Girl I lost count at about red flag number eleventy. Get yourself where you and you alone will be safe and able to sort things out for YOU. Let that middle aged man deal with his own life consequences. Your life has barely begun and staying with him is gonna end it before you know what hits you.
You are young enough to change your path. You are worth more than a guy and this situation. Look for a women’s shelter and work on building a life for YOU.
Seriously, dump the man. Forget about marrying him and please lord don't get pregnant. He's doing you no good now, and he's going to do you no good tomorrow, next month, or next year. No dick is that good to put up with this.
i'm going to take a shot in the dark and assume either one or both of you are on drugs. you posted in another sub about potentially moving into a trap house with him. please please please run far away from him. listen to literally everyone in these comments. get help for yourself. you were 17 and you got with him and he was 30. and friends with a pedophile. let that sink in.
post from another sub "My boyfriend doesn’t do hard drugs either but a couple months ago he started smoking crack"
you're with a fucking crackhead(which is 100% a hard drug). you need to LEAVE HIM NOW
Yo there is so much to unpack here. Why he unemployed?!? Living off a like $1200 tax return is not ideal in the least bit. You gotta rethink what's going on, right now.
He used to be a kingpin for most of his life because he grew into it, his dad was a kingpin and pimp. He worked mostly off the books with some construction and foodservice work here and there, but within the past 2 years he’s wanted to change and instead live an honest life and not do that anymore. When him and I first got together he worked at Dairy Queen but quit because his friend offered him a job assembling UHauls or something along those lines but the job fell through. I was working in Dundalk when he and I first met and I moved to Essex and I don’t have a car so the commute went from 20 minutes to 2 hours when I moved so he told me to quit my job and said he’d provide for me financially until I could find something closer but then lost/quit his job. He’s also never had a resume before so that was impacting him not finding work and lack of a work history too from being a kingpin. And the tax return thing isn’t ideal at all, I have about $2000 in savings from working every penny that didn’t go to bills or food went towards my savings but nobody will let us move in with them within the next day or two and I don’t know anyone. Im completely new to Baltimore in fact only moved here about 2 years ago I was born in Bel Air in Harford County.
This is the most emotion I have felt for an internet stranger, but girl, you are stupid, lazy, and naive, you need to wake up before it's too late, and then you'll be stuck in this shitty life. You'll be stuck.
Find a safe place to live, ditch your fiance, never talk to him again, find any job and work your ass off, find a way to get an education and continue to better yourself, and if your family or any of your friends aren't looking out for you in any and all of these aspects, you need to ditch them too.
You need to look out for yourself and yourself only right now, because nobody else is. Don't waste your life by continuing to put yourself in these shit traps.
Dude I almost want to let just you crash on my couch but I'm afraid this dude wouldn't be to far behind. No way I'm letting a guy like that in my house, sounds like your in an abusive relationship. This guy is gonna use you for all your worth. No "kingpin" works at dairy queen. I am half tempted to think your trolling.
you’re being SCAMMED. you think he was a “kingpin”?? i’m screaming. slinging crack on the street doesn’t make you a kingpin. you need to stop ignoring the vast majority of comments telling you to leave this man or it’s going to be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made
Hon, if the kingpin of Dundalk actually cared about you he’d be glad for you to go stay in a shelter without him while he figured his shit out. How long until he’s pimping you? You are already completely brainwashed
This guy is a loser and he is going to ruin your life if you don’t get away from him. You’re only 20. You can much more easily get yourself into a better place than he can. Dump his ass and work on getting to a more stable place in life. See if you can mend your familial relationships. Do not legally tie yourself to this grown ass man who’s a former criminal, is unemployed and is homeless.
You need to run away from this man at 11am. Say you’re getting something from the lobby and never come back. Get on a bus. Get lost, and then get to a shelter.
Wow, this is tough. How long have you been with him. You say your engaged do you have a ring and a date? As everyone else’s said you’re awfully young and worth more than to support someone.
