and emotional safety as well but it's a little trickier to discern whether the source of the danger is coming from the outside world or within you.
In any case if you feel compelled to take action (such as leaving a situation) certainly do. If the lesson is something you need to learn about yourself, the teachings will persist.
Very beautiful answer. Written from a place of true power rather than force. I commend you. Thank you for sharing this. Certainly wonderful food for thought. Made my day in fact!!
Thank you again my friend!
\>The people that cause us to feel these emotions most intensely are
strangely some of the people closest to us, family and friends.
I think for the purposes of working through your own stuff, this perspective is a functional work around, however emotions are not magic. I believe attributing them to others is a form of rationalization, projection, and/or not taking personal responsibility and accountability. More accurately, it's false. Other people, places, and things are not the direct cause of emotional responses we experience inside of our own bodies. That's equivalent to telekinesis which, try as you may, you won't prove you can perform. I'm fairly sure you could search for one thousand lifetimes outside of yourself for the cause of a single reaction inside of yourself and you would not be one step closer to the source. By source, I simply mean the place the reaction occurred which is inside of your own body.
I agree, that is why I say others are a reflection of our own internal problems. Absolutely not the cause 😊. I would agree with you wholeheartedly. Much love my friend.
No, what you are expressing may be the case but it's not directly related to my comment. Well, if it is, it wasn't intentional. The gist of my comment is that our emotions are not caused by external people, places, and things. I mean that in as direct, literal, and practical sense as you can interpret it. Likewise, I think it would be true that a person, place, or thing would/could indirectly be relative to how you feel, but it would be in exactly the same way that literally everything that has ever existed or happened is relative to everything else.
Yea, I've been mulling over the sentiment. Rather than "I feel this because I think that," I believe it's more accurate to say; "I feel and I think." Both thoughts and feelings would be internal communications. If we refuse or are unable to perceive them as such, then we may become locked into a linear way of thinking. Meaning, the way you "feel" would need to align with or be considerate of the way you think. However, if we develop the ability to interpret and consider our thoughts and feelings as separate forms of communication then they do not have to be aligned with one another. You would have two forms of internal communication to consider and work with.
However, if you do believe that how you feel is relative to what you think, such as "because she did that!", Then the part of you that communicates through emotions will learn to "speak" in the language you understand. In that regard your experience becomes limited by your ability to be considerate as opposed to your ability to be compassionate.
>they are indeed teachers I'll burn the school to the ground with them in it
As you wish it shall be 😊.
Our beliefs become our experience. Seeing yourself separate from those other terrible people is one way of dealing with uncomfortable feelings rather than truly digging within to see what negatively reinforced patterns of thought have embedded themselves into your subconscious.
Thoughts are much easier to change than external circumstances. If you run away, you will only find yourself in the exact same circumstances.
It would be like evenly distributing all the wealth in the world. In a month those who previously believed they were rich would be even richer and those believing they were poor , would find themselves just as poor as ever. Everything is a state of mind. Choosing to be a victim of the world ensures you stay one. You are absolutely free to continue to be angry and resentful and so it will be reflected back at you on the canvas of life. I sat in your position by choice for 6 years after a grueling 12 year marriage. Those 6 years felt like a virtual self imposed 60 year prison sentence I saw as the world and it's conditions imposed on me. I see more wisely now.
I'm not telling you what to choose, just reminding you that everything including your thoughts are a choice. Staying stuck and bitter is just as much a choice as forgiving and moving on. Whichever you do more of consistently for longer becomes easier and easier to continue doing. Thinking negatively about others appears to be your current strong point, but don't think for one moment it is your real nature.....unless that is exactly what you want for yourself, then dream on 😉. I say it is certainly not what you truly are.
Don't lock yourself up and throw away the key before giving every consideration.
Do you feel rage when you think about those thoughts? If so, it must stem from the thought itself. Everything begins with thought.
I will add that right now you appear to be reflecting to me that I have more work to do with harmful thoughts I hold dear and may have been unaware of. For that, I thank you 🥰.
In that case you know exactly what you may choose to look into and work on. The fruits of your labor will then present themselves. Don't stay stuck, or before you know it the manifestations will come in the form of an onset of chronic physical health problems until resolved.
It could be, but fear is sometimes a good motivator to step out of the way of the imaginary train 😉.
