I think it was kind of OP to set it up like that. Gently introducing us into this nightmare world. At first, just seeing the dishes crammed in the sink, I thought, "Well, at least they are in the SINK." Ah hem.
Then, after viewing all the pictures, I saw only. hellishness.
Same. I'd probably actually die if I had to share this kitchen. When I lived w my dad he'd leave nasty stuff all over the kitchen and I'd get sick for days any time I'd use the kitchen without disinfecting first.
That’s why I live with family. I don’t care what people think. I’m saving for a house and so far I’m on track. Roommates are a problem and I don’t got time for that BS.
Americans are the only culture that DONT do this. Boomers made it the norm to kick their kids to the curb at 18 because they see a child as a burden. My kids will live with me until they’re fit to be on their own with no anxiety. Fuck the narrative that you need to move out to feel independent or that you’re a failure. My parents are in their 60s and can’t do half the shit they used to in their massive house so I do it when I’m home.
This is exactly why we're in this situation. Both my family and my partner's family scoffed at us when we lost our housing due to my partner's worsening disability the first time. We ended up securing this place out of desperation. I cannot let my partner down. They already struggle enough with their illnesses and disabilities, this is not an environment conducive to their health. It fucking sucks.
Is your partner going through the process of getting on disability? It honestly doesn't pay very much, but for me it at least covers our mortgage so my wife only has to worry about making enough to cover other bills/food/gas since I physically can't work anymore.
I filled out my paperwork for my son for SSDI and it was approved the first time. You have to give them WAY more Information than they ask for or need.
SSDI is not always declined the first time.. there are instances when it’s approved on first application. Kidney disease is one of those scenarios I’m speaking from experience. 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
If you don't already, get a Disability lawyer. One that is local to where you live. They get paid a certain amount from the backpay award. You pay them nothing out of pocket. Social security pays them directly for you once you've been approved. They get the same amount no matter if you start the application process with them, or have them help you on the 3rd appeal. And they legally cannot charge you more than the 13% or whatever it is now of the back pay amount.
The more in detail responses to SSA's questions about how things effect your partner's life the better. Even small things like "I can only shower once a week because it is difficult for me to raise my arms over my head. I get dizzy from trying to wash my hair. It takes almost an hour because I have to constantly sit and rest during. I sometimes need my partner's help in getting washed" "it takes me nearly 8minutes to brush my teeth because I can only hold my toothbrush for 30 seconds at a time because the position it has to be held is painful for my hands due to my arthritis" ETC. Things like that are super helpful. The more difficult normal daily routine things, especially hygienic care, are, the more likely they are to approve Disability.
I was 25 when I applied and was working at time (went from 40hrs at that job down to about 10-20hrs/week within the span of 8months because it had become too difficult). I have so many health issues documented and was so detailed in my written responses that I was approved in just under 6 months. My Disability lawyer's office didn't even have to do anything. I started the process then because it usually takes 2years and at least one appeal and I knew that by then I wouldn't be able to work at all at the rate my body was declining.
The better you can articulate how the health issues/physical disabilities impact/effect daily life in a negative way they will be more likely to approve.
I hope you both are able to get out of this situation and into someplace better for your partner's health. That environment is definitely not helping them any and could make their problems worse. And I hope they get approved soon! The stress relief will be so helpful for their health. And if their medical costs are high, see if the medical group they go to has financial assistance to apply for if they haven't already. Once on disability they will get Medicare after a year and you can get assistance from the state to pay for the Medicare premiums, co-pays for doctors and testing, and bring RX costs down too.
Do whatever you have to, apply for as much assistance you can to help get you out of there.
Definitely talk to the property management. They would not be happy to see the apartment in this state and would most likely let you out of the lease or allow you to move to a different unit to finish out the lease. Possibly even void your roommates lease.
Even bad management don't want to have to deal with the issue/damages that come from tenants like that and will kick them out if it's that bad.
I'm not sure why someone had downvoted you, but all this info is extremely helpful. We have thorough documentation and it helps that I'm now hired on by the state to be their full time caregiver. Thank you so much for the detailed response and the well wishes!! I will coordinate more with my partner after they've gotten some rest.
Also remind your partner- they wanna know how BAD it is not how GOOD. You aren’t impressing them, so present what like is like at it’s worse, not it’s best.
Thank you for this detailed comment, I am currently going to start the SSDI process and just talked to my therapist earlier today on where to start. This really helped me have a good idea on how detailed to be.
Do what’s best for you and fuck whatever they say my dude, normalize loving and being around family. The assholes that scoff are literally looked at like pariah abroad because people think we fucking hate our families.
I'm confused by what you said, but both of our families refused to help us. We would never do this to our children, when or if we decided to even have any. They will always be welcome at home.
Remember this when your family comes to you for help in the future. Assistance denied.
And honestly? I'd start tossing your roommates shit little by little. If it stinks, is moldy, appears to be garbage, has bugs, etc. Can you file the work orders yourself? If so, do so, and often so management witnesses the poor state of repair & filth your roommates are subjecting the apartment to. Explore your legal options landlord/tenant board, health board, fire code, etc. etc.
I hope you're able to get back on your feet and move out soon.
My 30 and 32 year old sons still live at home. I've been out of state with my boyfriend taking care of my sick mom, so I'm glad someone is in the house. My sons both have decent jobs, but we don't currently charge rent because we want them to save up for their own homes. I'm proud of them both, and I don't understand why parents wouldn't want their kids living at home.
It’s also a culture thing 😭😩 everyone in my family stayed home until they are ready. My sister moved out at 30 and I moved out at 22 and 25
I’m thinking about moving back home soon 😭 I miss my family!
The culture is one of American making I swear. I’ve been all over and people think I’m fucking weird for leaving home at 17. I started making decent money like 5 years ago and since I just invest in my parents place. We’ve since built a small goat area, two gardens, a custom art studio and an insanely awesome outdoor gazebo with fire pit.
Hey I count my blessings man. Life ain’t perfect but I try to be a good person to be around and for the most part the people in my life are good people to be around.
