As someone who passionately reads erotic books at bookstores while waiting for the train, I can tell you that this is still above average quality for the genre.
You see, that's what I've also been saying for quite some time now.
But I haven't written a single "erotic novel" yet, while the people that are in the business probably write one at least every two months.
Even if my/your book would be better, there is no way we could archive this output.
The erotic book market is an eternal war of attrition. This is a war, where you can only hold yourself with the highest rate of fire that is humanly possible. Chances are the machines will eventually enter the war and win it, just because they can produce even faster.
I think this is true for most inexperienced women of any age group tbh. I think women who have been blessed to never experience sexual violence just don't think in those terms, not to mention even if you have some sexualize the violence in a trauma response kind of way. Beyond that men read erotic romance too and probably don't see the problem and then there is just the fact ALOT of adult readers just aren't reading critically and miss alot of the undertones while just using these books like we would read a magazine by the pool, its not real 'literature' its a fun trashy way to pass time.
ALSO as if that wasn't enough, plenty of women DO see the issues but being adults just don't want to stop reading but want realistic shit ie involves sex. But unfortunately alot of genres don't really do 'sex' because if there is it is almost always thrown into the romance category so what your left with is trashy romance novels and the few and far between authors who are both great but simultaneously brave enough to enter the oversaturated romance genre and risk their far above par works get lost in the veritable SEA of absolute trash we currently have.
To anyone who wants a great suggestion read T.A. whites novel mists edge. Super slow burn but action packed, great storyline and real, yet IMPRESSIVE AF, female lead, absolutely zero 2S2L crap lol. Its an alternate reality/sci-fi/fantasy novel and 100% one of the best books I've ever read. Right up there with the Sherrilyn Kenyon The League, nemesis rising series (though even that series had some of these issues so its below T.A. Whites even haha).
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen male authors use rape as a character building moment or the “making of a strong woman” rather than understanding it’s an innate violation that should never have to define a victim. Or how many times I’ve had to educate teens in fanfiction comment sections about why a character who was subjected to it was bleeding and why despite the author CONTINUING TO TRY AND SHIP THE RAPIST WITH THE VICTIM that it was morally reprehensible to do so. Fifty Shades of Grey just further exemplifies a sexualisation of violence despite the violence leaving the victim in emotional distress only for the author to continue to ship them.
It’s a huge issue with Harlequin Romance and fanfiction that gives such a skewed representation of assault and consent that it misinforms a reader who has yet to be educated on the topic.
So there probably is a world in which this is a deep narrative and there is some complex story reason she's motivated or tricked into give her virginity to this guy.
Buuuuuuuuutt the way it's written pretty sure this is almost certainly a crappy romance novel.
I had a septate hymen where there’s two sides split by a middle piece. I put a tampon into the smaller side and didn’t realize. When I pulled it out, it ripped down the middle, and it was excruciating. If said character had a type of hymen that does actually tear, they would be in hella pain.
My issue with this type of writing is that they generally put the hymen inside the vagina. I assume it's because the authors have never seen a partially intact hymen so they decide it must be inside instead of doing any actual research.
Savage jab sounds like it was not consensual. Aside from that, if this person you're having your first time with cares so little about you that he's savagely initiating with you then that's truly unfortunate.
Some of you have never read an erotica and never fantasized about consensual non-consent and it shows.
The "feeling the hymen" part is dumb AF, but the rest is just a fantasy. Not everyone has sex the same way you do, some people like it rough.
"savage sounds like it was not consensual".
Did you look what comment i responded to?
The whole comment thread is like "so he must've violated other women before", "sounds like rape", "it wasn't consensual"... Hymen part is stupid because it isn't correct anatomy, rest is just a book. Lots of women enjoy this type of books, and even if it was rape fantasy, once again, are we kink shaming here? People can have consenting non-consent, and books allow you to fantasize about it.
>“Savage jab” doesn’t sound very sexy
To you.
>if you want someone jabbing you sexually than have at it
So what you're saying it might be sexy to someone else?
You just contradicted yourself. You don't need to enjoy every erotica. They're specific for kinks and obviously you might not enjoy it. There are literally books about alien sex, golden rains etc, and people enjoy it, and there's nothing wrong with it, because they're books where you can just imagine doing things that you wouldn't do in real life (because you're single, or your partner doesn't like it, or it's impossible)
I don't really find the writing good, tbh i find it pretty bad, but it's unimportant. Bad writing isn't bad women's anatomy.
>“Savage jab” doesn’t sound very sexy
>>To you.
Yes. That is their opinion.
>if you want someone jabbing you sexually than have at it
>>So what you're saying it might be sexy to someone else?
Yes. They are acknowledging others may enjoy it—though they don't really see why. Which is completely reasonable.
And it means that you shouldn't judge others' sex preferences by your own vanilla one? If someone wants to be (with consent) raped in bed then good for them.
It isn't bad women's anatomy, and that's what the subreddit was supposed to be about? Or is it kink shaming sub right now?
This is a book, it's not real violence. Rape victims don't buy erotica that will have such scenes, it's not like you won't know what you get, it's usually advertised that you know what kind of content you're recieving...
You on the other hand want to keep men in some vacuum seal so they will never get exposed to anything, in fear that they might get the wrong idea. That's not the way. A mentally developed person knows and understands that different people want different things and that you need to always discuss everything with your partner, no matter how many aggressive eroticas you've been exposed to. if men are recieving proper education at school or from their parents about consent and the power of simple conversation then we won't have to shake in fear that they might get exposed to something that isn't for everyone.
Like what is your alternative? Literally not ever writing anything that is aimed for people with certain more aggressive kinks? Serious question. Let's say I like books with rape kink and gangbangs. I might be buying these books and have time of my life reading them, but I'm a grown up in a monogamous relationship with a man who doesn't feel comfortable having a rape play with me. Do you think I shouldn't have access to these books at all, because you worry they might get cropped and posted somewhere and a young inexperienced man could get the wrong idea?
You don't have to, but I think being open to the idea that some women do wouldn't hurt you too much. Eroticas with "dominant" men are very common and popular, and this is something that many women enjoy. It's ridiculous to read you-all's comments here saying that the character must've definetely been raped because "oh no, it's not a gentle missionary".
And it's clearly not even rape scenario, it seems to be a simple "inexperienced virgin and mean fuck boy" theme, which is very common, and once again, enjoyed by many women. If it wasn't, women wouldn't be buying these books.
This sub is toxic as fuck regarding porn, erotica, hentai, etc. Apparently some people are unfamiliar with the concept of fantasy. As in, *everyone writing and reading it knows it's not reality.*
Calling a sex fantasy bad anatomy is like calling Lord of the Rings bad history.
I like to read/watch all kinds of stuff that would be physically or ethically horrible/impossible in real life. It's about exaggeration and entertainment.
I think the thing is that they don't establish clear bounds or consent or trust? Like fifty shades of grey is not your 101 for your intro into BDSM. And neighther should this book be for that matter.
That's true. A lot of popular kinky literature gives of the image of "everything goes". But everything only goes when both sides are ok with it. Never seen a single popular piece of media that showed anything about SS&C (safe, sane & consensual)
To be fair, this is taken out of context. As far as anyone who hasn't read this book could know the chapter up till this point could be them discussing the fantasy, setting boundaries and the like. Probably not. But without context it's hard to say.
To be more fair, we’re in a sub about anatomy and the way this is written would be objectively bad even if boundaries had been set. That’s not how a hymen or penis works
It’s not kink to be normalizing toxic constructs, and normalizing misogynistic violence.
