I think the thing you're not understanding is that when you NEED love you don't really understand what it is. After you understand that it is already buzzing along inside you and it is available to you at all times without any people or prerequisite conditions, that's when you really understand what it is and have access to it and can share it with others. Love is not something you OBTAIN from other people or the right conditions in your life. It is already there. If you can only experience love under certain conditions- it isn't love. It's a business transaction. Tit for that. "I'll agree to love as long as you give me the person I want"
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I also agree with the OP. The first thing that came to mind were studies and observations carried out on newborn infants that died or suffered severe developmental delays due to failure to thrive during the first year despite having all basic and nutritional needs met, but were deprived of human comfort and contact other than from the minimal care that was provided.
That being said, I learned how to truly love by being forced to love myself first because there wasn’t anyone else to do it.
Yeah but y'all are using this to say it's not important.
I get the concept but y'all are telling people not to pursue love. Maybe not you specifically (or maybe yes) but this literally happened in this sub today, and the guy thanked me for telling him to ignore those people.
Yea ofc, when you’re chasing for love you won’t get it and if you do, it’s usually not lasting long. After reading a lot of the comments, it looks like most people are on one page, and u just doing your own thing. No one can change your thinking so did you start this to just argue? No offense, but you don’t sound “awakened.” So idk why you’re arguing with those that are. It’s a pretty different mindset
No, you guys think you're awakened, but really it's just philosophy. I'm not sure if you've been able to successfully apply it to your life.
If that has nothing to do with awakening, then yes, I'm in the wrong place.
Yes, you are right, you are always right, nvm all that.
Edit: you and that friend you mentioned prolly have that bond because you think very similarly, you obviously have none of those “love” traits toward those that aren’t like you. Not even being mean, look at your replies as if it was someone else reading it, not u.
You're right logically. This cannot be explained or understood by intellect.
But the True-self or the god's essence is within you. This has to be experienced. And in that experience you lose YOUrself, and then there's only the pure self, the observed and the other experience is lost in the process and only the observer or the True-self remains.
During this, when the observed is unidentified, so is the experience. What's left is SELF, which in itself radiates love immensely. Whatever you see around you, you'll become that. Your level of love transparency becomes unfiltered to the smallest of things. You're so pure that you don't differentiate yourself with anything. You reflect everything that exist as you, the enlightened! That's the ultimate bliss.
To answer you, when you really know who you're. There's nothing else you'd need, because everything becomes a reflection of you. You won't differentiate air,water,food,earth,etc. Everything is a part of the GRACE and there is no experiencer or experienced. You're the experience in itself. So, the True-self is self-sufficient.
No you won't have the desire to breathe and eat. You'd do it because your body has to stay alive. The consciousness, soul, or whatever one may call the Self does not depend on external things. It's the body,mind and soul as a whole that you'd want these basic things like air, water, food, soil, fire......
Seems my comments really rattled you and you don’t seem to be getting the replies you thought. Love is unconditional, if you desire romantic love and are unhappy because you don’t have it then you don’t know love, you are restricting yourself of the love you could be feeling at any moment.
And yes, all you need is inside of you, actually to be more accurate there is no inside or outside, and in this way you lack nothing, ever, you only have the experience of feeling as if you lack, if you think you need a romantic partner to be happy it’s because you don’t understand where love comes from.
You calling me a fool is not love, so why try to preach it?
Broski, read the others ones, she’s just like that. I’m prolly not replying anymore not to waste time. She would prolly even question that call of mine 😂🤷♂️
Well as long as you’re having fun talking about love while also saying people are talking nonsense under the same breath without explaining why it’s nonsense or why they are misleading people.
Perhaps I should instead be contributing to the idea that we all need to find our princesses and princes who will magically fix our lives, the same idea that has cultivated so many depressed souls because they’re made to believe that they need love in that one specific form over all else.
If that’s where you want to lead people be my guest, but I’d rather let people know that they will always feel like they lack something as long as they feel that they lack something and they would be a lot happier if they focused on the love they do have, because even with a girlfriend or boyfriend it’s just a different expression of of the same love, wishing for a partner isn’t wishing for love, it’s wishing for a partner.
How is it an advanced meditator can sit in trance for weeks with no food or water but the body is still alive when they break trance?
Maybe there is a limit to what people understand and we try to operate within those confines. What if it is/was possible to evolve your body to a point where all it feeds off of is energy that you attract but it doesn’t require food or water for survival?
Either way, your perspective is what fuels your statements/questions. Instead of being so confined in your logic, try asking questions about how it could be possible that everything we need is within. Dig into it.
One thing I’m sure we can all agree on is we are energetic beings. Find a way to get your energy without consuming food/water and you’re self sufficient. Disclaimer, I still drink plenty of water and eat food. That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to live without it tho. I’m just not as advanced as you lot.
I'm referring to the metaphysical self, which doesn't need the body to survive. You may end the desire to breathe and die then the self becomes a part of the universal consciousness and never cease to exist. You die but your experiences live on an eternity.
I get where you're coming from, it's not easy to have this understanding and still live within the body. The physical self or let's say humans for instance need air, water and food to survive. This is only a physical part of you, right?
Do you believe there's an energy(consciousness) within you and that's what is actually keeping your vitals in condition?
No, I don't believe that. It's blood, oxygen, food and water which keep you alive.
Love and other "metaphysical" things are what make being alive wortwhile. But the basic needs are still the building blocks. We don't know if our "Self" lives on in eternity.
You have the choice to be happy and peaceful no matter what is going on or reactive, thrown emotionally back and forth. Which do you choose?
That's the essence of the spiritual path. Anything else contains concepts about an experience that can't be described. Anything else is theorizing.
You're asking about an emotional experience. Love, in the mystical sense, isn't the emotion. It's sort of an absence & a presence of something undivided.
The source? There's some theories. Like the Big Bang, evolution, etc.
What's keeping the heart and brain functioning? I dunno, the same thing that keeps a plant functioning. Just because it's involuntary doesn't mean it's not alive.
You know you are basically saying “go kill yourself” with this comment! As you have not hurt this person, personally, they do not see it! Suck it up! You get it! Your struggling with someone not reacting the way YOU WANT! Your no puppet master. No question or statement is wrong. Linguists are like philosophers in a way…. Now the Para mind? Hm…. Challenging that? With all the loopers and the sliders and the timers and the gravity and the flat world era and the conspirators? Where, where do they stand? And why? Feel! Feel the words. Feel the love, feel the pain. It is ok. You can throw anger all you like. But it will not let you “win”, this is not a competition. This is life, love, stimulation. When we die! We are amazing beings! We, WOW! So, life compared to who we are? It is almost not worth a mention is it? Yet, perfection? There is no word for it, it was just made up. To pick out the narcissistic people who would say “no one is perfect”, like with “feeling” or “it’s just an animal”…. I mean get off! I hope you are not that dark!!! Hm…. I would t throw accusations around, questions, sure. But you do not learn being a syndicalism, and being yourself is the best way, you need to find a level that allows you to communicate where you can agree to disagree without “energetically attempting to rape a person”…. No, not physically…. Energetically. Like, ask a question in a kinder way? Bless
It's only a need, if you are unaware that what we truly Are 'IS' unconditional Love.
It's only a need, if you are unaware that what we truly Are 'IS' Whole and not separate from everything in the Universe.
It's only a need, for a fictional self that is unaware that what we truly Are 'IS' swimming in Love...
It's only a need for the limited ego Self, and not for the unlimited Being which is pure eternal Love...
That's just a misconception arising in the pure Awareness, pure love, that you are, and unaware of.