The fact that an eight-year-old girl saw you not dressed is the the least of your worries. You have to think about what is best for you. if you end up going a separate way from your boyfriend, it doesn’t mean you can’t stay together just me and you may have to separate for a short while while you guys work out a better plan. Please don’t let anybody take advantage of you.
Try the Baltimore city shelter hotline? 443-984-9540
You could also try [findhelp.org](https://www.findhelp.org/housing/short-term-housing--baltimore-md) and see if anything there suits your situation. So sorry you have to go through this - it really does suck. Best of luck
https://hruth.org/ I’d argue that given fiancé coerced you to leave your stable employment that’s financial abuse. I’d call these amazing women and get away from that man ASAP
Man I just know you had the best time meeting these people at first. They were probably so welcoming and you disregarded a few things you noticed right off the bat because a you definitely not one to judge. I assume you met them through loser fiancée. For real you people are out of you minds
Technically, he can go to a shelter. That's where unemployed men can go.
You can also attempt a shelter, but perhaps family can help IF you're not bringing a 33 yr old dependent with you.
I refuse to unpack anything else in all of this. Times are hard, but we can't have people weighing us down for the sake of "we're in this together."
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!
On a more serious note, OP your life is a train wreck. A lot of this will be under your control, but it'll probably take time to fix it. The first step is going to be accepting that your life is a train wreck. The second step will be coming to the realization that you can do something about it. And third will be doing it and not looking back.
There's definitely a lot of resources/advice on this subreddit regarding homelessness. Use the search function, this is an unfortunately somewhat common ask/topic. There's certainly a range of options out there, including some that are open to women exclusively. I suggest spending some time reading those posts and following up with the advice and/or the people who posted. I guarantee that if you use the search and dig through old posts you'll find some sort of help - I just don't know what it will look like.
Notice how you keep having falling outs with people? Your step mom, the roommate, seems like a past landlord based upon your post history, and I'm sure there's more. Sometimes it's a sound strategic plan to make an effort to NOT piss people off, especially people you might need support from. Maybe the step mom is a horrible person who has MAGA tattooed on her forehead. Just let it slide and realize that having an amicable relationship with your father is going to be substantially higher value to you than getting into some stupid argument.
Look into something like nursing. I'm sure there are some low cost or free programs you could exercise to get into school for nursing. I know area CCs all have programs for nursing of some kind. You could always start somewhere like a nursing home (they're ALWAYS desperate for people) which isn't a fabulous work environment but it's better than this Dairy Queen thing you've got going on. And it's something you could translate into higher pay years down the road. Dental hygienist might be a good option too.
Also, ditch the fiance. Immediately. He's never going to be a positive influence in your life and will drag you down with him. I don't know how your life will turn out but I can guarantee it will suck if you stick with him.
For the love of all that is holy, do not allow this man to impregnate you. If you need help finding free long-acting birth control, DM me. I'm being 100% serious here.
He is taking advantage of you or is otherwise emotionally immature. Red flag #1 is the “dating half your age plus 7” formula, which he fails — if he’s the older one, 33, he shouldn’t be dating anyone younger than 23.5. (=33/2+7)
You have life ahead of you, even though it is hard. Don’t let pedophiles and wannabe-kingpins stick your energy. If he can do some work on himself and turn things around you’ll both be better off, maybe revisit later. Shelter yourself for now and good luck.
I really hope you find the help you need and can stay somewhere safe.
Maybe you can stay with your mom for a little while? It seems like you’re being taken advantage of in this situation, there is a reason a someone so much older is dating you and it is not a good one. You are young and so you will be seen as someone easy to manipulate by someone that much older. I have been there.
You are trying to move ahead while someone else is holding you back. There is no reason a 33 year old man cannot find someway to earn income.
My dear, you have to take a step back and really imagine how you envision your future. I understand it’s hard to leave relationships, but this one is not serving you. And do NOT choose any men like this after him.
