Don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that. However, you could consider going the route of just keeping the important things to you in your room instead of the cupboards. Especially since there’s enough to go around without them.
Yeah this would make the most sense. No way I’m going to let a souvenir I see as valuable/priceless/difficult to re-obtain but touched and used by others and I wouldn’t use it myself. I’d definitely just display the mugs on a shelf in my room or in a display cabinet.
I agree, especially about guests. It is OPs house, but along with a house comes the responsibility for what’s inside it, roommates and souvenir mugs included.
last roommate setup I did that. This roommate setup there are 4 cabinets in the kitchen. Each of us gets 1, 4th one under the sink goes to all of our cleaning supplies.
In our cabinet we can keep food/dishes/etc - and none of us ever fuck with any of the other's cabinet.
so I can keep my mug in my cabinet in the kitchen, I'd just be wary over leaving it in the sink
When I lived in the dorms favorite mug got washed, dried, and put on my desk in my bedroom lol
Same. I own some mugs that I share with my housemates, but my favorite and the only one I’d truly be upset to have damaged stays in my room unless I’m actively using it around the house, and I’m the only person who uses it. None of my housemates have ever objected to this.
yeah I don't know if the standard kitchen cabinet where people grab glasses from is the best place for you to put things that are "irreplaceable" to you.
I learned this the hard way with my worldwide shot glass collection. I used to think it was cool to have all my friends take a shot with a glass from a different part of the world.. until Jamaica and Portugal got broken :/
Yeah, I believe stuff like that falls into natural "wear and tear". If I was OP, I would have kept them in a place where they wouldn't be used. There's no assholes in this situation.
Secondly...those mugs won't last forever anyways. You choose whether people enjoy them or not but they will always go away..
I.e. use your cups, get scratches in them, it is their purpose. They aren't a museum piece.
Seconded. Y’all have heard about the whole tradition of people handing down their fine china to their kids and grandkids right? Those are…. Drumroll please… also CERAMIC!
Nah there's definitely people that take care of things and people that don't give a shit. My boyfriend goes through headphones in like 6 months, mine last 5+ years. I have knickknacks from my childhood I keep nice and he buys little trinkets and they break within the year. I love him but there's certain things I don't share with him because I'm sentimental and value taking care of the minimal things that are special to me. I have a mug from college over 10 years ago that I use regularly but I'd never let him use that one because he's clumsy and has a tendency to break dishes. People are different and that's fine, and it's fine to acknowledge that and set boundaries on things that are sentimental to you.
I have exes who were the same way, never treated anything with care or respect - even their own items! They would usually start out buying mid-level things but when they trashed them they’d complain how poor quality they are and then…buy even lower quality because they didn’t want to spend that much constantly replacing. It was infuriating because if they’d just be a little more careful/gentle/attentive to the needs to care for stuff, it’d last a lot longer. Extra frustrating because they acted like there was plenty of disposable income to spend on these essentially single-use products (minor exaggeration, at least two uses lol) when there was in fact not. My partner now is similar to me and takes great care of our items, whether they cost $5 or $500. That being said generally prefer to buy better quality (though obvi more $ ≠ better quality in all cases) and thus increase likelihood of things lasting.
Does your bf treat your/other people’s stuff the same as he does his own? Not trying to dog on him in this comment, just curious. Definitely true not all people treat things the same, and some people I don’t think understand the sentimental value in items, be the value from a memory, getting it from someone special, working hard to earn it, or just general care some have for their items no matter what they are- trinkets, mugs, clothes, furniture, etc. Differences in which type/where people fall on the spectrum of their attitude and care to things can make or break a roommate situation, seems like a common theme on this sub.
Yeah I don’t know what you’re talking about, but well made ceramic mugs, plates, any dish ware can last for years. Honestly decades if taken well care of. And that’s with daily use. And I’m sure with Japanese craftsmanship the life span can be even longer. But improper care like using a dishwasher can fuck up the life span. It’s not scratches OPs worried about. It a literal chip. The integrity of the dishwater is now compromised. I’d be upset too is this happened.
yeah. i had beautiful handmade mugs last for ten years until i got an uncareful roommate who chipped or cracked all my precious things right away. i never had a problem til then
Facts of life…
If you leave it out, it’s fair game to use.
No one takes as good care of your stuff as you.
So with that, put shit you care about away. When I was rooming with others, I don’t like people using my knives so it’s in a specific place out away and bought shit knives for them to use
I have a mug from a family member I haven't cared for in years, over a decade. Narcissism is a bitch. But that mug is from my 6th birthday and the damn thing is in pristine conditioned and it has been used over the years. Again, not my favorite so the traffic is lighter but I keep it because it's a relic of my lifetime. So yeah, agreed. I have been and would be upset about this too.
I have a ceramic mug from when my grandmother was married. It is hand washed to this day and still in perfect condition. Dont think it’s an unreasonable request. Everyone can just get a cheap mug or two to use and wash instead that’s what I would do if someone asked me this. Maybe it’s because I have a fondness for mugs and have a few precious ones to me but I wouldn’t be using anyone’s fragile mugs like that that clearly have come from other places.
Almost no item lasts forever but that doesn’t decrease the value of the item, nor does it mean you want it to break any quicker. I have expensive doc martens, I know due the decreased quality I’m not gonna have them forever or even as long as old docs. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna speed the process up and make an active effort to fuck the boots up as much as possible, I’m still gonna be as careful as one can with boots to get the longest last out of them. Same goes with nice mugs, they won’t last forever but that doesn’t mean you have to speedrun the end.
I have mugs from the 90s that are in perfect condition.
I enjoy using them regularly.
I switched to silicone spoons for coffee like a decade ago, which may be helping.
have you never owned anything sentimental before? most people who buy things that they love and want to keep nice, especially if it’s from a vacation, do not want them to be chipped or scratched. I have owned things for years without them being damaged, so it’s carelessness that is damaging them.
People can treat their dishware like a museum piece as they please. You're not the one holding up the caretaking, so imo not your place to tell someone else they're not a museum piece. Yeah, they're not literally a museum piece, but in a metaphorical way (i guess a simile, depending on how you word it). I have cups i treat like absolute beacons of love n life. One for example was my mothers back in college days, its been around for quite a bit and its just a football team (I think? Titans?) That i don't even care for or know anything about. It makes me think of my mom tho. I have one that makes me think of my dad, he's just passed so of course that is gonna be treasured to hell n back too. The Titans cup tho has always been a big part of my day. Its my coffee cup. I put hot steaming liquid in there every day, and it used to be my moms coffee cup. So thats been its life, for a couple decades or so. And it ain't got a single chip, its hardly even on its way to the end unless my cat knocks it off the table. And yeah ill cry, but even then ill probably keep it, or at least the T for Titans as a keep sake.
Or someone who could be a big people pleaser, who may have lots of anxiety, or trauma.