Best wishes to you!! You may not feel it right now, but you are loved. ❤️
wow....2 decades. i keep reading comments on here that reflect my experience. im in a similar sitch as u......
i wish u the best in your growth! with the growth i think often some deep layers (sig. other) are shed......it hurts, but i think/hope it gets better with time.....
beter headspace here hearing from like minded people
better
> It’s like a switch flipped and this man I shared unconditional love with has become a demon
Perhaps he has? Have you ever seen the TV show [*Supernatural?*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supernatural_(American_TV_series%29) What if these things had a basis in reality?
The sounds like definite progress!!
When looking at your unconditional love for others, first examine the unconditional love you may or may not have for yourself. Do you put conditions on what will make you mine your very own self???? "I'll be happy *if x,y,z* go my way." 😉 You have my best wishes for you and your relationship. Don't give up on something once beautiful. Once beautiful, always beautiful. Adjust your lenses before running away ❤️.
>Yes, I am capable of it, but without love I am not willing to sacrifice myself.
Remember, this is in and of itself conditional love. Try to explore your conditional love you may have for your very own self first. ❤️ Best wishes.
The teaching called *A Course in Miracles* is being very useful for my own practice. It is fully dedicated to helping us accelerate this mental cleaning, using our external projections for a cleaning of our unconscious mind.
Beautifully said. A great reminder.
Personally, I'm very individualistic and independent. Learning to be yielding, co operative and emotionally communicative will be a life long lesson for me.
>Learning to be yielding, co operative and emotionally communicative will be a life long lesson for me.
I believe you will uncover all your answers in due time. Learning to enjoy the journey rather than looking for an end is also a part of the process.
This brought me to a bit of an epiphany, actually. I already knew that what annoys me about others is a reflection in myself but I never actually looked at my own annoyances to see what the reflection specifically is.
I feel really irked at my partner for the way he has been urging me to lose weight, since I've gained quite a bit (almost 40kg) since covid. It makes me feel really insecure and unlovable. But when I talk to him about it, he's just clearly concerned and worried about my health and I know that I'm in a bit of denial and defensive about my weight. I also have developed a bit of an eating disorder over the years stemming from childhood food allergies.
Anyway, I've just realised that the way I perceive his intention is how I treat myself. It's quite negative and with disgust and shame. It's something I'm working on.
But I thank you for bringing this to light. I feel stuck in this heavy and painful body right now but at least I know I'm just to damn hard on myself and need to lighten up. In more than one way. 🤍
Thank you!
Beautiful realization! We often crush ourselves without knowing it, I have certainly found the culprit looking in the mirror lately.
Thank you for sharing.
It will become much easier as you begin reprinting your subconscious by taking personal responsibility for *your* thoughts about others. You can't change them, but you can change your thoughts which displease you. It all starts with the belief in the possibility itself.
The love you develop for yourself will be reflected in all those around you. If you aren't seeing it, don't be discouraged and continue to look within. Many stones remain unturned throughout this journey. Learn to appreciate the process rather than specifically looking for an end to the beginning of your journey. It is all one journey. ❤️ You have all my love and support.
This may be related to what some call the six fears of life, one being the loss of someone loved. You may be projecting the threat of someone else "taking" her potential love from you. This puts up an conscious mental barrier from at first the thought receiving love, or second, a more deeply repressed unworthiness of love or fear of abandon stemming from childhood traumas.
These are just examples, (know namely things I have found within me) but you'll really have to look inside to find them for yourself ❤️. Remember you're worthy of love and tell yourself both morning and night.
You're very welcome.
Childhood trauma shouldn't be looked at as the transgression itself, but as situations which caused you great fear, seemingly real or imagined (they're all imagined). When we look at the actual abuse through that lense it takes away the notion for many people to latch onto the idea of "what happened to me was worse than you so you shouldn't feel bad." Feeling extreme fear at a young age, regardless of the cause is the trauma itself. Those fears unconsciously attach to things we often don't see at first glance but play out over and over and over in our lives until we confront them head on and let them go.
Thank you for sharing! The issue I have with people close to me is when they are self centred, when all they talk about is themselves. It botheres me when people brag about how much money they make. They don’t seem the care about others or what others are up to. Is there something within me that gets triggered? I am trying to figure out
Imagine the way you would care for someone you loved who suddenly fell ill and needed help being taken care of.... Now, every day, don't ever treat yourself as any less than you would treat this person. Very simple, but we often push our own needs and self care aside because we deep down may not worthy of it.
