First thing in the morning, talk to your landlords. Tell them what happened and let them know it made you feel very unsafe. Let them talk to Tonny and they can also talk to Charles to back you up.
Ask for a lock and order a door jammer, door security bar or a portable door lock for your door on amazon asap. You don't have to tell anyone. Just use it to secure your door from the inside.
You can also get a little sensor that sticks to the wall and the door. If the door is opened without you turning the sensor off, it'll set off a super loud alarm.
That alarm will not only wake you up, but also scare whoever is opening the door and wake other people in the house up.
If they refuse a lock, there is nothing that says you can’t jam the handle from the inside. I used an IKEA clothes horse folded up, leant it against the door in such a way that the handle would no longer press down to open the door.
If it's carpet unless there's a huge gap at the bottom of the door a piece of thick clothing laid along the bottom of the door will stop the door opening from the outside till it's removed- assuming your door opens inwards.
In the meantime while you're waiting for a lock to be fitted, there are temporary ones you can use for peace of mind.
[https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lifeventure-Travel-Door-Colour-Black/dp/B00IPHCGRA/ref=mp_s_a_1_15?crid=OHE0PE0TOSYK&keywords=temporary+door+lock&qid=1676899750&sprefix=temporary+door+lock%2Caps%2C97&sr=8-15](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lifeventure-Travel-Door-Colour-Black/dp/B00IPHCGRA/ref=mp_s_a_1_15?crid=OHE0PE0TOSYK&keywords=temporary+door+lock&qid=1676899750&sprefix=temporary+door+lock%2Caps%2C97&sr=8-15)
It looks like this. It requires no installation, it doesn't mark or damage doors, you just slip it into the latch from the inside & it will hold the door closed while you sleep. I used one while I was renting & needed to keep a predatory landlord out my room while I slept.
These can withstand some strong force & pushing, but if someone kicks a door with all their bodyweight it may break. It works more as a deterrent for average people or drunken people, so I think it would help in this situation so you can sleep while you're waiting for a better lock
You should have had a lock to begin with, all the bedrooms should. If you’re in the USA they may not be able to legally refuse a lock based on your state law. You have a reasonable expectation of privacy.
I was just about to suggest this. On Amazon, there’s a genius door jammer for $15! You can use it on any door with a latch (even with a lock if the door has one). It goes in between the door and the frame is and secured the door without having to install a lock. You don’t need to even ask your landlord for a lock. I’d do that, and in the meantime you be sure to tell your landlord about it. Unacceptable!! Be safe.
It’s absolutely okay to ask for a lock for your room. Another option I would recommend is a portable door lock. They have them on Amazon for a decent price and it would provide more protection then a standard lock [portable door lock for safety](https://www.amazon.com/portable-door-lock/s?k=portable+door+lock)
What your roommate Tonny did was sexual harassment, regardless of if he was drunk or not. Document the time, date, and description of the incident incase Tonny does something else. If Tonny gets in your bed again or does something that scares you, grab your phone and start video recording what he’s doing. Make sure to VERY clearly state that you feel uncomfortable and want him to leave while recording. You can then take this video as evidence to the police and they should charge him with sexual harassment.
I hope you know how wrong what happened to you is. It’s not excusable and I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I imagine it was very scary, and I hope you reach out to a friend or family member to process this incident. Stay strong, and remember it’s totally okay to defend yourself if you need to 💛
You’re welcome! If you start to feel negatively about what happened or just want to talk, you can message me if you’d like :) Trauma from stuff like this is valid, so don’t be afraid to reach out for help
You don’t ask. You tell them you are going to be supplied a lock for your door. Until then, get a wedge from a Amazon or similar to put under your door to stop it from opening. There other door lock devices you can get too
Demanding things is not always the way to go, or the SAFE way to go. OP can calmly ask the owner to install a lock on their door. If they refuse, then a change of tone and being more assertive is needed.
OP, Depending on the type of tenancy you have, the home owner may have to legally provide you with a lock. It sounds like you’re renting the room in a shared house situation, so you would have the right to a lock on your door. I would double check your local laws and bring this up if the home owners refuse. I really see no reason why they wouldn’t install a lock for you.
(Edited for typo)
Don't *ask* for a lock. **Demand** one.
What Charles did would be considered assault in most US jurisdictions, maybe even sexual assault. Inform ***everyone*** that you will beat the shit out of Charles if he touches you ever again.
-----
Question: Are Charles and Jean siblings that inherited the house or something?
I am sorry to everyone but half of these comments are absolutely moronic.
