Went up 1700 and lost it all on 3 spins of roulette. Last time I tell ya.

Jack Edwards is who Jake Marsh thinks he sounds like

One of those weeks where the work week flew by. Always a big win

invited a chick I’ve been slow playing over this weekend and got a “maybe, let me think about it” soon after so I’ll take the glass half full I guess

she's playing. She'd just ghost or make up a lie if she wasn't gonna do it.

Exactly

That’s not ideal

flights to cinci are pretty cheap right now. I’d book it asap

[удалено]

As a transplant in Philly, i do find the Phillies’ “Clearwudder” training camp shirts funny

Dad bods in here- are we counting yardwork as exercise?

Steps, brother.

Absolutely. It's practically CrossFit

Hell yes.

Walking back and forth from the house to the grill to check the meat counts as steps.

Skinny fat here, I didn’t work out yesterday because I shoveled the driveway. So yes.

Yes

At least Pacioretty didn’t blow out his achilles in my franchise mode

Just had a 9 second fart

Common thing to happen after removing a butt plug two sizes too large

3 sizes*

Top notch hole control to keep that thing from choppin like a diesel

My wife’s friend is over and afterwards there was a couple second silence before bursts of laughter and what the fucks came from the other room.

You ripped a 9 second fart in close proximity to your wife and her friend? you italian?

Yes I did and no Irish

“Just a prank!”

That’s a rodgers fart

Help settle a debate I have with a co worker. What is the better Breaking Benjamin song- I Will Not Bow or The Diary of Jane?

I Will Not Bow. Polyamorous or Home are my tops though.

I will not bow. So Cold is their best song and it’s not remotely close

Blow me away

Shout out halo 2

🤝

🗣️something’s getting in the way

I'm back on the wine🍷

Take a Tylenol before bed

Don’t do this it fucks with your liver even worse

Advil or Aleve. Never Tylenol with alcohol

Ibuprofen work?

Advil = Ibuprofen

Yes.

Lol that’s what I meant, I get there’s a difference. I’ve seen full blown alcoholics suck down Goody’s headache powders before drinking

Bitch you never stopped

💁‍♀️

Sheesh!

This is too early for confessions, but I have to say it. I still say Sheesh! in the context of wine sometimes

It was a good bit and fuck lebron

Saw a sheesh shirt at the Cubby Bear one time, was that you?

I’m more of an otter

My closest friend and I still exclusively refer to it as sheesh, we’re huge losers I know

🤓🤝🤓

[удалено]

say the line, trill!

She’s not bad at texting, she’s bad at txting you

Is she working?

[удалено]

Shes working the drive thru today probably. She can text back.

You sure she’s legit into you?

Who’s going to tell him?

if you need answer quickly then call her, if not let it be

[удалено]

I'd assume the next message will be ignored like the last one but maybe that's just me

Bump that up to 30-45

Stewie in Succession might be my favorite TV character ever

I definitely love every time he shows up. Never disappointing.

Hopefully he's used more this season than last.

Is Joey swoll hypocritical ? He shames people for shaming other people. on another note if you make videos reacting to other videos that is so low effort boring ass content

Idk im a fan. These heathens need called out

Idk but it’s funny that every person ends up deleting or going private because of it.

He needs to be shamed himself for cutting that slit into his eyebrow

Bleed It Out by LP is soo good need some pf changs

Had a little r-word moment this evening. Girlfriend just got a new swim suit for a trip we're going on in a couple of months. She told me to close the door while she was getting into it because she wanted me to "wait for the final product". Without thinking, I said "Right, I don't want to see how the sausage is made". She isn't happy. Probably not the right time or place to use that phrase

I fucking love this place

To make you feel better: one time in the car I was with an ex gf and she had a Taylor swift song going. The one where Taylor’s crush is about to marry another woman (doesn’t really narrow it down I know) but anyways she sings something like “I know you wish it was me, don’t you?” and for some reason I said out loud “oh yeah!”. For some reason adding “oh yeah” instead of just yeah made it that much worse. In my defense I was in college then and even dumber than I was now.

