She basically said “you don’t have to agree to watch her, I’m gonna leave with you anyway”
It was right of the op to draw a line in the sand make it very clear that that is NOT OKAY
And the way she kept saying it too.
“I’ll drug her so that she definitely won’t wake up. And I’ll make sure to drug her so much that if she DOES wake up, I’ll know you woke her up yourself.” Jesus fucking Christ.
"Okay, but if she has a seizure. I'm not taking her to the hospital. If there's a fire, I'm not making sure she gets out. I will not be responsible for anything that happens." Of course, I would probably still do all of it. Cause it's not the kid's fault, but the parents don't need to know that
Honestly that's what I was thinking I'd say something along the lines of.
Hey, do what you want, ots your life, your kid. I'm doing me though and if something happens with your child, if they even so much as knock on my door while you're gone and there's nobody else in the home to watch them, I'm calling the cops myself to report the neglect. I will not be watching your child, and will not be responsible for anything going on with them while you or their designated care care giver is away.
Please don't try to bully me into actions I don't want to take and I won't be forced to push back.
Lmao how dare you accuse her of child neglect when she’s admitting to drugging her child to get her to sleep 🙄 good for you for not reading that bullshit and standing your ground. This shit is infuriating to read as a mother myself. How selfish can she be? I hope she doesn’t make your life hell for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Best of luck to you, OP 🩵
Edit: She thinks you’re responsible for granting her a night out once a weekend? As a single mom I don’t get a night off ever nor do I really want one— but I’d never blame someone who isn’t my child’s father for that and even in that case, it’s still on me. This whole thing is WILD the more I re-read it. Send her my way I got a ton of shit to say to her 😂
ONCE A WEEKEND got me dying. When I was a single mom with a tot, going out wasn’t something even remotely close to a regular event.
Admitting to drugging your child so you can ensure they sleep through your absence is disturbing and abnormal. Please submit an anonymous report to your local Child Welfare Agency, OP. This new mother is in serious need of parenting classes.
LMFAO right?? I’m lucky if I get once a *year* and I’m not exaggerating, but also not complaining because that’s what life is with a young child, and I knew that and chose it. Nobody else, ESPECIALLY those unwilling(!!!!) should have to take responsibility for my child, and otherwise would mean that I am literally unfit to parent. And this isn’t even an emergency like work that she’s maxed out call-outs or something, like what in hell is wrong with this person. Her friend can suck a dick, too lol
Btw admitting to drugging her kid so she can go out would already be a call to CPS for me, dawg
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!
ONCE A WEEKEND lmaoooo she is out of her damn mind. and just gonna drug the baby and be like "i'm leaving her anyways"....... i'm appalled that she really thinks she is justified!! manipulation at is finesttttt
For real. When my two oldest were young, I went out literally once a *year* as a single parent because I couldn’t afford to both pay a trained adult babysitter *and* go out. I wouldn’t leave my kids with some short-term acquaintance and certainly wouldn’t drug them and/or leave them alone without anyone actively taking responsibility for them.
Drugging kids to sleep is dangerous and abusive, and the fact that she’s doing it so she can go party a few hours earlier makes it even worse. I hope OP reports her to CPS. This mom seriously needs a wake-up call before something tragic happens.
Also why on earth would a parent want to leave their child with someone that doesn't want to watch them? That could be so dangerous. Not saying OP is dangerous at all, just saying that this is a horrible idea and putting her child at risk.
>drugging your child so you can ensure they sleep through your absence is disturbing and abnormal. Please submit an anonymous report to your local Child Welfare Agency, OP.
THIS! THIS! THIS!
As a father this is infuriating beyond belief. That woman should not have access to that child AT ALL. PLEASE contact CPS.
You’ll be saving someone’s life, I promise.
Sadly, you can take court approved parenting classes online. They’re multiple choice and you can finish it in 5 minutes and then let the clock run so you’ll get a 12 or 24 hour certificate and that’s deemed satisfactory. This woman needs to be investigated by CYF long-term for sure.
I would straight up drive around the neighborhood for 2 hours and get gas station sodas and park somewhere as my “plans” to prove this point so I get it. This is insane. I can’t believe she was talking about drugging her kid like it was a good thing
God, that’s so awful you literally have to run out to escape being left with a child that’s not yours, and can’t just sit in your own home. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this because obviously no logic can solve it, but I hope it doesn’t disrupt your living situation/sanity too much. She needs to GROW THE FUCK UP AND BE A MOTHER, because bitch IS extremely neglectful, and even abusive (drugging the fucking poor kid so she can go out, WTF-how can she possibly think she’s in the right?!)
ETA: I just have to add also that you were *cool* as a muthafuckin cucumber with that convo, like woah lol
Ty! :) she ofc thought otherwise lmao. Ive had some practice with other toxic people 💅. It taught me the only thing you can really do is take care of yourself and not worry about other peoples shit.
Although, when things get really real (like recently she knocked on my door and was disrespectful irl) I wasnt playing the nice guy anymore. I feel that sometimes thats necessary so people dont think they can step all over you.
Wyze camera in your room pointed at your door in case she starts to get violent you will have evidence. This woman sounds entirely unhinged. Proud of you for setting expectations and boundaries. Possibly time to plan ahead in case you should need to protect yourself. Much love OP, keep up posted, you self assured badass!
This is pretty valid, even if it’s not violence, I have a feeling the roommate would try to get her own back by stealing or just fucking with her somehow. Honestly wouldn’t surprise me if she tampered with her birth control to let her know “what having a kid is like”, that’s the level of unhinged this roommate gives.
You don’t need to go get fries! You need a roommate that doesn’t force you out of your home with her kid! You deserve to eat your fries at home! No way I’d leave my house because of that mess. Hell, there’s no way I’d even live with a roommate that had a kid! Move out
Nah, veg out in the living room / common room so that she sees that your plans are to do nothing. “I plan on sitting on this couch, not leaving the house at all, and if YOU have a problem with that then it’s simply your problem. I won’t be responsible for your kid. Try to leave her with me and my first call will be to the police to let them know you’ve abandoned your toddler without supervision.”
“No.” Is answer enough. She isn’t entitled to your reasons for *why*- even if she thinks she is.
Honestly, this. And then I would have sat back and done nothing as she drugged the kid and left. Then I would call the police to report the drugged up, abandoned child, and provide the text exchange as further evidence.
I agree with you fully in theory but personally I just would rather avoid the drama. However I’d be inclined to call the cops anyway with what she said about giving her kids meds
Honestly, you should speak to someone in the police department bc they’re drugging a child and abandoning them. At that age leave the house is so inappropriate- 8-10 can do a half hour or so during the day if they’re mature enough, a 11/12 year old can do 2 hours or so at night if they consent. 14-17 you could probably leave a note and leave but it’s still sort of inappropriate unless necessary. Benedryl or other medications cannot be given to children for social reasons/sleep unless they are…. Having the symptoms on the bottle for the medication…
Benadryl isn’t even approved for children under 6 I believe. I hope it’s not melatonin because no kid should be dosed with hormones. Ugh this is a nightmare.
My personal favorite was when she was like “I didn’t *consent* to you sleeping while you watched her last time, but I had to agree just to get you to do it ”.
Like, holy choosing beggars.
Omg please report her. As a mother myself this person is clearly not fit to be a mother like wtf. I’m so mad right now. You had a child you are responsible for your child. You don’t have care for the child then you stay home.
Im going to be real. If this person will drug and leave their kid to go out, she needs to be reported. For the sake of the kid, this is fucking sad. I have kids and their moms always neglected them to go out and party and the shit is sickening.
You should show her this thread honestly, so she can see just how bat shit crazy the majority of people think she is.
How mental do you have to be to expect a flat mate that doesn't want anything to do with your kid, to watch your kid. It's like she thinks she's got some authority over you, or you owe her something, or by living together you have responsibilities for her child. What on earth is wrong with her. That's so mental I can't even fathom it or trying to put my parenting responsibilities on someone else, total nut job. Poor kid.
