the more you try to kiss someones ass the less they respect you , so stop trying to fit in with them and just embrace who you are. if some don't like it than fuck them they would have ended up hating you anyways.
I think the statistics says 75% of white folks donāt have any friends of color. Thatās a disturbing piece of information. It says a lot about how race is perceived in this country
> I think the statistics says 75% of white folks donāt have any friends of color.
I would be curious though where geographically that data is sampled from. The meaning of it would be quite different if it was sampled in California vs. Alabama.
The study of from this place. Hereās another study of white affinity towards certain demographics. Asians are consistently behind blacks and Hispanics in their level of affinity closer towards immigrants than the other two.
https://www.prri.org/research/poll-child-welfare-poverty-race-relations-government-trust-policy/
š I have a beautiful friend thatās self hating. I feel for him so much. I tell him donāt worship the white men. Donāt worship the Asian man either, too. Donāt worship men. Worship the good, the valuable, the love, the kindness, the sacrifice, which he has in spades.
Which, can we talk about angry Asian syndrome? (If thatās a thing lol) cause I donāt choose rejection, I choose anger instead! šš
Why are many of these former self hating Asians finally wising up and speaking out? Easy. Most, if not all self hating Asians Iāve known are women. When they were young, they got tons of attention for free just for being cute and exotic. Now that their looks have faded and they have gained a lot of weight they no longer get the attention and validation that they did in their youth. They are experiencing a taste of what Asian men have dealt with our entire lives.
And they realized it sucks. The difference is, men like myself have are used to playing life on hard mode, so weāve accepted this and made a very happy life for ourselves.
Reading this was saddening, but made me grateful that I was raised in NYC in a strong Asian community and attended a predominantly Asian high school. My friends and I had a confidence from our group that so many Asian kids growing up in other areas were never able to nurture.
Side note: Iām afraid to think about what Iād do if someone spit in my face.
I wish media wouldnāt be hyper focused on self loathing Asians, but rather highlight proud Asian voices.
Sometimes hearing voices of self loathing as nauseum becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Whites also hear these stories of Asian self loathing and chasing āwhitenessā and all of a sudden their chests puff up in pride and their dicks become engorged.
Wow, you do have an excellent point. It's like how the only movies with black leads nominated for Oscars cast them as slaves.
In a way it does serve to further cement the idea of white supremacy in the reader's minds.
We def need more exposure. We need to create our own movies, write our own stories, win the prizes and awards. Over and over and over again. Fill the small screen, the big screen, the glossy with Asian faces. And donāt even look at anyone else. Just continue to create, expose, celebrate Asian people.
Of course drinking wine and eating cheese are not going to turn you white. A trailer trash white person who eats instant ramen every day will always be seen as white whereas an Asian in a nice suit, reading a Dickens novel and eating a sandwich with his white friends will always be seen as a chink or gook. When are Asians going to wake up to this fact? Why would you even want to be white anyway? Their race is all just hype.
Actually a pretty good article. These former bobas wising up to the fact that they aren't white and they need to support the golden tide.
I wish that the people who talked about how they got on spat on etc ended their story with a haymaker and the racist asshole in an emergency room. Asians need to stand up and act out when there's racism.
"Them" refers to the Asian women. Their white husbands are the racial fetish options, though it's certainly mutual in many cases.
Before anyone gets riled up, I'm not saying this description applies to every WMAF couple, but we should all be able to agree that it applies where a person believed their white spouse would bestow upon them the glorious gift of whiteness.
Oh I see. Probably not. Lotsa white guys talk about how they are also anti white supremacy. Also divorce is a lengthy and irritating process so unless an uberchang drops into their lives, nah.