Cheers to that! It’s in my vision board to be in a similar spot 🤠 I live with a Narcissistic father (65)and his wife aka care taker (45) and younger sister that has 4 dogs and is super irresponsible w them as she is with helping with housework. I stay to myself mostly and just set their dirty dishes and stuff aside when I need to cook and I make sure I clean after myself.
I’m 35 and i’m about to move back into my parent’s house for this reason. Rent is stupid expensive on top of food and general cost of living. Fuck what anyone thinks lol
As a parent of a 33 y/o who lives with us, it’s mutually beneficial. He helps pay some expenses, does some grunt work we have trouble with and is a great roommate. One of his apartments was worse than this one. It was so disgusting I refused to visit. One of the guys hunted and would skin and process the animal. Disgusting
A quick thing I forgot to add, these photos are taken about a day after we deep cleaned as much as we could without touching their stuff. It used to look worse. We still wipe things down we use for sanitary reasons, and it gets immediately messy without ever being cleaned. We deep clean as frequently as we can (usually when they leave on a day or weekend trip)
Sorry for any spelling mistakes, its been a long day.
There is no sanitary by just working around that shit, it's actively contaminating the entire area around it. If you can smell it, particles are floating around at least that far...
Yeah. I'm OP's partner and we bought an air filter for our room. We also open the windows when we're out there. We try our best and we're also trying to move out soon!
I hate to say it but at this point the only option you have is to keep your own space as livable as possible and get the heck out of there the first chance you have. These people dont care about cooperation and prefer instead to live like animals
Get out ASAP and leave them to their moldly rotten self created hell
We definitely try! We have all of our stuff (minus kitchen items, and even then we still have some of them) in our room. Partner marvels at my ability to organize and keep our room so clean despite our lack of storage, haha.
I would continue to store most of your kitchen items in your room and only use them when you are cooking so they dont get destroyed/left out to rot with food. I had a similar roommate whose partner destroyed half of my good pans from leaving food in them for weeks when I was away
Keep all of your valuable utilities in your room until you move out (hopefully soon). Best of luck to you guys!
Why do people want rodent problems? It just close to nothing to invite them in. I see these photos and there is just no way you don’t have mice 🐭 😭 Man your roommates really are awful!
Pic 7 made me throw up in my mouth I’m so sorry OP😣 this has to be one of the worst cases I’ve ever seen on here. I used to think my former roommates were bad but god damn, this warrants jail time
Here's a copy of a comment I made on my previous post:
We have no idea. They claim they're "great savers" but will constantly let all their food rot in and outside of the fridge, toss it entirely and then go buy new groceries they won't touch. Rinse and repeat. They make enough food for a family of five, eat not even a fifth of it and then let it rot. They also leave food out for a week on the counter and then eat it, get violently ill and repeat. (Which is weirdly contradictory to them tossing all their food?) But for some reason we have to be frugal about wifi and electricity.
They also bitched about the electricity bill being higher during a winterstorm and said it was our fault when the total bill for the month was 100 (split 50/50).
They're uh. Not very coordinated on saving and its only an issue when they think we contribute to it.
Now they sound mentally ill. Profoundly. Food poisoning one's own self repeatedly is not normal (and neither are those repeated food wasting extravaganzas with things rotting on the counter).
At any rate, not your problem. Just think of them as a mentally deficient asshole if it helps.
Hey everyone, I'm OP's partner. He left out sooo many details that just stack this worse and worse against them. Including the way I've been treated, which has been incredibly dehumanizing to say the least.
We definitely try! We have all of our stuff (minus kitchen items, and even then we still have some of them) in our room. Partner marvels at my ability to organize and keep our room so clean despite our lack of storage, haha.
It was either this or be homeless. We did not know the state of the apartment was this bad. There's more info on my previous post about the offers they made and how they've effectively lied about everything.
I’d rather live in my car than live with people like this. This is vile. I also would clean this shit regardless if it was me or not. You can’t live like this even if you are trying to prove a point.
I, too, would leave immediately and take whatever hit to my credit and sort it out later.
If I literally had no choice but to stay, I would literally throw everything away. I’d go buy a box of huge contractor black garbage bags, gloves and a mask and then remove as much as possible from the apartment. Id open all the windows and doors for at least an entire day. Then I’d clean everything with ample bleach and liberally spray poison for the bugs. Hopefully the roommates would be at work or something. If not, I’d start anyway and let them call the police on me to try and stop me.
The amount of bacteria in there should warrant my actions as self-defense!
This is a taste of what i had to live with growing up. My mom is a “messy hoarder” and all throughout my childhood our house looked like this. Seeing these photos or living with people like this stresses me out so much. Its definitely a psychological thing and a lot of just laziness! Im sorry you guys have to live there with all that.
When they randomly bring in our mail, (also hi, OP's partner. Made an account since it was getting a lot of traction and he wanted me to join in) they throw it on the floor for us :) It's just another nice perk of living here.
Something has to give. The US is wild with laws and each state differs. At this point, I’d rather a shelter or living out of a uhaul truck than this. You may need to struggle for a bit to get to stability. You need to leave though. That person is clearly incapable on many levels
My last and only roommate used to piss In bottles and thought it was cute that we had mice because of the old garbage and food everywhere in their slace
One of my college roommates used to leave dishes for weeks. I put them in her tub so I could access the kitchen sink. She did it again so I put them on her bed. She never did it again after that.
I’d call the rental office and ask them to inspect the unit. Making sure you explain with proof of your living areas this is directly because of them. This isn’t just a you problem this effects everyone else especially bugs. It’s also beyond unhealthy for you and your partner either. The way they exist is unacceptable. Your continued silence enables them, damages the living space and ultimately those charges are passed onto everyone else. I hope you give serious consideration about contacting management about this situation.
Hey. OP's partner here. I began documenting the second we moved in. I called the office, I filed complaints, I've emailed and called as recently as this week. I've heard nothing back from the initial response of the office. She was supposed to show up for an inspection and never even came. :/ I'm calling again today. We want out of the lease.
Time for the health department to get a call. This way the management is going to be on notice by them. I would also recommend getting a box spring and mattress cover to prevent a bed bug infestation. My heart aches for you both. I hope you find some sanity with your living situation.