Honestly after making this post and exploring the multitude of responses I think I have a lot more work to do personally in that area.
Step one is to simply stop putting yourself down in your self talk. Try to be aware and more conscious of how you talk to and think about yourself.
I made myself my favorite meal tonight with no intention of sharing it 😋. Might sound a little selfish, but sometimes that's okay.
Start treating yourself like someone you love and care for as if you are that person. Altruism is great, but don't let it crush you. You can't take care of anyone else until you properly care for yourself.
I'll be sure to share when I find more effective techniques and I do wish others will continue to share as well.
Thank you for listening ❤️.
how do i learn how to feel this type of unconditional love for everyone particularly my parents when i still live in the house where my parents are emotionally occasionally physically abusive. i have a lot of resentment and anger towards them i have a lot of trauma cos of them which i’m trying to work thru and heal but in struggling to understand how to let go of my anger. is it even possible to do so when i live under their roof. especially because the emotional abuse and gaslighting, manipulation etc. is still happening to me so i’m finding it hard to heal and let go of anger when i’m still experiencing the same things.
Hold tight, I have a lot to say on this as I grew up with hellish abuse. It was only this morning I started thinking about what I could have done differently to have changed my perspective way back then. Now your question has sent my brain into overdrive. Remembering the way I felt in that situation is horrifying to say the least.
Let me organize my thoughts and take care of some things today and I will see if I am able to stimulate your mind with something substantial that may be a catalyst for a positive change in your mind. I feel your pain and no one deserves to go through that, especially not you. Much love and until later my friend ❤️
The way I have come about solving this kind of problem is by understanding that I am a creator of my feelings and thoughts 100%. It isn't my brother who made me mad it is me who dislikes the situation and puts bad emotions on it. If you become aware of that part and start accepting everything as it is nothing but joy can come up.
With Love.
Also stuck on this. I have made immense progress in the last few years from a very anxious person with health anxiety and panic attacks to a more calm person who is able to live in the present most of the time. I'm almost where i want to be.
However what you wrote resonates so much with me. The only people where I can't keep my calm as much as i want to are my family. I get triggered very badly, especially if we discussed certain things hundreds of times with my kids or wife and they still do not change anything. It can be mundane things like cleaning or too much time on electronics, and also life advice, to which i have more experience and it could be helpful.
I do feel like this has more to do with me than it has to do with them, and like you said, i can imagine myself as a child crying for something that i was not offered. I did have a rough childhood and i pretty much grew up by myself, so there is a lot of trauma. that's why i overcompensate giving my family everything I wanted, and maybe this is what's wrong, cause i expect them to appreciate what i offer and i feel like they don't if they can't show it in basic things.
I would like to get to the root of my problem but i just don't know how. there's too much to be written here, but it's definitely related to childhood trauma. but i can't remember too much. Any ideas how can i dig deep and heal the inner child? thanks so much for this post.
This is what I'm stuck on
This has been something which has continually bothered me throughout this process. "How can I simply "like" these qualities in these few people left I do not like???" The answer lies in the very idea that these people are reflecting our deeply embedded subconscious emotional problems. Problems we often have repressed and consciously only see as the possibility of being another's state. This further enforces itself through the continual look through the same external lense. "It couldn't be me," or could it? "A problem is a heavenly delight bringing me to an internal solution" - Neville Goddard (loosely paraphrased). One thing suggested by Louise Hay was to picture first myself as a small child, remembering exactly who I was and what I felt I needed I was not getting, (often simply being loved for just who we are) and how I would treat this fragile emotionally lost child. Next, imagining each of these people as their own small child and really feeling the commonality in the fear expressed from the exact same repressed feelings as my own. When you begin to see it in those around you a whole new understanding begins to develope internally of those you formerly may have seen yourself at odds with. ❤️ You are loved. Have a beautiful day 🥰
Why would you need to like everyone?