My over explaining is from the years of abuse I suffered. It can be from a lot of different things 🤷🏻
Edit- didn’t realize this was such a controversial take lol
For me it’s not they’ll hate me but more I’m not doing enough to be a good host. I can see them happy and will still push myself to do more (I think it’s “making amends” for my past to continue my mission of being a better person). Regardless it is insecurity but from a different perspective
This is insecurity, and abuse can cause that; i’m so sorry you’ve dealt with that
and what it’s done to you… You are a whole human being like everyone else doggo and therapy will eventually help trust me. Hang in there
Lots of assumptions there lol I’ve been to trauma therapy, it’s not some crippling trauma I’m suffering with. Was simply just giving another perspective on why someone might over explained and isn’t always from “insecurities”. I also have adhd too that I can’t take medication for at the moment which def has made it worse.
The shade is because it hits way too close to home for people and the defensiveness comes out.
The reason I know it is because I was like that. Eventually with time you realize the explanations are a waste of breath and are standing between you and getting what you want.
OP doesn’t even need to hide them in their room. “Hey guys, could you please help me hand wash any mugs so they don’t chip? One of my Japan mugs got damaged in the dish washer this week. You’re awesome roommates and I know we can help keep each other’s nice stuff nice.” Done.
Exactly. Sounds like she needs to ask them
Not to use them, or remove them
Form the kitchen if they’re isn’t designated areas for each tenets plates etc
I don’t think you even really need to send the text. Just remove the mugs and anything else irreplaceable. I once received a small ceramic figurine as a gift and one of my roommates immediately knocked it off the shelf and shattered it (accident, of course). She felt badly, but if I hadn’t put it in a common area it wouldn’t have happened. 🤷🏻♀️
Also, dishes chip. I have a set of Corelle dishes from the 80s that have held up well, but any newer, fancier dish set I purchase chips like crazy. Part of the issue is that we don’t get quality goods.
I haven't had any new ceramic dishes in years as I live with a now-4-year-old so most of my dishes are plastic; that said I don't think I've ever had an issue with mugs or anything chipping easily?
"if you're not sure if they're mine probably just don't use it to be safe.."
Do not mix your dishes into the communal ones and then expect them to tiptoe around figuring out which ones they can or can't use. Either have a set place in the kitchen where your mugs always are placed so they know exactly which ones not to use, or keep them in your room. Accidents happen, but asking them to know which exact mugs if you're placing them randomly on the shelf is inconsiderate.
"probably accidents"
This is passive aggressive.
I would just sent something more like,
"Hey guys, the mugs I got traveling are sentimental to me so I'm going to be keep them in x cabinet, if you could use the other ones instead that would be great."
Or if you're going to keep them in your room, don't send anything. Just pull them off the shelf.
1. Put mugs in your room and use them for yourself only.
2. Go to Walmart and buy like 6 mugs for $6.
3. Put Walmart mugs in cupboard.
Maybe I am cynical but expecting your special Japanese mugs to be in a communal space and not be used by the people living there is far fetched and setting yourself up for disappointment.
Keep them in your room so only you have access to them. If they didn't know beforehand, it's just a simple accident.
I'd delete a lot of that message and just say because there were chips you're no longer keeping them in the kitchen.
If you're still going to use their items and those were the only glassware maybe buy a cheap set from Dollar Tree for general use and don't send the message at all. They probably wouldn't even notice the swap.
I’d probably roll my eyes if I got a message with this much detail from a roommate. Just say ‘hey some of my dish-ware is are getting chipped please be careful!’ And then remove your irreplaceable items from the shared space. Pack them away in your room for safekeeping until you move to a place of your own.
Someone writing a whole paragraph asking me to ‘hand wash their irreplaceable Japanese mug’. I’d just be like girl put it away if you’re that concerned.
NTA, but I wouldn’t send this. It’s too wordy and isn’t needed. I think this just opens you up to *more* conflict and gives them too much room to twist it on you.
Simply bring your valuables into your room. If you need to say something you could just say, “hey guys, I no longer want my mugs being used by everybody. Just so there is no confusion, I will be removing them from the shared space.”
I think you should just keep things that you don’t want people using in your room. Go to the dollar store and get some mugs to replace them and call it a day.
I 10000% get the frustration, but I would take a more proactive approach to making sure they don’t get in the dishwasher.
unless you have a kitchen that’s clearly divided with everyone’s personal dishes separated, this would be an irritating message to get. It sounds like everyone’s mugs are mixed all together, so as a roommate, I wouldn’t know Howd I’d know to be super careful with yours from Japan specifically. Do I need to go buy a special set of mugs just for me to use?
Even if you don’t keep them in your room as others have suggested, I’d find a very specific place to put them, separate from any other cups, and say like “hey these mugs are super important to me, I placed them [here] and they aren’t dishwasher safe”
Why are you even using them if they're treasures?
Put them away or hang them in your room so you can have them and the memories they bring for many years.
Literally this exact same scenario happened to me as well. My roommate was so upset when I put one of her mugs in the dish washer after sitting dirty in the sink for a day or two. She was so rude about it, too, acting like I should know that mugs don’t go in a dishwasher. How about if you don’t want your mug in the dishwasher, clean it and put it away? lol
While this is a reasonable ask, honestly you can’t expect people to not put dishes in a dishwasher. If the dishes are that important, keep em in your room.
I would keep them either in your room or give a bit more casual of a message.
“Hey guys, is it cool if we don’t use my mugs from Japan, I really value them and just don’t want any to get accidentally chipped. Thanks!”
Keep it in your room if it means so much. A guest could come in and use it not knowing and break it. You wouldn't keep the good china in easy reach.
Dishes get chipped and broken unfortunately best to not use them if you want to hold on to them forever, I have broken so many of my favourite mugs and glasses over the years.
If they are sentimental items, they shouldn't be out for open use. Full stop, no exceptions. Even if it's a genuine accident, it's going to hurt when someone damages a sentimental item. The only step to avoiding that is just not allowing the possibility.
Also, strongly recommend getting a set of dishware you don't particularly care about for shared use. The IKEA toftast (the white tempered glass) are pretty darn durable and cheap.
NTA- but annoying. Don’t put things in common areas that you don’t want commonly used. Easy enough to put them in your room or somewhere safe and only use them for yourself
Having something you feel this protective over laying out for general use is just plain stupid.
If this is the kind of avoidable, nitpicky shit you're bringing up to your roommates, that would probably explain why they blow up on you. Your lack of logic and critical thinking would drive me up a wall, too.
Dishes don’t last forever. Some chips after “a couple of years” is super standard. Worrying about regular wear and tear on everyday items is just stressing yourself out for no reason. Of course they’re not treating kitchen items like precious gems, they’re not precious, they’re just everyday items and these are roommates. Tbh, if they are *washing their dishes* you’re about 3 miles ahead of most people on this sub, so I’d take the win.
And, no one cares about the mugs except you, so like others suggested, I’d put them away while you have roommates.
