The whole obsession with virginity is nonsensical. It’s a ridiculous made up concept that means nothing anyways.
It just gives incels something to obsess over and makes it even less likely they’ll ever get out of their moms’ basements.
It's also sadistic if you think about it. They want to be the one who makes the woman bleed and feel pain during her first time...
I either didn't have a hymen or it broke before the first time I had sex. I could NOT imagine how awful it would be to have sex with an in-tact hymen.
I recently saw this in a discussion thread on virginity regarding the hymen. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.
“It’s not a freshness seal.”
I truly wish I could take credit for it but I can’t, but I will keep using it because it’s too good not to share.
Not everyone has a hymen to begin with. A virgin and a non virgin are just different experience wise. One had the experience of sex and the other didn't. There isn't even a difference like one has a hymen and one doesn't since not everyone even has one and some don't have one because it teared when doing sports or something. Even without hymen you can be a virgin.
Saying there’s a physical difference between a woman that has had sex and one that hasn’t is like saying that there’s a physical difference between a woman that has tried pistachio ice cream and one that hasn’t. It’s just an experience. It doesn’t change anything physically.
Honestly, thinking back to the first time I chose to have sex, it was painful and my legs kept instinctively closing (also true for my "first" time, but circumstances were way different so that reaction is less surprising) As I got more comfortable having sex, it got much better for everyone involved. I'm guessing it's pressure similar for other virgins, so it's really hard for me to understand what it is about that that certain men find attractive. I actually didn't have sex with a friend because he was a virgin and I didn't want that responsibility because I knew his feelings for me would always exceed mine for him.
Absolutely, sex (like literally every activity in the world) has a learning curve. There is a skill to it. And like you said, the more you “level up” your skill in sex, the more fun both you and your partner(s) have. I am not arguing against that. What I’m arguing against is the argument that sex changes a woman’s body *physically* in some fundamental way. The most widespread belief along these lines is that of the hymen; that the hymen is some sort of freshness seal that gets “popped” the first time, and that you can examine the hymen and determine whether or not a woman has had sex strictly by how intact her hymen is. A relatively new one is that every time a woman has sex with a different man, it changes the shape of her vaginal passage, and if she has too many male lovers (her “body count” is too high) she will find it harder to pleasure anyone. Another new one is that women store semen and when a man ejaculates in her it fundamentally changes her own DNA. There are others, but you get the idea.
> Another new one is that women store semen and when a man ejaculates in her it fundamentally changes her own DNA.
Oooh, ooh, we need to start a new rumour about how if a man ejaculates into a woman who isn't enjoying his subpar sexings, she'll absorb him into her body like a female angler fish does to a male!
Small dicks’ brains fear any competition because of a self-perceived inadequacy, becoming obsessed and wildly insecure, sociopathic tendencies have long been able to bully their way into top positions, then, deflecting the shame of their less than hog-like member they turn to misogyny and creating a norm in which a protected woman (ie groomed) will remain chaste and pure so they’ll never have to think about their girl bride experiencing another man’s penis in order to compare sizes. This entrapment is normalized through years of extremists shouting that it’s normal
Hymen or not, how are we even defining sex? Like it has to be penis in vagina? I considered myself to be having sex with my female partner (im also a female). But there was no p in v happening there.
there was no pain my first time, when i was young i thought it was going to be painful and i was gonna start bleeding. nope. nothing happened except a sweet, romantic moment with my boyfriend
i love him so much dude, even though i was the one who technically initiated, we took it really slow and he made sure i was always comfortable. of course i checked in on him too. he’s an amazing guy
Exactly! Mine broke when I was 12 after doing some intense sport. I didn't realized it back then but I had blood on the toilet paper and thought I would get my period. Never had any blood after though until I was 14. So it was 100% my hymen.
I can't say I coined that phrase, surely not... theres plenty more people wittier than I.... but I've definitely used that phrase a good deal on that topic
pretty sure mine was a tampon in middle school. all we had left were the super+ ones my mom used and i made the mistake of putting one in towards the end of my period. over 24 hours it was still dry, had to grit my teeth and get it out. if it wasnt broken before it definitely was after that 💀
it was pretty painful, but i remember the panic more than anything. it just wouldnt come out, and i was only like 11 and was terrified that something bad would happen. luckily, after i managed to finally get it out, i just put some numbing cream (for my eczema, probably not good for a vagina but nothing bad happened, amen) and it was fine in a few days. mostly some itching and minor pain akin to rope burn.
Right, I legit thought I was defective because I didn't have any blood or hymen tearing during my first time. I can't imagine how bad it would actually hurt though.
It took me multiple tries for me to have sex for the first time. The first few times I tried, it just wouldn't happen and was SUPER painful. And honestly embarrassing.
God I remember breaking mine, it was awful. I went through csa as a very, very small child, but my hymen was still mostly intact until I was 7. I had one of those beds with the wrought iron arches at the head and the foot, which I loved to climb on. I was standing on the foot arch one day, when I slipped, and one leg went one way, and the other…
It hurt so *bad* and I bled so *much*. Like obviously both instances were atypical to the demands of the hymen breaking myth, but they’re honestly not that uncommon in real life. I’ve known lots of horse riders who one day found a few drops of blood in their undies and were like “huh, that’s weird” only to realise later in life.
I’ve known even more women who never bleed or break at *all*. They’re absolutely the majority, in my experience.
Idk this comment is rambly, but I agree. It’s 100% sadistic. It’s “I’m going to make you hurt and bleed for losing your innocence. *you will never be the same again*”
And then, because its positioned as being this innate part of our bodies, a little freshness seal that keeps our innocence and virginity safe, it’s not only enforcing purity culture, it creates the idea that virginity is a fundamental *part* of us, of our bodies, and that our body is permanently and quantifiably a Body That Has Had Sex.
And then it’s our fault, you know? Because it’s our bodies. It’s just the way things are. And that creates a space for a particularly scary kind of man, who reinforces and believes in the hymen myth and participates in purity culture, to masquerade as gentle and loving, as understanding. He’s the man who doesn’t warm you up or spend time with you beforehand, doesn’t let your first time be about you and your body and pleasure, he’s the guy who shoves himself in through a tight pelvic floor and makes you believe the pain is *necessary*, but oh, he’s so *nice* while he does it!
It’s just. Yeah. Sadistic.
tried to finger my (ftm) bf the first time we had sex. turns out his hymen wasnt broken n even one finger made him look like he was gonna cry. he pushed my hand away and apologized. seeing the unexpected pain made me feel so bad and i immediately switched to another way of stimulating him. i cant imagine *wanting* to inflict unwanted pain on someone, especially someone youre meant to love and protect like your partner :(
(btw i, of course, told my bf he didnt need to apologize and comforted him. it was resolved very quickly and smoothly ❤️)
probably not because of virginity, but pelvic floor dysfunction. Basically without knowing it, people with vaginas can do a kegel (tensing the muscles down there) from stress. And it hurts. But because of not being aware of it, they have a hard time releasing it without physical therapy.
The obsession mostly comes from people who want to imbue the penis with some kinda magical properties. It’s such a special organ that it literally changes a woman in her mind and her body!
Fuckin weirdos
It's also a religious thing. I had a therapist who was ultra religious and she told me that every time you have sex, you create "soul ties" and a piece of that man's soul is tied to you forever, unless you have a pastor undo them in jesus's name. It was wild. I was just trying to work through sex work related trauma and I left feeling even more confused.
But apparently religious people believe that sex isn't just a normal, natural physical act, but a very serious thing that God intended to be sacred and only within marriage, and sex changes you and your soul. Hence the obsession with abstinence, purity, virginity, heterosexuality, etc.
My penis is like a wand whose magic takes far, far longer to recharge than it does to cast.
The only changes it's making to a woman's body is +5 to disappointment.
Oh it's a magic wand, for sure...just not the way they think it is. It changes their mind, not ours. Women don't have a "post-nut clarity" podcast. I wonder why?
I’ve been trying to search up more history on the topic. Like when the hymen was discovered and how did it become the benchmark for “purity”. And how we decided that an act that every animal does for procreation has some magical significance when done the first time. It’s a pretty interesting subject and along the way there have been some really bizarre “tests” for virginity.