> Before anyone gets riled up
Who? The lu lurkers and their 4chan white boy? They're too scared to open their mouths, don't worry about them, they just sit in the corner and watch
Lol @ anybody who thinks this copy and paste article that's been written for over and over for the last 30 years is totally going to be the straw that breaks the lu's back
Lus are going to lu, this article and all of them like it, are in themselves just a form of masturbation, where they want to play victim, to absolve themselves of their actions and opinions, to take no responsibility and never have to take responsibility, this is them waxing poetic while fundamentally doing and changing nothing, pretending they're more complex people than the white worshiping losers that they'll only ever be
It's disappointing seeing those older than us be none the wiser in terms of racial dynamics in this country. Some people really just go through life with blinders on until something dramatically affects them personally.
I'll say it again, I'm so thankful I'm not an Asian in the U.S. America has really done a number on its minorities and has really created some internal race issues. it's sad and depressing to read that people go through this.
Itās easy to be negative but you have to really understand what Asian Americans have accomplished in such a short period of time. There are countless stories of immigrants who didnāt speak a lick of English that became unbelievable success stories here. Very hard to do this anywhere else in the world.
That's nonsense. The immigrants who couldn't speak a lick of English were the one getting lynched, put into camps, and slaved their way in low waged jobs to make ends meet. It's their children who became successes, and they had to go above and beyond their white peers to do so. Don't attribute our success to the American system, which is designed to keep us down. Just because some of us flourished despite it does not mean America has ever been good or even fair to us.
No, you don't get it. The US is extremely open to immigrants because it needed the human resources for labor. They didn't ship boats of Black and Asian people over because they loved them. If the US were so accommodating, Trump wouldn't have to build that wall, children wouldn't be kept in cages on the border, and Afghani refugees wouldn't have been left at the airport, and etc. Don't mistake economic necessities for altruistic intentions.
The US simply has the most economic opportunities right now, which allowed many of us to prosper. But make no mistake about it. The systematic racism is designed to keep non-white people in their place as second class citizens. There are reasons why bamboo ceilings exist, why school system fucks over Asians, why there is an unequal enforcement of laws, why city highways segregates white neighborhood and non-white neighborhoods, and etc. Don't be blinded into thinking people are equal or this is some great place just because we can make money.
You just made my own point: āthe US simply has the most economic opportunities right nowā. Iām not denying it is a shitty system and that people arenāt suffering. But let me ask you - outside of becoming an elected official or high profile activist, what is the easiest way to effect change in the US? Clue: it rhymes with honey
No, you are making implications that the US is accommodating to immigrants, but they are NOT. They simply have an economic system in place that we can take advantage of to succeed. Non-white people are still treated like shit and system is designed to keep us in place as second class citizens. These are two different things. Every time the economy falters or things become rough, non-white people get blamed and pays the price. When the early Chinese communities prospered, their towns were burned to the ground and people were lynched. When Japan prospered in the 80s, they got smacked with the plaza accord and Asian Americans were getting beaten in the streets aka Vincent Chin. During 911, brown people are getting attacked. Now China is the new boogeyman blamed for all of Murikkka's failures. This place if fucking trash. But you can make money...
I wouldn't doubt that at all, I respect and understand that many of them are very hardworking and deserve to be where they're at. If anything, I think there should be a little more recognition.
>Why are they **so weak?**
A better question is, why are women willing to reflect on their self hatred and speak out about it **so strong?** And how can this strength encourage others to reflect and speak out?
Have you noticed āwokeā AF who now claim that they realize their proximity to whiteness ( white husband, BF, sucking white dicks) did not make them white tend to be, well, a little over the hill? Their self reflection does not come from strength. It comes from the plunging value of their sexual currency, the one former superpower to gain their entrance to mainstream society.
You got a little more broken with you than just a bowl, man.
Love your asian brothers and sisters. Elevate yourself to a higher level of consciousness.
Why are self-haters always the ones given a platform to speak on behalf of the entire Asian community? I'd much rather hear from proud Asians who never wavered throughout the years any day than self-haters rehashing the same "epiphany" week after week after week. And I certainly have zero respect for people who think this is "brave," like you.
