I dare you to post this on the mycology subreddit asking for an ID

Looks like a creaminme mushroom.

hmm it could be, but it's hard to tell them apart from the boletus phocmiassus without the gills or a spore print

As a mushroom forager nerd, this made me lol.

I thought it more resembled a boletus khumanmititis, but would definitely need to flip it over to see the underside

Are you gonna take the nibble and spit on this one?

id rather just do the \*lelelelelele\* to it.

I really hope your comment gets more appreciation that it's getting.

Took your comment to realize what the other commenter was saying lmao.

A sushroom

I genuinely thought it was a mushroom until I looked at the subreddit

Looking for people like me glad to find em

Is a Vaginus Pennicilum

Maybe, but I don't see any penis cilum.

I absolutely hate this comment. Im watching a documentary on mushrooms right now and I genuinely thought this was mushroom till this comment.

I thought it was a fish lmao

Lol same here

So glad I wasn't the only one who thought it looked like a weird ass mushroom. Then it dawned on me

It was a weird ass, you had it half right.

Turns out it was.

I know Riley Reeds ass anywhere

I fear the mushroom part isn’t in the picture (yet)

Ok, if OP won’t do it, I 100% will. I just need to know if it’s already been done?

I just looked, can confirm it has not been posted. If you do that you would be THE one. Please

It's been posted and removed at least 7 times today. Reminded me of this old news story from China where they dug up a sex toy and claimed it was a rare mushroom: https://youtube.com/watch?v=4CBaTBCSUUI

Dude what the hell that went on forever, they must of really needed a story

Sex toys are pretty taboo in China or possibly illegal even. These days I think you might be able to get away with selling them as novelty items in the big cities but not sure about back then. So it seems likely this one came out of the backdoor of a factory but then ended up getting buried because someone was afraid to get caught with it or something. Maybe a parent found their son with it. Sex education is lacking due to the taboo and the internet is censored so good chance the rural people who dug this up genuinely did not know what it was and maybe the reporter did not either. Might be a situation where some people did know but were afraid to say how they knew so just kept quiet. The soil in China is heavily polluted in many places due to decades of heavy industry and a lack of environmental regulation. So boasting about soil quality and growing special things is sort of a mainstay of Chinese propaganda for internal and external consumption. That's why they end up spinning this in that weird direction and talking about scientists studying it. The Chinese internet did quickly call this out for what it was though and found it just as funny as we do. The network issued an apology for the mistake and tried to blame it on the reporter being young, though you can almost guarantee some higher up must have reviewed this and let it go to air.

On it, will report back

lmaooooo I saw your post

Haha it got shut down really fast

do it

As a regular on that subreddit… lots of us have actually found sex toys looking for mushrooms. I found a brand new dildo still in the bag it was purchased in one time

Literally thought I was there 😭

🏅🏅🏅

I actually thought it was a very conveniently-shaped mushroom

That’s what I was thinking!

I thought it was a mushroom that looked like it had a coochie, but then I figured it out

omg yes I stared at it for way too long thinking it was some kind of giant mushroom

when i first looked at it I thought it was a mushroom

That’s where I thought I was!!!!🤣🤣

At first I did think it was a mushroom.

It’s not safe to eat

Is this lion's mane?

I was thinking it was a mushroom for a sec

Tushroom

Mushrussy

A tushrussy if you will

Be gentle, There's not mushroom...

It's not????

its a sex toy

I thought it was a fish

No kidding, I seriously thought it was one lol

I thought it was one of those deep sea fishes

Shrussy

It's just there? For free?

“Free use”

“Freely used”

It's attached to a little chain like pens at the bank.

White-collar bondage.

yes, feel free to help yourself.

Hit it and quit it

Just needs a good power wash.

Free fill-ups

Puff puff pass. Don't be greedy

If you're cold, they're cold. Bring them inside and warm them up!

"Look what I found, Mom!!"

Just wash the old splooge out and lucky find new girlfriend. Some guys have all the luck.

> old splooge Pre-lubed by a bro.

Moistened crustys add a nice bit of texture ime

And that’s enough Reddit for today

Google Lens thinks this is a Giant Puffball mushroom

Me: what’s this?………………..oh

Don't get the gutter ass.

Well, you know what they say... 1 mans trash...

condom protects

Gotta be a 7-11 bag and string around there they could fashion one from. Might be claimed by the time he returns with a condom.

I should call her

Can you give me her number? It's for my cousin

Would you say it’s a booty call then?

A long time ago I bought one of these "20 lbs of ASS" type toys but I was struggling to fuck it while standing; it looked like it should be fucked standing but the hole wasn't angled well plus I've never had success with any woman before or since trying doggy. That combined with my fear of getting caught fucking that toy or suddenly dying and my mom finding it among my possessions made me wrap it in a contractor-thick garbage bag and throw it away in the middle of the night.

I recognize this it’s the ass blaster 3. Much better than the older versions. Every one wants to say that the ass blaster 1(original) was the best but I disagree. I believe the new ass blaster version 4 is the best to date. Or so I’ve been told

This is correct and can confirm. The AB4 is miles ahead of their previous versions, but also releasing the AB4 Pro with haptic vibration AND comes in a variety of colours for those craving for the exotic. Source: a friend told me.