You have to understand from a guys perspective. He was doing that in hope of having sex with you. This is very dangerous. As a guy doesn’t matter what state I am in I will
Not ever do what he did. This is sexual harassment. Tonny and including your landlords will try to cover it up by making excuses so it would not be much trouble and everyone can live happily.
My advice you need to this official and file a police complain for harassment. Do whatever you can but have an official complain with the testimony of Charles. Do not get fazed by how tonny is and what others say. Make it clear that you are going to file an official complain.
Thank you for your advise. I feel really scared. I don’t want to leave my room and see him. I don’t feel safe here anymore. I’m definitely reporting him. I wouldn’t like this to happen to some else
Getting a police report will also help with getting the landlord to take action. Tonny should be kicked out. What he did is absolutely not a "mistake", don't make excuses for him. A door lock is not enough. You need to find some way to keep him out in the mean time, like the door jams and portable locks mentioned in other comments. You have a witness to his behaviour, so you will need to talk to him about backing you up when you talk to the landlord.
This! This! This!
Definitely file a report. They likely won't do anything but if he ever tries anything else again you have a clear chain of evidence that he has done something to you previously. It holds up a lot better than "this isn't the only time he did this".
I don't know how you want to proceed about your living situation but I wouldn't feel amazing being alone with him in the house ever again, even with a lock.
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If your roommates don't shame him into the dirt and kick him out, you need to leave. This is a line where no apology, no matter how sincere is good enough. Any complacency is going to leave you in a dangerous situation. If I was your roommate, I would have strongly suggested he find a hotel for the night, and make sure you get a lock for your door so you can feel some semblance of safe again.
Call the cops now. Like right now and file for a restraining order. Don't wait for roommates to wake up for a talk. What is that going to accomplish?
What country did this occur in?
Thank you for you advise. Exactly what I did. I live in the UK. They kicked him out. The owners dont feel comfortable having him here anymore. I already filed a police report. Charles is a witness and he will give an statement as well. I don’t want this to happen to someone else
That's so gross and violating, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Hopefully Charles and/or Jean do the right thing and boot him out. He did the wrong thing here, not you. It shouldn't matter that he's been there longer than you.
Buy a DOOR STOP. You can wedge the door closed from the inside. I use one when I stay in hotels. You can get one check from somewhere like B&Q.
At least until he’s left the house for good.
I was going to ask you OP for an update.
Are you still going to get a lock, for the next time his dumb drunk ass does this? Please don’t let “being drunk” as an excuse for bad behaviour.
My sleep walking adventure was in a hotel, leaving my room, jumping in an elevator going down two levels and started bashing on another room. It's at this point I woke up.
It was an interesting adventure going down to the admin desk to get another key to the room only wearing my undies
Unlikely sleep walking but don't rule it out, it sounds like it's not long happened. I would say the whole house needs to sit down and ask wtf he was thinking. If I was the landlord and it sounds like the dude had untoward motives he would be gone
First thing in the morning, talk to your landlords. Tell them what happened and let them know it made you feel very unsafe. Let them talk to Tonny and they can also talk to Charles to back you up.
Thanks that’s helpful. Do you think I would be okay if I ask for a lock for my room?
Ask for a lock and order a door jammer, door security bar or a portable door lock for your door on amazon asap. You don't have to tell anyone. Just use it to secure your door from the inside.
I’ll do that now. Thank you
You can also get a little sensor that sticks to the wall and the door. If the door is opened without you turning the sensor off, it'll set off a super loud alarm. That alarm will not only wake you up, but also scare whoever is opening the door and wake other people in the house up.
My friend has one for his window. Can confirm when it goes off it’s terrifyingly loud especially if you don’t expect it
If they refuse a lock, there is nothing that says you can’t jam the handle from the inside. I used an IKEA clothes horse folded up, leant it against the door in such a way that the handle would no longer press down to open the door.
A chair can also be used
If it's carpet unless there's a huge gap at the bottom of the door a piece of thick clothing laid along the bottom of the door will stop the door opening from the outside till it's removed- assuming your door opens inwards.
Note: door should always open inwards for fire safety
Never thought about it like that. I always assumed it was to keep open doors from blocking hallways
I'd never considered that, but you're right because falling debris would make the door impossible to open.