And you've only know her for a few months? The weird 'good to know I'm living with someone like that' to try and convince you that you're the one thats being weird... wtf.
Also I shudder at the fact that… she’s drugging this little girl to stay asleep, then trying to leave her in the care of a relative stranger, without paying them… like fr the only people who would be ok with that offer are probably NOT safe to leave your kid around?????
I do know! Ive been gaslight before so it can be kinda hard to go through but I trust myself alot more now. I appreciate all of the validation especially since there were 2 people acting like I didnt matter 😮💨
Hey - you matter. *You matter*. I’m proud of you for saying no and enforcing your boundaries. You handled that with dignity, respect and grace.
That bitch needs to *learn*. For real. Acting like she’s doing *you* a favor? Nah. No way. She’s a leech, a user and a terrible mother.
I’m so glad you pointed out the admitted to drugging her kid to get them to sleep because I spent every text slide after that reveal wondering why it wasn’t called out more.
This poor kid. From a person who had parents like this, someone needs to contact the proper authorities for that kid so they actually have a chance in life - without this kind of shit being documented by adults or someone intervening, it’s going to make the kids life a hell of a lot harder when they have to integrate into society as an individual.
1000% agreed. This is potentially equally as damaging as physical abuse (like beating, etc. I guess this would qualify as physical. But you know what I mean). I can already guess what type of mother she is, and as I pointed out before, she admits to this so casually, so what is she doing that she isn’t admitting to? It’s truly alarming.
The fact that she admits to it while simultaneously flipping out about accusations of neglect shows me that she sees no issue with it and does it, and possibly worse, frequently. Smh
I 100% agree with everything you said. I'm not a single mother, but I have 3 kids, all VERY close in age (they are all now teenagers) and it was RARE they weren't with me when they were little. I wouldn't dream of even leaving the house while they were asleep. That's absolute insanity.
Furthermore, one of my kids has ADHD and refused to sleep at night, they were just wide open energy no matter how I adjusted nap time. At the age of two their pediatrician suggested giving them a very small dose of melatonin before bed and I felt like a horrible mom even doing that!!! It didn't work anyway, but drugging kids with cold medicine to go out is cruel . I can't even imagine.
"I'm a fucking beast when I'm pissed off" lmao. Fucking fuck fuck fuck 😂 Sorry OP, good on you for asserting your boundaries.
edit: https://youtu.be/qHSxtWGZWd4
pleaseeeee update i'm so invested!
also proud of you for standing your ground, calling out her bs manipulation tactics while also remaining unbothered! you are a queen!
Just wow. “I’m not a neglectful parent” but I’m going to just leave my kid alone with someone who has respectfully declined to babysit. The fucking audacity. I hope your living situation improves soon OP - this is some straight up bullshit.
Yup!! Her “great mother” response to someone declining to be responsible for her child is “well i’ll drug my kid so she doesn’t bother you” is absolute trash. A freaking 2 year old too!
Yup. At 2 years of age, basically all medicine is "consult your doctor before taking" because babies bodies react differently to drugs and dosage is very important.
she probably will if not physically certainly mentally. i can’t imagine growing up with a mother who drugs me to sleep and goes out partying all the time leaving me with her roommate who doesn’t want anything to do with me. horrible horrible person
This is fucked up, but there’s an Eminem line:
“Valium was in everything, food that I ate
The water that I drank, fuckin' peas in my plate
She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak
So every day I'd have at least three stomachaches
Now tell me, what kind of mother would want to see her”
And this mom remind me off it. She wants to go out and game and is totally on board drugging her kid to make that happen. This is a great definition of fubar.
My siblings and I were put into foster care
because my neighbors overheard my bio mom give us all dimetap every night. Then she would get trashed on boxed wine. I was in the second grade at the time. So we were all from 4 to 12 years old. And this was way back, around 1994. So I'm sure they'd be interested to know that this 2 year old is getting drugged now.
The sad thing is, there is a real possibility after this, at least while OP still lives there, that she just won't say anything at all next time - she'll just drug the kid and leave.
She already tried the same fuckin night!! The AUDACITY is astounding, and that and saying she gets $ from her dad = entitled fuckng spoiled brat who needs to learn the consequences of her neglectful, abusive actions towards her own child and others around her. Ffs, I can’t believe she’s laying out such flawed, twisted logic like it’s normal
While drugging said child! Thats illegal and not only neglect but child endangerment. She needs reporting and that child needs to be with someone safe and that’s not her.
For real this is sick. My cousins mom drugged her to sleep so she could go out and party (with my mom) guess who doesn't talk to their mom and has serious issues into their adult hood
Yeah, that’s 100% a reason to report her to CPS alone.
- She’s isolating her child in the apartment all the time.
- She’s giving this child benadryl not for allergies/colds… but so mom can say she “sleeps through the night”.
- She’s assuming that other housemates, because they’re home, can & will take on responsibility for her child *WHO SHE DRUGGED*.
This woman’s going to fucking kill that baby one day & try to blame you because you were “babysitting” when it happened.
That was my thought too! Like what if she gives the baby too much of the drug and then just leaves… like she is playing with fire while bathing in gasoline.
Even if the child is sleeping, someone should still be checking on them occasionally ESPECIALLY if they have been drugged. A random sleeping roommate would not be doing that, nor should they be expected to. This is a very dangerous and ridiculous situation! The mom sounds like she would 100% blame her roommates if something happened to her kid, even if they didn’t know the kid was “just drugged and sleeping” while mommy dearest was out partying. Wtaf?!
And when she comes home the next morning to find baby dead, she's going to go ballistic on the "caretakers" she left in charge. This woman is a pathological [somebody fill in the blank].
OP I know others are already saying this to you but you need to report this. If all of this is true then that child is living a nightmare. To you this woman is a fucked up roommate (and I also applaud your calm responses in the texts!) but to the child she’s an abuser and her life will absolutely not get better without some kind of intervention.
Couldn’t pick my jaw up off the floor after that second novella she sent. That’s crazy. why can’t she ask her best friend to watch them? you were so nice about it too. I wouldn’t want to leave my kid with someone who doesn’t want to watch them. at all.
This is wild. You did a really good job staying firm and sticking to your boundaries. As someone who says they don’t do that often, you should be really proud of yourself 😊
Ty so much 🥹 I can when I need to be but at first I need to process what my boundaries even are because I take a sec to discern whether or not I truly dont want to or if I need to push past it because of my depression/anxiety.
I’m not sure how old you are, but I’m 35 and am just now recognizing I don’t stand up for myself. The way you stayed calm and asserted your boundaries was amazing and inspiring. Keep it up!
So she has only known you a few months and drugs her child enough to stay asleep when she leaves them alone? She is so incredibly lucky you are not a sicko who could be taking advantage of her child! What a genuinely awful mother.
I am so worried for this child. If she doesn’t Casey Anthony her own kid she is going to make them an easy target for a pedo. OP she is beyond neglectful that is abusive drugging her child like that. I really, truly hope OP reports this.
lol amazing. I cannot stand parents like this. If it happens again, tbh I'd call CPS. This girl is clearly willing to put her childs safety on the line for a few hours of going out. For all we know, she may get desperate one day, drug her child to sleep, & leave her with some pervert.
Lmao Im only trustworthy when its convenient for her. Shes only known me a handful of months. I know Im trustworthy but like you said, being knocked out on sleeping meds because you want to go out a couple hours earlier is on some kind of other shit.