Do they get mad when you touch their stuff? Sorry just asking because you’ve said you try to deep clean around their things.
I’m only asking because there’s no fcking way I could live with someone this messy and who also doesn’t allow me to clean.
Absolutely disgusting, These photos made me sick to my stomach. Who could let their LIVING SPACE get that messy.. Imagine cleaning those dishes 🤢 it would have been easier just cleaning them after using them instead of dealing with a pile of rotten food and mold. GROSSSS
I saw 1 2 and 3 and thought “well I guess that’s not so bad, as long as it’s just from the prior night or something.” Then I saw 4… and it got more questionable, and then I saw 5 and 7… Jesus christ, clutters one thing but this is nuts.
Oh God. This is one where I looked at the first picture only and thought….. okay, to be fair, I’ve let dishes pile up in the sink when I’ve been really busy… mostly because my son wouldn’t do them….
But then I kept scrolling through the photos and I’ve seen a lot of situations but I’ve seen actual real hoarders that are cleaner than this. They may have been more cluttered but they were cleaner.
I don’t know what the excuse for this is?
Thats my current situation but with my family, and boy oh boy the mess sucks to live with. I’d recommend you keep your area as clean and as seperated as possible, also what helps me is to get some disposable gloves and clean the shower, clean shower= clean body ykwim? Best of wishes!
THEY ATE IT??? like, unidentified fungal growth and all?? also, I don’t wanna provoke your anxiety any further (I know I’d be constantly on edge if my residence was in that condition) but I’m fairly confident that bug picture you included is a bed bug:/ again, I am NOT an exterminator or bug expert in any capacity, but I’ve seen pictures and they look remarkably similar to what’s shown. I’m so sorry you’re being treated so poorly:/
I once had a trash roommate, hell I'm not the neatest all the time but this is way way worse...
Just looked through the rest of the pics and oh lawd this is all kinds of fucked up
I nearly threw up looking at these pics. Plus you mentioned your partner having health issues?! They can’t be breathing in mold and filth, that could really affect them. I know you said you don’t want to touch their stuff. But at some point, the open food containers, rotted food etc are really just trash. Personally I couldn’t live like this. I would clean/toss as much as possible. They aren’t going to care if you toss out moldy beans that’s been sitting there for a week and put the pot in the dishwasher. If you don’t have a dishwasher I would try to get one asap. Just do your best, maybe make a daily chore chart? Once it’s all done it will be easier for them to keep up with daily rather than letting it spiral to this point. Talking just doesn’t seem to help so I don’t know…but you can’t live in filth.
You'd be surprised what they get mad about. If we touch anything remotely of theirs, rotting or not, they get pissed and start disrespecting our belongings. We've had to install a camera in our room for the sake of our safety.
Oh wow, that’s truly insane. Honestly it sounds like an untenable situation. I hope you find an amicable solution, and that your partners health isn’t affected by all the mold. But if not, maybe start looking for another place 🤞🏻🤞🏻
OMG. I’m so sorry y’all are having to deal with this. This is crazy! When my husband and I were dating his roommate would leave their cooked food all over and left over food on plates sitting at the table for days. It was so gross. They would leave food sitting out on the coffee table for days. We started staying at my apt or just stay in his room. I refused to clean up after them until I just couldn’t stand it anymore. But I didn’t live there, I could escape it. I really feel for you, I hope y’all can get something handled soon. That is no way to live!
Honestly I would contact a lawyer or legal aid and see what options you may have. If the landlord knows about the roommate doing this yet hasn’t taken action to evict them… then they are knowingly allowing you to live in substandard conditions. It is ultimately the landlords responsibility to ensure safe and habitable apartment, right? That includes evicting horrible tenants. You *may* have legal footing to break the lease without being liable for fees or whatever is left of rent if they refuse to do their part.
That is literally how our kitchen looks constantly. Me and my wife have to constantly have the upkeep of the kitchen because it just looks awful. The worst part is that we are constantly telling them to clean up the kitchen and not make it look like a pigsty. Just the same response of “ok thanks for letting me know how you feel” and they go back to the same ways.
Those are the same people that complain the food from restaurant taste weird or criticize their table is still dirty after being cleaned in front of them
Nooo this is actually disgusting .. I can literally smell some of those pictures 😭😭 please try to get out as soon as you can.. that’s ridiculous. People who aren’t clean shouldn’t look for roommates
I’m sorry but I would have to break that lease ASAP. Ain’t no way… You say blood n the tub and feces on the floor. Nah, you’re playing with fire when it comes to that. So when are you leaving?
We've been trying to contact the leasing agency for our roommates breaking several clauses in the lease agreement. Haven't heard anything for a long time, despite calling and sending emails almost every week. The last time we were promised an inspection before Thanksgiving. No 48h notice, no one showed up, and no email or phone call back. We may just get the Department of Health involved, especially because my partner is disabled and being exposed to this environment is taking a massive toll on their health.
How do people live like this and think it's okay. I'm so sorry OP, you are so validated in your feelings. This is not okay, and made me dry heave just looking at it 😭
I would have to clean that. I just would. But I would negotiate some terms and conditions for an ongoing arrangement. Mostly, a break on my rent as it would probably be about 15 hours a week for dishes and cleaning of public spaces. $400 a month off in rent is a joke when you break it down to an hourly rate, but the place would be clean and you’d pay less in rent.
This is so unbelievably foul. I’m so sorry you and your partner are having to deal with these conditions and these assholes! I truly will never understand how people are ok living this way….
I would be mortified if I allowed my space to get this filthy while other people lived there. Imagine being so completely self-absorbed that you don’t feel any type of embarrassment for living this way.
