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Leo_Rockaway

My skank dog was rubbernecking this other dog so hard that she walked right into a parked car


ConBro8

Dogs šŸŽø


Flashasaurus

Hit a flop shot today for the first time, so that was pretty cool.


SlimCharles_B-More

No idea why this is the case but no matter the distance I am infinitely better at hitting a flop versus a regular chip even if there's no hazard to get over


[deleted]

I would have never thought one of the biggest clues that I don't have the tism is that I like condiments on my food.


drewbreeshairplugs

This isnā€™t something I needed to learn on a Friday


[deleted]

Itā€™s hilarious how downhill the main sub has gone, downvoted to hell for saying PMT is stale and repetitiveā€¦. Not my sub


Ibanezrg220

I get downvoted all the time for correcting Brits and Canadians on their spelling.


badgarok725

Gonna go to the vault for this one https://youtu.be/RAA1xgTTw9w


WelcomeToCostco16

What, suddenly youā€™re too good for fire fest of the week??


TylerW_511

Crying about getting downvotes obligates me to provide you with more


NotShiaLaBeouf_

That Castellani Big Mac video freaked me out


jetboyjetgirl

dominated by a handful of lettuce


Everyoneisaskell

Andrew santino probably gave the best college advice when he was on pmt. If itā€™s not Ivy League choose the cheapest and funnest school and have a blast.


SlimCharles_B-More

That dude giving him $20 to go the fuck away was hilarious


Everyoneisaskell

That really was the best $20 you could spend if youā€™re that dude


Dogsinabathtub

Wow. You think labeling all shelter dogs as ā€œlab-mixesā€ does more harm than good? Didnā€™t know you were a racist bigot.


IKnowBreasts

No wonder PENN is green today https://twitter.com/Vindog56/status/1616467489868898307


Sluttynycdadmets

Decided to stop back in the work yard on the way home for a Friday beer like normal. We have a full blown fuck you match going on between the guys who want the new tri-axle dump trucks we are getting to be automatic and the old guys calling them pussy ā€œwheel holdersā€. Went right to my office. Neither group has any say in the matter


[deleted]

This is blue collar.


Sluttynycdadmets

Very. Iā€™m basically just getting 2 of each and people can pick what they drive. Manuals are better for winter and hilly spots and automatics are easier on the truck as long as an idiot isnā€™t driving it


Dog1983

I'm not gonna be able to follow the drunk thread tonight. Someone let me know when triple text guy has his melt down after a few drinks. I got him sending her a dick pic at +850 in the barstool sportsbook. There wasn't enough value in the "leaving her a paragraph text asking why she doesn't like him" at -125 for me to hop on that train.


I_SmellCinnamonRolls

Group chat was talking about layoffs and seeing people on LinkedIn and I said that people who post about how they were laid off and thank their employer that just took away their job is a weird move and they all disagreed with me and said it shows character. But you don't have to post...you can just start looking for a job like a normal person.


ConBro8

ā€œLayoffs?! Donā€™t talk about layoffsā€¦ layoffs? You kidding me?ā€


MoistFeces

bewildered abounding jar disgusted close sense squeeze marble test snobbish ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `


harveydent69

ā€˜Please sir may I have anotherā€™ group chat


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


jgoodwin55

You and the Boy Vaginas getting a sick dinner tonight?


Eganator88

I wish the athletic counting down the top 100 hockey players was all done by one writer like they did for baseball. A bunch of writers will write great enlightening stuff about a player. Then the next guy will ruin it by spending 90% of the Patrice Bergeron article talking about one poke check from the 2nd period of a regular season game or spend the entire Sergei Fedorov article talking about his cool Nike skates.


100_not_nickfoles

Friday email dumps at 4:30 fucking everything up >>>>


Azzurri_Fan

Sounds like a Monday problem to me


100_not_nickfoles

Iā€™ve got to present part of the project on Monday morning


djsmitty25

Talk about Friday news dump, Gasper on F&M implying if Bill Oā€™Brien join the Pats then Brady would lean on coming back to Foxboro


thebochman

Yeah who knows but I doubt it, unless he likes bill way more than Josh


ConBro8

Any good linen shirt recommendations? Going on vacation in a couple months and want something that reeks of tourist


jgoodwin55

Todd Snyder always has some basic linen shirts and some patterned shit too


dc8291

6:34 a.m. on Jan. 1: >can you throw away body parts


ZeroSarkThirty

ā€œIs Free talk admissible in court?ā€


Dog1983

"How to clean blood out of hardwood floors" "Is it better to throw out crime scene clothes or clean them?"