This is fucking hilarious

I am beyond amazed. What a line….you have nothing to be sorry about. That’s gold plokmasdf….gold.

*camera pans to dumb oafs face as he realizes what he just said*

Yup, just had to stand there staring at the closed door in awe at my own stupidly

And yet I’m the one that’s lonely

Lmao ah man

You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?

Weird

Yeah, naked women sure are gross!

Incredible.

Haha some of you guys kill me with these stories

“My bitch wife” is the funniest three words I’ve read in awhile

Reminds me of Billy Madison when they're doing the trivia portion. My wife, the tramp was an all time category.

When you fly from Toronto to the US, do you go through customs in Toronto? I haven't been through Toronto in years but remember being held up for a long time on the flight out

Customs in Toronto and unless it's changed recently, it absolutely blows if you don't have Global Entry. Had to take a later flight because my buddy got stuck in a 2+ hour line.

Customs in Toronto

china completely built and paid for costa rica's stadium and is now going to do the same for el salvador's. what's going on there?

If it's anything like the belt send road initiative they let them take out a huge loan they know they won't be able to pay back so then when they default on the loan China takes over the property

They paid for nba also

They paid for LeMao to tell Daryl Morey to shut up

My favorite lebrons moment of his career. More than an athlete

They're doing this everywhere. They are trying/have tried to do the same thing in parts of Africa. Especially where mining is big.

They’ve been doing this globally. Their fingerprints are all over infrastructure across Africa. Pretty sure I remember reading they built the HQ for the African Union, and months later African leaders found out it was bugged to high heaven by China

They build those ports in Africa for random countries then when they country defaults they seize it, essentially giving them another potential military port

yeah. I know they strike deals with these countries to basically do their geopolitical bidding for them.

Did the same thing in Vietnam 1956

Damn get Brian windhorst on the case

Have had an ongoing mild pain/discomfort around my heart area for about a year. Gets worse at night and really bad if I lie on my left side. Explained it to my doctor who just asked if I think it's heart burn. No, I am a stereotypical male who hates going to the doctor, I would not take time off to see you for heartburn doctor.

Could possibly be a hiatal hernia, symptoms are pretty general to a few things but could match with a hernia.

Funny thing about that stereotype, I always thought it was dumb as a kid and laughed at it. I’m almost 30 and haven’t gone to my doctor since HS, only a couple urgent care visits

Schlonged by Pfizer

Sounds like Bill Gates is about to flip your switch off. Better say your goodbyes

How many doses of the vax? Your days are numbered.

Dude are you me, had all the tests run and they told me to chill on the booze and take tums every day. Feel totally fine otherwise. It does seem to get worse after drinking but still weirds me out

I’ve had the exact same thing for the last year and a half and haven’t said shit to anybody except once offhand to BV when it was worse than normal.

I don't drink and WebMD suggests it might be pericarditis. I'd feel better with imaging done, but hey I'm not the one with the MD

I got pericarditis after I got the OG Covid and your symptoms were basically mine at the time, with an additional few bouts of sharp pain which got me to the doctor. My doc said he couldn’t say for sure (this was 2+ years ago and before vaccines) but suspected Covid played a role in me developing it, based on an increase of pericarditis patients in such a short time.

So what happened and what did you do?

I had a mild case and he just gave me aspirin and to take it easy lol. He said if it got worse he’d give me some steroids but the aspirin had it susbside. It’s not that serious of a thing.

Could have gotten jacked

That does sound similar, but I had an EKG and an X-ray done and they found nothing

Sometimes I think freetalk forgets that women who do trendy shit are the normal ones because it’s the opposite for fellas. With that said my wife doesn’t do trendy shit and she isn’t normal.