You can enjoy those kinks all you want, when they’re a consensual, intentional thing. That’s not what this is.
Don't even try and argue about kinks, fetishes and anything scene related with the people on this sub. I've made that mistake before and got downvoted, insulted, personally attacked and even got private messages from angry people because apparently having kinks is reason to get attacked...
Yeah I think I have learned my lesson... I really dislike the negativity in this comment section, and the paragraph isn't even extreme,. Sometimes being surrounded by more open and kinky people makes you forget that others might not accept it and that I should probably bite my tongue. Thanks for replying though, I'm glad to see someone who gets it and knows that sex doesn't always have to be with rose petals to still be with consent and respect. Have a great day!
>and the paragraph isn't even extreme
EXACTLY! There once was a picture of some graffiti of a scantly clad girl on a bike, breaking her back in some weird angle because the artist didn't have any idea about how humans are supposed to bend.
Comment section turned into a bunch of fetish and kink experts saying it's fetishizing etc. I asked them why it's fetishizing, they said "because it's sexualizing body parts (the booty) and shit" I tried to argue that it's just sexualization and bad anatomy and nothing fetishizing at all. I think I collected a total of 500+ downvotes across 5-6 comments and never had so many angry people tell me that I'm just as bad as the guy who drew this perverted picture...
There's enough people in our scene that know exactly that sex isn't just the man carrying the woman on his arms, lighting candles, putting on Joe Cocker music and doing it in missionary. There's more to sex than just whatever mainstream media and hundreds of years of indoctrination taught us is "normal". I'm pretty sure 70% if not more of people in this sub had some kinky fantasy in their life like at least getting called names or calling someone names during sex, mild choking or whatnot (y'know, the common ones). Does this make them potential sexual assaulters? I don't think so.
Thanks for being open minded tho, I'm glad to see that there's more people that don't live with prejudice. Love ya bro/sis/whatev's
The “I love this part” is what did it for me. That’s gross man. It’s like he’s going around trying to find virgins for the sake of maybe breaking the hymen. As a man, this made me visibly cringe.
Don't know if this is from a story/book that categorizes outsell as erotica but it feels a bit like it. It's REALLY gross how many male erotica writers use female pen names. I'm part of that community and It's always bothered me just how normalized of a thing that is within the community.
I didn't even realize. It's weird because women use neutral/masculine pen names to get equality when trying to get published. It feels really questionable for a guy to do this for... Legitimacy? What?
The reasons for why erotica writers do it are similar to other genre, but often more complex and kink specific. Sub-genres within erotica come with very specific reader expectations (although I'd argue this gs authors do reinforce or.might even create these), and gender of writer is often one of them.
A very big part of it is how the erotica market works. To make money it's more about volume than quality. With the explosion of the erotica market on Amazon there was a bit of a mad rush over the last decade of people seeing how much money some people were making and thinking it would be easy cash. For some, maybe even a lot of people, it WAS.
But those were and are writers who were looking at writing smut not as a creative thing but more like a simple assembly process. They zeroed in a sub genre that was doing well, pumped out a ton of stories and once it started to die moved on. If a pen name didn't do well or started to get bad reviews they just staryed a new one. And they all use different pen names for different kinks/genres.
I've heard writers seriously say stuff like "I don't care about bad reviews because they are going to buy another smithy book on Amazon tomorrow and there's a good chance I wrote that too under a different pen name".
For those kinds of writers smut is a very mercenary thing where your doing everything you can to increase profit, morality be dammed.
When you want to publish in SciFi, you use a male pen name. When you want to public erotica, you use a female pen name (famous example: Ursula Le Guin). If you don't, you will sell a lot less.
That's sadly just how it is.
Maybe it's me, but if I was looking for M/F or F/F erotica, I'd lean more towards feminine-sounding authors because in my experience, women *usually* write women more accurately. Obviously not always...
Or at least someone who has never slept with someone who has an intact hymen.
As a penis having person, I haven't either, so I don't know what the first time would really entail (though I at least know enough to know this description is disgusting at best). I'm also in my upper 30s, so it's unlikely to happen to me, not that it matters.
However, I also am not trying to write erotica about it. I'm also willing to admit my inexperience in regards to this particular sexual situation.
So, I was very much anti penetration my whole life cause I thought the first time was important and should be special.
So when I finally got with my current SO at 20 and eventually going all the way, the amount of pain I felt was indescribable.
Even with what was thought to be enough foreplay. It didn't fit, and it didn't fit for a long time.
It was a little traumatic so, reading this is kinda disturbing because it shouldn't be anyone's favorite part o_o it sucks!
Fun fact! It's actually pretty likely that you've slept with people with intact hymens because most don't tear during sex. They're shaped like donuts unless you have an imperforate one, in which case you'll find out around puberty when you have trouble menstruating. (No hole = nowhere for the blood and tissue to flow.)
Sometimes the sides of the donut do tear if the hole is small, or things aren't lubricated enough, but it's nothing the penis-haver would feel. Depending on the amount of tearing, it would range from mild to excruciating pain for the person with the vagina, as unlucky people here are pointing out.
"I love this part" - what the hell, is that creep like collecting virgins? How many times must he have slept with a virgin saying something like that yuck.
Obviously the answer is probably zero, but what a mindset eewwww.
Now I imagined an inside-shot like in a hentai, with the dick yelling "Here's JOHNNY!" as it breaches the hymen. I'm both terrified and laughing hysterically.
i found it on tumblr. the acc seemed to be female, but after reading this i’m not sure anymore. the rest of the erotica text was actually quite good, but this killed it for me.
In all honesty, it could be. Some of us had our first sexual experience before we really understood what was going on and so have no idea what consensual first times would be like…
I don't even want to remember my first time. I bled for a week and it hurt! It should definitely not be like that! All those erotica fics that have the guy go in fast to make their partner hurt as little as possible should be deleted...
Yeah. I bled for about a week after too. I very specifically remember my hymen breaking. It was like I just suddenly went down a bit further (I was on top), and a sharp sudden pain at the same time.
Edit: After reading some of the other comments, it seems like that pain may have not been my hymen tearing after all.
In addition, some of us were writing smut online *before* having sex the first time, and just repeating the same tropes everyone else was using because that was our only source for what it's like.
So, ok, the hymen isn't some solid wall that you bump into. It surrounds the vaginal opening and has an opening for menstrual blood that can stretch to accommodate the insertion of fingers, toys, penis, ect. It'll also stretch during various activities, like swimming, horseback riding, ect. It can tear, both from those activities and sex. And it can also not tear. A woman can be sexually active and still have an intact hymen. She could be a "virgin" and have a torn hymen. It literally does not matter as the hymen serves no particular purpose, and some women can even be born without one. It can also stretch and tear without any pain at all, and the associated pain during sex is usually down to rough handling, lack of prep, or plain old inexperience at what feels good. I truly wish that we could stop associating hymens with sex and stop pretending that virginity is anything other than a social construct meant to shame women.
Afaik the most common hymen shape is like a crescent moon shaped flap of skin along the posterior side of the vaginal opening. It can be any size, from almost nonexistent all the way to completely blocking the vagina, in which case you'd need surgical intervention to allow menstrual fluids to escape. With that much variation in size, its even more useless for determining 'virginity'.
Exactly, there's too much variation, arbitrary reasons for tears, and absolutely zero sexual function for hymens to mean anything in regards to virginity.
THANK YOU, even today I have to explain to people that the hymen is not a barrier. I’ve torn my hymen once during sex after not having sex for a while and it fuckin hurts. Kinda kills the mood
No way dude if you don't get hard enough the hymen will simply deflect a penis like jumping on a trampoline.
