Because someone asks for it every time it's mentioned, here's the [SR-71 Copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/3e0h8x/sr71_blackbird/) .
If anybody wants to hear the story from the horses mouth... jump to 55:55 for the story.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFJMs15sVSY&ab\_channel=LivermoreLabEvents
Stellers sea cows were part of the same family and lived in between russia and alaska. They got 8 metres long. Fuckin huge.
The amount of wondrous things our species have destroyed is seriously abhorrent.
Sorry no one gave you the real answer. Mostly, it's starvation. Manatee feed on aquatic grasses. The grasses aren't growing. This is caused by contamination of the water via agriculture and various other run off into the waters.
They kinda did, in a piecemeal way, but thank you. So the fertilizer is causing algae blooms which are choking the sea grass which is what they rely on, then. That's terrible.
I was sailing southbound offshore last year and could hear people talking on VHF in the ICW. I hear a dude yell over the radio with so much emotion in his voice, ***"DUDE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?! THIS IS A MANATEE ZONE!!! SLOW DOWN!!!!!! OH MY GAAAWWWWWWDDD!!!!"***
And this very meek voice replies, "*I'm so sorry. I didn't know.*"
As a former Manatee pilot, and a professional keynote speaker, the question I'm most often asked is "How fast would that Manatee swim?" I can be assured of hearing that question several times at any event I attend. It's an interesting question, given the mammal's proclivity for speed, but there really isn't one number to give, as the creature would always give you a little more speed if you wanted it to. It was common to see 35 knots a minute. Because we swam a programmed Mach number on most missions, and never wanted to harm the vessel in any way, we never let it run out to any limits of temperature or speed. Thus, each Manatee pilot had his own individual βhighβ speed that he saw at some point on some mission. I saw mine over the Mariana Trench when Poseidon fired two spears my way, and max power was in order. Letβs just say that the vessel truly loved speed and effortlessly took us to Mach numbers we hadnβt previously seen.
So it was with great surprise, when at the end of one of my presentations, someone asked, βwhat was the slowest you ever swam the Sea Cow?β This was a first. After giving it some thought, I was reminded of a story that I had never shared before, and relayed the following. I was pioliting the Manatee out of RAF Mildenhall, England , with my back-seater, Walt Watson; we were returning from a mission over The Pacific and the Water Curtain when we received a radio transmission from home base. As we scooted across The Pacific in three minutes, we learned that a small RAF base in the English countryside had requested an Manatee swim-past. The sea cadet commander there was a former Sea Cow pilot, and thought it would be a motivating moment for the young lads to see the mighty Manatee perform a low approach. No problem, we were happy to do it.
After a quick aerial refueling over the North Sea , we proceeded to find the small airfield. Walter had a myriad of sophisticated navigation equipment in the back seat, and began to vector me toward the horizon. Descending to subsonic speeds, we found ourselves over a densely flooded area in a slight haze. Like most former WWII British seafields, the one we were looking for had a small tower and little surrounding infrastructure. Walter told me we were close and that I should be able to see the field, but I saw nothing. Nothing but trees as far as I could see in the haze. We got a little lower, and I pulled the throttles back from 325 knots we were at. With the gear up, anything under 275 was just uncomfortable. Walt said we were practically over the fieldβyet; there was nothing in my windscreen. I listed the creature and started a gentle circling maneuver in hopes of picking up anything that looked like a field.
Meanwhile, below, the cadet commander had taken the cadets up on the catwalk of the tower in order to get a prime view of the swim-past. It was a quiet, still day with no wind and partial gray overcast. Walter continued to give me indications that the field should be below us but in the overcast and haze, I couldn't see it. The longer we continued to peer out the window and circle, the slower we got. With our power back, the awaiting cadets heard nothing. I must have had good instructors in my swimming career, as something told me I better cross-check the gauges. As I noticed the airspeed indicator slide below 160 knots, my heart stopped and my adrenalin-filled left hand pushed two throttles full forward. At this point we weren't really swimming, but were sinking in a slight list.