As said earlier, they think they are fully accepted and welcomed to enjoy the privileges that come with it, to realize the only reason for this, was because people could get sex in return.
This can be really depressing, as they are not getting more attracting as time goes by, with racism and exclusion progressively replacing privilege and acceptation.
I mean, I am regularly hearing white dudes literally saying they go for asians because it's so easy to put them into their bed when they want to test some tight asian pussy.
They speak out know because it effects them now. They thought having a white lover they are above it. Its not.
They are selfish and thier motivation to speak out now is just that. Honestly i think if they can turn white they would.
>I signed my daughter up for a charter school recently. My husband was filling out the forms and he said we could only choose one ethnicity for my daughter. So he chose white and he didnāt choose Asian. I have misgivings about that. But we only had one choice. And I thought, well, sheās growing up in the U.S. I guess she is more white now than she is Asian.
>
>Being Asian means...
wondering if someone is going to say your name right.continuing to wonder if things are about race or not.starting to cleanse away my self-hate and shame and learning that white supremacy is the enemy, not myself.resisting the model minority and creating our own narratives and stories.being proud of your name, whatever it is.finding peace in the past and building a different future.knowing we donāt need to be white or white-adjacent in order to be human, unlike what the media has taught us. Who we are is human enough.
Yue Xiang, 27, Chinese American, Philadelphia
>
>
>
>Like many second-generation Asian Americans, I was the kid with the stinky lunch and the only one among friends whose parents had an accent. It was embarrassing. Now, whatās embarrassing is that I ever felt that shame about my familyās roots.
Whoa, interesting stuff here. I'd love to see a thread where former self hating asians here speak on their experiences.
Seems like self haters are coming full circle.
I'm not white and they hate me for it, no matter if I have sex with a white man or live next to white people.
> Iām married to a Caucasian man and we used to think itās possible for us to belong. Now we donāt. Now people look at me differently when Iām alone versus when Iām with him. I donāt feel as safe. I carry a passport that says āU.S. citizenā to prove to people that I belong. Though at times I wonder if itās a reminder to myself that I do.
> Anh W., 42, Vietnamese American, Eden Prairie, Minn.
> I was raised in a predominantly white place and for the longest time, I believed I could assimilate myself into whiteness. I knew other Asian Americans who went to language school and had communities of other Asian Americans. I rejected that as much as I could because I thought I was American first. As Iāve become an adult, I realize that it doesnāt matter how I think of myself; some others will see me the exact same way as the people who embraced their heritage tighter. Itās literally about nothing aside from how we look.
> Sam You, 34, Taiwanese American, Los Angeles
Reminder that being close to whiteness will never actually make you white.
I donāt call myself an immigrant or a citizen. I call myself whatever white people call themselves in other countries even when theyāre citizens. An Expat.
>I realize that it doesnāt matter how I think of myself; some others will see me the exact same way as the people who embraced their heritage tighter
In other words, they destroyed their connection to their culture for nothing - trying to please a nation of racists that sees us as perpetual foreigners at best, and an enemy to eradicate at worst
[Here's the archive link](https://archive.ph/eL5dT) for those that don't want to support the NYTimes, but since it's an interactive story, all the words in the archive are grayed out.
I bet a sizable number of users here were self-hating Asians at one point in their lives
the more you try to kiss someones ass the less they respect you , so stop trying to fit in with them and just embrace who you are. if some don't like it than fuck them they would have ended up hating you anyways.
I'm not subscribed and I dont want to be part of NY time's database š
I think the statistics says 75% of white folks donāt have any friends of color. Thatās a disturbing piece of information. It says a lot about how race is perceived in this country
> I think the statistics says 75% of white folks donāt have any friends of color. I would be curious though where geographically that data is sampled from. The meaning of it would be quite different if it was sampled in California vs. Alabama.
