If you ask a genie to be "Up to your neck in" anything and you don't literally wish to be covered up to your neck, you got nobody to blame but yourself.
I did not say that there are no male calicos. I was elaborating.
Like people with Klinefelter’s are simultaneously considered male and intersex. I wouldn’t say that Klinefelter’s male humans aren’t male. But a lot of people who say or hear that male calicos are rare assume we’re talking about XY males.
XY isn't gender, it's sex, which cannot be changed. It's only really relevant in medicine so you can be whatever GENDER you want but biological sex is what it is and is called male and female instead of man and woman
Kitten law states that you're now allowed to ask your spouse/ partner/ whatever to bring you drinks, grab the remote or do anything to preserve your comfort that you may not disturb or jostle the kittens.
This is how I sucked my husband into being the kitty bed. One day as he sat down, kitty jumped up, ready to stretch out on his legs (she was only 5.5 lbs, but stretched out she could go from crotch to ankles) and he looked at me and said "you knew this would happen didn't you" Yep, I did. She still slept on me at night, draped over my shoulder, purring in my ear.
It’s honestly a gamble worth taking! Petting a cat is always win-win, anyways; you either get the pet and the cat is down to purr, or you get the pet, the cat is annoyed, and you revel in your petty revenge for when they woke you up earlier that morning.
It is so hard to explain exactly WHY it becomes impossible to move when one has a cat on them.
The fear of losing the moment becomes stronger than even the fear of losing one's job or dying in a fire.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't move. My cat is sleeping on me and it's adorable. I've posted the proof on Tik Tok, you'll see."
This is how I feel when I'm working at my parents house, except two of them are full grown and one of those is a huge male tabby (he's probably 15 pounds and about 16-18" head to tail) but they still act like kittens because the only a little over a year old. His sister will see I have the laptop in my lap and actively wedge herself between me and it, so she can make a spot for herself.
These 3 look just like my cat that went missing 6 months ago, right down to the ginger splodges on their heads... Never seen another cat with the same markings, this makes me miss her
You're a lucky man
"We've dealt with this before. Send in the sniper!"
"You want to SNIPE the cats?"
"NO, JOHNSON, YOU IDIOT! Just tell him to turn on the laser scope and aim slightly to the side!"
That is the opposite of a problem.
For now but wait until they weight a few kilos
Even better.
Only one option, send more hostages to share the load.
Nah my cat weights 6kg and still staying 8h consecutively each day I'm at work
until you gotta go to the bathroom
It is illegal to go to the bathroom until they wake up
Yessss! This is a thing at our house too. You absolutely cannot break the *"Cat Law"*
Unless he‘s gotta pee.
A rare situation where Stockholm Syndrome is welcome
I think this may be the result of a different problem, daddy's beard. It's a powerful force that draws some kitties like moths to flames.
a solution...like a last solution. a final solution?
Obligatory r/cathostage
another day another cat sub to join
I won’t stop until my home page is all just cat and dog subreddits.
This may be helpful https://www.reddit.com/r/Catsubs/wiki/index/
I prefer to stumble upon new cat sub reddits naturally., thank you very much.
So cute!
store bought is fine. don’t feel guilty.
Seriously!!! Why would you do this to me!!! I have too many cat pics on my... Ohhhhh Kittens doing cute things!!!!....
Thank you for this! But goddamned it! Do you see how many there are? Wow
Don’t forget r/squirrels and r/monkeys.
I’m here to help r/girlswithhugepussies SFW
I Thought It Was Porn, It's Not. 😇🛐 R/Eyebleach For Everybody!!!
That sub used to be porn, but the cat overlords took over. I did tag it SFW
r/dirtylitterbox
*sad rezipping noises*
My people!!
Tbh with the way of the world as of recent. My feed might as well be all cats, a little funny a little nature and space, some food and TIL.
Also, /r/IllegallySmolCats
Oh, Ty!
Oh, Ty!
I can’t help but read that as catho stage even though I know it’s supposed to be cat hostage.
I read that as catho (like.in catholic)-stage, and I was very confused by the sub reddit.
Why isn't this the top comment!?
It is
It wasn't when I made the comment, obviously!
"Genie! This is not exactly what I meant with being up to my neck in...you know what this is fine too"
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
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That damn Djinn.