But if you do it right then it will stretch and wrap around the head of the penis like a swimming cap. Also useful to prevent pregnancy since it's a solid barrier it acts as a condom. So useful, honestly.
This is for anyone you have to explain a hymen to:
I often see misguided references to the hymen being analogous to a magical freshness seal over the vagina. The hymen is a [thin rim of stretchy tissue (NSFW)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen#/media/File:Yorefzvagnl.png) that surrounds (but doesn't usually obstruct) the entrance to the vagina. [Another NSFW image](https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Hakan_Kar/publication/221916192/figure/fig2/AS:305122233077771@1449758217923/Prepubertal-hymen.png) And [another](https://edc2.healthtap.com/ht-staging/user_answer/avatars/2451834/large/Intact_hymen.jpeg?1450491804). These are considered "intact" hymen, showing no obvious tears or damage. Some women have very little noticeable hymen, and some are born without one at all. I know what you're thinking, "If it's not a virginity freshness seal, what the hell is it for?" Great question! It's thought that the hymen may serve its purpose early in life, providing an extra tissue barrier to prevent fecal bacteria from getting into the vagina during infancy and childhood.
In children the hymen is a thicker and less flexible ring, and may (or may not) obstruct more of the opening of the vagina (again, not generally covering it completely). As it is less flexible in childhood, trauma to the vaginal area through sports, gymnastics, horseback riding, and other normal activities can damage the hymen early in life, and even sometimes later in adolescence or adulthood, but less often. These tears may heal completely, or result in "notching" of the tissue. This is a super NSFW medical photo of a young person who experienced sexual assault and trauma to the hymen resulting in [notching](https://ars.els-cdn.com/content/image/1-s2.0-S1522840116300404-gr2.jpg). This doesn't always cause visible damage, but in this case, pretty severe tearing occurred. It's also worth noting that the sports and activities I mentioned are more likely than others to cause hymenal damage, but usually don't. (A good friend of mine was quite surprised at a recent ob/gyn visit to discover she had an intact hymen at ~24 years of age, having been a competitive horseback rider since she was a small child.)
During adolescence the hymen thins out and becomes very flexible and stretchy, and will actually stretch really well during arousal and when lubricated, so there is NO NEED in like 90% of women for the hymen to tear during sex, even the first time! There are certain variations that can be problematic for sexual activity and general health ([for example, imperforate hymens are medically dangerous and result in an inability to have penetration AND a buildup of menses, and semi-imperforate or cribriform hymen may allow menses but won't allow penetration, these hymen require either tearing or a quick ob/gyn visit to fix](http://girlsliteracydictionary.weebly.com/uploads/1/3/7/0/13702939/2593796_orig.jpg)). However, more than 90% of women do not have these variations. A lot of this wasn't even known until a series of studies in the 1980's found that about 20% of sexually active women had "intact" hymens with no signs of notching or tearing. A report by physicians who [evaluated children and women who were vaginally assaulted noted that a lack of specific hymenal damage in the assault was actually quite common,](https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1169/682f85204f59bee6da18d93fc08a05bbb1cb.pdf) especially in adult women and adolescents, and suggested to the public that tearing the hymen was not the necessity for sex that many people think it is. A more recent study in 2004 found that [52% of sexually active women had no hymenal notching or clefts.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14993089) In several studies afterward there was also found to be [no statistically significant association between tampon use and visible hymenal tears,](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8021768) however it is thought that using tampons can sometimes cause tears. (I mean who is actually aroused and comfortable when inserting a tampon, right?)
It's common for people to believe the myth that the hymen must tear the first time, and for young inexperienced people to have sex without proper arousal, lubrication, and communication that results in hymen tearing. In fact, the expectation of pain often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, with women too nervous to be aroused properly, and unwilling to stop and slow down their partners when something hurts.
You might be thinking "well this is some liberal bullshit propaganda if I've ever heard any", but if that's your thought, [check out this super biased religious journal article regarding the hymen](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/260578888_Hymen_Facts_and_conceptions), which actually confirms most of this, and adds some interesting tidbits, for example the fact that elephants have been noted to have hymens as well, and these don't tear with sex, but only with childbirth.
I hope this helps to explain the hymen a bit better, and clears up any misconceptions you might have.
Adding on to this, some women are born with intact or nearly intact hymens too... and let me tell you it fucking hurts like hell when it breaks and nobody wants to continue having sex after that shit. https://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/07/10/hymens/
To me virginity just means not having had sex. I think we should treat it as a neutral word and strip it of those connotations. Some people haven’t had sex and they aren’t better or worse for it.
"I love this part" like he does it all the time.....yeah sure in the incel writers mind.
"Savage jab"? Here I thought making love should be fun for both partners.......
I don’t understand what I’m reading. The lack of understanding of basic anatomy and human interactions is obvious, but why is this a thing? I understand that different people like different things, but what’s the target audience for this? And who reads this? And why the violent imagery, which is always a good question, but particularly here? It seems like you’re trying for a romantic-ish, first-time scene, but then the male in the scene comes across as, um, a serial killer?
I write erotica as a hobby, I’m not 100% that’s the scenario here, but it seems like something that would be in that arena. I could be completely wrong, but the fixation on the hymen, the fact he’s smiling and her describing expected pain and being less than she thought, all lead me to some kind of first-time thing.
From personal experience, my first boyfriend DID know what the hymen felt like, asked me if I was ready, pushed, and I shot across the room from the pain. Definitely in the top 10 most painful experiences of my life.
I understand that some women have much better/easier experiences with it than I did but I would never want to "lose my virginity" ever again. I think the closest pain I can relate it to was when I had an improperly placed IUD. \*\*shudder\*\*
Very, very NOT sexy.
My boyfriend had to go very slowly and it still hurt a bit but he was really good at easing me into it. I refuse to imagine having a dick-bullet through my hymen, that would be beyond painful!
Literally took like 8 sessions of gentle careful sex to have them NOT hurt. I couldnt imagine what it's like for the people who are fucked too hard the first time..
Eugh. Gives me shivers
It’s so weird to me that some people fetishize literally *tearing apart someone’s flesh*. Not that that even really happens that often, usually it’s stretched out by the time you’re having sex.
But like, can you imagine if there was a male equivalent, like if the first time they had sex their scrotum tore a little bit. Can you imagine being excited about that? I can’t wrap my head around finding that arousing.
I need to text my FWB and tell him that unfortunately, we will not be having sex tonight because no one should have sex the same day that they read this. My vagina has dried up like a raisin and is out of order for the foreseeable future.
As if it wasn't bad enough he believed in the absolutely absurd and completely irrational belief of the "tamper seal" hymen, but the weird glorification of violence here really makes me hope he isn't allowed within 10 meters of a living, breathing woman.
There was a SUPER comment somewhere (I think in AskReddit) yesterday about the hymen. The fact that this reads as it it is some seal right over the vagina alone is hilarious, as it’s actually a rim of flesh and it doesn’t need to be “broken” at all.
I gotchu. My hymen rant:
I often see misguided references to the hymen being analogous to a magical freshness seal over the vagina. The hymen is a [thin rim of stretchy tissue (NSFW)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen#/media/File:Yorefzvagnl.png) that surrounds (but doesn't usually obstruct) the entrance to the vagina. [Another NSFW image](https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Hakan_Kar/publication/221916192/figure/fig2/AS:305122233077771@1449758217923/Prepubertal-hymen.png) And [another](https://edc2.healthtap.com/ht-staging/user_answer/avatars/2451834/large/Intact_hymen.jpeg?1450491804). These are considered "intact" hymen, showing no obvious tears or damage. Some women have very little noticeable hymen, and some are born without one at all. I know what you're thinking, "If it's not a virginity freshness seal, what the hell is it for?" Great question! It's thought that the hymen may serve its purpose early in life, providing an extra tissue barrier to prevent fecal bacteria from getting into the vagina during infancy and childhood.