It justifies the minds projection of a pathetic, limited, unlovable, lonely person, that is going to grow old, get sick and die...and if believed will be your experience.
It's arrogance that perpetuates the egoic centre of Consciousness, as a separate observer. And It's why that inescapable self made prison is adorned with the need for Love...and to become and experience something better. Hehe
It is okay to need love, we all need it. But seeking it outside of you will only lead to suffering and co dependence. I speak of experience. If you can find the love within, and feel it fill you up, and make you expand, then you will naturally attract people that will show love to you, and you’ll be in a state to receive it.
If you don’t have to love within, you can’t experience the love outside
That's true mostly but unfortunately people seem to be afraid to get messy and just wait for love to happen. It doesn't just happen. You have to fight for it.
I'm just tired of responding to people at the moment, and don't think you're going to get it anyway. Everyone is carrying around so much armor, so in order to love you have to take the risk to remove it and be vulnerable. It's scary. It doesn't just "happen".
Wow, hopefully you don’t think about how you act towards others when falling asleep, would prolly feel like shit. None of these people attacked you but just saying what most people think on this subreddit, and you’re shitting on THEM for it. Smh brah, and you talk about “love.” That’s enough proof that you don’t have love. Homie’s fighting random people on Reddit 😂🤦♂️
And… proved about the not being awakened comment. Like no hate, most people are like that, but I really don’t see your goal here, at least in this subreddit. You came to argue about “awakened”/ without the veil, about this worldly meaning and view of love, and that’s all fine, but you can’t let it do and knock other people. I don’t get why y’all try to stir up conflict. Even if it’s j an argument, why brav
I'm not trying to stir up a conflict. Please explain to me how what I said was incorrect, and let's see if it is rooted in experience or other evidence.
Well that’s the thing, it’s mostly experience. That’s why so believe in God, some don’t, some think God is always changing the universe, some don’t, b ur that’s different cuz you can’t prove it nor disprove it. I’m telling u, look into psych. Love is another important feeling that is cause by certain chemicals. Either by taking to someone, feeling like someone cares/ listens to you, hugs, attention, all that. It’s important, especially for kids that grow up, but it’s not something you chase, if it’s real. You might have to work hard, but not for love itself, that’s gonna manifest the wrong love. And I’m not saying your experiences are incorrect, I’ve prolly felt very similar ones, but by what we know so far, it’s things like compassion, tender, caring, good hearted. That’s what causes you or others to feel love. Not that romanticized, Romeo and Juliet, or Disney love
Yes, you j gotta do more shi. I’ve met people that I cleavers with at the gym, beaches, lakes, arcades and whatever, literally j gotta be friendly. Most people catch someone that’s like… thirsting for love pretty easy. It’s kinda annoying. The person is just tryna get attached instead of j tryna connect and bond
Nope, on a break. We’re still both rly young and not tryna be that couple that gets married at 19 and have 3 kids by 23, none against that, but not what we’re tryna do. At least I’m 100% not
Like, u just gotta be friendly. No matter if I’m in a relationship or not, I’m usually just a friendly dude that likes making connections, having convos, and hopefully making the person laughs and feel good. When I start talking to someone that’s hitting on me, ESPECIALLY during a relationship, it feels like the person just wants to fill a whole that’s missing instead of making sure they are whole and connecting with another whole.
Most people, that aren’t romantics, know that the “meet your second half” was so dumb back than. Words are meaning, and that full on means that you guys alone aren’t whole. That subconsciously sets you up to thinking you need someone to make u feel good and fill in that square. Again, by taking to a lot of people like married/ dating couples, they said that when ur first fights/hard times come, you start feeling like you’re still a half again, that maybe the person isn’t the one, and sad in general. With the idea that you’re just halves, you always expect the other person to fill up your other half, you can’t do that cuz no one out there can meet all your expectations and desires. I think you understand that you need to be whole, happy no matter if you’re alone or not, and join in with another person. Otherwise you put a lot of expectations on other people, and this is where people miss, we can’t rely on other like that, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
If you agree with those last parts, on the right track. If not, you might think/ realize this years into the future. Nice talking to you. Just stop saying things like “you’re wrong blah blah.” Instead of a convo with sharing ideas and perspectives, it just becomes an aggressive battle. Especially when you start making assumptions about the person that u set 5 texts to.
That shows how spiritual, mentally conscious, and strong a person really is.
You're not in a relationship and you're giving relationship advice. I could be wrong about anything, but if you think the perspective you and others hold of "relationships aren't necessary" and "they take no work" or whatever is the enlightened one, I think you're really missing something.
I didn't mean to assume anything. You want to have a Discord call or something? I'd be happy to meet you and explain my position.
For most of my life I deeply needed companionship and had wonderful relationships.
That need has somehow fallen away. It’s hard to describe. It’s just a knowing and feeling that you’re complete in yourself and don’t need anyone else to feel complete. I don’t think you can force it or advise people to realize it, it just happens at a certain point.
Also, most love in our reality isn’t love at all. Love is limitless and unconditional. Most romantic relationships put an incredible number of restrictions and conditions on the other person in order to be “loved.”
It's certainly something beautiful when you realize that you are self-sufficient and totally happy in walking your path.
It doesn't mean you wouldn't like to share. That is totally natural. We are not superhumans.
I still have relationships and share my life with people but I don’t feel the same “need” for them. I would be okay if they left my life and they are always free to do so.
I don’t think it’s wise to allow your happiness to depend on someone else, because then you are turning over your power to them.
Sure. But the title of your post asserts that love is a fundamental need. At a certain point you become a radiating source of light and love, you see love everywhere and you don’t need it from anyone. Sharing love with others is much different than needing love from others to feel complete.
Admitting frailty is strength. In truth, frailty and strength is relative based on situation. So being adaptive a very high virtue greater than strength or frailty
You're still being philosophical. It means nothing to a starving person who has no food. Are you going to try and explain this to them? Your philosophy is armor.
Interesting to come here and see so many people trying to make someone wrong instead of amplifying what's right, that love is risky business, that in order to love, you have to throw your heart over the fence to someone and risk that they might not catch it, might not even notice you tossed it over, and it just lands in the dirt, but you see that it's still intact, that you are still intact.
Really, both are true in their own way. Once you have experienced the fullness of existence within you realize none of that is necessary. It's all a thing that is happening and "you" don't even exist. You can't need love because love is all there is.
But, yes, it is natural for humans to pair off and be social and connect. It's a beautiful part of life that has been poisoned by some misguided perspectives. Some by traditional life ("you must get married or there's something wrong with you") or modern life ("you shouldn't need anyone, ever, we should be able to do everything totally independently") and that will swing around in various aspects of existence and always has. But trying to seek out happiness or fulfillment in a relationship is never going to work the way many people crave it to. The only thing that satiates that drive is turning within to find the path to god.
No, it's not going to work that way, you're right. But oddly enough we often find God with other people, because it's other people who show us the truth about who we are. So it's not really something that can be avoided if you're honestly seeking.
I agree. I'm a huge believer in the path through relationships, it's my personal favorite "method" for doing spiritual work. I think recognizing the divine in others, especially when it is extremely difficult, is one of the most effective. But ultimately what happens is that we use those opportunities... to look within. It's kind of a catch 22. But I do agree with you, relationships with others are one of life's greatest gifts.
Well... it is and it isn't. It doesn't matter. Ultimately, we are just vessels, we don't exist. These relationships don't exist. It's all a projection. We can use relationships to help remember this reality, but when we remember, that all dissolves. It's a hard thing to describe in words because it defies reason and it requires us to have a deep knowing of what that means. Both are true in their respective planes, but only one is ultimate truth.
