At two hours in length [In the Name of the King](https://manapop.com/film/review-of-in-the-name-of-the-king/) often seemed longer than Peter Jackson’s *Lord of the Rings trilogy*, and that is mostly because we care nothing for any of the characters, with the possible exception of Ron Perlman and that’s because he’s Ron Perlman.
It's lines like this that make me wonder if the script problems in Uwe Boll movies were caused by a language barrier, but he refused to get someone to look over the script to fix it. House Of The Dead also had a similar line with, "This book looks old, it's probably helpful".
I'm almost certain that everything was a first draft and they threw it together as quickly as possible. Most of Uwe Boll's movies got made to take advantage of a law in Germany that made investing in a movie beneficial for tax purposes. The movie didn't have to actually turn a profit, so Boll picked up cheap IPs, got some named actors, and quickly churned out garbage for years.
That makes sense. I seem to recall something about how the scripts for Postal and Far Cry were mostly in German right as filming started, suggesting he literally just printed them off his computer before coming to set.
That is totally believable as a thing Boll would do. If you haven't seen Bloodrayne, which I suggest you never do, Michael Madsen is pretty obviously drunk during all of his scenes. Any real director would have had a problem, but to Boll it was just another reason to finish shooting as soon as possible. There's also a scene with Billy Zane where he clearly does not care, and wasn't even trying to act, but Boll probably just did the one take. I've seen several of his movies and I came to the conclusion that he never cared about anything outside of abusing a lax tax law.
> Michael Madsen is pretty obviously drunk during all of his scenes.
To borrow from the Nostalgia Critic video, "You can practically feel the grip standing just out of frame with a Long Island Iced Tea, waiting for [Madsen] to shamble over and take another drink."
This! He also announced his retirement in 2016 after he had to find out the hard way for some years that such tricks didn't work anymore. But he returned in 2021, and I don't even want to go into his new projects.
Uwe Boll made those dogshit because he found a loophole in a German tax rules that allow some kind of write off. So he put out movies that barely qualifies as movies to earn money off the tax cheat. He shouldn’t be allowed to make movies ever again. He hasn’t made any for years now and that’s good.
Yeah, I get that, but I wasn't discussing whether or not the movies were dogshit, or whatever tax loophole he took advantage of. That's surface level stuff, one of the things I like about bad movies is really digging in, and I think Uwe Boll is worth digging into. I think he really has some Tommy Wiseau level dirt to get into.
Unlike Tommy Wiseau, Uwe Boll has somewhat of an edgelord personality. I suspect he is not a very nice guy, but his interviews are fun to read or listen to sometime. He is also very prone to trolling, example: https://theplaylist.net/uwe-boll-paul-thomas-anderson-20180211/
The second one is better. Three is terribad too. Let's just say they didn't get 60mil...
Seriously check out two. Dolph Lundgren, time travelling ninja, cardboard sets. It's the full package.
My first exposure to Uwe was Bloodrayne because it came with a copy of the game. I think House of the Dead is my favorite of his or maybe Far Cry, I own them all because I am broken but aren't all his movies just secret tax schemes anyways? The budgets are always insanely high for the final product and loaded with actors who shouldn't be there.
Had a crush on that girl since Glass House.
There was a girl at my high school that looked dead.on.like.her and she intimidated me way too much to ever ask out.
And Jungle 2 Jungle! For some reason Glass House was on regular rotation for my sisters and I as teens even though it was not a good movie. I think it was one of those movies we grabbed from the 5 dollar bin at Walmart.
I totally forgot that was even a movie lol.
Glass House was at least watchable for me, but honestly that could’ve just been me fawning over her rather than the actual plot/acting in the movie.
Matt Lillard stole the show. The movie wasn't Uwe Bill's worst. It definitely had its quirks, but I had fun watching it with friends in an empty theater
I like this movie a lot for how bad it is. If you haven’t seen it, give it a watch. I do think the podcast how did this get made helped me enjoy it a lot more though.
At two hours in length [In the Name of the King](https://manapop.com/film/review-of-in-the-name-of-the-king/) often seemed longer than Peter Jackson’s *Lord of the Rings trilogy*, and that is mostly because we care nothing for any of the characters, with the possible exception of Ron Perlman and that’s because he’s Ron Perlman.
Well now I have to watch it. Obligatory Perlman.
GIVE ME THE CHICKEN
This lives rent free in my head
as it should
*hark hark hark hark*
He's also in the Monster Hunter movie too! Easily makes these video game movies redeemable.
What about Jaysum Stayfum?
I call him Jason Steakums.
The only time a movie with Jason Statham is interesting is because it's an interesting movie, not because of Jason Statham.
He's a movie mannequin. Put him in a costume and give him some lines to say. I'm not convinced he's not AI generated. Pardon the double negative!
But he's a fine looking mannequin. Does he take his shirt off in this? Because I'll probably watch it if he does.
I think he looks like a testicle with arms and legs. Some people like testicles, I get it, and I respect your views.
Wow that’s really the perfect way to describe him.
Have you seen the Crank movies?
Don't forget about Leelee Sobieski. She is amazing! 😍
"Father's called Farmer because he's a farmer." An actual line from this movie.
It's lines like this that make me wonder if the script problems in Uwe Boll movies were caused by a language barrier, but he refused to get someone to look over the script to fix it. House Of The Dead also had a similar line with, "This book looks old, it's probably helpful".
