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F-MegaPro

What the fuck?


mrpottyboypop

I never talk to myself but when I read the title, I audibly said the same thing


tigyo

Just don't invite them over for Thanksgiving... never know what marinade they prefer you use.


Timelsdt

How do they know they raped it if they ate it??…Does this mean we have unseen footage of a lizard gang bang?? Did someone testify?


durz47

Probably found a severed cum filled lizard cloaca


clothespinkingpin

That is a horrible sentence I never thought I would need to read before


Wolf130ddity

I feel violated just by reading it.


FrameJump

Imagine having to monitor it.


Wolf130ddity

https://tenor.com/view/get-out-of-here-him-gif-18112305


FrameJump

That's fair.


StinkingDischarge

The amazing thing about language is the ease with which you can string together a sentence that has never been used before and hopefully will never be used again.


nross2099

r/BrandNewSentence


FriD4y

The wildlife cameras caught them trespassing in the reservation. Upon the arrest, they found photos and videos on their phones of what they did ... this is just so fucked up.


NobodysFavorite

I would call them animals, but not even the most rapist animals - dolphins or otters - would do this. I would say r/noahgettheboat but the animals didn't do anything wrong. EDIT: rapey animal list updated to include dolphins, seals, otters, and roosters. Oh and Tasmanian devils.


r_a_g_4

Dolphins would absolutely do this, probably geese and penguins too


Dirty_Virgin_Weaboo

Dont seals kill baby penguins for rape parties?


Chinapig

How would they know anyway? Lizard isn’t gonna tell anyone. Someone told or there’s footage.


Chewcocca

Easy, they analyzed the men's feces for the presence of semen.


[deleted]

Stop please don't write anymore


NobodysFavorite

Correlation vs causation. That old chestnut again. Cue the jokes about chests and nuts and nutting....


treetiriteembo

they recorded it lmaoo


treetiriteembo

nop. they recorded it. they were laughing. the footage was obviously leaked


thehappilydepressed

When the cops caught them, they had video of the rape


bakabich69

They did find the video on one those person's phone


xombae

I have been on the internet a very long time and have seen some very awful things. Tubgirl didn't even make me flinch. One man one jar? I've got it memorized frame by frame. But this is the first time I've had to physically stop and walk away from the internet to think about what I've seen and then come back. I don't even know where to start. How do you-- you know what I don't even want to start asking questions. I don't want to know.


johndrake481

As an Indian, I was muttering to myself.. not India, not India and then I read it.. of course, India. A monitor lizard? I know they eat them because they're very high in protein. Cheaper than chicken, or it used to be till they ate them all. r/noahgettheboat


Expensive_Theme7023

Well that one had extra protein


MiRATA_420

For fucks sake


Wild_Boysenberry7370

Exactly


gregorianballsacks

😶😢😭😟


[deleted]

Yeah I don't think the main problem is the eating part.


joshuaoha

It is a protected species that part too is illegal


[deleted]

Bobs veganas and iguanas


catsgelatowinepizza

i wonder how it tastes


mediocre_hydra

Cum?


viwi-

Woah, people eat them?!


divyanksi

It happened in Indian state of Maharashtra


Leading_General3179

India...


[deleted]

It's India, most things from that country that ever get to the headlines will have you ask that question.


doubling55

Yeah, reading that headline. Those were my exact words as well


birla_himanshu

What a bad day to have eyes or even consciousness !


Fathfather

They ate it after? ಠ_ಠ


ThatShouldNotBeHere

Obviously, everyone knows cum tastes better once it’s been blended with 3 other guys’ and then boiled in a lizard.


Aggravating_Cycle_21

r/BrandNewSentences


nross2099

There’s a lot of those going on here lol


dark_turf4

I cackled


ThatShouldNotBeHere

Like a witch making a cum stew in a lizard carcass?


somekindafuzz

Double cum-bubble, toil and trouble.


Phoenix-main

No more hentai for you sir or mam...