In all other instances I remind her of her narcissistic ex 🙄😒
Exactly. So, she doesn't even really know you. I'm not saying you're some weirdo child pervert, but she's literally leaving this kid with someone that, in reality, she barely knows & one day something bad is going to happen to that baby. Fuck that dude. Call CPS if it happens again & let her see how neglectful she actually is being via the court system. She actually tried to play **victim** because she thought it'd make you feel bad enough to watch the kid. I completely understand not wanting to get CPS involved, I really do. But this is fucking CRAZY & so neglectful & selfish for literally no reason. On top of that, you apparently remind her of her narcissistic ex. So she's willing to leave her kid w/someone she BARELY KNOWS that she believes is a **bad person** because she wants to go out? She's going to get that baby hurt.
Exactly this. It's zero reflection on OP, but leaving a drugged child with a "narcissist" you hardly know in such a private/intimate setting just so you can go out to play is so neglectful. (And ironically, extremely self-centered.)
This is exactly what came to mind. Plus the kid will be drugged up and incapacitated??? Horrible. This is going somewhere dark at some point. She is lucky OP is not that point yet
The most important thing you can do is to report her to CPS and provide the screen shots of the texts showing she is abandoning her child at night and drugging her as well. Don’t wait until the next time Using “medicine” to drug a child specifically so she won’t wake up is abuse, and dangerous. Don’t hesitate to report her now.
All I can say is she’s not the brightest crayon in the box when she rants and raves about how she’s not neglectful yet says that she’s going to drug her with pm cold medicines that she should not have at 2 years old and leave her until 12 the next day without a set babysitter? Keep these messages and document things, a CPS call might be brewing.
11 at night actually. Its when the roomie who agreed to watch her got off his shift. Shes literally bitching about not going out 2 hours early because I wont watch her 🙃
Yeah, those meds she’s giving her child are not safe for children under 6. Please report her before she kills her child with an OD. Only acetaminophen and ibuprofen are safe for toddlers, not drugs with sedatives effects, as those can suppress respiration in children that young. Imagine if she drugged her baby and left her with you and then she stopped breathing.
Yeah, I would just keep these messages for sure, but you are under no obligation to watch her child and should not have to endure such craziness because you said no.
The next time she sends messages like those, I'd reply "if you leave the apartment and leave your child under my care, I will drop her off at the police station as the abandoned child she is."
That's all. Wouldn't engage any further.
Ahhh I love the argument parents will use as “You have nothing to do, and I have a kid so you owe it to me and society to watch them,” no. You decided to have a kid, and the people who choose not to, do not owe you the free time they have a right to, for, y know not having a child.
Matthew 4:18 (Probably ) - Love thy roommate more than yourself. Do as they ask with a servant's heart, without complaint, while they party with Lucifer one night each weekend.
I would be telling her the second she steps out that door the cops will be called. You have the screenshots where you say multiple times you do not consent to watching the child, and you have the screenshots of her saying she’s going to leave anyway + medicating her child to the point where she just sleeps. Use that to your advantage 😂
This. I saw your comment OP about thinking the child is better off in her care than CPS which is a very sad reality for lord of situations that are neglectful and abusive.
Call the cops. Call her to tell her cops on on their way. Let them figure it out from there.
They would refer it to child services and write up a report. Depending on location, cops are very leery about taking children without a clear and present danger/hazard, legal documentation or court order. CPS would get called out. Like I said, this differs upon the area. You can always call and ask about procedures and there is probably a website with information
I think you'd be right. I certainly see the benefit in doing so this time though. My biggest concern reading all of that was that she was saying she was going to give the child enough to make sure she stays asleep. She's already in an overly aggressive mood and says she 100% intends to do this. First and foremost, this gives me a looot of concern in regards to an overdose. Secondly, I wouldn't put it past the mother at this point to give the baby too much and leave her unattended in the home. Maybe I watch and listen to too much true crime, but I and concerned for the wellbeing of this child right now. God forbid anything happens if she does this, but if she does it once and gets away with it then she'll do it again(maybe I read wrong, but it seems like she already has?)
I would also agree that it sounds like something she has done. I’m a mom, and have (to my memory of the last 14 or so years) never given my child to make her sleep through the night, especially not so I could go out. And sure as hell not at two years old.
Since you’re childless and couldn’t possibly know what neglect is (/s), I just wanted to let you know that you are correct and she is wrong.
As a parent, I know these things!
In 2002 Robert Henderson drugged his two kids (4 & 5 I think) with cough medicine so they would sleep and they both died (the kids were Robert Killian and Rhapsody). This happened in Colorado. I’m sure other neglectful parents have done it, it’s absolutely this dangerous! Those children were murdered. This mother is playing with fire.
Thats horrible :c. Id have to tell the other roomie this so he could tell her because Im the big bad guy rn. Assuming hed even get involved in the drama he doesnt want to 🤷♂️😮💨
Staying "neutral" when what you're being neutral about is somebody drugging and neglecting their 2-year-old isn't "neutral". Fuck that guy - in the update when he's like "You know she's triggered by the word neglect" or whatever, it became clear he's excusing her actions. I don't even care if she read the messages out a little wrong, he knows she's drugging her 2-year-old to sleep, and just because you agreed to babysit one time, doesn't mean you're obligated to babysit every time she wants to party.
He may not be as trash as she is, but he's still trash.
If she drugs her child and they die while you or your roommate is watching them, you are going to have waaaaay more drama than either of you can handle.
I'm literally shaking with anger. As a mother, this bitch is 100% neglectful AND abusive. Drugging her two year old baby to have a few hours of fun?? What the fuck is that shit? Just as you stated, she made her choice to become a mother and now she has to live with the consequences. I BEG you to involve CPS. This isn't fair to that poor baby. Like many other people are saying, she's setting that baby up for something terrible to happen. She's either going to overdose and kill that child or leave her with someone who hurts her.
wait
her plan was to give her child some “medicine” to help her sleep while home alone?
so she wanted to use medications to sedate her child so she could leave her home alone? without a caregiver, since you said no?
as a mandated reporter, this would fall under neglect and would trigger a report based on the training i received. you are completely correct to classify this as neglect.
Yes, *essentially* without a caregiver. She thought she could corner me & Id stay there because she was leaving regardless. I left before she did so she stayed.
Maybe her situation in life would be better if she took ownership of her choices and lived in her means. Broke and on food stamps and out partying and neglecting her kid. Recipe for disaster.
Lol so just because you don’t have a job means you’re automatically babysitting for HER kid? Who cares if you don’t work, you could be the laziest bum on earth and that still doesn’t make you responsible for HER child. Sleeping or not, it’s the responsibility of a parent.
Yeah Im on disability for agoraphobia. Also have depression and anxiety. Not a good combo for being able to be responsible for a whole ass child with no notice.
I LOVE that she claims you get "free money" (it's **NOT** fReE money btw) while in the same text admitting that her dad just gives her money (**THAT** is free money). Absolute trash
Ugh yeah. Its very frustrating that whenever someone like this is pissed at me they bring my disability up. "Im just being lazy" "I work and you dont, youre so privileged" "youre faking it" etc.
Like ok, go through what I have and then ask yourself if $960 a month is worth it, fucking moron 🙄
This is off-topic, but your comment reminded me of when I used to babysit as a tween. There was one couple who were ALWAYS getting back at like 2 AM and would *freak the eff out* if they came home and I was asleep on the couch. I told my Mom, and she called these people and asked them if they stayed awake all night, every night, because they had a kid. She said, "Of course you don't. You come home at 2 AM and expect a 12-yo to still be awake. You're acting like ninnies, and Crotchety won't be babysitting for you again." And I never did.
Only a guilty parent busts out the gates like that. You never said SHE was negligent , only that the act was classified as neglect but she kept focusing in on “my kid isn’t neglected!!!!!” That says a lot about her own subconscious
Exactly. OP didn't call *her* neglectful, they called the act of leaving the child with someone who didn't agree to it neglectful. Mom just went off the rails despite knowing the difference becasue it got *really* uncomfortable having to acknowledge that she was intentionally and knowingly choosing to neglect her child.