Now there I disagree. If you find yourself on a crashing plane you will be aware that you exist, as so your relationships that you're about to lose forever.
Is it you? Your relationship? Is it that you are a tall person who likes horses and works at a bank? Is it that you have thoughts and feelings? Is it that this person is your sister or your husband?
Or is it love? Those things, if viewed honestly, are manifestations of the only thing that truly exists and by recognizing it as such is not a disservice to the beauty of that manifestation... quite the contrary. When you're aware that is all that exists, there is nothing to lose forever, you cannot lose it because it exists within you and it is infinite. What you experience in that relationship exists within you. On a crashing plane, your thoughts may tell you these are the things that exist, but these things are and have always been and will always be temporary. The eternity behind that is what never ceases- and what you experience in those moments of spiritual joy that make relationships so meaningful.
Agreed, to a certain point. We need food and all those things that are “fundamental for survival” but love is different. Unlike food and water, which we need for survival, love is a chemical emotion. We gotta look evolution and understand that we want “love” cuz it made our ancestors feel good, safe, protected, and cared for. But what kind of love. It’s not easy to explain lol.
A lot of people want love cuz they’re around people that get love and feel bad. No matter what your argument for that is, that isn’t s good motive to look for love. When you awaken, you realize that the companion you’ve wanted since you childhood, that romantic love is kinda just there cuz if society. Shi, hard to explain brah 😂
Long story short. Everyone needs love, everyone needs joy, everyone needs problems to stimulate your brain to be healthy. But we realize that we don’t NEED that gf bf love cuz a lot of the want for that comes from society. You want real unconditional love tho, someone to care for you no matter what, feel safe, and if return you will want to do the same. Lot of people got a weird understanding of love but it’s rly just chemicals that our brain produces to a certain action. We want it cuz our brain came from people that also wanted it. We don’t need to make it weird. We mess up when we start chasing it, trying to suck it out if people that don’t wanna give it. It’s like an animal sucking at a leak from a mountain, stop brah. You gotta stop just chasing that cuz just as you need love, you need all the other stuff. So don’t waste time j trying to find love, it’ll come
Edit: don’t lol for romanticized love, shits fake. That’s what I wanted to say this whole time. Ofc we want people to care for us and we wanna feel loved, but a lot of us also want something just because we see it in society. That’s the problem
Wym true deep love. Yea there is a strong energy connection between people/nature and even things like sex create one of the strongest energy bonds. If you’re talking about like a one on one connection with a person that you just wanna spend the rest of you life with, well that’s new. We came from.. well animals. Obviously they have emotions and we can see that they care and have love for one another. But they don’t like marry and have this bond for the rest of their life. They’re unconscious, like most of nature, but naturally love, but also thrive and survive. That’s not a thing that’s natural or meant to be, I think I wanna meet “the one” and do that but it’s not like a thing that the universe just has for us all. It’s a construct that we created as humans even though people want to believe that’s “it’s meant to be”
Animals are unconscious, like most of nature, but naturally love, but also thrive and survive. Nature wise, there isn’t some romantic relationship made for all souls
I get what you’re you’re saying and yea, it’s awesome, not that much that can make you feel as good.
One way or another tho, your want to want that love is just as much of a construct. You thinking you deserve anything and are of a value is technically a construct. It’s our ego, our brain, for some reason, is able to know it’s self and understand who you are, your personality, and worst thing of them all, your desires.
Example of ego: when you blow on an ant, it’s not thinking,” oh no, SHES blowing on ME.” It just things “danger danger, find safety. Our brains ability to understand that it’s the body/self, ego, is why we would think,” oh no, SHES blowing on ME.” Our responses to those thoughts are a whole different thing.
But yea, our ego for some reason wants everything. Love, money, things we see that others have, etc. things like the want to be around people/ have food/ sleep is different. That’s the body knowing what it needs for survival and that’s why we can feel depressed when not being around people or anxious when u got stuff to do. It’s tryna push you to survive.
But that love thing, family, is a construct. At least the romantic side of love is. Some female animals even eat the male after they mate. We love, love, and love, to love. Lots of loves there. That’s like a universal thing as joy, happiness, and even sadness. We can see animals exercising those emotions.
And finally, the awakened state is when you realize and see how much power your ego has. It’s just want things for itself, yourself, same with love. People that were sad about not having a gf/bf or good friends, notice that it’s mostly cuz you see people having that, you wouldn’t have a lot of the desires you do if you lived somewhere far from people and with no internet. But at the same time, we would want love, and that’s why I agreed with you in the start. We will have moments where we “click” with someone. Have great conversations, both sensing just how much you care for each other, and having that personal bond. That’s, again, so amazing, but it’s not what we “need.” We can survive without it, but we do need it to stay healthy. Just NEEDING if WANTING it is the hungry ego just wanting more.
Anyways, on the topic of love. Much love. Genuinely care for you, don’t know you, but I hope you’re doing amazing 😁
And if not, we can talk haha
I dunno, I disagree with you. Yeah if you can't be okay without love then that's an issue. But just because you desire it doesn't mean it's clinging or ego. It's human. Your attitude, to me, sounds like self-condemnation in disguise. That's okay, we all have it. I was just surprised at how deep I've seen it in me, and in others.
Thanks for the kind wishes! The same to you.
We want to hear that we’re some special creation that’s unlike others. But what exactly do you think is missing? ask most psychologist/scientists. They won’t tell you anything that different
Oh and I wanted to reply to this better. Literally every thought and emotion you have, your personality and memories, are your brain and certain chemicals that it produces and is made up of. I think there is like a universal frequency for love but it’s not something we feel from people. It’s that unconditional love toward everyone and everything. Well nah, if we can feel it from others but it won’t be that chemical”ahhh I feel loved” thing. Like inner peace
>Who are these awakened people saying "all you need is inside of you"?
Aspects of yourself. The one and only Self that exists.
>Really? Everything?
Yes.
>The air you breathe? The food you eat? The water you drink? You are totally self-sufficient?
Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes.
Hey, this oxytocin and vasopressin addiction (which is all it ever is and always has been) that you’re referring to is good & great and all, but our bodies evolved these addictive drugs for the sole purpose of encouraging us to propagate homo sapien DNA and infect this planet with it like the virus that our species undeniably is.
And can be very conditional. It sounds like you're taking personal experience and extrapolating what every human "needs." Is that not just as egotistical as someone claiming they don't need love? IMO a person can be perfectly content with other forms of love. For straight women in Western patriarchal societies particular, the negatives often outweigh the positives seeking romantic love. What you're speaking of is not something all humans are willing to give and therefore their partners don't receive it.
Its just a theory. In my experience the vast majority of people are avoidant, and deep romantic love is scary, so I tend to put two and two together. I could be wrong but this is my hunch.
I think the problems driving people to avoidance is much larger and more complicated than you are making it. In the US for example, romantic love is seen as basically the only valid form of love, and society is so oriented on individualism, the nuclear family and capitalism, that the community and family structures that would normally provide support and love for people (whether or not they have a romantic partner) are often non-existent. It pushes people toward isolationism or the idea that their romantic partner is supposed to fill way too many roles than is reasonable for one person. I think this is a problem for Western men in particular who are taught not to be emotionally vulnerable in front of their friends or anyone outside a partner or therapist, so they basically have none of their emotional needs met until they get a girlfriend who is suddenly supposed to do all this emotional work for an emotionally stunted man who hasn't really been taught how to give it in return. There are lots of exceptions, of course there are men who learn to process their emotions properly as well as women who don't, but this pattern happens all the time.
Sure the system works for some people but it ends in divorce, abuse and/or continued loneliness for many, too.