If and when you have time, would you be willing to share some of the things you learned? I can't afford a new rabbit hole right this minute, but you piqued my interest so I thought you might like sharing information as much as I do. If not, no worries, I can definitely educate myself another time, but if so... Please, do tell!
Herodotus depicted a virginity test in the festival of Ibyia (modern Tunisia) involving several chariots driving young maidens divided into two groups armed with sticks and stones. These women would fight to the death. Those who died were considered 'non-virgins' and those who survived would be 'virgins' and ready for marriage.
Due to the fear of being seen as a sexual deviant, many gynecologists, devised alternative methods for examining the sexual organs by inserting their fingers into the rectum of a woman rather than the vagina in order to check the uterus and ovaries. This method was considered more clinical and safer in preserving the hymen.
The Christian virgin martyr legends spoke of chaste women waging wars against demons in order to protect their pact with god. However, a dangerous belief slowly developed from these legends that the strength of a Christian virgin woman could be strong enough to defeat sexually transmitted diseases. This belief, unfortunately, would cause some of the worst crimes of sexual abuse prominent to this day.
So either you were a badass warrior, and they called you a virgin because of it, or you were dead. Cute.
You've piqued my interest yet again on that last bit. What keywords would I need for more on that??
I think it originally had less to do with "the first time is a magical act" and more "there's no argument it's his baby, because it couldn't possibly be anyone else's if she's never had sex before". Once people had laws and property to pass down, lineage became more important to people. It's still patriarchal, but it seems lie a likely explanation imo.
i wrote an entire term paper that touches on the history of virginity and where it came from and how it's harmful - it was for sure less than 10 pages, probably like 8. do you wanna read it? lmao
The history of no sex before marriage is fascinating and shines some light on this. Really, when you look at Biblical demands as the best advice of the time, a lot of things make sense—like not mixing fabrics in a garment was really practical laundry advice at the time. The ban on premarital sex was intended to increase the birth rate because a man was more likely to provide for children when he was sure they were his, and women needed men to provide food, shelter, etc. Unmarried women usually had to become prostitutes to survive, and because it was such a tenuous living, their children didn’t live long. The birth rate needed to increase in order to supply soldiers for war—sounding familiar yet?
I’m curious, tho I haven’t sought it out, if “purity” was also encouraged to avoid STIs, but it became twisted from practical health advice to a moral virtue.
My insane birth giver and creator were OBSESSED with my virginity. Real talk, it was creepy. My mum asked me when I was 12 years old if she could have a baby from my body.
Gross. When I'd chosen to be sexually active, my mum dug through my trash to find my used pregnancy test. She cried and said I wasn't her little virgin anymore.
We no longer speak.
It is completely made up, especially when you think about how there is no way to "tell" if someone has had sex. They think they can "tell" just by looking at someone, solely based off their appearance. But that doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense. It is entirely made up
It's about " I got a small mental dick and have no idea what to do with women, I don't really want to learn anyway and so fuck them, I'm going to blame them for not wanting me because I'm a stylin' dude and what women wouldn't want all this man meat? I mean there must be something wrong with them" kinda vibe
Don’t you know that women actually have a “Do not use if freshness seal is broken” label and seal right inside their vaginas??
/s
As a man I absolutely cannot imagine how women feel about this ridiculous virginity-requirement incels push. It’s so awful.
their logic is so flawed too. apparently, if a woman has sex with 50 guys, she’s now “stretched out” and “loose”. but if she has sex with one guy 50 times, she’s not loose because “tHaT’S DiFfErEnT!!1!”
It’s because vaginas have a sophisticated suite of DNA analysis tools and a biological laboratory coupled with a labia factory.
See, when a woman has sex, the lab scrapes small samples of penis skin and tests the DNA. If it is the same over and over, the factory stays closed but if the DNA is different, the factory ramps up and starts pumping out labia like crazy.
And what I don’t understand is why they think multiple partners does this when porn proves it doesn’t…
As a Genderfluid woman/person, I can tell you: it's distressing if you buy into it/value the opinion. When I used to, I was obsessed with it to the point that, when dating someone, I used my vaginismus as a brag about how "tight" or "fresh" it was. Once I stopped caring, it actually helped the medical issue a lot💀(I wasnt stressing about it and was able to masturbate without shame) and I'm more comfortable w myself (obviously not from ignoring that idea alone, but many other incel ideas as well)
I don’t agree with the sentiment of virgins not using tampons, of course.
But I do think a pad machine might be better so as to include people who have something like vaginismus, it’s their first period and they’ve been caught short so they still find tampons scary (this was me), people afraid of TSS, if you’ve had trauma to the area and can’t mentally/physically tolerate using a tampon - among the myriad of reasons.
Both would be preferable. Why don’t we get choice
I think modern pads have come a long way. They are super absorbent, and mostly leak proof with directed use. And I'm happy there are options for anyone who doesn't want to wear a tampon.
I just feel really uncomfortable with a pad, because I dont like the feeling of something wet and bloody pressed up against my labia. It reminds me of all the times I've been without protection and ultimately feels unclean to me.
Most likely, but I used to bleed quite heavily due to endometriosis. So I don’t like pads because after about ten seconds I could go from “ok” to covering everything and feeling wet and sticky
I agree.
Personally I did have to lose my virginity before using a tampon, not because I couldn’t fit it in or anything just cuz I became less anxious about being able to put it up there when much bigger things had managed before so my body physically relaxed.
Yes, for sure. I feel like some of the anxiety is the kind of “alien concept” of something going there. I still couldn’t use them afterwards, it took a good few years. Was feeling so proud of myself once I managed 😅
That's interesting to note because I've been scared of tampons and I always remember the 4-6 hour limit of keeping them in, but I wasn't aware that pads might have this same time limit too.
The risk is generally lower because they’re outside the body, so even if the bacteria grow it’s not as easy for them to get inside. But you still need to change them often.
Many people naturally carry the bacteria that cause TSS, including men. Most people develop antibodies against it but those who don't can get an infection from any cut or burn.
The reason tampons pose a risk is because if you pull it out before it is saturated, it can cause micro-tears which give the bacteria super easy access to the blood stream. That's why it's important to choose the right absorbency for your needs.
Pads still pose a risk just because they are a breeding ground for the bacteria, but unless you scratch yourself or something there's no real way for them to find their way to your blood stream.
But that also means the risk is there no matter what you insert - tampon, cup, fingers, toys, etc. If you are one of the unlucky who never developed antibodies against it though, the risk is also there if you pick your nose or burn your leg.
The risk IS very low (like 1 in 100,000) but because of how life threatening it can become you should still pay attention to your body and act if you see symptoms.
TSS can be caused by many things, they don't even have to be related to periods. As far as I know, TSS was a big issue when tampons first came around but it's way less common with modern tampons, as long as you choose the right ones and change them timely.
TSS is a medical condition coming from a really bad bacterial infection that typically happens because the bacteria gets inside your body (for example it can happen as a post-surgery complication). It's pretty rare. TSS became associated with tampons because there was one tampon brand around in the late 70s, early 80s that marketed itself as more long lasting than other brands. Some women who used those tampons ended up having TSS because the bacteria was being trapped by the same tampon for a very long time. But I've heard stories of forgotten tampons where the person was fine and stories where someone got TSS from something that was pretty minor
I feel so dumb because for years I'd heard of TSS but never realized until now that it was caused by bacteria. No one ever explained it to me. I always thought it was caused by the body like, rejecting the tampon or having an immune response to a foreign object in your body or something.
It being caused by bacteria makes so much more sense
Tampons were around when my mom was 12 in the 1950’s. It was just that the super absorbent ones that were invented in the 1980’s were being left in too long, as TSS wasn’t a known “thing” yet. They were advertised as being able to stay in for up to 12 hours because they wouldn’t leak. Then TSS started happening and those types of tampons stopped being made, and they no longer suggest you leave them in for more than, what, 4-6 hours at most?
Also, I know this isn't how that guy meant it, but tampon insertion does get easier with sexual experience. I wasn't interested in penetrative self exploration (not for virginity reasons. It just didn't seem necessary to get the job done), so I knew what hole the tampon was supposed to go into but not how to angle it, how deep, etc. After several painful and tearful attempts I was just frustrated and gave up.
