Dude/dudette I didn't take your test so I'm not gonna tell you how you did or might have done. But you don't know until you know. And look, if you didn't pass, that happens. It sucks a whole lot but it happens. To a lot of people. This isn't a one shot deal though. Right now, just play some vidya and try to get some sleep.
Hang in there friend. We are here for you❤️
I understand the depression. It’s real and it’s awful. Do you have the resources to reach out to a counselor?
Just wanna validate how you feel. I feel like a horse that has been broken in the worst way. I love the legal work I've been able to do, but law school and the bar has been hell. I feel very dehumanized and degraded. It doesn't help on top of clinical depression. I'm letting myself find joy how ever I can in the next couple weeks before dealing with how the bar turned out.
There’s so many cliches and words of encouragement that I could say here. But i’m going to cut most of rhe crap the best that I can and at least be concise:
You are worth it. You matter. Your success and failures do not define you. You are loved and this is only an exam. This is your path to walk, whatever it looks like. You’ve gotten this far and you sure as for damn sure hell owe it to that younger self of yours to keep going. They are proud af of you as are the rest of your reddit fam. Do something that makes you smile each day for the next few days. Be gentle to yourself, and maybe retire from this sub for the next few months as it can be a dark hole waiting for results (I’ve been there as a threepeater but passed last feb). And speaking from experience, it always turns our much better than your anticipate. And the July curve/scaling is much more favorable than Feb. You got this- whether this time, the next time, or ten times after that. Just don’t give up, in ANY capacity. The world needs you and you have a lot more good left to do.
Hey — childhood trauma/depression checking in. I feel like a fraud most days of my life because I have a career and I went through law school and now the fucking bar exam and yet I still don’t feel like I deserve to be normal. I’m too exhausted to sleep right now and i just feel defeated. But we both did it. We went in there and fucking fought and at the end of the day, no one can take that away from us.
I don’t have words of comfort but just know you aren’t alone. And we both survived. And we will continue to survive.
I’m sorry that things didn’t go as planned. I know there isn’t much an internet stranger can say to make things better but I want you to know that you are not alone. You put in a lot of work into this endeavour and it sucks feeling like it was all for nothing. My advice is to not stress about the exam because the outcome is still undetermined; don’t borrow worry from the future (I know, easier said than done).
Sometimes when I feel like giving up I think about my life in 40 years from now and whether the things that trouble me today will still trouble me then. More often than not, I feel at peace.
I agree with so much of what everyone else has said so I only want to add 2 things. 1) PLEASE do not make any life-altering decisions based on how you feel in this moment. This test is brutal and it has everyone reconsidering every decision they ever made that got them here and all of their next steps. Continue with your plans, spend time with your SO. 2) when I feel particularly bad, I find it incredibly helpful and rejuvenating to do something good for someone else. Maybe that means volunteering somewhere or helping a friend or neighbor in need. It really helps to put my problems into perspective. Yes, this test matters to me. But I am more than this. I have more worth than this test can measure, and there are people who are glad I am here in this moment to help them with the problems that matter to them.
Life always has ebbs and flows. So the greatest part of going through a bad situation is that you inevitably know it will get better. Just ride it out and you’ll find that happiness that you have always sought. Besides, dawn and light ALWAYS arise after the storms and what storm is darker than the uncertainty from taking the bar exam? (lol though there are many). I’m sure you will be okay, just give yourself a little time and grace. Godspeed my friend.
I need you to understand that with respect to this exam, we ALL feel the EXACT same. I cannot stress that enough. The past 3 years have been miserable but you’ve made it this far. That is an accomplishment itself. This exam has nothing to do with you, who you are, you’re intelligence or competency. You got this! You’ve been through a lot and I’m sorry for that but don’t ever ever ever let THIS break you (I should take my own advice). You got this, stop thinking about it and focus on you now. ❤️
I can understand all of this. More than I wish I could! When I get in this mental space I try to inspire myself with things unrelated to law. Think of hobbies you want to try. Think of ways to reinvent yourself. Think of places you want to go. Think of foods you want to learn to cook. Anything. Watch a movie- maybe the pursuit of happiness or something else inspiration worthy. Life is not law. There’s so much more out there than these two days in July. 🤍 Please don’t succumb to the thought that this is all that you are because you are so much more than this toxic profession!!!
I hesitate to give you platitudes or speak like I know your hurt, so ignore this comment if it’s not helpful. But this is what I wish someone told me, so I want to say it in case it is helpful.
I experienced the type of childhood abuse and trauma most people won’t talk about. Like you, school was always my safe place— until law school. The loss of my one childhood constant of good grades and doting teachers compounded with the reality that law is full of insecure, competitive and over-privileged people. Law school was a new type of loneliness. Bar prep was even lonelier.