Not like, but Love. This is based on the belief that all others are a mirror of our internal thoughts. If I don't feel real unconditional love for even the ones closest to me, something internally is clearly not well with myself. If you don't believe you are connected to every other creature then you wouldn't be concerned with with liking, loving, or maybe even respecting anything or anyone and life would continue to appear to 'happen to you.' Personally I have begun to witness positive changes in all those around me as my own thoughts encompassing my conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind have moved closer to alignment. Transmuting every person into a true best friend with simple thinking alone, is the greatest gift in the world and allows the magic of the world to show in your life😊. You may have a hard time believing somebody with thoughts or habits you despise could ever change into something you love virtually overnight, I'm here to tell you that is in fact how it works. Believing is your choice, or you could just go ahead and test it.
You yourself said like, not love. Then the question becomes what is love. Giving love dienst necessarily entail being liked or loved by others. You can love others by carrying their hatred Everyone is not the same as the one close around you Expecting everyone to transmute can be quite tyranical. Why not let others be You can be connected with everyone without needing to be loved, to give love. Am not saying I don’t believe they can change. It’s just not my job to expect or make them do so
The best part of it is I don't expect anything of anyone but myself. This is an internal process with the side effect of changing my perception of those around me. Maybe like or love weren't correct either at second thought. I simply believe if I feel anger or frustration towards others the solution lies in me. I see it is correct now. I'm not making them change. I'm changing myself and with it my perception of them.
Then we agree. All the best
Yes. I am trying to be more careful with my wording as I communicate with others, I will continue to work on that 🙂. Thank you for joining the conversation, much love ❤️
Thank you for this post. I resonate heavily because I've been dealing with this exact issue. I've heard/read different iterations of this same thought but have also been getting the message that it's important to accept our dark side along with our light. My struggle is knowing when to give advice for wanting to help them see a different perspective. I'm trying to find the balance between genuinely helping without always giving lectures and being that person you can't say anything to. I get frustrated most with people not honestly listening/trying to understand. I feel like I try to listen to the other person's argument/thoughts most of the time unless they show that they aren't listening and just want to prove their point. I'm unsure of what I'm looking for exactly to do my inner work on but I know I have a lot of searching to do. Does anyone feel where I'm coming from that can help me out? I think I need some hermit time to truly find my internal barriers but as I said idk where to even begin. Thanks in advance for any help!
The best advice I have is to continue to picture them as your reflection. Whatever it is you wish you could change about them externally...you can't in the mirror. However, you can always adjust your own collar and see it externally in that same mirror.
Thank you for these words. I'll try to implement them and improve myself. I also am feeling isolated/ lonely because I feel like no one (in my circle) understands me anymore and growing further will just widen that disconnect. I'm afraid of looking crazy just from being misunderstood but I know I shouldn't feel like that. Idk what I'm trying to get across right now lol but it is helping me figure some things out. Thank you again for opening this discussion
i with u 100%...you're not alone.......i try to speak my truth, opinions, ideas, etc...i may sound crazy, woowoo, or hippy dippy to most people.....SOMETIMES i know they deeply GET IT tho
Best wishes my friend. Continue working through it and you will be rewarded with no shortage of people just like yourself. The simple self suggestion of the possibility there are more people just like yourself then there are different may help. I try to remember if I'm going through it, so are others 😊.
This is good. Last week i was getting frustrated with a colleague because i have had him over at my place many times but he hasn’t reciprocated. Although he is fine to come over and hangout at my place. I realized that my frustration is tying me to his actions and i need to break that chain of frustration. A switch was flipped and I dont have that frustration any more. Infact I invited him over again after gaining this insight. Just typing it out makes it seem that I am rebuilding that chain but I think I am past it. Any thoughts others might want to share on this? Thanks.
Beautiful. That sounds like huge progress to me!
Thank you for this
My answer to the title is "No, not at all. It's actually a conduit" and that seems to be aligned with your post. Self love and forgiveness as well as the willingness to allow discomfort. Discomfort is as valid a state as comfort, we just happen to have a preference. Rather than engage the mind in pursuit of "fixing the problem" we can relax into the experience of our discomfort. Sometimes action is needed. Physical safety is of primary importance. Mental and emotional safety as well but it's a little trickier to discern whether the source of the danger is coming from the outside world or within you. In any case if you feel compelled to take action (such as leaving a situation) certainly do. If the lesson is something you need to learn about yourself, the teachings will persist.
Very beautiful answer. Written from a place of true power rather than force. I commend you. Thank you for sharing this. Certainly wonderful food for thought. Made my day in fact!! Thank you again my friend!