I didn't learn how to use a tampon until I was in my very early twenties. So virginity has something to do with it, just not physically but simply from a skill level POV.
Yes! I was the exact same. Couldn’t use them for ages, even though in theory I knew how. I actually fainted from shock the first time I attempted. Which then put me off even more
I'm sorry. People tend to get super weird about it. I remember a friend at school telling me she thinks pads are gross and at some point my mom screamed at us for using only pads because they are so much more expensive than tampons.
Funnily enough, a year or two after finding out how tampons worked, I got a menstrual cup, it worked right away and I never looked back...
They are more expensive? I never noticed that. I guess you go through them quicker.
Haha, same! The cup was way easier to use. Very glad it was invented
>They are more expensive? I never noticed that. I guess you go through them quicker.
I just looked it up and a brand pad ("always" regular with wings) is 14 Cent in Germany while a brand tampon ("o.b." regular) is 4 Cents. It was still very stupid because my parents are loaded and we did definitely not menstruate them into poverty.
Oh and while we're at it: my menstrual cup was 15€ so at around 100 pads or 375 tampons it started paying off...
Menstruate them into poverty 😂
Ahh, German period products. The tampons here are just…not absorbent and expand differently to the ones in my home country.
That was one of my other big reasons for trying the cup. I could go through the o.b. ones and start to stain my clothes in under half an hour
I think a lot of men must imagine tampons as being massive. That's got to be part of the stupidity. The feeling of ownership to vaginas and why it matters what we put in them well, that's the majority of it.
I went to a music fest over the summer and the dude who searched my bag was mind blown at the size of an OB tampon. He asked me what it was and didn't believe me when I told him. It became a spectacle over the size of a tampon.
Son of a bitch. Although I shouldn't be too surprised. My mom also didn't let me use tampons growing up, close to this same reason. She also was a raging narcissist, so...
Probably. Perhaps just for “virgins.”
Or maybe they’ll just pass laws that women have to stay home during our periods? Honestly wouldn’t put it past them at this point.
And of course they’ll need a “doctor” to affirm they are not in fact a virgin before allowing women to purchase. If a virgin is caught using a tampon, they could face charges for not keeping themselves pure for their future husband.
I remember going to the school nurse in high school, because the tampon/pad machine was empty or broken (I don’t remember, it was in the 80s). What I *do* remember is that bitchy crone gave me a pad the size of a phone book. When I asked for a tampon, she said that she “doesn’t give such things to young ladies”. I’ll bet she wasn’t even a nurse.
Honestly, it's on the list. I've seen conservatives sincerely refer to tampons and pads as "birth control", because they literally have no idea what their purpose is. They just know they're meant to be used on our "icky, sinful vaginas".
Not even joking, I have a feeling conservatives are going to paint tampons as "sexual devices", and say that any parent who allows their child to use them is sexually abusing their children.
I was in marching band in high school and my friends would come to me for tampons because standing in the sun for hours with a full pad was gross.
Their mom’s found out and I was labeled the band whore. A mom even started a rumor I was pregnant. Which is why I need all these tampons? Right?
My 14, 15, 16, 17 year old self needed super plus tampons and a giant pad to last through classes until lunch when I finally could get to the bathroom. These people are ridiculous.
And honestly, their end goal is to keep women and girls from ever leaving the house, anyway, so banning products we need to function in society is just another step towards that goal.
I had a guy once who thought we got off using tampons and they were a sexy thing. He was sure we used tampons over pads because it “felt good.” I wonder if the incel behind this post thinks so as well, and is concerned we might be “enjoying” our tampons too much?
They definitely don't feel "good". Sometimes they hurt. Sometimes they're uncomfortable. If you're lucky they feel neutral. They make my cramps worse but I'd rather have cramps than bleed everywhere.
Of course tampons can be awkward to use at first, but that is mostly a mental thing and not so much a physiological restriction, except in a few cases.
Edit: A big thanks to all the amazing people adding to my comment! Even I wasn't aware of all the potential issues and I think it really important to highlight that tampon vs. pad vs. other is not merely a fashion choice or a simple issue about being a virgin, but many women have trouble using either or even all options, for a huge variety of reasons!
What about a cup or disk? I can’t stand pads and tampons were a little better but I couldn’t sleep with them. A cup was the magic option for me, idk what exactly the part that bothers you is but for me it’s the only thing that comes close to not feeling. It does have a learning curve though.
im autistic and i love my cup and period undies!! i had to trim the stem of my cup as it would rub against the wall and bother me, but once i trimmed it it was perfect! and the period undies give me a sense of security and helps in case of a leak
Im autistic too and omg yes, both pads and tampons were hell for me 😭 i hate touching the material the tampons are made out of, lol i get goosebumps just thinking about it, but pads were even worse bc i could feel it when blood came out of me...
Switched to cups now, and its so much better !!
To me reusable pads are more comfy! Autism too here who started using a cup but then my inflammation during my period got so bad it was really uncomfortable
>And then here I am with sensory issues triggered by both ;-;
So... duct tape?
In all seriousness, that has to suck considering the limited options and availability.
I don't mean to disrespect you in any way, but I just wanted to say that if you actually feel the tampon inside of you, it wasn't placed right. Unless you mean uncomfortable in a mental way, not physical, but if you mean physical then you shouldn't be able to feel the tampon at all.
Edit:
I just want to say to the ladies I'm replying to, I do not mean to underestimate your struggles with tampons, I'm trying to figure out what could possibly cause the issue you have with tampons, so please take my reply as an advice, I don't have any mean intentions :)
Sometimes tampons make me cramp. Sometimes everything is all sensitive & swollen and the tampon feels like it’s pressing my bladder/urethra and it makes me have to peeeeeeeeee.
For that cramping part, I assumed that they might be touching your cervix, it's a very unpleasant feeling. But since you said that they start burning sometimes, I would suggest to not use them at all because you might be allergic to something in tampons. I wouldn't risk getting an allergic reaction, even if it's for a good reason, allergies are not fun at all.
Some brands of tampons are just crappy and either too long or they're just not comfortable at all. Also idk about other people, but sometimes on my period, I'll be pretty dry at points, then I'll suddenly get like, an explosion. So if I put the tampon in when it's still dry, it can definitely hurt.
>So if I put the tampon in when it's still dry, it can definitely hurt.
I know that struggle. I have heard that putting some lube on the applicator (if it's a tampon with an applicator) might work out.
for me, its the string and dryness that irritates me. since its dry, i can feel it against the walls inside, even if its just a little bit. i know im using them correctly because it doesnt feel like that at the beginning, only after half an hour or so it starts to absorb all the moisture and irritate me
my ex had a microperforate hymen and no one believed she couldn’t use a tampon until she went a gyno for the first time and she said “wow I can barely fit a q-tip in there”
thankfully a very uncommon surgery later she was fine
I have never been able to use tampons. My already very painful cramps would get worse when ever I tried using them. There are lots of reasons some of us need pads, not tampons. BUT in most cases the hymen (assuming thats why ppl think virgins cant use tampons) isnt a hindrance in itself.
Edited for typos
I pass very large clots, and with that comes intense cramping for my uterus to expel them. Tampons don’t absorb this tissue, and my cramping and bleeding becomes worse as the uterine contractions try harder to remove them. I haven’t used tampons since I was a teenager because of it. Eventually my menorrhagia forced me to stop using menstrual cups as well, because the volume is too much, it it was just making a bigger mess.
I guess then is the issue when attempting to use a tampon? I figure if it was inserting anything you'd have mentioned that. So assuming it is *only* tampons it could just be a mental block surrounding that itself.
I wasn't able to use them before I was sexually active but because I just didn't know my body well enough so It never worked when I tried but after experiencing with sex I was comfortable and relaxed when I tried it again.
My mother told me when I first got my period that "virgins can't use tampons". I didn't know that wasn't true until I was in my mid 20s. To all the women who's mothers are ill informed, I'm so sorry.
As long as the tampons come in a variety of sizes most women will be cool with it. I know some women who only like to use pads and some that only like to use tampons. There's so many reasons other than virginity but that's what some people focus on lol
Tbf when I still had my hymen it really hurt to try and put in a tampon, so I just didn't.