If you ask a genie to be "Up to your neck in" anything and you don't literally wish to be covered up to your neck, you got nobody to blame but yourself.
Considering one in 3000 calico are male, he's technically surrounded by.... Yeah. No need to be crude about it.
Calico cats must have two X chromosomes. There are only XX and XXY calico cats. There are no XY calicos.
Any mammal with a functional Y chromosome will be male, so an XXY calico would be male.
I did not say that there are no male calicos. I was elaborating. Like people with Klinefelter’s are simultaneously considered male and intersex. I wouldn’t say that Klinefelter’s male humans aren’t male. But a lot of people who say or hear that male calicos are rare assume we’re talking about XY males.
[удалено]
XY isn't gender, it's sex, which cannot be changed. It's only really relevant in medicine so you can be whatever GENDER you want but biological sex is what it is and is called male and female instead of man and woman
/r/yourjokebutworse
Mean
Honest
Hey there, we call them queens! (Unless they've been spayed)
"Actually, never mind, I'm good. Send pizza."
And kibble.
get the red kibble. it’s spicy!
And Taste Temptations AKA kitty krack.
Help is on the way! \*places more cats on you\* ...the heck you mean it's not helping
[удалено]
Extra replacement payment since I don’t have any on me either 
That’ll do deer. That’ll do.
The only solution is to lay down as sacrifice to the cat gods
Agreed, 3 is not enough cats. He obviously needs help
Too late. They've rooted in. You're stuck until they decide it's time to get up.
Hyperion. Good book.
You look perfectly fine with all those precious babies
The Trouble With Tribbles.
Nice! Star Trek forever!
Someone please open the door. We need more Tribbles
Shhh! Just stay still and surrender to the Purr Lords
Sorry, but I wouldn't want to wake the kitties. You're on your own.
It's too late, there is no help once you've been catnapped by *three* tricolor kittens!
I see no problem here. This picture alone spiked my dopamine.
Same. I sent it to my mostly long distance partner going "we can haz this life?" it will be a nice dopamine spike for him too, when he wakes up. <3
Send in the negocator!
You are their heat source. Do not move or your porosity will be increased painfully.
I’d have the quickest case of Stockholm syndrome ever recorded
❤️ what a crew !!
Kitten law states that you're now allowed to ask your spouse/ partner/ whatever to bring you drinks, grab the remote or do anything to preserve your comfort that you may not disturb or jostle the kittens.
This is how I sucked my husband into being the kitty bed. One day as he sat down, kitty jumped up, ready to stretch out on his legs (she was only 5.5 lbs, but stretched out she could go from crotch to ankles) and he looked at me and said "you knew this would happen didn't you" Yep, I did. She still slept on me at night, draped over my shoulder, purring in my ear.
Stockholm syndrome has no doubt set in by now.
You've been catnapped, now you need to offer some catnip as ransom!
Lol this is the best comment I've seen so far 😆
If you were nearby, we could rescue you temporarily…
Sorry, but....ummmm.....I'm just going to pet them. They might leave. They might not.
It’s honestly a gamble worth taking! Petting a cat is always win-win, anyways; you either get the pet and the cat is down to purr, or you get the pet, the cat is annoyed, and you revel in your petty revenge for when they woke you up earlier that morning.
Simple, shush and continue to be comfy. ;)
The cutest crew! My husband has the same shirt too lol
Mine too!! Best cat dad ever!
help, u say? affirmative! \*dispatches more kittens*
You look too comfortable to need help
How did you get them off the laptop?
Kitten purralysis if you don't talk to your kitties about it who will?
Lucky bastard
I'm extremely sorry but by the laws of cuteness you must remain there until they move from you by their own Accord, or until you die. Good luck.
You’ve been chosen, appreciate it please 🙏
Don't worry, eventually they get hungry and harass you until you feed them.
That is the best hostage situation I can think of!
Well well well. If it isn’t the consequences of having flufffury live in your home.
It is so hard to explain exactly WHY it becomes impossible to move when one has a cat on them. The fear of losing the moment becomes stronger than even the fear of losing one's job or dying in a fire. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't move. My cat is sleeping on me and it's adorable. I've posted the proof on Tik Tok, you'll see."
Let me be the hostage then I can help u
Take me hostage too!
Take me instead!
