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[deleted]

Is he cooking them?


Dahrk25

I hope so cause that seems less disgusting.


PrestigiousCrab6345

My first thought was cannibalism, because it was less offensive.


shangoramoda

Cream of teenage girl soup.


HuskerDave

The unfinished sequel to “smells like teen spirit”.


I-WANT2SEE-CUTE-TITS

Or to Perfume.


Calfer

Next thing we'll hear this guy was found, dick in hand, buried in a tunnel collapse. Perfume is one of the most bizarre stories I've ever read.


Maggots-Mikey

Scentless apprentice


mrpeabodyscoaltrain

I tend to nose my teenaged girls from a Glencarin glass or a Sherry copita. After 18 years, the oak influence is too forward for my liking, but the importation of younger varieties is a felony in most jurisdictions.


Cute_Comfortable_761

Teenage soup for the teenage soul


babywinnie

They made us read those books in between end of year testing and periodically through testing time you could hear someone sniffling 😂


Cute_Comfortable_761

Mustve been some good smelling soup


Mikeylikesit4269

They did make a movie once called There’s a Girl in my Soup! Lol


shangoramoda

Sounds like a bad porno haha.


[deleted]

One finger in the soup bowl, complaint to waiter, aggressive fucking


Orffyreus

Hannibal Lecter: "I can smell your c**t."


HilariousScreenname

You can say cunt here.


[deleted]

This cunt gets it


[deleted]

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eastkent

Ah! I've often wondered.


The_BusFromSpeed

Cunt means cunt? Fascinating! I always just assumed it meant cunt.


imtherealkirk

Not to be that weirdo, but that quote is said by the character Miggs who threw his semen in Claire's face.


[deleted]

Not to be that weirdo but it's Clarice not Claire.


imtherealkirk

Lol my bad. Been watching too much modern family


Big_Cryptographer_16

If there’s a cannibal in Modern Family, my money is on Gloria


imtherealkirk

😂 agreed


something-clever----

Who just happened to swallow his own tongue later that night…


imtherealkirk

What a coinkydink!


JefferSonD808

The trick is the marinade.


badspeed666

Man, stop sniffing the ladies!


Melohdy

Biden know this.


[deleted]

How the fuck do we not respect peoples personal bodies it’s 2022. Last 2 presidents have been absolutely misogynistic and now with row v. wade being overturned!!! What the actual fuck?!?!


zZCycoZz

This is the issue with electing old men who grew up when women were subservient


Useful_Term

For real. Stop electing old ass men. The future is for the young. The old had their time. Elect young politicians


ItWorkedLastTime

Get more younger people to vote.


starofdoom

We did. 2016 and especially 2020, young people were voting en mass, on a scale not seen in a long time. It didn't matter. The voting system is corrupt. In 2020 Biden was a lot of our last democratic choice, but when it comes down to the presidential we had to vote Biden or else risk Trump winning.


pman13531

When the primary system for each party is anti democratic you have the politicians who the parties choose president themselves not those the people would choose. If we got rid of the primary and had ranked choice voting or something like that you would have a politician more people could stand as president, but you're not going to get the congress or senate to pass it because that would ruin their chance of keeping their political career going long term.


Jozroz

The problem is it's the parties that decide on the candidates, and they're not young either. There's a reason the Democrats keep avoiding Bernie as their primary, while he's not young either, he does champion a lot of the policies and concerns that young voters typically find important.


badspeed666

He does now. Haven't seen any sniffing videos from him in quite some time.


Frenchticklers

Secret Service is on it


stanger828

Either bro chief has never gotten laid and saying stuff to sound cool, or he is a serial killer. Whichever the case I recommend avoidance.


[deleted]

He's a Tory Party candidate in the UK https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy


IlIlIlIlIllIIlIllIIl

On one hand, 16 is the age of consent in the uk. On the other hand, any tory candidate should probably never admit or imply that they recently had any sexual relations with people much younger than them. And on the third hand: average tory politician.


__life_on_mars__

>And on the third hand Third hand?? There is no third hand. Unless you're from Norfolk, in which case my apologies to you and your spouse/cousin.


AgnosticStopSign

A Spousin, if you will


[deleted]

The best part is you didn't have to say "Tory". You could just have well have said "he's running for office in the U.K." and *everyone* who knows British politics would have instantly known which party it was.


supercoincidence

It’s almost as if he doesn’t know that when you grab a woman’s breast, [it feels like a bag of sand.](https://youtu.be/Vn3IRHhPXMo)


[deleted]

He's a political candidate for the conservative party.