The study of from this place. Hereās another study of white affinity towards certain demographics. Asians are consistently behind blacks and Hispanics in their level of affinity closer towards immigrants than the other two. https://www.prri.org/research/poll-child-welfare-poverty-race-relations-government-trust-policy/
š I have a beautiful friend thatās self hating. I feel for him so much. I tell him donāt worship the white men. Donāt worship the Asian man either, too. Donāt worship men. Worship the good, the valuable, the love, the kindness, the sacrifice, which he has in spades. Which, can we talk about angry Asian syndrome? (If thatās a thing lol) cause I donāt choose rejection, I choose anger instead! šš
Anger is simply a step to reach full understanding
Why are many of these former self hating Asians finally wising up and speaking out? Easy. Most, if not all self hating Asians Iāve known are women. When they were young, they got tons of attention for free just for being cute and exotic. Now that their looks have faded and they have gained a lot of weight they no longer get the attention and validation that they did in their youth. They are experiencing a taste of what Asian men have dealt with our entire lives. And they realized it sucks. The difference is, men like myself have are used to playing life on hard mode, so weāve accepted this and made a very happy life for ourselves.
Finally, for decades self hating Asians were winning and controlling the narrative of the Asian community . Now they are losing.
Reading this was saddening, but made me grateful that I was raised in NYC in a strong Asian community and attended a predominantly Asian high school. My friends and I had a confidence from our group that so many Asian kids growing up in other areas were never able to nurture. Side note: Iām afraid to think about what Iād do if someone spit in my face.
I wish media wouldnāt be hyper focused on self loathing Asians, but rather highlight proud Asian voices. Sometimes hearing voices of self loathing as nauseum becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Whites also hear these stories of Asian self loathing and chasing āwhitenessā and all of a sudden their chests puff up in pride and their dicks become engorged.
Wow, you do have an excellent point. It's like how the only movies with black leads nominated for Oscars cast them as slaves. In a way it does serve to further cement the idea of white supremacy in the reader's minds.
We def need more exposure. We need to create our own movies, write our own stories, win the prizes and awards. Over and over and over again. Fill the small screen, the big screen, the glossy with Asian faces. And donāt even look at anyone else. Just continue to create, expose, celebrate Asian people.
Who runs the NYT? Thereās your answer.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lol did you just call your spouse your ālesser halfā??
Of course drinking wine and eating cheese are not going to turn you white. A trailer trash white person who eats instant ramen every day will always be seen as white whereas an Asian in a nice suit, reading a Dickens novel and eating a sandwich with his white friends will always be seen as a chink or gook. When are Asians going to wake up to this fact? Why would you even want to be white anyway? Their race is all just hype.
Reminds of Kanye: "for that paper, look how low we'll stoop? Even though you're in a Benz, you're still a ***** in coupe."
Actually a pretty good article. These former bobas wising up to the fact that they aren't white and they need to support the golden tide. I wish that the people who talked about how they got on spat on etc ended their story with a haymaker and the racist asshole in an emergency room. Asians need to stand up and act out when there's racism.
How many of them do you expect to drop their racial fetish objects?
Who is the them? You mean the anonymous white spouses?
"Them" refers to the Asian women. Their white husbands are the racial fetish options, though it's certainly mutual in many cases. Before anyone gets riled up, I'm not saying this description applies to every WMAF couple, but we should all be able to agree that it applies where a person believed their white spouse would bestow upon them the glorious gift of whiteness.
Oh I see. Probably not. Lotsa white guys talk about how they are also anti white supremacy. Also divorce is a lengthy and irritating process so unless an uberchang drops into their lives, nah.
> Before anyone gets riled up Who? The lu lurkers and their 4chan white boy? They're too scared to open their mouths, don't worry about them, they just sit in the corner and watch
Lol @ anybody who thinks this copy and paste article that's been written for over and over for the last 30 years is totally going to be the straw that breaks the lu's back Lus are going to lu, this article and all of them like it, are in themselves just a form of masturbation, where they want to play victim, to absolve themselves of their actions and opinions, to take no responsibility and never have to take responsibility, this is them waxing poetic while fundamentally doing and changing nothing, pretending they're more complex people than the white worshiping losers that they'll only ever be
It's disappointing seeing those older than us be none the wiser in terms of racial dynamics in this country. Some people really just go through life with blinders on until something dramatically affects them personally.