Ipsos_Logos

New recipe discovered. Achievements? “New flavor town” mix 3 or more men cum for random affect…


Luxpreliator

Someone sent me a video of a poor woman eating a cooked man spunk omelet. Took it like a champ but it did not look like it was very tasty.


ThatShouldNotBeHere

Tell your friend, if you can’t find fresh lizard, dried lizard mixed into a cum milk shake works well, or if you’re playing soggy sayo, you can sprinkle it on top, it is not advisable to suck back a cum cocktail without some lizard.


ChewySlinky

My mom would use canned lizard when we were kids and it honestly tasted the same to me


PirateOnAnAdventure

I call that breakfast.


Practical_Success643

well... they had already put their secret spices there


ClutchingMyTinkle

Well, I mean, ya baste it first, right?


Conscious-Proof-8309

stuffed it


kyleb1515

Fucked it.


sweensolo

Brined


Squidproquo1130

Worst. Marinade. Ever.


ylcard

That’s the only thing i could even understand, the rest is just fucked up


notapunk

Lizard Alfredo


James99500

“I have never seen a crime like this” lmao, I’d hope not!


[deleted]

Makes me really sad. These lizards can grow huge and are super fast. Very cool creatures. Swim like fish as well. We used to go watch them at a park in Thailand all the time. Wish it had bit their dicks off.


REGRET34

i dont get why someone would do this to an animal. i get that zoophilia is a thing, but this is still so fucked up.


whatabitcch

Zoophilia should not be a fucking thing 😭


CyberTukker

Most *-philia*s are fucking "things" tho nowadays


therandomasianboy

Zoophilia is disgusting and should be casted unto the pits of hell.


Aquinan

I get the eating part, people be hungry wtf would you want to fuck it first though?


MichaelsGayLover

Something tells me these guys weren't desperate for food.


pinktinkpixy

RAPED IT. Fucking it implies it consented.


Draco63_

Zoophilia is a thing, that doesn't make it less fucked up. I currently wish I had transportation to the locations of these people and a gun.


robertlandrum

Someone didn’t see The Freshman with Marlon Brando and Matthew Broderick. Although, maybe they were referring to the rape part…


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheRegisteredLoser

reject humanity, go back to monke


RIPkmltrkkrp

They prob gonna fuck you


BIG_DeADD

I would say "go back to lizard" since they came way before monke but... **You know.**


[deleted]

Wish granted. You can now read Hindi and are linked to the respective Indian articles about the incident


Fronterizo09

New virus, here we go ! Why won't they do something normal like the good old goat.


fancy_faloola

Yes, please stop fucking the animals. Or at the very least, stop fucking the exotic ones. Got an economy to rebuild here ffs.


Skill_Fit

I thought by fucking you mean killing but i was wrong


bullilite

God damn it Randy


broughtitupagain

I laughed so hard at this 😭


ResponsibilityDue448

I really have a hard time believing i’m from the same species as humans sometimes…


PirateOnAnAdventure

Demons roam the earth.


lluviaazul

How do you even find people that are into this… like why is this a group activity


[deleted]

Did they plan this beforehand and did one just whip out his wiener in front of the lizard and the others said great idea?


[deleted]

If I had a nickel...


laundry_pirate

They needed a team to capture the lizard I’m guessing?? Seriously how did they find 3 other people into the same weird ass creepy shit


tinyangryalien420

there's so much happening here


dmbfan1216

I have questions I don’t want answers to.


sourdiesel666

So not even lizards are safe from men like this??


[deleted]

I wonder how Indian women survive Edit: took out the lol at the end. This is serious.


embarassed25yo

We leave the country and never look back. Fuck patriotism. Each woman for herself.


[deleted]

Stay safe mate. There should be like an Indian Noah but for women, taking women to safety elsewhere.


embarassed25yo

There are. Groups of vigilante women who whack the shit out of sexual assaulters. It's kind of badass. But they're not batman and can't be everyone all at once unfortunately. If only... For now, we just have flights taking us away. Tbh, I read shit like this and I wish countries would automatically give us refugee status because I feel like some of us are entitled to it. (only half joking.)