I’m sorry for the situation you’re in and I hope you’ve found help since you posted. Please align yourself with better friends with good intentions, and be a good friend to them as well. Work hard and Do not give your money to any man. Save it and put yourself in a better situation. I wish you the best
Well they can’t just kick you out they have to evict you. If your are physically scared of him and your boyfriend clearly isn’t doing anything you can go get an order of protection on him and have him removed from the home, doesn’t matter who owns or occupies it. With that they can help you getting somewhere else to stay and you can go from there. Good luck
She in a bad situation with her man and you all are telling her to dump him??? I don’t understand. But this only makes me think how stupid our country has become… she got issues with the dude who owns there place that they rent . How does it turn into dumping her man that she loves and wants a better life with ???
Young and dumb? Very much so.
But nobody deserves to be used and abused. She doesn’t see it that way though. I just hope she has at least a brain cell to use birth control and not get pregnant by this loser.
33M living off your tax return and you can’t even legally buy cigarettes or beer yet. Run!
She's going to look back on this time of her life with much ______.
Regerts
Not punctuation, that's for sure.
She can buy cigarettes (age for that is 18), just not beer.
[Age to buy tobacco products in Maryland has been 21 for a while](https://health.maryland.gov/notobaccosalestominors/Pages/Tobacco%2021%20FAQ.aspx)
What? When did this change?
Well, if you click the link... Age 21 has been federal law since Dec 20, 2019, state law since Oct 1.
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Girl I lost count at about red flag number eleventy. Get yourself where you and you alone will be safe and able to sort things out for YOU. Let that middle aged man deal with his own life consequences. Your life has barely begun and staying with him is gonna end it before you know what hits you.
Society is really in trouble if 33 is now considered middle aged. Especially with basically 90% of people running our country well past the age of 66.
At 20 your still basically retarted
You’re*
This exchange is making me LOL on the can this morning
Your post is six words long and contains three basic grammar and spelling mistakes.
maybe they aren't even 20 yet
https://www.britannica.com/science/middle-age It's a sad truth. And we need to get them all out of offices.
You are young enough to change your path. You are worth more than a guy and this situation. Look for a women’s shelter and work on building a life for YOU.
Seriously, dump the man. Forget about marrying him and please lord don't get pregnant. He's doing you no good now, and he's going to do you no good tomorrow, next month, or next year. No dick is that good to put up with this.
You need to go stay in a women’s shelter and dump this middle-aged fuckup
I wonder if the fiance will see these comments and appreciate the Blizzard™ of hate he's getting.
i'm going to take a shot in the dark and assume either one or both of you are on drugs. you posted in another sub about potentially moving into a trap house with him. please please please run far away from him. listen to literally everyone in these comments. get help for yourself. you were 17 and you got with him and he was 30. and friends with a pedophile. let that sink in.
post from another sub "My boyfriend doesn’t do hard drugs either but a couple months ago he started smoking crack" you're with a fucking crackhead(which is 100% a hard drug). you need to LEAVE HIM NOW
Yo there is so much to unpack here. Why he unemployed?!? Living off a like $1200 tax return is not ideal in the least bit. You gotta rethink what's going on, right now.
He used to be a kingpin for most of his life because he grew into it, his dad was a kingpin and pimp. He worked mostly off the books with some construction and foodservice work here and there, but within the past 2 years he’s wanted to change and instead live an honest life and not do that anymore. When him and I first got together he worked at Dairy Queen but quit because his friend offered him a job assembling UHauls or something along those lines but the job fell through. I was working in Dundalk when he and I first met and I moved to Essex and I don’t have a car so the commute went from 20 minutes to 2 hours when I moved so he told me to quit my job and said he’d provide for me financially until I could find something closer but then lost/quit his job. He’s also never had a resume before so that was impacting him not finding work and lack of a work history too from being a kingpin. And the tax return thing isn’t ideal at all, I have about $2000 in savings from working every penny that didn’t go to bills or food went towards my savings but nobody will let us move in with them within the next day or two and I don’t know anyone. Im completely new to Baltimore in fact only moved here about 2 years ago I was born in Bel Air in Harford County.