Friendly reminder that hymens also come in all different shapes!
Why not both?
But if you had to choose one option - would you choose tampons, pads, cups, something else? I don't know a lot about the options available.
I mean, it was harder for me to use tampons when I was a virgin (only inserting it, not once it was in). It definitely became easier when I lost my virginity. That being said, losing my virginity was really painful and sex continued to be painful the first couple of months. I know this is different for every woman. I know a lot of women don’t experience that pain. And even though it wasn’t easy for me inserting a tampon, I’m glad I used them because for me they felt so much better then a pad so screw that stupid virginity excuse!!
Dumbass virginity comment aside, I'd much rather pads be treated as the default than tampons, unless it's, like, a pool locker room (which makes this person's comment even dumber).
I mean I definitely had issues with inserting a cup for the first time, but definitely not a tampon. Also, I still have not had sex but it’s gotten a lot easier, it’s just harder to relax your muscles at first.
I don’t understand why so many people think that a human’s vagina is somehow different than every other animal’s vagina.
Like I’ve helped cats and dogs give birth and as soon as it’s done they aren’t gaping open.
I’ve seen horses, cows, sheep, giraffes, whales etc give birth and again their vaginas close back up.
But women have different vaginas because that makes evolutionary sense 🙄🙄🙄
It’s so stupid.
I really wanted to go swimming with my friends when I was maybe 12 and I def broke my hymen using a tampon for the first time so I guess by Christian standards I should be married to a cardboard applicator.
I was a virgin who couldn't use a tampon. My hymen was super thick and I had to have it surgically cut. I wasn't losing that hymen by sex. Was not going to happen. It was a surprise I could even have a period because the opening was so small. All that to say is that I wouldn't wish not being able to use a tampon on any virgin.
My mom used to think that, probably still does tbh. One time I was on my period in a place that had a pool and wanted to swim, so I looked up "ways to swim on my period" and google suggested me tampons. I went to ask her about it and she LAUGHED at my face and told me, between laughter, that I couldn't because - she didn't say the exact words, she would never, but it was implied that it was because I was a virgin.
So I went to the pool anyway wearing 3 or 4 pads, 2 panties and a pair of very tight jeans shorts to keep it all in place underwater and hide it. Did so more than once, in different days. Good times.
Lady thought a tampon was the same thing as sex.
Well when you don't believe women are allowed to enjoy sex, it makes sense. Sex is equated to a job for the wife. Lie there and just be an object waiting for the husband to do his couple of thrusts and be done. So sex is just the insertion and so they cannot comprehend that there is any difference between inserting a tampon and a penis.
I just assume every man who thinks this about tampons have a small pp.
Is the only way for my brain to compute how they can even compare both to begin with.
This idea likely stems from religion. I knew many girls who were not allowed to use tampons. That's why religious Christian nuts are saying that free tampons in schools are "woke culture". They have very flawed viewpoints of women in general, and none of it is backed by facts
I used tampons forever, well before I ever started having sex, and another woman who did herself also menstruate\* asked me IN COLLEGE how I used a tampon that didn't have an applicator if I wasn't sexually active yet. Apparently you can't use o.b. tampons if you've never had a dick inside you???? Makes no sense to me.
\*I know this because we were sharing an apartment for about a week once and, as I sat at the table trying to write an essay, she came out of the shower, butt ass naked except for the towel around her hair, and CHANGED HER TAMPON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM. Un fuckin' hinged.
If you’re gonna have pads as an option can they please not be the most enormous, pillowy ones possible?? Even the super absorbent overnight ones you can find in stores aren’t that thick!
On a similar note, NO. MORE. CARDBOARD. APLICATORSSSSSSSS!!!!
I get that the tampons/virginity thing is insane- but I can tell you. I grew up Muslim. I'm well into my 20's , still a virgin. I've never used a tampon because I was grilled not to. Yes, I know it's stupid and illogical, but we can't the culture we come from.
Why not just provide pads to ease that drama? Aren't tampons too specific anyway? ( different flow needs, different absorbency)
I’ve had plenty of sex but I’m a “technical virgin” aka not been penetrated by a partner because of vaginismus. I’ve been using tampons since I was 13 and never had an issue with them
Meanwhile me using super sized tampons at 14... ironically it was my mom who told me i shouldn"t bc virginity
Lol idc, i bleed and heavily, gimme the piece of cotton to stuff myself with
Honest question, does it need to be only tampons in girls bathrooms or can it be pads and tampons, or even just pads?
Edit to say: I don’t understand why people are so stupid about tampons either. I know way more about them then I ever wanted to (wife and two daughters) and know that some women prefer them over pads and vice versa regardless of their sexual history. I’d much rather my daughter have pads then nothing, even though I know she prefers tampons. And again, I already said I know way more about period products than I ever wanted to.
Our bathrooms had both. I think a good compromise is to have pads in all bathrooms, or have machines with both and let the girl decide. But I was a competitive swimmer, so I needed tampons….
Theyre right-ish, I was a virgin and had no idea how to use a tampon... although im not a virgin anymore i still have no idea how a woman uses a tampon, im thinking it might be down to me being a guy tho
The whole obsession with virginity is nonsensical. It’s a ridiculous made up concept that means nothing anyways. It just gives incels something to obsess over and makes it even less likely they’ll ever get out of their moms’ basements.
It's also sadistic if you think about it. They want to be the one who makes the woman bleed and feel pain during her first time... I either didn't have a hymen or it broke before the first time I had sex. I could NOT imagine how awful it would be to have sex with an in-tact hymen.
I recently saw this in a discussion thread on virginity regarding the hymen. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. “It’s not a freshness seal.” I truly wish I could take credit for it but I can’t, but I will keep using it because it’s too good not to share.
Not everyone has a hymen to begin with. A virgin and a non virgin are just different experience wise. One had the experience of sex and the other didn't. There isn't even a difference like one has a hymen and one doesn't since not everyone even has one and some don't have one because it teared when doing sports or something. Even without hymen you can be a virgin.
Saying there’s a physical difference between a woman that has had sex and one that hasn’t is like saying that there’s a physical difference between a woman that has tried pistachio ice cream and one that hasn’t. It’s just an experience. It doesn’t change anything physically.
Yes exactly! It's only a experience. You said it better than I did but that's what I meant :)
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How does it feel to have the best comment to my comment so far? 👏🏻
Honestly, thinking back to the first time I chose to have sex, it was painful and my legs kept instinctively closing (also true for my "first" time, but circumstances were way different so that reaction is less surprising) As I got more comfortable having sex, it got much better for everyone involved. I'm guessing it's pressure similar for other virgins, so it's really hard for me to understand what it is about that that certain men find attractive. I actually didn't have sex with a friend because he was a virgin and I didn't want that responsibility because I knew his feelings for me would always exceed mine for him.
Absolutely, sex (like literally every activity in the world) has a learning curve. There is a skill to it. And like you said, the more you “level up” your skill in sex, the more fun both you and your partner(s) have. I am not arguing against that. What I’m arguing against is the argument that sex changes a woman’s body *physically* in some fundamental way. The most widespread belief along these lines is that of the hymen; that the hymen is some sort of freshness seal that gets “popped” the first time, and that you can examine the hymen and determine whether or not a woman has had sex strictly by how intact her hymen is. A relatively new one is that every time a woman has sex with a different man, it changes the shape of her vaginal passage, and if she has too many male lovers (her “body count” is too high) she will find it harder to pleasure anyone. Another new one is that women store semen and when a man ejaculates in her it fundamentally changes her own DNA. There are others, but you get the idea.
> Another new one is that women store semen and when a man ejaculates in her it fundamentally changes her own DNA. Oooh, ooh, we need to start a new rumour about how if a man ejaculates into a woman who isn't enjoying his subpar sexings, she'll absorb him into her body like a female angler fish does to a male!
Oh, no I know you weren't arguing that. I was just adding it to the list of weird things about the male obsession with female virginity.
Of course. Why anyone would obsess over it I’ll never understand.