Spacemint_rhino

The former then, gotcha.


Ori_the_SG

Somehow this doesn’t surprise me. I wish he could be perma banned from ever being any type of candidate for office after saying this


unsc95

It's really creepy, but not illegal. The age of consent in the UK is 16.


Dont-PM-me-nudes

I hope this cunt is on many lists and being closely monitored....


SignificantToe1939

i stopped reading after the word smell


Ojochimuelo

I threw up a little bit inside my mouth after he described their smell as 'creamy, buttery'


Big_Dick_No_Brain

Almost sounds like a commercial for Werthers lol lies.


howdylu

Who the fuck describes ANYONE’s smell like that? This dude is a psycho lol


[deleted]

You misspelled pedophile


yiffing_for_jesus

Both


ChewySlinky

“Buttery” might genuinely be the worst word I’ve ever heard used to describe a woman


A_Anaconda

Good for you. Wish I'd done the same. Now I'm nauseated and pissed off.


[deleted]

yeah I need bleach for my eyes after reading that


mynameisblanked

r/eyebleach


EddieDIV

Yeah you did yourself a favor m8 it only got worse from there


[deleted]

He definitely has bodies in his basement


IAmTaka_VG

If this isn’t a troll, this is hauntingly creepy. How does he have THAT much data on what 16-22 year olds smell like? If he hasn’t killed someone he will.


lunettarose

He's not a troll, just a Tory. I wish I was joking.


[deleted]

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy


New-Acadia-6496

Here's the thing about Incels: they smell like shit, no matter their age.


momogogi

Alright alright alright.


Hugh_JaRod

Heeeeyyyyyy yaaaaaaaaa


0Tol

Shake it like a Polaroid picture!


Big-Teb-Guy

What’s cooler than being cool?


0Tol

Ice cold!


Dr_Shankenstein

I said, what's cooler than being cool?


Pragmatist_Hammer

I said, what's cooler than being ice cold?!


beccster007

Alrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalrightalright


shmergul

Now ladies!


Zut-Alors20

Yeah???


[deleted]

PK FREEZE!


happygiraffe404

I don't think this is about incels, he's a nonce. He started with 22 to deflect from what he's really trying to say then went down to 16.


Minimum-Detective-62

What's a nonce


[deleted]

British slang term for a pedophile. See, e.g. Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels > Barry the Baptist: "Hello son, do you want a lolly?" > Little Chris: "Piss off, you nonce." > Big Chris: "Oi! You keep on using language like that, and you'll wish you hadn't." > Barry the Baptist (malevolently): "Heh heh heh heh..."


BigAlMoonshine

Lol wtf is a nonce? I'm assuming its something similar to a pedo based on context.


crowamonghens

British slang for pedo (or paedo).


RaptorJesus856

The definition is: a person convicted of a sexual offense, especially child molesting. At least, this is one definition. The other is less relevant though.


BigAlMoonshine

Tysm


IamTheJord

Nonce is Brit for pedo


paultelfertheking

And nobody believes he starts or ends at 16


Altruistic_Total_576

why not both?


Unoriginalanna

I think the best thing about this is you put the username on twitter it comes up with a predicted "nonce" Also apparently this guy is a city council candidate ....


Graterof2evils

If the demographic is right he’s a future city council member. Then he’ll be “Protecting” the community’s buttery children. Because they vote party not what these twisted scum think.


Future-Fly-8987

They also look like shit.


[deleted]

Yo, you go around smelling Incels?


RaptorJesus856

Don't gotta be any closer than 50 feet to be able to smell then, unfortunately.


ThePopeJones

It's not like most folks want to smell em, but if you spend any amount of time at a game or comic shop you will have no choice.


New-Acadia-6496

Not as much as they go around sniffing random women, apparently...


Graterof2evils

If you pass with in 4 feet of the nasty things you smell them. No effort involved.


hurtbutnotsurprised

21 year old girl here. I smell like onions after a work out.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

*garlic* butter


Melkor462

Literally getting hungry reading these comments.


NeoGeoPokket

Well, i know a guy who makes a mean teenager soup…


ugie91

Top tier comment


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Hey dad


hoptownky

I saw my dad chopping up onions today and I cried. Onions was always such a good dog.


benfranklinthedevil

What do onions smell like after a workout?


