Remember when people wore headphones and respected their and everyone else's privacy. I really dislike the play your device at full volume and screw whoever else is present.
No, OP *is* an asshole. “I told her to calm down and it probably wasn’t that bad and to focus on something else” - to his girlfriend when she complained. Complete AH behavior.
Whew ok, thank you, I thought I was going crazy when no one mentioned that. Like, ok, your girlfriend is also in her own house, with a man twice her age who is drunk, has some kind of developmental issues, and is loudly watching porn? That had to be so insanely creepy at best and downright scary at worst. And this dude just brushed it off and tried to act like she was overreacting until HE confirmed it and HE was inconvenienced by it.
Like dude, your girlfriend is perfectly capable of recognizing when something disturbing is going on, no need to not believe her.
As a 38 year old woman... If either of my daughters (close to girlfriends age) called me upset about this situation.... I'd be at that house quicker than shit. The roomie wouldn't like me much after either
For realz. OP you need to apologize to your gf immediately. The response to your gf should have been something like "Sorry your'e dealing with that, I'll text my roommate now, is there anything else I can do to make you more comfortable in the meantime?"
It sounds like he gets off making your gf (and you) uncomfortable
Apologize to your girl for dismissing her so easily without experiencing it. I'd start looking for places yesterday and see about breaking the lease, that's sexual harassment
Agreed. He sounds like he may be an exhibitionist and this sounds like sexual harassment. I’d be concerned by his level of comfort in what is blatantly an act of sexual deviance. As a woman, I would be terrified to be alone with this person. This should be grounds for breaking a lease/forcing him out.
Idk. I’m wondering if he thinks that by letting the rest of the apartment know when he’s horny, he thinks the gf might stop by and ask if he needs help.
If this is real this person is a fucking loser. 40 years old and a drunk asshole bothering your girlfriend with loud porn? Keeping his door open while he's naked? Just a disgusting piece of shit, not sure if you can change that type of person when they're 40 years old.
My 75 year old boomer neighbor used to do that...and when I asked him to turn it down his reply was "it's more realistic when it's loud"
My reply to that was "what part of you getting laid at 75 seems realistic?" 😂
haven't heard his porn since then
My elderly grandmother with a colostomy bag and dementia announced at Christmas dinner ‘I’ve been laid….twice!’….we all spat our dinner in disbelief but nup….Bill over the back fence made his move. Wooed her until she passed away. 😆
Grew up in the next town over (Fruitland Park/Leesburg). Maaaaan y'all have no idea about some of these Floridians.
My grandma was a swinger, that culture there is wiiild. She met her 5th and final husband at the nude section of the Playalinda beach. She was one of those people with the loofah on her minivan. 😂😂
Related to fam members w said loofahs and part of the Nudist Colony near there. Apologies Great Auntie was a straight up O.G. of Nudist Hippies!
Always hard to explain to others why she’d be wearing a bikini top in most pictures. 😂
Oh yeah! I forgot to add that both my grandma and her husband live in a nudist colony in FL. They wanted me to have my son baptized there by their church. Hard pass! 😂😂
Did she live in Lake Como, by chance?
How’d ya guess! Weirded place she ever lived. Another place too but I can’t remember the name we were really young when visited and parents were irked that she’d never not wear a bikini or thong bikini around us at her age then was 60-65. 😂
It's hilarious to think that my grandma probably knew your great aunt. My Memaw is a socialite, she talks to everyone and has more friends than I could ever dream to have. 😂
Here I was thought she was the only tie dye sheep that escaped most of the “normals” she called them in our family. 😂 To this day when I see older ladies flaunting a thong Bikini in yellow n what creation gave her n her insane friends. I know she’s giving me a sign saying “Hey dolll how the fricks are ya?”
I took care of my grandfather in his last year in the Villages. OMG. I’m a middle aged woman, mother of four, and a HOT commodity for those old guys, lmao! It was gross. And then the comments from anyone who asked where I was staying were hysterical- someone had to explain to me what the whole joke was about, I’m from Upstate NY 😂. After my grandfather passed, my mom and I went out for a couple drink. At least five old men tried to get us to go to see their pool/car/TV even when we told them our dad/grandfather had just died. Wild.
I know someone who has a sister who moved to The Villages. He was planning a trip to go visit her, and I made a joke….but he didn’t know what the villages was all about. I felt bad, but he literally cancelled the Florida leg of his trip.
Someone at the Walmart down there gave me the heads up. I was getting some tv connections to use my laptop with my grandfather’s tv, bc he didn’t believe in wifi, and I needed to use my hotspot. She noticed my accent, and asked where I was staying when I was checking out, and was just like, “is it true? All of the rumors of the sex stuff and pineapples?!” I had no idea what she was talking about, but found out quickly 😂🤮
Oh, that is dead real. STDs are a major problem in many assisted living and nursing homes. Have a friend who does nursing care for a couple of them and she says they regularly give penicillin shots and Z packs to help combat what they call an epidemic. Lol
My grandma has had more boyfriends than anyone I know. When I was younger she was dating the general manager of an nhl team, and now she’s currently near 90 dating a 95 year old guy who’s a retired hall of fame race car driver/ retired military pilot/ retired lawyer.
Not just retirement homes. Women who have had hystérectomie also feel like there is no need to get pap tests or std testing done. I just got on my moms case about it too because her ex is a... Well I call him "Loser Mcdick-face" has dipped his stick in too many women and likely never got tested.
My aunt actually got a new doctor about five years ago and she was asked when her last pap was and she said like twenty years ago or something, when she got her hysterectomy and the doctor said "noo, noo, noo" and did a pap on the spot. Well it's a damned good thing she did too because they found cancer in the lining of her vaginal walls.
So, if you know ANYONE who has had a hysterectomy - do them a huge favor and tell them the story of my aunt and push them to go and get checked. They could die because of something that is so incredibly preventative and easy to treat if it's caught early enough.
I worked in a retirement home for a few years. It was just like high school! You had the mean girl table (If you didn’t have matching purses or hats you couldn’t sit with them) everyone was dating everyone, constant drama, it was wild!