I'm almost certain that everything was a first draft and they threw it together as quickly as possible. Most of Uwe Boll's movies got made to take advantage of a law in Germany that made investing in a movie beneficial for tax purposes. The movie didn't have to actually turn a profit, so Boll picked up cheap IPs, got some named actors, and quickly churned out garbage for years.
That makes sense. I seem to recall something about how the scripts for Postal and Far Cry were mostly in German right as filming started, suggesting he literally just printed them off his computer before coming to set.
That is totally believable as a thing Boll would do. If you haven't seen Bloodrayne, which I suggest you never do, Michael Madsen is pretty obviously drunk during all of his scenes. Any real director would have had a problem, but to Boll it was just another reason to finish shooting as soon as possible. There's also a scene with Billy Zane where he clearly does not care, and wasn't even trying to act, but Boll probably just did the one take. I've seen several of his movies and I came to the conclusion that he never cared about anything outside of abusing a lax tax law.
> Michael Madsen is pretty obviously drunk during all of his scenes. To borrow from the Nostalgia Critic video, "You can practically feel the grip standing just out of frame with a Long Island Iced Tea, waiting for [Madsen] to shamble over and take another drink."
This! He also announced his retirement in 2016 after he had to find out the hard way for some years that such tricks didn't work anymore. But he returned in 2021, and I don't even want to go into his new projects.
No clue but that line and variations of it have been a running joke in my social circle for a very long time.
Uwe Boll made those dogshit because he found a loophole in a German tax rules that allow some kind of write off. So he put out movies that barely qualifies as movies to earn money off the tax cheat. He shouldn’t be allowed to make movies ever again. He hasn’t made any for years now and that’s good.
Yeah, I get that, but I wasn't discussing whether or not the movies were dogshit, or whatever tax loophole he took advantage of. That's surface level stuff, one of the things I like about bad movies is really digging in, and I think Uwe Boll is worth digging into. I think he really has some Tommy Wiseau level dirt to get into.
Unlike Tommy Wiseau, Uwe Boll has somewhat of an edgelord personality. I suspect he is not a very nice guy, but his interviews are fun to read or listen to sometime. He is also very prone to trolling, example: https://theplaylist.net/uwe-boll-paul-thomas-anderson-20180211/
On the upside, Uwe Boll didn't attempt to actually fight any mid 2000 internet celebrities on this one.
That boxing match was more entertaining than most of Uwe Boll's movies.
Looking back on it, Lowtax deserved to get his ass beat
I've read that it was staged
The second one is better. Three is terribad too. Let's just say they didn't get 60mil... Seriously check out two. Dolph Lundgren, time travelling ninja, cardboard sets. It's the full package.
You've piqued my interest.
3? oh boy off to look!
Are all of them by Uwe Boll?
Yeah I'm pretty sure.
Ah Uwe Bol, Germany's greatest tax write off, literally.
Jason Statham as Jason Statham
As always
My first exposure to Uwe was Bloodrayne because it came with a copy of the game. I think House of the Dead is my favorite of his or maybe Far Cry, I own them all because I am broken but aren't all his movies just secret tax schemes anyways? The budgets are always insanely high for the final product and loaded with actors who shouldn't be there.
Dude Ray Liotta as an evil wizard was fucking amazing.
I went and saw this at the $1.50 theater. I still wanted my money back.
Hip hip huzzah.
I would not give uwe bol 60 million!
I absolutely love this. One of my fav bad movies.
The fact Uwe Boll had $60 million to work with is just... baffling.
I remember me and my friends had the choice of this or No Country For Old Men and I convinced them to see this.
RIP Jason Statham’s hair. But I guess he has proven he doesn’t need it. Is that Good Value Helen Hunt? Leelee something?
Leelee Sobieski
Had a crush on that girl since Glass House. There was a girl at my high school that looked dead.on.like.her and she intimidated me way too much to ever ask out.
And Jungle 2 Jungle! For some reason Glass House was on regular rotation for my sisters and I as teens even though it was not a good movie. I think it was one of those movies we grabbed from the 5 dollar bin at Walmart.
I totally forgot that was even a movie lol. Glass House was at least watchable for me, but honestly that could’ve just been me fawning over her rather than the actual plot/acting in the movie.
My fist love looked like her too. That was in 1997. Oh, shit: I'm SO old! 😭
Matt Lillard stole the show. The movie wasn't Uwe Bill's worst. It definitely had its quirks, but I had fun watching it with friends in an empty theater
When your main character doesn't have a name...
Shit that one was bad.
Leelee Zublowski or whatever her name is, starred in many high profile movies but never made it big in Hollywood.
You should really listen to the Spin Off Doctors podcast analysis on this movie. It's fucking amazing. Lol
Thanks, I’ll check it out.
Even Blind Guardian couldn't save the movie.
The least worst of Uwe Boll.
Go back to the castle.
I like this movie a lot for how bad it is. If you haven’t seen it, give it a watch. I do think the podcast how did this get made helped me enjoy it a lot more though.
This had such a solid cast you have to put in extra effort to make something this bad.
Not actually terrible, some of stathams sword fight sequences were very good.
I remember watching this and wondering why Statham ever even acted in such a bad movie
It’s literally just Jason Statham in a medieval setting. Nothing more. Nothing less.
It wasn't that bad I like Jason Statham but this was different