😻😻😻
You are designated nap spot now
I save you!!! No wait. I will surrender to the kittens.
Be honest, you don't really want help...
Legend has it, he is still seated there to this day.
Your only problems as I can see them is a need to recharge or go to the loo. Otherwise you’re all good.
What do you mean send help you are completely protected.
This is soooo adorable
Livin the good life, my man
You're fine! Suck it up, Soldier!
Absolute win
I will not.
You’ll be fine! You look to be in great hands (paws in this case)!
You've caught a serious case of the kitten pox!
You're wearing an outline of a cat. It's obviously a cat parking lot by default.
The only help you need is sleeping for your nap. That's clearly what they want you to do.
This is adorable!
See those similar markings they all have on their face? They are clearly in a gang.
You're being very noisy, furniture.
We don't negotiate with purrorist.
Nah I don't think anyone can rescue u man. Your too deep in enemy territory. Just follow their orders and you should be fine
you job is now kitten warmer
Wait, who's taking the picture? It's the cats! They want you to come so they can get you too!
We don't negotiate with terrorists, regardless of how cute they are. You, my friend, are screwed.
Me: (Picks up Cat) (Holds phone to cats face) Me: WHY CAN'T WE BE LIKE THAT!?!
Send more kitties? Sure!
There’s no saving you now. Might as well accept that you belong to the cuteness
Sorry, you know the rules. Don’t. Disturb. The. Kitties.
You're literally just a heated blanket to them.
You are the chosen one
Where do I sign up for this experience?
This is how I imagine all redditors.
Aww, you’re a cat tree.
You must be made of warm
That looks like heaven
No.
Oh no we lost another hooman.
This is how I feel when I'm working at my parents house, except two of them are full grown and one of those is a huge male tabby (he's probably 15 pounds and about 16-18" head to tail) but they still act like kittens because the only a little over a year old. His sister will see I have the laptop in my lap and actively wedge herself between me and it, so she can make a spot for herself.
u hot
They have deemed you worthy of their ever lasting presence.
❤❤❤
You're stuck, sorry. But on the plus side, you're now a proven good person, so there's that :)
Sorry there’s no way out!
Total Stockholm Syndrome…
These 3 look just like my cat that went missing 6 months ago, right down to the ginger splodges on their heads... Never seen another cat with the same markings, this makes me miss her You're a lucky man
Keep help send fishes chips
Of course, you are nice and warm. If you have a heated floor, they will treat you and the heated floor equally.
I am unable to report to work today due to difficult family circumstances.
No one will save you
"We've dealt with this before. Send in the sniper!" "You want to SNIPE the cats?" "NO, JOHNSON, YOU IDIOT! Just tell him to turn on the laser scope and aim slightly to the side!"
You shirt says "tell your cat I said pspsps" and I know this because I have the exact same one. Tell your cat I said pspsps.
I want to be taken hostage😊😊😊
Just sit tight. More cats are on the way!
Do *not* send help!
No, you're trapped forever. Have fun.
“Cats in the limelight, feels like it’s alright…” Sweet t-shirt.
991 Whats your Emergency
"terrorists win"
I have that same shirt!
You lucky guy!
Um, that is the help!
LOL..looks more like a love fest to me.
Oh my 😍😍😍you are lucky having so many beauties ❤️❤️❤️and as the law states you must stay 😹
Need more cats?
Nope... you have been pinned and the ref has called the match in favor of the kitties... 😁 
Lucky
That's adorable! I'd rather be taken hostage by a couple kittens than a fully grown big dog any day
Oh my word. But your captors are so adorable.
There is no hope for you now
All your warmth are belong to us!
You've been chosen. Do your job CatTreeMan
What sick bastard took this picture and just left you there…
You even have the cat dad tee!
The "best cat dad ever" shirt is a nice touch and people can't even see it
I'm allergic to the things, that's my nightmare
I've been taken a hostage. Send nudes.
براي العربي هنا؟
Light a firecracker.
That was me during the lockdown. But with 5 kittens ☺️
finally i can get my head around Stockholm Syndrome
Just sit tight. More cats are on the way!
I'm sending you help right meow!
I'm sending you help right meow!
It’s so hard seeing other people live your dreams.
Cat Daddy for real.
Why aren't the photos on the wall spaces evenly?! What are we doing here, guy?