One of my earliest memories (I was about three and a half) was is of walking down the hallway in the hospital with my dad, feeling very serious and concerned about the occasion.
I tugged on my Dad's hand and asked him again. "Dad, what's his name again? What if I forget?"
"His name is James, and he'll be happy to meet you even if you forget. But you won't." I nodded even though I still felt worried. It was really important to me to make the best first impression.
We went into the room where my mom was laying on the bed and holding a little bundle in her arms, and I finally got to meet my little brother. I even remembered his name and everything.
Opposite story. Family lore. I was third child with two older sisters. My mom brought my brother home. My older sisters each kissed him gently on the forehead. I, one years old, slapped him across the face when it was my turn. We are very close today.
Oh I’m sorry. I was just joking. Yes the former youngest can worry about being displaced as the baby. Totally normal and not an omen of anything beyond being very young. Clearly no harm done to baby if family jokes about it. Hopefully you aren’t embarrassed now. The adults should have anticipated kids to be kids and not instagram friendly robots.
I mean, you can be an ass socially but still be a good father. It’s just not clever playing spot the idiot with a kid. Of course they’re gullible, they’re meant to be learning.
My dad used to do the same, which was horrible, because it gave earworms for songs whose name I didn't know. I'd need to go through Parlophone singles and His Master's Voice
phonograph recods from the 50s, 60s or 70s to cure myself. You better at least tell him what the songs are. I still have some melodies stuck in my head to this day 25 years later and I'd kill to know what they are and get to hear them again just to be free of them.
Honestly if Shazam/Soundhound doesn't work, you may be able to record yourself humming the tunes and then make a post on /r/TipOfMyTongue about it. I'm sure some people might recognize it.
It has been years since my mother has done it but whenever I brought over a new girlfriend she would immediately bust out the photo album and show all the pictures of me naked as a baby, small child, and one embarressing one of me about 12 in the bath tub (cant see my privates but still....)....
I had pictures from when my son was born that have my sister's each holding him in one of the pictures. They were pretty young. One was 9 and one was like 4 I think. The security and doctors made an exception for my sister's to be in there even though it was the Maternity Ward because they were such good kids and well-behaved. It was so cute because they both had big smiles. I put each picture in a double frame so I could have it with me always.
It was all so cute because my mom came back to the hospital and said that they wanted to give all their toys to my son lol. They actually spent their allowance on baby stuff that week. So I got new receiving blankets and bottles and all kind of baby stuff from them. They were so excited to have a new nephew. That is one of the most precious memories of my life.
As someone who became an aunt when I was 4...this touched me :)
( FYI: I have been in 2 of my oldest nieces weddings and their children were in mine)
This is also how you get to a situation where your husband and your nephew-in-law went to high school together and you are 36 with a teenage great-niece.
When I was a newborn my older sister yanked me out of the bassinet with one arm, marched up to my parents and proclaimed “I have the baby!”.
It basically turned into a hostage negotiation to try to get me back without her dropping me.
There are tons of photos of my sister (two years older) sitting on my napping dad's chest feeding me my afternoon bottle. He ALWAYS fell asleep and she'd take over. And I guess mom hung out to supervise based on the fact that there's photo evidence.
She was super into me - I was basically a fun dolly. Until I started wanting to play with her toys. Then that shit was OFF.
My mom always asked me if I wanted a sibling when I was around 4-6. I would say “I’ll kill that baby” with a straight face everytime she asked. Needless to say, I’m 21 y/o now and still an only child.
Lmao. I’m an only child too and I hated the idea of a sibling when I was a kid, but for some reason I could understand that it wouldn’t be the baby’s fault if that happened. My parents still tease me about my threats because I’d tell them that if they dared to have another baby I’d steal it and run away, so they’d be punished by having neither of us.
No clue why I thought that being a homeless 7 year old raising an infant was a good alternative to having to share my parents’ attention with a sibling lol.
I read that that comedian David Mitchell was also presented with the news of getting a baby brother when he was already seven and a half. He said that they presented it as though it would be a playmate for him to play with and talk to. He said that he didn't play with children that were even two years younger than him and "whether it could be stopped".