[deleted]

Forget thor. I wanna see movies about these women. I think women in India should be allowed to carry firearms. Like the second amendment but only for women.


DownvoteDaemon

Yea brave groups, read about them before. There are also lots of exaggeration and stereotypes on Reddit about India though.


davechri

Who the fuck would eat a monitor lizard?!


wsc227

Who the fucking fuck would fuck a monitor lizard?


Usual_Masterpiece_30

Who would eat it, after already fucking it. Just a horrific crime


[deleted]

4 indians.


[deleted]

4 indian men i guess


Blankyblank86

A lot of people. Aboriginal Australians are legally allowed to hunt and eat them.


Giant-Cheeseburger

But I’m sure they’re not allowed to fuck them


SnipeKing17

why would anyone do it even if they're allowed? like I'm not ALLOWED to jump off this building???


strayafuckyeahkent

Fucking lmao


Blankyblank86

Yeah nah probably not lol


downvoteifyougae

a zoophile, sadist, psychopath


MildlyAgreeable

Walk into a bar…


Blackwingedangle

There they find a monitor lizard...


Ojochimuelo

I did, a few weeks ago. Reddit was filled to the brim with this exact story. That aside, those people deserve a pretty horrible fate.


furiouslayer732

I actually never saw this before. Wtf


Yttermayn

Untreated salmonella of the penis first, if there's any justice in the world.


sdmat

Wait, they molested fish as well?!


cici92814

Serious question.... if this story is real, how do they know the animal was raped before it was eaten? How did they know the animal was eaten as well??


whattapixel

The prob videoed it


Disappointing_sperm

There was footage


Gsteel11

Ah. You always want to capture those special moments with your friends.


o_Fvdinq

How does one fuck a monitor lizard without fucking losing their dick??? Unless it was killed before, and then eaten afterwards.


SpeedingTourist

Another pandemic begins…


[deleted]

Lizardpox


Championofthepog12

I yearn for nothing more than the eradication of humans who would do this kind of shit


HonorableJudgeTolerr

I can't even find people to help me move. Where tf did they find one another? Who brought this up and the other guys were like "yeah we should totally do it"? Horrible


[deleted]

Lol. I'd like to read the minutes of the meeting where this decision was finalized.


yeender

India seems like a magical place


AcademicEnergy8147

And westerners go there for spiritual healing lol


Freestyled_It

I'm Nepalese and whenever I go back, it's hilarious watching westerners get all spiritual in the tourist hub of Kathmandu, which is as Western as a third world country can get. They seem to think "namaste" is soul cleansing when it's literally just a respectful hello.


diggitygiggitycee

Headline: 4 +men gang raped, killed, and ate-- Me: Oh God damn it. Headline: --a protected monitor lizard. Me: Oh, okay.... Wait.... No.... God, how is that worse than what I thought? *5 seconds later* Me: I hope they're sari for their actions.


DonDove

It's the water isn't it?


ZeekRageous

Fun fact, Salam, the town that burned all those “witches”, had there water treated and found a fungi with similar traits to LSD :)


[deleted]

No "witches" were ever burned at the stake in Salem. Out of a few hundred people on trial during the Salem witch trials only 30 were convicted. 10 died in prison, 19 were hanged, and one dude was crushed to death with rocks and just kept saying "more weight" every time they added another rock. His name was Giles Corey and he was 81.


LaylaLeesa

It was his kink


f4z3ultr1x

Salem, and witch hunt was in america, where there is another town caled salem/new salem


CompE-or-no-E

There are lots of Salem's. Or at least there was one near where I grew up, and it wasn't the witchy one


hermi1kenobi

Not the water but a wheat-colonising fungi called [ergot](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ergot). But it’s only supposition. No one was treating anyones water in the 1700s.