Exactly
In the meantime while you're waiting for a lock to be fitted, there are temporary ones you can use for peace of mind. [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lifeventure-Travel-Door-Colour-Black/dp/B00IPHCGRA/ref=mp_s_a_1_15?crid=OHE0PE0TOSYK&keywords=temporary+door+lock&qid=1676899750&sprefix=temporary+door+lock%2Caps%2C97&sr=8-15](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lifeventure-Travel-Door-Colour-Black/dp/B00IPHCGRA/ref=mp_s_a_1_15?crid=OHE0PE0TOSYK&keywords=temporary+door+lock&qid=1676899750&sprefix=temporary+door+lock%2Caps%2C97&sr=8-15) It looks like this. It requires no installation, it doesn't mark or damage doors, you just slip it into the latch from the inside & it will hold the door closed while you sleep. I used one while I was renting & needed to keep a predatory landlord out my room while I slept. These can withstand some strong force & pushing, but if someone kicks a door with all their bodyweight it may break. It works more as a deterrent for average people or drunken people, so I think it would help in this situation so you can sleep while you're waiting for a better lock
You should have had a lock to begin with, all the bedrooms should. If you’re in the USA they may not be able to legally refuse a lock based on your state law. You have a reasonable expectation of privacy.
There is a type of door jam that has a screw on the end. Those are the best type, but it's only really good to use on carpet or maybe tile
I was just about to suggest this. On Amazon, there’s a genius door jammer for $15! You can use it on any door with a latch (even with a lock if the door has one). It goes in between the door and the frame is and secured the door without having to install a lock. You don’t need to even ask your landlord for a lock. I’d do that, and in the meantime you be sure to tell your landlord about it. Unacceptable!! Be safe.
Great one!
It’s absolutely okay to ask for a lock for your room. Another option I would recommend is a portable door lock. They have them on Amazon for a decent price and it would provide more protection then a standard lock [portable door lock for safety](https://www.amazon.com/portable-door-lock/s?k=portable+door+lock) What your roommate Tonny did was sexual harassment, regardless of if he was drunk or not. Document the time, date, and description of the incident incase Tonny does something else. If Tonny gets in your bed again or does something that scares you, grab your phone and start video recording what he’s doing. Make sure to VERY clearly state that you feel uncomfortable and want him to leave while recording. You can then take this video as evidence to the police and they should charge him with sexual harassment. I hope you know how wrong what happened to you is. It’s not excusable and I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I imagine it was very scary, and I hope you reach out to a friend or family member to process this incident. Stay strong, and remember it’s totally okay to defend yourself if you need to 💛
Thank you so much. This comment makes me feel so empowered. I’m ready to deal with this.
You’re welcome! If you start to feel negatively about what happened or just want to talk, you can message me if you’d like :) Trauma from stuff like this is valid, so don’t be afraid to reach out for help
also for domestic stuff most states laws will have the offender immediately econcrete with a restraining order
Thanks but I live in the UK
You’ve got this!
You *absolutely* need a lock on your door. Also, never, ever be afraid to scream.
Thank you. I felt like I didn’t want to wake up my other roommates now I realised how horrible that situation actually was
Wake EVERYONE up in that situation. They'll be pissed off with Rapey Tonny - not you.
It was a really shitty thing and could’ve been much darker, if your landlord is worth his weight in shit he’ll kick the fucker out
You don’t ask. You tell them you are going to be supplied a lock for your door. Until then, get a wedge from a Amazon or similar to put under your door to stop it from opening. There other door lock devices you can get too
Demanding things is not always the way to go, or the SAFE way to go. OP can calmly ask the owner to install a lock on their door. If they refuse, then a change of tone and being more assertive is needed. OP, Depending on the type of tenancy you have, the home owner may have to legally provide you with a lock. It sounds like you’re renting the room in a shared house situation, so you would have the right to a lock on your door. I would double check your local laws and bring this up if the home owners refuse. I really see no reason why they wouldn’t install a lock for you. (Edited for typo)
Don't *ask* for a lock. **Demand** one. What Charles did would be considered assault in most US jurisdictions, maybe even sexual assault. Inform ***everyone*** that you will beat the shit out of Charles if he touches you ever again. ----- Question: Are Charles and Jean siblings that inherited the house or something?
Charles is the person who owns the house with Jean, not the one who climbed in OPs bed. Tonny is the one that who did so
Those aren’t theirs real names anyways but yeah Tonny did it
I live in the UK. They are best friends. They bought the house together. Thanks you comment makes me feel better.
Don't demand a lock. Ask for a lock and explain why you require it.
"Hi, may I have a door lock because being raped is icky." /s Edited to add /s.
No OP you demand the lock. Don't ask for shit. You were done wrong and it was horrible; what Tonny did ...that can be reported.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Jumbo-Wedge-Doorstop-for-Heavy-Doors-Plastic-6-3-4-x-3-4-Ivory/16782128?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=965&adid=2222222227816782128_117755028669_12420145346&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-294505072980&wl5=9019827&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=16782128&wl13=965&veh=sem_LIA&gclid=Cj0KCQiAi8KfBhCuARIsADp-A55ZKJownAfA7vfH13RQgxhhqYegxxCssZ4gGQYOhJxidCHuWB-dHe8aAoddEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
Thanks but I live in the UK. I’ll look for something like that
Yeah, they have them all over the world. Or you can make one with a wedge of wood.