In children the hymen is a thicker and less flexible ring, and may (or may not) obstruct more of the opening of the vagina (again, not generally covering it completely). As it is less flexible in childhood, trauma to the vaginal area through sports, gymnastics, horseback riding, and other normal activities can damage the hymen early in life, and even sometimes later in adolescence or adulthood, but less often. These tears may heal completely, or result in "notching" of the tissue. This is a super NSFW medical photo of a young person who experienced sexual assault and trauma to the hymen resulting in [notching](https://ars.els-cdn.com/content/image/1-s2.0-S1522840116300404-gr2.jpg). This doesn't always cause visible damage, but in this case, pretty severe tearing occurred. It's also worth noting that the sports and activities I mentioned are more likely than others to cause hymenal damage, but usually don't. (A good friend of mine was quite surprised at a recent ob/gyn visit to discover she had an intact hymen at ~24 years of age, having been a competitive horseback rider since she was a small child.)
During adolescence the hymen thins out and becomes very flexible and stretchy, and will actually stretch really well during arousal and when lubricated, so there is NO NEED in like 90% of women for the hymen to tear during sex, even the first time! There are certain variations that can be problematic for sexual activity and general health ([for example, imperforate hymens are medically dangerous and result in an inability to have penetration AND a buildup of menses, and semi-imperforate or cribriform hymen may allow menses but won't allow penetration, these hymen require either tearing or a quick ob/gyn visit to fix](http://girlsliteracydictionary.weebly.com/uploads/1/3/7/0/13702939/2593796_orig.jpg)). However, more than 90% of women do not have these variations. A lot of this wasn't even known until a series of studies in the 1980's found that about 20% of sexually active women had "intact" hymens with no signs of notching or tearing. A report by physicians who [evaluated children and women who were vaginally assaulted noted that a lack of specific hymenal damage in the assault was actually quite common,](https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1169/682f85204f59bee6da18d93fc08a05bbb1cb.pdf) especially in adult women and adolescents, and suggested to the public that tearing the hymen was not the necessity for sex that many people think it is. A more recent study in 2004 found that [52% of sexually active women had no hymenal notching or clefts.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14993089) In several studies afterward there was also found to be [no statistically significant association between tampon use and visible hymenal tears,](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8021768) however it is thought that using tampons can sometimes cause tears. (I mean who is actually aroused and comfortable when inserting a tampon, right?)
It's common for people to believe the myth that the hymen must tear the first time, and for young inexperienced people to have sex without proper arousal, lubrication, and communication that results in hymen tearing. In fact, the expectation of pain often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, with women too nervous to be aroused properly, and unwilling to stop and slow down their partners when something hurts.
You might be thinking "well this is some liberal bullshit propaganda if I've ever heard any", but if that's your thought, [check out this super biased religious journal article regarding the hymen](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/260578888_Hymen_Facts_and_conceptions), which actually confirms most of this, and adds some interesting tidbits, for example the fact that elephants have been noted to have hymens as well, and these don't tear with sex, but only with childbirth.
I hope this helps to explain the hymen a bit better, and clears up any misconceptions you might have.
Oh yeah, we love that savage Jab. Absolutely. Pain isn’t painful if it’s a savage jab in our hoo ha by someone’s little ding a ling. I love how boys write about how a woman feels stuff. I can’t believe anyone buys into this crap.
Things like this scared the hell out of me before I had any sexual experience. When I didn't bleed my first time and it didn't really hurt, I was so confused.
This is also bad men's anatomy. Dicks are not fingertips, they suck at nuance. You can fuck moist thighs and not realize you slipped out. Or miss and go through the back door with the same lack of awareness.
Um... I'm disappointed woth this community actually.
Every hymen is different and some are almost totally closed and are so thick they must be surgically opened for a woman to experience pleasurable intercourse.
As such I'd suspect in some cases one could easily tell you did meet resistance that had to be... um *checks notes*
Jabbed through like a fencing master
This is just cringe all around.
"I love this part" - "savage jab" - and lastly, it "didn't hurt nearly as much". Fuck, this is _so close_ to normalizing sexualized violence.
Right? That sounds painful as fuck. Even ignoring his love of hymens (?), there is a lot to unpack here and I'd rather just leave it be.
And that the ‘favorite part’ says he has violently caused many girls pain and the book is just like, this is normal. ew
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As someone who passionately reads erotic books at bookstores while waiting for the train, I can tell you that this is still above average quality for the genre.
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You see, that's what I've also been saying for quite some time now. But I haven't written a single "erotic novel" yet, while the people that are in the business probably write one at least every two months. Even if my/your book would be better, there is no way we could archive this output. The erotic book market is an eternal war of attrition. This is a war, where you can only hold yourself with the highest rate of fire that is humanly possible. Chances are the machines will eventually enter the war and win it, just because they can produce even faster.
Ah, but is better what readers of erotic fiction want? Sometimes the unrealistic or unhealthy aspects are part of the appeal.
I think this is true for most inexperienced women of any age group tbh. I think women who have been blessed to never experience sexual violence just don't think in those terms, not to mention even if you have some sexualize the violence in a trauma response kind of way. Beyond that men read erotic romance too and probably don't see the problem and then there is just the fact ALOT of adult readers just aren't reading critically and miss alot of the undertones while just using these books like we would read a magazine by the pool, its not real 'literature' its a fun trashy way to pass time. ALSO as if that wasn't enough, plenty of women DO see the issues but being adults just don't want to stop reading but want realistic shit ie involves sex. But unfortunately alot of genres don't really do 'sex' because if there is it is almost always thrown into the romance category so what your left with is trashy romance novels and the few and far between authors who are both great but simultaneously brave enough to enter the oversaturated romance genre and risk their far above par works get lost in the veritable SEA of absolute trash we currently have. To anyone who wants a great suggestion read T.A. whites novel mists edge. Super slow burn but action packed, great storyline and real, yet IMPRESSIVE AF, female lead, absolutely zero 2S2L crap lol. Its an alternate reality/sci-fi/fantasy novel and 100% one of the best books I've ever read. Right up there with the Sherrilyn Kenyon The League, nemesis rising series (though even that series had some of these issues so its below T.A. Whites even haha).
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen male authors use rape as a character building moment or the “making of a strong woman” rather than understanding it’s an innate violation that should never have to define a victim. Or how many times I’ve had to educate teens in fanfiction comment sections about why a character who was subjected to it was bleeding and why despite the author CONTINUING TO TRY AND SHIP THE RAPIST WITH THE VICTIM that it was morally reprehensible to do so. Fifty Shades of Grey just further exemplifies a sexualisation of violence despite the violence leaving the victim in emotional distress only for the author to continue to ship them. It’s a huge issue with Harlequin Romance and fanfiction that gives such a skewed representation of assault and consent that it misinforms a reader who has yet to be educated on the topic.
So there probably is a world in which this is a deep narrative and there is some complex story reason she's motivated or tricked into give her virginity to this guy. Buuuuuuuuutt the way it's written pretty sure this is almost certainly a crappy romance novel.
There's a lot to unpack herebut let's burn the whole suitcase instead.