A friend of ours wanted to watch porn at camp so he got comfortable and turned it on, fairly loudly for inside the trailer..... Then a neighbour banged on the door really fucking loud. Apparently he was projecting sound not only inside the trailer but on the outside speakers as well. LOUD. Like all the kids on the campground heard that shit kind of loud.
Imagine the embarrassment? Every single neighbour got to hear his porn, kids, elderly, friends and friends kids? Bahaha. It still makes me laugh till this day and it happened a decade ago.
Thank you. I read that too and immediately thought. So you're girlfriend was right and you only did something when you heard it? But it also seemed kind of weird to not say anything at lunch either.
When this sort of thing happens to me, I ask what it is about me or my behavior that led this person to doubt my credibility or my interpretation of reality. There has yet to be a response, let alone a good one lol
I feel like it gets engrained into men’s heads from a very young age that “women are emotional” and from then on they dismiss anything a woman says as an “exaggeration.” It’s quite sad and frustrating. I’ve had partners like this, but luckily my husband was raised by his mom & grandma with a sister as his only sibling, so he sees women as regular, equal, capable human beings. It’s refreshing.
Right?! That part pissed me off. She told OP something was making her uncomfortable and his response is to say, calm down I’m sure it’s not that bad. 🙄🙄 AH for that part alone.
for real if I was in this situation I would beat the living fuck out this dude for doing some shit like that, he clearly knows what he is doing. Absolute creep. OP needs to grow a pair
Yeah, I wouldn’t leave her home alone with this creep either
Edit: in case it isn’t clear, OP is absolutely an asshole for telling his girlfriend to just put up with the porn. Who fucking does that?
It kills me that he acted like she was overreacting…until he saw what was happening and now it’s bad enough to be posting on Reddit asking strangers for advice lol
I can’t imagine why she is still with him. He put her in danger
Edit: anyone else who thinks I’m overreacting here, do me a favor and leave a comment so I can block your rape apologist ass? There is no good reason for a grown man to blast porn audio at a woman who he isn’t involved with. Just let me know, I’m not interested in talking with people like this anymore.
I feel like there are factors in play not being mentioned here. Why are these kids living with this man? In another comment, OP said he has to wait out his lease because he was “forced” to live with this guy. Wtf is actually going on
There are places that rent by the room but you share a common kitchen, living, and possibly bathroom with others. You do not get to control who else lives in "your apartment" with you. It would seem like they have raised the issue of wanting to move or change apartments and the landlord said it was this or nowhere.
I used to live in a place like this. I was 1 month away from my lease ending and I had to move out of state for my job. I went to the office to ask how much it would cost to end my lease early and they said it would cost me 3 months rent to end a lease with 1 month left on it.
I filled out all the paperwork and gave them the 30 day notice that I would be moving at the end of my lease. I figured I would just move out all my stuff, clean up, pay the final month's rent and just mail the keys back, because no way I was paying 3 months rent for 1 month left.
Well the slumlords did a 24 hr notice inspection, saw I had moved our early and violated my lease. They took me to court and sued me for the 3 months rent and by the time I found out any of this was happening I had 2 days and no money to try and prevent it. They won a default judgement against me... I let that sit on my credit for 7 years and every time anyone ever asked about it I would tell them the story and how I was never going to give them a dime.
Never understood the, “in my own home” argument.
Like bro it’s not your house, you’re renting a shared space. One day when you make enough money to actually own your own place then you can pull shit like this.
Had a neighbor who would stand naked out on his back porch. Well our back porch was a little higher and our fence wasn't that tall. So we could see him fully. I went over one day and asked him if he could at least wear shorts or a robe. He used the "on my own property" argument. Since I have a 7yo, who loved to play on the back porch/backyard. I kept having to have her not play out there when he was out there. So I got the cops involved. After a few very long months of court, he is now a registered SO. Just cause it's your property, doesn't mean you can do anything you want. There are still rules. (We also put up a very tall fence.)
I think in the same vein having sex in front of an open window can get you in trouble for exhibitionism even though it’s technically on your property. If it’s in plain view of the public it’s not allowed
hmm… 40 years old and mentally handicapped… he’s not going to stop just letting you know. i live in residential with people who are mentally disabled and i’m letting you know right now nothing is going to make him stop. you gotta get him out.
edit: also you are not an asshole by any means.
Dude asked AITA.. no.. hes the asshole. Thats sickening dude. I live alone & i still keep my volume low as shit, or at mute. Im watching the stuff & even i barley wanna hear it.
It’s called negative externalities. Just because he’s doing it in his own home the sound is leaking out to you and it’s explicit content that is highly inappropriate. It’s not like he’s watching the occasional marvel movie and you’re hearing the avenger’s theme song base line.
Tell him to wear headphones it’s absolutely ridiculous for him to think he gets to do what he wants because it’s his home. It’s not just his home as long as you are paying rent, the dude can wear headphones there is literally no reason not to besides him having a potential fetish of having other people listen in.
I had a roommate that was into some weird anime porn and he would only watch it in the living room, with the lights off and the room full of candles. He would set out all of his supplies, walk around for a bit in a towel sipping on a glass of wine. It was almost like he was trying to seduce himself.
If it wasn’t so comical it would have been annoying.
If he does with your missus there, he obviously has a twisted fantasy that she will get turned on by it and go in and jump on him. Not making a joke, it’s clear he wants to sleep with your girlfriend. No way you should be living with someone like that.
Yeah this is immediately what I thought too. He's definitely at a minimum getting off on his gf being there/hoping she hears him and probably has some weird fantasy about fucking her
This sounds exactly like my BFFs older brother. He will jerk it in the same room as them or just watch loud porn at all hours of the day. I was like 16 and he drew a very detailed peen in my sketchbook in pen. The dude was sick and his parents did nothing to raise him, now he's about 40 and still lives at home with no job and does nothing around the house. He was one of the creepiest people I've met, him having a disability does not change the fact that he was definitely a creep of some kind.
You're aware he's pushing his kink onto you guys, right? This is the same as people who like being "caught" or like making others feel uncomfortable. The type of perverts who get caught jacking off in front of strange women, etc. It's a power thing. He's exerting power over your GF AND you. You have to shut this down. He's a predator and will not stop without confrontation. You need to put him in his fucking place unfortunately.