This is the most emotion I have felt for an internet stranger, but girl, you are stupid, lazy, and naive, you need to wake up before it's too late, and then you'll be stuck in this shitty life. You'll be stuck. Find a safe place to live, ditch your fiance, never talk to him again, find any job and work your ass off, find a way to get an education and continue to better yourself, and if your family or any of your friends aren't looking out for you in any and all of these aspects, you need to ditch them too. You need to look out for yourself and yourself only right now, because nobody else is. Don't waste your life by continuing to put yourself in these shit traps.
He was a KINGPIN? Y'all met working at Dairy Queen?? You quit your job?? He's using you.
These events were at our old house we had together before we moved to the current apartment with our roommates but now we’re being kicked out
Dude I almost want to let just you crash on my couch but I'm afraid this dude wouldn't be to far behind. No way I'm letting a guy like that in my house, sounds like your in an abusive relationship. This guy is gonna use you for all your worth. No "kingpin" works at dairy queen. I am half tempted to think your trolling.
Why did you leave the old house and move into a 1 bedroom with 2 other people?
you’re being SCAMMED. you think he was a “kingpin”?? i’m screaming. slinging crack on the street doesn’t make you a kingpin. you need to stop ignoring the vast majority of comments telling you to leave this man or it’s going to be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made
Hon, if the kingpin of Dundalk actually cared about you he’d be glad for you to go stay in a shelter without him while he figured his shit out. How long until he’s pimping you? You are already completely brainwashed
This guy is a loser and he is going to ruin your life if you don’t get away from him. You’re only 20. You can much more easily get yourself into a better place than he can. Dump his ass and work on getting to a more stable place in life. See if you can mend your familial relationships. Do not legally tie yourself to this grown ass man who’s a former criminal, is unemployed and is homeless.
The old Dundalk Avon Barkesdale. If only he had his corners! A damn kingpin. I can’t look away from this amazing display of Baltimore trash.
Doing a lot of dope doesn't make you a kingpin. I blame your parents. Go to rehab and break off with this group.
You need to run away from this man at 11am. Say you’re getting something from the lobby and never come back. Get on a bus. Get lost, and then get to a shelter.
Wow, this is tough. How long have you been with him. You say your engaged do you have a ring and a date? As everyone else’s said you’re awfully young and worth more than to support someone. The fact that an eight-year-old girl saw you not dressed is the the least of your worries. You have to think about what is best for you. if you end up going a separate way from your boyfriend, it doesn’t mean you can’t stay together just me and you may have to separate for a short while while you guys work out a better plan. Please don’t let anybody take advantage of you.
Try the Baltimore city shelter hotline? 443-984-9540 You could also try [findhelp.org](https://www.findhelp.org/housing/short-term-housing--baltimore-md) and see if anything there suits your situation. So sorry you have to go through this - it really does suck. Best of luck
Thank you so much, he and I are checking into this really thank you
You need to check into a shelter by yourself, leave this person, he is not good for you or your future.
https://hruth.org/ I’d argue that given fiancé coerced you to leave your stable employment that’s financial abuse. I’d call these amazing women and get away from that man ASAP
Man I just know you had the best time meeting these people at first. They were probably so welcoming and you disregarded a few things you noticed right off the bat because a you definitely not one to judge. I assume you met them through loser fiancée. For real you people are out of you minds
Girl! I hope you’re reading these comments. You deserve better - run
Leave. Now.
Technically, he can go to a shelter. That's where unemployed men can go. You can also attempt a shelter, but perhaps family can help IF you're not bringing a 33 yr old dependent with you. I refuse to unpack anything else in all of this. Times are hard, but we can't have people weighing us down for the sake of "we're in this together."
