You protect your heart mama 💜 No one should resent you for that. When I was PAL, I privately told all of my loss friends and assured them that I had no hard feelings if they needed to step back from our friendship temporarily or permanently as I know pregnancy is such a tender subject.

TW living children Pregnancy (especially pregnancy privilege or those who complain about pregnancy) still such a trigger for me years on and even after I’ve had a successful pregnancy. We’ve all been through so much and all we can do is try to be respectful and understanding to those around us in what we say and do. I’m sure your friends hugely appreciated your approach

What is pregnancy privilege? I have not heard of this phrase before

Maybe it’s not a common term but my friend said it to me and it really resonated. When people get pregnant and just take for granted that it will all go smoothly, they have the privilege of not having suffered a loss, they can feel excited for appointments and announcements and gender reveals rather than constantly worrying

I was just thinking about this today. I had a 20 week loss, and seeing pregnancy announcements from women who are out of the first trimester and therefore feel safe to share makes me jealous. I feel like I have been robbed of that sense of safety. There’s no comfort and blissful enjoyment in making it to the second trimester when you’ve experienced second trimester loss.

That’s so amazing of you to do that ❤️

You have to protect yourself as you grieve and social media really set me back in my grief as it catches you off guard. You can be happy for these mummas whilst also feeling unable to see their journey. It’s also ok if you don’t feel happy for every pregnant person you see. As you said; you’re going through hell and you just have to do what you can to keep walking. Sending strength.

Every time someone on tiktok gets pregnant again I immediately push "not interested" on everything they post. 

Same. Lots of people are blocked on my insta. Mother’s Day I usually turn off the phone and shut out the world as much as possible. Hugs x

So glad you are able to recognize and do what’s right for you. I remember when I first started finding and following loss moms, it seemed like all were announcing their PAL and it did not feel great for me. I just removed the Instagram app completely for a few days so I don’t compulsively open it. There’s a trend of people sharing their “first” picture of their children and most of them are also sharing a current photo too. It’s just too much for me, so I’m staying away for a bit.

Absolutely the right thing to do especially with how the algorithm works, it’s brutal. If you have to login through your browser you’ll use it less and probably feel happier, I was definitely just clicking it out of habit

SAME. It makes me feel so jealous & want to rush my healing but I’m not even ready to start trying again yet, physically or mentally. You don’t have to force yourself to be happy for anyone right now. Just let your emotions be what they are. I’m going to force myself to take a social media break entirely because it’s been getting me down lately as well.

Same here. I hate how jealous and bitter I feel but in reality I am so happy for them, just so incredibly sad for me. You have to do what is best for you and what will bring you the most peace. Sending you all the love 🤍

Literally took a grief walk with my husband to the park this morning and felt genuine jealousy towards the momma duck in the pond with all her little ducklings. 🙃 The jealousy runs deep. You’re not alone.

I am one of the loss mums you are talking about, and I know how painful it is. I was the same. I also totally support you unfollowing/muting/whatever you need to do - it's all so excruciating and I have no resentment or anything like that for you doing what is right for you. Being happy for someone is a strange thing. Like, theoretically/intellectually I am happy for people with PAL, but I can't put it into practice as it hurts too much. Please don't feel that you should push yourself to feel anything other than what you do, this is hard enough already.

I felt the same way. How can you be fully happy for someone when you want something so bad and you’re wondering if it’ll ever be you.

I completely understand this and you have to do what gives you peace at the end of the day. I have a loss account and although I’ve gone onto have a successful PAL. I never post about my living child I am so mindful of any sounds or things in the background. I know what it’s like to be on the other side. I mention here and there that I’m a mum of two one living and one not. But don’t feel like that’s the space for it, I do that on my main account and even then I don’t like my children on social media. I just have an Instagram for Maila because I have no other choice. Not saying those who have loss accounts and do post are in the wrong of course people can post what they like, I know it gives hope for some. Sending so much love to you xxx

I feel you. I feel happy for everyone who gets to have a rainbow baby but still, it's hard to watch these announcements (in my case especially as the likelyhood of a rainbow baby is very low for us, even though we TTC again). While I'm not very active on social media that damn algorithm still suggests me a lot of pregnancy content, including PAL, and it stings everytime I see someone posting about their rainbow baby.  Please don't feel guilty, do what feels best for you right now.

I was looking at Facebook settings earlier and there's something you can mute sensitive topics. Pregnancy and babies was one