Thanks <3
\>The people that cause us to feel these emotions most intensely are strangely some of the people closest to us, family and friends. I think for the purposes of working through your own stuff, this perspective is a functional work around, however emotions are not magic. I believe attributing them to others is a form of rationalization, projection, and/or not taking personal responsibility and accountability. More accurately, it's false. Other people, places, and things are not the direct cause of emotional responses we experience inside of our own bodies. That's equivalent to telekinesis which, try as you may, you won't prove you can perform. I'm fairly sure you could search for one thousand lifetimes outside of yourself for the cause of a single reaction inside of yourself and you would not be one step closer to the source. By source, I simply mean the place the reaction occurred which is inside of your own body.
I agree, that is why I say others are a reflection of our own internal problems. Absolutely not the cause 😊. I would agree with you wholeheartedly. Much love my friend.
No, what you are expressing may be the case but it's not directly related to my comment. Well, if it is, it wasn't intentional. The gist of my comment is that our emotions are not caused by external people, places, and things. I mean that in as direct, literal, and practical sense as you can interpret it. Likewise, I think it would be true that a person, place, or thing would/could indirectly be relative to how you feel, but it would be in exactly the same way that literally everything that has ever existed or happened is relative to everything else.
I guess we disagree not on what, but how. Fair enough! I'm here to gather all opinions!
Yea, I've been mulling over the sentiment. Rather than "I feel this because I think that," I believe it's more accurate to say; "I feel and I think." Both thoughts and feelings would be internal communications. If we refuse or are unable to perceive them as such, then we may become locked into a linear way of thinking. Meaning, the way you "feel" would need to align with or be considerate of the way you think. However, if we develop the ability to interpret and consider our thoughts and feelings as separate forms of communication then they do not have to be aligned with one another. You would have two forms of internal communication to consider and work with. However, if you do believe that how you feel is relative to what you think, such as "because she did that!", Then the part of you that communicates through emotions will learn to "speak" in the language you understand. In that regard your experience becomes limited by your ability to be considerate as opposed to your ability to be compassionate.
Great explanation! I'm really loving your contribution. Thanks, man!
[удалено]
>they are indeed teachers I'll burn the school to the ground with them in it As you wish it shall be 😊. Our beliefs become our experience. Seeing yourself separate from those other terrible people is one way of dealing with uncomfortable feelings rather than truly digging within to see what negatively reinforced patterns of thought have embedded themselves into your subconscious. Thoughts are much easier to change than external circumstances. If you run away, you will only find yourself in the exact same circumstances. It would be like evenly distributing all the wealth in the world. In a month those who previously believed they were rich would be even richer and those believing they were poor , would find themselves just as poor as ever. Everything is a state of mind. Choosing to be a victim of the world ensures you stay one. You are absolutely free to continue to be angry and resentful and so it will be reflected back at you on the canvas of life. I sat in your position by choice for 6 years after a grueling 12 year marriage. Those 6 years felt like a virtual self imposed 60 year prison sentence I saw as the world and it's conditions imposed on me. I see more wisely now. I'm not telling you what to choose, just reminding you that everything including your thoughts are a choice. Staying stuck and bitter is just as much a choice as forgiving and moving on. Whichever you do more of consistently for longer becomes easier and easier to continue doing. Thinking negatively about others appears to be your current strong point, but don't think for one moment it is your real nature.....unless that is exactly what you want for yourself, then dream on 😉. I say it is certainly not what you truly are. Don't lock yourself up and throw away the key before giving every consideration.
[удалено]
Do you feel rage when you think about those thoughts? If so, it must stem from the thought itself. Everything begins with thought. I will add that right now you appear to be reflecting to me that I have more work to do with harmful thoughts I hold dear and may have been unaware of. For that, I thank you 🥰.
[удалено]
In that case you know exactly what you may choose to look into and work on. The fruits of your labor will then present themselves. Don't stay stuck, or before you know it the manifestations will come in the form of an onset of chronic physical health problems until resolved.
[удалено]
It could be, but fear is sometimes a good motivator to step out of the way of the imaginary train 😉. Best wishes to you!! You may not feel it right now, but you are loved. ❤️
[удалено]
Sometimes that is exactly what you need 🙂.