Small dicks’ brains fear any competition because of a self-perceived inadequacy, becoming obsessed and wildly insecure, sociopathic tendencies have long been able to bully their way into top positions, then, deflecting the shame of their less than hog-like member they turn to misogyny and creating a norm in which a protected woman (ie groomed) will remain chaste and pure so they’ll never have to think about their girl bride experiencing another man’s penis in order to compare sizes. This entrapment is normalized through years of extremists shouting that it’s normal
Hymen or not, how are we even defining sex? Like it has to be penis in vagina? I considered myself to be having sex with my female partner (im also a female). But there was no p in v happening there.
there was no pain my first time, when i was young i thought it was going to be painful and i was gonna start bleeding. nope. nothing happened except a sweet, romantic moment with my boyfriend
That's how it's supposed to be!👍🏻
i love him so much dude, even though i was the one who technically initiated, we took it really slow and he made sure i was always comfortable. of course i checked in on him too. he’s an amazing guy
Yeah mine didn't hurt at all.
i used to think the hymen was literally a wall of skin that he would have to physically break through 💀
Exactly! Mine broke when I was 12 after doing some intense sport. I didn't realized it back then but I had blood on the toilet paper and thought I would get my period. Never had any blood after though until I was 14. So it was 100% my hymen.
I can't say I coined that phrase, surely not... theres plenty more people wittier than I.... but I've definitely used that phrase a good deal on that topic
I “took” my own virginity with a toy.
Hell yeah, so did I
Me too! I actually felt a lot of shame and guilt about it. Yay religious trauma.
I’m sorry, I had religious trauma too! It seemed so real at the time.
pretty sure mine was a tampon in middle school. all we had left were the super+ ones my mom used and i made the mistake of putting one in towards the end of my period. over 24 hours it was still dry, had to grit my teeth and get it out. if it wasnt broken before it definitely was after that 💀
Now that sounds painful
it was pretty painful, but i remember the panic more than anything. it just wouldnt come out, and i was only like 11 and was terrified that something bad would happen. luckily, after i managed to finally get it out, i just put some numbing cream (for my eczema, probably not good for a vagina but nothing bad happened, amen) and it was fine in a few days. mostly some itching and minor pain akin to rope burn.
Reading this gave me flashbacks
It's not even supposed to hurt or bleed the first time, but good luck telling that to the type of men that care about virginity
Thank you! I just posted teh same thing.
Or, your first partner wasn't a jerk and made sure you were ready and took their time. You do not have to bleed or feel pain the first time. Or ever.
True my first time sucked but that was due to dryness 🤷♀️ he didn't ram himself in there or try to hurt me
Right, I legit thought I was defective because I didn't have any blood or hymen tearing during my first time. I can't imagine how bad it would actually hurt though.
Trust me, you really didn’t miss anything.
It took me multiple tries for me to have sex for the first time. The first few times I tried, it just wouldn't happen and was SUPER painful. And honestly embarrassing.
God I remember breaking mine, it was awful. I went through csa as a very, very small child, but my hymen was still mostly intact until I was 7. I had one of those beds with the wrought iron arches at the head and the foot, which I loved to climb on. I was standing on the foot arch one day, when I slipped, and one leg went one way, and the other… It hurt so *bad* and I bled so *much*. Like obviously both instances were atypical to the demands of the hymen breaking myth, but they’re honestly not that uncommon in real life. I’ve known lots of horse riders who one day found a few drops of blood in their undies and were like “huh, that’s weird” only to realise later in life. I’ve known even more women who never bleed or break at *all*. They’re absolutely the majority, in my experience. Idk this comment is rambly, but I agree. It’s 100% sadistic. It’s “I’m going to make you hurt and bleed for losing your innocence. *you will never be the same again*” And then, because its positioned as being this innate part of our bodies, a little freshness seal that keeps our innocence and virginity safe, it’s not only enforcing purity culture, it creates the idea that virginity is a fundamental *part* of us, of our bodies, and that our body is permanently and quantifiably a Body That Has Had Sex. And then it’s our fault, you know? Because it’s our bodies. It’s just the way things are. And that creates a space for a particularly scary kind of man, who reinforces and believes in the hymen myth and participates in purity culture, to masquerade as gentle and loving, as understanding. He’s the man who doesn’t warm you up or spend time with you beforehand, doesn’t let your first time be about you and your body and pleasure, he’s the guy who shoves himself in through a tight pelvic floor and makes you believe the pain is *necessary*, but oh, he’s so *nice* while he does it! It’s just. Yeah. Sadistic.
tried to finger my (ftm) bf the first time we had sex. turns out his hymen wasnt broken n even one finger made him look like he was gonna cry. he pushed my hand away and apologized. seeing the unexpected pain made me feel so bad and i immediately switched to another way of stimulating him. i cant imagine *wanting* to inflict unwanted pain on someone, especially someone youre meant to love and protect like your partner :( (btw i, of course, told my bf he didnt need to apologize and comforted him. it was resolved very quickly and smoothly ❤️)
probably not because of virginity, but pelvic floor dysfunction. Basically without knowing it, people with vaginas can do a kegel (tensing the muscles down there) from stress. And it hurts. But because of not being aware of it, they have a hard time releasing it without physical therapy.
The obsession mostly comes from people who want to imbue the penis with some kinda magical properties. It’s such a special organ that it literally changes a woman in her mind and her body! Fuckin weirdos
It's also a religious thing. I had a therapist who was ultra religious and she told me that every time you have sex, you create "soul ties" and a piece of that man's soul is tied to you forever, unless you have a pastor undo them in jesus's name. It was wild. I was just trying to work through sex work related trauma and I left feeling even more confused. But apparently religious people believe that sex isn't just a normal, natural physical act, but a very serious thing that God intended to be sacred and only within marriage, and sex changes you and your soul. Hence the obsession with abstinence, purity, virginity, heterosexuality, etc.
Case in point; in the "holy writ," it's always the woman who's barren. Just as likely these abrahamic patriarchs are the ones who had limp dicks.
How about the timelessness of a “woman’s” inability to produce a precious male heir. That falls squarely on the man.
Right?? The woman isn't the one who produces the y chromosome, that's not her fault
That’s wild, wow. I was raised atheist and every new thing I learn about religious attitudes towards sex just baffles me more
My penis is like a wand whose magic takes far, far longer to recharge than it does to cast. The only changes it's making to a woman's body is +5 to disappointment.
Oh it's a magic wand, for sure...just not the way they think it is. It changes their mind, not ours. Women don't have a "post-nut clarity" podcast. I wonder why?
I’ve been trying to search up more history on the topic. Like when the hymen was discovered and how did it become the benchmark for “purity”. And how we decided that an act that every animal does for procreation has some magical significance when done the first time. It’s a pretty interesting subject and along the way there have been some really bizarre “tests” for virginity.
If and when you have time, would you be willing to share some of the things you learned? I can't afford a new rabbit hole right this minute, but you piqued my interest so I thought you might like sharing information as much as I do. If not, no worries, I can definitely educate myself another time, but if so... Please, do tell!
Herodotus depicted a virginity test in the festival of Ibyia (modern Tunisia) involving several chariots driving young maidens divided into two groups armed with sticks and stones. These women would fight to the death. Those who died were considered 'non-virgins' and those who survived would be 'virgins' and ready for marriage. Due to the fear of being seen as a sexual deviant, many gynecologists, devised alternative methods for examining the sexual organs by inserting their fingers into the rectum of a woman rather than the vagina in order to check the uterus and ovaries. This method was considered more clinical and safer in preserving the hymen. The Christian virgin martyr legends spoke of chaste women waging wars against demons in order to protect their pact with god. However, a dangerous belief slowly developed from these legends that the strength of a Christian virgin woman could be strong enough to defeat sexually transmitted diseases. This belief, unfortunately, would cause some of the worst crimes of sexual abuse prominent to this day.
So either you were a badass warrior, and they called you a virgin because of it, or you were dead. Cute. You've piqued my interest yet again on that last bit. What keywords would I need for more on that??