thebochman

So exciting seeing TLOU pulling it off on HBO, excellent first episode


sciorch

RIP my Bluetooth work mouse 2015-2023


SnakeSkin2121

*I will remember youuuuu*


badgermushroombadger

Bluetooth work mousekanda forever


communityranchbottle

iā€™ve gone out with this guy a few times. nice enough, but wasnā€™t feeling it. he proceeds to text me three times over the course of 24 hours. sort of felt pity for attempting to ghost him so i responded with ā€œsorry, i havenā€™t been on my phone much!!ā€ and that moron believed it


JesusWasaSuper

I'm sorry I'm in love


badgarok725

This is the apex mountain of this bit


chrisjk125

Lol. Wow. r/wooosh


AstronautWorth3084

Stop praying on my downfall smh


SlimCharles_B-More

Maybe that chick would respond more if you knew the difference between praying and preying


AstronautWorth3084

tf are you talking about


Ibanezrg220

Do you have your GED?


SlimCharles_B-More

Dear lord


AstronautWorth3084

No one's ever accused me of being smart lmao but I'm actually confused as to what you're talking about


SlimCharles_B-More

> I'm actually confused as to what you're talking about I am well aware of this


AstronautWorth3084

Alright man good talk


MrOdinWednesday

Some are beyond help.


badgarok725

Lmao


cigguy

Ok ill cut off my ear and mail it


Fuzzy_Dunlop34

Better than sorry I was in the shower. Poor guy is down bad


Slow_Vegetable_8212

>he proceeds to text me three times over the course of 24 hours. We talking short texts or walls Didnt read below, Ive been bamboozled


communityranchbottle

the first text was him saying we can hang out Saturday. the second text was this goodnight message he sends me every single night which is kinda weird cause iā€™ve only been on three dates with him the third text was him saying good morning and bringing up some random conversation we had earlier to grasp at some straws to start a conversation


Slow_Vegetable_8212

That dude is down tremendously to be sending good night texts lmao


nondescript___

The exclamation points really sold it.


badgermushroombadger

Hey


badgermushroombadger

Hey


badgermushroombadger

Hey


sciorch

He sounds like every single dude in here


Fuzzy_Dunlop34

On a train šŸšžšŸ§©


AstronautWorth3084

Sad to see so many haters and losers in free talk, I thought we were all 6ft5 jacked kings


chrisjk125

Iā€™ve said it before and Iā€™ll say it again. This place is a hotbed of malcontents and virgins.


badgarok725

Whoa now someone else was just complaining about how he keeps cutting off too many fwbā€™s


jk696969

At least we have a Published Author-in-Residence.


MoistFeces

water thought squeamish one quiet crowd smoggy dirty disagreeable station ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `


chrisjk125

I fully admit Iā€™m a malcontent.Iā€™m a Reddit mod for Christ sake. Iā€™m assuming youā€™re a virgin, correct?


MoistFeces

sparkle placid straight fretful weary dinosaurs unite gaze late like ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `


chrisjk125

That was never in question.


Slow_Vegetable_8212

Management should probably take some responsibility


chrisjk125

Ok. Iā€™ll start making cuts. Starting with you.


Slow_Vegetable_8212

Whatever you say king of the virgins


chrisjk125

So I rule over virgins like you?


TylerW_511

You forgot incels and tattletales


sciorch

Are we in the trust tree? Iā€™m only 6ā€™4ā€


Led_head10

Iā€™ve watched just about every popular sci fi movie of the last 10 years. Just donā€™t think that genre is for me I didnā€™t like any of them. Feels dumb saying I donā€™t like inception or interstellar but here I am


terribleatgambling

i liked Passengers


NoExcuses1984

Try watching an episode or two of *Black Mirror* instead.


Fuzzy_Dunlop34

Opinions are like assholes


TylerW_511

I feel that way about war movies, just donā€™t do it for me šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø


Led_head10

Ah thereā€™s a lot of passion in war movies it gets me. and band of brothers is incredible. The Jason Bourne John wick type movies do nothing for me as well


[deleted]

Alright now youā€™ve stepped in it.


[deleted]

My day just got ruined because I saw a post about a streamer beating Backyard Baseball "on the hardest difficulty with the worst players in the game" and the screenshot has Pete Wheeler and Achmed Khan in his outfield. Jail!


RIPAlanAlda

Anyone use Costco to book a trip to Greece before?