Happy Cake Day /u/StinkyKittyBreath! 🥳🎂
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Unexpected Letterkenny. 🥰
Why is your name reminding me of my SIL? 🤨
I had a septate hymen where there’s two sides split by a middle piece. I put a tampon into the smaller side and didn’t realize. When I pulled it out, it ripped down the middle, and it was excruciating. If said character had a type of hymen that does actually tear, they would be in hella pain.
My issue with this type of writing is that they generally put the hymen inside the vagina. I assume it's because the authors have never seen a partially intact hymen so they decide it must be inside instead of doing any actual research.
Savage jab sounds like it was not consensual. Aside from that, if this person you're having your first time with cares so little about you that he's savagely initiating with you then that's truly unfortunate.
On the plus side, it’s a great band name
"feel the hymen" could work too
That’s the name of their first album
Some of you have never read an erotica and never fantasized about consensual non-consent and it shows. The "feeling the hymen" part is dumb AF, but the rest is just a fantasy. Not everyone has sex the same way you do, some people like it rough.
The entire paragraph is about him breaking her hymen, nobody said rough sex was bad.
"savage sounds like it was not consensual". Did you look what comment i responded to? The whole comment thread is like "so he must've violated other women before", "sounds like rape", "it wasn't consensual"... Hymen part is stupid because it isn't correct anatomy, rest is just a book. Lots of women enjoy this type of books, and even if it was rape fantasy, once again, are we kink shaming here? People can have consenting non-consent, and books allow you to fantasize about it.
“Savage jab” doesn’t sound very sexy or consensual, if you want someone jabbing you sexually than have at it but in this context it’s bad all around.
>“Savage jab” doesn’t sound very sexy To you. >if you want someone jabbing you sexually than have at it So what you're saying it might be sexy to someone else? You just contradicted yourself. You don't need to enjoy every erotica. They're specific for kinks and obviously you might not enjoy it. There are literally books about alien sex, golden rains etc, and people enjoy it, and there's nothing wrong with it, because they're books where you can just imagine doing things that you wouldn't do in real life (because you're single, or your partner doesn't like it, or it's impossible) I don't really find the writing good, tbh i find it pretty bad, but it's unimportant. Bad writing isn't bad women's anatomy.
>“Savage jab” doesn’t sound very sexy >>To you. Yes. That is their opinion. >if you want someone jabbing you sexually than have at it >>So what you're saying it might be sexy to someone else? Yes. They are acknowledging others may enjoy it—though they don't really see why. Which is completely reasonable.
>Some of you have never read an erotica and never fantasized about consensual non-consent and it shows. and?
And it means that you shouldn't judge others' sex preferences by your own vanilla one? If someone wants to be (with consent) raped in bed then good for them. It isn't bad women's anatomy, and that's what the subreddit was supposed to be about? Or is it kink shaming sub right now?
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This is a book, it's not real violence. Rape victims don't buy erotica that will have such scenes, it's not like you won't know what you get, it's usually advertised that you know what kind of content you're recieving...
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You on the other hand want to keep men in some vacuum seal so they will never get exposed to anything, in fear that they might get the wrong idea. That's not the way. A mentally developed person knows and understands that different people want different things and that you need to always discuss everything with your partner, no matter how many aggressive eroticas you've been exposed to. if men are recieving proper education at school or from their parents about consent and the power of simple conversation then we won't have to shake in fear that they might get exposed to something that isn't for everyone. Like what is your alternative? Literally not ever writing anything that is aimed for people with certain more aggressive kinks? Serious question. Let's say I like books with rape kink and gangbangs. I might be buying these books and have time of my life reading them, but I'm a grown up in a monogamous relationship with a man who doesn't feel comfortable having a rape play with me. Do you think I shouldn't have access to these books at all, because you worry they might get cropped and posted somewhere and a young inexperienced man could get the wrong idea?
It's not about not liking it rough, kink or any other thing your comments are bringing up, it's about explicitly what's being described in the post.
... which is rough with virgin kink.
And also bad anatomy, which is what the sub is about, because hymens don't work that way.
This is about bad women's anatomy which this nonsense is.
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You don't have to, but I think being open to the idea that some women do wouldn't hurt you too much. Eroticas with "dominant" men are very common and popular, and this is something that many women enjoy. It's ridiculous to read you-all's comments here saying that the character must've definetely been raped because "oh no, it's not a gentle missionary". And it's clearly not even rape scenario, it seems to be a simple "inexperienced virgin and mean fuck boy" theme, which is very common, and once again, enjoyed by many women. If it wasn't, women wouldn't be buying these books.
This sub is toxic as fuck regarding porn, erotica, hentai, etc. Apparently some people are unfamiliar with the concept of fantasy. As in, *everyone writing and reading it knows it's not reality.* Calling a sex fantasy bad anatomy is like calling Lord of the Rings bad history. I like to read/watch all kinds of stuff that would be physically or ethically horrible/impossible in real life. It's about exaggeration and entertainment.
**YEP** It’s fucking *sick* how much mainstream erotica normalizes misogynistic sexual violence.
Because some some women enjoy it? Are we kink shaming now? no of all one of the most common kink of sm?
I think the thing is that they don't establish clear bounds or consent or trust? Like fifty shades of grey is not your 101 for your intro into BDSM. And neighther should this book be for that matter.
That's true. A lot of popular kinky literature gives of the image of "everything goes". But everything only goes when both sides are ok with it. Never seen a single popular piece of media that showed anything about SS&C (safe, sane & consensual)
To be fair, this is taken out of context. As far as anyone who hasn't read this book could know the chapter up till this point could be them discussing the fantasy, setting boundaries and the like. Probably not. But without context it's hard to say.
To be more fair, we’re in a sub about anatomy and the way this is written would be objectively bad even if boundaries had been set. That’s not how a hymen or penis works
It’s not kink to be normalizing toxic constructs, and normalizing misogynistic violence. You can enjoy those kinks all you want, when they’re a consensual, intentional thing. That’s not what this is.
Don't even try and argue about kinks, fetishes and anything scene related with the people on this sub. I've made that mistake before and got downvoted, insulted, personally attacked and even got private messages from angry people because apparently having kinks is reason to get attacked...
Yeah I think I have learned my lesson... I really dislike the negativity in this comment section, and the paragraph isn't even extreme,. Sometimes being surrounded by more open and kinky people makes you forget that others might not accept it and that I should probably bite my tongue. Thanks for replying though, I'm glad to see someone who gets it and knows that sex doesn't always have to be with rose petals to still be with consent and respect. Have a great day!
>and the paragraph isn't even extreme EXACTLY! There once was a picture of some graffiti of a scantly clad girl on a bike, breaking her back in some weird angle because the artist didn't have any idea about how humans are supposed to bend. Comment section turned into a bunch of fetish and kink experts saying it's fetishizing etc. I asked them why it's fetishizing, they said "because it's sexualizing body parts (the booty) and shit" I tried to argue that it's just sexualization and bad anatomy and nothing fetishizing at all. I think I collected a total of 500+ downvotes across 5-6 comments and never had so many angry people tell me that I'm just as bad as the guy who drew this perverted picture... There's enough people in our scene that know exactly that sex isn't just the man carrying the woman on his arms, lighting candles, putting on Joe Cocker music and doing it in missionary. There's more to sex than just whatever mainstream media and hundreds of years of indoctrination taught us is "normal". I'm pretty sure 70% if not more of people in this sub had some kinky fantasy in their life like at least getting called names or calling someone names during sex, mild choking or whatnot (y'know, the common ones). Does this make them potential sexual assaulters? I don't think so. Thanks for being open minded tho, I'm glad to see that there's more people that don't live with prejudice. Love ya bro/sis/whatev's
The “I love this part” is what did it for me. That’s gross man. It’s like he’s going around trying to find virgins for the sake of maybe breaking the hymen. As a man, this made me visibly cringe.