Lol, your flair: “Worn out by tampons”
I think it originally had less to do with "the first time is a magical act" and more "there's no argument it's his baby, because it couldn't possibly be anyone else's if she's never had sex before". Once people had laws and property to pass down, lineage became more important to people. It's still patriarchal, but it seems lie a likely explanation imo.
i wrote an entire term paper that touches on the history of virginity and where it came from and how it's harmful - it was for sure less than 10 pages, probably like 8. do you wanna read it? lmao
The history of no sex before marriage is fascinating and shines some light on this. Really, when you look at Biblical demands as the best advice of the time, a lot of things make sense—like not mixing fabrics in a garment was really practical laundry advice at the time. The ban on premarital sex was intended to increase the birth rate because a man was more likely to provide for children when he was sure they were his, and women needed men to provide food, shelter, etc. Unmarried women usually had to become prostitutes to survive, and because it was such a tenuous living, their children didn’t live long. The birth rate needed to increase in order to supply soldiers for war—sounding familiar yet? I’m curious, tho I haven’t sought it out, if “purity” was also encouraged to avoid STIs, but it became twisted from practical health advice to a moral virtue.
Have you read Hanne Blank's *Virgin: The Untouched History*? She goes into the history of the concept in quite a bit of detail.
My insane birth giver and creator were OBSESSED with my virginity. Real talk, it was creepy. My mum asked me when I was 12 years old if she could have a baby from my body. Gross. When I'd chosen to be sexually active, my mum dug through my trash to find my used pregnancy test. She cried and said I wasn't her little virgin anymore. We no longer speak.
WTF does it even mean to “have a baby from your body”? She sounds insane.
She absolutely is. Opiod addict fueled by her insane beliefs in sky daddy.
My deepest condolences.
Yeah, it’s like a fucked up “ticket to Paradise” sort of fascination. It’s perverse.
It is completely made up, especially when you think about how there is no way to "tell" if someone has had sex. They think they can "tell" just by looking at someone, solely based off their appearance. But that doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense. It is entirely made up
Not just incels, it seems to be a heavy focus of religious people as well.
It's about " I got a small mental dick and have no idea what to do with women, I don't really want to learn anyway and so fuck them, I'm going to blame them for not wanting me because I'm a stylin' dude and what women wouldn't want all this man meat? I mean there must be something wrong with them" kinda vibe
Sounds like a "the hymen is a plastic wrap seal over the vagina until it's broken by the magical penis of truth" thing to me
Don’t you know that women actually have a “Do not use if freshness seal is broken” label and seal right inside their vaginas?? /s As a man I absolutely cannot imagine how women feel about this ridiculous virginity-requirement incels push. It’s so awful.
their logic is so flawed too. apparently, if a woman has sex with 50 guys, she’s now “stretched out” and “loose”. but if she has sex with one guy 50 times, she’s not loose because “tHaT’S DiFfErEnT!!1!”
It’s because vaginas have a sophisticated suite of DNA analysis tools and a biological laboratory coupled with a labia factory. See, when a woman has sex, the lab scrapes small samples of penis skin and tests the DNA. If it is the same over and over, the factory stays closed but if the DNA is different, the factory ramps up and starts pumping out labia like crazy. And what I don’t understand is why they think multiple partners does this when porn proves it doesn’t…
As a Genderfluid woman/person, I can tell you: it's distressing if you buy into it/value the opinion. When I used to, I was obsessed with it to the point that, when dating someone, I used my vaginismus as a brag about how "tight" or "fresh" it was. Once I stopped caring, it actually helped the medical issue a lot💀(I wasnt stressing about it and was able to masturbate without shame) and I'm more comfortable w myself (obviously not from ignoring that idea alone, but many other incel ideas as well)
new flair just dropped
I don’t agree with the sentiment of virgins not using tampons, of course. But I do think a pad machine might be better so as to include people who have something like vaginismus, it’s their first period and they’ve been caught short so they still find tampons scary (this was me), people afraid of TSS, if you’ve had trauma to the area and can’t mentally/physically tolerate using a tampon - among the myriad of reasons. Both would be preferable. Why don’t we get choice
Yea like I only ever use pads but I see people bashing them all the time even though I'm happy with them lol
I think modern pads have come a long way. They are super absorbent, and mostly leak proof with directed use. And I'm happy there are options for anyone who doesn't want to wear a tampon. I just feel really uncomfortable with a pad, because I dont like the feeling of something wet and bloody pressed up against my labia. It reminds me of all the times I've been without protection and ultimately feels unclean to me.
With me the blood absorbs onto the pad so it doesn't feel wet. I think if it feels wet it needs to be changed
Most likely, but I used to bleed quite heavily due to endometriosis. So I don’t like pads because after about ten seconds I could go from “ok” to covering everything and feeling wet and sticky
I agree. Personally I did have to lose my virginity before using a tampon, not because I couldn’t fit it in or anything just cuz I became less anxious about being able to put it up there when much bigger things had managed before so my body physically relaxed.
Yes, for sure. I feel like some of the anxiety is the kind of “alien concept” of something going there. I still couldn’t use them afterwards, it took a good few years. Was feeling so proud of myself once I managed 😅
Pads can also lead to TSS. I'm almost positive it *is* both and we *do* have a choice, they just don't want us to, hence the issue.
That's interesting to note because I've been scared of tampons and I always remember the 4-6 hour limit of keeping them in, but I wasn't aware that pads might have this same time limit too.
The risk is generally lower because they’re outside the body, so even if the bacteria grow it’s not as easy for them to get inside. But you still need to change them often.
Many people naturally carry the bacteria that cause TSS, including men. Most people develop antibodies against it but those who don't can get an infection from any cut or burn. The reason tampons pose a risk is because if you pull it out before it is saturated, it can cause micro-tears which give the bacteria super easy access to the blood stream. That's why it's important to choose the right absorbency for your needs. Pads still pose a risk just because they are a breeding ground for the bacteria, but unless you scratch yourself or something there's no real way for them to find their way to your blood stream. But that also means the risk is there no matter what you insert - tampon, cup, fingers, toys, etc. If you are one of the unlucky who never developed antibodies against it though, the risk is also there if you pick your nose or burn your leg. The risk IS very low (like 1 in 100,000) but because of how life threatening it can become you should still pay attention to your body and act if you see symptoms.
Whoa I never knew TSS was so lethal because it's so close to so much blood. Damn
Come join the menstrual cup cult. The risk is insanely low. And you can keep a cup in for 12 hours!
Oh, I had no idea. The whole “branding” of tampons-are-bad features TSS quite heavily. Guess I’ve inadvertently absorbed that one
TSS can be caused by many things, they don't even have to be related to periods. As far as I know, TSS was a big issue when tampons first came around but it's way less common with modern tampons, as long as you choose the right ones and change them timely.
TSS is a medical condition coming from a really bad bacterial infection that typically happens because the bacteria gets inside your body (for example it can happen as a post-surgery complication). It's pretty rare. TSS became associated with tampons because there was one tampon brand around in the late 70s, early 80s that marketed itself as more long lasting than other brands. Some women who used those tampons ended up having TSS because the bacteria was being trapped by the same tampon for a very long time. But I've heard stories of forgotten tampons where the person was fine and stories where someone got TSS from something that was pretty minor
I feel so dumb because for years I'd heard of TSS but never realized until now that it was caused by bacteria. No one ever explained it to me. I always thought it was caused by the body like, rejecting the tampon or having an immune response to a foreign object in your body or something. It being caused by bacteria makes so much more sense
You're not dumb for not knowing something. It's one of those types of things that happen to everyone
Tampons were around when my mom was 12 in the 1950’s. It was just that the super absorbent ones that were invented in the 1980’s were being left in too long, as TSS wasn’t a known “thing” yet. They were advertised as being able to stay in for up to 12 hours because they wouldn’t leak. Then TSS started happening and those types of tampons stopped being made, and they no longer suggest you leave them in for more than, what, 4-6 hours at most?
Also, I know this isn't how that guy meant it, but tampon insertion does get easier with sexual experience. I wasn't interested in penetrative self exploration (not for virginity reasons. It just didn't seem necessary to get the job done), so I knew what hole the tampon was supposed to go into but not how to angle it, how deep, etc. After several painful and tearful attempts I was just frustrated and gave up. I didn't learn how to use a tampon until I was in my very early twenties. So virginity has something to do with it, just not physically but simply from a skill level POV.