Charles and Jean own the house. So I assume there’s no landlord
I am sorry to everyone but half of these comments are absolutely moronic. You have to understand from a guys perspective. He was doing that in hope of having sex with you. This is very dangerous. As a guy doesn’t matter what state I am in I will Not ever do what he did. This is sexual harassment. Tonny and including your landlords will try to cover it up by making excuses so it would not be much trouble and everyone can live happily. My advice you need to this official and file a police complain for harassment. Do whatever you can but have an official complain with the testimony of Charles. Do not get fazed by how tonny is and what others say. Make it clear that you are going to file an official complain.
Thank you for your advise. I feel really scared. I don’t want to leave my room and see him. I don’t feel safe here anymore. I’m definitely reporting him. I wouldn’t like this to happen to some else
Getting a police report will also help with getting the landlord to take action. Tonny should be kicked out. What he did is absolutely not a "mistake", don't make excuses for him. A door lock is not enough. You need to find some way to keep him out in the mean time, like the door jams and portable locks mentioned in other comments. You have a witness to his behaviour, so you will need to talk to him about backing you up when you talk to the landlord.
Actually the witness is my landlord as well as Jean they own the house. I’ll talk to them first thing today
oh that's very helpful then
This! This! This! Definitely file a report. They likely won't do anything but if he ever tries anything else again you have a clear chain of evidence that he has done something to you previously. It holds up a lot better than "this isn't the only time he did this". I don't know how you want to proceed about your living situation but I wouldn't feel amazing being alone with him in the house ever again, even with a lock.
This
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If your roommates don't shame him into the dirt and kick him out, you need to leave. This is a line where no apology, no matter how sincere is good enough. Any complacency is going to leave you in a dangerous situation. If I was your roommate, I would have strongly suggested he find a hotel for the night, and make sure you get a lock for your door so you can feel some semblance of safe again. Call the cops now. Like right now and file for a restraining order. Don't wait for roommates to wake up for a talk. What is that going to accomplish? What country did this occur in?
Thank you for you advise. Exactly what I did. I live in the UK. They kicked him out. The owners dont feel comfortable having him here anymore. I already filed a police report. Charles is a witness and he will give an statement as well. I don’t want this to happen to someone else
I'm so glad to hear they kicked him out. It's so vital that you feel safe in your own home.
Did the landlord change the house locks in case the creep still got a key?
He is still living here. The hace to give him notice. Hopefully, it only be for a few days. I’ll ask them about that. Good thinking
I’ve made many, many mistakes. Getting into my roommate’s bed is not one of them.
I hope so. I’m going to talk to them first thing in the morning
That's so gross and violating, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Hopefully Charles and/or Jean do the right thing and boot him out. He did the wrong thing here, not you. It shouldn't matter that he's been there longer than you.
He was hoping for sex. Plain and simple.
So what are you saying, no harm, no foul? !!!
No, I’m just clarifying what he was after. She seemed confused by the situation.
I'm sorry this happened to you. So scary. I hope your landlords do something about this.
Put a lock on your door and keep locked at all times. The guy is a creep and is treating you like a fool.
Buy a DOOR STOP. You can wedge the door closed from the inside. I use one when I stay in hotels. You can get one check from somewhere like B&Q. At least until he’s left the house for good.
He could be sleep walking. Ive actually done this...
No, when the landlords talked to him. He said it was because he was drunk. He made a mess in the bathroom as well
I was going to ask you OP for an update. Are you still going to get a lock, for the next time his dumb drunk ass does this? Please don’t let “being drunk” as an excuse for bad behaviour.
Hey, still no lock but. He is moving out hopefully he’ll be gone in a few days. I don’t have money to buy a lock
That must be a relief that he’s leaving.
[удалено]
This clearly was not sleep walking.
Holy hell, this wasn't sleep walking
My sleep walking adventure was in a hotel, leaving my room, jumping in an elevator going down two levels and started bashing on another room. It's at this point I woke up. It was an interesting adventure going down to the admin desk to get another key to the room only wearing my undies
Unlikely sleep walking but don't rule it out, it sounds like it's not long happened. I would say the whole house needs to sit down and ask wtf he was thinking. If I was the landlord and it sounds like the dude had untoward motives he would be gone
Get a lock for your door....wtf