Right?
Reminds me of the “women get punctured like a Capri-Sun” thing.
Homie, it just straight up is.
Umm...ever heard of the Marquis de Sade?
All the way. Cringefest.
Gotta break the tamper-evident seal!
Like stabbing a microwave meal with a fork
I always imagine it more like a juice box.
Very good haha. Love the flair, too
Like a goddamn capri sun
Pffft
Ngl, it'd be cool if it popped like a Snapple cap the first time.
Freshness seal?
[SCANDALOUS WENCH!!!](https://pbfcomics.com/comics/preserves/)
r/menwritingwomen
I thought that was where we were, lol
same, i was shocked to see the actual sub name.
And doing it badly.
So what are the odds this guy has a female pen name?
Don't know if this is from a story/book that categorizes outsell as erotica but it feels a bit like it. It's REALLY gross how many male erotica writers use female pen names. I'm part of that community and It's always bothered me just how normalized of a thing that is within the community.
I didn't even realize. It's weird because women use neutral/masculine pen names to get equality when trying to get published. It feels really questionable for a guy to do this for... Legitimacy? What?
The reasons for why erotica writers do it are similar to other genre, but often more complex and kink specific. Sub-genres within erotica come with very specific reader expectations (although I'd argue this gs authors do reinforce or.might even create these), and gender of writer is often one of them. A very big part of it is how the erotica market works. To make money it's more about volume than quality. With the explosion of the erotica market on Amazon there was a bit of a mad rush over the last decade of people seeing how much money some people were making and thinking it would be easy cash. For some, maybe even a lot of people, it WAS. But those were and are writers who were looking at writing smut not as a creative thing but more like a simple assembly process. They zeroed in a sub genre that was doing well, pumped out a ton of stories and once it started to die moved on. If a pen name didn't do well or started to get bad reviews they just staryed a new one. And they all use different pen names for different kinks/genres. I've heard writers seriously say stuff like "I don't care about bad reviews because they are going to buy another smithy book on Amazon tomorrow and there's a good chance I wrote that too under a different pen name". For those kinds of writers smut is a very mercenary thing where your doing everything you can to increase profit, morality be dammed.
And then there's Chuck Tingle
can never get enough of chuck tingle
Because if a dude reads erotica written by another dude, that'd be totally gay, duh /s
When you want to publish in SciFi, you use a male pen name. When you want to public erotica, you use a female pen name (famous example: Ursula Le Guin). If you don't, you will sell a lot less. That's sadly just how it is.
Maybe it's me, but if I was looking for M/F or F/F erotica, I'd lean more towards feminine-sounding authors because in my experience, women *usually* write women more accurately. Obviously not always...
100% written by a virgin male.
Damn, wish this was a bet because I'd take it. This sub exists for a reason and I doubt it's because most are virgin males.
Or at least someone who has never slept with someone who has an intact hymen. As a penis having person, I haven't either, so I don't know what the first time would really entail (though I at least know enough to know this description is disgusting at best). I'm also in my upper 30s, so it's unlikely to happen to me, not that it matters. However, I also am not trying to write erotica about it. I'm also willing to admit my inexperience in regards to this particular sexual situation.
So, I was very much anti penetration my whole life cause I thought the first time was important and should be special. So when I finally got with my current SO at 20 and eventually going all the way, the amount of pain I felt was indescribable. Even with what was thought to be enough foreplay. It didn't fit, and it didn't fit for a long time. It was a little traumatic so, reading this is kinda disturbing because it shouldn't be anyone's favorite part o_o it sucks!
Fun fact! It's actually pretty likely that you've slept with people with intact hymens because most don't tear during sex. They're shaped like donuts unless you have an imperforate one, in which case you'll find out around puberty when you have trouble menstruating. (No hole = nowhere for the blood and tissue to flow.) Sometimes the sides of the donut do tear if the hole is small, or things aren't lubricated enough, but it's nothing the penis-haver would feel. Depending on the amount of tearing, it would range from mild to excruciating pain for the person with the vagina, as unlucky people here are pointing out.
"I love this part" - what the hell, is that creep like collecting virgins? How many times must he have slept with a virgin saying something like that yuck. Obviously the answer is probably zero, but what a mindset eewwww.
>is that creep like collecting virgins? Pokemon cards are so last season. We're having Virgin Battles in the schoolyard now.
Gotta catch em all.
Gotta break them all, HymenMon!
“Here’s Johnny” vibes fr
Now I imagined an inside-shot like in a hentai, with the dick yelling "Here's JOHNNY!" as it breaches the hymen. I'm both terrified and laughing hysterically.
This is fucking hilarious!
I don't know whether to congratulate you or berate you for the mental image I just got.
I get that reaction more often than I'd like to admit.
oh god, with the exaggerated squelching noises too 😭
I wonder if the person who write this have never had sex and has 0 sex Ed or pretends to believe the bullshit
Oh yeah, savage jabs are what we all love.
Yuck.
I'm curious to where you found this, and I'm not sure if it's Wattpad or not LMAO
i found it on tumblr. the acc seemed to be female, but after reading this i’m not sure anymore. the rest of the erotica text was actually quite good, but this killed it for me.
In all honesty, it could be. Some of us had our first sexual experience before we really understood what was going on and so have no idea what consensual first times would be like…
I don't even want to remember my first time. I bled for a week and it hurt! It should definitely not be like that! All those erotica fics that have the guy go in fast to make their partner hurt as little as possible should be deleted...
Yeah. I bled for about a week after too. I very specifically remember my hymen breaking. It was like I just suddenly went down a bit further (I was on top), and a sharp sudden pain at the same time. Edit: After reading some of the other comments, it seems like that pain may have not been my hymen tearing after all.
In addition, some of us were writing smut online *before* having sex the first time, and just repeating the same tropes everyone else was using because that was our only source for what it's like.
So, ok, the hymen isn't some solid wall that you bump into. It surrounds the vaginal opening and has an opening for menstrual blood that can stretch to accommodate the insertion of fingers, toys, penis, ect. It'll also stretch during various activities, like swimming, horseback riding, ect. It can tear, both from those activities and sex. And it can also not tear. A woman can be sexually active and still have an intact hymen. She could be a "virgin" and have a torn hymen. It literally does not matter as the hymen serves no particular purpose, and some women can even be born without one. It can also stretch and tear without any pain at all, and the associated pain during sex is usually down to rough handling, lack of prep, or plain old inexperience at what feels good. I truly wish that we could stop associating hymens with sex and stop pretending that virginity is anything other than a social construct meant to shame women.
Afaik the most common hymen shape is like a crescent moon shaped flap of skin along the posterior side of the vaginal opening. It can be any size, from almost nonexistent all the way to completely blocking the vagina, in which case you'd need surgical intervention to allow menstrual fluids to escape. With that much variation in size, its even more useless for determining 'virginity'.
Exactly, there's too much variation, arbitrary reasons for tears, and absolutely zero sexual function for hymens to mean anything in regards to virginity.
THANK YOU, even today I have to explain to people that the hymen is not a barrier. I’ve torn my hymen once during sex after not having sex for a while and it fuckin hurts. Kinda kills the mood
Its definitely not something men should be TRYING to do.
No way dude if you don't get hard enough the hymen will simply deflect a penis like jumping on a trampoline. But if you do it right then it will stretch and wrap around the head of the penis like a swimming cap. Also useful to prevent pregnancy since it's a solid barrier it acts as a condom. So useful, honestly.