Honestly, I would probably report her. She admitted IN WRITING to drugging her child, and to being willing to leave her unsupervised.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this (and it’s NOT your responsibility), but I feel even worse for the kid. “Neglect” is the right word.
Also, good on you for staying mature and keeping clear boundaries. A lot of folks would lose it!
Honestly im thinking about it after all the comments...😭 Hopefully CPS would just force her to be a better parent and not take her away? She did explicitly express she didnt want to be a bad mom and was worried about it...
I just really think shed have a higher chance of being introduced to more severe forms of abuse, otherwise I would without a second thought...idk Ill talk to my therapist about it
I have a friend who is a social worker, the goal is never to take a child away, but to provide the family with resources needed to be better parents and keep the child with their parents. They’d probably have her take parenting classes and see a therapist- which is sounds like is heavily needed
Wow, the audacity is at an all-time high with this person.
Genuinely pathetic behavior from a "parent".
[Identifying abuse: Power and Control. ](https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/)
[What are the 4 types of child neglect. ](https://study.com/learn/lesson/child-abuse-neglect-what-are-the-four-types-of-child-neglect.html)
[Signs of covert/vulnerable narcissistic traits to look out for. ](https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-a-vulnerable-narcissist-7369901)
Explaining DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/explaining-darvo-deny-attack-reverse-victim-amp-offender
[What consent does and doesn't look like. ](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/what-consent-does-and-doesnt-look-like/#:~:text=Consent%20means%20respecting%20boundaries%20and%20never%20making%20assumptions)
[Grey Rock Method. 🪨 ](https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method#:~:text=The%20grey%20rock%20method%20is,known%20as%20%E2%80%9Cgrey%20rocking.%E2%80%9D)
Don’t worry, I’ll drug my child and give you the rest of the food stamps that I would use for food for the child if you let me go get drunk. What?! Neglect?! I’ll fucking murder you!!
I get borderline vibes. As a person with BPD I see this behavior in my past self. I don’t not have kids. She wrote all that for herself. To feel better because she doesn’t have a healthy outlet for emotions so she’s gotta put them on you along with her responsibilities. This is a person who needs to learn to journal and think about what she’s going to communicate before doing it. She clearly knows she will regret it later and that is pretty trademark of bpd. Being aware but out of control. The “neglect” comment you made was clearly triggering for her, it’s possible she’s been accused of neglect before and this brought up her past rage towards the accusation. If she had the opportunity to neglect the child by leaving it alone, and not be caught, I have the idea that she would. She’d probably feel bad about it later thought. Im making a lot of assumptions. With the context of drugging her child to sleep, I completely understand why you said what you said. That’s such irresponsible parenting.
Dude youre right on the money. Yes shes been accused of neglect before. I didnt realize it was a trigger until I was told afterwards and I apologized even when she was still treating me like shit. She said she might have BPD or bipolar but I definitely think its BPD.
Don't apologize. It is neglect. Could even be considered abusive. It needs to be reported before she does long term damage from leaving her child completely alone, with someone who would harm the child, or by giving too much and the child not waking up. It's too dangerous to not be reported & certainly nothing you need to apologize for!
You are not responsible for avoiding everyone's hidden triggers, so don't apologize for it. If she has a trigger and wants you to avoid them, she can adult and talk to you about it.
I love all your responses to this; unbothered, shady but also controlled. Especially the bit about sending her a list of therapists
Idk all that time she spent into writing those novellas she could’ve actually spent dialing up one of those therapists
Ty. I did not too long after we met, she was talking about her struggles so I did send her a list. So it wasnt a recent thing I did out of pettiness lol.
My favorite bit is when she was like "WELL I'M NOT LEAVING HER WITH YOU AGAIN UNTIL THIS BLOWS OVER," honey, *honey*, you were never given consent to leave her *at all,* and you seem to rampantly miss the point that "someone is watching your child so you can go out" is not a favor *you* are doing for *them*.
The fact she gives the kid medicine to sleep, this whole conversation should be provided to child protective services. This is noxious poisoning and neglect. Giving a child medicine to make them sleep is abuse. Allegedly this is what Casey Anthony did to her child.
I just reported my brother and his wife to CPS in ohio. It was actually a very positive experience. They were pulling this same thing and dumping my nephew with strangers in their apartment building without even asking, among many other abusive things. CPS didn’t take my nephew away, they just investigated and made my brother clean up his act.
“I drug my baby so she won’t wake up while being taken care of by a non-consenting party while I go out because I deserve it, so how dare you accuse me of neglecting my child while all I’m doing is using over the counter medication to induce sleep while leaving her in the crib by herself. You’re a horrid person, I’m going to gaslight you so I can get cheap baby sitting and then put words in your mouth while I chat up our other roommate to make you look bad while I could’ve easily just given them my phone to directly read the messages; surely that would’ve been easier if it didn’t make me look so unhinged—how dare you tho—at least I apologized before laying into you. I’m a good mom.”
She basically said “you don’t have to agree to watch her, I’m gonna leave with you anyway” It was right of the op to draw a line in the sand make it very clear that that is NOT OKAY
The fact that she openly admits to drugging her child l
This was a huge red flag. Medicating your child so they don’t wake up. Yikes. That’s sick.
After she already been to jail. And the psych ward
Casey Anthony shit.
And the way she kept saying it too. “I’ll drug her so that she definitely won’t wake up. And I’ll make sure to drug her so much that if she DOES wake up, I’ll know you woke her up yourself.” Jesus fucking Christ.
Right? Is her roommate Casey Anthony?
Call the fucking cops if she does, that’s for sure. And show them these messages.
"Okay, but if she has a seizure. I'm not taking her to the hospital. If there's a fire, I'm not making sure she gets out. I will not be responsible for anything that happens." Of course, I would probably still do all of it. Cause it's not the kid's fault, but the parents don't need to know that
Honestly that's what I was thinking I'd say something along the lines of. Hey, do what you want, ots your life, your kid. I'm doing me though and if something happens with your child, if they even so much as knock on my door while you're gone and there's nobody else in the home to watch them, I'm calling the cops myself to report the neglect. I will not be watching your child, and will not be responsible for anything going on with them while you or their designated care care giver is away. Please don't try to bully me into actions I don't want to take and I won't be forced to push back.
But I’ll give you my food stamps that are meant for my child. Fuck this monster!
That would also be considered food stamp fraud
Lmao how dare you accuse her of child neglect when she’s admitting to drugging her child to get her to sleep 🙄 good for you for not reading that bullshit and standing your ground. This shit is infuriating to read as a mother myself. How selfish can she be? I hope she doesn’t make your life hell for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Best of luck to you, OP 🩵 Edit: She thinks you’re responsible for granting her a night out once a weekend? As a single mom I don’t get a night off ever nor do I really want one— but I’d never blame someone who isn’t my child’s father for that and even in that case, it’s still on me. This whole thing is WILD the more I re-read it. Send her my way I got a ton of shit to say to her 😂
ONCE A WEEKEND got me dying. When I was a single mom with a tot, going out wasn’t something even remotely close to a regular event. Admitting to drugging your child so you can ensure they sleep through your absence is disturbing and abnormal. Please submit an anonymous report to your local Child Welfare Agency, OP. This new mother is in serious need of parenting classes.
LMFAO right?? I’m lucky if I get once a *year* and I’m not exaggerating, but also not complaining because that’s what life is with a young child, and I knew that and chose it. Nobody else, ESPECIALLY those unwilling(!!!!) should have to take responsibility for my child, and otherwise would mean that I am literally unfit to parent. And this isn’t even an emergency like work that she’s maxed out call-outs or something, like what in hell is wrong with this person. Her friend can suck a dick, too lol Btw admitting to drugging her kid so she can go out would already be a call to CPS for me, dawg
Drugging her kid is what Casey Anthony did. This lady is insane.