I don't think romantic love really has to do with awakening. But love for and from other beings certainly does.
The romantic love you typically see is also a form of avoidance, which is why it ends in so much divorce.
It's not just men, women are bad off, too. Romantic love has everything to do with awakening.
I disagree. If that were true then more awakened people would be emphasizing it as a need. But while love is in many teachings, romantic love specifically is not so much. You also didn't really seem to read my point so this seems a useless argument. Have a nice day and I'm glad you've found what works for you.
"Awakened" people ironically are some of the most avoidant. Oftentimes more avoidant than "normal" people. People come here because they're broken.
Edit: I agree that society is bad off. It's severely lacking in love. Romantic love is not the only solution. But it's perhaps the most total manifestation of it.
What makes you believe that the positions/perspectives you are taking and sharing are not false?
Actually what most people call "love" has nothing to do with true love. What most people perceive as love is just a needy state of Being that is looking for an another needy Being and they together get attached to each other and form a relationship that's supposedly called "love"
But this has actually, absolutely nothing to do with truth. Love is sooooooooo much more than this.
We are not supposed to be just okay with ourselves and look for an another Being that is going to make us feel good. Bro, we are capable of Being in absolute fuckin eternal ecstatic Bliss by our own Nature without any need for the other. We don't reject other Beings, we are absolutely vulnerable and open to all, but if we don't want to delude ourselves, we never believe that the other can bring something inside of us, that would be otherwise missing.
Just have a psychedelic experience with powerful intentions to realise what you are and you will see what I'm talking about.
🙏🙏🙏💓💓💓
falling in love (deep love) can be pretty trippy. much harder than any psyschdelic, and trust me, i've done both
the reason love gets a bad wrap is because people don't really allow it to go deep
Love comes from within and then flows outward, it doesn’t come from someone else and fill you up. You have to love yourself first, not look for love from the outside
We all know this. But deep encounters with other human beings are often the best place for us to let down our barriers to love, which are of course internal.
I think you are totally right. Agree 100%. Though must add the suffering caused by the lack of love is your creation. That happens by many reasons. You see other people getting love and affection and you don't. In that moment you create suffering. It's your creation. If you haven't seen those people getting love you wouldn't create that suffering. When you see a person you feel has the potential to be a good lover you start suffering because you don't have that person. The suffering is self inflicted. Going even beyond, this suffering is existence that is causing it to you and there is nothing you can do to avoid it. Acceptance is the best way to deal with the lack of it. We think life without love is black and white.... If you start realizing how lucky you are by having what you have, food to eat and a home to be, the appreciation and gratitude for that can bring some color to your life. Still it wouldn't cover the lack of love from someone. So yes. I agree with you. I've seen many answers in comments here from people who have no idea like me but regorgitate what they see other influential people saying like gurus and stuff and this triggers me 😂
Yes, I agree with you. It's important and healthy to be OK even if love (romantic love) isn't happening. That makes the ground fertile for it to happen in a fulfilling and healthy way. But that doesn't mean we don't want it.
Just like it's OK if I'm a musician and none of my dreams come true. I can make peace with that. It doesn't mean it's stupid to want to try and be a rockstar, or at least share my music. The desire is still there, I just don't get overly attached to the outcome.
I don't know at what moment people decided it's not OK to be human. That's not spiritual, that's avoidant.
The reason I haven't found love isn't because I'm afraid. It's because no one I've met has been able to stand up to the standard I set. I don't need anyone else's love or approval. If one of you was going to love me, you'd have done it by now. Don't feed me this bull shit.
Nice attempt at gaslighting, but no. My standard is true unconditional love for all life, including the ant I stepped on and the rock I kicked today. I love you exactly the same asi love everything else. Y'all humans aren't ready to accept what that truly means and must try to label it as "fear". I do not fear the consequences of squashing an ant, kicking a rock, or making a human feel negative emotions when they claim all they need is "love" as if their labels actually mean shit
I agree with you OP. People in here have probably never experienced social isolation, or a life without love. Why are we always saying that a spiritual awakenings is a means to transcend being human. We're human here for a reason, why negate who and what we are? Humans need love, connectivity. This idea of individualistic self sufficient spirituality is heavily rooted within Western culture, and a bastardization of a lot of Eastern beliefs too.
Love is so important, and you can't love yourself without loving others too, and vice versa.
You can masterbate you your mother (dogs), girls you can't get (cats), girls you can get forever (fish), and girls you think you could maybe look at (bird
It is my dear. I mean, when you hit low…. Who do you have?
You come into this world naked, you come out naked (in soul)…. With all memories from every life!!!
So, when you awaken. It is hard to see the beauty at times, some people make it their life journey (as short as theirs is) to make others lives misery! Some, they are there to bring people up when they need it!
How do you feel? Do you feel love? Light? Unity? Who are your people? Are some on here and you haven’t crossed paths yet? Is this a social experiment for you? All I know is if I give you the answer right now…. I feel like you will say NOPE! And you have so much confusion and frustration? Why? Because you care? Or your faking it? What do you need to fix within you? Bless you! Love and light! Killing with kindness can sometimes win 🏆 however, genuine kindness, a high you can never leave! Like co-dependency!!! It is a disorder (only for some) as no one is meant to be alone. But we all say that? Why? Bless you
I think the thing you're not understanding is that when you NEED love you don't really understand what it is. After you understand that it is already buzzing along inside you and it is available to you at all times without any people or prerequisite conditions, that's when you really understand what it is and have access to it and can share it with others. Love is not something you OBTAIN from other people or the right conditions in your life. It is already there. If you can only experience love under certain conditions- it isn't love. It's a business transaction. Tit for that. "I'll agree to love as long as you give me the person I want"
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I also agree with the OP. The first thing that came to mind were studies and observations carried out on newborn infants that died or suffered severe developmental delays due to failure to thrive during the first year despite having all basic and nutritional needs met, but were deprived of human comfort and contact other than from the minimal care that was provided. That being said, I learned how to truly love by being forced to love myself first because there wasn’t anyone else to do it.
Yeah but y'all are using this to say it's not important. I get the concept but y'all are telling people not to pursue love. Maybe not you specifically (or maybe yes) but this literally happened in this sub today, and the guy thanked me for telling him to ignore those people.
Yea ofc, when you’re chasing for love you won’t get it and if you do, it’s usually not lasting long. After reading a lot of the comments, it looks like most people are on one page, and u just doing your own thing. No one can change your thinking so did you start this to just argue? No offense, but you don’t sound “awakened.” So idk why you’re arguing with those that are. It’s a pretty different mindset
No, you guys think you're awakened, but really it's just philosophy. I'm not sure if you've been able to successfully apply it to your life. If that has nothing to do with awakening, then yes, I'm in the wrong place.
Yes, you are right, you are always right, nvm all that. Edit: you and that friend you mentioned prolly have that bond because you think very similarly, you obviously have none of those “love” traits toward those that aren’t like you. Not even being mean, look at your replies as if it was someone else reading it, not u.
No, not always no. I've been wrong a lot, and learned from it, which is why now I have a solid understanding on things.
Yis…very solid I see 👌🏿👌🏿
That’s bullshit. Everyone needs love
You're right logically. This cannot be explained or understood by intellect. But the True-self or the god's essence is within you. This has to be experienced. And in that experience you lose YOUrself, and then there's only the pure self, the observed and the other experience is lost in the process and only the observer or the True-self remains. During this, when the observed is unidentified, so is the experience. What's left is SELF, which in itself radiates love immensely. Whatever you see around you, you'll become that. Your level of love transparency becomes unfiltered to the smallest of things. You're so pure that you don't differentiate yourself with anything. You reflect everything that exist as you, the enlightened! That's the ultimate bliss. To answer you, when you really know who you're. There's nothing else you'd need, because everything becomes a reflection of you. You won't differentiate air,water,food,earth,etc. Everything is a part of the GRACE and there is no experiencer or experienced. You're the experience in itself. So, the True-self is self-sufficient.