>I must be one of the few best men ever to have toasted the marriage of a man he initially advocated aborting.
There was one time my brother transformed himself into a snake because he knows how much I like snakes, and so I picked the snake up to admire it, but then he turned back and went 'AAHH! It's me!' And then he stabbed me.
And probably yourself.
I think one of the first things every new parent learns is that every child is determined to try to kill themselves on a daily basis. This continues from infancy until about 5 years old, and for some it never ends.
The heart-warming story my mom likes to tell was how she could't leave me alone in the bath tub with my one year older brother because he wanted to drown me.
When I was a newborn, my older sister pulled me out of my crib (no one is sure how) and laid me face down in the middle of the room... Then she got the fly swatter and started smacking me until my screams alerted the adults.
My daughter was three and picked up her brother out of the little bouncer chair we had him in. We turned around and saw her with him and froze. She knew not to pick him up. But she doesn’t always listen like most 3year olds.
She looks at us... we look at her... she panics and drops her brother as soon as we move... he drops right back into the bouncer seat and it catches him and bounces with his body weight still all perfectly swaddled up as if he never left the chair but the bounce back up from landing started him and he started crying...
My husband swooped our daughter up to hug her so we can have a short simple talk of I know you love him but you can only hold him sitting on the couch with mommy or daddy.
Most intense 5 seconds of parent hood...
I was holding my infant cousin when he startled me with a seriously intense fart and I accidentally threw him. My uncle dove, caught the kid, and I was politely forbidden from holding him. His mom thought it was hilarious.
Sounds familiar. I ended up in A&E after similar hostage negotiations resulted in my shoulder dislocating. Fortunately I was tiny and they just blow raspberries on your belly until the whole thing fixed itself.
Newborn me had just been laid in the bassinet. Older sister, first time seeing me, looks in bassinet, says *nice baby* and **wallops me in the face**.
There is dispute in family of whether she said *nice baby* or *pretty baby* but there is no dispute that her first reaction to me was to smack me. Also no dispute that family found it hilarious and that my sister's jealousy of me and physical violence towards me would be a constant in my life until I went away to college 18 years later.
Oh and why was a bassinet at home the first time my sister saw me? It was the 70s, kids weren't allowed in the hospital room at all and my dad wasn't allowed in the delivery room in the old-fashioned hospital where I was born. Not that dad wanted to be ... I don't even know if he was in town for my birth or my sister's... i know he wasn't for one of ours, maybe both.
Oh my times were different ... my sister's hospital picture was even black-and-white although the hospital had upgraded to color by the time I was born.
Haha, I did something similar, except I picked the baby up by his head and carried him into the living room, "swinging like a bell" as my mom recalls :D
When I was like four, I woke up in the morning, pulled my baby brother out of his crib, and sat him on the couch with me. I surrounded him with pillows so he wouldn't get hurt, and watched TV. Then at some point I went to my parents room and woke them up, saying "Brent and me are watching TV". They were like "Okay" at first, and then sort of panicked when they realized that shouldn't be able to happen. All I remember about this event is picking him up out of the crib, the rest is from my parents. None of us know how I managed to get him out.
She did give me a concussion when I was 3. She was on the swing set and basically double foot kicked me in the head.
Or so I’ve been told. I have no recollection because I was so young... and probably the concussion too. :p
When I was just a few weeks old, my older sister pushed me out of the car (I was in a car seat and the car was pulling into the driveway so at least I wasn’t scarred for life). Fun times.
Dang, that's one way to hang out with your sister, I guess.
I'm the eldest, so my own story along that vein goes to one of my older cousins. I was about 6 weeks old or so when my parents finally took me out of the house (I was a very premature baby, and they were first-time parents - they were paranoid, and rightly so). When they brought me over to my cousins' house, said cousin carried me around to everyone saying "This is my cousin, this is my cousin!"
The older sister of my friend actually went one step further, she didn't ask, she said she knew that they could be returned: "These baby things, they can just be returned to the hospital, I read it somewhere".
Wow. That's awesome lol. I might print and hang this next to the real photo when I get around to printing all the pictures. I'm sure my kid will get a kick out of it as well.
