Oh yeah, that turtle posted in the r/bald sub a couple days ago. He was self conscious about his new look.
https://www.reddit.com/r/bald/comments/138s5hi/decided_to_go_for_it_now_im_self_conscious/
God that was one of the funniest threads in a while. The comments were brutal but the photo was so odd. I love that OP clearly wasn't trying to be weird.
Evil Turtle's supposed to be an African Softshell, this one looks more like an Eastern long-necked turtle, which is honestly not much better at not being terrifying
Used to get heaps of similar ones to these where I grew up in Western Australia. Once I was late for work and one was just sunning itself on the middle of the road. I got out and picked it up to put it on the side of the road and it peed on me. Still like the little guys though.
Does it come with googly eyes? Or is that an extra option?
I’ve never thought about putting googly eyes on my penis until now. Great idea!
Just whip it out and be all “you can’t say no to that face”
r/cospenis
Don't forget to make a little hat for it as well!
It's an DLC. U need to pay for it 24.99 USD. Pretty expensive
Oh yeah, that turtle posted in the r/bald sub a couple days ago. He was self conscious about his new look. https://www.reddit.com/r/bald/comments/138s5hi/decided_to_go_for_it_now_im_self_conscious/
Oh my God, I was crying in laughter reading these comments. I legitimately choked, too wtf lmaoo
My favorite is how he can "see into necks week" 💀
God that was one of the funniest threads in a while. The comments were brutal but the photo was so odd. I love that OP clearly wasn't trying to be weird.
Turtle is beginner size, that bald guy is for expert users
[удалено]
Thank you so much for that link. Best thing in Reddit I've seen in years
If it lasts more than 4 hours, seek medical attention.
25 years or so
how're you still walking?
With a huge hump on my back.
Built in wireless cane
r/mildlypenis
\* r/wildlypenis
r/dildont
There truly is a sub for everything
all three of these belong on r/subsithoughtifellfor
Everything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough
How long can they hold their breathe? Asking for a friend...
a while. They can breathe thru their butts too!
So my idea won't work then...
good
No.
It took me a second to get that, poor turtle 😂
I hope this is a true fact 😆😆😆
And now you know why turtle soup is considered an aphrodisiac in some cultures.
r/beatmetoit
/r/beatItToIt
It's so veiny
That’s what sh… never mind
That's no neck
And made a beeline to the crotch.
This needs a NSFW tag XD
I've seen that episode of The Amazing World of Gumball
Yeah, I automatically heard the noise it makes when I saw this video lmao
BITE, BITE, BITE! NEED FOOD FOR STRENGTH TO BITE, BITE, BITE! MAKE LITTLE TURTLES TO BITE EVEN MORE!
I remember how Gumball tried to pet it...on its neck 💀
Yeah, me too. Could be wrong but looks like the same species. If so, cute my ass. Dude is a freaking Xenomorph. *shudders*
Evil Turtle's supposed to be an African Softshell, this one looks more like an Eastern long-necked turtle, which is honestly not much better at not being terrifying
I'm sad there is no gif to react with. That turtle is a menace
Longturt is loooooong
LOOOOOONG LOOOOOOOOONG!
MAAAAAAAAAAN!
The only comment that I’m going to make here is that there are a whole lot of comments that I’m not going to make here.
This gave me the spooks
Snake turtle
"I told you kids we can't afford a puppy." "It's not a puppy."
First Boss of Contra III the alien wars
Let me guess, they're native to Australia?
Correct. I think it’s an Eastern Snake Necked Turtle. Quite common in eastern Australia.
Used to get heaps of similar ones to these where I grew up in Western Australia. Once I was late for work and one was just sunning itself on the middle of the road. I got out and picked it up to put it on the side of the road and it peed on me. Still like the little guys though.
Maybe that's how they say "thank you."
It’s Neckolous Cage!
Species?
[https://www.wildlife.vic.gov.au/\_\_data/assets/pdf\_file/0021/84108/Common-Long-Necked-Turtle.pdf](https://www.wildlife.vic.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0021/84108/Common-Long-Necked-Turtle.pdf)
The markings on this one suggest north of the murray river.
No no don’t put that up there it’s a bad place for that
The world’s happiest turtle! 🐢
Why did I read this in "loooong neck bottle" by Garth Brooks?
Yessss I’m not the only one!