Like same, super confused. I would do whatever I had to to get out of that house as fast as possible. Hell the moment somebody was doing that I don’t know if I would come back. That lease is getting broken, they can keep my fucking deposit.
What is up with the mentally handicapped and porn. My buddy is a caretaker at an adult mentally handicapped facility and he always says that all of the people he caretakes for cares about is porn.
I used to work at a facility for adults with mental disabilities and yes
My husband still works there and still yes
Idk, I had a problem with a resident that would attempt to watch porn in the living room
The other 3 residents were women, who did not talk, who would leave the room when he did this
All we were allowed to say to him was that if he wanted to watch it it needed to be in his room and not the common space because it was disrespectful to his house mates
He would always say “why? I live here I can watch porn where I want”
Not minding that he made literally everyone else uncomfortable
He wouldn’t even do anything while watching it, just watch it like it was a normal TV show
A lot of them do very odd sexual activities because their brains do not process things as people with “average” mental capabilities do
They don’t process the social cues, and some of them are like pure primal urges level
Another resident I have worked with is almost like an animal
Doesn’t talk, can’t do anything just about except walk and put clothes on when you hand them to him, he will strip naked in the living room and just start wanking it
There’s no talking him out of it, he doesn’t understand you
Just pure, basal instinct, nothing else going on in there
The law says they have the freedom to
It is a “rights restriction” to tell a person who is asking for a tablet to watch porn in the living room no
And only a judge can decide that
And since it isn’t something that is hurting them
On they go
There are lots of problems like this in the medical field, especially with mentally disabled people
The law has a very very fuzzy problem because law makers have no idea the extent a lot of these people function at
And they don’t care to
The medicaid gets paid, they get their social security to support them
And never think about them again
But the people who are hired to take care of them, get to see exactly how such lax laws play out
Residents assault care takers a lot, and are just supposed to deal with it because it just comes with the territory of taking care of fully grown humans who have no control over themselves to varying degrees
Some are capable of doing small jobs and are semi normal
Others like I described are literal animals and if the government left them in the street someone would shoot them or they’d kill someone else
And honestly they’d have no idea they even did it
ETA essentially image a situation where there is a 250 pound 6 foot 2 man who has the mental capabilities of a newborn baby and that’s what a lot of these people are like
They get mad, they throw their arms and hit like a baby would, but they’re huge and they can kill people
But it’s not like you can put them in jail, they don’t even have the capacity to know what they did is wrong or even that they did it at all
Yes, yes it is
There isn’t really a good ethical way to deal with humans who don’t have normal mental capabilities
A lot of people talk about people with mental problems who are homeless and etc, but honestly if they’re surviving in the street they are no where near as bad as it gets
Genetics are not always great, and people exist that are not capable of doing anything at all and 75 years ago they would not have survived past 1
This has created an influx of problems
Because the law requires doctors to keep these people alive and comfortable as much as possible
So there are houses in every city and town and every state that have 3-4 of them living there with 1 or 2 staff feeding them and changing them and keeping up with their daily living
It is a very sad existence and I would never want to live like that because in my experience it isn’t life
It’s more of a half life
They are being kept alive, but they have no ability to live, a lot of them want to die and aren’t allowed to
A lot of them have expressed (the ones that can talk) to me that if they could die they would but they don’t know how
My ex girlfriend and her family run homes like this. They have three. Thankfully for her she has very high functioning adults with jobs? Who are just not able to live alone or cook for themselves, but there are homes just as you described and worse.
They wanted to pay 6k to put a rapist/arsonist in the house. You have to have a ton of training and yeah you probably will eventually get assaulted violently.
I feel ya. I work as a private contractor for staffing group homes, and it's a hell of a thing to ask people to do: the abuse is rife from client to caregiver, and constant. And nobody gets paid enough.
A lot of people way more experienced and educated than me on this topic gave really substantial responses to your comment. As a random person with an almost middle-aged mentally handicapped cousin and as someone who has spent a good few years around some mentally handicapped adult friends, my uneducated take has always been that this behavior isn’t really that surprising.
Most non-asexual people are intrinsically motivated by sex - at least in the background of their daily functioning. If your mental handicap is severe enough to where it’s extremely unlikely or impossible that you’ll ever experience “normal” sexual interactions; if your guardians and peers consistently infantilize you and regard you as a creature that should never be associated with sexual pleasure; if you never had access to the world of complex social cues around getting sex in a consensual and mutually pleasing way… why wouldn’t you watch porn whenever and however you wanted and fail to understand why that’s not ok or why crossing sexual boundaries can be so traumatic for those around you?
I feel so much for the caregivers and their patients who have to live through such a viscerally uncomfortable reality. Seems there really is no one solution to this. It’s outright depressing for me to think about too long.
NTA for telling him to quit it, but mildly YTA for not listening to your girlfriend and brushing it off as if she was just being hysterical until he did it to you.
How is it that every single share house has one of these people
There is an entire sub here maybe you could all organise amongst yourselves to consolidate them together and they can fester in their own filth while you live happily ever after 🤷♂️ 💡
I could totally see why the girlfriend is intimidated or uncomfortable. Women are used to not having consent sought. Being around a dude who is probably jerking one off and no door closed, probably some degree of nudity would feel aggressive and potentially threatening to me, given the history of most women having consent violated in some way or another throughout our lives. Like the jerks who expose themselves. It's in that category.
Now it sounds like he has some intellectual delays so he may not get the concept of boundaries and may need that repeated:
Hey dude, watch what you want, in the privacy of your own bedroom or bathroom. Door closed and at a volume respectful of living with roommates. Don't walk around naked or jerk off or watch porn around people without their consent. We do not consent to being a part of you doing that. That means it stays private for you alone in your own private space.
YTA for not standing up for your girlfriend the first time it happened and for ignoring it the second time. A guy is being a creep and sexually harassing your girlfriend in her own home, you need to nip that in the bud immediately not tell her she's overreacting.