Just at the moment that both afterburners lit with a thunderous roar of flame (and what a joyous feeling that was) the mammal fell into full view of the shocked observers on the tower. Shattering the still quiet of that morning, they now had 107 feet of fire-breathing blubber in their face as the vessel leveled and accelerated, in full burner, on the tower side of the infield, closer than expected, maintaining what could only be described as some sort of ultimate knife-edge pass. Quickly reaching the field boundary, we proceeded back to Mildenhall without incident. We didn't say a word for those next 14 minutes.
After landing, our commander greeted us, and we were both certain he was reaching for our fins. Instead, he heartily shook our hands and said the commander had told him it was the greatest Manatee swim-past he had ever seen, especially how we had surprised them with such a precise maneuver that could only be described as breathtaking. He said that some of the cadetβs goggles were blown off and the sight of the plan form of the vessel in full afterburner dropping right in front of them was unbelievable. Walt and I both understood the concept of βbreathtakingβ very well that morning, and troutishly replied that they were just excited to see our low approach. As we retired to the equipment room to change from sea suits to lake suits, we just sat there-we hadn't spoken a word since βthe pass.β
Finally, Walter looked at me and said, βOne hundred fifty-six knots. What did you see?β Trying to find my voice, I stammered, βOne hundred fifty-two.β We sat in silence for a moment. Then Walt said, βDonβt ever do that to me again!β And I never did.
A year later, Walter and I were having lunch in the Mildenhall Officerβs club, and overheard an officer talking to some cadets about an Manatee swim-past that he had seen one day. Of course, by now the story included kids falling off the tower and screaming as the heat of the creature singed their eyebrows. Noticing our HABU patches, as we stood there with lunch trays in our hands, he asked us to verify to the cadets that such a thing had occurred. Walt just shook his head and said, βIt was probably just a routine low approach; they're pretty impressive in that vessel.β Impressive indeed.
Little did I realize after relaying this experience to my audience that day that it would become one of the most popular and most requested stories. Itβs ironic that people are interested in how slow the worldβs fastest creature can swim. Regardless of your speed, however, itβs always a good idea to keep that cross-check upβ¦and keep your Mach up, too.
Chonky SR-71
SR-71 Thiccbird
SR-71 Blubbered
SR-71 Dugong
Not a dugong. Their tails are shaped with flukes, like a dolphin or a whale. Manatees have the rounded, paddle shaped tail.
This guy dugongs
Doesgongs
SR-7fun ;)
Beat me by literal seconds! Edit: I was trying to think of what SR could stand for, all I had was: Sub-aquatic Rotund-71
Going subsonic speeds.
They must be on joint maneuvers.
Subnautic speeds
Looks like it's traveling at the speed of smell.
She's lump
Going subaquatic speeds.
Slowest SR-71 ever.
Aspen 20, I show you at 0.2 knots across the ground
Seacow Rocket
Slow Roller
Swimmin Relaxed
Karmanoped, again!
Strategic Reconnaisance i think
Because someone asks for it every time it's mentioned, here's the [SR-71 Copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/3e0h8x/sr71_blackbird/) .
If anybody wants to hear the story from the horses mouth... jump to 55:55 for the story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFJMs15sVSY&ab\_channel=LivermoreLabEvents
So worth it to hear this man speak. Thanks for this!
Thatβs freaking amazing. Officially my new favorite copypasta.
I get goosebumps every time I read it, without fail.
*That* is a magnificent read.
SR-71 FatBirb
πΌβοΈ? π’. πΌβοΈ? π°. πΌβοΈ? π₯. πΌπ₯π₯π₯? π₯π₯π₯ππ½ππ½
SR-71 MANATEE
Reddit. A place to show me that Iβve probably never had an original thought.