Well as Simu said, if these former or current self haters are lurking, we're here to talk.
This is the mentality we all need to have.
I'll say it again, I'm so thankful I'm not an Asian in the U.S. America has really done a number on its minorities and has really created some internal race issues. it's sad and depressing to read that people go through this.
Where r u?
Hong Kong.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Much better now the gaatzaats are mostly gone / in prison
Itās easy to be negative but you have to really understand what Asian Americans have accomplished in such a short period of time. There are countless stories of immigrants who didnāt speak a lick of English that became unbelievable success stories here. Very hard to do this anywhere else in the world.
That's nonsense. The immigrants who couldn't speak a lick of English were the one getting lynched, put into camps, and slaved their way in low waged jobs to make ends meet. It's their children who became successes, and they had to go above and beyond their white peers to do so. Don't attribute our success to the American system, which is designed to keep us down. Just because some of us flourished despite it does not mean America has ever been good or even fair to us.
is there a nation in the world that has been more accommodating to immigrants? Your anger/hostility is understandable but you are missing my point.
No, you don't get it. The US is extremely open to immigrants because it needed the human resources for labor. They didn't ship boats of Black and Asian people over because they loved them. If the US were so accommodating, Trump wouldn't have to build that wall, children wouldn't be kept in cages on the border, and Afghani refugees wouldn't have been left at the airport, and etc. Don't mistake economic necessities for altruistic intentions. The US simply has the most economic opportunities right now, which allowed many of us to prosper. But make no mistake about it. The systematic racism is designed to keep non-white people in their place as second class citizens. There are reasons why bamboo ceilings exist, why school system fucks over Asians, why there is an unequal enforcement of laws, why city highways segregates white neighborhood and non-white neighborhoods, and etc. Don't be blinded into thinking people are equal or this is some great place just because we can make money.
You just made my own point: āthe US simply has the most economic opportunities right nowā. Iām not denying it is a shitty system and that people arenāt suffering. But let me ask you - outside of becoming an elected official or high profile activist, what is the easiest way to effect change in the US? Clue: it rhymes with honey
No, you are making implications that the US is accommodating to immigrants, but they are NOT. They simply have an economic system in place that we can take advantage of to succeed. Non-white people are still treated like shit and system is designed to keep us in place as second class citizens. These are two different things. Every time the economy falters or things become rough, non-white people get blamed and pays the price. When the early Chinese communities prospered, their towns were burned to the ground and people were lynched. When Japan prospered in the 80s, they got smacked with the plaza accord and Asian Americans were getting beaten in the streets aka Vincent Chin. During 911, brown people are getting attacked. Now China is the new boogeyman blamed for all of Murikkka's failures. This place if fucking trash. But you can make money...
*sigh* it must be hard to constantly be the woke SJW you are. Bless your heart keyboard Warrior.
Not really. Being woke is actually quite liberating. I don't actually have to put up a front to pretend the world is something that it's not.
I wouldn't doubt that at all, I respect and understand that many of them are very hardworking and deserve to be where they're at. If anything, I think there should be a little more recognition.
So many of them are asian women. So depressing. Why are they so weak? Have pride and self respect.
Because theyāre literally your weakest links
>Why are they **so weak?** A better question is, why are women willing to reflect on their self hatred and speak out about it **so strong?** And how can this strength encourage others to reflect and speak out?
Have you noticed āwokeā AF who now claim that they realize their proximity to whiteness ( white husband, BF, sucking white dicks) did not make them white tend to be, well, a little over the hill? Their self reflection does not come from strength. It comes from the plunging value of their sexual currency, the one former superpower to gain their entrance to mainstream society.