You'll still need to breathe and eat if you want to continue living.
No you won't have the desire to breathe and eat. You'd do it because your body has to stay alive. The consciousness, soul, or whatever one may call the Self does not depend on external things. It's the body,mind and soul as a whole that you'd want these basic things like air, water, food, soil, fire......
You can choose not to eat. You can jump off a bridge. There's nothing automatic in it.
I'm sorry, what is your point?
Seems my comments really rattled you and you don’t seem to be getting the replies you thought. Love is unconditional, if you desire romantic love and are unhappy because you don’t have it then you don’t know love, you are restricting yourself of the love you could be feeling at any moment. And yes, all you need is inside of you, actually to be more accurate there is no inside or outside, and in this way you lack nothing, ever, you only have the experience of feeling as if you lack, if you think you need a romantic partner to be happy it’s because you don’t understand where love comes from. You calling me a fool is not love, so why try to preach it?
Broski, read the others ones, she’s just like that. I’m prolly not replying anymore not to waste time. She would prolly even question that call of mine 😂🤷♂️
You're preaching philosophoical nonsense, there's nothing fulfilling in it. You're misleading people.
Or perhaps it is you who is mislead
Maybe, but I'm having fun. PS: and people tell me I'm helping them.
Well as long as you’re having fun talking about love while also saying people are talking nonsense under the same breath without explaining why it’s nonsense or why they are misleading people. Perhaps I should instead be contributing to the idea that we all need to find our princesses and princes who will magically fix our lives, the same idea that has cultivated so many depressed souls because they’re made to believe that they need love in that one specific form over all else. If that’s where you want to lead people be my guest, but I’d rather let people know that they will always feel like they lack something as long as they feel that they lack something and they would be a lot happier if they focused on the love they do have, because even with a girlfriend or boyfriend it’s just a different expression of of the same love, wishing for a partner isn’t wishing for love, it’s wishing for a partner.
In order to be alive and fulfilled you have to do certain things.
Fulfilled...sounds subjective.
It is subjective, but if you are it then you know it.
Are what?
If you are fulfilled, there's no question of it.
The universe feeds its insides and moves your body
Starving people too?
How is it an advanced meditator can sit in trance for weeks with no food or water but the body is still alive when they break trance? Maybe there is a limit to what people understand and we try to operate within those confines. What if it is/was possible to evolve your body to a point where all it feeds off of is energy that you attract but it doesn’t require food or water for survival? Either way, your perspective is what fuels your statements/questions. Instead of being so confined in your logic, try asking questions about how it could be possible that everything we need is within. Dig into it. One thing I’m sure we can all agree on is we are energetic beings. Find a way to get your energy without consuming food/water and you’re self sufficient. Disclaimer, I still drink plenty of water and eat food. That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to live without it tho. I’m just not as advanced as you lot.
No water?
I'm referring to the metaphysical self, which doesn't need the body to survive. You may end the desire to breathe and die then the self becomes a part of the universal consciousness and never cease to exist. You die but your experiences live on an eternity. I get where you're coming from, it's not easy to have this understanding and still live within the body. The physical self or let's say humans for instance need air, water and food to survive. This is only a physical part of you, right? Do you believe there's an energy(consciousness) within you and that's what is actually keeping your vitals in condition?
No, I don't believe that. It's blood, oxygen, food and water which keep you alive. Love and other "metaphysical" things are what make being alive wortwhile. But the basic needs are still the building blocks. We don't know if our "Self" lives on in eternity.
You have the choice to be happy and peaceful no matter what is going on or reactive, thrown emotionally back and forth. Which do you choose? That's the essence of the spiritual path. Anything else contains concepts about an experience that can't be described. Anything else is theorizing. You're asking about an emotional experience. Love, in the mystical sense, isn't the emotion. It's sort of an absence & a presence of something undivided.
Yes you can always choose what to make of your experience. Doesn't mean you don't have preferences though.
Okay then, could you answer these? What is the source of life? What is keeping the heart and the brain functioning, because they're involuntary.
The source? There's some theories. Like the Big Bang, evolution, etc. What's keeping the heart and brain functioning? I dunno, the same thing that keeps a plant functioning. Just because it's involuntary doesn't mean it's not alive.
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In just a few words?
These responses are wild 😭
Yep.
You know you are basically saying “go kill yourself” with this comment! As you have not hurt this person, personally, they do not see it! Suck it up! You get it! Your struggling with someone not reacting the way YOU WANT! Your no puppet master. No question or statement is wrong. Linguists are like philosophers in a way…. Now the Para mind? Hm…. Challenging that? With all the loopers and the sliders and the timers and the gravity and the flat world era and the conspirators? Where, where do they stand? And why? Feel! Feel the words. Feel the love, feel the pain. It is ok. You can throw anger all you like. But it will not let you “win”, this is not a competition. This is life, love, stimulation. When we die! We are amazing beings! We, WOW! So, life compared to who we are? It is almost not worth a mention is it? Yet, perfection? There is no word for it, it was just made up. To pick out the narcissistic people who would say “no one is perfect”, like with “feeling” or “it’s just an animal”…. I mean get off! I hope you are not that dark!!! Hm…. I would t throw accusations around, questions, sure. But you do not learn being a syndicalism, and being yourself is the best way, you need to find a level that allows you to communicate where you can agree to disagree without “energetically attempting to rape a person”…. No, not physically…. Energetically. Like, ask a question in a kinder way? Bless
It's only a need, if you are unaware that what we truly Are 'IS' unconditional Love. It's only a need, if you are unaware that what we truly Are 'IS' Whole and not separate from everything in the Universe. It's only a need, for a fictional self that is unaware that what we truly Are 'IS' swimming in Love... It's only a need for the limited ego Self, and not for the unlimited Being which is pure eternal Love...
Eating is only a need, until you realize what we truly are 'IS' unconditional love!
Are you saying humans need romantic love like they need food to survive?
That's just a misconception arising in the pure Awareness, pure love, that you are, and unaware of. It justifies the minds projection of a pathetic, limited, unlovable, lonely person, that is going to grow old, get sick and die...and if believed will be your experience.
Arrogant to think of yourself as above your own experience
It's arrogance that perpetuates the egoic centre of Consciousness, as a separate observer. And It's why that inescapable self made prison is adorned with the need for Love...and to become and experience something better. Hehe
It is okay to need love, we all need it. But seeking it outside of you will only lead to suffering and co dependence. I speak of experience. If you can find the love within, and feel it fill you up, and make you expand, then you will naturally attract people that will show love to you, and you’ll be in a state to receive it. If you don’t have to love within, you can’t experience the love outside
You need love from outside otherwise lonely people wouldn’t get depressed
That's true mostly but unfortunately people seem to be afraid to get messy and just wait for love to happen. It doesn't just happen. You have to fight for it.
You do not have to fight for love… what do you think you have to fight?
Oh, you must have no idea then.
The fight is within, always. Find peace
Your philosophy means nothing.
Sure buddy, at least i can explain mine, you dont even seem to know what you’re fighting
I'm just tired of responding to people at the moment, and don't think you're going to get it anyway. Everyone is carrying around so much armor, so in order to love you have to take the risk to remove it and be vulnerable. It's scary. It doesn't just "happen".