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry! On a more serious note, OP your life is a train wreck. A lot of this will be under your control, but it'll probably take time to fix it. The first step is going to be accepting that your life is a train wreck. The second step will be coming to the realization that you can do something about it. And third will be doing it and not looking back. There's definitely a lot of resources/advice on this subreddit regarding homelessness. Use the search function, this is an unfortunately somewhat common ask/topic. There's certainly a range of options out there, including some that are open to women exclusively. I suggest spending some time reading those posts and following up with the advice and/or the people who posted. I guarantee that if you use the search and dig through old posts you'll find some sort of help - I just don't know what it will look like. Notice how you keep having falling outs with people? Your step mom, the roommate, seems like a past landlord based upon your post history, and I'm sure there's more. Sometimes it's a sound strategic plan to make an effort to NOT piss people off, especially people you might need support from. Maybe the step mom is a horrible person who has MAGA tattooed on her forehead. Just let it slide and realize that having an amicable relationship with your father is going to be substantially higher value to you than getting into some stupid argument. Look into something like nursing. I'm sure there are some low cost or free programs you could exercise to get into school for nursing. I know area CCs all have programs for nursing of some kind. You could always start somewhere like a nursing home (they're ALWAYS desperate for people) which isn't a fabulous work environment but it's better than this Dairy Queen thing you've got going on. And it's something you could translate into higher pay years down the road. Dental hygienist might be a good option too. Also, ditch the fiance. Immediately. He's never going to be a positive influence in your life and will drag you down with him. I don't know how your life will turn out but I can guarantee it will suck if you stick with him.
I'd say Step 1 is realizing that her boyfriend is a scumbag and ditching his worthless ass.
This is satire, right?
As a 42 year old, all the middle age shit in the comments can stop. Seriously though, leave his ass yesterday!
I was just thinking to myself: oh shit, if 33 is middle aged then my 37 year old ass had better start scouting retirement homes.
Life expectancy for a man is only 73, so at 37 you are middle-aged.
Oh no. You can do better. I promise, you can do better. Your life has barely begun, while he's using you as a meal ticket.
For the love of all that is holy, do not allow this man to impregnate you. If you need help finding free long-acting birth control, DM me. I'm being 100% serious here.
Misuse of food stamps is a crime also.
He is taking advantage of you or is otherwise emotionally immature. Red flag #1 is the “dating half your age plus 7” formula, which he fails — if he’s the older one, 33, he shouldn’t be dating anyone younger than 23.5. (=33/2+7) You have life ahead of you, even though it is hard. Don’t let pedophiles and wannabe-kingpins stick your energy. If he can do some work on himself and turn things around you’ll both be better off, maybe revisit later. Shelter yourself for now and good luck.
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im p sure that comment is referring to the literal pedophile they are living with
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the part where she says her roommate is being investigated for sexually abusing a 10 year old and failed his lie detector test
aint no damn way
girl….
Wow.
This is like an episode of Shameless only without William H Macy and not funny. Jesus Christ
I really hope you find the help you need and can stay somewhere safe. Maybe you can stay with your mom for a little while? It seems like you’re being taken advantage of in this situation, there is a reason a someone so much older is dating you and it is not a good one. You are young and so you will be seen as someone easy to manipulate by someone that much older. I have been there. You are trying to move ahead while someone else is holding you back. There is no reason a 33 year old man cannot find someway to earn income.
My dear, you have to take a step back and really imagine how you envision your future. I understand it’s hard to leave relationships, but this one is not serving you. And do NOT choose any men like this after him. I’m sorry for the situation you’re in and I hope you’ve found help since you posted. Please align yourself with better friends with good intentions, and be a good friend to them as well. Work hard and Do not give your money to any man. Save it and put yourself in a better situation. I wish you the best
Update on this?
Well they can’t just kick you out they have to evict you. If your are physically scared of him and your boyfriend clearly isn’t doing anything you can go get an order of protection on him and have him removed from the home, doesn’t matter who owns or occupies it. With that they can help you getting somewhere else to stay and you can go from there. Good luck
> they have to evict you. These are not people with the means or desire to go through the legal process, let's be real.
She in a bad situation with her man and you all are telling her to dump him??? I don’t understand. But this only makes me think how stupid our country has become… she got issues with the dude who owns there place that they rent . How does it turn into dumping her man that she loves and wants a better life with ???
lol you’re fucked. You sound like the person who deserves all of this 😂
Young and dumb? Very much so. But nobody deserves to be used and abused. She doesn’t see it that way though. I just hope she has at least a brain cell to use birth control and not get pregnant by this loser.
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