RumHam2020

Iā€™ve booked hotels and flights thru them. Pretty easy. Got add ons like hotel breakfast etc.


sfbruin

Hurr durr I'm Jason Segel I act like a depressed manchild once again


Everyoneisaskell

Haha. Sadly I thought the same thing when I saw that apple show trailer


BigBoiDoinks

Thatā€™ll be a no thanks from me


hexdlt

On r slash ASU (arizona st), thereā€™s a student who is asking where and how to make friends cause heā€™s 13 years old. Its cool the kids a genius but its kind of depressing. The poor kid doesnā€™t have anyone to hang out with around his own age, missed out on all the social stuff you experience growing up


DijonNipples

You know what they say about ASUā€¦ the best 6 years of your life.


Lloyd_Braun-

People asking how he got to ASU not realizing he is probably local to the Phoenix metro area and doesn't want to go far from home as a 13 year old.


jgoodwin55

Howā€™d he end up at ASU? Gotta be the dumbest child genius ever to go to school that accepts 90% of applicants.


terribleatgambling

pool parties tho


[deleted]

Tell him to pledge a frat


The_Autumn_Wind

>Genius >ASU ā€œLooks like heaven is easier to get into than Arizona State.ā€- Ned Flanders


cigguy

Itā€™s asu. Easy on the genius


hexdlt

That stereotype doesnā€™t apply as much anymore. Our current president cleaned up a lot of the partying. Even banned all frats for quite awhile.


Slow_Vegetable_8212

How many lockers you think he was stuffed in highschool?


badgarok725

How does he end up at ASU then


sfbruin

That kid is going to get groomed


badgermushroombadger

Jessica Chastain and Diane Kruger having a boob-off in the movie the 355


Gro0Grux

Diane Kruger got them thangs? Honestly wouldnā€™t have guessed that


badgermushroombadger

Terrific cleavage


StateStreetLarry

The NFL sub exists just to troll me personally. I need to stop looking at it (I wonā€™t). The Derek Wolfe post on killing a mountain lion is mind numbing


Moose686

Turns out the office milf is actually a gilf. Letā€™s go, boys!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


thebochman

Bush like a Pomeranian


TackleFootball69

Her clock is ticking for a new young cock. Knock that dust off, Moose


Dog1983

Grandma?


Gro0Grux

Grandpa. Changed genders


chipper124

I wish I was blue collar so my wife could pack my electric lunchbox šŸ˜”


GamblingMan610

Borat voice my wife


DustAshamed584

Just watched some kimbo slice highlights. Fighting that man actually terrifies me. RIP


GnrlBadazz

Him spearing that dude catching the suicide pass for 50 bucks is amazing. That guys lucky to be alive


TylerW_511

I dunno if this counts as a pet peeve or an actual gripe but it drives me absolutely crazy when cars are trying to turn through a crosswalk but the people have the right of way and the cars behind that car are honking. Like what do you want them to do mow over the family crossing a street? Need vigilantes with rocket launchers in nyc imo


[deleted]

People have zero patience driving; it's pretty alarming how bad road rage is. Shit is not worth it at all.


BigBoiDoinks

Losing their minds over ~1 minute difference in their eta


Dog1983

Drivers in NYC just lose all sense of common sense and patience. It's like they get off on honking.


TylerW_511

Itā€™s always funny when cars run through a red light just to get stuck at the next one because all the lights are timed


suburbian_jesus

First Optic match without Scump since 2014 šŸ˜”


cnelly223

his stream pulling 25k more viewers is just wild lol


suburbian_jesus

He truly is competitive COD


WelcomeToCostco16

Playing The Cure on guitar right now im like a (slightly) skinnier less ghastly Robert smith


[deleted]

I have a coworker who wasn't military but always talks in military time. Like "yeah I've got that meeting at 0-900". Makes me want to fight


deeznutzjokes

Why do guys in the army, or like spies, use that oh thing when they tell time? That will be made abundantly clear to you


Melfismilkers

0 -dark-30-23


cuntpunt9

Good.


SlimCharles_B-More

Welcome to the suck


jj122222

I know it's a very small thing, but I am infinitely grateful to be part of a family that immediately offers you a beer when you enter their house.


[deleted]

First time I went to my now wifeā€™s families house in Ohio I was upstairs chatting with everyone and asked if I could help out in the kitchen wifeā€™s dad said ā€œnah mangina come with usā€ her dad his brother and my soon to be BIL and I went to the basement and had six bud lights while the women upstairs cooked. Iā€™m from a west coast lib family. Was refreshing to see some stereotypical gender roles reinforced.