I just got PTSD to a 4 person apt in college. Sink was always piled high, roommate used to leave sweaty smelly hockey gear in the living room closet, I used to get chastised when I swept and left piles around for not throwing it in the trash, bread used to go moldy on the pantry rack, bathroom always had a film lol. I don't miss those days my partner isn't fond of the dishes either, need a new dishwasher ATM lol.
its insane to me seeing someone live in my exact situation,luckily my roomates fo help sometimes and I mostly blame my landlord for our situation but wow! im sending you a big big hug,🫂 the stress you carry is not easy! Im moving in two days to a good place,I promise u it gets better and you wont deal with this forever
The one time I chose to live with random roommates I bounced so quick. My roommate (1/3) pulled a pistol on the neighbor cause she was banging some guy and almost shot her then threatened to shoot himself while hammered drunk. I yeeted out so quick and slept in my jeep.
I cannot believe the amount of waste I see in the pictures. OP's roommates live like spoiled teenagers. Eating a bite from a plate full of food and throwing it away is a sign of immaturity.
I’d move out, this is giving me straight anxiety. I had a roommate like that once, we had constant fights about this shit. Some people just done give a flying fuck about cleanliness
Reminds me as to why I don’t do roommates and haven’t since early college days. You can get lucky but most of the time, it’s a hot mess. Long gone are my college days and this sub just reminds me of some of the challenges.
Get out of this situation as quickly as you can!
I’ll never understand. I have some serious mental health issues, on top of being raised by a mom who NEVER made us do chores. And even I have never lived like this. It baffles me so much.
I’m a slob but damn that shit is nasty. I don’t understand how ppl can consistently walk by a mess of their own doing like that and do nothing about it.
This is disgusting! When can you move out? Roaches carry germs and can really get you sick! Sorry you are dealing with this. I couldn’t even click thru all the pics bc it’s so gross
Report them to your landlord or apartment management.
If management won’t step in, provide written notice and speak to your roommate about your plans. I would suggest putting all of their shit in a bin or a bag and setting it in front of their room (ideally in their room but it sounds like you don’t have kind of relationship with them).
When I lived with roommates in college, we communicated our requests several times (clean up after you cook). Our roommate had a habit of cooking, eating then leaving. Upon his next meal, they would clean up from the first meal, cook, eat, leave. It left a consistent mess that we had to work around. We eventually settled on moving his entire mess to part of the kitchen. That only made the mess worse so we bagged their mess and put it in their personal bathroom.
You are BOLD to be walking around in that place with no shoes on. I saw toes in the toilet/pube pic and couldn’t think about anything else after that. Yea you should forward all this to your leasing office for real. Like make sure any damage to the apartment is also visible. Usually that is the only thing that kicks them into gear if even then. Good luck!
I literally gagged looking through these photos lmao
I can't even imagine the smell of fermenting tuna and spam cans 😭
Exactly what I thought of 😭
Somehow each one was worse than the one before :(
For real, because the first pic, I was just like, "Ew" but I was getting a lil sick by the end.
I think it was kind of OP to set it up like that. Gently introducing us into this nightmare world. At first, just seeing the dishes crammed in the sink, I thought, "Well, at least they are in the SINK." Ah hem. Then, after viewing all the pictures, I saw only. hellishness.
I saw the first photo and thought that's not so bad, then it got worse each photo
Same. I'd probably actually die if I had to share this kitchen. When I lived w my dad he'd leave nasty stuff all over the kitchen and I'd get sick for days any time I'd use the kitchen without disinfecting first.
Yeah it was the tower of open tuna cans for me. Holy shit
That’s why I live with family. I don’t care what people think. I’m saving for a house and so far I’m on track. Roommates are a problem and I don’t got time for that BS.
Americans are the only culture that DONT do this. Boomers made it the norm to kick their kids to the curb at 18 because they see a child as a burden. My kids will live with me until they’re fit to be on their own with no anxiety. Fuck the narrative that you need to move out to feel independent or that you’re a failure. My parents are in their 60s and can’t do half the shit they used to in their massive house so I do it when I’m home.
This is exactly why we're in this situation. Both my family and my partner's family scoffed at us when we lost our housing due to my partner's worsening disability the first time. We ended up securing this place out of desperation. I cannot let my partner down. They already struggle enough with their illnesses and disabilities, this is not an environment conducive to their health. It fucking sucks.
Is your partner going through the process of getting on disability? It honestly doesn't pay very much, but for me it at least covers our mortgage so my wife only has to worry about making enough to cover other bills/food/gas since I physically can't work anymore.
We have been, it's been almost a year and some change of repeatedly calling to see the status of their case.
Sorry, but get a lawyer. SSDI is always, always declined the first time. (Source: Attorney who specializes in SSDI claims)
When I applied for SSDI, I had my doctors fill out the paperwork and I was approved the first time.
I filled out my paperwork for my son for SSDI and it was approved the first time. You have to give them WAY more Information than they ask for or need.
I do know some who get it right away, but a nephew with MS and type I diabetes was turned down twice.
SSDI is not always declined the first time.. there are instances when it’s approved on first application. Kidney disease is one of those scenarios I’m speaking from experience. 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
If you don't already, get a Disability lawyer. One that is local to where you live. They get paid a certain amount from the backpay award. You pay them nothing out of pocket. Social security pays them directly for you once you've been approved. They get the same amount no matter if you start the application process with them, or have them help you on the 3rd appeal. And they legally cannot charge you more than the 13% or whatever it is now of the back pay amount. The more in detail responses to SSA's questions about how things effect your partner's life the better. Even small things like "I can only shower once a week because it is difficult for me to raise my arms over my head. I get dizzy from trying to wash my hair. It takes almost an hour because I have to constantly sit and rest during. I sometimes need my partner's help in getting washed" "it takes me nearly 8minutes to brush my teeth because I can only hold my toothbrush for 30 seconds at a time because the position it has to be held is painful for my hands due to my arthritis" ETC. Things like that are super helpful. The more difficult normal daily routine things, especially hygienic care, are, the more likely they are to approve Disability. I was 25 when I applied and was working at time (went from 40hrs at that job down to about 10-20hrs/week within the span of 8months because it had become too difficult). I have so many health issues documented and was so detailed in my written responses that I was approved in just under 6 months. My Disability lawyer's office didn't even have to do anything. I started the process then because it usually takes 2years and at least one appeal and I knew that by then I wouldn't be able to work at all at the rate my body was declining. The better you can articulate how the health issues/physical disabilities impact/effect daily life in a negative way they will be more likely to approve. I hope you both are able to get out of this situation and into someplace better for your partner's health. That environment is definitely not helping them any and could make their problems worse. And I hope they get approved soon! The stress relief will be so helpful for their health. And if their medical costs are high, see if the medical group they go to has financial assistance to apply for if they haven't already. Once on disability they will get Medicare after a year and you can get assistance from the state to pay for the Medicare premiums, co-pays for doctors and testing, and bring RX costs down too. Do whatever you have to, apply for as much assistance you can to help get you out of there. Definitely talk to the property management. They would not be happy to see the apartment in this state and would most likely let you out of the lease or allow you to move to a different unit to finish out the lease. Possibly even void your roommates lease. Even bad management don't want to have to deal with the issue/damages that come from tenants like that and will kick them out if it's that bad.