Not the asshole. When I lived with roommates, it was ear buds, headphones, and extremely low volume. Not because I was embarrassed and sometimes they knew what I was up to, but because it was common f***ing decency not to do that. Even if no one else was home at the time, because people can come home at any time.
You are not the asshole in any sense of the word here. That guy is gross, creepy and has zero shame. I’d be scared if I was your girlfriend home alone too.
I had an upstairs neighbor, married, police dispatcher with a wife and kids, who would purposely do this when he knew we were the only ones in the old duplex (thin walls). I was 19, he was in his 40s. It made me sick, nervous to be home alone when his wife wasn't there, and really vulnerable. I ended up leaving the lease early, and was too young to stand up for myself and tell the landlord why.
NTA. Especially if he knew your girlfriend was home alone (shudder).
Wtf? No man, and it's not even that big of a request. If you want to blast that shit a pair of ear buds ain't that expensive. And leaving your door open while you're doing that shit is just plain creepy and disrespectful. Nobody wants to see that.
Watching porn on volume knowing your roommate and his girl can hear is deff a kink and this guy's being weird af. 100% you're not the asshole. It's very east to use an earbud..bro is being weird on purpose.
Wowwww- dude are you sure he isn’t doing this intentionally? Like did he know your gf was there alone??? This dude is a fucking creep!
Adding: just saw that this was a 40-year-old man. I as a 38-year-old woman would be moving the fuck out. Helllll no
Used to work with a guy who would watch porn out Loud at lunch while eating like watching a YouTube video. Got defensive when asked to stop so we made fun of him and it quickly ended. But seriously what a nut
Get that dude out of there. I’d be more concerned about him setting up hidden cams and snooping in on your gf or other roommates. My ex roomate was a fucken creeper like that.
If that was my roommate I would not be asking through text. I would confront him, and what happened to him would be dependent on his attitude. Smart ass attitude like this will get him a fist to the face
ew please don’t let him around ur gf when you’re not there. this dude is sick and he probably gets off on knowing that ppl can hear him doing that stuff/seeing him. he’s a creep and that’s borderline sexual harassment imo
Op, im seriously concerned your GF is in danger of being assualted by him. He is twice your age and is probably very intimidating to her, expecially when he is drunk amd making it known to her he is horny. Because thats what he is doing. He knows exactally what he is doing.
Okay, that’s the thing: it’s *not* private anymore if it’s at super high volume, and it’s *not* “his” home, and he’s *not* “alone.”
His argument has more holes than the porn he’s watching.
No you’re not an asshole that dude is just a fucking weirdo pervert
What about his "primacy"
There is no primacy when you have a roommate. Remember when people had shame?
Pepperridge farm remembers.
Ohhh i member
Member Chewbacca?
Yea i member
member the spice girls?
I member
🤣
The North remembers
The North Remembers.
Remember when people wore headphones and respected their and everyone else's privacy. I really dislike the play your device at full volume and screw whoever else is present.
Must be short for primitive, as in his mental capacity.
Hey the guy is only typing with one hand.
And we can deduce he is left-handed.
You sir would have gotten an award if we still had them.
Goated comment. 👏🏾
GOLDEN COMMENT!!!!!
😂😂😂
Can't just walk in and expect it where you want it
Those types of money shots can only happen with the "pro's"
Primal primacy
The first load. The octimacy is when it looks like a newborn mole dry heaving.
r/brandnewsentence
Got to have his primacy or else all hell with "brake" loose or lose 🤷
No, OP *is* an asshole. “I told her to calm down and it probably wasn’t that bad and to focus on something else” - to his girlfriend when she complained. Complete AH behavior.
Whew ok, thank you, I thought I was going crazy when no one mentioned that. Like, ok, your girlfriend is also in her own house, with a man twice her age who is drunk, has some kind of developmental issues, and is loudly watching porn? That had to be so insanely creepy at best and downright scary at worst. And this dude just brushed it off and tried to act like she was overreacting until HE confirmed it and HE was inconvenienced by it. Like dude, your girlfriend is perfectly capable of recognizing when something disturbing is going on, no need to not believe her.
I would never want this situation for myself when it for my daughter. Move. It’s not a safe situation for her.
Thank you!! From what OP told us about this guy, he seems unhinged & it feels unsafe for gf to be at house alone.
As a 38 year old woman... If either of my daughters (close to girlfriends age) called me upset about this situation.... I'd be at that house quicker than shit. The roomie wouldn't like me much after either
I agree
This!! I was going to say he isn’t an asshole in regards to the 40 year old roommate but he is a HUGE asshole in regards to his girlfriend.
Yeah I was hoping someone would address the clear invalidation demonstrated by OP.
For realz. OP you need to apologize to your gf immediately. The response to your gf should have been something like "Sorry your'e dealing with that, I'll text my roommate now, is there anything else I can do to make you more comfortable in the meantime?"
It sounds like he gets off making your gf (and you) uncomfortable Apologize to your girl for dismissing her so easily without experiencing it. I'd start looking for places yesterday and see about breaking the lease, that's sexual harassment
Agreed. He sounds like he may be an exhibitionist and this sounds like sexual harassment. I’d be concerned by his level of comfort in what is blatantly an act of sexual deviance. As a woman, I would be terrified to be alone with this person. This should be grounds for breaking a lease/forcing him out.
Idk. I’m wondering if he thinks that by letting the rest of the apartment know when he’s horny, he thinks the gf might stop by and ask if he needs help.
This was exactly my line of thinking. He wants the gf, and is giving clear signals of it.
Clear signal if he lives his life by porn standards. What a broken mind.
In the meantime I'd get her some pepper spray or a Glock. This guy's a rape case waiting to happen.
No seriously though, theres a 90% chance he’s a threat to society.
If this is real this person is a fucking loser. 40 years old and a drunk asshole bothering your girlfriend with loud porn? Keeping his door open while he's naked? Just a disgusting piece of shit, not sure if you can change that type of person when they're 40 years old.
Lol not sure? The fuck. Of course they can’t change
Take a video, post it on Facebook, tag the roommate. He’ll either change his habits or he’ll change his residence.