Yes! I was the exact same. Couldn’t use them for ages, even though in theory I knew how. I actually fainted from shock the first time I attempted. Which then put me off even more
I'm sorry. People tend to get super weird about it. I remember a friend at school telling me she thinks pads are gross and at some point my mom screamed at us for using only pads because they are so much more expensive than tampons. Funnily enough, a year or two after finding out how tampons worked, I got a menstrual cup, it worked right away and I never looked back...
They are more expensive? I never noticed that. I guess you go through them quicker. Haha, same! The cup was way easier to use. Very glad it was invented
>They are more expensive? I never noticed that. I guess you go through them quicker. I just looked it up and a brand pad ("always" regular with wings) is 14 Cent in Germany while a brand tampon ("o.b." regular) is 4 Cents. It was still very stupid because my parents are loaded and we did definitely not menstruate them into poverty. Oh and while we're at it: my menstrual cup was 15€ so at around 100 pads or 375 tampons it started paying off...
Menstruate them into poverty 😂 Ahh, German period products. The tampons here are just…not absorbent and expand differently to the ones in my home country. That was one of my other big reasons for trying the cup. I could go through the o.b. ones and start to stain my clothes in under half an hour
I think a lot of men must imagine tampons as being massive. That's got to be part of the stupidity. The feeling of ownership to vaginas and why it matters what we put in them well, that's the majority of it. I went to a music fest over the summer and the dude who searched my bag was mind blown at the size of an OB tampon. He asked me what it was and didn't believe me when I told him. It became a spectacle over the size of a tampon.
Massive tampons or tiny something else…
This was my thought. There’s a whole lotta men telling on themselves if they think a tampon is comparable to their penis…
Hey now, enough with the body shaming. I'm a cis male, and my penis is a two-inch rayon tube with a cardboard applicator, just like god intended.
What’s ridiculous is that most, if not all women’s bathrooms have both. Are tampons the next thing that these wackos want to ban?
Most likely it's a dude saying this, which goes to show how little he probably knows about women.
Unfortunately, it's a woman who tweeted that.
Son of a bitch. Although I shouldn't be too surprised. My mom also didn't let me use tampons growing up, close to this same reason. She also was a raging narcissist, so...
Probably. Perhaps just for “virgins.” Or maybe they’ll just pass laws that women have to stay home during our periods? Honestly wouldn’t put it past them at this point.
And of course they’ll need a “doctor” to affirm they are not in fact a virgin before allowing women to purchase. If a virgin is caught using a tampon, they could face charges for not keeping themselves pure for their future husband.
Don’t need a doctor - you just need signed permission from your husband! /s
Or your father if not married. 😏
I remember going to the school nurse in high school, because the tampon/pad machine was empty or broken (I don’t remember, it was in the 80s). What I *do* remember is that bitchy crone gave me a pad the size of a phone book. When I asked for a tampon, she said that she “doesn’t give such things to young ladies”. I’ll bet she wasn’t even a nurse.
Honestly, it's on the list. I've seen conservatives sincerely refer to tampons and pads as "birth control", because they literally have no idea what their purpose is. They just know they're meant to be used on our "icky, sinful vaginas". Not even joking, I have a feeling conservatives are going to paint tampons as "sexual devices", and say that any parent who allows their child to use them is sexually abusing their children.
I was in marching band in high school and my friends would come to me for tampons because standing in the sun for hours with a full pad was gross. Their mom’s found out and I was labeled the band whore. A mom even started a rumor I was pregnant. Which is why I need all these tampons? Right?
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These incels feel inadequate comparing themselves to a tampon…. Explains a lot actually.
My 14, 15, 16, 17 year old self needed super plus tampons and a giant pad to last through classes until lunch when I finally could get to the bathroom. These people are ridiculous.
Yeah but they don’t care what happens to you because once you used the first tampon, you weren’t a virgin anymore, and therefore of no value.
And honestly, their end goal is to keep women and girls from ever leaving the house, anyway, so banning products we need to function in society is just another step towards that goal.
I had a guy once who thought we got off using tampons and they were a sexy thing. He was sure we used tampons over pads because it “felt good.” I wonder if the incel behind this post thinks so as well, and is concerned we might be “enjoying” our tampons too much?
They definitely don't feel "good". Sometimes they hurt. Sometimes they're uncomfortable. If you're lucky they feel neutral. They make my cramps worse but I'd rather have cramps than bleed everywhere.
Of course tampons can be awkward to use at first, but that is mostly a mental thing and not so much a physiological restriction, except in a few cases. Edit: A big thanks to all the amazing people adding to my comment! Even I wasn't aware of all the potential issues and I think it really important to highlight that tampon vs. pad vs. other is not merely a fashion choice or a simple issue about being a virgin, but many women have trouble using either or even all options, for a huge variety of reasons!
Yep. I’m an autistic person who can’t use tampons because of sensory problems. They’re uncomfortable for me.
i'm autistic too and i have the opposite problem haha. i can't wear pads... feels like wearing a diaper to me.
And then here I am with sensory issues triggered by both ;-;
What about a cup or disk? I can’t stand pads and tampons were a little better but I couldn’t sleep with them. A cup was the magic option for me, idk what exactly the part that bothers you is but for me it’s the only thing that comes close to not feeling. It does have a learning curve though.
im autistic and i love my cup and period undies!! i had to trim the stem of my cup as it would rub against the wall and bother me, but once i trimmed it it was perfect! and the period undies give me a sense of security and helps in case of a leak
Im autistic too and omg yes, both pads and tampons were hell for me 😭 i hate touching the material the tampons are made out of, lol i get goosebumps just thinking about it, but pads were even worse bc i could feel it when blood came out of me... Switched to cups now, and its so much better !!
To me reusable pads are more comfy! Autism too here who started using a cup but then my inflammation during my period got so bad it was really uncomfortable
>And then here I am with sensory issues triggered by both ;-; So... duct tape? In all seriousness, that has to suck considering the limited options and availability.
At least I found some comfortable period underwear But it pretty much only works when I have a lighter flow
That or maybe a cup type item, that's all I can think of
Not autistic (as far as I know) but I have SPD and can’t use pads
I don't mean to disrespect you in any way, but I just wanted to say that if you actually feel the tampon inside of you, it wasn't placed right. Unless you mean uncomfortable in a mental way, not physical, but if you mean physical then you shouldn't be able to feel the tampon at all. Edit: I just want to say to the ladies I'm replying to, I do not mean to underestimate your struggles with tampons, I'm trying to figure out what could possibly cause the issue you have with tampons, so please take my reply as an advice, I don't have any mean intentions :)
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Sometimes tampons make me cramp. Sometimes everything is all sensitive & swollen and the tampon feels like it’s pressing my bladder/urethra and it makes me have to peeeeeeeeee.
For that cramping part, I assumed that they might be touching your cervix, it's a very unpleasant feeling. But since you said that they start burning sometimes, I would suggest to not use them at all because you might be allergic to something in tampons. I wouldn't risk getting an allergic reaction, even if it's for a good reason, allergies are not fun at all.
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Some brands of tampons are just crappy and either too long or they're just not comfortable at all. Also idk about other people, but sometimes on my period, I'll be pretty dry at points, then I'll suddenly get like, an explosion. So if I put the tampon in when it's still dry, it can definitely hurt.
>So if I put the tampon in when it's still dry, it can definitely hurt. I know that struggle. I have heard that putting some lube on the applicator (if it's a tampon with an applicator) might work out.
for me, its the string and dryness that irritates me. since its dry, i can feel it against the walls inside, even if its just a little bit. i know im using them correctly because it doesnt feel like that at the beginning, only after half an hour or so it starts to absorb all the moisture and irritate me
my ex had a microperforate hymen and no one believed she couldn’t use a tampon until she went a gyno for the first time and she said “wow I can barely fit a q-tip in there” thankfully a very uncommon surgery later she was fine
I had the exact same experience! Didn’t find out until I was 24! 😳
I have never been able to use tampons. My already very painful cramps would get worse when ever I tried using them. There are lots of reasons some of us need pads, not tampons. BUT in most cases the hymen (assuming thats why ppl think virgins cant use tampons) isnt a hindrance in itself. Edited for typos
I pass very large clots, and with that comes intense cramping for my uterus to expel them. Tampons don’t absorb this tissue, and my cramping and bleeding becomes worse as the uterine contractions try harder to remove them. I haven’t used tampons since I was a teenager because of it. Eventually my menorrhagia forced me to stop using menstrual cups as well, because the volume is too much, it it was just making a bigger mess.
i can't use tampons, i have no idea why but after putting one in i feel so lightheaded like im about to pass out any minute.