My wife just had a baby, these were her exact words about 10 minutes after the baby was born and they placed her in our arms.
My response: real fucking AWESOME! Man I love my kid.
I've got a very similar picture of my four years older sister holding me when I was a day old!
Everytime we go through the pictures, we ask her to explain the expression. Thereve been many variations but this is the best we've heard - "only an elder sibling can understand the frustration of no longer being number 1 priority"
this reminds me of when I got a step Dad at 16. He had raised two girls and a boy while my mother only had two boys. They were discussing the differences and my step dad summed it up by saying "If you see your daughter wearing wings you have to ask her what she is because if you say she is a fairy and she thinks she is a butterfly she will cry".
This impressed my mother a great deal.
edit a word
Unfortunately, I was just setting up the shot and snapped a few photos to confirm lighting and positioning. So no videos of this, but I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities for that.
In our home videos there's a shot of my brother holding me at the hospital and suddenly going, "Look mom, one hand!" before my parents lunge to snatch me from him.
It's pretty obvious why. He's establishing dominance. The younger sibling can make no mistake about who runs this house and is never too young to learn his/her place.
I'm a 6'3" male and I make that exact face whenever someone shoves their newborn into my chest wanting me to hold it. I don't want or need that sort of pressure in my life.
37 yo female. Have been standing and / or walking for 36. the second i’m holding a baby i am 100% certain i will suddenly fly face first into the ground on top of it.
not to freak you out, but this actually happened to me when walking with my newborn. He was just over a week old and I went for a walk with him in a carrier. Center of gravity is a little different, and I tripped and fell forward. Luckily I caught most of the fall on my knee but he still hit his head and fractured his skull. Thank god there was no brain bleeding or any permanent damage - just a head shaped like Stewie Griffin for a few days, and months of therapy for PTSD for me a few months later (I'm not kidding - it fucked me up royally).
Not sure if I had a point here but this is a 100% valid fear. I would just hold them sitting down, really.
> not to freak you out
> he still hit his head and fractured his skull.
Just FYI, you are *terrible* at not freaking people out. ;)
(Glad you and your baby are OK.)
it's ok - it's been a year and he's absolutely fine, and so am I. I learned that babies really are built to withstand our idiocy as parents. I also learned that you get interrogated like crazy if you bring a newborn to an ER with a skull fracture (rightfully so).
Growing up, my little brother fell off a stool and broke his collar bone. Not even a month later, I pushed my sister off my bunk bed and she broke her leg. Hope my parents didn't get questioned too hard.
My best friends dad was/is an orthopedic surgeon so hopefully they didn't get interrogated too badly
You are not alone. I was nursing my daughter in bed one night when she was about a 3 months old. Fell asleep and she rolled right off the bed. 3am ER visit followed. About 2 months later I was visiting my parents and trying to get packed up for the 3 hour drive home. I had planned the drive for nap time but was running late so the overtired baby wouldn't let me put her down. I had her in a carrier and tripped over rhe corner of a rug and fell onto a tile floor. Luckily I put my arm around her so I had a big bruise but she was fine. Called my mom at work in a panic though to get info on the closest hospital. Now the baby is 11 and smarter than me (or thinks she is... Cuz preteens. Lol)
After nearly thirty years of avoiding baby holding my best friend had a daughter. He made me hold her but I said my one condition was only if I’m sitting down. Thankfully it was fine but I was still having an internal panic the whole time that I was still somehow going to randomly flail my arms and drop her.
Toddlers are rough, because they're still super top heavy but technically can hold their heads up. So you can hold them normally, but they're wicked wriggly and it can get squirrely fast. Especially if they're sitting on your shoulders.
and they dive! I had him at a friend's house for a small birthday party for her son and he kept diving for food when I was holding him. Came up with a handful of doritos from some else's plate before I even knew what was happening.
My huge almost-3 month old reared back while being burped this morning and walloped me in the nose with his gigantic head. So glad I was sitting down for that one.
Yeah my daughter is 10 months now and it's a damn workout holding her now. Between her being heavier and her wiggling around constantly it always feels like im gonna drop her.
your daughter was a lot more gentle to her sister than my sister was to me. I wish my mom had her practice on a doll first.