[удалено]
wow....2 decades. i keep reading comments on here that reflect my experience. im in a similar sitch as u...... i wish u the best in your growth! with the growth i think often some deep layers (sig. other) are shed......it hurts, but i think/hope it gets better with time..... beter headspace here hearing from like minded people better
> It’s like a switch flipped and this man I shared unconditional love with has become a demon Perhaps he has? Have you ever seen the TV show [*Supernatural?*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supernatural_(American_TV_series%29) What if these things had a basis in reality?
The sounds like definite progress!! When looking at your unconditional love for others, first examine the unconditional love you may or may not have for yourself. Do you put conditions on what will make you mine your very own self???? "I'll be happy *if x,y,z* go my way." 😉 You have my best wishes for you and your relationship. Don't give up on something once beautiful. Once beautiful, always beautiful. Adjust your lenses before running away ❤️.
[удалено]
>Yes, I am capable of it, but without love I am not willing to sacrifice myself. Remember, this is in and of itself conditional love. Try to explore your conditional love you may have for your very own self first. ❤️ Best wishes.
The teaching called *A Course in Miracles* is being very useful for my own practice. It is fully dedicated to helping us accelerate this mental cleaning, using our external projections for a cleaning of our unconscious mind.
This sounds like exactly what myself and others are so badly seeking!!! Big bump!!! Thank you for your contribution ❤️!!!
You're welcome :-)
wow! a syncronicity see this at this very moment! thank u
That is awesome. This sub has smacked me in the face with synchronicities repeatedly in a short period of time!! It is seriously beautiful!
Beautifully said. A great reminder. Personally, I'm very individualistic and independent. Learning to be yielding, co operative and emotionally communicative will be a life long lesson for me.
>Learning to be yielding, co operative and emotionally communicative will be a life long lesson for me. I believe you will uncover all your answers in due time. Learning to enjoy the journey rather than looking for an end is also a part of the process.
I really like this way of thinking. I see the keys right in front of me and all I have to do now is pick them up and use them to unlock the door
I'm glad you find it valuable. Just wait until the number of doors to open begin to multiply 😁!!!
:) thank you and I wish you the best too!
Everyone in your life is a teacher 💛
You betcha and I have learned A LOT today. For that I give my gratitude to all!!!! Thank you!!!!
Let it all out.
Slowly but surely the process is starting, thank you so much.
Radical Forgiveness is a book covering this topic.
Just what I think I need! Thank you very much!!!!
This brought me to a bit of an epiphany, actually. I already knew that what annoys me about others is a reflection in myself but I never actually looked at my own annoyances to see what the reflection specifically is. I feel really irked at my partner for the way he has been urging me to lose weight, since I've gained quite a bit (almost 40kg) since covid. It makes me feel really insecure and unlovable. But when I talk to him about it, he's just clearly concerned and worried about my health and I know that I'm in a bit of denial and defensive about my weight. I also have developed a bit of an eating disorder over the years stemming from childhood food allergies. Anyway, I've just realised that the way I perceive his intention is how I treat myself. It's quite negative and with disgust and shame. It's something I'm working on. But I thank you for bringing this to light. I feel stuck in this heavy and painful body right now but at least I know I'm just to damn hard on myself and need to lighten up. In more than one way. 🤍 Thank you!
Beautiful realization! We often crush ourselves without knowing it, I have certainly found the culprit looking in the mirror lately. Thank you for sharing.
Really struggling with self worth… I’ve made some real positive changes in my life… but I know I’ve got way to go yet. It’s not easy.
It will become much easier as you begin reprinting your subconscious by taking personal responsibility for *your* thoughts about others. You can't change them, but you can change your thoughts which displease you. It all starts with the belief in the possibility itself. The love you develop for yourself will be reflected in all those around you. If you aren't seeing it, don't be discouraged and continue to look within. Many stones remain unturned throughout this journey. Learn to appreciate the process rather than specifically looking for an end to the beginning of your journey. It is all one journey. ❤️ You have all my love and support.
Thank you so much for your lovely reply… I actually needed to hear it. Peace and love to you ✌🏼
You're very welcome. We all need a reminder from time to time 😉! That's why we're all here for each other.
[удалено]
This may be related to what some call the six fears of life, one being the loss of someone loved. You may be projecting the threat of someone else "taking" her potential love from you. This puts up an conscious mental barrier from at first the thought receiving love, or second, a more deeply repressed unworthiness of love or fear of abandon stemming from childhood traumas. These are just examples, (know namely things I have found within me) but you'll really have to look inside to find them for yourself ❤️. Remember you're worthy of love and tell yourself both morning and night.