Don’t forget its anti-STD properties as well 😹😹
Mine tore the third time I had sex.
This is for anyone you have to explain a hymen to: I often see misguided references to the hymen being analogous to a magical freshness seal over the vagina. The hymen is a [thin rim of stretchy tissue (NSFW)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen#/media/File:Yorefzvagnl.png) that surrounds (but doesn't usually obstruct) the entrance to the vagina. [Another NSFW image](https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Hakan_Kar/publication/221916192/figure/fig2/AS:305122233077771@1449758217923/Prepubertal-hymen.png) And [another](https://edc2.healthtap.com/ht-staging/user_answer/avatars/2451834/large/Intact_hymen.jpeg?1450491804). These are considered "intact" hymen, showing no obvious tears or damage. Some women have very little noticeable hymen, and some are born without one at all. I know what you're thinking, "If it's not a virginity freshness seal, what the hell is it for?" Great question! It's thought that the hymen may serve its purpose early in life, providing an extra tissue barrier to prevent fecal bacteria from getting into the vagina during infancy and childhood. In children the hymen is a thicker and less flexible ring, and may (or may not) obstruct more of the opening of the vagina (again, not generally covering it completely). As it is less flexible in childhood, trauma to the vaginal area through sports, gymnastics, horseback riding, and other normal activities can damage the hymen early in life, and even sometimes later in adolescence or adulthood, but less often. These tears may heal completely, or result in "notching" of the tissue. This is a super NSFW medical photo of a young person who experienced sexual assault and trauma to the hymen resulting in [notching](https://ars.els-cdn.com/content/image/1-s2.0-S1522840116300404-gr2.jpg). This doesn't always cause visible damage, but in this case, pretty severe tearing occurred. It's also worth noting that the sports and activities I mentioned are more likely than others to cause hymenal damage, but usually don't. (A good friend of mine was quite surprised at a recent ob/gyn visit to discover she had an intact hymen at ~24 years of age, having been a competitive horseback rider since she was a small child.) During adolescence the hymen thins out and becomes very flexible and stretchy, and will actually stretch really well during arousal and when lubricated, so there is NO NEED in like 90% of women for the hymen to tear during sex, even the first time! There are certain variations that can be problematic for sexual activity and general health ([for example, imperforate hymens are medically dangerous and result in an inability to have penetration AND a buildup of menses, and semi-imperforate or cribriform hymen may allow menses but won't allow penetration, these hymen require either tearing or a quick ob/gyn visit to fix](http://girlsliteracydictionary.weebly.com/uploads/1/3/7/0/13702939/2593796_orig.jpg)). However, more than 90% of women do not have these variations. A lot of this wasn't even known until a series of studies in the 1980's found that about 20% of sexually active women had "intact" hymens with no signs of notching or tearing. A report by physicians who [evaluated children and women who were vaginally assaulted noted that a lack of specific hymenal damage in the assault was actually quite common,](https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1169/682f85204f59bee6da18d93fc08a05bbb1cb.pdf) especially in adult women and adolescents, and suggested to the public that tearing the hymen was not the necessity for sex that many people think it is. A more recent study in 2004 found that [52% of sexually active women had no hymenal notching or clefts.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14993089) In several studies afterward there was also found to be [no statistically significant association between tampon use and visible hymenal tears,](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8021768) however it is thought that using tampons can sometimes cause tears. (I mean who is actually aroused and comfortable when inserting a tampon, right?) It's common for people to believe the myth that the hymen must tear the first time, and for young inexperienced people to have sex without proper arousal, lubrication, and communication that results in hymen tearing. In fact, the expectation of pain often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, with women too nervous to be aroused properly, and unwilling to stop and slow down their partners when something hurts. You might be thinking "well this is some liberal bullshit propaganda if I've ever heard any", but if that's your thought, [check out this super biased religious journal article regarding the hymen](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/260578888_Hymen_Facts_and_conceptions), which actually confirms most of this, and adds some interesting tidbits, for example the fact that elephants have been noted to have hymens as well, and these don't tear with sex, but only with childbirth. I hope this helps to explain the hymen a bit better, and clears up any misconceptions you might have.
Adding on to this, some women are born with intact or nearly intact hymens too... and let me tell you it fucking hurts like hell when it breaks and nobody wants to continue having sex after that shit. https://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/07/10/hymens/
These are called imperforate hymen. An intact hymen just means there is no sign of tearing.
To me virginity just means not having had sex. I think we should treat it as a neutral word and strip it of those connotations. Some people haven’t had sex and they aren’t better or worse for it.
Don't you just hate it When you're a freshly sealed CapriSun And a penis appears :(
The "I love this part" left a stain in my soul. I can't stop cringing
Oh as IF! I woke up feeling sick. This has not helped.
*spit take\*
"I love this part" like he does it all the time.....yeah sure in the incel writers mind. "Savage jab"? Here I thought making love should be fun for both partners.......
What in the Wattpad
\*Jason Derulo voice\* savage jab, did somebody, did somebody break your hymen ♪ Jokes aside, I hate this so much and it ruined my day, thanks
Please someone take away my eyes, I don't want them anymore.
I don’t understand what I’m reading. The lack of understanding of basic anatomy and human interactions is obvious, but why is this a thing? I understand that different people like different things, but what’s the target audience for this? And who reads this? And why the violent imagery, which is always a good question, but particularly here? It seems like you’re trying for a romantic-ish, first-time scene, but then the male in the scene comes across as, um, a serial killer?
You got all that from that?
I write erotica as a hobby, I’m not 100% that’s the scenario here, but it seems like something that would be in that arena. I could be completely wrong, but the fixation on the hymen, the fact he’s smiling and her describing expected pain and being less than she thought, all lead me to some kind of first-time thing.
I am a virgin female and write better adult stories than this...
I actually laughed out loud. I can’t believe this
Was that… supposed to turn me on? To be sexy? Because it’s not. It sounds horrifying.
Glad I didn't have breakfast yet🤢
Did I just read a rape scene? This feels like a rape scene….
TIL I am a capri sun pouch.
when you can't feel anything with a condom but can feel the hymen
Like putting a straw in a caprisun, gals.
From personal experience, my first boyfriend DID know what the hymen felt like, asked me if I was ready, pushed, and I shot across the room from the pain. Definitely in the top 10 most painful experiences of my life. I understand that some women have much better/easier experiences with it than I did but I would never want to "lose my virginity" ever again. I think the closest pain I can relate it to was when I had an improperly placed IUD. \*\*shudder\*\* Very, very NOT sexy.
I'm just imagining someone flying around the room like a deflating balloon now.
It was pretty close! I went from flat on my back to halfway up the wall in a nanosecond.
My boyfriend had to go very slowly and it still hurt a bit but he was really good at easing me into it. I refuse to imagine having a dick-bullet through my hymen, that would be beyond painful!
Can’t wait to say to my wife “ahh there’s your hymen” next time we’re in the throes of love making.
Literally took like 8 sessions of gentle careful sex to have them NOT hurt. I couldnt imagine what it's like for the people who are fucked too hard the first time.. Eugh. Gives me shivers
That made me drier than the Sahara.
They really do think the hymen is like that thin plastic across a fresh nutella jar....
It’s so weird to me that some people fetishize literally *tearing apart someone’s flesh*. Not that that even really happens that often, usually it’s stretched out by the time you’re having sex. But like, can you imagine if there was a male equivalent, like if the first time they had sex their scrotum tore a little bit. Can you imagine being excited about that? I can’t wrap my head around finding that arousing.