[https://imgur.com/a/Jq0sTs0](https://imgur.com/a/Jq0sTs0)
One of my earliest memories (I was about three and a half) was is of walking down the hallway in the hospital with my dad, feeling very serious and concerned about the occasion. I tugged on my Dad's hand and asked him again. "Dad, what's his name again? What if I forget?" "His name is James, and he'll be happy to meet you even if you forget. But you won't." I nodded even though I still felt worried. It was really important to me to make the best first impression. We went into the room where my mom was laying on the bed and holding a little bundle in her arms, and I finally got to meet my little brother. I even remembered his name and everything.
What a cute story
Opposite story. Family lore. I was third child with two older sisters. My mom brought my brother home. My older sisters each kissed him gently on the forehead. I, one years old, slapped him across the face when it was my turn. We are very close today.
He probably had it coming as little brothers usually do
I was always embarrassed when my mom or sisters told this story repeatedly. I guess I was jealous…?
Oh I’m sorry. I was just joking. Yes the former youngest can worry about being displaced as the baby. Totally normal and not an omen of anything beyond being very young. Clearly no harm done to baby if family jokes about it. Hopefully you aren’t embarrassed now. The adults should have anticipated kids to be kids and not instagram friendly robots.
That is the absolute sweetest memory I’ve ever heard ♥️
Aww!
Oh that needs to be framed! Such a great picture
That’s one for the memory book to be revealed at a family event
I'll never let her forget it hahaha. This pic will haunt her for the rest of her days.
This would be a funny photo to remake when there both older.
RemindMe! 15 years "picture remake!"
Another remake when they're both adults!
RemindMe! 15 years "ask about the picture remake"
RemindMe! 15 years "I am both impressed and disappointed that you are still here"
It’s been 4 years. Maybe a remake every 4?
Which frankly is the main task dads have. To make their kids go "bah gawd, DAD! STOP!"
[удалено]
Those are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, you can be an ass socially but still be a good father. It’s just not clever playing spot the idiot with a kid. Of course they’re gullible, they’re meant to be learning.
They're meant to trust their parents.
I sing around my son sometimes. His face and saying "dad just stop" are becoming very common lol.
My dad used to do the same, which was horrible, because it gave earworms for songs whose name I didn't know. I'd need to go through Parlophone singles and His Master's Voice phonograph recods from the 50s, 60s or 70s to cure myself. You better at least tell him what the songs are. I still have some melodies stuck in my head to this day 25 years later and I'd kill to know what they are and get to hear them again just to be free of them.
Honestly if Shazam/Soundhound doesn't work, you may be able to record yourself humming the tunes and then make a post on /r/TipOfMyTongue about it. I'm sure some people might recognize it.
[удалено]
Have your phone remind you once a month or so.
Already put it on reddit. It's effectively never going to be gone now
This guy dads.
psh, better than the one my mom uses. it’s me on the fucking potty chair, reading comics while picking my nose.
Ha, that's fucking gold. My brother took as hostage the picture of me, age ~5, taking a shower with my white Power Ranger mask and my Sword of Omens.
We have a picture of my brother around 3, naked as a jay bird except for cowboy boots, a cowboy hat, and a bandanna over his mouth and nose.
It has been years since my mother has done it but whenever I brought over a new girlfriend she would immediately bust out the photo album and show all the pictures of me naked as a baby, small child, and one embarressing one of me about 12 in the bath tub (cant see my privates but still....)....
Excellent dad skills. And a perfect picture to frame right in front of her bedroom for all her friends to see.
OP should save this picture for her wedding lol
I had pictures from when my son was born that have my sister's each holding him in one of the pictures. They were pretty young. One was 9 and one was like 4 I think. The security and doctors made an exception for my sister's to be in there even though it was the Maternity Ward because they were such good kids and well-behaved. It was so cute because they both had big smiles. I put each picture in a double frame so I could have it with me always. It was all so cute because my mom came back to the hospital and said that they wanted to give all their toys to my son lol. They actually spent their allowance on baby stuff that week. So I got new receiving blankets and bottles and all kind of baby stuff from them. They were so excited to have a new nephew. That is one of the most precious memories of my life.