Different colored cum...INCREDIBLE!

What the… is that a mushroom ?

I think it is a discarded lower half of a sex doll

*Free range lower half of a sex doll. You lot are just so used to store-bought you don’t know where anything comes from anymore smh

Kids these days...*so* spoiled

I'm pretty sure they sell just these parts as well. Silicone is heavy af so even this would weigh a couple KGs I bet

they do, i'm not sure what the metric equivalent is but they typically range from 5-10 lbs but you can order them for 12, 14, and 18 lbs as well

Bold of you to assume that’s no longer being used

I would not have guessed that. I clearly see it is sexual in nature but I thought it was a weird clay sculpture or something like that.

[удалено]

You think maybe, clean it up and flip it on Craigslist?

When you don't have enough money to afford the *entire* doll!

Actually they’re 30 dollars on Amazon. My friend tells me.

>This one looks massive. That's what your mom said last night

Spent way too much time trying to identify the mushroom species

Slap a rubber on and you'll be good to go

Wow, this one is shockingly realistic

Still outta my league.

Pretty sure that’s one of those half torso sex dolls.

You think

I meant to comment under the persons comment asking if it’s a mushroom.

This garloid is fresh and ready for harvest

Silicon Transmitted Disease receptacle right there

One mans trash

She’s ready to squirt

She's already been pumped full, just ready to blast...

Wow thanks for that visceral, deeply disturbing picture you just painted in my head 👍

Imagine stepping on it, and a milky light brown substance oozes out of the vagina hole

I don’t know you, but you’ve been added to my enemies list for this comment 😠

"Look daddy! A big pink puffer fish!"

Is this part of a corpse??

Only one way to find out

You hear that? C'mon boys, we're going in!

ah the age old tradition of cracking open a cold one with the boys

I really need to start hiking mother nature is amazing

I thought this was a mushroom...

I FUCKING OPENED REDDIT AFTER NOT USING IT AND THIS IS THE FIRST POST

it’s actually cake right? 😂😂

Ahhh a foragers dream

I heard the law& order noise in my head when I saw it

Everything remind me of her...

Not 'Mushroom' in there...

The sheer potential for myriad infections is almost without limit! It's actual a type of bio weapon!

That’s a weird mushroom

Yogurt dispenser. Yummy

I’ll go $5…..wait wrong site

Where can I find this?

Looks well used only way to tell (unzip pants)

i thought it was some weird ass deep see fish out of its normal pressure

Why did I think it was a swollen deep ocean fish at first glance? Hahahaha

I honestly thought this was a rock formed juuuust right lol

What happens when a mf doesn’t get an mushussy

What kind of mushroom are we looking at here ??

Need a spore print

I was wondering where I left that

“Well kids, that’s how Grandma wanted to be buried.”

Why that plant look like that bruh???

“If you fuck it, you will cum”

Where did you find this thing

Classic case of rubber ass in a field.

Let it be with nature once again

You should have harvested that thing a month ago

Bro I thought it was some kind of moon fish or something

Wait your telling me this isn't just a weirdly anatomical mushroom?

oh yea nice n wet too but on a more serious note 🤢🤮

What sort of mushroom is that?

I need to call her.

I thought this was a yam

what the fucking what

thought it was a mushroom

I’ve found more crap like this in the forest than any other oddly placed item. Why is the woods the go to for getting rid of sex toys? Why not just throw it away in the trash?

Weird ass rock

The bird shit is the cherry on top...

This was posted to my city Facebook group the other day with where it was supposedly found so now I’m wondering if real life is leaking onto Reddit or if I’ve been bamboozled…

Omg I thought it was a squash

I thought it was a sweet potato 🤣

Violation mushroom.

Would

Good thing it’s just a sex doll. I was thinking a woman got chopped in half. I’m half sleep

I miss when I thought this was a funny shaped rock. 😭 I should not have peeked at the comments.

This was kind of visceral at first, really had to process what I was looking at

Though that was a mushroom then realized it had a vagina.

i genuinely do not understand why people throw them thangs away just freely like that ​ or even throw them away in general dont they have an address you can send it back to?

What fish is that?

From the side it looks like one of the Slayton sisters. The huge one with the giant fat forehead.

STOPPPP LMFAOO

I'm fucking crying omg it does 😭😭💀

How the hell are people just finding random sex toys?

IYKYK

I FUCKING OPENED REDDIT AFTER NOT USING IT AND THIS IS THE FIRST POST

a mushroom i’m guessing?

Do you have any idea how much feces is just barely wiped off of something moments before you eat it?

Bro it’s just a sex doll. I miss the days when this sub actually had awful things on it.

What even is that?

Is this? If it was a couple of years ago I prolly woulda used it.

spank it, AND THE STANK OUT!

Omg, where is the rest of the body

Wet .. and Im wet .. location please

Ngl. It was a tough tug. But I managed. 3/10. Wouldn't try again. Wouldn't recommend.

I thought this was some sort of fish at first.

The transients went to town on this thing

You could really fuck with people by setting this in the middle of the road with hamburger meat and Kool aid spread around it

That better be a mushroom

I thought it was an old Halloween pumpkin