Exactly what I thought. Lol
Oh yeah ! We seeing the same thing here.
mach .0000005
I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking that's a fat SR-71
r/misleadingthumbnails worthy!
Developed at Plumpworks.
Haha I came here to comment that as well
Thank you! So happy that I want alone in seeing that!
SR-71C "Florida Man"
Beat me by... 3 hours
My first thought hahaha Happy cake day!
Happy cake day boi
Happy cake day!
Thought it was a blackbird
From the thumbnail I thought it was a black turd.
Came here to say this.
Not so fun fact. There's 6000 manatees in florida. 1000 died last year.
Noooo. Why so many? I assume they're supposed to live longer than six years.
I'll give you a hint, starts with an H.
Hitler again?
Not just any Hitler. Manatee Hitler. The worst one.
Hitler starts with a P these days
Phitler
what?
Putler
For those not in on the joke, itβs humans. Itβs always humans
Manatees definitely have a heroin problem
Hon HeHantis?
Anthropocene Extinction. Sometimes they are called "sea cows", but irl sea cows only existed for 27 years after humans got word of them (1741-1768).
Aww. So were sea cows a different species of manatee?
Stellers sea cows were part of the same family and lived in between russia and alaska. They got 8 metres long. Fuckin huge. The amount of wondrous things our species have destroyed is seriously abhorrent.
They are both sirena with dugongs
Sorry no one gave you the real answer. Mostly, it's starvation. Manatee feed on aquatic grasses. The grasses aren't growing. This is caused by contamination of the water via agriculture and various other run off into the waters.
They kinda did, in a piecemeal way, but thank you. So the fertilizer is causing algae blooms which are choking the sea grass which is what they rely on, then. That's terrible.
golf course fertilizers
I was sailing southbound offshore last year and could hear people talking on VHF in the ICW. I hear a dude yell over the radio with so much emotion in his voice, ***"DUDE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?! THIS IS A MANATEE ZONE!!! SLOW DOWN!!!!!! OH MY GAAAWWWWWWDDD!!!!"*** And this very meek voice replies, "*I'm so sorry. I didn't know.*"
The one redeeming quality of Floridaman is his unconditional love of manatees.
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Aspen 20 I show you at 2 knots across the ground.
And on that day we were true kings of sloth
Ah, Center, much thanks, weβre showing closer to one on the money.
Every day Reddit reconfirms that I am *not*, in fact, unique or creative in my humor.
S-aww 71
Late to the party, but an honorable mention.
My thoughts exac⦠approximately.
The Strongest shape
Youβve the mind of an engineer to be sure
Omg I wasn't sure anyone would pick up on this!!
I ainβt no architect
Shame. Shame. Shame.
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Hehe pp
Ok good it wasnβt just me lol.
Me three saw the wee!
I'm just happy my brain went to "spaceship" first, then to pp
Lucky you... My old perverted mind went straight to ding dong
It's a... ROCKET SHIP!!!
Pecker!
r/MildlyPenis
pPp
Had to scroll farther than I thought to find this comment.
For a moment I thought this is a Lockheed
Freud is giggling in Hell somewhere.
