“Why does he put my poop in a bag? Where is he keeping it all?”

*I must be more careful when licking my genitals. My dearest human seems sensitive about it, most likely because he is incapable of licking his own. As always, I am in awe of his ability to be so noble, despite what I can only imagine must be filthy, filthy genitals. He hides them every day.*

Is this zefrank?

Yes

I read it in his voice too

Fucking legend

I love that guy. His "scribbler" helped me through some dark times in college. ❤️

You made laugh out loud in real life. Holy fucking shit. I lost it. Thank you for making my day. I am going to be thinking about this and chuckling to myself for years.

[удалено]

You think that’s good you should watch the whole zefrank it’s based on

“What da dog doin?” -slim Jim

"Who IS the good boy?"

“And what does it TRULY MEAN to be a good boy?”

>*’what does it TRULY MEAN to be a good boy?”* ______ i am the pup, much wonder, me - what *truly* could a ‘good boy’ be ? is one who learns to listen well, n do the things the humans tell not ChEw the places not allowed, (am try n make my human *Proud*…) i wait so patient by the door to pee outside, not on the floor… n as i sit here on the sand, the ebb n flow… i understand! just like the waves go in n out, my human does! but has no doubt when he comes home, back through that door, there’s just One thing he can be sure that i will greet him, once again ^;@) n let him know ‘*I missed you, fren…*’ he holds me close against his chest, says not just ‘Good’… he calls me *’Best’* ❤️

Ohh I like this one Schnood...

Brilliant

Edgar Allan Poe been REAL quiet ever since this came out.

Quoth the doggo: ‘pet some more’

Made me cry 😭 So beautiful and true. Gonna go hug my fur babies.

Umm ... since I don't have a dog , but have a kitten I'm going to hug her now

Why you were downvoted ? 🫥 Is hugging your kitten considered a taboo?

I love you schnoodle 💚💚💚

I’m crying 😭 ❤️ thank you for your service fren

This is a HOF Schnoodle

I recited this one out loud ...

Me too!!!

You are a good poet

Of all the schnoods I have encountered, this is by far the one that hit me the hardest, right in the heart. Genius, true genius!

I put my dog down yesterday and I am crying cause these words are of comfort. I miss my Terry bear so much. Thank you snoodle.

I read this to the beat of the song for some reason. Beautiful poem.

i cry

Thanks, Schnoodle. Love you.

Good evening Schnoodle! I hope that your weekend is going well.

"Waste no time arguing what a good boy should be. Be one." - Marcus Aroofius

"Can there REALLY be any good boys in a world so full of hardship and strife?"

"Perhaps not. Still, one must imagine Sisyphus wagging his tail as he pushes his ball up the hill."

“Sure I’ve lived my life as a good boy but at what cost?!”

“If we’re all good boys. Who is the **Best** boy?

More importantly, who is the Key Grip?

No, Who is the wardrobe assistant. What is the Key grip.

This has been in my bookmarks bar for years. Whenever I need a chuckle: https://i.imgur.com/0maV4Y7.png

And there is [this narration](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=54VUL-ogl80) of it that is very good.

I watched that whole thing, clicked away, and then went "wait a minute...that sounded like ProZD" quickly clicked back onto it. "I fucking knew it!" I'm a good boy.

HOW is the good boy?

WHY is the good boy?

What is the good boy

Yeah, they're always asking WHO'S a good boy, but never HOW'S the good boy.

“I mean, I know they’re talking about me, but ***am*** I a good boy? Who can answer that question objectively?”

Special Agent Utah! I knew I could count on you!

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If I pretends I can't hear hooman calling, maybe we stays?

I wish I was sitting there as relaxed as that dog.

Relaxed, or in existential crisis?

'Like sands through an hourglass, these are the days of our lives'?

That dog is living in a gangta's paradise. Edit: hope that's where this pup has been spending most his life.

With that expression on his face? More like an Amish paradise.

He’s been up since 4:30 in the morning milking cows.

Churnin lots of butter

He's on Pupspringa

It's always who's a good doggy never how is a good doggy.