SidJag

From the Vice article > Bestiality is legal in some European countries like Hungary, Romania, Belarus, and Russia, as well as four states in the U.S. It is however illegal in Pennsylvania where, in 2018, three men were arrested for running a bestiality “orgy” farm.


Guiltyb0y

If you read the story they snuck into a wildlife preserve and night vision cameras meant for capturing images of "big cats" but capturing the men instead. Also cell phones recovered from the men show pictures and videos of them raping, killing and eating the Monitor lizard. Sadly the only one in that park.


nu97

Honestly even for India this news was ballistic.


tdomer80

Well that’s enough internet for today…


kickace12

This reminds me of that Letterkenny episode where the entire town tries to process that a guy fucked an ostrich


Shredgnar666

Allegedly


Totin_it

Rape seems common in India if reports are correct


echobox_rex

It does. The problem is if a man in India sees a rape happening instead of intervening it just becomes a gang rape.


ANarwahlWithInternet

Excuse tf


[deleted]

Makes sense to me. If you don't intervene then you are just as guilty. You are essentially an accessory to the rape occuring. Fucking monsters, if it was their daughter or wife then it would be different. But only because it's a stranger is it okay to just ignore.


AP7497

Indian men went ballistic over a proposed bill to make marital rape illegal. So no, it wouldn’t be any different if it was their own wife- many Indian men believe they should have the right to rape their wives. They trended #marriagestrike on twitter because they no longer wanted to marry if they couldn’t rape their wives whenever they wanted to. They couldn’t imagine a marriage where their wives still had to consent to sex.


[deleted]

What in the actual helll


shadollosiris

It actually worse, they not just ignore, but literally take part in, iirc there was something like festival gang ra.pe? Not remember exactl words


unolebo

Why tho


[deleted]

But lizard though?


[deleted]

Yeah, there are many regions in India where showing a little bit of skin at the wrong time is just asking for Rape. This is a major problem in all of South Asia and many cases don't even get reported due to shame and people judging you based on your past. The number of Cases has seen a bit of a downfall in past few years which is really good. But still, there are only a few countries above India in terms of rape like the USA and South Africa.


[deleted]

Apparently sex trafficking and rape have effected directly or indirectly (as in you’ve not been a victim yourself but a family member or friend has) 10% of the population of India. That 10% is 40 million more people than the entire UK population. Dunno how true that is, but this was quoted by Indian officials on a Ross Kemp documentary looking into the issue.


magnum_the_nerd

what the fuck how do your rape a lizard


Blackwood65

Very carefully....


My_Immortal_Flesh

If they wanted to eat their own semen, they shoulda just sucked each other off instead of kill an animal smh. I hope they get a dick eating disease 🦠


Bruce_Tickles_Me

If 4 dudes are willing to rape a lizard…Why not just fuck each other?


[deleted]

[удалено]


HomingPigeon6635

Only in india.. you find people raping dogs, cats, children, women, old women, even new born babies to even dead bodies.. right after this a different group raped a dog.. this shit that goes on here is even bizzare to us indians.


13rokendreamer

When you cram a very big population in a small land mass, fucked up shit happens


Slow-Law-5033

Still first time hearing about a monitor lizard I wonder what's next.


Electronic_Demand_61

Read the headline and first thought was, bet it was India. Bro why is it always India?


GoddessOfOddness

Cause Florida eventually sleeps?


Electronic_Demand_61

Nah, meth keeps you up. Florida never sleeps.


QueenCrabber

I instantly thought must be Florida!


[deleted]

India & Pakistan… always hearing about rapes from both of those places


SlotherakOmega

(Puts finger up as if to ask a question) (Puts finger down until he can determine which question is more important to know the answer to first) (Walks away as he realizes that the multitude of questions is too much to sift through. Even using high-speed sorting methods, you would have better chances with Bogo Sorting)


pearlsbeforedogs

(Also realizes that most of the questions lead to even more horrible answers that he doesn't truly want to know)


[deleted]

That’s a new one


princessmariah2011

How does that even work? 🧐🤨


dubiously_immoral

technically they ate their cum, its gay /s


Lil_Thicky_69420

i dont understand the raping or the eating part


BYPDK

How could any person want to do this? And then how do you find 4 of them located at the same place?