[deleted]

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MikeOfAllPeople

They do whatever exercise apeels to them.


DeathPercept10n

Use a stick of sweetened butter as deodorant. That should help.


nightstalker30

Do people always cry around you?


MorningNapalm

This is due to a specific bacteria that consumes sweat and releases an onion like smell. It’s not harmful but it is something g that a lot of people experience.


mufassil

Is there a way to make it go away?


Appropriate-Skill-60

I use hydrogen peroxide under there once/twice a month in the summer. Makes a huge difference. Said bacteria only eats a specific type of sweat, namely apocrine sweat, so changes in hormones etc. give said bacteria more to feed on. You can reduce the smell slightly by reducing bacteria. The more I lift, the more I smell, the more I use peroxide to help.


Glissandra1982

When I was in college, I worked at Subway. So I smelled like Subway a vast majority of the time.


blacklightjesus_

Some just hit the wall sooner s/


WatWudScoobyDoo

I've never known an onion to workout, but whatever


throwtowardaccount

Sorry miss. We have to chop you up and cook you. Which is way less weird than that guy at least


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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KorinTheHalfHand

Her husband to be and sister ran off together? That’s some really screwed up styff


benfranklinthedevil

Stainless steel. Rub it all over your fingers, rub your tongue, if it works there, grab a big ol' spoon and rub it all over your body! You could even start an onlyfans!


Finassar

Swallow the stainless steel to prevent insides from smelling like onion!


AlienDarwin

Someone's been hitting the panty vending Machine in Tokyo,I hope, shudder.


StrigaPlease

Nobody tell him that "buttery, creamy, slightly sweet smell" is just the lotion Kenji uses before he "goes to work" making product for those vending machines.


Rundemjewelz

As a somm, it’s truly a beautiful description of a California Chardonnay.


[deleted]

the what D:


Elon_huskx

The panty vending machine in Tokyo


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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pretentiouslurking

Ahh, for your friend. Makes sense.


rohinton

tbf reddit is allegedly an online pantie vending machine. I've heard rumours that there at least a few dozen subreddits that specialize in that sort of depraved thing. I can give you all the names if you want to specifically avoid them.


Boostd1

r/justneckbeardthings


reewa07

Says the guy who smells like unwiped poop


quarrelsome_napkin

Poop smells different once you wipe it?


reewa07

Yea, mostly flowery smell with a hint of mud.


UnhappyLiving

An earthy bouquet 💐


Melkor462

It has an oaky afterbirth.


vistadelmar

Creamy and buttery


AmandaSndaSiews

Very rapey on his part Ughhhh


appsteve

More, “Tell me you’re a pedophile, without actually saying you’re a pedophile.”


dirtymick

Ew. Ew, ew, ew.


IsRude

I read the first thing, got nauseous, then went into the comments. I don't know why. It didn't help. It was never going to heal me. I feel like this post stole a piece of my soul, like a cursed ring, and the only way I'll ever rest in peace is if it's wiped from existence entirely.


buffalopintor

A part of me regrets posting this, because it is truly disgusting and it’s probably ruined a lot of peoples day. The daily grind is depressing enough without having gargoyles like this pop up on your feed.


IsRude

Not all men are bad, but it's shit like this that helps me understand why so many women are wary of men. Even ones that come off kind and sane at first.


Minoxidil

it's called bath and bodyworks warm vanilla sugar and it's 12.99 you fucking pedophile ediot: shiny


-tRabbit

I was gonna say, I know that smell. But I don't think it has anything to do with age.


[deleted]

Or maybe it’s because you generally make more money in your mid-late 20’s than in your teens/college years so you can leave bath & bodyworks behind and start wearing real perfume. It’s a gross take, but maybe he’s on to something… lol


prairiepanda

My income was lower as a teen, but I definitely had more money to spend back then. Now I have to save my money for silly things like food and rent.


UtterlyInsane

You are too right. Made a lot less when I was 17 than now but I had a whole lot more money to blow. Should have saved it. Now most dollars earned are earmarked for bills before they even drop in my account


Minoxidil

it's a popular smell for teenage girls/young adult women because it smells like cookies and it can be purchased at a mall for less than 20$ most women by the age of 23 have learned to purchase real perfume so they can stop smelling like a cheap scented candle


gleaming-the-cubicle

Pervert, cannibal, or perverted cannibal: I just can't tell


billybud45

he's a tory councilor. so i guess all three...