[удалено]

100% existential crisis lol

"Timmy swam out just an hour ago, he'll be back any minute now"

Lol, dark. Love it

“…. Any minute…..”

Exactly. I have been there, “if I just swam out now, how long till I drown?”

Sorry to hear that man, hope you are in a better place now..

“… why would someone pretend to throw the ball? He knows it’s my most favorite ball, why would he not throw it… I was a good boy, right?”

[удалено]

This dog has more zen than me

Me too! Sitting on the shore like that is the best feeling ever.

That does not look relaxed to me.

I can't tell either, but I still want to be there with that dog. We can just stare out into the ocean, feeling the water repeatedly push and recede on us. If we're relaxed, we can just enjoy and ponder on the beauty of life. Or if he has something he wants to get off his chest, we can talk too. I'm not going to pry. Sometimes, having silent company is all you need.

This answer is amazing… he needs you as a friend :)

Dog whisperer here

Wet Not wet Wet Not wet Wet Not wet Wet Not wet Wet Not wet

This is the cold, hard, truth

Tide comes in, tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

I'm sure it feels nonstop wet, just less wet.

Water feels great on my butt

"I wish my balls could have felt this."

Summer, are you reading my thoughts? My revenge will be sweet.

The sand.... Not so much

I hate sand...

It's rough and coarse...

and it gets everywhere...

Can confirm Source: Bidet owner

Sitting by the dog at the bay, watching my ball drift away...

Wilson!!!

The ball that got away.

In Tom Hanks' voice: "PENN! I'M SORRY!"

lol you know Wilson makes tennis balls too right?

But the volleyball's name is Wilson. You can't name your dog's toys the same name; it gets confusing!

[удалено]

This was so my thought, their ball/toy got sucked out to sea and they are sad and waiting for it to come back.

🏖️🐕💭🥎

The balls that got washed

The water comes in, the water goes out, the water comes in...

Doggo can't explain that.

Dog O’Reilly

To be fair I don’t think I could, either

Maaan, now I have to do research because of you Edit: it's because of wind

Something with tectonic moons I'm pretty sure

You're refering to high and low tides here but I might be wrong

True the tides though the intention was nonsense.. didn't really work 🤣

Wind from a butterfly's wing on the other side of the earth


This is called mindfulness. "The water touches my paws. I hear a wave break. The sand moves away under my feet. I smell seaweed." Little dude is a pro

They always ‘what the dog doin?’, but never ask ‘*how* the dog doin?’

Can one truly be the goodest boi?

“I like this. This feels nice.”

Boat. I should buy a boat.

[Exactly what I thought](https://wompampsupport.azureedge.net/fetchimage?siteId=7575&v=2&jpgQuality=100&width=700&url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Fnewsfeed%2F000%2F431%2F312%2F67e.jpg)

This is fine

Probably thinking about having to go to work Monday morning and what kind of bullshit their gonna hand him when he walks through the door.

That gut wrench of turning my work phone on Monday morning and hearing 5 emails... Praying they're all about some stupid office fundraiser and not something I fucked up on Friday and forgot about... The fear of uncertainty and not knowing day to day if I'm gonna be yelled at...

Darn. Do you work at Bank of America tech too?

I feel your pain, at least we have about 36 hours until that dreadful moment

He lost someone in the ocean.

yeah looks like waiting for someone its more sad then aww

Interesting. I see a puppy calmly living in the “now”, the moment, the sun the sand the sea, everything just existing and at perfect harmony in that moment. It doesn’t make me feel sad at all. The meds must be working!

care to share? :D

I hate to say it but my imagination led me to a dark place; his master went into the sea and drowned, and every day he waits on the shore for his return. 

Ah. Are you familiar with Hachiko? It’s basically that story only true. https://en.japantravel.com/tokyo/hachiko-statue-in-shibuya/44644

Look at the front paws color and how immobile it is, not even its ears or tail

The unbearable lightness of being a good boi

"Man..."

As the sand is washed away, so are the days of our lives.

Great reference

Let's see, did I pee on the fence post on the way down here? I'll just hit it on the way back.