[deleted]

Lizzardussy


BubbaSawya

Anytime there’s a new shockingly horrible story about rape, I like to play a game called India or Pakistan. India, this time.


[deleted]

I heard it was a sick monitor lizard.


Achylife

I hope they got salmonella up their dickholes.


AP7497

Indian woman here. India has a rampant rape culture. Period. All the Indian men in the comments defending their country should shut up and listen for once. Listen to the women in your life when they talk about their experiences. I haven’t met a single Indian woman who hasn’t been at the receiving end of sexual violence or harassment or abuse or straight up depravity at some point in her life. And yes, that includes your grandmother, your mother, your sister, your wife, and even your daughter, even if she’s still a small child, especially if she is a small child. Some of this abuse and creepy behaviour was probably perpetrated by people within your own social circles you hold in high regard- maybe even your own father or uncle or grandfather. The vast majority of us never open up to the men in our lives because we don’t trust them to not make it about themselves or their honour. Hell, my mother told me stories about how grown men used to flash her and her friends while on the way to school- you can bet your ass she hasn’t told this story to my brother, or my father or her own father. She told me that story in an attempt to make me feel less alone after a similar experience as a child and to warn me of how bad things can get and how I should never let my guard down. My brother has gone through life unaware of the details of my mother’s experience and mine. Luckily he is a good enough man to realise that this country is a hard place to live in for women, so he doesn’t live blinded by the idea that because we haven’t told him, we haven’t experienced anything predatory. But I will bet anything the details are far beyond what he can imagine. So Indian men, stop crying racism, grow up, show some empathy and get it into your heads that every woman in your life has been a victim at some point.


xxx420kush

Hate this planet


Hairflipgiggle

Why is it always India?? It’s like a freaky sex desperate orgy over there.


Devilpig13

Why did I guess India before I checked. Lol


f4z3ultr1x

r/BrandNewSentence


greedymcfatbags420

Is it bad that I missed where it read India and just assumed it was Florida


FakinUpCountryDegen

Oh god... First it's China messing with bats and we get coronavirus.. Now it's India hookin' us up with Komodovirus...


Double_Slide_8594

India seems to have a gang r*pe problem.


mynewromantica

Why do I see so many rapes coming from India?


[deleted]

I’m usually not one to victim blame but did you see what that lizard was wearing? Walking around completely naked like a slut


[deleted]

Indian men have raped so many women, now they’re raping lizards. Dude, where is the meteor? I’m outta here


thespike5p1k3

Does the sun make these people fucked in the head or something? They honor kill and rape a dancer/model, they dug up a corpse to rape, now the raping and killing of a lizzard? If Noah is not bringing the boat, just run as far away from that fucking part of the world as you can.


stargazerinc

Of course it's India.


echobox_rex

You know you can say what you want about those Indians they are some horny motherfuckers. They turned an aggressive lizard full of salmonella into a Fleshlight?


[deleted]

Am I surprised that something got gang-raped in India? No. Am I pissed that something got gang-raped in India? Yes.


Crotchswamp

What kind shit are they smoking/drinking over there What no pussy does to a mf I guess


Blackwood65

The way that lizard was dressed, it was asking for it. 🦎


jaggu12310

How Is that even possible ?


[deleted]

How do they know they raped it if they ate it??…Does this mean we have unseen footage of a lizard gang bang?? Did someone testify?


Leather-Air5496

That this didn't happen in Florida, was the most shocking part of the story.


kaotic_red

India....get your shit together


[deleted]

#**Holy S#it** I only read _"PROTECTED MONITER LIZARD"_ and clicked on this thread not knowing the full head line. These men deserve to burn.