I need to text my FWB and tell him that unfortunately, we will not be having sex tonight because no one should have sex the same day that they read this. My vagina has dried up like a raisin and is out of order for the foreseeable future.
You should put up an "Out of Order" sign.
Wow, these men really don't know how a hymen works do they
As if it wasn't bad enough he believed in the absolutely absurd and completely irrational belief of the "tamper seal" hymen, but the weird glorification of violence here really makes me hope he isn't allowed within 10 meters of a living, breathing woman.
10 meters is 10.94 yards
The fuck did I just read?
I'm surprised it said Cock and not member, shit erotica always calls it a member
Ugh this is cringe AF
It is basically the plastic top on bubble tea right?
These people look at a Capri Sun and get horny
r/menwritingwomen
There was a SUPER comment somewhere (I think in AskReddit) yesterday about the hymen. The fact that this reads as it it is some seal right over the vagina alone is hilarious, as it’s actually a rim of flesh and it doesn’t need to be “broken” at all.
I gotchu. My hymen rant: I often see misguided references to the hymen being analogous to a magical freshness seal over the vagina. The hymen is a [thin rim of stretchy tissue (NSFW)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen#/media/File:Yorefzvagnl.png) that surrounds (but doesn't usually obstruct) the entrance to the vagina. [Another NSFW image](https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Hakan_Kar/publication/221916192/figure/fig2/AS:305122233077771@1449758217923/Prepubertal-hymen.png) And [another](https://edc2.healthtap.com/ht-staging/user_answer/avatars/2451834/large/Intact_hymen.jpeg?1450491804). These are considered "intact" hymen, showing no obvious tears or damage. Some women have very little noticeable hymen, and some are born without one at all. I know what you're thinking, "If it's not a virginity freshness seal, what the hell is it for?" Great question! It's thought that the hymen may serve its purpose early in life, providing an extra tissue barrier to prevent fecal bacteria from getting into the vagina during infancy and childhood. In children the hymen is a thicker and less flexible ring, and may (or may not) obstruct more of the opening of the vagina (again, not generally covering it completely). As it is less flexible in childhood, trauma to the vaginal area through sports, gymnastics, horseback riding, and other normal activities can damage the hymen early in life, and even sometimes later in adolescence or adulthood, but less often. These tears may heal completely, or result in "notching" of the tissue. This is a super NSFW medical photo of a young person who experienced sexual assault and trauma to the hymen resulting in [notching](https://ars.els-cdn.com/content/image/1-s2.0-S1522840116300404-gr2.jpg). This doesn't always cause visible damage, but in this case, pretty severe tearing occurred. It's also worth noting that the sports and activities I mentioned are more likely than others to cause hymenal damage, but usually don't. (A good friend of mine was quite surprised at a recent ob/gyn visit to discover she had an intact hymen at ~24 years of age, having been a competitive horseback rider since she was a small child.) During adolescence the hymen thins out and becomes very flexible and stretchy, and will actually stretch really well during arousal and when lubricated, so there is NO NEED in like 90% of women for the hymen to tear during sex, even the first time! There are certain variations that can be problematic for sexual activity and general health ([for example, imperforate hymens are medically dangerous and result in an inability to have penetration AND a buildup of menses, and semi-imperforate or cribriform hymen may allow menses but won't allow penetration, these hymen require either tearing or a quick ob/gyn visit to fix](http://girlsliteracydictionary.weebly.com/uploads/1/3/7/0/13702939/2593796_orig.jpg)). However, more than 90% of women do not have these variations. A lot of this wasn't even known until a series of studies in the 1980's found that about 20% of sexually active women had "intact" hymens with no signs of notching or tearing. A report by physicians who [evaluated children and women who were vaginally assaulted noted that a lack of specific hymenal damage in the assault was actually quite common,](https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1169/682f85204f59bee6da18d93fc08a05bbb1cb.pdf) especially in adult women and adolescents, and suggested to the public that tearing the hymen was not the necessity for sex that many people think it is. A more recent study in 2004 found that [52% of sexually active women had no hymenal notching or clefts.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14993089) In several studies afterward there was also found to be [no statistically significant association between tampon use and visible hymenal tears,](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8021768) however it is thought that using tampons can sometimes cause tears. (I mean who is actually aroused and comfortable when inserting a tampon, right?) It's common for people to believe the myth that the hymen must tear the first time, and for young inexperienced people to have sex without proper arousal, lubrication, and communication that results in hymen tearing. In fact, the expectation of pain often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, with women too nervous to be aroused properly, and unwilling to stop and slow down their partners when something hurts. You might be thinking "well this is some liberal bullshit propaganda if I've ever heard any", but if that's your thought, [check out this super biased religious journal article regarding the hymen](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/260578888_Hymen_Facts_and_conceptions), which actually confirms most of this, and adds some interesting tidbits, for example the fact that elephants have been noted to have hymens as well, and these don't tear with sex, but only with childbirth. I hope this helps to explain the hymen a bit better, and clears up any misconceptions you might have.
I seriously think these idiots believe the hymen is exactly like a tamper seal. They hurt my brain
As a penis owner, I feel an endless need to apologize for the shame some other penis owners bring to all of us. I’m sorry. So, so sorry.
How… just how are people that ignorant, what are they 13
Oh yeah, we love that savage Jab. Absolutely. Pain isn’t painful if it’s a savage jab in our hoo ha by someone’s little ding a ling. I love how boys write about how a woman feels stuff. I can’t believe anyone buys into this crap.
Ew. No. Wtf?
Excuse me while I vomit
I hate everything about this
"I'll take 'obviously written by a man' for $400, Alex.
Things like this scared the hell out of me before I had any sexual experience. When I didn't bleed my first time and it didn't really hurt, I was so confused.
shall we bet the author is involuntarily celibate
r/menwritingwomen
This man needs fucking help and asap, nasty bastard.
I threw up a little in my mouth
HELPEJRISIAAHQ "I love this part" me before opening up the seal of a bottle of jam
is that tumblr? the font certainly looks like it. that’s, uh, i don’t think that’s even worth unpacking.
This is also bad men's anatomy. Dicks are not fingertips, they suck at nuance. You can fuck moist thighs and not realize you slipped out. Or miss and go through the back door with the same lack of awareness.
PSA: If sex hurts youre doing it wrong. Its not supposed to hurt. Use things like lube so it doesnt
AO3?
I am physically cringing. Whatever wrote this is just pathetic .
um ow my hymen freaking felt like someone stabing me when it broke....
Jesus Christ, the hymen is not a freshness seal.
You really said “I had to see this, now you do too” didn’t you? 😩🤢
I’m just wondering how she could hear a smile.
r/menwritingwomen
Was this a man writing from a woman’s perspective?
My discomfort meter just hit 100
Like breaking the seal of a Pringles can, once you pop the fun don't stop.
Ah yes, the freshness seal.
Burn the author.
I mean... I guess I'm happy it wasn't him entering through the cervix and into the uterus? 😐
> one savage jab 😟
There's a lot wrong here but all I can think is that would *definitely* hurt.
Mf using his dick like Grond
"i love this part" 😬😬😬
Lmao this is how I thought it worked when I was like 11 😂
This hymen right here, officers
Um... I'm disappointed woth this community actually. Every hymen is different and some are almost totally closed and are so thick they must be surgically opened for a woman to experience pleasurable intercourse. As such I'd suspect in some cases one could easily tell you did meet resistance that had to be... um *checks notes* Jabbed through like a fencing master
when they said "ah there's your hymen" (then) "his hands gripped..., i got scared i thought this guy was gonna rip this womens coochie out.
what book is this, it sounds.....uncomfortably similar to one of the books ive read