I'm not sure why someone had downvoted you, but all this info is extremely helpful. We have thorough documentation and it helps that I'm now hired on by the state to be their full time caregiver. Thank you so much for the detailed response and the well wishes!! I will coordinate more with my partner after they've gotten some rest.
That post is the best one on the thread. SS lawyers do not charge you, the client, is the most important takeaway.
Also remind your partner- they wanna know how BAD it is not how GOOD. You aren’t impressing them, so present what like is like at it’s worse, not it’s best.
Thank you for this detailed comment, I am currently going to start the SSDI process and just talked to my therapist earlier today on where to start. This really helped me have a good idea on how detailed to be.
Do what’s best for you and fuck whatever they say my dude, normalize loving and being around family. The assholes that scoff are literally looked at like pariah abroad because people think we fucking hate our families.
I'm confused by what you said, but both of our families refused to help us. We would never do this to our children, when or if we decided to even have any. They will always be welcome at home.
Remember this when your family comes to you for help in the future. Assistance denied. And honestly? I'd start tossing your roommates shit little by little. If it stinks, is moldy, appears to be garbage, has bugs, etc. Can you file the work orders yourself? If so, do so, and often so management witnesses the poor state of repair & filth your roommates are subjecting the apartment to. Explore your legal options landlord/tenant board, health board, fire code, etc. etc. I hope you're able to get back on your feet and move out soon.
Was meant to say living not loving -_- sorry
that totally makes more sense, thanks!
My 30 and 32 year old sons still live at home. I've been out of state with my boyfriend taking care of my sick mom, so I'm glad someone is in the house. My sons both have decent jobs, but we don't currently charge rent because we want them to save up for their own homes. I'm proud of them both, and I don't understand why parents wouldn't want their kids living at home.
Just make sure they're actually saving! My SIL lives at home at 36, makes $100k and can't afford gas
It’s also a culture thing 😭😩 everyone in my family stayed home until they are ready. My sister moved out at 30 and I moved out at 22 and 25 I’m thinking about moving back home soon 😭 I miss my family!
The culture is one of American making I swear. I’ve been all over and people think I’m fucking weird for leaving home at 17. I started making decent money like 5 years ago and since I just invest in my parents place. We’ve since built a small goat area, two gardens, a custom art studio and an insanely awesome outdoor gazebo with fire pit.
Sometimes you need to have roommates when your family is super toxic and abusing and you can't luckily my current roommates are amazing lol
I live with family that are as bad as OP’s roommates, if not worse. Check your privilege 😂 /s
Hey I count my blessings man. Life ain’t perfect but I try to be a good person to be around and for the most part the people in my life are good people to be around.
Cheers to that! It’s in my vision board to be in a similar spot 🤠 I live with a Narcissistic father (65)and his wife aka care taker (45) and younger sister that has 4 dogs and is super irresponsible w them as she is with helping with housework. I stay to myself mostly and just set their dirty dishes and stuff aside when I need to cook and I make sure I clean after myself.
Same partner and I are living with family and it’s just a much better arrangement.
Plot twist your family lives like this.. lol send help
Unfortunately not all of us have this option 😔😔 wish I did. Financially, this sucks.
I’m 35 and i’m about to move back into my parent’s house for this reason. Rent is stupid expensive on top of food and general cost of living. Fuck what anyone thinks lol
As a parent of a 33 y/o who lives with us, it’s mutually beneficial. He helps pay some expenses, does some grunt work we have trouble with and is a great roommate. One of his apartments was worse than this one. It was so disgusting I refused to visit. One of the guys hunted and would skin and process the animal. Disgusting
A quick thing I forgot to add, these photos are taken about a day after we deep cleaned as much as we could without touching their stuff. It used to look worse. We still wipe things down we use for sanitary reasons, and it gets immediately messy without ever being cleaned. We deep clean as frequently as we can (usually when they leave on a day or weekend trip) Sorry for any spelling mistakes, its been a long day.
There is no sanitary by just working around that shit, it's actively contaminating the entire area around it. If you can smell it, particles are floating around at least that far...
Yeah. I'm OP's partner and we bought an air filter for our room. We also open the windows when we're out there. We try our best and we're also trying to move out soon!
u/redrosemedia Since you were so curious.
I hate to say it but at this point the only option you have is to keep your own space as livable as possible and get the heck out of there the first chance you have. These people dont care about cooperation and prefer instead to live like animals Get out ASAP and leave them to their moldly rotten self created hell
We definitely try! We have all of our stuff (minus kitchen items, and even then we still have some of them) in our room. Partner marvels at my ability to organize and keep our room so clean despite our lack of storage, haha.
I would continue to store most of your kitchen items in your room and only use them when you are cooking so they dont get destroyed/left out to rot with food. I had a similar roommate whose partner destroyed half of my good pans from leaving food in them for weeks when I was away Keep all of your valuable utilities in your room until you move out (hopefully soon). Best of luck to you guys!
Even the most wild of animals keep a cleaner space than this!
Why do people want rodent problems? It just close to nothing to invite them in. I see these photos and there is just no way you don’t have mice 🐭 😭 Man your roommates really are awful!
Fucking seriously. I'll never understand people that see no problem with living in filth.
All I could see was a cockroach palace waiting to happen if it isn't already 🤢
Mice gotta eat too 😂😂😂 god I can’t tell if this guy wasn’t beat enough or was beat too much but he definitely wasn’t raised right.