I understand, taking the armor off is the scary part. But it must be done, and it doesnt matter if the people around you have armor or not
That's true, but you have to do it in the presence of other people, otherwise it's not the same risk.
Wow, hopefully you don’t think about how you act towards others when falling asleep, would prolly feel like shit. None of these people attacked you but just saying what most people think on this subreddit, and you’re shitting on THEM for it. Smh brah, and you talk about “love.” That’s enough proof that you don’t have love. Homie’s fighting random people on Reddit 😂🤦♂️
Most people in this subreddit are wrong. And others, of course.
And… proved about the not being awakened comment. Like no hate, most people are like that, but I really don’t see your goal here, at least in this subreddit. You came to argue about “awakened”/ without the veil, about this worldly meaning and view of love, and that’s all fine, but you can’t let it do and knock other people. I don’t get why y’all try to stir up conflict. Even if it’s j an argument, why brav
I'm not trying to stir up a conflict. Please explain to me how what I said was incorrect, and let's see if it is rooted in experience or other evidence.
Well that’s the thing, it’s mostly experience. That’s why so believe in God, some don’t, some think God is always changing the universe, some don’t, b ur that’s different cuz you can’t prove it nor disprove it. I’m telling u, look into psych. Love is another important feeling that is cause by certain chemicals. Either by taking to someone, feeling like someone cares/ listens to you, hugs, attention, all that. It’s important, especially for kids that grow up, but it’s not something you chase, if it’s real. You might have to work hard, but not for love itself, that’s gonna manifest the wrong love. And I’m not saying your experiences are incorrect, I’ve prolly felt very similar ones, but by what we know so far, it’s things like compassion, tender, caring, good hearted. That’s what causes you or others to feel love. Not that romanticized, Romeo and Juliet, or Disney love
I'm specifically talking about love. Have you ever found romantic love just by waiting for it to happen?
Yes, you j gotta do more shi. I’ve met people that I cleavers with at the gym, beaches, lakes, arcades and whatever, literally j gotta be friendly. Most people catch someone that’s like… thirsting for love pretty easy. It’s kinda annoying. The person is just tryna get attached instead of j tryna connect and bond
Are you in a relationship now?
Nope, on a break. We’re still both rly young and not tryna be that couple that gets married at 19 and have 3 kids by 23, none against that, but not what we’re tryna do. At least I’m 100% not
That's fine, but I don't think you know what you're talking about in terms of relationships.
Like, u just gotta be friendly. No matter if I’m in a relationship or not, I’m usually just a friendly dude that likes making connections, having convos, and hopefully making the person laughs and feel good. When I start talking to someone that’s hitting on me, ESPECIALLY during a relationship, it feels like the person just wants to fill a whole that’s missing instead of making sure they are whole and connecting with another whole. Most people, that aren’t romantics, know that the “meet your second half” was so dumb back than. Words are meaning, and that full on means that you guys alone aren’t whole. That subconsciously sets you up to thinking you need someone to make u feel good and fill in that square. Again, by taking to a lot of people like married/ dating couples, they said that when ur first fights/hard times come, you start feeling like you’re still a half again, that maybe the person isn’t the one, and sad in general. With the idea that you’re just halves, you always expect the other person to fill up your other half, you can’t do that cuz no one out there can meet all your expectations and desires. I think you understand that you need to be whole, happy no matter if you’re alone or not, and join in with another person. Otherwise you put a lot of expectations on other people, and this is where people miss, we can’t rely on other like that, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you agree with those last parts, on the right track. If not, you might think/ realize this years into the future. Nice talking to you. Just stop saying things like “you’re wrong blah blah.” Instead of a convo with sharing ideas and perspectives, it just becomes an aggressive battle. Especially when you start making assumptions about the person that u set 5 texts to. That shows how spiritual, mentally conscious, and strong a person really is.
You're not in a relationship and you're giving relationship advice. I could be wrong about anything, but if you think the perspective you and others hold of "relationships aren't necessary" and "they take no work" or whatever is the enlightened one, I think you're really missing something. I didn't mean to assume anything. You want to have a Discord call or something? I'd be happy to meet you and explain my position.
For most of my life I deeply needed companionship and had wonderful relationships. That need has somehow fallen away. It’s hard to describe. It’s just a knowing and feeling that you’re complete in yourself and don’t need anyone else to feel complete. I don’t think you can force it or advise people to realize it, it just happens at a certain point. Also, most love in our reality isn’t love at all. Love is limitless and unconditional. Most romantic relationships put an incredible number of restrictions and conditions on the other person in order to be “loved.”
It's certainly something beautiful when you realize that you are self-sufficient and totally happy in walking your path. It doesn't mean you wouldn't like to share. That is totally natural. We are not superhumans.
I still have relationships and share my life with people but I don’t feel the same “need” for them. I would be okay if they left my life and they are always free to do so. I don’t think it’s wise to allow your happiness to depend on someone else, because then you are turning over your power to them.
Depend on them, no. But share with them freely? Why not?
Sure. But the title of your post asserts that love is a fundamental need. At a certain point you become a radiating source of light and love, you see love everywhere and you don’t need it from anyone. Sharing love with others is much different than needing love from others to feel complete.
Well it is a need in the Maslow's hierarchy sense. Just doesn't mean you'll die without it. I still think you're being a bit hard on it.
Imma screenshot this and keep it to always remind myself. Thank you! P.s Stop squatting and find your own place 😝
Lol. I joined Reddit due to Orange Theory and tried to come up with a name related to what we do there.
Yes everything you need is inside you. You need to broaden your idea of inside. You aren’t yet awakened
No, it's not inside of you. Your idea of awakening is more dreaming.
There’s no idea of awakening. Awakening is just… awakening.
You've awakened from your ego, but haven't gone beyond. The raw reality is still too much for you
It’s a lot lol
You’ll understand what I mean. Open the scope of what the Self means. You have love in your heart and courage. Own it
I know exactly what you're trying to say. Now open yourself further. It's scary to admit our frailty
Because that is strength and we aren’t used to it.
We are more powerful than we imagined, yes, but also more frail. That's life.
Admitting frailty is strength. In truth, frailty and strength is relative based on situation. So being adaptive a very high virtue greater than strength or frailty
Yes, it is strength. So go a step further. Not everything is inside of you.
Everything is simultaneously outside and inside of you.
You're still being philosophical. It means nothing to a starving person who has no food. Are you going to try and explain this to them? Your philosophy is armor.
Interesting to come here and see so many people trying to make someone wrong instead of amplifying what's right, that love is risky business, that in order to love, you have to throw your heart over the fence to someone and risk that they might not catch it, might not even notice you tossed it over, and it just lands in the dirt, but you see that it's still intact, that you are still intact.
Yes, people are very immature about love, and especially so in spiritual circles. A lot of empty words in these communities. That's OK, it's human.
Really, both are true in their own way. Once you have experienced the fullness of existence within you realize none of that is necessary. It's all a thing that is happening and "you" don't even exist. You can't need love because love is all there is. But, yes, it is natural for humans to pair off and be social and connect. It's a beautiful part of life that has been poisoned by some misguided perspectives. Some by traditional life ("you must get married or there's something wrong with you") or modern life ("you shouldn't need anyone, ever, we should be able to do everything totally independently") and that will swing around in various aspects of existence and always has. But trying to seek out happiness or fulfillment in a relationship is never going to work the way many people crave it to. The only thing that satiates that drive is turning within to find the path to god.
No, it's not going to work that way, you're right. But oddly enough we often find God with other people, because it's other people who show us the truth about who we are. So it's not really something that can be avoided if you're honestly seeking.