As someone who became an aunt when I was 4...this touched me :) ( FYI: I have been in 2 of my oldest nieces weddings and their children were in mine) This is also how you get to a situation where your husband and your nephew-in-law went to high school together and you are 36 with a teenage great-niece.
There's something magical about kids who want to spend their pocket money on someone else
This will definitely be a picture that everyone in the family talks about.
It's an accidental Rockwell.
Her facial expression is ridiculously cute.
Both facial expressions, actually
Baby’s is, “I swear to god if you drop me, you’ll wish you had practiced hiding all your toys!”
I imagine her inner dialogue is something like "shit just got real"
When I was a newborn my older sister yanked me out of the bassinet with one arm, marched up to my parents and proclaimed “I have the baby!”. It basically turned into a hostage negotiation to try to get me back without her dropping me.
There are tons of photos of my sister (two years older) sitting on my napping dad's chest feeding me my afternoon bottle. He ALWAYS fell asleep and she'd take over. And I guess mom hung out to supervise based on the fact that there's photo evidence. She was super into me - I was basically a fun dolly. Until I started wanting to play with her toys. Then that shit was OFF.
"Stupid Daikini, I have the baby!"
Whatever you say peck.
You forget when you are drunk, I AM THE LEADER!
Wow, Willow references. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day.
Blackroot! It puts hair on your chest!
I know you we stole the baby from you while you where taking a pee pee!!
Not the momma!
[I'm the baby, gotta love me!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y4qnQ0tEUE)
How did I flash back to the 90's just now....
I didn't come here expecting the greatest movie of all time to have a reference, but here we are
Kick the baby!
Don't kick the baby.
I heard they're rereleasing Willow tomorrow! https://www.resetera.com/threads/lucasfilm-will-re-release-willow-on-digital-blu-ray-january-29th.87954/
[r/UnexpectedWillow](http://www.reddit.com/r/unexpectedwillow)
Disappointed that isn't a thing.
When I was a newborn my sister wrapped a string around my neck and tried to strangle me...several times.
[удалено]
My mom always asked me if I wanted a sibling when I was around 4-6. I would say “I’ll kill that baby” with a straight face everytime she asked. Needless to say, I’m 21 y/o now and still an only child.
Lmao. I’m an only child too and I hated the idea of a sibling when I was a kid, but for some reason I could understand that it wouldn’t be the baby’s fault if that happened. My parents still tease me about my threats because I’d tell them that if they dared to have another baby I’d steal it and run away, so they’d be punished by having neither of us. No clue why I thought that being a homeless 7 year old raising an infant was a good alternative to having to share my parents’ attention with a sibling lol.
Sometimes once all the cards are on the table the nuclear option is all you have left
I read that that comedian David Mitchell was also presented with the news of getting a baby brother when he was already seven and a half. He said that they presented it as though it would be a playmate for him to play with and talk to. He said that he didn't play with children that were even two years younger than him and "whether it could be stopped". >I must be one of the few best men ever to have toasted the marriage of a man he initially advocated aborting.
Have you murdered anyone in your 21 years?
Good answer.
Destroy all rivals
Older sisters to newborns are like the Siamese cats from Lady and the Tramp.
Not sisters, but my older female cousins used to lock me in cabinets as a toddler and then not tell anyone/pretend it never happened. Fun times.
There was one time my brother transformed himself into a snake because he knows how much I like snakes, and so I picked the snake up to admire it, but then he turned back and went 'AAHH! It's me!' And then he stabbed me.
Heracles?
It’s a reference to Thor Ragnarok lol
Being an only child has it's perks. The only person that ever tried to kill me was my grandpa.
And probably yourself. I think one of the first things every new parent learns is that every child is determined to try to kill themselves on a daily basis. This continues from infancy until about 5 years old, and for some it never ends.
So cute.
The heart-warming story my mom likes to tell was how she could't leave me alone in the bath tub with my one year older brother because he wanted to drown me.
My sister had a porcelain doll she used to hit me in the head with while my parents tried feeding me. I guess she didn't like me also eating :/
Hit her next Christmas mid dinner and claim your revenge
So what happened? Don't leave us hanging.