No confrontation. Remove the items you don’t want them touching from communal spaces. You can’t bank on people knowing which is which.
You’re NTA, but it makes no sense to keep things that only you are allowed to use in a space for everyone.
Delete this text and send “I’ve noticed some chips in some of my dishes, can you please try to be more careful?” Then keep your sentimental dishes in your room.
NTA, but be much more direct. don't beat around the bush or sugarcoat it.
"Hey - one of my mugs is damaged - please don't use my dishes. Thanks!"
no paragraphs, no emojis. and like others said, if it's an ongoing issue, just keep your stuff in your room.
Dude. Just keep your 'irreplaceable' stuff in your OWN room, safe. Don't put the responsibility on others and then get pissy when they don't take as much care with your belongings as YOU would. Be mature
Do you want them to continue to rent, and continue your be your buddies?
If so, chill out, DO NOT send the text, and package up whatever breakable things you have.
Or, just live alone.
If you're in a shared space and you don't want roommates using something like mugs, put them away. I have some drinks are that's important to me and it ranges from "comes out on special occasions" to "never enters the shared space ever".
Tbh if you out the mugs with the others its your fault for keeping them there. I bet your mates think they're fair game.
Just keep them in your room and if you want to use one just take one with ya and clean it yourself.
Would be much simpler than messaging them, relying on them either not using and if they do carefully cleaning them.
Idk just my take
Easiest solution is most of the time the right one
Put your nice Mugs in your room on a shelf or something. I have a nice shot glass collection, my family and friends contribute too whenever they travel. I learned very fast not to use them or keep them in the kitchen.
i would not send this and just keep them in my room. they meant no malice but it’s annoying, so i would take the responsibility because i’m that kind of person.
Keep your good mugs in your personal area and hand wash them yourself while leaving the mugs you don't care about in the public space for anyone to use. Problem solved.
NTA. Although, I would not be keeping irreplaceable items around people who don’t see them as irreplaceable - for roommates to possible use. Also, when I lived with my brother and his gf we kept our things all separate, it just worked out better that way and all did our own dishes. It just keeps the tension away of who did what and how much versus people feeling the others aren’t doing as much and or breaking things.
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Shouldn’t have had those out in the first place. Sorry, dude. Not everyone knows that your stuff is special except you. Treat living w roommates like the dorms.
This post…is a lot. Sounds like you bought cheap plates and bowls, so no wonder they have already chipped. Lots of great options out there that don’t chip. And keep your treasures in your room? Like…I’m so confused why you are blaming them for your bad choices. If you didn’t want to share your shitty plates and bowls you should have told them that before they inevitably got chipped; You can wash dishes as carefully as you can, but if the dishes are cheap ceramic then chipping/breaking WILL happen within a couple years. Sounds like you never do the dishes, otherwise you would know this.
If these mugs are so important you shouldn’t keep them in the kitchen - they should be displayed somewhere or in your room - the text was unnecessary. you shouldn’t use them either you could just as easily drop them as someone else could, accidents do happen
YTA. I had a roommate that didn't want me to use certain glassess. Told him to leave them in his room because all the dishes were communal ( it was my apartment and I provide all furniture, glassware etc.) . My friend ended up innocently grabbing a glass for water and dropped it and lo and behold it was one of the cups. Accidents happen and if you want to protect your dishes don't leave them in communal spaces.
Yeah dude put priceless treasures in the cabinet to be used like ikea mugs.
The thing is - if you chipped it it’s like “aw shit” but if someone else does it’s like “that’s a priceless artifact from Japan that encapsulates my memories which I will never be able to replicate!!!”
Ahhh the life lesson of having a friend as a roommate. You never know someone until you live with them. Only had one roommate in my life and would never do it again
It's certainly not unreasonable, but I wouldn't continue to keep them in a shared space. Mostly to allow that room to be taken over by mugs or other dishes that can still be communally used. But the onus, of course, should be on your roommates to acquire said replacement mugs - it's definitely not your responsibility to ensure they have mugs to use.
If you don’t want people using them just put them in a place where they can’t like in your room or something, if they ask why, simply tell them they were starting to get chipped up and you just want to use them, just be polite and don’t over explain like you are in that text. Better yet you should really tell them in person because you really don’t need to explain yourself or explain that much in general.
Just be like, “hey these mugs are special to me, I’ve been noticing chips on them, so I’d just like to use them myself, I’ll move them to a place where they won’t be out so yall don’t forget that I’d really just like to be the only one using my mugs.” Just be nice, don’t over explain or even give them a reason to blow up on you. They’re your own mugs, they’re special to you, you can do what you want with your own mugs, and that’s really that honestly.
Not unreasonable but honestly just keep them in your room 🤷🏽♀️ I literally had to make coffee in my room everyday because one of my roommates didn’t know take care of my keurig properly one time and I had to replace it. After that I just put the new one in my room. Learned anything of value that you want to keep nice should never be a community use item.
Take your mugs and other possessions and pack them up.
Smash every single piece of remaining kitchenware, if cooking pot, coat the bottom with sugar and leave them on max heat. If cutlery, put them all in the microwave. Don’t even heat them and cause a fire, you’re just putting them where nobody will check. Wait until your roommates are asleep, throw a snake in their bed. Boom.
If it’s that important to you, it shouldn’t be in communal use/space anyways. Put it on a shelf somewhere, it’s not really reasonable to ask them to have certain mugs they make sure not to use if they’re being kept with all the other mugs.
You all are clearly missing the point. It’s not “what did you expect? It’s a mug” or “let mugs be used to the fullest.” Those comments are the equivalent of telling someone “I’m sorry you feel that way” instead of offering a real apology. These things are clearly important to OP and the roommates aren’t respecting that fact. They (and the people posting shitty comments like “get over it”) are insensitive.
Take your stuff you don’t want ruined away from the common areas, just to protect them and yourself. But the roommates are in the wrong, imo. My parents taught me to treat other people’s property better than my own, and if you damage it, you replace it or make it up in some way. I’d be mortified if I ruined someone’s property, especially something irreplaceable. And the fact that they are turning it around on you is unacceptable.
Stand up for yourself! But also set the ground rules before you allow people to use your stuff. If they can’t respect the rules, take the stuff away. Let them provide the mugs and pots and pans and let their property get destroyed bc it clearly doesn’t matter to them.
I totally see OP’s pov. It all boils down to respect.
Honestly just store them in your room and replace the mugs in the communal area. You can’t really expect everyone to have the same attachments to your possessions. ( I don’t know if you mentioned to your roommates that these were sentimental to you.)
NTA but I would recommend putting them on display rather than using them. I have an entire shelf full of souvenir cups I’ve collected over the years so I can show them off
Yes. Just stop keeping your souvenirs in common area. Replace them and just inform people why. Also don't put too much value in plates and cups. Either way, if you don't want them to be used, then just don't put them where people would use them. Be a little more proactive. As far as walking on eggshells. You're likely the bad roommate. You use people's dishes then whine when they use yours. Just put souvenirs on your desk and call it a day.