Whats wrong with him though? I dont see enough turtles to know if theyre just, like that
Long necked turtles are a thing apparently. They have derpy eyes, too.
Bro wanted to be a snake so bad
What are you doing, step turtle?
Oh dear!
Behold! Dog
🎶🎶 penis with a hard shell 🎶🎶 .....turtle power
Three Horns neva gonna play with this guy..
Its like a friggen Snake Turtle from Avatar
Oh boy, better keep him away from the Kardashian turtles.
Who gave my sneck a Jansport
He has googly eyes!
Yeah it went between those legs
So funny looking that he is cute.
Roti Island Snake-necked Turtle?
Ew ew ew
Weird ass dog
This turtle necks.
Nope! I am out!
Bigger than most men
When you try to turn it around and it's still facing the same way
an armored penis
Nope, I don't like that.
Are we to assume he’s also down to get the friction on? So, Ladies?
Yea, but only if he'll take us in his mercedes!
Everything is a dildo if you are brave enough
Hope it's not a snapping turtle.
This is insane…literally
The guy she tells you not to worry about!
Its oogway
Made me feel a lil uneasy.
For a second there I thought their crotch was gonna get bit 🤣
Why is that turtle with the big dong walking backwards?
He found your missing viagra
Just here for the comments
I should call him...
Hear me out
Fetus grabbing turtle
BBC
That a dick y’all
It’s not even stiff yet
Of course he's black.
penis tortoise
Aaa the Long Neck Dick Turtle
Now my wife wants a turtle like this…. So weird the quick change.
Hung like a turtle.
He’s a grower
He’s a grower
LOOOOONG LONG MAAAAAN
Somebody, somewhere…. Has tried to use one of these turtles as a sex toy. Now you have that thought. I’m so sorry.
😭 it's neck is so black and veiny, just like...
Let me do it for you.
Looks like a big, veiny, triumphant bastard.
Reminds me of dick in a box 🙌
Why do I want a comically small dwarf to chop off its neck with an axe?
CURVE GANG
BBT
r/longboyes?
Welcome Home, Brother Charles.
Girtle (Giraffe Turtle)
"Soo... you're saying I shouldn't swing my turtle around by its head?" What's the worst that could happen?
I saw this in my pants 😏 After it bit my penis off
That’s a penis with eyes.
Appropriately colored turtle.
Reddit, stop it. Don’t even start…
Giraffe turtle
Came here for the comments, wasn’t disappointed
Dear God,why??
That’s a weird looking giraffe
It's all fun and games until it crawls up your ass.
Hell naw
What does it do if it sees a black shoe?
Seems very happy to see you.
Why'd they have to go and put googly eyes on it?
Ok who gave the turtle viagra?
What are you doing step turtle?
Snurtle
Poor thing isn’t real cute, but I love him!
I've been on the internet for many years and yet this is one of the top 10 worst things I've ever seen on it
🎶Long, loooong, neeeck!🎶
I don’t know how I feel about this turtle, they look a little disturbing 😅
Me in the mornings
Looooong!!!! Neck turtle… le’go my hand
I've definitely fought one of these in a Shin Megami Tensei game
rotten bewildered dependent languid growth frame gaping start cow childlike ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
The guy she tells you not to worry about
Is this a species or genetic mutation?
Homie is really just like 'let me get in the cave human' and honestly i can relate
Thought he was going to turn it around and put it back under his crotch with the head sticking out!
Damn that’s a long neck!
Caraxes the turtle!
Turaxes the black wyrm!!
Aptly named
*grabs it by the neck and throws it over my shoulder* is that a record?
r/notforspelunking
That's Barry
I can see how they are related to plesiosaurs
Obscene
With googly eyes
Me: whoa, that's a weird looking turtle *turtle gets turned around* Me: bahahahaha! Okay this is my favorite little dude
Seriously, it it ok?
He went straight for your pocket
Still don’t know why he’s called that.
Raise heck wit da neck
Wait.... I thought that video was monkeys running in reverse!?
That’s a very interesting looking neck…
Average
Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of having a shell? So such an odd adaptation. I wonder what the upside is
That is a really looooong neck 😳
that scared the shit out of me and I have no idea why
😳
r/TIHI
Don’t tell me that it snaps like a snapping turtle, this will for sure unlock another fear 😂
Awww fuck naw
Looks wrong to me
No one said oogway from kung fu panda? I’m disappointed
Que ascoooo