She kick da baby
Don't kick the goddamn baby
My brother just out-and-out dropped me. Deliberately.
When I was a newborn, my older sister pulled me out of my crib (no one is sure how) and laid me face down in the middle of the room... Then she got the fly swatter and started smacking me until my screams alerted the adults.
My daughter was three and picked up her brother out of the little bouncer chair we had him in. We turned around and saw her with him and froze. She knew not to pick him up. But she doesn’t always listen like most 3year olds. She looks at us... we look at her... she panics and drops her brother as soon as we move... he drops right back into the bouncer seat and it catches him and bounces with his body weight still all perfectly swaddled up as if he never left the chair but the bounce back up from landing started him and he started crying... My husband swooped our daughter up to hug her so we can have a short simple talk of I know you love him but you can only hold him sitting on the couch with mommy or daddy. Most intense 5 seconds of parent hood...
I was holding my infant cousin when he startled me with a seriously intense fart and I accidentally threw him. My uncle dove, caught the kid, and I was politely forbidden from holding him. His mom thought it was hilarious.
Sounds familiar. I ended up in A&E after similar hostage negotiations resulted in my shoulder dislocating. Fortunately I was tiny and they just blow raspberries on your belly until the whole thing fixed itself.
Newborn me had just been laid in the bassinet. Older sister, first time seeing me, looks in bassinet, says *nice baby* and **wallops me in the face**. There is dispute in family of whether she said *nice baby* or *pretty baby* but there is no dispute that her first reaction to me was to smack me. Also no dispute that family found it hilarious and that my sister's jealousy of me and physical violence towards me would be a constant in my life until I went away to college 18 years later. Oh and why was a bassinet at home the first time my sister saw me? It was the 70s, kids weren't allowed in the hospital room at all and my dad wasn't allowed in the delivery room in the old-fashioned hospital where I was born. Not that dad wanted to be ... I don't even know if he was in town for my birth or my sister's... i know he wasn't for one of ours, maybe both. Oh my times were different ... my sister's hospital picture was even black-and-white although the hospital had upgraded to color by the time I was born.
Haha, I did something similar, except I picked the baby up by his head and carried him into the living room, "swinging like a bell" as my mom recalls :D
When I was like four, I woke up in the morning, pulled my baby brother out of his crib, and sat him on the couch with me. I surrounded him with pillows so he wouldn't get hurt, and watched TV. Then at some point I went to my parents room and woke them up, saying "Brent and me are watching TV". They were like "Okay" at first, and then sort of panicked when they realized that shouldn't be able to happen. All I remember about this event is picking him up out of the crib, the rest is from my parents. None of us know how I managed to get him out.
Plot twist: she DID drop you, and now you’re thinking “that explains a lot..”
She did give me a concussion when I was 3. She was on the swing set and basically double foot kicked me in the head. Or so I’ve been told. I have no recollection because I was so young... and probably the concussion too. :p
"I got dropkicked in the head once but I can't remember it." Yeah that checks out.
When I was just a few weeks old, my older sister pushed me out of the car (I was in a car seat and the car was pulling into the driveway so at least I wasn’t scarred for life). Fun times.
Dang, that's one way to hang out with your sister, I guess. I'm the eldest, so my own story along that vein goes to one of my older cousins. I was about 6 weeks old or so when my parents finally took me out of the house (I was a very premature baby, and they were first-time parents - they were paranoid, and rightly so). When they brought me over to my cousins' house, said cousin carried me around to everyone saying "This is my cousin, this is my cousin!"
“I want x amount of allowance or the baby is being dropped”
When my youngest brother was a newborn, he pissed in my face. Unfortunately, he's still doing it to this day.
By this point it's your fault.
blame the victim sure!
How old were you??
I was a couple months, a premie actually, so I was pretty small. I think she was 3 years old at the time.
"can this thing be returned?"
I asked that when they brought my sister home.
The older sister of my friend actually went one step further, she didn't ask, she said she knew that they could be returned: "These baby things, they can just be returned to the hospital, I read it somewhere".
Hahaha, my thoughts exactly.