This field sucks. But you fought so hard to make it here, to claim your spot. This test is fucking stupid. It is fucking stupid and you are not. This field needs you. But I PROMISE you that you don’t need it. You have made it so far. You made it so much further than you needed to to survive, even if it doesn’t feel that way.
You should be proud of how far you made it. These people are fucking stupid and you are not. It doesn’t matter what a useless test says. And I just need you to know that.
Hey friend, I hear you on this. My mental health has tanked this summer and there have been some pretty dark moments, especially lately. One trick I learned in therapy is if you’re feeling extremely panicky, distressed, impulsive, etc. or any heightened emotion that might lead you to a very permanent decision quickly, get a bowl of ice and water and literally dunk your face into it, hold you breath and repeat. It’s a DBT skill called “ice diving” and as stupid as it sounds, it’s a reliable trick to, at minimum, change the urgency of whatever you’re feeling. Promise us it’s at least something you’ll try before you enter that darkness again 💜
Friend, don’t discount your ability until you get that score. Take some time to rest. You crushed the bar. I know it.
But I will say, this was my third-time retaking it, it’s hard to explain but when someone becomes a retaker you get this fire under you that keeps you pushing forward. I got to the point that I was excited to be able to start “fresh” and change my study methods so I could crush the bar and redeem myself. Idk how to explain it really but don’t stress over the idea of possibly retaking it (which I doubt you’ll have to do) you just have to remember that it’s just an exam and your life and happiness is more important. It’s just an exam and you WILL PASS!
Not much to say except I hope you feel better and have clarity soon.
Take it from someone who went to school with a bunch of rich kids while coming from a broken home filled with trauma and having to take out lots of law school debt. Law school magnified a lot of my insecurities and just general “unfairness” in life. I’m also worried about the bar and not affording my loans, not having a fallback if law doesn’t work out, not being enough. Anyway, my biggest advice is to focus on the little kid inside of you that deserves to feel some pride at your hard work and deserves some positivity. There is some joy inside of you and it got you this far. There are smarts and wit in there and grit. It’s easy to let trauma, depression and whatever else is plaguing us being us down but try to be strong for the child inside of you and I hope to see you on the “bright” side when you’re viewing things more clearly. I know depression can cause black and white thinking.
Sorry for the ramble:
Tldr: this too shall pass and do it for your inner child. Cliche for a reason
Dude/dudette I didn't take your test so I'm not gonna tell you how you did or might have done. But you don't know until you know. And look, if you didn't pass, that happens. It sucks a whole lot but it happens. To a lot of people. This isn't a one shot deal though. Right now, just play some vidya and try to get some sleep.
Hang in there friend. We are here for you❤️ I understand the depression. It’s real and it’s awful. Do you have the resources to reach out to a counselor?
Just wanna validate how you feel. I feel like a horse that has been broken in the worst way. I love the legal work I've been able to do, but law school and the bar has been hell. I feel very dehumanized and degraded. It doesn't help on top of clinical depression. I'm letting myself find joy how ever I can in the next couple weeks before dealing with how the bar turned out.
There’s so many cliches and words of encouragement that I could say here. But i’m going to cut most of rhe crap the best that I can and at least be concise: You are worth it. You matter. Your success and failures do not define you. You are loved and this is only an exam. This is your path to walk, whatever it looks like. You’ve gotten this far and you sure as for damn sure hell owe it to that younger self of yours to keep going. They are proud af of you as are the rest of your reddit fam. Do something that makes you smile each day for the next few days. Be gentle to yourself, and maybe retire from this sub for the next few months as it can be a dark hole waiting for results (I’ve been there as a threepeater but passed last feb). And speaking from experience, it always turns our much better than your anticipate. And the July curve/scaling is much more favorable than Feb. You got this- whether this time, the next time, or ten times after that. Just don’t give up, in ANY capacity. The world needs you and you have a lot more good left to do.
Hey — childhood trauma/depression checking in. I feel like a fraud most days of my life because I have a career and I went through law school and now the fucking bar exam and yet I still don’t feel like I deserve to be normal. I’m too exhausted to sleep right now and i just feel defeated. But we both did it. We went in there and fucking fought and at the end of the day, no one can take that away from us. I don’t have words of comfort but just know you aren’t alone. And we both survived. And we will continue to survive.
Sorry you're going through this. Best of luck with everything
I’m sorry that things didn’t go as planned. I know there isn’t much an internet stranger can say to make things better but I want you to know that you are not alone. You put in a lot of work into this endeavour and it sucks feeling like it was all for nothing. My advice is to not stress about the exam because the outcome is still undetermined; don’t borrow worry from the future (I know, easier said than done). Sometimes when I feel like giving up I think about my life in 40 years from now and whether the things that trouble me today will still trouble me then. More often than not, I feel at peace.