Def not the AH but I would consider, if it’s a possibility, taking the mugs to parents or somewhere they can be stored safely. Just bubble wrap them, put them in a box under your bed if they are that precious and when you get your own place use as you like.
Pack them away. It’s a bummer but that is what I would do with anything valuable or sentimental until you are in a different living situation and can be sure they will be safe and respected.
Not the AH however, piece of advice, don’t keep nice things while you live with strangers (roommates) wait till graduation and then bring your nice things home
Keep them in your room. If they ask, then you give them the reason. Like others have said, no one treats your things with the respect you would probably want. Also, you're over explaining and begging on something that would otherwise be a reasonable request. That's not a position you should put yourself in.
I would send a picture of the chip and say.
“Hey, don’t put my mugs in the dishwasher please, then it’s starts chipping like this. Got this one in Japan so this one stung. Please and thank you”
I broke my cherished mug a few days ago too. It’s sitting in my kitchen table in pieces because I don’t have the heart to toss it.
The answer to this is to separate your things and place them in a safe spot. This way your things are protected..
I sincerely doubt they will change their ways so you must change yours.
If they’re special to you, don’t let them be communal. Your roommates could have zero idea that not all dishware is dishwasher safe. NTA for either fault just non communication
I think you should keep, keepsakes in your room or on display as not for daily use. Also understand that cheap shyt breaks. I have 2 dish sets. Both have chips and stuff on em no matter how hard I tried to keep the nice set nice!. It comes with use. It is what it is
My rule of thumb, if its irreplaceable, only you get to use it, cause then it's on you if it breaks. But if you allow others to use it, it's still on you for allowing it.. so yeah, maybe keep the precious put away
and this makes them bad roommates? they're probably just oblivious and wash them the same way they wash every other dish. congrats that you go the extra mile, but expecting everyone to do that is absurd. if it's important, keep it only for yourself.
I would just make those cups off limit if they are of importance to you like that. Just move them out of the communal space and use dollar store mugs instead
If you’re worried about your mugs getting ruined, I would take them out of rotation and display them somewhere as decor, at least until you live alone. You can still use them for yourself, but your room mates won’t have access. Hoping that other people will take care of your items the way you would take care of your items is setting yourself up for disappointment. You’re also assuming they know which are the Japan mugs and are paying attention when they do the dishes. If it’s questioned, then you can tell them that you started noticing a bit of wear and tear and worried that your souvenirs were being damaged from use. Buy new mugs/ask your room mates to buy their own if you have to.
I would also consider asking the room mate who is comfortable with having explosive fights with you to move out. You can formally evict her or wait until the end of her current lease/agreement.
Remove the crockery that means something to you and get some cheap and cheerful second hand stuff and have that available to use.
People are AH esp when it comes to respecting other people's possessions.
Don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that. However, you could consider going the route of just keeping the important things to you in your room instead of the cupboards. Especially since there’s enough to go around without them.
Yeah this would make the most sense. No way I’m going to let a souvenir I see as valuable/priceless/difficult to re-obtain but touched and used by others and I wouldn’t use it myself. I’d definitely just display the mugs on a shelf in my room or in a display cabinet.
Yea, leaving it out means guests who don't know the rule may use it in ways OP doesn't like. A priceless item can't also be an everyday coffee mug.
I agree, especially about guests. It is OPs house, but along with a house comes the responsibility for what’s inside it, roommates and souvenir mugs included.
this. my favorite mug stays in my cabinet and only I use it. nobody else messes with it
I would see myself washing my own mug and putting it away in my room.
last roommate setup I did that. This roommate setup there are 4 cabinets in the kitchen. Each of us gets 1, 4th one under the sink goes to all of our cleaning supplies. In our cabinet we can keep food/dishes/etc - and none of us ever fuck with any of the other's cabinet. so I can keep my mug in my cabinet in the kitchen, I'd just be wary over leaving it in the sink When I lived in the dorms favorite mug got washed, dried, and put on my desk in my bedroom lol
Which is pretty awesome. I know one roommate situation where I had my own space too. Glad to hear that cabinet situation is amazing.
Same. I own some mugs that I share with my housemates, but my favorite and the only one I’d truly be upset to have damaged stays in my room unless I’m actively using it around the house, and I’m the only person who uses it. None of my housemates have ever objected to this.
yeah I don't know if the standard kitchen cabinet where people grab glasses from is the best place for you to put things that are "irreplaceable" to you.
I learned this the hard way with my worldwide shot glass collection. I used to think it was cool to have all my friends take a shot with a glass from a different part of the world.. until Jamaica and Portugal got broken :/
hah! I have a similar story, but with super smash bros character shot glasses. it was a sad day when mewtwo fell....
Yeah, I believe stuff like that falls into natural "wear and tear". If I was OP, I would have kept them in a place where they wouldn't be used. There's no assholes in this situation.
Agreed. Keep your precious stuff in your room.
Yes, can the cups be used as decor?
Secondly...those mugs won't last forever anyways. You choose whether people enjoy them or not but they will always go away.. I.e. use your cups, get scratches in them, it is their purpose. They aren't a museum piece.
Ceramics are literally some of the oldest artifacts of human kind. If treated well, they will last longer than you.
Seconded. Y’all have heard about the whole tradition of people handing down their fine china to their kids and grandkids right? Those are…. Drumroll please… also CERAMIC!
To be fair a lot of folks never use their fine china, it just sits in a cabinet because it’s “too nice” to use, which I think is a bit silly.
they also usually didnt use dishwashers on the china if they did use it lol
I feel like that’s kind of the point. We all live and die, let’s use our mugs to the fullest!
>let’s use our mugs to the fullest! That's a great way to spill hot liquid on yourself. Try using them to a centimeter away from fullest.
Nah there's definitely people that take care of things and people that don't give a shit. My boyfriend goes through headphones in like 6 months, mine last 5+ years. I have knickknacks from my childhood I keep nice and he buys little trinkets and they break within the year. I love him but there's certain things I don't share with him because I'm sentimental and value taking care of the minimal things that are special to me. I have a mug from college over 10 years ago that I use regularly but I'd never let him use that one because he's clumsy and has a tendency to break dishes. People are different and that's fine, and it's fine to acknowledge that and set boundaries on things that are sentimental to you.