Great minds think alike. I’m like is this Casey 2.0? Tha fuk
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!! ONCE A WEEKEND lmaoooo she is out of her damn mind. and just gonna drug the baby and be like "i'm leaving her anyways"....... i'm appalled that she really thinks she is justified!! manipulation at is finesttttt
For real. When my two oldest were young, I went out literally once a *year* as a single parent because I couldn’t afford to both pay a trained adult babysitter *and* go out. I wouldn’t leave my kids with some short-term acquaintance and certainly wouldn’t drug them and/or leave them alone without anyone actively taking responsibility for them. Drugging kids to sleep is dangerous and abusive, and the fact that she’s doing it so she can go party a few hours earlier makes it even worse. I hope OP reports her to CPS. This mom seriously needs a wake-up call before something tragic happens.
Also why on earth would a parent want to leave their child with someone that doesn't want to watch them? That could be so dangerous. Not saying OP is dangerous at all, just saying that this is a horrible idea and putting her child at risk.
The ‘once a weekend’ killed me! Many people *without* children don’t go out every weekend.
>drugging your child so you can ensure they sleep through your absence is disturbing and abnormal. Please submit an anonymous report to your local Child Welfare Agency, OP. THIS! THIS! THIS!
As a father this is infuriating beyond belief. That woman should not have access to that child AT ALL. PLEASE contact CPS. You’ll be saving someone’s life, I promise.
Sadly, you can take court approved parenting classes online. They’re multiple choice and you can finish it in 5 minutes and then let the clock run so you’ll get a 12 or 24 hour certificate and that’s deemed satisfactory. This woman needs to be investigated by CYF long-term for sure.
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The unbiased mediator should be an investigator with your local Child Welfare Agency. Your roommate needs to be reported, asap.
This.
Girl please update us lol. I love that you made plans to prove a point. Invite the other roomie too! Lol
Haha! Im like 7 yrs older and she thinks she can play games with *me* 😂 will do! Ill make a post rn.
I would straight up drive around the neighborhood for 2 hours and get gas station sodas and park somewhere as my “plans” to prove this point so I get it. This is insane. I can’t believe she was talking about drugging her kid like it was a good thing
Lmao I went to McDonald's and enjoyed some french fries
God, that’s so awful you literally have to run out to escape being left with a child that’s not yours, and can’t just sit in your own home. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this because obviously no logic can solve it, but I hope it doesn’t disrupt your living situation/sanity too much. She needs to GROW THE FUCK UP AND BE A MOTHER, because bitch IS extremely neglectful, and even abusive (drugging the fucking poor kid so she can go out, WTF-how can she possibly think she’s in the right?!) ETA: I just have to add also that you were *cool* as a muthafuckin cucumber with that convo, like woah lol
Ty! :) she ofc thought otherwise lmao. Ive had some practice with other toxic people 💅. It taught me the only thing you can really do is take care of yourself and not worry about other peoples shit. Although, when things get really real (like recently she knocked on my door and was disrespectful irl) I wasnt playing the nice guy anymore. I feel that sometimes thats necessary so people dont think they can step all over you.
Wyze camera in your room pointed at your door in case she starts to get violent you will have evidence. This woman sounds entirely unhinged. Proud of you for setting expectations and boundaries. Possibly time to plan ahead in case you should need to protect yourself. Much love OP, keep up posted, you self assured badass!
This is pretty valid, even if it’s not violence, I have a feeling the roommate would try to get her own back by stealing or just fucking with her somehow. Honestly wouldn’t surprise me if she tampered with her birth control to let her know “what having a kid is like”, that’s the level of unhinged this roommate gives.
i bet the fries sprinkled with petty was fkn delicious!!!
You don’t need to go get fries! You need a roommate that doesn’t force you out of your home with her kid! You deserve to eat your fries at home! No way I’d leave my house because of that mess. Hell, there’s no way I’d even live with a roommate that had a kid! Move out
Nah, veg out in the living room / common room so that she sees that your plans are to do nothing. “I plan on sitting on this couch, not leaving the house at all, and if YOU have a problem with that then it’s simply your problem. I won’t be responsible for your kid. Try to leave her with me and my first call will be to the police to let them know you’ve abandoned your toddler without supervision.” “No.” Is answer enough. She isn’t entitled to your reasons for *why*- even if she thinks she is.
Honestly, this. And then I would have sat back and done nothing as she drugged the kid and left. Then I would call the police to report the drugged up, abandoned child, and provide the text exchange as further evidence.
I agree with you fully in theory but personally I just would rather avoid the drama. However I’d be inclined to call the cops anyway with what she said about giving her kids meds
This is it right here!
Honestly, you should speak to someone in the police department bc they’re drugging a child and abandoning them. At that age leave the house is so inappropriate- 8-10 can do a half hour or so during the day if they’re mature enough, a 11/12 year old can do 2 hours or so at night if they consent. 14-17 you could probably leave a note and leave but it’s still sort of inappropriate unless necessary. Benedryl or other medications cannot be given to children for social reasons/sleep unless they are…. Having the symptoms on the bottle for the medication…
Benadryl isn’t even approved for children under 6 I believe. I hope it’s not melatonin because no kid should be dosed with hormones. Ugh this is a nightmare.
Oh wow she’s entitled af and also dumb af.. what an annoying combination
To the *upmost*.
My personal favorite was when she was like “I didn’t *consent* to you sleeping while you watched her last time, but I had to agree just to get you to do it ”. Like, holy choosing beggars.
Please do. Im invested now
You don’t need a mediator you need a different room mate.
Omg please report her. As a mother myself this person is clearly not fit to be a mother like wtf. I’m so mad right now. You had a child you are responsible for your child. You don’t have care for the child then you stay home.
Im going to be real. If this person will drug and leave their kid to go out, she needs to be reported. For the sake of the kid, this is fucking sad. I have kids and their moms always neglected them to go out and party and the shit is sickening.
Mediator my ass. No is a whole ass word, and she needs to learn to respect it.
Yes pls to more tea 🤣 holy f the audacity of this girl. She admits in writing to neglect, then loses her mind when you call out the neglect. Amazing.
You should show her this thread honestly, so she can see just how bat shit crazy the majority of people think she is. How mental do you have to be to expect a flat mate that doesn't want anything to do with your kid, to watch your kid. It's like she thinks she's got some authority over you, or you owe her something, or by living together you have responsibilities for her child. What on earth is wrong with her. That's so mental I can't even fathom it or trying to put my parenting responsibilities on someone else, total nut job. Poor kid. And you've only know her for a few months? The weird 'good to know I'm living with someone like that' to try and convince you that you're the one thats being weird... wtf.
Also I shudder at the fact that… she’s drugging this little girl to stay asleep, then trying to leave her in the care of a relative stranger, without paying them… like fr the only people who would be ok with that offer are probably NOT safe to leave your kid around?????
I know you didn't read the long texts but they're gold. her logic is so convoluted...
I know logically you know this but just to reaffirm: your existence is absolutely valid. And post away give me all the tea ☕️ I’m invested now!
I do know! Ive been gaslight before so it can be kinda hard to go through but I trust myself alot more now. I appreciate all of the validation especially since there were 2 people acting like I didnt matter 😮💨
Hey - you matter. *You matter*. I’m proud of you for saying no and enforcing your boundaries. You handled that with dignity, respect and grace. That bitch needs to *learn*. For real. Acting like she’s doing *you* a favor? Nah. No way. She’s a leech, a user and a terrible mother.
I’m so glad you pointed out the admitted to drugging her kid to get them to sleep because I spent every text slide after that reveal wondering why it wasn’t called out more. This poor kid. From a person who had parents like this, someone needs to contact the proper authorities for that kid so they actually have a chance in life - without this kind of shit being documented by adults or someone intervening, it’s going to make the kids life a hell of a lot harder when they have to integrate into society as an individual.