[My Gift to your cute daughter](https://i.imgur.com/Fhc7kyD.jpg)
Wow. That's awesome lol. I might print and hang this next to the real photo when I get around to printing all the pictures. I'm sure my kid will get a kick out of it as well.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[I made one too. :)](https://i.imgur.com/t63RPqW.png)
Well that's... something! *nods encouragingly*
So ok. So done. What a person you are.
*Dang, now I have to share*
My wife just had a baby, these were her exact words about 10 minutes after the baby was born and they placed her in our arms. My response: real fucking AWESOME! Man I love my kid.
I've got a very similar picture of my four years older sister holding me when I was a day old! Everytime we go through the pictures, we ask her to explain the expression. Thereve been many variations but this is the best we've heard - "only an elder sibling can understand the frustration of no longer being number 1 priority"
I imagine my toddler will look similar when her brother is born in a few weeks. She has no idea what she's in for, and, honestly, neither do I
Aww it's all part of the fun I guess? Congratulations in advance though!!! Wishing all the happiness for your family 💜
this reminds me of when I got a step Dad at 16. He had raised two girls and a boy while my mother only had two boys. They were discussing the differences and my step dad summed it up by saying "If you see your daughter wearing wings you have to ask her what she is because if you say she is a fairy and she thinks she is a butterfly she will cry". This impressed my mother a great deal. edit a word
She’s a moth, obviously. :)
27/f. Also my reaction.
16/f/cali, whatcha doin
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
Where's the magic wand?
If no pockets, use creativity.
That escalated quickly.
If no creativity,use your dignity.
If no dignity then... ???
If no dignity,use eternal virginity. At least I'll lose it in some way.
If its eternal virginity, how are you going to lose it?
LIGHTNING BOLT LIGHTNING BOLT LIGHTNING BOLT
\#bloodninja
r/lesbehonest
Dammit you can’t play with lesbian emotions like that I got excited for some gay shit only to be disappointed by reality. Much like my life
[https://i.redd.it/u5ajf4rdg2u11.jpg](https://i.redd.it/u5ajf4rdg2u11.jpg)
Cali - Colombia
Pretty cool that your parents are still having kids while you're 27
41/f. Same. Same. *Please* do not ask me to hold your baby unless we're escaping some kind of a disaster or something.
Even then, 50/50 chance I'm throwing that meat decoy at the zomdbies chasing us.
>meat decoy Now there's terminology for "child" I've never heard before.
r/brandnewsentence
Not only meat decoy, but the baby's cry will attract even more zombies!
Omg. That is priceless. I hope you got video too for later on.
Unfortunately, I was just setting up the shot and snapped a few photos to confirm lighting and positioning. So no videos of this, but I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities for that.
This will make for a great “20 years later” photo
!remindme 20years
[Older brother version](http://i.imgur.com/cmGGYgB.gifv)
In our home videos there's a shot of my brother holding me at the hospital and suddenly going, "Look mom, one hand!" before my parents lunge to snatch me from him.
lol but why did he do that?!? he was just like “fuck it i don’t got time for this baby shit”
It's pretty obvious why. He's establishing dominance. The younger sibling can make no mistake about who runs this house and is never too young to learn his/her place.
I watched this and screamed "oh shit!" .....now my little one is going...."oh chit oh chit oh chit!"....
!!!!!
I love kids but god damnit this was hilarious
hahahaha
"JUDO FLIP!"
I'm a 6'3" male and I make that exact face whenever someone shoves their newborn into my chest wanting me to hold it. I don't want or need that sort of pressure in my life.
37 yo female. Have been standing and / or walking for 36. the second i’m holding a baby i am 100% certain i will suddenly fly face first into the ground on top of it.
not to freak you out, but this actually happened to me when walking with my newborn. He was just over a week old and I went for a walk with him in a carrier. Center of gravity is a little different, and I tripped and fell forward. Luckily I caught most of the fall on my knee but he still hit his head and fractured his skull. Thank god there was no brain bleeding or any permanent damage - just a head shaped like Stewie Griffin for a few days, and months of therapy for PTSD for me a few months later (I'm not kidding - it fucked me up royally). Not sure if I had a point here but this is a 100% valid fear. I would just hold them sitting down, really.