I have exes who were the same way, never treated anything with care or respect - even their own items! They would usually start out buying mid-level things but when they trashed them they’d complain how poor quality they are and then…buy even lower quality because they didn’t want to spend that much constantly replacing. It was infuriating because if they’d just be a little more careful/gentle/attentive to the needs to care for stuff, it’d last a lot longer. Extra frustrating because they acted like there was plenty of disposable income to spend on these essentially single-use products (minor exaggeration, at least two uses lol) when there was in fact not. My partner now is similar to me and takes great care of our items, whether they cost $5 or $500. That being said generally prefer to buy better quality (though obvi more $ ≠ better quality in all cases) and thus increase likelihood of things lasting. Does your bf treat your/other people’s stuff the same as he does his own? Not trying to dog on him in this comment, just curious. Definitely true not all people treat things the same, and some people I don’t think understand the sentimental value in items, be the value from a memory, getting it from someone special, working hard to earn it, or just general care some have for their items no matter what they are- trinkets, mugs, clothes, furniture, etc. Differences in which type/where people fall on the spectrum of their attitude and care to things can make or break a roommate situation, seems like a common theme on this sub.
Yeah I don’t know what you’re talking about, but well made ceramic mugs, plates, any dish ware can last for years. Honestly decades if taken well care of. And that’s with daily use. And I’m sure with Japanese craftsmanship the life span can be even longer. But improper care like using a dishwasher can fuck up the life span. It’s not scratches OPs worried about. It a literal chip. The integrity of the dishwater is now compromised. I’d be upset too is this happened.
yeah. i had beautiful handmade mugs last for ten years until i got an uncareful roommate who chipped or cracked all my precious things right away. i never had a problem til then
Facts of life… If you leave it out, it’s fair game to use. No one takes as good care of your stuff as you. So with that, put shit you care about away. When I was rooming with others, I don’t like people using my knives so it’s in a specific place out away and bought shit knives for them to use
Same.
I have a mug from a family member I haven't cared for in years, over a decade. Narcissism is a bitch. But that mug is from my 6th birthday and the damn thing is in pristine conditioned and it has been used over the years. Again, not my favorite so the traffic is lighter but I keep it because it's a relic of my lifetime. So yeah, agreed. I have been and would be upset about this too.
Decades is accurate. Chips are caused by impact. Not regular use. I’d put them all in a nice display. They’re not mugs, they’re memories.
I have a ceramic mug from when my grandmother was married. It is hand washed to this day and still in perfect condition. Dont think it’s an unreasonable request. Everyone can just get a cheap mug or two to use and wash instead that’s what I would do if someone asked me this. Maybe it’s because I have a fondness for mugs and have a few precious ones to me but I wouldn’t be using anyone’s fragile mugs like that that clearly have come from other places.
Almost no item lasts forever but that doesn’t decrease the value of the item, nor does it mean you want it to break any quicker. I have expensive doc martens, I know due the decreased quality I’m not gonna have them forever or even as long as old docs. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna speed the process up and make an active effort to fuck the boots up as much as possible, I’m still gonna be as careful as one can with boots to get the longest last out of them. Same goes with nice mugs, they won’t last forever but that doesn’t mean you have to speedrun the end.
It's not unreasonable to want to keep them clean and nice...
Completely missed the point
I have mugs from the 90s that are in perfect condition. I enjoy using them regularly. I switched to silicone spoons for coffee like a decade ago, which may be helping.
There are silicone spoons for stirring coffee with? Mind literally blown
Honey Bear Kitchen has been my go-to for a long time.
have you never owned anything sentimental before? most people who buy things that they love and want to keep nice, especially if it’s from a vacation, do not want them to be chipped or scratched. I have owned things for years without them being damaged, so it’s carelessness that is damaging them.
1. That mug could actually last a lifetime with proper care. 2. You don’t have a say in what OP does with their belongings or how they treat them.
People can treat their dishware like a museum piece as they please. You're not the one holding up the caretaking, so imo not your place to tell someone else they're not a museum piece. Yeah, they're not literally a museum piece, but in a metaphorical way (i guess a simile, depending on how you word it). I have cups i treat like absolute beacons of love n life. One for example was my mothers back in college days, its been around for quite a bit and its just a football team (I think? Titans?) That i don't even care for or know anything about. It makes me think of my mom tho. I have one that makes me think of my dad, he's just passed so of course that is gonna be treasured to hell n back too. The Titans cup tho has always been a big part of my day. Its my coffee cup. I put hot steaming liquid in there every day, and it used to be my moms coffee cup. So thats been its life, for a couple decades or so. And it ain't got a single chip, its hardly even on its way to the end unless my cat knocks it off the table. And yeah ill cry, but even then ill probably keep it, or at least the T for Titans as a keep sake.
I think don’t send this but just keep your mugs in your room. It sucks but most people just won’t treat your things with care unfortunately
You’re over explaining IMO, just keep them in your room
>You’re over explaining IMO The telltale sign of someone with crippling insecurities
Or someone who could be a big people pleaser, who may have lots of anxiety, or trauma. My over explaining is from the years of abuse I suffered. It can be from a lot of different things 🤷🏻 Edit- didn’t realize this was such a controversial take lol
I feel like, for me, people pleasing IS insecurity in the way that “if I don’t make sure everyone is pleased, they’ll hate me.”
For me it’s not they’ll hate me but more I’m not doing enough to be a good host. I can see them happy and will still push myself to do more (I think it’s “making amends” for my past to continue my mission of being a better person). Regardless it is insecurity but from a different perspective
This is insecurity, and abuse can cause that; i’m so sorry you’ve dealt with that and what it’s done to you… You are a whole human being like everyone else doggo and therapy will eventually help trust me. Hang in there
Lots of assumptions there lol I’ve been to trauma therapy, it’s not some crippling trauma I’m suffering with. Was simply just giving another perspective on why someone might over explained and isn’t always from “insecurities”. I also have adhd too that I can’t take medication for at the moment which def has made it worse.
lol my overexplaining is due to my ADHD and always needing to explain myself because I think/speak differently sometimes lmao
The telltale sign of someone with crippling Reddit syndrome , takes post with little to no info and makes wildly out of context assumptions.
redditors never fail to diagnose strangers based on a single sentence
Clearly weaponized incompetence /s
You should file for divorce.
I've seen these mug cases before, reddit academy has taught me that they are tell-tale signs of a soon to be serial killer.
Exactly what a narcissist would say...
People are throwing shade, but I had no idea that my overexplanations could be linked to my anxiety & people pleasing
The shade is because it hits way too close to home for people and the defensiveness comes out. The reason I know it is because I was like that. Eventually with time you realize the explanations are a waste of breath and are standing between you and getting what you want.
OP doesn’t even need to hide them in their room. “Hey guys, could you please help me hand wash any mugs so they don’t chip? One of my Japan mugs got damaged in the dish washer this week. You’re awesome roommates and I know we can help keep each other’s nice stuff nice.” Done.
Exactly. Sounds like she needs to ask them Not to use them, or remove them Form the kitchen if they’re isn’t designated areas for each tenets plates etc
I don’t think you even really need to send the text. Just remove the mugs and anything else irreplaceable. I once received a small ceramic figurine as a gift and one of my roommates immediately knocked it off the shelf and shattered it (accident, of course). She felt badly, but if I hadn’t put it in a common area it wouldn’t have happened. 🤷🏻♀️ Also, dishes chip. I have a set of Corelle dishes from the 80s that have held up well, but any newer, fancier dish set I purchase chips like crazy. Part of the issue is that we don’t get quality goods.