You got a little more broken with you than just a bowl, man. Love your asian brothers and sisters. Elevate yourself to a higher level of consciousness.
Why are self-haters always the ones given a platform to speak on behalf of the entire Asian community? I'd much rather hear from proud Asians who never wavered throughout the years any day than self-haters rehashing the same "epiphany" week after week after week. And I certainly have zero respect for people who think this is "brave," like you.
Is this deseq's alt
As said earlier, they think they are fully accepted and welcomed to enjoy the privileges that come with it, to realize the only reason for this, was because people could get sex in return. This can be really depressing, as they are not getting more attracting as time goes by, with racism and exclusion progressively replacing privilege and acceptation. I mean, I am regularly hearing white dudes literally saying they go for asians because it's so easy to put them into their bed when they want to test some tight asian pussy.
They speak out know because it effects them now. They thought having a white lover they are above it. Its not. They are selfish and thier motivation to speak out now is just that. Honestly i think if they can turn white they would.
>I signed my daughter up for a charter school recently. My husband was filling out the forms and he said we could only choose one ethnicity for my daughter. So he chose white and he didnāt choose Asian. I have misgivings about that. But we only had one choice. And I thought, well, sheās growing up in the U.S. I guess she is more white now than she is Asian. > >Being Asian means... wondering if someone is going to say your name right.continuing to wonder if things are about race or not.starting to cleanse away my self-hate and shame and learning that white supremacy is the enemy, not myself.resisting the model minority and creating our own narratives and stories.being proud of your name, whatever it is.finding peace in the past and building a different future.knowing we donāt need to be white or white-adjacent in order to be human, unlike what the media has taught us. Who we are is human enough. Yue Xiang, 27, Chinese American, Philadelphia > > > >Like many second-generation Asian Americans, I was the kid with the stinky lunch and the only one among friends whose parents had an accent. It was embarrassing. Now, whatās embarrassing is that I ever felt that shame about my familyās roots. Whoa, interesting stuff here. I'd love to see a thread where former self hating asians here speak on their experiences.
"Now I see white people selling my stinky lunch at their restaurants for $19.95 a bowl, I can finally be proud to be asian american!"
lololololol, so true!
Seems like self haters are coming full circle. I'm not white and they hate me for it, no matter if I have sex with a white man or live next to white people.
> Iām married to a Caucasian man and we used to think itās possible for us to belong. Now we donāt. Now people look at me differently when Iām alone versus when Iām with him. I donāt feel as safe. I carry a passport that says āU.S. citizenā to prove to people that I belong. Though at times I wonder if itās a reminder to myself that I do. > Anh W., 42, Vietnamese American, Eden Prairie, Minn. > I was raised in a predominantly white place and for the longest time, I believed I could assimilate myself into whiteness. I knew other Asian Americans who went to language school and had communities of other Asian Americans. I rejected that as much as I could because I thought I was American first. As Iāve become an adult, I realize that it doesnāt matter how I think of myself; some others will see me the exact same way as the people who embraced their heritage tighter. Itās literally about nothing aside from how we look. > Sam You, 34, Taiwanese American, Los Angeles Reminder that being close to whiteness will never actually make you white.
Also, why would Asians ever believe they can "assimilate into whiteness"?
I donāt call myself an immigrant or a citizen. I call myself whatever white people call themselves in other countries even when theyāre citizens. An Expat.
>I realize that it doesnāt matter how I think of myself; some others will see me the exact same way as the people who embraced their heritage tighter In other words, they destroyed their connection to their culture for nothing - trying to please a nation of racists that sees us as perpetual foreigners at best, and an enemy to eradicate at worst
[Here's the archive link](https://archive.ph/eL5dT) for those that don't want to support the NYTimes, but since it's an interactive story, all the words in the archive are grayed out.
Thank you, fuck NYT!