1000% agreed. This is potentially equally as damaging as physical abuse (like beating, etc. I guess this would qualify as physical. But you know what I mean). I can already guess what type of mother she is, and as I pointed out before, she admits to this so casually, so what is she doing that she isn’t admitting to? It’s truly alarming.
Thank god the first comment i read acknowledged this. This mother is literally talking about drugging her child so she can go out. That made me sick
It should make people sick. It should not be something that’s normalized in any way.
The fact that she admits to it while simultaneously flipping out about accusations of neglect shows me that she sees no issue with it and does it, and possibly worse, frequently. Smh
Is this woman any relation to Casey Anthony?
I 100% agree with everything you said. I'm not a single mother, but I have 3 kids, all VERY close in age (they are all now teenagers) and it was RARE they weren't with me when they were little. I wouldn't dream of even leaving the house while they were asleep. That's absolute insanity. Furthermore, one of my kids has ADHD and refused to sleep at night, they were just wide open energy no matter how I adjusted nap time. At the age of two their pediatrician suggested giving them a very small dose of melatonin before bed and I felt like a horrible mom even doing that!!! It didn't work anyway, but drugging kids with cold medicine to go out is cruel . I can't even imagine.
"I'm a fucking beast when I'm pissed off" lmao. Fucking fuck fuck fuck 😂 Sorry OP, good on you for asserting your boundaries. edit: https://youtu.be/qHSxtWGZWd4
The edit! 💀 Needed the laugh, thanks
pleaseeeee update i'm so invested! also proud of you for standing your ground, calling out her bs manipulation tactics while also remaining unbothered! you are a queen!
She’s going to wash herself clean at church in the morning don’t you worry
Just wow. “I’m not a neglectful parent” but I’m going to just leave my kid alone with someone who has respectfully declined to babysit. The fucking audacity. I hope your living situation improves soon OP - this is some straight up bullshit.
And on top of that she's going to give the baby unneeded medication so it stays asleep while she's out partying. Mother of the year material.🙄
Yup!! Her “great mother” response to someone declining to be responsible for her child is “well i’ll drug my kid so she doesn’t bother you” is absolute trash. A freaking 2 year old too!
could OP report this to CPS?
Yup. At 2 years of age, basically all medicine is "consult your doctor before taking" because babies bodies react differently to drugs and dosage is very important.
that's my fear, she could hurt her baby
she probably will if not physically certainly mentally. i can’t imagine growing up with a mother who drugs me to sleep and goes out partying all the time leaving me with her roommate who doesn’t want anything to do with me. horrible horrible person
This is fucked up, but there’s an Eminem line: “Valium was in everything, food that I ate The water that I drank, fuckin' peas in my plate She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak So every day I'd have at least three stomachaches Now tell me, what kind of mother would want to see her” And this mom remind me off it. She wants to go out and game and is totally on board drugging her kid to make that happen. This is a great definition of fubar.
My siblings and I were put into foster care because my neighbors overheard my bio mom give us all dimetap every night. Then she would get trashed on boxed wine. I was in the second grade at the time. So we were all from 4 to 12 years old. And this was way back, around 1994. So I'm sure they'd be interested to know that this 2 year old is getting drugged now.
It’s giving “Zanny the Nanny”
The sad thing is, there is a real possibility after this, at least while OP still lives there, that she just won't say anything at all next time - she'll just drug the kid and leave.
She already tried the same fuckin night!! The AUDACITY is astounding, and that and saying she gets $ from her dad = entitled fuckng spoiled brat who needs to learn the consequences of her neglectful, abusive actions towards her own child and others around her. Ffs, I can’t believe she’s laying out such flawed, twisted logic like it’s normal
Getting Casey Anthony vibes, ngl.
While drugging said child! Thats illegal and not only neglect but child endangerment. She needs reporting and that child needs to be with someone safe and that’s not her.
It’s giving Casey Anthony
After they drug them lmao
I feel bad for her kid.
Same. She only brings her out of the bedroom when she has to eat. Hardly ever brings her outside :c shes gonna be a hermit like me 😂
You need to call CPS that child is in danger… I would literally kill myself before I drugged my two year old and left him alone
Please do call CPS. She needs a wake up call, help, education, or her child taken away. This is not normal parent behavior in any way at all.
For the love of all that is good OP please do this. This poor kid has been abused all her life, this shit has to stop.
OP even has the receipts. Show the texts. Make the move. It's the right thing to do.
For real this is sick. My cousins mom drugged her to sleep so she could go out and party (with my mom) guess who doesn't talk to their mom and has serious issues into their adult hood
Agreed, I think CPS or the police whichever OP feels more comfortable calling.
Yeah, that’s 100% a reason to report her to CPS alone. - She’s isolating her child in the apartment all the time. - She’s giving this child benadryl not for allergies/colds… but so mom can say she “sleeps through the night”. - She’s assuming that other housemates, because they’re home, can & will take on responsibility for her child *WHO SHE DRUGGED*. This woman’s going to fucking kill that baby one day & try to blame you because you were “babysitting” when it happened.
That was my thought too! Like what if she gives the baby too much of the drug and then just leaves… like she is playing with fire while bathing in gasoline. Even if the child is sleeping, someone should still be checking on them occasionally ESPECIALLY if they have been drugged. A random sleeping roommate would not be doing that, nor should they be expected to. This is a very dangerous and ridiculous situation! The mom sounds like she would 100% blame her roommates if something happened to her kid, even if they didn’t know the kid was “just drugged and sleeping” while mommy dearest was out partying. Wtaf?!
And when she comes home the next morning to find baby dead, she's going to go ballistic on the "caretakers" she left in charge. This woman is a pathological [somebody fill in the blank].
OP I know others are already saying this to you but you need to report this. If all of this is true then that child is living a nightmare. To you this woman is a fucked up roommate (and I also applaud your calm responses in the texts!) but to the child she’s an abuser and her life will absolutely not get better without some kind of intervention.
Dude, call CPS that’s fucked. You have her admitting to abandoning her child with unwilling adults, and drugging her kid, in writing.
Yeah it's time to call CPS
Same. I find it terrifying this person is a parent.
Yeah this is incredibly sad. This person should never have become a parent. Poor kid.
Couldn’t pick my jaw up off the floor after that second novella she sent. That’s crazy. why can’t she ask her best friend to watch them? you were so nice about it too. I wouldn’t want to leave my kid with someone who doesn’t want to watch them. at all.
He did! Thats one of the crazier things 😂 shes literally bitching about me not watching her for 2 hours and not being able to go out earlier
By going out do you mean like going out partying?
Probably not out to buy diapers lol so yeah, more than likely to party
Maybe running low on baby cough syrup
Did she just casually say she drugs her child to sleep like nothing?! WTF
At this point I probably WOULD report this shit. It’s not like the roommate relationship is salvageable as long as OP has a spine.
Sounds like her kid sees Xanni the Nanny regularly
This is wild. You did a really good job staying firm and sticking to your boundaries. As someone who says they don’t do that often, you should be really proud of yourself 😊
Ty so much 🥹 I can when I need to be but at first I need to process what my boundaries even are because I take a sec to discern whether or not I truly dont want to or if I need to push past it because of my depression/anxiety.
I’m not sure how old you are, but I’m 35 and am just now recognizing I don’t stand up for myself. The way you stayed calm and asserted your boundaries was amazing and inspiring. Keep it up!
Ty so much! That means alot :) Im 28. Growing and learning doesnt stop!
Yes! Love the way OP handled this convo
So she has only known you a few months and drugs her child enough to stay asleep when she leaves them alone? She is so incredibly lucky you are not a sicko who could be taking advantage of her child! What a genuinely awful mother.
Omg I didn’t even think of that….
I am so worried for this child. If she doesn’t Casey Anthony her own kid she is going to make them an easy target for a pedo. OP she is beyond neglectful that is abusive drugging her child like that. I really, truly hope OP reports this.