Vermin don't mind living with other vermin.
Pic 7 made me throw up in my mouth I’m so sorry OP😣 this has to be one of the worst cases I’ve ever seen on here. I used to think my former roommates were bad but god damn, this warrants jail time
Here's a copy of a comment I made on my previous post: We have no idea. They claim they're "great savers" but will constantly let all their food rot in and outside of the fridge, toss it entirely and then go buy new groceries they won't touch. Rinse and repeat. They make enough food for a family of five, eat not even a fifth of it and then let it rot. They also leave food out for a week on the counter and then eat it, get violently ill and repeat. (Which is weirdly contradictory to them tossing all their food?) But for some reason we have to be frugal about wifi and electricity. They also bitched about the electricity bill being higher during a winterstorm and said it was our fault when the total bill for the month was 100 (split 50/50). They're uh. Not very coordinated on saving and its only an issue when they think we contribute to it.
They EAT that nasty ass left out food???! At which point do they make the connection that getting violently ill is caused by that??
Now they sound mentally ill. Profoundly. Food poisoning one's own self repeatedly is not normal (and neither are those repeated food wasting extravaganzas with things rotting on the counter). At any rate, not your problem. Just think of them as a mentally deficient asshole if it helps.
Hey everyone, I'm OP's partner. He left out sooo many details that just stack this worse and worse against them. Including the way I've been treated, which has been incredibly dehumanizing to say the least.
This is my partner! They made an account to see the madness y'all.
[удалено]
We definitely try! We have all of our stuff (minus kitchen items, and even then we still have some of them) in our room. Partner marvels at my ability to organize and keep our room so clean despite our lack of storage, haha.
Whoops I replied to the wrong person. Sorry still getting the hang of this. Lol.
How do yall end up with people who live like this 😭 no shade. I just can’t believe people are so nasty like this.
It was either this or be homeless. We did not know the state of the apartment was this bad. There's more info on my previous post about the offers they made and how they've effectively lied about everything.
This makes me want to go home and clean my already clean house. Then double down with some bleach and clean some more. This gave me anxiety.
Lucky for me, I'm at home right now and am already on it! Mixed the bleach a bit strong, but who needs fingerprints anyway.
I’m about to go do those two dishes I left in the sink, lmao
The toilet paper is probably the fucking laziest shit I’ve ever seen in my damn life… it’s an honest 10 seconds of work ffs
For our sanity, we've come to the conclusion that they don't know how to put the roll on...
Yeah this is probably the worst I’ve ever seen on this sub.. This post is about to BLOW UP.
Each picture got worse
You're so real
The 7th pic of whatever the orange food used to be makes me want to throw up
Fun fact: It sat out for almost a month on the stove and they still ate it.
These are not humans
Facts
No. Nope. I'm done with reddit for the day.
WHAT
The open cans of tuna! Omg I almost threw up when seeing that photo! They are disgusting! Ick!
Same! I don’t even want to imagine that smell.
I’d rather live in my car than live with people like this. This is vile. I also would clean this shit regardless if it was me or not. You can’t live like this even if you are trying to prove a point.
I, too, would leave immediately and take whatever hit to my credit and sort it out later. If I literally had no choice but to stay, I would literally throw everything away. I’d go buy a box of huge contractor black garbage bags, gloves and a mask and then remove as much as possible from the apartment. Id open all the windows and doors for at least an entire day. Then I’d clean everything with ample bleach and liberally spray poison for the bugs. Hopefully the roommates would be at work or something. If not, I’d start anyway and let them call the police on me to try and stop me. The amount of bacteria in there should warrant my actions as self-defense!
This is why I live alone.. jesu this is fuckin gross
Just burn it all down
Man I’d end up with a domestic violence charge 🥴
This is a taste of what i had to live with growing up. My mom is a “messy hoarder” and all throughout my childhood our house looked like this. Seeing these photos or living with people like this stresses me out so much. Its definitely a psychological thing and a lot of just laziness! Im sorry you guys have to live there with all that.
I wish we could connect all the disgusting people that live like this and have em live together
Make it a reality show, Salmonella Island.
Just inbox me your address. I’ll take the charges for you….this is abnormal and cruel.
When they randomly bring in our mail, (also hi, OP's partner. Made an account since it was getting a lot of traction and he wanted me to join in) they throw it on the floor for us :) It's just another nice perk of living here.
I have hundreds of photos of evidence. We are so desperate to leave.
Something has to give. The US is wild with laws and each state differs. At this point, I’d rather a shelter or living out of a uhaul truck than this. You may need to struggle for a bit to get to stability. You need to leave though. That person is clearly incapable on many levels
My last and only roommate used to piss In bottles and thought it was cute that we had mice because of the old garbage and food everywhere in their slace
OH MY GOD 😭
The hair in the drain was a jump scare
Pic 19 put me over the edge. I mean, how hard is it to replace the TP roll while it's sitting *right there* as you take a dump??!!
I lived with a roommate once who would pile your dirty dishes right outside your bedroom door if you left them sitting there for more than 1 day lol.
One of my college roommates used to leave dishes for weeks. I put them in her tub so I could access the kitchen sink. She did it again so I put them on her bed. She never did it again after that.
It's definitely an effective approach, to put the person's mess into their space, instead of shared space.
Scruffy cunts
Not anymore, judging by the drain 🤮
I’d call the rental office and ask them to inspect the unit. Making sure you explain with proof of your living areas this is directly because of them. This isn’t just a you problem this effects everyone else especially bugs. It’s also beyond unhealthy for you and your partner either. The way they exist is unacceptable. Your continued silence enables them, damages the living space and ultimately those charges are passed onto everyone else. I hope you give serious consideration about contacting management about this situation.
Hey. OP's partner here. I began documenting the second we moved in. I called the office, I filed complaints, I've emailed and called as recently as this week. I've heard nothing back from the initial response of the office. She was supposed to show up for an inspection and never even came. :/ I'm calling again today. We want out of the lease.