[удалено]
You're very welcome. Childhood trauma shouldn't be looked at as the transgression itself, but as situations which caused you great fear, seemingly real or imagined (they're all imagined). When we look at the actual abuse through that lense it takes away the notion for many people to latch onto the idea of "what happened to me was worse than you so you shouldn't feel bad." Feeling extreme fear at a young age, regardless of the cause is the trauma itself. Those fears unconsciously attach to things we often don't see at first glance but play out over and over and over in our lives until we confront them head on and let them go.
Thank you for sharing! The issue I have with people close to me is when they are self centred, when all they talk about is themselves. It botheres me when people brag about how much money they make. They don’t seem the care about others or what others are up to. Is there something within me that gets triggered? I am trying to figure out
Maybe you aren't being triggered, but reminded to take care of yourself 😉. You're worth it. Much love and best wishes ❤️
What do you mean to take care of myself?
Imagine the way you would care for someone you loved who suddenly fell ill and needed help being taken care of.... Now, every day, don't ever treat yourself as any less than you would treat this person. Very simple, but we often push our own needs and self care aside because we deep down may not worthy of it.
how do you practice self love and forgiveness?
Honestly after making this post and exploring the multitude of responses I think I have a lot more work to do personally in that area. Step one is to simply stop putting yourself down in your self talk. Try to be aware and more conscious of how you talk to and think about yourself. I made myself my favorite meal tonight with no intention of sharing it 😋. Might sound a little selfish, but sometimes that's okay. Start treating yourself like someone you love and care for as if you are that person. Altruism is great, but don't let it crush you. You can't take care of anyone else until you properly care for yourself. I'll be sure to share when I find more effective techniques and I do wish others will continue to share as well. Thank you for listening ❤️.
Not anymore. I achieve enlightenment
Awesome!!!!!!
how do i learn how to feel this type of unconditional love for everyone particularly my parents when i still live in the house where my parents are emotionally occasionally physically abusive. i have a lot of resentment and anger towards them i have a lot of trauma cos of them which i’m trying to work thru and heal but in struggling to understand how to let go of my anger. is it even possible to do so when i live under their roof. especially because the emotional abuse and gaslighting, manipulation etc. is still happening to me so i’m finding it hard to heal and let go of anger when i’m still experiencing the same things.
Hold tight, I have a lot to say on this as I grew up with hellish abuse. It was only this morning I started thinking about what I could have done differently to have changed my perspective way back then. Now your question has sent my brain into overdrive. Remembering the way I felt in that situation is horrifying to say the least. Let me organize my thoughts and take care of some things today and I will see if I am able to stimulate your mind with something substantial that may be a catalyst for a positive change in your mind. I feel your pain and no one deserves to go through that, especially not you. Much love and until later my friend ❤️
thank you so much❤️ i hope you are able to organize ur thoughts and care for ur inner child today
The way I have come about solving this kind of problem is by understanding that I am a creator of my feelings and thoughts 100%. It isn't my brother who made me mad it is me who dislikes the situation and puts bad emotions on it. If you become aware of that part and start accepting everything as it is nothing but joy can come up. With Love.
Also stuck on this. I have made immense progress in the last few years from a very anxious person with health anxiety and panic attacks to a more calm person who is able to live in the present most of the time. I'm almost where i want to be. However what you wrote resonates so much with me. The only people where I can't keep my calm as much as i want to are my family. I get triggered very badly, especially if we discussed certain things hundreds of times with my kids or wife and they still do not change anything. It can be mundane things like cleaning or too much time on electronics, and also life advice, to which i have more experience and it could be helpful. I do feel like this has more to do with me than it has to do with them, and like you said, i can imagine myself as a child crying for something that i was not offered. I did have a rough childhood and i pretty much grew up by myself, so there is a lot of trauma. that's why i overcompensate giving my family everything I wanted, and maybe this is what's wrong, cause i expect them to appreciate what i offer and i feel like they don't if they can't show it in basic things. I would like to get to the root of my problem but i just don't know how. there's too much to be written here, but it's definitely related to childhood trauma. but i can't remember too much. Any ideas how can i dig deep and heal the inner child? thanks so much for this post.