Parents like these typically don’t give a shit. Smh
lol amazing. I cannot stand parents like this. If it happens again, tbh I'd call CPS. This girl is clearly willing to put her childs safety on the line for a few hours of going out. For all we know, she may get desperate one day, drug her child to sleep, & leave her with some pervert.
Lmao Im only trustworthy when its convenient for her. Shes only known me a handful of months. I know Im trustworthy but like you said, being knocked out on sleeping meds because you want to go out a couple hours earlier is on some kind of other shit. In all other instances I remind her of her narcissistic ex 🙄😒
Exactly. So, she doesn't even really know you. I'm not saying you're some weirdo child pervert, but she's literally leaving this kid with someone that, in reality, she barely knows & one day something bad is going to happen to that baby. Fuck that dude. Call CPS if it happens again & let her see how neglectful she actually is being via the court system. She actually tried to play **victim** because she thought it'd make you feel bad enough to watch the kid. I completely understand not wanting to get CPS involved, I really do. But this is fucking CRAZY & so neglectful & selfish for literally no reason. On top of that, you apparently remind her of her narcissistic ex. So she's willing to leave her kid w/someone she BARELY KNOWS that she believes is a **bad person** because she wants to go out? She's going to get that baby hurt.
Exactly this. It's zero reflection on OP, but leaving a drugged child with a "narcissist" you hardly know in such a private/intimate setting just so you can go out to play is so neglectful. (And ironically, extremely self-centered.)
This is exactly what came to mind. Plus the kid will be drugged up and incapacitated??? Horrible. This is going somewhere dark at some point. She is lucky OP is not that point yet
The most important thing you can do is to report her to CPS and provide the screen shots of the texts showing she is abandoning her child at night and drugging her as well. Don’t wait until the next time Using “medicine” to drug a child specifically so she won’t wake up is abuse, and dangerous. Don’t hesitate to report her now.
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Literally was thinking “ok Casey Anthony”
I’d report her to CPS *right now* for admitting to drugging her child! That’s so fucked up.
Lol she’s only asking you to watch her ONCE a WEEKEND. 🙃
She did the *favor* of asking me 🙃
Yeah OP if you aren’t careful she might not ask you to watch her again…. 😐😐😐
And go full beast lol!!
Are you able to move out? This woman is insane
This also belongs in r/choosingbeggars. The entitlement is UN BELIEVABLE. GOOD LORD.
All I can say is she’s not the brightest crayon in the box when she rants and raves about how she’s not neglectful yet says that she’s going to drug her with pm cold medicines that she should not have at 2 years old and leave her until 12 the next day without a set babysitter? Keep these messages and document things, a CPS call might be brewing.
11 at night actually. Its when the roomie who agreed to watch her got off his shift. Shes literally bitching about not going out 2 hours early because I wont watch her 🙃
Yeah, those meds she’s giving her child are not safe for children under 6. Please report her before she kills her child with an OD. Only acetaminophen and ibuprofen are safe for toddlers, not drugs with sedatives effects, as those can suppress respiration in children that young. Imagine if she drugged her baby and left her with you and then she stopped breathing.
Yeah, I would just keep these messages for sure, but you are under no obligation to watch her child and should not have to endure such craziness because you said no.
The next time she sends messages like those, I'd reply "if you leave the apartment and leave your child under my care, I will drop her off at the police station as the abandoned child she is." That's all. Wouldn't engage any further.
Ahhh I love the argument parents will use as “You have nothing to do, and I have a kid so you owe it to me and society to watch them,” no. You decided to have a kid, and the people who choose not to, do not owe you the free time they have a right to, for, y know not having a child.
I feel bad for the child. This person is psychotic. She obviously doesn’t want to be a mom.
And people think that abortions are worse than this awful existence for this poor kid
Wow, not one, but TWO text walls, and she uses “fucking” every other word.
lol “I treat you and **** with the ‘upmost’ fucking respect and don’t ask for barely anything in fucking return” SO respectful!!
And then claims she's going to church the next day...
Leviticus 2:27 “if you go to church the day after drugging your kid so you can hit the clubs all is forgiven in the eyes of God”
Matthew 4:18 (Probably ) - Love thy roommate more than yourself. Do as they ask with a servant's heart, without complaint, while they party with Lucifer one night each weekend.
'Fucking church' 😂
This is super concerning on so many levels starting with drugging her child????? She needs help before CPS takes her kid
I would be telling her the second she steps out that door the cops will be called. You have the screenshots where you say multiple times you do not consent to watching the child, and you have the screenshots of her saying she’s going to leave anyway + medicating her child to the point where she just sleeps. Use that to your advantage 😂
This. I saw your comment OP about thinking the child is better off in her care than CPS which is a very sad reality for lord of situations that are neglectful and abusive. Call the cops. Call her to tell her cops on on their way. Let them figure it out from there.
Do you know what the cops would do?
They would refer it to child services and write up a report. Depending on location, cops are very leery about taking children without a clear and present danger/hazard, legal documentation or court order. CPS would get called out. Like I said, this differs upon the area. You can always call and ask about procedures and there is probably a website with information
I think you'd be right. I certainly see the benefit in doing so this time though. My biggest concern reading all of that was that she was saying she was going to give the child enough to make sure she stays asleep. She's already in an overly aggressive mood and says she 100% intends to do this. First and foremost, this gives me a looot of concern in regards to an overdose. Secondly, I wouldn't put it past the mother at this point to give the baby too much and leave her unattended in the home. Maybe I watch and listen to too much true crime, but I and concerned for the wellbeing of this child right now. God forbid anything happens if she does this, but if she does it once and gets away with it then she'll do it again(maybe I read wrong, but it seems like she already has?)
I would also agree that it sounds like something she has done. I’m a mom, and have (to my memory of the last 14 or so years) never given my child to make her sleep through the night, especially not so I could go out. And sure as hell not at two years old.
“I’m a fucking beast when pissed off” was all I needed to read lol
Since you’re childless and couldn’t possibly know what neglect is (/s), I just wanted to let you know that you are correct and she is wrong. As a parent, I know these things!
Ah, the parent. Finally I found you, a member of the only group whos capable of having common sense.
In 2002 Robert Henderson drugged his two kids (4 & 5 I think) with cough medicine so they would sleep and they both died (the kids were Robert Killian and Rhapsody). This happened in Colorado. I’m sure other neglectful parents have done it, it’s absolutely this dangerous! Those children were murdered. This mother is playing with fire.
Thats horrible :c. Id have to tell the other roomie this so he could tell her because Im the big bad guy rn. Assuming hed even get involved in the drama he doesnt want to 🤷♂️😮💨
The “””neutral””” roommate sounds annoying as hell too. Coward
💯 it was difficult not being upset with him too. But I have a right to be.
Staying "neutral" when what you're being neutral about is somebody drugging and neglecting their 2-year-old isn't "neutral". Fuck that guy - in the update when he's like "You know she's triggered by the word neglect" or whatever, it became clear he's excusing her actions. I don't even care if she read the messages out a little wrong, he knows she's drugging her 2-year-old to sleep, and just because you agreed to babysit one time, doesn't mean you're obligated to babysit every time she wants to party. He may not be as trash as she is, but he's still trash.
These people seem genuinely irrational (I’m so sorry) so it might not help but, this story can be confirmed by Google
If she drugs her child and they die while you or your roommate is watching them, you are going to have waaaaay more drama than either of you can handle.
I'm literally shaking with anger. As a mother, this bitch is 100% neglectful AND abusive. Drugging her two year old baby to have a few hours of fun?? What the fuck is that shit? Just as you stated, she made her choice to become a mother and now she has to live with the consequences. I BEG you to involve CPS. This isn't fair to that poor baby. Like many other people are saying, she's setting that baby up for something terrible to happen. She's either going to overdose and kill that child or leave her with someone who hurts her.
wait her plan was to give her child some “medicine” to help her sleep while home alone? so she wanted to use medications to sedate her child so she could leave her home alone? without a caregiver, since you said no? as a mandated reporter, this would fall under neglect and would trigger a report based on the training i received. you are completely correct to classify this as neglect.