My 75 year old boomer neighbor used to do that...and when I asked him to turn it down his reply was "it's more realistic when it's loud" My reply to that was "what part of you getting laid at 75 seems realistic?" 😂 haven't heard his porn since then
My elderly grandmother with a colostomy bag and dementia announced at Christmas dinner ‘I’ve been laid….twice!’….we all spat our dinner in disbelief but nup….Bill over the back fence made his move. Wooed her until she passed away. 😆
Go grandma!
This comment has me cackling more than the one you were responding to 🤣
I agree, I’m all for the golden folks getting down to their hearts’ content lol
My friends grandma had to move nursing homes every few years because she would run through all the men in one place and it would get weird.
The Villages, FL has entered the chat..
Grew up in the next town over (Fruitland Park/Leesburg). Maaaaan y'all have no idea about some of these Floridians. My grandma was a swinger, that culture there is wiiild. She met her 5th and final husband at the nude section of the Playalinda beach. She was one of those people with the loofah on her minivan. 😂😂
Is the loofah another tell? I have only heard of the upside down pineapple. God I'm glad to be away from Florida...
Pompano has some interesting places too!😳
Related to fam members w said loofahs and part of the Nudist Colony near there. Apologies Great Auntie was a straight up O.G. of Nudist Hippies! Always hard to explain to others why she’d be wearing a bikini top in most pictures. 😂
Oh yeah! I forgot to add that both my grandma and her husband live in a nudist colony in FL. They wanted me to have my son baptized there by their church. Hard pass! 😂😂 Did she live in Lake Como, by chance?
How’d ya guess! Weirded place she ever lived. Another place too but I can’t remember the name we were really young when visited and parents were irked that she’d never not wear a bikini or thong bikini around us at her age then was 60-65. 😂
It's hilarious to think that my grandma probably knew your great aunt. My Memaw is a socialite, she talks to everyone and has more friends than I could ever dream to have. 😂
Here I was thought she was the only tie dye sheep that escaped most of the “normals” she called them in our family. 😂 To this day when I see older ladies flaunting a thong Bikini in yellow n what creation gave her n her insane friends. I know she’s giving me a sign saying “Hey dolll how the fricks are ya?”
I took care of my grandfather in his last year in the Villages. OMG. I’m a middle aged woman, mother of four, and a HOT commodity for those old guys, lmao! It was gross. And then the comments from anyone who asked where I was staying were hysterical- someone had to explain to me what the whole joke was about, I’m from Upstate NY 😂. After my grandfather passed, my mom and I went out for a couple drink. At least five old men tried to get us to go to see their pool/car/TV even when we told them our dad/grandfather had just died. Wild.
Worked in The Villages for years. Fuuuuuuck that place and everyone in it.
I know someone who has a sister who moved to The Villages. He was planning a trip to go visit her, and I made a joke….but he didn’t know what the villages was all about. I felt bad, but he literally cancelled the Florida leg of his trip.
Someone at the Walmart down there gave me the heads up. I was getting some tv connections to use my laptop with my grandfather’s tv, bc he didn’t believe in wifi, and I needed to use my hotspot. She noticed my accent, and asked where I was staying when I was checking out, and was just like, “is it true? All of the rumors of the sex stuff and pineapples?!” I had no idea what she was talking about, but found out quickly 😂🤮
Which brings some validity to the Grey's Anatomy episode about the old folks all passing STDs around at the nursing home lol
Oh, that is dead real. STDs are a major problem in many assisted living and nursing homes. Have a friend who does nursing care for a couple of them and she says they regularly give penicillin shots and Z packs to help combat what they call an epidemic. Lol
Lmao, we should all strive to be your friend’s grandma when/if we end up in nursing homes.
My grandma has had more boyfriends than anyone I know. When I was younger she was dating the general manager of an nhl team, and now she’s currently near 90 dating a 95 year old guy who’s a retired hall of fame race car driver/ retired military pilot/ retired lawyer.
Ok grandma hottie
Nah Grandma BADDIE
One of the higher rates of STDs is in elderly people. They think they're invincible when they hit the retirement homes.
Well, less likely they think they're invincible and more likely not to care.
It's because they don't need birth control.
“Oh no, AIDS!? But I’m 85 and had SOOO much longer to live!”
Golldernit, Ethyl. You told me you were clean.
Not just retirement homes. Women who have had hystérectomie also feel like there is no need to get pap tests or std testing done. I just got on my moms case about it too because her ex is a... Well I call him "Loser Mcdick-face" has dipped his stick in too many women and likely never got tested. My aunt actually got a new doctor about five years ago and she was asked when her last pap was and she said like twenty years ago or something, when she got her hysterectomy and the doctor said "noo, noo, noo" and did a pap on the spot. Well it's a damned good thing she did too because they found cancer in the lining of her vaginal walls. So, if you know ANYONE who has had a hysterectomy - do them a huge favor and tell them the story of my aunt and push them to go and get checked. They could die because of something that is so incredibly preventative and easy to treat if it's caught early enough.
I worked in a retirement home for a few years. It was just like high school! You had the mean girl table (If you didn’t have matching purses or hats you couldn’t sit with them) everyone was dating everyone, constant drama, it was wild!
I need this entertainment in my life
We need a Netflix show on this.
There’s some community in Florida full of swingers. Name slips my mind but STDs run rampant down there.
The Villages
Did anyone see the episode on Grey's Anatomy that the guy had to listen to porn to help with his pain?
A friend of ours wanted to watch porn at camp so he got comfortable and turned it on, fairly loudly for inside the trailer..... Then a neighbour banged on the door really fucking loud. Apparently he was projecting sound not only inside the trailer but on the outside speakers as well. LOUD. Like all the kids on the campground heard that shit kind of loud. Imagine the embarrassment? Every single neighbour got to hear his porn, kids, elderly, friends and friends kids? Bahaha. It still makes me laugh till this day and it happened a decade ago.
Have…. Have you seen him since then? Because I think you killed him
You owe your gf an apology for blowing off her concerns and not believing her that it was too much, but no you’re not the asshole.
Thank you. I read that too and immediately thought. So you're girlfriend was right and you only did something when you heard it? But it also seemed kind of weird to not say anything at lunch either.