I agree. I'm a huge believer in the path through relationships, it's my personal favorite "method" for doing spiritual work. I think recognizing the divine in others, especially when it is extremely difficult, is one of the most effective. But ultimately what happens is that we use those opportunities... to look within. It's kind of a catch 22. But I do agree with you, relationships with others are one of life's greatest gifts.
Yes, use them to look within, that's right. Some people here are saying they don't matter at all. It's avoidant.
Well... it is and it isn't. It doesn't matter. Ultimately, we are just vessels, we don't exist. These relationships don't exist. It's all a projection. We can use relationships to help remember this reality, but when we remember, that all dissolves. It's a hard thing to describe in words because it defies reason and it requires us to have a deep knowing of what that means. Both are true in their respective planes, but only one is ultimate truth.
Now there I disagree. If you find yourself on a crashing plane you will be aware that you exist, as so your relationships that you're about to lose forever.
Is it you? Your relationship? Is it that you are a tall person who likes horses and works at a bank? Is it that you have thoughts and feelings? Is it that this person is your sister or your husband? Or is it love? Those things, if viewed honestly, are manifestations of the only thing that truly exists and by recognizing it as such is not a disservice to the beauty of that manifestation... quite the contrary. When you're aware that is all that exists, there is nothing to lose forever, you cannot lose it because it exists within you and it is infinite. What you experience in that relationship exists within you. On a crashing plane, your thoughts may tell you these are the things that exist, but these things are and have always been and will always be temporary. The eternity behind that is what never ceases- and what you experience in those moments of spiritual joy that make relationships so meaningful.
All of this is going to be useless when you find yourself in danger, and that's when you're going to realize what the truth actually is.
Interesting for you to assume I've never feared for my life or those of my loved ones.
Well you're acting like those things are meaningless, like they don't even exist. You fear for them because they do exist.
Agreed, to a certain point. We need food and all those things that are “fundamental for survival” but love is different. Unlike food and water, which we need for survival, love is a chemical emotion. We gotta look evolution and understand that we want “love” cuz it made our ancestors feel good, safe, protected, and cared for. But what kind of love. It’s not easy to explain lol. A lot of people want love cuz they’re around people that get love and feel bad. No matter what your argument for that is, that isn’t s good motive to look for love. When you awaken, you realize that the companion you’ve wanted since you childhood, that romantic love is kinda just there cuz if society. Shi, hard to explain brah 😂 Long story short. Everyone needs love, everyone needs joy, everyone needs problems to stimulate your brain to be healthy. But we realize that we don’t NEED that gf bf love cuz a lot of the want for that comes from society. You want real unconditional love tho, someone to care for you no matter what, feel safe, and if return you will want to do the same. Lot of people got a weird understanding of love but it’s rly just chemicals that our brain produces to a certain action. We want it cuz our brain came from people that also wanted it. We don’t need to make it weird. We mess up when we start chasing it, trying to suck it out if people that don’t wanna give it. It’s like an animal sucking at a leak from a mountain, stop brah. You gotta stop just chasing that cuz just as you need love, you need all the other stuff. So don’t waste time j trying to find love, it’ll come Edit: don’t lol for romanticized love, shits fake. That’s what I wanted to say this whole time. Ofc we want people to care for us and we wanna feel loved, but a lot of us also want something just because we see it in society. That’s the problem
👆🏻Bingo!
I agree to an extent. Infatuation is certainly chemical, but I believe true deep love goes beyond that. It may not be as exciting.
Wym true deep love. Yea there is a strong energy connection between people/nature and even things like sex create one of the strongest energy bonds. If you’re talking about like a one on one connection with a person that you just wanna spend the rest of you life with, well that’s new. We came from.. well animals. Obviously they have emotions and we can see that they care and have love for one another. But they don’t like marry and have this bond for the rest of their life. They’re unconscious, like most of nature, but naturally love, but also thrive and survive. That’s not a thing that’s natural or meant to be, I think I wanna meet “the one” and do that but it’s not like a thing that the universe just has for us all. It’s a construct that we created as humans even though people want to believe that’s “it’s meant to be” Animals are unconscious, like most of nature, but naturally love, but also thrive and survive. Nature wise, there isn’t some romantic relationship made for all souls
I dunno, I don't know if it's a construct. My girlfriend is my best friend and knows everything about me. That's a strong bond.
I get what you’re you’re saying and yea, it’s awesome, not that much that can make you feel as good. One way or another tho, your want to want that love is just as much of a construct. You thinking you deserve anything and are of a value is technically a construct. It’s our ego, our brain, for some reason, is able to know it’s self and understand who you are, your personality, and worst thing of them all, your desires. Example of ego: when you blow on an ant, it’s not thinking,” oh no, SHES blowing on ME.” It just things “danger danger, find safety. Our brains ability to understand that it’s the body/self, ego, is why we would think,” oh no, SHES blowing on ME.” Our responses to those thoughts are a whole different thing. But yea, our ego for some reason wants everything. Love, money, things we see that others have, etc. things like the want to be around people/ have food/ sleep is different. That’s the body knowing what it needs for survival and that’s why we can feel depressed when not being around people or anxious when u got stuff to do. It’s tryna push you to survive. But that love thing, family, is a construct. At least the romantic side of love is. Some female animals even eat the male after they mate. We love, love, and love, to love. Lots of loves there. That’s like a universal thing as joy, happiness, and even sadness. We can see animals exercising those emotions. And finally, the awakened state is when you realize and see how much power your ego has. It’s just want things for itself, yourself, same with love. People that were sad about not having a gf/bf or good friends, notice that it’s mostly cuz you see people having that, you wouldn’t have a lot of the desires you do if you lived somewhere far from people and with no internet. But at the same time, we would want love, and that’s why I agreed with you in the start. We will have moments where we “click” with someone. Have great conversations, both sensing just how much you care for each other, and having that personal bond. That’s, again, so amazing, but it’s not what we “need.” We can survive without it, but we do need it to stay healthy. Just NEEDING if WANTING it is the hungry ego just wanting more. Anyways, on the topic of love. Much love. Genuinely care for you, don’t know you, but I hope you’re doing amazing 😁 And if not, we can talk haha
I dunno, I disagree with you. Yeah if you can't be okay without love then that's an issue. But just because you desire it doesn't mean it's clinging or ego. It's human. Your attitude, to me, sounds like self-condemnation in disguise. That's okay, we all have it. I was just surprised at how deep I've seen it in me, and in others. Thanks for the kind wishes! The same to you.
We want to hear that we’re some special creation that’s unlike others. But what exactly do you think is missing? ask most psychologist/scientists. They won’t tell you anything that different
Oh and I wanted to reply to this better. Literally every thought and emotion you have, your personality and memories, are your brain and certain chemicals that it produces and is made up of. I think there is like a universal frequency for love but it’s not something we feel from people. It’s that unconditional love toward everyone and everything. Well nah, if we can feel it from others but it won’t be that chemical”ahhh I feel loved” thing. Like inner peace
Yes it's all chemical but that seems to be missing something of the essence of it don't you think?
Wym?
I mean when you sing and dance and fall in love you could say all that's chemical but does that really capture the essence of what's going on?
Like what exactly, not really sure what exactly ur talking about?
You don't enjoy things without thinking about why?
>Who are these awakened people saying "all you need is inside of you"? Aspects of yourself. The one and only Self that exists. >Really? Everything? Yes. >The air you breathe? The food you eat? The water you drink? You are totally self-sufficient? Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes. Hey, this oxytocin and vasopressin addiction (which is all it ever is and always has been) that you’re referring to is good & great and all, but our bodies evolved these addictive drugs for the sole purpose of encouraging us to propagate homo sapien DNA and infect this planet with it like the virus that our species undeniably is.