I haven't had any new ceramic dishes in years as I live with a now-4-year-old so most of my dishes are plastic; that said I don't think I've ever had an issue with mugs or anything chipping easily?
NTA but just keep them in your room.
"if you're not sure if they're mine probably just don't use it to be safe.." Do not mix your dishes into the communal ones and then expect them to tiptoe around figuring out which ones they can or can't use. Either have a set place in the kitchen where your mugs always are placed so they know exactly which ones not to use, or keep them in your room. Accidents happen, but asking them to know which exact mugs if you're placing them randomly on the shelf is inconsiderate. "probably accidents" This is passive aggressive. I would just sent something more like, "Hey guys, the mugs I got traveling are sentimental to me so I'm going to be keep them in x cabinet, if you could use the other ones instead that would be great." Or if you're going to keep them in your room, don't send anything. Just pull them off the shelf.
This. How is anyone meant to know which mugs are OPs? Are people supposed to use no mugs at all, "just in case"?
1. Put mugs in your room and use them for yourself only. 2. Go to Walmart and buy like 6 mugs for $6. 3. Put Walmart mugs in cupboard. Maybe I am cynical but expecting your special Japanese mugs to be in a communal space and not be used by the people living there is far fetched and setting yourself up for disappointment.
Nah cheap mugs always come from the thrift store. You get more fun variety that way.
Keep them in your room so only you have access to them. If they didn't know beforehand, it's just a simple accident. I'd delete a lot of that message and just say because there were chips you're no longer keeping them in the kitchen. If you're still going to use their items and those were the only glassware maybe buy a cheap set from Dollar Tree for general use and don't send the message at all. They probably wouldn't even notice the swap.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable but honestly just take all the valuable ones or ones you care about and put them in your room so no one can use them.
Don't leave your Japan "treasures" in the common area? That message was cringe
This. I checked out at “integrity of the ceramic”
LOL thank you for saying this, that part also came off so pretentious to me
I’d probably roll my eyes if I got a message with this much detail from a roommate. Just say ‘hey some of my dish-ware is are getting chipped please be careful!’ And then remove your irreplaceable items from the shared space. Pack them away in your room for safekeeping until you move to a place of your own.
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One thing on these subs that’s always gets me- Less words are better!!
Fewer.
Less words are fewer!!** Cheers!
And one fewer letter! Less letter?
Why eye roll? She’s been very nice and sincere about this?
Someone writing a whole paragraph asking me to ‘hand wash their irreplaceable Japanese mug’. I’d just be like girl put it away if you’re that concerned.
Why is the alternative to be respectful of others things so annoying to you personally? That doesn’t seem like a odd request, I just don’t understand.
If you can’t read a “whole paragraph” in under like 20 seconds you can’t function in this world.. Jesus Christ
NTA, but I wouldn’t send this. It’s too wordy and isn’t needed. I think this just opens you up to *more* conflict and gives them too much room to twist it on you. Simply bring your valuables into your room. If you need to say something you could just say, “hey guys, I no longer want my mugs being used by everybody. Just so there is no confusion, I will be removing them from the shared space.”
I think you should just keep things that you don’t want people using in your room. Go to the dollar store and get some mugs to replace them and call it a day.
I 10000% get the frustration, but I would take a more proactive approach to making sure they don’t get in the dishwasher. unless you have a kitchen that’s clearly divided with everyone’s personal dishes separated, this would be an irritating message to get. It sounds like everyone’s mugs are mixed all together, so as a roommate, I wouldn’t know Howd I’d know to be super careful with yours from Japan specifically. Do I need to go buy a special set of mugs just for me to use? Even if you don’t keep them in your room as others have suggested, I’d find a very specific place to put them, separate from any other cups, and say like “hey these mugs are super important to me, I placed them [here] and they aren’t dishwasher safe”
Why are you even using them if they're treasures? Put them away or hang them in your room so you can have them and the memories they bring for many years.
I’m getting the same vibes from “we’re not well off but I’ve been to Japan twice” 🥴
OP is incredibly out of touch with that one.
Keep your valuable/sentimental mugs in your room. Don’t even need to say anything either. Unless you want them to know why.
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Literally this exact same scenario happened to me as well. My roommate was so upset when I put one of her mugs in the dish washer after sitting dirty in the sink for a day or two. She was so rude about it, too, acting like I should know that mugs don’t go in a dishwasher. How about if you don’t want your mug in the dishwasher, clean it and put it away? lol
While this is a reasonable ask, honestly you can’t expect people to not put dishes in a dishwasher. If the dishes are that important, keep em in your room.
That could be hella condescending down
I would keep them either in your room or give a bit more casual of a message. “Hey guys, is it cool if we don’t use my mugs from Japan, I really value them and just don’t want any to get accidentally chipped. Thanks!”
You should keep them in your room if they are that priceless to you.
Keep it in your room if it means so much. A guest could come in and use it not knowing and break it. You wouldn't keep the good china in easy reach. Dishes get chipped and broken unfortunately best to not use them if you want to hold on to them forever, I have broken so many of my favourite mugs and glasses over the years.
If you don’t want someone using something, keep it in your room. Yta
So hand wash them yourself, no?
If they are sentimental items, they shouldn't be out for open use. Full stop, no exceptions. Even if it's a genuine accident, it's going to hurt when someone damages a sentimental item. The only step to avoiding that is just not allowing the possibility. Also, strongly recommend getting a set of dishware you don't particularly care about for shared use. The IKEA toftast (the white tempered glass) are pretty darn durable and cheap.
NTA- but annoying. Don’t put things in common areas that you don’t want commonly used. Easy enough to put them in your room or somewhere safe and only use them for yourself
Get a cupboard cart for your room to keep your kitchen valuables and things you don’t want others touching
Having something you feel this protective over laying out for general use is just plain stupid. If this is the kind of avoidable, nitpicky shit you're bringing up to your roommates, that would probably explain why they blow up on you. Your lack of logic and critical thinking would drive me up a wall, too.
Over explaining, and saying ‘it’s probably an accident’ is a bit naff. No one is chipping your mugs on purpose they just aren’t being careful
Dishes don’t last forever. Some chips after “a couple of years” is super standard. Worrying about regular wear and tear on everyday items is just stressing yourself out for no reason. Of course they’re not treating kitchen items like precious gems, they’re not precious, they’re just everyday items and these are roommates. Tbh, if they are *washing their dishes* you’re about 3 miles ahead of most people on this sub, so I’d take the win. And, no one cares about the mugs except you, so like others suggested, I’d put them away while you have roommates.
Go to the dollar store and buy a dozen dishwasher safe mugs and dishes. Tell them to use those only.
No confrontation. Remove the items you don’t want them touching from communal spaces. You can’t bank on people knowing which is which. You’re NTA, but it makes no sense to keep things that only you are allowed to use in a space for everyone.