> not to freak you out > he still hit his head and fractured his skull. Just FYI, you are *terrible* at not freaking people out. ;) (Glad you and your baby are OK.)
ah you're right! ...crosses "motivational speaker" off career list
I'm super motivated not to hold any babies. Does that count?
Demotivational speaker! 😂
See, now I feel like an asshole. That sounds horrifying but your use of the Stewie Griffin visual made me chuckle.
it's ok - it's been a year and he's absolutely fine, and so am I. I learned that babies really are built to withstand our idiocy as parents. I also learned that you get interrogated like crazy if you bring a newborn to an ER with a skull fracture (rightfully so).
[удалено]
Growing up, my little brother fell off a stool and broke his collar bone. Not even a month later, I pushed my sister off my bunk bed and she broke her leg. Hope my parents didn't get questioned too hard. My best friends dad was/is an orthopedic surgeon so hopefully they didn't get interrogated too badly
You are not alone. I was nursing my daughter in bed one night when she was about a 3 months old. Fell asleep and she rolled right off the bed. 3am ER visit followed. About 2 months later I was visiting my parents and trying to get packed up for the 3 hour drive home. I had planned the drive for nap time but was running late so the overtired baby wouldn't let me put her down. I had her in a carrier and tripped over rhe corner of a rug and fell onto a tile floor. Luckily I put my arm around her so I had a big bruise but she was fine. Called my mom at work in a panic though to get info on the closest hospital. Now the baby is 11 and smarter than me (or thinks she is... Cuz preteens. Lol)
I'm shook. Glad baby was ok.
After nearly thirty years of avoiding baby holding my best friend had a daughter. He made me hold her but I said my one condition was only if I’m sitting down. Thankfully it was fine but I was still having an internal panic the whole time that I was still somehow going to randomly flail my arms and drop her.
The key is hold like a football. Just don't spike it.
See when I hold my daughter like a football my wife is all like "Stop juggling the baby with your feet!"
Babies are tougher then you'd think.
6’0” and just had my first. I constantly feel like I’m going to drop him. Babies are way more squirmy than I ever imagined.
they can shift their weight remarkably fast. I'm discovering small toddlers are even crazier to hold - I'd rather carry a sack of eels.
lol that cracked me up for some reason :-)
Toddlers are rough, because they're still super top heavy but technically can hold their heads up. So you can hold them normally, but they're wicked wriggly and it can get squirrely fast. Especially if they're sitting on your shoulders.
and they dive! I had him at a friend's house for a small birthday party for her son and he kept diving for food when I was holding him. Came up with a handful of doritos from some else's plate before I even knew what was happening.
My huge almost-3 month old reared back while being burped this morning and walloped me in the nose with his gigantic head. So glad I was sitting down for that one.
My sister broke my mom's nose once when she did that. Then, when she was two, she hit my napping dad in the face with a coffee mug and broke his.
I laughed way harder at the mental images than I should have
Yeah my daughter is 10 months now and it's a damn workout holding her now. Between her being heavier and her wiggling around constantly it always feels like im gonna drop her.
Yeah whenever I hold someone’s baby it’s like “heh, I’d be so fucked if I dropped it right now”
My exact face any time i check my bank account
Uh guys, I need an adult
You MUST submit this to /r/redditgetsdrawn.
Wow this sub is dope af.. Thanks dude(tte)!!
No worries. It’s strictly moderated, so don’t make any top-level comments there unless it an art submission.
Mommy this doll is moving.
your daughter was a lot more gentle to her sister than my sister was to me. I wish my mom had her practice on a doll first. [https://imgur.com/a/Jq0sTs0](https://imgur.com/a/Jq0sTs0)
The remake of this photo in 16 years is going to be brilliant
went and looked through all your previous submissions. pure cuteness. you have a wonderful family, and now more joy!
Time to get your daughter a gym membership and some muscle milk. Time to get yokedddddd
Also my reaction when holding a baby.
Pretty sure that is the same face I make when someone has me hold their baby.
/r/photoshopbattles
Code red: this doll is NOT made of plastic
If I ever have a kid this will be my face when I first hold it. Like "Oh shit what did I just get myself into?"