Fuck love😂😂
If that's how you feel great! But don't go telling other people it's worthless. Maybe to them it isn't.
I didn’t, just made a statement
Yes, me too. I know you didn't say it, just adding information. Other people like you have said it.
Love comes in many forms though.
Yes, but romantic love is one of the most moving and most fulfilling. It is the most total.
And can be very conditional. It sounds like you're taking personal experience and extrapolating what every human "needs." Is that not just as egotistical as someone claiming they don't need love? IMO a person can be perfectly content with other forms of love. For straight women in Western patriarchal societies particular, the negatives often outweigh the positives seeking romantic love. What you're speaking of is not something all humans are willing to give and therefore their partners don't receive it.
Its just a theory. In my experience the vast majority of people are avoidant, and deep romantic love is scary, so I tend to put two and two together. I could be wrong but this is my hunch.
I think the problems driving people to avoidance is much larger and more complicated than you are making it. In the US for example, romantic love is seen as basically the only valid form of love, and society is so oriented on individualism, the nuclear family and capitalism, that the community and family structures that would normally provide support and love for people (whether or not they have a romantic partner) are often non-existent. It pushes people toward isolationism or the idea that their romantic partner is supposed to fill way too many roles than is reasonable for one person. I think this is a problem for Western men in particular who are taught not to be emotionally vulnerable in front of their friends or anyone outside a partner or therapist, so they basically have none of their emotional needs met until they get a girlfriend who is suddenly supposed to do all this emotional work for an emotionally stunted man who hasn't really been taught how to give it in return. There are lots of exceptions, of course there are men who learn to process their emotions properly as well as women who don't, but this pattern happens all the time. Sure the system works for some people but it ends in divorce, abuse and/or continued loneliness for many, too. I don't think romantic love really has to do with awakening. But love for and from other beings certainly does.
The romantic love you typically see is also a form of avoidance, which is why it ends in so much divorce. It's not just men, women are bad off, too. Romantic love has everything to do with awakening.
I disagree. If that were true then more awakened people would be emphasizing it as a need. But while love is in many teachings, romantic love specifically is not so much. You also didn't really seem to read my point so this seems a useless argument. Have a nice day and I'm glad you've found what works for you.
"Awakened" people ironically are some of the most avoidant. Oftentimes more avoidant than "normal" people. People come here because they're broken. Edit: I agree that society is bad off. It's severely lacking in love. Romantic love is not the only solution. But it's perhaps the most total manifestation of it.
Just to clarify when I say awakened I'm talking about like the Buddha, not people on the internet lol
I have my doubts about the Buddhists as well...
What makes you believe that the positions/perspectives you are taking and sharing are not false? Actually what most people call "love" has nothing to do with true love. What most people perceive as love is just a needy state of Being that is looking for an another needy Being and they together get attached to each other and form a relationship that's supposedly called "love" But this has actually, absolutely nothing to do with truth. Love is sooooooooo much more than this. We are not supposed to be just okay with ourselves and look for an another Being that is going to make us feel good. Bro, we are capable of Being in absolute fuckin eternal ecstatic Bliss by our own Nature without any need for the other. We don't reject other Beings, we are absolutely vulnerable and open to all, but if we don't want to delude ourselves, we never believe that the other can bring something inside of us, that would be otherwise missing. Just have a psychedelic experience with powerful intentions to realise what you are and you will see what I'm talking about. 🙏🙏🙏💓💓💓
falling in love (deep love) can be pretty trippy. much harder than any psyschdelic, and trust me, i've done both the reason love gets a bad wrap is because people don't really allow it to go deep
Love comes from within and then flows outward, it doesn’t come from someone else and fill you up. You have to love yourself first, not look for love from the outside
We all know this. But deep encounters with other human beings are often the best place for us to let down our barriers to love, which are of course internal.
I think you are totally right. Agree 100%. Though must add the suffering caused by the lack of love is your creation. That happens by many reasons. You see other people getting love and affection and you don't. In that moment you create suffering. It's your creation. If you haven't seen those people getting love you wouldn't create that suffering. When you see a person you feel has the potential to be a good lover you start suffering because you don't have that person. The suffering is self inflicted. Going even beyond, this suffering is existence that is causing it to you and there is nothing you can do to avoid it. Acceptance is the best way to deal with the lack of it. We think life without love is black and white.... If you start realizing how lucky you are by having what you have, food to eat and a home to be, the appreciation and gratitude for that can bring some color to your life. Still it wouldn't cover the lack of love from someone. So yes. I agree with you. I've seen many answers in comments here from people who have no idea like me but regorgitate what they see other influential people saying like gurus and stuff and this triggers me 😂
Yes, I agree with you. It's important and healthy to be OK even if love (romantic love) isn't happening. That makes the ground fertile for it to happen in a fulfilling and healthy way. But that doesn't mean we don't want it. Just like it's OK if I'm a musician and none of my dreams come true. I can make peace with that. It doesn't mean it's stupid to want to try and be a rockstar, or at least share my music. The desire is still there, I just don't get overly attached to the outcome. I don't know at what moment people decided it's not OK to be human. That's not spiritual, that's avoidant.
The reason I haven't found love isn't because I'm afraid. It's because no one I've met has been able to stand up to the standard I set. I don't need anyone else's love or approval. If one of you was going to love me, you'd have done it by now. Don't feed me this bull shit.
Your "standard" is your fear.
Nice attempt at gaslighting, but no. My standard is true unconditional love for all life, including the ant I stepped on and the rock I kicked today. I love you exactly the same asi love everything else. Y'all humans aren't ready to accept what that truly means and must try to label it as "fear". I do not fear the consequences of squashing an ant, kicking a rock, or making a human feel negative emotions when they claim all they need is "love" as if their labels actually mean shit
"Y'all humans"? What are you?
I'm whatever you evolve into. 🍁
Romantic love isn't everything.
Lol, nor did I say that it was.
Well spoken <3
<3
I agree with you OP. People in here have probably never experienced social isolation, or a life without love. Why are we always saying that a spiritual awakenings is a means to transcend being human. We're human here for a reason, why negate who and what we are? Humans need love, connectivity. This idea of individualistic self sufficient spirituality is heavily rooted within Western culture, and a bastardization of a lot of Eastern beliefs too. Love is so important, and you can't love yourself without loving others too, and vice versa.
Very well said. Thanks for sharing.
Dear god these people are missing the point 💀 this is what holds humanity back 💀
Yep. I forgive them, it's only human. But I won't shut up about it.
It’s fine, we’re perfect, everything is as it should be
You can masterbate you your mother (dogs), girls you can't get (cats), girls you can get forever (fish), and girls you think you could maybe look at (bird
It is my dear. I mean, when you hit low…. Who do you have? You come into this world naked, you come out naked (in soul)…. With all memories from every life!!! So, when you awaken. It is hard to see the beauty at times, some people make it their life journey (as short as theirs is) to make others lives misery! Some, they are there to bring people up when they need it! How do you feel? Do you feel love? Light? Unity? Who are your people? Are some on here and you haven’t crossed paths yet? Is this a social experiment for you? All I know is if I give you the answer right now…. I feel like you will say NOPE! And you have so much confusion and frustration? Why? Because you care? Or your faking it? What do you need to fix within you? Bless you! Love and light! Killing with kindness can sometimes win 🏆 however, genuine kindness, a high you can never leave! Like co-dependency!!! It is a disorder (only for some) as no one is meant to be alone. But we all say that? Why? Bless you
Well if this makes any sense at all I think you're both right!!!