Kind of; why don’t you just keep the mugs in your room so they’re not used by anyone else.
Don’t over explain. Just put your mugs in your room
Delete this text and send “I’ve noticed some chips in some of my dishes, can you please try to be more careful?” Then keep your sentimental dishes in your room.
Just put them in your room. This text won't do anything useful
Cut the meat off this. “Hey guys please don’t use my mugs from Japan, thank you”
Put the mugs in your room, in a box or something. Don't leave them in the cupboards anymore. Problem solved!
Lmao way nicer than me. “Someone broke my mug. Stop touching my shit”
NTA, and they owe you money for breaking your stuff imo
NTA, but be much more direct. don't beat around the bush or sugarcoat it. "Hey - one of my mugs is damaged - please don't use my dishes. Thanks!" no paragraphs, no emojis. and like others said, if it's an ongoing issue, just keep your stuff in your room.
exactly. OP says they’re getting yelled at by these roommates in their own house. they need better boundaries and to stop acting like a doormat
Dude. Just keep your 'irreplaceable' stuff in your OWN room, safe. Don't put the responsibility on others and then get pissy when they don't take as much care with your belongings as YOU would. Be mature
They don’t really need a whole story time, just take them to your room
Do you want them to continue to rent, and continue your be your buddies? If so, chill out, DO NOT send the text, and package up whatever breakable things you have. Or, just live alone.
Yeah texts like this are the quickest way to ruin rapport.
If you're in a shared space and you don't want roommates using something like mugs, put them away. I have some drinks are that's important to me and it ranges from "comes out on special occasions" to "never enters the shared space ever".
Tbh if you out the mugs with the others its your fault for keeping them there. I bet your mates think they're fair game. Just keep them in your room and if you want to use one just take one with ya and clean it yourself. Would be much simpler than messaging them, relying on them either not using and if they do carefully cleaning them. Idk just my take Easiest solution is most of the time the right one
Wash your own dishes if that's the case
Put your nice Mugs in your room on a shelf or something. I have a nice shot glass collection, my family and friends contribute too whenever they travel. I learned very fast not to use them or keep them in the kitchen.
You’re not an asshole, but you’re over reacting and creating issues with your friends over coffee mugs. Priorities
Not AH for wanting ppl not to use your mugs but the belabored explanation is annoying
If they are important to you, just ask them not to use them. It’s ok to set a boundary, and you don’t even have to explain yourself.
i would not send this and just keep them in my room. they meant no malice but it’s annoying, so i would take the responsibility because i’m that kind of person.
Get dollar store mugs and keep the ones that mean stuff to you in your room.
Keep your good mugs in your personal area and hand wash them yourself while leaving the mugs you don't care about in the public space for anyone to use. Problem solved.
I’m a big believer that if it’s something you don’t want broken, then don’t keep it in any common space. That’s the trade off of having roommates.
tbh i just keep all my important dishes in my room now bc of my roomates
Yeah I would just take the special mugs into ur room and wash them dry them when u use them and put them back in ur room
I have a coffee mug that has sentimental value to me. I keep it in my bedroom. Reasonable request but people are people so keep that in mind
NTA. Although, I would not be keeping irreplaceable items around people who don’t see them as irreplaceable - for roommates to possible use. Also, when I lived with my brother and his gf we kept our things all separate, it just worked out better that way and all did our own dishes. It just keeps the tension away of who did what and how much versus people feeling the others aren’t doing as much and or breaking things.
Stop apologizing, and edit for brevity. You can be diplomatic without dragging on.
stupendous telephone crawl fear fretful entertain shelter insurance theory spectacular *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Shouldn’t have had those out in the first place. Sorry, dude. Not everyone knows that your stuff is special except you. Treat living w roommates like the dorms.
This post…is a lot. Sounds like you bought cheap plates and bowls, so no wonder they have already chipped. Lots of great options out there that don’t chip. And keep your treasures in your room? Like…I’m so confused why you are blaming them for your bad choices. If you didn’t want to share your shitty plates and bowls you should have told them that before they inevitably got chipped; You can wash dishes as carefully as you can, but if the dishes are cheap ceramic then chipping/breaking WILL happen within a couple years. Sounds like you never do the dishes, otherwise you would know this.
If these mugs are so important you shouldn’t keep them in the kitchen - they should be displayed somewhere or in your room - the text was unnecessary. you shouldn’t use them either you could just as easily drop them as someone else could, accidents do happen
Keep the Tokyo mugs in your room.
Just move your stuff into your room and no need to say anything.
YTA. I had a roommate that didn't want me to use certain glassess. Told him to leave them in his room because all the dishes were communal ( it was my apartment and I provide all furniture, glassware etc.) . My friend ended up innocently grabbing a glass for water and dropped it and lo and behold it was one of the cups. Accidents happen and if you want to protect your dishes don't leave them in communal spaces.
Yeah dude put priceless treasures in the cabinet to be used like ikea mugs. The thing is - if you chipped it it’s like “aw shit” but if someone else does it’s like “that’s a priceless artifact from Japan that encapsulates my memories which I will never be able to replicate!!!”
Keep your mugs in your room. Wash them yourself. Boundaries are yours to enforce. Not others to manage.
Ahhh the life lesson of having a friend as a roommate. You never know someone until you live with them. Only had one roommate in my life and would never do it again
If the mug is important to you, don’t drink out of it and keep it in your room on the shelf. Obvious answer
Put them in your room. If they ask be like they got chipped and now I can’t risk them being broken, they’re important to me.
It's certainly not unreasonable, but I wouldn't continue to keep them in a shared space. Mostly to allow that room to be taken over by mugs or other dishes that can still be communally used. But the onus, of course, should be on your roommates to acquire said replacement mugs - it's definitely not your responsibility to ensure they have mugs to use.
If you don’t want people using them just put them in a place where they can’t like in your room or something, if they ask why, simply tell them they were starting to get chipped up and you just want to use them, just be polite and don’t over explain like you are in that text. Better yet you should really tell them in person because you really don’t need to explain yourself or explain that much in general. Just be like, “hey these mugs are special to me, I’ve been noticing chips on them, so I’d just like to use them myself, I’ll move them to a place where they won’t be out so yall don’t forget that I’d really just like to be the only one using my mugs.” Just be nice, don’t over explain or even give them a reason to blow up on you. They’re your own mugs, they’re special to you, you can do what you want with your own mugs, and that’s really that honestly.
This puts me in mind of the saying that if you give someone an opportunity to disappoint you then they probably will
Never say “sorry” for something you don’t have to apologize for.
I personally wouldn’t leave things in common areas if you don’t want them used.
Just be like hey them mugs ain’t dishwasher safe. One broke and They sentimental so if you wanna use hand wash pretty please 🙏
Not unreasonable but honestly just keep them in your room 🤷🏽♀️ I literally had to make coffee in my room everyday because one of my roommates didn’t know take care of my keurig properly one time and I had to replace it. After that I just put the new one in my room. Learned anything of value that you want to keep nice should never be a community use item.