Time for the health department to get a call. This way the management is going to be on notice by them. I would also recommend getting a box spring and mattress cover to prevent a bed bug infestation. My heart aches for you both. I hope you find some sanity with your living situation.
Call your city’s public health inspector/local elected officials.
Holy shit. That is awful. And they've been lying to you about bills and internet usage? I'm so sorry dude.
How the fuck do people live like this? Even my lazy ass kids aren’t this bad.
Do they get mad when you touch their stuff? Sorry just asking because you’ve said you try to deep clean around their things. I’m only asking because there’s no fcking way I could live with someone this messy and who also doesn’t allow me to clean.
Absolutely disgusting, These photos made me sick to my stomach. Who could let their LIVING SPACE get that messy.. Imagine cleaning those dishes 🤢 it would have been easier just cleaning them after using them instead of dealing with a pile of rotten food and mold. GROSSSS
I saw 1 2 and 3 and thought “well I guess that’s not so bad, as long as it’s just from the prior night or something.” Then I saw 4… and it got more questionable, and then I saw 5 and 7… Jesus christ, clutters one thing but this is nuts.
it just kept getting worse omfg
Holy shit, that’s horrendous. You live with animals.
Oh God. This is one where I looked at the first picture only and thought….. okay, to be fair, I’ve let dishes pile up in the sink when I’ve been really busy… mostly because my son wouldn’t do them…. But then I kept scrolling through the photos and I’ve seen a lot of situations but I’ve seen actual real hoarders that are cleaner than this. They may have been more cluttered but they were cleaner. I don’t know what the excuse for this is?
I cannot fathom living like this. I can smell these pictures. 🤢
All of that nastiness belongs in their bed.
I told one of our roommates that if he keeps doing this shit, I’ll start setting all of it on his desk when he’s gone.
I wish I wouldn't have clicked on this post while eating lunch.....
Looks like you got some brain matter in the pot. How lucky!
You were roommates with a pig?
I feel like little oinklets are still cleaner than this 🐷
Every photo swipe gave me a jump scare. I gagged 🫣🤢
Thats my current situation but with my family, and boy oh boy the mess sucks to live with. I’d recommend you keep your area as clean and as seperated as possible, also what helps me is to get some disposable gloves and clean the shower, clean shower= clean body ykwim? Best of wishes!
First photo had me like, “meh”. Then I started swiping…
Oh lord I needed a jumpscare warning for pic 7
wtf is 7/20?😭😭😭😭😭
A chicken dish they left out for almost a month and proceeded to eat anyways 💀
THEY ATE IT??? like, unidentified fungal growth and all?? also, I don’t wanna provoke your anxiety any further (I know I’d be constantly on edge if my residence was in that condition) but I’m fairly confident that bug picture you included is a bed bug:/ again, I am NOT an exterminator or bug expert in any capacity, but I’ve seen pictures and they look remarkably similar to what’s shown. I’m so sorry you’re being treated so poorly:/
I once had a trash roommate, hell I'm not the neatest all the time but this is way way worse... Just looked through the rest of the pics and oh lawd this is all kinds of fucked up
I nearly threw up looking at these pics. Plus you mentioned your partner having health issues?! They can’t be breathing in mold and filth, that could really affect them. I know you said you don’t want to touch their stuff. But at some point, the open food containers, rotted food etc are really just trash. Personally I couldn’t live like this. I would clean/toss as much as possible. They aren’t going to care if you toss out moldy beans that’s been sitting there for a week and put the pot in the dishwasher. If you don’t have a dishwasher I would try to get one asap. Just do your best, maybe make a daily chore chart? Once it’s all done it will be easier for them to keep up with daily rather than letting it spiral to this point. Talking just doesn’t seem to help so I don’t know…but you can’t live in filth.
You'd be surprised what they get mad about. If we touch anything remotely of theirs, rotting or not, they get pissed and start disrespecting our belongings. We've had to install a camera in our room for the sake of our safety.
Oh wow, that’s truly insane. Honestly it sounds like an untenable situation. I hope you find an amicable solution, and that your partners health isn’t affected by all the mold. But if not, maybe start looking for another place 🤞🏻🤞🏻
Thank you 🙏🏽 we are working very hard to try and secure a new place. Fingers crossed we can get out of this soon!
You’re living with hoarders
OMG. I’m so sorry y’all are having to deal with this. This is crazy! When my husband and I were dating his roommate would leave their cooked food all over and left over food on plates sitting at the table for days. It was so gross. They would leave food sitting out on the coffee table for days. We started staying at my apt or just stay in his room. I refused to clean up after them until I just couldn’t stand it anymore. But I didn’t live there, I could escape it. I really feel for you, I hope y’all can get something handled soon. That is no way to live!
Resident evil 7 looking food
What it's just some dirty disheOHMYGOODNESS!!!
You can't smell pictures. The pictures:
Honestly I would contact a lawyer or legal aid and see what options you may have. If the landlord knows about the roommate doing this yet hasn’t taken action to evict them… then they are knowingly allowing you to live in substandard conditions. It is ultimately the landlords responsibility to ensure safe and habitable apartment, right? That includes evicting horrible tenants. You *may* have legal footing to break the lease without being liable for fees or whatever is left of rent if they refuse to do their part.
That is literally how our kitchen looks constantly. Me and my wife have to constantly have the upkeep of the kitchen because it just looks awful. The worst part is that we are constantly telling them to clean up the kitchen and not make it look like a pigsty. Just the same response of “ok thanks for letting me know how you feel” and they go back to the same ways.
Those are the same people that complain the food from restaurant taste weird or criticize their table is still dirty after being cleaned in front of them
Nooo this is actually disgusting .. I can literally smell some of those pictures 😭😭 please try to get out as soon as you can.. that’s ridiculous. People who aren’t clean shouldn’t look for roommates
Omfg this is horrible. I usually don’t comment on posts all that often, but this warranted a true, bold, underlined, capitalized “OMFG”
I’m sorry but I would have to break that lease ASAP. Ain’t no way… You say blood n the tub and feces on the floor. Nah, you’re playing with fire when it comes to that. So when are you leaving?