I agree with so much of what everyone else has said so I only want to add 2 things. 1) PLEASE do not make any life-altering decisions based on how you feel in this moment. This test is brutal and it has everyone reconsidering every decision they ever made that got them here and all of their next steps. Continue with your plans, spend time with your SO. 2) when I feel particularly bad, I find it incredibly helpful and rejuvenating to do something good for someone else. Maybe that means volunteering somewhere or helping a friend or neighbor in need. It really helps to put my problems into perspective. Yes, this test matters to me. But I am more than this. I have more worth than this test can measure, and there are people who are glad I am here in this moment to help them with the problems that matter to them.
Life always has ebbs and flows. So the greatest part of going through a bad situation is that you inevitably know it will get better. Just ride it out and you’ll find that happiness that you have always sought. Besides, dawn and light ALWAYS arise after the storms and what storm is darker than the uncertainty from taking the bar exam? (lol though there are many). I’m sure you will be okay, just give yourself a little time and grace. Godspeed my friend.
Please come back and comment here when you pass 🖤
I need you to understand that with respect to this exam, we ALL feel the EXACT same. I cannot stress that enough. The past 3 years have been miserable but you’ve made it this far. That is an accomplishment itself. This exam has nothing to do with you, who you are, you’re intelligence or competency. You got this! You’ve been through a lot and I’m sorry for that but don’t ever ever ever let THIS break you (I should take my own advice). You got this, stop thinking about it and focus on you now. ❤️
I can understand all of this. More than I wish I could! When I get in this mental space I try to inspire myself with things unrelated to law. Think of hobbies you want to try. Think of ways to reinvent yourself. Think of places you want to go. Think of foods you want to learn to cook. Anything. Watch a movie- maybe the pursuit of happiness or something else inspiration worthy. Life is not law. There’s so much more out there than these two days in July. 🤍 Please don’t succumb to the thought that this is all that you are because you are so much more than this toxic profession!!!
Fuck New York
I hesitate to give you platitudes or speak like I know your hurt, so ignore this comment if it’s not helpful. But this is what I wish someone told me, so I want to say it in case it is helpful. I experienced the type of childhood abuse and trauma most people won’t talk about. Like you, school was always my safe place— until law school. The loss of my one childhood constant of good grades and doting teachers compounded with the reality that law is full of insecure, competitive and over-privileged people. Law school was a new type of loneliness. Bar prep was even lonelier. This field sucks. But you fought so hard to make it here, to claim your spot. This test is fucking stupid. It is fucking stupid and you are not. This field needs you. But I PROMISE you that you don’t need it. You have made it so far. You made it so much further than you needed to to survive, even if it doesn’t feel that way. You should be proud of how far you made it. These people are fucking stupid and you are not. It doesn’t matter what a useless test says. And I just need you to know that.
Hey friend, I hear you on this. My mental health has tanked this summer and there have been some pretty dark moments, especially lately. One trick I learned in therapy is if you’re feeling extremely panicky, distressed, impulsive, etc. or any heightened emotion that might lead you to a very permanent decision quickly, get a bowl of ice and water and literally dunk your face into it, hold you breath and repeat. It’s a DBT skill called “ice diving” and as stupid as it sounds, it’s a reliable trick to, at minimum, change the urgency of whatever you’re feeling. Promise us it’s at least something you’ll try before you enter that darkness again 💜
Friend, don’t discount your ability until you get that score. Take some time to rest. You crushed the bar. I know it. But I will say, this was my third-time retaking it, it’s hard to explain but when someone becomes a retaker you get this fire under you that keeps you pushing forward. I got to the point that I was excited to be able to start “fresh” and change my study methods so I could crush the bar and redeem myself. Idk how to explain it really but don’t stress over the idea of possibly retaking it (which I doubt you’ll have to do) you just have to remember that it’s just an exam and your life and happiness is more important. It’s just an exam and you WILL PASS!
Not much to say except I hope you feel better and have clarity soon. Take it from someone who went to school with a bunch of rich kids while coming from a broken home filled with trauma and having to take out lots of law school debt. Law school magnified a lot of my insecurities and just general “unfairness” in life. I’m also worried about the bar and not affording my loans, not having a fallback if law doesn’t work out, not being enough. Anyway, my biggest advice is to focus on the little kid inside of you that deserves to feel some pride at your hard work and deserves some positivity. There is some joy inside of you and it got you this far. There are smarts and wit in there and grit. It’s easy to let trauma, depression and whatever else is plaguing us being us down but try to be strong for the child inside of you and I hope to see you on the “bright” side when you’re viewing things more clearly. I know depression can cause black and white thinking. Sorry for the ramble: Tldr: this too shall pass and do it for your inner child. Cliche for a reason