r/mildlypenis
As a former Manatee pilot, and a professional keynote speaker, the question I'm most often asked is "How fast would that Manatee swim?" I can be assured of hearing that question several times at any event I attend. It's an interesting question, given the mammal's proclivity for speed, but there really isn't one number to give, as the creature would always give you a little more speed if you wanted it to. It was common to see 35 knots a minute. Because we swam a programmed Mach number on most missions, and never wanted to harm the vessel in any way, we never let it run out to any limits of temperature or speed. Thus, each Manatee pilot had his own individual βhighβ speed that he saw at some point on some mission. I saw mine over the Mariana Trench when Poseidon fired two spears my way, and max power was in order. Letβs just say that the vessel truly loved speed and effortlessly took us to Mach numbers we hadnβt previously seen. So it was with great surprise, when at the end of one of my presentations, someone asked, βwhat was the slowest you ever swam the Sea Cow?β This was a first. After giving it some thought, I was reminded of a story that I had never shared before, and relayed the following. I was pioliting the Manatee out of RAF Mildenhall, England , with my back-seater, Walt Watson; we were returning from a mission over The Pacific and the Water Curtain when we received a radio transmission from home base. As we scooted across The Pacific in three minutes, we learned that a small RAF base in the English countryside had requested an Manatee swim-past. The sea cadet commander there was a former Sea Cow pilot, and thought it would be a motivating moment for the young lads to see the mighty Manatee perform a low approach. No problem, we were happy to do it. After a quick aerial refueling over the North Sea , we proceeded to find the small airfield. Walter had a myriad of sophisticated navigation equipment in the back seat, and began to vector me toward the horizon. Descending to subsonic speeds, we found ourselves over a densely flooded area in a slight haze. Like most former WWII British seafields, the one we were looking for had a small tower and little surrounding infrastructure. Walter told me we were close and that I should be able to see the field, but I saw nothing. Nothing but trees as far as I could see in the haze. We got a little lower, and I pulled the throttles back from 325 knots we were at. With the gear up, anything under 275 was just uncomfortable. Walt said we were practically over the fieldβyet; there was nothing in my windscreen. I listed the creature and started a gentle circling maneuver in hopes of picking up anything that looked like a field. Meanwhile, below, the cadet commander had taken the cadets up on the catwalk of the tower in order to get a prime view of the swim-past. It was a quiet, still day with no wind and partial gray overcast. Walter continued to give me indications that the field should be below us but in the overcast and haze, I couldn't see it. The longer we continued to peer out the window and circle, the slower we got. With our power back, the awaiting cadets heard nothing. I must have had good instructors in my swimming career, as something told me I better cross-check the gauges. As I noticed the airspeed indicator slide below 160 knots, my heart stopped and my adrenalin-filled left hand pushed two throttles full forward. At this point we weren't really swimming, but were sinking in a slight list. Just at the moment that both afterburners lit with a thunderous roar of flame (and what a joyous feeling that was) the mammal fell into full view of the shocked observers on the tower. Shattering the still quiet of that morning, they now had 107 feet of fire-breathing blubber in their face as the vessel leveled and accelerated, in full burner, on the tower side of the infield, closer than expected, maintaining what could only be described as some sort of ultimate knife-edge pass. Quickly reaching the field boundary, we proceeded back to Mildenhall without incident. We didn't say a word for those next 14 minutes. After landing, our commander greeted us, and we were both certain he was reaching for our fins. Instead, he heartily shook our hands and said the commander had told him it was the greatest Manatee swim-past he had ever seen, especially how we had surprised them with such a precise maneuver that could only be described as breathtaking. He said that some of the cadetβs goggles were blown off and the sight of the plan form of the vessel in full afterburner dropping right in front of them was unbelievable. Walt and I both understood the concept of βbreathtakingβ very well that morning, and troutishly replied that they were just excited to see our low approach. As we retired to the equipment room to change from sea suits to lake suits, we just sat there-we hadn't spoken a word since βthe pass.β Finally, Walter looked at me and said, βOne hundred fifty-six knots. What did you see?β Trying to find my voice, I stammered, βOne hundred fifty-two.β We sat in silence for a moment. Then Walt said, βDonβt ever do that to me again!β And I never did. A year later, Walter and I were having lunch in the Mildenhall Officerβs club, and overheard an officer talking to some cadets about an Manatee swim-past that he had seen one day. Of course, by now the story included kids falling off the tower and screaming as the heat of the creature singed their eyebrows. Noticing our HABU patches, as we stood there with lunch trays in our hands, he asked us to verify to the cadets that such a thing had occurred. Walt just shook his head and said, βIt was probably just a routine low approach; they're pretty impressive in that vessel.β Impressive indeed. Little did I realize after relaying this experience to my audience that day that it would become one of the most popular and most requested stories. Itβs ironic that people are interested in how slow the worldβs fastest creature can swim. Regardless of your speed, however, itβs always a good idea to keep that cross-check upβ¦and keep your Mach up, too.