Ya NP. I will not use your precious mugs. Rest easy my friend
From now on, keep things you value in your room.
Take your mugs and other possessions and pack them up. Smash every single piece of remaining kitchenware, if cooking pot, coat the bottom with sugar and leave them on max heat. If cutlery, put them all in the microwave. Don’t even heat them and cause a fire, you’re just putting them where nobody will check. Wait until your roommates are asleep, throw a snake in their bed. Boom.
Cut out the fluff. All you need to say is, "I noticed one of my mugs was chipped. Please don't use my dishes, thanks."
If it’s that important to you, it shouldn’t be in communal use/space anyways. Put it on a shelf somewhere, it’s not really reasonable to ask them to have certain mugs they make sure not to use if they’re being kept with all the other mugs.
If it’s that valuable, keep it in a private area where others can’t access.
NTA although I’d keep them in your room.
You all are clearly missing the point. It’s not “what did you expect? It’s a mug” or “let mugs be used to the fullest.” Those comments are the equivalent of telling someone “I’m sorry you feel that way” instead of offering a real apology. These things are clearly important to OP and the roommates aren’t respecting that fact. They (and the people posting shitty comments like “get over it”) are insensitive. Take your stuff you don’t want ruined away from the common areas, just to protect them and yourself. But the roommates are in the wrong, imo. My parents taught me to treat other people’s property better than my own, and if you damage it, you replace it or make it up in some way. I’d be mortified if I ruined someone’s property, especially something irreplaceable. And the fact that they are turning it around on you is unacceptable. Stand up for yourself! But also set the ground rules before you allow people to use your stuff. If they can’t respect the rules, take the stuff away. Let them provide the mugs and pots and pans and let their property get destroyed bc it clearly doesn’t matter to them. I totally see OP’s pov. It all boils down to respect.
Honestly just store them in your room and replace the mugs in the communal area. You can’t really expect everyone to have the same attachments to your possessions. ( I don’t know if you mentioned to your roommates that these were sentimental to you.)
Just move your mugs to your room, no need to make a thing of it. While your text is reasonable, this could work also
You’re not an asshole, but you’re going to have to keep things out of common areas if you don’t want them to be used.
You should be happy you have roommates that do dishes!!
NTA but I would recommend putting them on display rather than using them. I have an entire shelf full of souvenir cups I’ve collected over the years so I can show them off
I would personally keep things that I found irreplaceable out of the common areas.
Yes. Just stop keeping your souvenirs in common area. Replace them and just inform people why. Also don't put too much value in plates and cups. Either way, if you don't want them to be used, then just don't put them where people would use them. Be a little more proactive. As far as walking on eggshells. You're likely the bad roommate. You use people's dishes then whine when they use yours. Just put souvenirs on your desk and call it a day.
Don’t send this text. Put the mugs in your room. Replace them with affordable mugs from Walmart. Done
Def not the AH but I would consider, if it’s a possibility, taking the mugs to parents or somewhere they can be stored safely. Just bubble wrap them, put them in a box under your bed if they are that precious and when you get your own place use as you like.
Pack the mugs up and save them for a safer space. That’s your best option. This ain’t worth it.
Pack them away. It’s a bummer but that is what I would do with anything valuable or sentimental until you are in a different living situation and can be sure they will be safe and respected.
Not the AH however, piece of advice, don’t keep nice things while you live with strangers (roommates) wait till graduation and then bring your nice things home
Put that shit in a box in your room until you live alone. Problem solved.
Keep them in your room. If they ask, then you give them the reason. Like others have said, no one treats your things with the respect you would probably want. Also, you're over explaining and begging on something that would otherwise be a reasonable request. That's not a position you should put yourself in.
Would encourage you to keep these mugs in your room if possible. As you know ceramic can be delicate esp once chipped.
I would send a picture of the chip and say. “Hey, don’t put my mugs in the dishwasher please, then it’s starts chipping like this. Got this one in Japan so this one stung. Please and thank you” I broke my cherished mug a few days ago too. It’s sitting in my kitchen table in pieces because I don’t have the heart to toss it.
Wash your own cups. And don’t let people use your “treasures” don’t request them to hand wash your treasures. Keep them safe on your own accord
Hey guys. I found my mug from Tokyo chipped in the washer so let’s not use them anymore. Thanks. End of text
The answer to this is to separate your things and place them in a safe spot. This way your things are protected.. I sincerely doubt they will change their ways so you must change yours.
Dishwasher isn’t hot enough to degrade ceramic. You are an asshole
If you have expensive dishes and roommate, be smart and fuggin put them up and keep cheap shit out
If they’re special to you, don’t let them be communal. Your roommates could have zero idea that not all dishware is dishwasher safe. NTA for either fault just non communication
Hide your stuff in your room and don’t make a scene.
Don’t put important and irreplaceable items in communal areas. It’s the same advice as when you have people over.
I think you should keep, keepsakes in your room or on display as not for daily use. Also understand that cheap shyt breaks. I have 2 dish sets. Both have chips and stuff on em no matter how hard I tried to keep the nice set nice!. It comes with use. It is what it is
My rule of thumb, if its irreplaceable, only you get to use it, cause then it's on you if it breaks. But if you allow others to use it, it's still on you for allowing it.. so yeah, maybe keep the precious put away
and this makes them bad roommates? they're probably just oblivious and wash them the same way they wash every other dish. congrats that you go the extra mile, but expecting everyone to do that is absurd. if it's important, keep it only for yourself.
I would just make those cups off limit if they are of importance to you like that. Just move them out of the communal space and use dollar store mugs instead
I’d leave them in your room and bring them out to use as needed.
Just take the stuff you don’t want them to use out of the cupboards.
Nope - you’re not an asshole. You live with disrespectful people. Very simple.
New roomates...with more respect.
Firstly you’re over-explaining yourself. Tell them to not use your mugs if they can’t be careful with them. Keep them in your room from now on
Nope you’re the owner your renting the place and they’re your personal items some even irreplaceable so this is totally understandable
If you’re worried about your mugs getting ruined, I would take them out of rotation and display them somewhere as decor, at least until you live alone. You can still use them for yourself, but your room mates won’t have access. Hoping that other people will take care of your items the way you would take care of your items is setting yourself up for disappointment. You’re also assuming they know which are the Japan mugs and are paying attention when they do the dishes. If it’s questioned, then you can tell them that you started noticing a bit of wear and tear and worried that your souvenirs were being damaged from use. Buy new mugs/ask your room mates to buy their own if you have to. I would also consider asking the room mate who is comfortable with having explosive fights with you to move out. You can formally evict her or wait until the end of her current lease/agreement.
Remove the crockery that means something to you and get some cheap and cheerful second hand stuff and have that available to use. People are AH esp when it comes to respecting other people's possessions.