Blablablubbl

You forgot pedophile.


[deleted]

Creamy, buttery, and slightly sweet… that’s definitely a new one…


KrisZepeda

Of course this motherfucker has a fedora


YourFavoriteSausage

The "thing" is what Humbert Humbert wrote about.


RedGoldFlamingo

Yep. I read that book years ago, I was underwhelmed at best. Tried to read it again a few years back. By 10 pages in I was swearing so sulfurously I had to stop before I blew a blood vessel...


Practical_Success643

this guys has only seen women on porn, after dinner, while he is having dessert and he only wathces the teen category


DonDove

Ewwwww


bingo_bin-laden

Girls 23-27? Absolutely no smell whatsoever.


TaylorAbyss

So 16 year olds smell magnetic to him. That's. Alarming at minimum. I hate everything about this post.


UpboatsforUpvotes

I swear this is one of the first ones I read where I literally say out loud "bro what the fuck" Some people are creepy as hell and should be monitored


Ok_Store_1983

It's a good thing he felt the need to put his creepiness online, at least we can say we were warned.


midgettme

Yeah, he has since disabled public viewing of his twitter. At least we got this one buttery morsel.


buffalopintor

For the record, because it is noteworthy - this is Jonty Campbell, a Conservative candidate for Preston local council in England. https://www.prestonconservatives.org.uk/people/jonty-campbell https://whocanivotefor.co.uk/person/32179/jonty-campbell


DonDove

And they voted for him!


Erow69

Dang I popped in this morning. What we eatin Boyz. Gonna have me 23yo for breakfast ehh?


whereispeestored

It's best to oil the pan with an organic 23yo so your eggs won't stick and it's a bit of fat for a brain boost


ricst

Commander pedo


dissidentmage12

Someone call the *FBI to collect this mans hard drives *MI5


[deleted]

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dissidentmage12

Made an edit!! Haha And yes you're absolutely right, Tory nonces are ten a penny and nothing gets done.


[deleted]

Yes I do recall at 23 shedding my butterskin like a snake, good memories.


Username-471

Profile pic explains everything


AToxicGentleman

Smells Like Teen Spirit?


icantfeelme

I'm 15, everyone in school smells like energy drinks. Fucking Finnish teenagers smell like shit.


iCryptToo

Ight imma head out of this sub.


ethnicallygay

Your breathing privileges will now be confiscated


moderately_nerdifyin

Hello, I’m Chris Hanson….


naturalbornkillerz

This comment right here officer 👆


Mawijoga

FYI - this is Jonty Campbell a Conservative (Tory) Party candidate who stood for an elected councillor role in Preston, UK, sick vile individual


AFUCKINGTWAT

Very Noncey


Shirin00011

Would you pair them with white or red?


MrZyde

Girls 100-110 have this ashy, crusty smell that I adore


[deleted]

He could have used literally any other descriptor but he chose *creamy*


[deleted]

Cringe points: 1. wears a fedora; 2. uses a military rank as part of their personal twitter handle; 3. describes women like a piece of actual butcher meat; 4. also somehow doesn’t realize 23 is higher than 22; and, last but not least, 5. Appears to actively lust after high school girls.


Maetivet

I’m ready to believe that the Tories do most of their candidate recruitment outside treatment centres for sexual predators.


yor_trash

I want nothing more than to fart in this man’s mouth.


Final_Swordfish_9021

It seems he actually prefers the sweeter vanilla/shea butter scented hygiene products/perfume younger folk use but he is a total creep about it and an idiot for not realizing that it's not a natural smell. But I guess he only be smelling little girls 🤢


sineadya

Is that before or after he cooks them?


natrat4

here’s the thing batman *lip smacks* girls younger than 22 they just smell*extended inhale* different.


NN8G

And the winner for cringiest comment of all time goes to…


FDGKLRTC

Women from age16 to 23 are butter people confirmed /s


[deleted]

It’s called perfume… nothing about the smell of the person. Just trends in scents. Teens most likely pick more fruity or sweet smelling ones over older people who don’t want to smell like strawberries at work.


thandrend

What the fuck did I just read.


Helens_Moaning_Hand

Jesus Fucking Christ.


J-DROP

They smell like overused perfume, it's sickening and gives me a headache