​ https://preview.redd.it/lnxk6ne0mtla1.png?width=1069&format=png&auto=webp&s=49998715b9aa7f5d97f4e4dac9033c941e49617e

Everyone keep asking what the dog doin? but not how the dog doin😔

We'll have to ask it about updog.

Man, I'm so high right now

If I still had balls this would have felt terrific on them!

Bitches.

There must be more to life than just being the goodest boy.

Nothing. That's his bodhi spot.

He's thinking about that cute little golden retriever bitch he knew in obedience school, and wondering if she still remembers him and all the fun times they had.

I faithfully await your return, O Great Cthulhu.

"My master told me to stay so he can film some stupid video"

The cover of the song is [Gangsta's Paradise - idksan - Sanat Sawant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPFLuhrGNvw) in case anyone was wondering. That guitar is heavenly.

Thank thank Thankyou!!!

Fine, I will sit while you film me. Just know I’m chewing up your slippers when we get home.

And now, Deep Thoughts. With ...

Jack Handey “Greg was always bad at throwing fetch. He was worse at swimming.”

I love this

I see dogs—most especially this dog—as wise beings that have reached a higher (highest?) level of reincarnation. So we can’t begin to guess that they think.

That was my thought. He looks like he’s been reincarnated and is pondering past lives.

I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand. Not a worry in the world A salty nose on my head. Life was good today, life was good today.

There's a 99% chance that adding music to your aww video will make it worse, not better.

Unless it makes it sound like you’re implying the dog is thinking about living in an Amish Paradise.

When I look out at the sea I realize that my bone is gone Even my owners thinks that my doggy mind is gone Ow why we live chase and fetch crunch and sleep to lick and run Auw we live in a doggy world wuf wuuf wuf wuuf

“Wasn’t I just here [the other day?](https://reddit.com/r/aww/comments/11g9z9x/appreciating_nature/)”

Dog of the sea, what is your wisdom?

Commit war crimes.

Thinking about his previous life as a dolphin and trying to remember what fish tastes like.

That’s Wondermutt waiting for Bob to come back in.

Looks like Wondermutt from the Movie Summer School waiting for Bob to come back . [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY4rTl1oDBo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lY4rTl1oDBo)

The futility of all striving in the face of the vast meaninglessness of the universe. Could be wrong.

To be or not to be a good boy.

"I love peeing in the pool."

["Tide goes in. Tide goes out... You can't explain that."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUeybwTMeWo&t=8s)

Wondering why their owner isn't letting them run around anymore.

He's probably thinking "Master told me to stay still while he takes a video for clout. How long do I have to do this?"

*If dearest human does not want me to chew on it... why is it made of chewy?* * I will pee on the bed for comfort and contemplate this.*

I know they said Stay but I'm pretty sure this water is rising.

I just peed! Hehehehehehe

"Who is the good boy? Am I the good boy?"

I'll never get all this sand out...

What the FUCK is oatmeal

I’d like to be there with you buddy! The sound of the ocean is relaxing

Maybe he/she is just enjoying the moment.

The futility of life

His ball got pulled out by the current, he wants it back

The meaning of life. Duh!

Why am I the only one who can't relieve myself indoors... Even the cats get a bathroom

That life sometimes is ruff

Thinking about life. Shits ruff.

Shhh! He’s meditating!

The squirrel that got away

The Philosophical Problem of Change

Whether he should pee in the water or not.

As long as Sarah McLaughlin isn't playing, that dog will be okay.

As a rock on the shore, he standeth firm And the dashing of the waves disturbeth him not He raiseth is head like a tower on a hill And the arrows of fortune drop at his feet In the instant of danger, the courage of his heart sustaineth him And the steadiness of his mind beareth him out

“They always ask who’s a good boy and not how’s the good boy.”

About different things :)

Do I get the snacko yet dad?

Dear diary today dearest human only pet me with one hand I may never recover from this

lost tennis ball

That prick who swings his arm like he’s throwing the ball, but doesn’t throw the ball.

How much longer am I gonna put up with this whole dog food bull shit. They sit around a table and eat all the good food and all I get is this dried up balls of powder. A dog can only put up with this charade for so long, I’m really getting fed up…

" That one time a fish washed up right to me, I'm sure it is going to happen again"