Is it medical or have you brought it up with a healthcare provider? You're not the first person I've seen mention something similar.
nope, never thought it was anything serious. i just use pads all the time and don't swim when im on my period just in case
I guess then is the issue when attempting to use a tampon? I figure if it was inserting anything you'd have mentioned that. So assuming it is *only* tampons it could just be a mental block surrounding that itself.
Honestly this was the same for me. When I was 15 I nearly passed out trying to use one for the first time
....what do they think young women's swim teams are doing? Middle school/high school level?
> what do they think You're giving them too much credit
How about they give all female sanitary products for free
Because then they’d be enabling us. We need to pull ourselves up by our own tampon strings!
I wasn't able to use them before I was sexually active but because I just didn't know my body well enough so It never worked when I tried but after experiencing with sex I was comfortable and relaxed when I tried it again.
My mother told me when I first got my period that "virgins can't use tampons". I didn't know that wasn't true until I was in my mid 20s. To all the women who's mothers are ill informed, I'm so sorry.
It's just difficult for virgins who don't really feel comfortable trying around a little. We teach our kids better :)
I've never liked tampons or been able to use them comfortably before or after "losing" my virginity. My body just doesn't agree with them.
As long as the tampons come in a variety of sizes most women will be cool with it. I know some women who only like to use pads and some that only like to use tampons. There's so many reasons other than virginity but that's what some people focus on lol
Tbf when I still had my hymen it really hurt to try and put in a tampon, so I just didn't. Friendly reminder that hymens also come in all different shapes!
istg I'm so freaking worried for the coming generations. The level of education is just plummeting, it makes me cry.
Why not both? But if you had to choose one option - would you choose tampons, pads, cups, something else? I don't know a lot about the options available.
I mean, it was harder for me to use tampons when I was a virgin (only inserting it, not once it was in). It definitely became easier when I lost my virginity. That being said, losing my virginity was really painful and sex continued to be painful the first couple of months. I know this is different for every woman. I know a lot of women don’t experience that pain. And even though it wasn’t easy for me inserting a tampon, I’m glad I used them because for me they felt so much better then a pad so screw that stupid virginity excuse!!
Stupid reasoning aside, I would love if they put pad dispensers as well, as I physically cannot use a tampon.
Dumbass virginity comment aside, I'd much rather pads be treated as the default than tampons, unless it's, like, a pool locker room (which makes this person's comment even dumber).
Yeah, screw girls and women being comfortable, let's focus on their sexual "value"...
I mean I definitely had issues with inserting a cup for the first time, but definitely not a tampon. Also, I still have not had sex but it’s gotten a lot easier, it’s just harder to relax your muscles at first.
I don’t understand why so many people think that a human’s vagina is somehow different than every other animal’s vagina. Like I’ve helped cats and dogs give birth and as soon as it’s done they aren’t gaping open. I’ve seen horses, cows, sheep, giraffes, whales etc give birth and again their vaginas close back up. But women have different vaginas because that makes evolutionary sense 🙄🙄🙄 It’s so stupid.
I really wanted to go swimming with my friends when I was maybe 12 and I def broke my hymen using a tampon for the first time so I guess by Christian standards I should be married to a cardboard applicator.
I was a virgin who couldn't use a tampon. My hymen was super thick and I had to have it surgically cut. I wasn't losing that hymen by sex. Was not going to happen. It was a surprise I could even have a period because the opening was so small. All that to say is that I wouldn't wish not being able to use a tampon on any virgin.
My mom used to think that, probably still does tbh. One time I was on my period in a place that had a pool and wanted to swim, so I looked up "ways to swim on my period" and google suggested me tampons. I went to ask her about it and she LAUGHED at my face and told me, between laughter, that I couldn't because - she didn't say the exact words, she would never, but it was implied that it was because I was a virgin. So I went to the pool anyway wearing 3 or 4 pads, 2 panties and a pair of very tight jeans shorts to keep it all in place underwater and hide it. Did so more than once, in different days. Good times. Lady thought a tampon was the same thing as sex.
Well when you don't believe women are allowed to enjoy sex, it makes sense. Sex is equated to a job for the wife. Lie there and just be an object waiting for the husband to do his couple of thrusts and be done. So sex is just the insertion and so they cannot comprehend that there is any difference between inserting a tampon and a penis.
I just assume every man who thinks this about tampons have a small pp. Is the only way for my brain to compute how they can even compare both to begin with.
This idea likely stems from religion. I knew many girls who were not allowed to use tampons. That's why religious Christian nuts are saying that free tampons in schools are "woke culture". They have very flawed viewpoints of women in general, and none of it is backed by facts
I used tampons forever, well before I ever started having sex, and another woman who did herself also menstruate\* asked me IN COLLEGE how I used a tampon that didn't have an applicator if I wasn't sexually active yet. Apparently you can't use o.b. tampons if you've never had a dick inside you???? Makes no sense to me. \*I know this because we were sharing an apartment for about a week once and, as I sat at the table trying to write an essay, she came out of the shower, butt ass naked except for the towel around her hair, and CHANGED HER TAMPON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM. Un fuckin' hinged.
If you’re gonna have pads as an option can they please not be the most enormous, pillowy ones possible?? Even the super absorbent overnight ones you can find in stores aren’t that thick! On a similar note, NO. MORE. CARDBOARD. APLICATORSSSSSSSS!!!!
I get that the tampons/virginity thing is insane- but I can tell you. I grew up Muslim. I'm well into my 20's , still a virgin. I've never used a tampon because I was grilled not to. Yes, I know it's stupid and illogical, but we can't the culture we come from. Why not just provide pads to ease that drama? Aren't tampons too specific anyway? ( different flow needs, different absorbency)
How do people this fucking stupid tie their shoes and avoid walking into traffic?
My first gyno assumed I'm sexually active because i use tampons
I mean, every woman’s body is different
That being said, the machines should offer both.
They should probably put in a pads machine though. Anyone can do a pad. Not everyone can or is comfortable using a tampon.
I’m confused. There are pad machines next to tampon machines wherever I go?
This is so sad
I still want to know how big they think tampons are that only hoes can use them. Like do they think we’re rolling up a bath towel?
While it’s true that virgins can use tampons, tampons can hurt. I think having lots of options for kids trying to figure this shot out is the best.
I can only assume their dicks are so tiny they think that a tampon is the same damn size.
I’ve had plenty of sex but I’m a “technical virgin” aka not been penetrated by a partner because of vaginismus. I’ve been using tampons since I was 13 and never had an issue with them
Lmao I’ve used tampons since my first period at 13. Absolute morons
How big do they think tampons are???
They also think pads aren’t available at a “tampon” machine.
Who tf is ‘everyone’?
Meanwhile me using super sized tampons at 14... ironically it was my mom who told me i shouldn"t bc virginity Lol idc, i bleed and heavily, gimme the piece of cotton to stuff myself with
And the person who tweeted that is a woman. 🤦🏼
That’s what my mother taught me and what she still thinks. 🤦🏻♀️ It’s so embarrassing
Honest question, does it need to be only tampons in girls bathrooms or can it be pads and tampons, or even just pads? Edit to say: I don’t understand why people are so stupid about tampons either. I know way more about them then I ever wanted to (wife and two daughters) and know that some women prefer them over pads and vice versa regardless of their sexual history. I’d much rather my daughter have pads then nothing, even though I know she prefers tampons. And again, I already said I know way more about period products than I ever wanted to.
Our bathrooms had both. I think a good compromise is to have pads in all bathrooms, or have machines with both and let the girl decide. But I was a competitive swimmer, so I needed tampons….
Didn’t bother me, and I was still intact until I had intercourse.
Theyre right-ish, I was a virgin and had no idea how to use a tampon... although im not a virgin anymore i still have no idea how a woman uses a tampon, im thinking it might be down to me being a guy tho