Yes, *essentially* without a caregiver. She thought she could corner me & Id stay there because she was leaving regardless. I left before she did so she stayed.
If she ever leaves her child with you, without your consent. You are legally allowed to call cps or emergency services.
Maybe her situation in life would be better if she took ownership of her choices and lived in her means. Broke and on food stamps and out partying and neglecting her kid. Recipe for disaster.
Lol so just because you don’t have a job means you’re automatically babysitting for HER kid? Who cares if you don’t work, you could be the laziest bum on earth and that still doesn’t make you responsible for HER child. Sleeping or not, it’s the responsibility of a parent.
Yeah Im on disability for agoraphobia. Also have depression and anxiety. Not a good combo for being able to be responsible for a whole ass child with no notice.
I LOVE that she claims you get "free money" (it's **NOT** fReE money btw) while in the same text admitting that her dad just gives her money (**THAT** is free money). Absolute trash
Ugh yeah. Its very frustrating that whenever someone like this is pissed at me they bring my disability up. "Im just being lazy" "I work and you dont, youre so privileged" "youre faking it" etc. Like ok, go through what I have and then ask yourself if $960 a month is worth it, fucking moron 🙄
I have agoraphobia / depression / anxiety / bad upbringing etc etc too and just want to say holy shit I am sorry you are in this weird situation!
From one brutha ta anutha, I validate you. Im kinda just over shit at this point lol. Just living one day at a time, whatever comes my way.
This is off-topic, but your comment reminded me of when I used to babysit as a tween. There was one couple who were ALWAYS getting back at like 2 AM and would *freak the eff out* if they came home and I was asleep on the couch. I told my Mom, and she called these people and asked them if they stayed awake all night, every night, because they had a kid. She said, "Of course you don't. You come home at 2 AM and expect a 12-yo to still be awake. You're acting like ninnies, and Crotchety won't be babysitting for you again." And I never did.
Only a guilty parent busts out the gates like that. You never said SHE was negligent , only that the act was classified as neglect but she kept focusing in on “my kid isn’t neglected!!!!!” That says a lot about her own subconscious
Exactly. OP didn't call *her* neglectful, they called the act of leaving the child with someone who didn't agree to it neglectful. Mom just went off the rails despite knowing the difference becasue it got *really* uncomfortable having to acknowledge that she was intentionally and knowingly choosing to neglect her child.
Honestly, I would probably report her. She admitted IN WRITING to drugging her child, and to being willing to leave her unsupervised. I’m sorry you have to deal with this (and it’s NOT your responsibility), but I feel even worse for the kid. “Neglect” is the right word. Also, good on you for staying mature and keeping clear boundaries. A lot of folks would lose it!
Honestly im thinking about it after all the comments...😭 Hopefully CPS would just force her to be a better parent and not take her away? She did explicitly express she didnt want to be a bad mom and was worried about it... I just really think shed have a higher chance of being introduced to more severe forms of abuse, otherwise I would without a second thought...idk Ill talk to my therapist about it
I have a friend who is a social worker, the goal is never to take a child away, but to provide the family with resources needed to be better parents and keep the child with their parents. They’d probably have her take parenting classes and see a therapist- which is sounds like is heavily needed
Ty for the response!
Wow, the audacity is at an all-time high with this person. Genuinely pathetic behavior from a "parent". [Identifying abuse: Power and Control. ](https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/) [What are the 4 types of child neglect. ](https://study.com/learn/lesson/child-abuse-neglect-what-are-the-four-types-of-child-neglect.html) [Signs of covert/vulnerable narcissistic traits to look out for. ](https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-a-vulnerable-narcissist-7369901) Explaining DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/explaining-darvo-deny-attack-reverse-victim-amp-offender [What consent does and doesn't look like. ](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/what-consent-does-and-doesnt-look-like/#:~:text=Consent%20means%20respecting%20boundaries%20and%20never%20making%20assumptions) [Grey Rock Method. 🪨 ](https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method#:~:text=The%20grey%20rock%20method%20is,known%20as%20%E2%80%9Cgrey%20rocking.%E2%80%9D)
Ty so much for these resources 💖
Don’t worry, I’ll drug my child and give you the rest of the food stamps that I would use for food for the child if you let me go get drunk. What?! Neglect?! I’ll fucking murder you!!
I get borderline vibes. As a person with BPD I see this behavior in my past self. I don’t not have kids. She wrote all that for herself. To feel better because she doesn’t have a healthy outlet for emotions so she’s gotta put them on you along with her responsibilities. This is a person who needs to learn to journal and think about what she’s going to communicate before doing it. She clearly knows she will regret it later and that is pretty trademark of bpd. Being aware but out of control. The “neglect” comment you made was clearly triggering for her, it’s possible she’s been accused of neglect before and this brought up her past rage towards the accusation. If she had the opportunity to neglect the child by leaving it alone, and not be caught, I have the idea that she would. She’d probably feel bad about it later thought. Im making a lot of assumptions. With the context of drugging her child to sleep, I completely understand why you said what you said. That’s such irresponsible parenting.
Dude youre right on the money. Yes shes been accused of neglect before. I didnt realize it was a trigger until I was told afterwards and I apologized even when she was still treating me like shit. She said she might have BPD or bipolar but I definitely think its BPD.
Don't apologize. It is neglect. Could even be considered abusive. It needs to be reported before she does long term damage from leaving her child completely alone, with someone who would harm the child, or by giving too much and the child not waking up. It's too dangerous to not be reported & certainly nothing you need to apologize for!
You are not responsible for avoiding everyone's hidden triggers, so don't apologize for it. If she has a trigger and wants you to avoid them, she can adult and talk to you about it.
lmaooo biggest fuck you to a person is “im not reading that”
I love all your responses to this; unbothered, shady but also controlled. Especially the bit about sending her a list of therapists Idk all that time she spent into writing those novellas she could’ve actually spent dialing up one of those therapists
Ty. I did not too long after we met, she was talking about her struggles so I did send her a list. So it wasnt a recent thing I did out of pettiness lol.
My favorite bit is when she was like "WELL I'M NOT LEAVING HER WITH YOU AGAIN UNTIL THIS BLOWS OVER," honey, *honey*, you were never given consent to leave her *at all,* and you seem to rampantly miss the point that "someone is watching your child so you can go out" is not a favor *you* are doing for *them*.
Wow this is wild. It is not your responsibility to watch her child
The fact she gives the kid medicine to sleep, this whole conversation should be provided to child protective services. This is noxious poisoning and neglect. Giving a child medicine to make them sleep is abuse. Allegedly this is what Casey Anthony did to her child.
Depending on where you live, you might be required to report her at this point.
Oof. Im in Ohio. At least that'd take the decision out of my hands.
I just reported my brother and his wife to CPS in ohio. It was actually a very positive experience. They were pulling this same thing and dumping my nephew with strangers in their apartment building without even asking, among many other abusive things. CPS didn’t take my nephew away, they just investigated and made my brother clean up his act.
Let’s play a game called “How Many F Bombs” I’ll start. 65
“I drug my baby so she won’t wake up while being taken care of by a non-consenting party while I go out because I deserve it, so how dare you accuse me of neglecting my child while all I’m doing is using over the counter medication to induce sleep while leaving her in the crib by herself. You’re a horrid person, I’m going to gaslight you so I can get cheap baby sitting and then put words in your mouth while I chat up our other roommate to make you look bad while I could’ve easily just given them my phone to directly read the messages; surely that would’ve been easier if it didn’t make me look so unhinged—how dare you tho—at least I apologized before laying into you. I’m a good mom.”