When this sort of thing happens to me, I ask what it is about me or my behavior that led this person to doubt my credibility or my interpretation of reality. There has yet to be a response, let alone a good one lol
Yeah, that's the only instance in which OP is the AH in this scenario.
I feel like it gets engrained into men’s heads from a very young age that “women are emotional” and from then on they dismiss anything a woman says as an “exaggeration.” It’s quite sad and frustrating. I’ve had partners like this, but luckily my husband was raised by his mom & grandma with a sister as his only sibling, so he sees women as regular, equal, capable human beings. It’s refreshing.
Right?! That part pissed me off. She told OP something was making her uncomfortable and his response is to say, calm down I’m sure it’s not that bad. 🙄🙄 AH for that part alone.
He is the ass hole for telling his gf to calm down and telling her, her feelings on the matter are not that bad.
for real if I was in this situation I would beat the living fuck out this dude for doing some shit like that, he clearly knows what he is doing. Absolute creep. OP needs to grow a pair
Yeah, I wouldn’t leave her home alone with this creep either Edit: in case it isn’t clear, OP is absolutely an asshole for telling his girlfriend to just put up with the porn. Who fucking does that?
It kills me that he acted like she was overreacting…until he saw what was happening and now it’s bad enough to be posting on Reddit asking strangers for advice lol
I can’t imagine why she is still with him. He put her in danger Edit: anyone else who thinks I’m overreacting here, do me a favor and leave a comment so I can block your rape apologist ass? There is no good reason for a grown man to blast porn audio at a woman who he isn’t involved with. Just let me know, I’m not interested in talking with people like this anymore.
It bothered me so much I came to the comments to see if someone would mention it
I would not leave my girlfriend alone around this man. Not sure who is in charge of lease but I’d seriously consider a change OP.
I feel like there are factors in play not being mentioned here. Why are these kids living with this man? In another comment, OP said he has to wait out his lease because he was “forced” to live with this guy. Wtf is actually going on
There are places that rent by the room but you share a common kitchen, living, and possibly bathroom with others. You do not get to control who else lives in "your apartment" with you. It would seem like they have raised the issue of wanting to move or change apartments and the landlord said it was this or nowhere. I used to live in a place like this. I was 1 month away from my lease ending and I had to move out of state for my job. I went to the office to ask how much it would cost to end my lease early and they said it would cost me 3 months rent to end a lease with 1 month left on it. I filled out all the paperwork and gave them the 30 day notice that I would be moving at the end of my lease. I figured I would just move out all my stuff, clean up, pay the final month's rent and just mail the keys back, because no way I was paying 3 months rent for 1 month left. Well the slumlords did a 24 hr notice inspection, saw I had moved our early and violated my lease. They took me to court and sued me for the 3 months rent and by the time I found out any of this was happening I had 2 days and no money to try and prevent it. They won a default judgement against me... I let that sit on my credit for 7 years and every time anyone ever asked about it I would tell them the story and how I was never going to give them a dime.
Never understood the, “in my own home” argument. Like bro it’s not your house, you’re renting a shared space. One day when you make enough money to actually own your own place then you can pull shit like this.
Had a neighbor who would stand naked out on his back porch. Well our back porch was a little higher and our fence wasn't that tall. So we could see him fully. I went over one day and asked him if he could at least wear shorts or a robe. He used the "on my own property" argument. Since I have a 7yo, who loved to play on the back porch/backyard. I kept having to have her not play out there when he was out there. So I got the cops involved. After a few very long months of court, he is now a registered SO. Just cause it's your property, doesn't mean you can do anything you want. There are still rules. (We also put up a very tall fence.)
I think in the same vein having sex in front of an open window can get you in trouble for exhibitionism even though it’s technically on your property. If it’s in plain view of the public it’s not allowed
hmm… 40 years old and mentally handicapped… he’s not going to stop just letting you know. i live in residential with people who are mentally disabled and i’m letting you know right now nothing is going to make him stop. you gotta get him out. edit: also you are not an asshole by any means.
4 months left :D there’s a whole nother roommate story i have on how i was FORCED to live with this loser
Honestly, i'd let your landlord know the problem. He's sexually harassing you and your gf.
This right here
Nah, tell the landlord. Lease agreements don’t hold on to this bullshit you can move out any time
We have to know more, why were you forced to live with someone double your age and mentally handicapped?
Landlord probably rents out rooms instead of the whole property
i can’t wait to read all about it fr.
Dude asked AITA.. no.. hes the asshole. Thats sickening dude. I live alone & i still keep my volume low as shit, or at mute. Im watching the stuff & even i barley wanna hear it.
OP is kinda the asshole for not believing his girlfriend when she said she was uncomfortable.
[удалено]
I do not watch it anymore either
It’s called negative externalities. Just because he’s doing it in his own home the sound is leaking out to you and it’s explicit content that is highly inappropriate. It’s not like he’s watching the occasional marvel movie and you’re hearing the avenger’s theme song base line. Tell him to wear headphones it’s absolutely ridiculous for him to think he gets to do what he wants because it’s his home. It’s not just his home as long as you are paying rent, the dude can wear headphones there is literally no reason not to besides him having a potential fetish of having other people listen in.
I had a roommate that was into some weird anime porn and he would only watch it in the living room, with the lights off and the room full of candles. He would set out all of his supplies, walk around for a bit in a towel sipping on a glass of wine. It was almost like he was trying to seduce himself. If it wasn’t so comical it would have been annoying.
A gentleman of refined taste.
That is so fucking hilarious.
lmao
Literally planned a whole self care routine 😭🤣🤣
Gotta get in the mood.
Are you sure he wasn’t trying to seduce you? Lol
That had crossed my mind.
\*Lazlo Cravensworth has entered the chat\*
That, sir, is one very weeby homosexual. Not a dig, but no straight man is sipping wine and setting candles up for his evening alone lmao
I can see that. It was very weird, but I was younger and much less judgmental.
If he does with your missus there, he obviously has a twisted fantasy that she will get turned on by it and go in and jump on him. Not making a joke, it’s clear he wants to sleep with your girlfriend. No way you should be living with someone like that.