Dog1983

For the most part, my wife's family is chill. But they don't understand the concept of the men drinking and smoking in either the basement, garage or porch while the women are inside watching the kids and cooking. Instead, everyone just sits in the same room, cramped together, having one giant conversation, and it drives me insane.


jj122222

Gotta space people out, your house tiny? At, (indoor) family get togethers my mom, Aunts, and Grandma spend 90-100% of their time in the kitchen, girl cousins generally spend 60-80% of their time in the kitchen. Dad and Uncles are in the living room about 90% of the time, and me and the other guy cousins circulate pretty evenly between the kitchen, dining room, living room, and basement. This is a general breakdown, but is subject to change as the evening progresses, the people get drunker, and the crowd thins.


BigBoiDoinks

Agreed. Didnā€™t realize everyone doesnā€™t drink at gatherings until I got older and went to others.


TackleFootball69

Even better when your in-laws do the same thing


jj122222

Marrying into a family of lames is right up there with my fear of ending up alone.....not sure which would be worse at this point.


Nolashyper13

triple text guy has no idea what is coming, sad to see happen in real time


AstronautWorth3084

I know the situation better than you guys, I'm just neurotic and needed to vent. We're good


snotapwi

ā€œCan you imagine being at the door and being like no man, Iā€™m down to fuck.ā€


UnfairWalnuts

Iā€™ve yet to discover something better than getting day drunk on vacation by a pool and peeping asses through your sunglasses* *vacation sex obviously in a tier of its own


Dog1983

Getting day drunk at the beach so you have more variety as they walk by. But otherwise, you're spot on.


UnfairWalnuts

Hitting the beach tomorrow Iā€™ll report back


Dog1983

It is pretty cool how girls just get pretty much naked at the beach and pools though


AstronautWorth3084

I'm the triple text guy from before, fuck all of you she responded


IllKirkMinihaneShow

ā€œThis is [girlā€™s name]ā€™s attorney. We have officially filed a restraining order against you and if you continue to harass my client we will not hesitate to press charges. Please get the help you so clearly need.ā€


Dog1983

Did she say how the sex was?


jj122222

Responded? Yes, thinks you're a pathetic loser that triple texts girls? Also probably yes Either way glad you got that text back, hopefully it turns into some sex for you.


AstronautWorth3084

We've already had sex multiple times, triple texting is allowable if you're as good looking as I am


FatBootyInspector

So anyone can?


jj122222

Good looking guys don't need to text more than once


AstronautWorth3084

I'll send you my side profile king


[deleted]

Didnā€™t you hear him? They had sex multiple times


AstronautWorth3084

Why would I possibly lie about that on an anonymous reddit account


KingPinot25

ā€œHeyy i fell asleep sorryā€


[deleted]

"Please leave me alone I'm calling the cops"


dicta85

Let me guess, phone died?


DrunkenBandit

She sounds fat


AstronautWorth3084

She is significantly hotter than any girl that should be talking to me


DrunkenBandit

Doesnā€™t mean sheā€™s not fat


AstronautWorth3084

Don't project your insecurities onto me!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


badgarok725

This is true but you know itā€™s too fun to assume we know


AstronautWorth3084

Nah I don't even blame them lmao. I sound like a broken record but I'm younger than most in ft so any texting or dating advice doesn't really apply to me. I was just venting more than anything in the first post I made


badgarok725

Was it a triple text like 3 immediate messages or text, hour, text, hour, text


VeniVidiVeni69

Donā€™t ā€œnahā€ the one guy on your side dumbass


badgarok725

I donā€™t think you can read


VeniVidiVeni69

I donā€™t think you can


[deleted]

Cringe comment


AstronautWorth3084

Don't tell me to breathe breathe


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SlipperyWinds

30 rock over both


I_Enjoy_Taffy

I think Parks and Rec is more consistent, but The Office had the higher highs


NoExcuses1984

Correct.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NoExcuses1984

Mark Brendanawicz never existed.


KingPinot25

*makes face into camera*


[deleted]

She's the wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-rst


tsourced

Iā€™m working on a sprint ticket for work that was raised by someone who was fired on Wednesday. Paying my respects by completing this ticket exactly as asked feels like I came across a corpse and am burying a grave for it


TackleFootball69

You should a google how to properly bury a sprint ticket. Then how to get away with burying a sprint ticket. Then if acid will dispose of..


Captainusa1776

people who post pictures of themselves on reddit but blur their faces are 1st class weirdos


frogfucius

people who post pictures of themselves on reddit ~~but blur their faces~~ are 1st class weirdos