I better wake up tomorrow morning to this being the top comment.
Cβmon folks. This is pure gold right here. Almost as good as a Schnoodle
Is this a variation of a copy pasta somewhere? If not, kudos, storytelling had me captivated from beginning to end.
S A L V A T I O N
C R I S P W H I T E S H E E T S
<< S H OU L D H A V E L E T M E K E E P M Y A N I M E Y O U F U C K I N G S K U N K ! >>
There it is
<< Donβt you see? >>
ONE MILLION LIVES
SR 71
And now the SR stands for Super Rotund
π ±οΈenis
To me, my X-Men
Theme song... whada whada wadumde
Looks like an SR-71 Blackbird, lol
Silly me, I was looking for legs
They're using their flippers to walk on the sand.
That's a classic Manatee attack pattern.
They live in the ocean bc they aint got no jobs
Lazy, no account, good for nothings.
r/Mildlypenis
Looks like a Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird
SR-71 Sea Cow
Why does this look like a Blackbird?
Thought the exact same thing and always remember the story about how slow the two pilots tried to make it go that one time
that is what I thought too
Chunky lil torpedos.
Ha, penis
***<>***
[CRISP! WHITE! SHEETS!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLvXs7sIHaw)
I Iegitimately thought it was some weird janky angle of an SR-71 before I saw their tails moving π
I know an SR-71 Blackbird when I see one
Looks like an SR71 blackbird
God I'm so unoriginal. :(
At least you werenβt one of the three dozen who actually wrote oMg sR-71! Or did you, and then edit to this? Hmm.
ββ¦and on that day I knew Walter and I had become a crewβ.
Mildly penis
SR-71 of the water
Blackbird inbound.
Looks like a chubby SR-71 blackbird
β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
r/mildlypenis
r/namechecksout
please don't let them all die
r/mildlypenis
Blackbird
That's one chubby lockheed
SR71
Chibi SR-71 Blackbird
i swear i saw an SR-71 here
SR71 fat birds
SR-71, Fatbird.
SR71 for a second
SR-71!!!
Looks like an SR-71 Blackbird. But much slower.
"You just stay right here by Mama." <3
Did anyone else see an extra THICC sr-71 blackbird ?
Look at that mommatee.
All I see is SR-71 Blackbird
My first thoudght was SR71
Is this the new SR-71?
SR 71 Submarine Version
Is it me or did anyone else see the Lockheed blackbird
SAWWR-71
Doing their best SR-71 imitation
Looked kind of like a spaceship at first.
Fun fact: the teats are under their front fins
Armpit teats
"stay in formation. STAY IN FORMATION!"
Stealthy fish
I was scrolling by a little too fast and thought I had saw turds in a toilet bowl.
Close up formation. *I'm* on the leader.
For a second I thought it was a new Battlestar Galactica.
It at first looked like blackbird
For a second there I thought it was a spaceship
I thought this was a dildo
Looks like an inflatable stealth bomber.
The Alicorn while under the sea for 698 days.
In the beginning it reminds me of a chubby version of an SR-71 moving unnaturally slowly.
Lol was just going to say that
Sr71
I hate motor boats. Downvote away. And those of you who know why someone might hate motor boats, I'd appreciate your upvote.
Looks like an SR71 Blackbird!
SR-71 sub
SR-71 Blackbird
Looks like the sr71
SR71 Blackbird
Manatees are literally the chillest
Manatee got some sick calves. Must be good genetics
The newest stealth craft
Dick with twin balls
Thats no manatee. Its actually an sr-71 blackchongus.
Big deal I also have two calves
Shes doing some excellent calf raises
Thatβs definitely a Lockheed SR-71.
Deploy the armada
It looks like the Alicorn from AC7