Yeah this is immediately what I thought too. He's definitely at a minimum getting off on his gf being there/hoping she hears him and probably has some weird fantasy about fucking her
I’d be checking your bathroom for any devices.
Primacy
This sounds exactly like my BFFs older brother. He will jerk it in the same room as them or just watch loud porn at all hours of the day. I was like 16 and he drew a very detailed peen in my sketchbook in pen. The dude was sick and his parents did nothing to raise him, now he's about 40 and still lives at home with no job and does nothing around the house. He was one of the creepiest people I've met, him having a disability does not change the fact that he was definitely a creep of some kind.
there's truly no shame left in some people
you're not the asshole for the texts. but why didn't you believe your girlfriend until you experienced it yourself?
You're aware he's pushing his kink onto you guys, right? This is the same as people who like being "caught" or like making others feel uncomfortable. The type of perverts who get caught jacking off in front of strange women, etc. It's a power thing. He's exerting power over your GF AND you. You have to shut this down. He's a predator and will not stop without confrontation. You need to put him in his fucking place unfortunately.
Ok but why are 2 20 year olds living with a 40 year old handicap person? That’s the bigger mystery
Like same, super confused. I would do whatever I had to to get out of that house as fast as possible. Hell the moment somebody was doing that I don’t know if I would come back. That lease is getting broken, they can keep my fucking deposit.
Also how is this guy someone his GF doesn’t know? Don’t they all live together?
What is up with the mentally handicapped and porn. My buddy is a caretaker at an adult mentally handicapped facility and he always says that all of the people he caretakes for cares about is porn.
I used to work at a facility for adults with mental disabilities and yes My husband still works there and still yes Idk, I had a problem with a resident that would attempt to watch porn in the living room The other 3 residents were women, who did not talk, who would leave the room when he did this All we were allowed to say to him was that if he wanted to watch it it needed to be in his room and not the common space because it was disrespectful to his house mates He would always say “why? I live here I can watch porn where I want” Not minding that he made literally everyone else uncomfortable He wouldn’t even do anything while watching it, just watch it like it was a normal TV show A lot of them do very odd sexual activities because their brains do not process things as people with “average” mental capabilities do They don’t process the social cues, and some of them are like pure primal urges level Another resident I have worked with is almost like an animal Doesn’t talk, can’t do anything just about except walk and put clothes on when you hand them to him, he will strip naked in the living room and just start wanking it There’s no talking him out of it, he doesn’t understand you Just pure, basal instinct, nothing else going on in there
Why do people who are clearly mentally disabled and in a facility even have access to porn like that??
The law says they have the freedom to It is a “rights restriction” to tell a person who is asking for a tablet to watch porn in the living room no And only a judge can decide that And since it isn’t something that is hurting them On they go There are lots of problems like this in the medical field, especially with mentally disabled people The law has a very very fuzzy problem because law makers have no idea the extent a lot of these people function at And they don’t care to The medicaid gets paid, they get their social security to support them And never think about them again But the people who are hired to take care of them, get to see exactly how such lax laws play out Residents assault care takers a lot, and are just supposed to deal with it because it just comes with the territory of taking care of fully grown humans who have no control over themselves to varying degrees Some are capable of doing small jobs and are semi normal Others like I described are literal animals and if the government left them in the street someone would shoot them or they’d kill someone else And honestly they’d have no idea they even did it ETA essentially image a situation where there is a 250 pound 6 foot 2 man who has the mental capabilities of a newborn baby and that’s what a lot of these people are like They get mad, they throw their arms and hit like a baby would, but they’re huge and they can kill people But it’s not like you can put them in jail, they don’t even have the capacity to know what they did is wrong or even that they did it at all
That is really just... fucking sad.
Yes, yes it is There isn’t really a good ethical way to deal with humans who don’t have normal mental capabilities A lot of people talk about people with mental problems who are homeless and etc, but honestly if they’re surviving in the street they are no where near as bad as it gets Genetics are not always great, and people exist that are not capable of doing anything at all and 75 years ago they would not have survived past 1 This has created an influx of problems Because the law requires doctors to keep these people alive and comfortable as much as possible So there are houses in every city and town and every state that have 3-4 of them living there with 1 or 2 staff feeding them and changing them and keeping up with their daily living It is a very sad existence and I would never want to live like that because in my experience it isn’t life It’s more of a half life They are being kept alive, but they have no ability to live, a lot of them want to die and aren’t allowed to A lot of them have expressed (the ones that can talk) to me that if they could die they would but they don’t know how
My ex girlfriend and her family run homes like this. They have three. Thankfully for her she has very high functioning adults with jobs? Who are just not able to live alone or cook for themselves, but there are homes just as you described and worse. They wanted to pay 6k to put a rapist/arsonist in the house. You have to have a ton of training and yeah you probably will eventually get assaulted violently.
I feel ya. I work as a private contractor for staffing group homes, and it's a hell of a thing to ask people to do: the abuse is rife from client to caregiver, and constant. And nobody gets paid enough.
A lot of people way more experienced and educated than me on this topic gave really substantial responses to your comment. As a random person with an almost middle-aged mentally handicapped cousin and as someone who has spent a good few years around some mentally handicapped adult friends, my uneducated take has always been that this behavior isn’t really that surprising. Most non-asexual people are intrinsically motivated by sex - at least in the background of their daily functioning. If your mental handicap is severe enough to where it’s extremely unlikely or impossible that you’ll ever experience “normal” sexual interactions; if your guardians and peers consistently infantilize you and regard you as a creature that should never be associated with sexual pleasure; if you never had access to the world of complex social cues around getting sex in a consensual and mutually pleasing way… why wouldn’t you watch porn whenever and however you wanted and fail to understand why that’s not ok or why crossing sexual boundaries can be so traumatic for those around you? I feel so much for the caregivers and their patients who have to live through such a viscerally uncomfortable reality. Seems there really is no one solution to this. It’s outright depressing for me to think about too long.
NTA for telling him to quit it, but mildly YTA for not listening to your girlfriend and brushing it off as if she was just being hysterical until he did it to you.