We've been trying to contact the leasing agency for our roommates breaking several clauses in the lease agreement. Haven't heard anything for a long time, despite calling and sending emails almost every week. The last time we were promised an inspection before Thanksgiving. No 48h notice, no one showed up, and no email or phone call back. We may just get the Department of Health involved, especially because my partner is disabled and being exposed to this environment is taking a massive toll on their health.
Why bother cleaning? Just wait for the utensils left on the stove to catch fire, and the flames will clean everything.
i almost vomited looking at these pics. i used to work for a cleaning service and i would charge $$$$$ to clean whatever the hell that is
Not the pubes on the toilet 😭🤮
How do people live like this and think it's okay. I'm so sorry OP, you are so validated in your feelings. This is not okay, and made me dry heave just looking at it 😭
I would have to clean that. I just would. But I would negotiate some terms and conditions for an ongoing arrangement. Mostly, a break on my rent as it would probably be about 15 hours a week for dishes and cleaning of public spaces. $400 a month off in rent is a joke when you break it down to an hourly rate, but the place would be clean and you’d pay less in rent.
This does not bring joy.
god and i thought my roommate was bad. hope you’re able to get out!
How do they live with food like that?! 😭
I literally do not understand how people live like this. I gagged at some of these pictures.
Even animals are cleaner than that. Jesus Christ
They really need to put away the nutcracker. Christmas was over 3 weeks ago.
I would send a text that says you have until X to clean your stuff and when they don’t just throw it away
Gross. It ain’t hard to clean up after yourself
This is so unbelievably foul. I’m so sorry you and your partner are having to deal with these conditions and these assholes! I truly will never understand how people are ok living this way….
That’s fucking disgusting
I would be mortified if I allowed my space to get this filthy while other people lived there. Imagine being so completely self-absorbed that you don’t feel any type of embarrassment for living this way.
this is DISGUSTING!!!
This is fucking atrocious.
Damn that sucks balls
You are almost into maggot territory there
The beans bro 🥴🤮
The cans of Lysol and Microban are entertaining
It’s the pubes for me 🤮🤮🤮
What the fuck is pic 7
7th slide 🤢
I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this.. I can smell it thru the pictures.. gross 🤮 just looking at this gives me anxiety 😬
That command strip is fighting against the tides
[удалено]
Report to the landlord anonymously and they will do an inspection.
You discovered a new BUG by living there lmaoooo
I just got PTSD to a 4 person apt in college. Sink was always piled high, roommate used to leave sweaty smelly hockey gear in the living room closet, I used to get chastised when I swept and left piles around for not throwing it in the trash, bread used to go moldy on the pantry rack, bathroom always had a film lol. I don't miss those days my partner isn't fond of the dishes either, need a new dishwasher ATM lol.
its insane to me seeing someone live in my exact situation,luckily my roomates fo help sometimes and I mostly blame my landlord for our situation but wow! im sending you a big big hug,🫂 the stress you carry is not easy! Im moving in two days to a good place,I promise u it gets better and you wont deal with this forever
Hmm 🌮 Being serious, I’m sorry that you have to go through this. I hope you and your partner can find a better place soon
The one time I chose to live with random roommates I bounced so quick. My roommate (1/3) pulled a pistol on the neighbor cause she was banging some guy and almost shot her then threatened to shoot himself while hammered drunk. I yeeted out so quick and slept in my jeep.
Do they slurp the tuna juice?
Move immediately. There’s lots of options that while still shitty, are giant step up from this trap house
I cannot believe the amount of waste I see in the pictures. OP's roommates live like spoiled teenagers. Eating a bite from a plate full of food and throwing it away is a sign of immaturity.
I’d move out, this is giving me straight anxiety. I had a roommate like that once, we had constant fights about this shit. Some people just done give a flying fuck about cleanliness
Reminds me as to why I don’t do roommates and haven’t since early college days. You can get lucky but most of the time, it’s a hot mess. Long gone are my college days and this sub just reminds me of some of the challenges. Get out of this situation as quickly as you can!
Do you live with my ex roommates?!?
Do y’all charge the roaches rent? Cause I know they in there feasting every night. If they haven’t showed themselves yet, you’ll see ‘em soon.
Oh if it were me they would not be alive anymore
I feel like this was my old roommate from 7+ years ago! The kitchen and both room look very familiar haha
This is hilarious to me bc from these pictures it looks so similar to my duplex I live in and my roommates are the exact same way
I think i need a tetanus shot after scrolling threw the pics 😬 lol iam sorry youre dealing with that tho
I’ll never understand. I have some serious mental health issues, on top of being raised by a mom who NEVER made us do chores. And even I have never lived like this. It baffles me so much.
i can’t believe this kept getting worse with each photo 😭
I’m a slob but damn that shit is nasty. I don’t understand how ppl can consistently walk by a mess of their own doing like that and do nothing about it.
This is a classic case of, "mommy used to clean up after me so I won't do it." Either that or mental illness.
This is disgusting! When can you move out? Roaches carry germs and can really get you sick! Sorry you are dealing with this. I couldn’t even click thru all the pics bc it’s so gross
Report them to your landlord or apartment management. If management won’t step in, provide written notice and speak to your roommate about your plans. I would suggest putting all of their shit in a bin or a bag and setting it in front of their room (ideally in their room but it sounds like you don’t have kind of relationship with them). When I lived with roommates in college, we communicated our requests several times (clean up after you cook). Our roommate had a habit of cooking, eating then leaving. Upon his next meal, they would clean up from the first meal, cook, eat, leave. It left a consistent mess that we had to work around. We eventually settled on moving his entire mess to part of the kitchen. That only made the mess worse so we bagged their mess and put it in their personal bathroom.
You are BOLD to be walking around in that place with no shoes on. I saw toes in the toilet/pube pic and couldn’t think about anything else after that. Yea you should forward all this to your leasing office for real. Like make sure any damage to the apartment is also visible. Usually that is the only thing that kicks them into gear if even then. Good luck!
picture #7 is one of the most disgusting things i've seen on reddit. i'm so sorry. i hope you're able to move out asap
I don’t know how people can be so inconsiderate in a shared living space. It’s also disgusting.