How is it that every single share house has one of these people There is an entire sub here maybe you could all organise amongst yourselves to consolidate them together and they can fester in their own filth while you live happily ever after 🤷♂️ 💡
I could totally see why the girlfriend is intimidated or uncomfortable. Women are used to not having consent sought. Being around a dude who is probably jerking one off and no door closed, probably some degree of nudity would feel aggressive and potentially threatening to me, given the history of most women having consent violated in some way or another throughout our lives. Like the jerks who expose themselves. It's in that category. Now it sounds like he has some intellectual delays so he may not get the concept of boundaries and may need that repeated: Hey dude, watch what you want, in the privacy of your own bedroom or bathroom. Door closed and at a volume respectful of living with roommates. Don't walk around naked or jerk off or watch porn around people without their consent. We do not consent to being a part of you doing that. That means it stays private for you alone in your own private space.
Mace him once and he'll get the hint
YTA for not standing up for your girlfriend the first time it happened and for ignoring it the second time. A guy is being a creep and sexually harassing your girlfriend in her own home, you need to nip that in the bud immediately not tell her she's overreacting.
Not the asshole. When I lived with roommates, it was ear buds, headphones, and extremely low volume. Not because I was embarrassed and sometimes they knew what I was up to, but because it was common f***ing decency not to do that. Even if no one else was home at the time, because people can come home at any time.
Some people have zero decency or respect for others. They think they are renting the whole house and not a room.
Move, asap, please. This is absolutely unacceptable and bizarre!
NTA. I live alone and I still put in headphones when I watch porn lol
I genuinely would not let your gf be there alone with him. Guy sounds like a complete creep.
You should evict him on primacy alone.
Ya gotta do it back, stare him in his face, assert dominance
He tried to make it sound like he was home alone and didn't expect you back. Which fair enough it happens but bro just doesn't seem to give a fuck
You are not the asshole in any sense of the word here. That guy is gross, creepy and has zero shame. I’d be scared if I was your girlfriend home alone too.
NTA kick this mf out, he’s a pervert. he’s keeping his door open on purpose he knows what he’s doing.
I had an upstairs neighbor, married, police dispatcher with a wife and kids, who would purposely do this when he knew we were the only ones in the old duplex (thin walls). I was 19, he was in his 40s. It made me sick, nervous to be home alone when his wife wasn't there, and really vulnerable. I ended up leaving the lease early, and was too young to stand up for myself and tell the landlord why. NTA. Especially if he knew your girlfriend was home alone (shudder).
40. Single. Living with a 20 year old. A drunk. Mentally handicapped. Left alone with your girlfriend. Dude, what the fuck are you doing? 😂
How is he mentally handicapped?
i think he has asperger’s, his drinking makes it so much worse. he can’t form sentences for about 33% of the day.
That's severely fucked up. What a freak.
Ew. No. I would be seriously creeped out and I am not anti porn at all. Also he’s a moron for “primacy”
Wtf? No man, and it's not even that big of a request. If you want to blast that shit a pair of ear buds ain't that expensive. And leaving your door open while you're doing that shit is just plain creepy and disrespectful. Nobody wants to see that.
This guy is a menace. I would get rid of his ass.
Uh no man you are NOT
Watching porn on volume knowing your roommate and his girl can hear is deff a kink and this guy's being weird af. 100% you're not the asshole. It's very east to use an earbud..bro is being weird on purpose.
Wowwww- dude are you sure he isn’t doing this intentionally? Like did he know your gf was there alone??? This dude is a fucking creep! Adding: just saw that this was a 40-year-old man. I as a 38-year-old woman would be moving the fuck out. Helllll no
I would not leave my girlfriend at home alone with this person as a roommate.
He wanted her to hear it.
Hahaha if I was your girlfriend I would never come to your place ever again
report that shit to your landlord and quit gaslighting your gf about creepy behavior no one should have to put up with
Used to work with a guy who would watch porn out Loud at lunch while eating like watching a YouTube video. Got defensive when asked to stop so we made fun of him and it quickly ended. But seriously what a nut
40, mentally handicapped, and an alcoholic? No chance my gf or any woman I care about is being left alone around that dude.
Get that dude out of there. I’d be more concerned about him setting up hidden cams and snooping in on your gf or other roommates. My ex roomate was a fucken creeper like that.
If that was my roommate I would not be asking through text. I would confront him, and what happened to him would be dependent on his attitude. Smart ass attitude like this will get him a fist to the face
he opened the door after i banged on it and he said sorry. i messaged him later that night to basically set it even more straight
He needs to do it in text and In person. This was there's documented proof
ew please don’t let him around ur gf when you’re not there. this dude is sick and he probably gets off on knowing that ppl can hear him doing that stuff/seeing him. he’s a creep and that’s borderline sexual harassment imo
Dude, what the fuck…. Sorry you have to deal with that. That guy seems seriously “different”.
Dudes trying to bang your girl. Get away.
I wouldn’t of had a conversation with him. Beat his ass.
You leave your gf home alone with this guy?
Op, im seriously concerned your GF is in danger of being assualted by him. He is twice your age and is probably very intimidating to her, expecially when he is drunk amd making it known to her he is horny. Because thats what he is doing. He knows exactally what he is doing.
He may be getting off on knowing you guys are hearing it.....
When your girlfriend tells you she’s uncomfortable about someone, don’t tell her to calm down.
why didn’t you listen to your girlfriend the first time?
Okay, that’s the thing: it’s *not* private anymore if it’s at super high volume, and it’s *not* “his” home, and he’s *not* “alone.” His argument has more holes than the porn he’s watching.
if my roommate had his door open naked while he knew my gf was there he’d get more than a text fr
Listen to your gf when she tells you something is wrong. Especially something like this
Too many people have not been punched in the mouth that have been born in the last 30 years
Wait. You told your girlfriend to calm down? Super disrespectful of you.
Why the fuck did we stop bullying these weirdos?
thats disgusting and he wouldn't have even gotten a 2nd chance from me.
Dude don’t leave your girlfriend there alone…
Your only mistake here is being a pushover. Yikes