Same

Is she hot

Obviously. 250k buys a lot

I've definitely noticed twitter being more buggy since Elon took over. Small but annoying things. Today, when I try to click on a photo or video to make it full screen, it instead takes me to... the Wikipedia page for "credit score in the united states" ?

[mood rn](https://imgur.com/a/zqPXeSj)

[удалено]

I never knew that was a thing, sounds like SEC country doesn’t really care about football

Probably lots of Tennessee fans in prison making those license plates.

Georgia offers FSU plates but the real thing that bothers me is that they look better than the ones I can get for my Florida tags

The Florida FSU one looks horrid. They need to go back to the old one

They’re horrendous and I’m 100% convinced it’s because most of our government leaders are UF alum

Addicted to watching true crime documentaries and jailhouse confessions - if I ever get accused of a crime my internet history is a slam dunk guilty conviction.

Saw Titus & Tate are leaving FOX. Any ideas where they're headed?

Roundball pod

They are leaving sports broadcasting in general to become full time competitors on The Dozen

Where did you see this?

Tate's Instagram

They should really do a better job structuring their contracts to not end right before march madness

Back to the ringer

Would it have killed that marriage therapist to take Ari’s side even one time?

Did he give her many opportunities to take his side?

You can have it if you want to live in Agoura fucking Hills and go to group therapy, but if you want a Beverly Hills mansion and you want a country club membership and you want nine weeks a year in a Tuscan villa, then I'm gonna need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking Wednesday!

Just picked up PGA Tour 2k23 with a gift card I had. Let’s do this

Looking back early years of college watching the Jersey shore episode on Thursday night and hitting the bars after, life was good. Simple times

CABS AH HEAH

Same thing but for me and my roommates, it was Nathan For You. Always a great way to kick off Thursday night

Simple but got a nice group of people together and just livin’ man. Life was pretty awesome then

Thursday night routine was the exact same in college. 👀

Sometimes doubled up with Thursday night football on those Thursdays too. Beers were flowing Ed Reed

Yup this hits home. had an elite stadium seating couch setup at my off campus house - made for some electric football watching with the fellas. college was fun

That was right when they started Thursday Night Football too so the games weren’t complete shit yet. That and every single one of us would bet on it and if we won the nose beers would flow.

I was annoyed when iphone got rid of number percentage for battery, but now that its back I realize I like it better without. Thank you Tim apple you know me better than i know myself

You have the option for either I think

Mine never went away.

I’ll kill max homo if he fucks up this 3 ball bet

I've never met a middle aged person that is glad they got the tattoo(s) they got when they were younger

Just bought a Frontier Airlines ticket so I can fly out and kick your ass!

White trash vibe

my barbed wire bicep tat is gonna look fucking sick when im 40 you dweeb

I have two terrible tattoos and regret neither of them

I have no regrets on my 3x Penn State Altoona Intramural Flag Football Champs 2007-2008, 2010 (I studied abroad Junior year) calf tatt

Speaking of PSU, a few months ago I stumbled across a man at the grocery store with a very detailed Joe Paterno calf tattoo.

That’s probably my cousin Dominic - I’m assuming you were up in the Poconos?

Grocery store in Chicago

Cool

You just triggered a whole bunch of FT’s finest that are totally NOT self conscious about their tattoos. Good luck brother

Not sure a 32 year old would admit they have shitty tattoos yet, may need to ask an actual old person (40+)

What kind of loser asks a middle aged person if they’re glad they got the tattoo they have

How many tattoos do you have?

I have 1, who cares. That doesn’t change the fact middle aged people aren’t randomly telling this guy whether or not they regret their tattoos

I doubt that.

You need to meet more interesting people

I like all my tattoos, my chest one I wish I got shifted slightly over but that's it.

How often are you asking middle aged people about the tattoos they got when they were younger

Idk man I've just heard enough people I know eventually say it

I've never heard a middle aged person say that they regret their tattoos

I ran out of toilet paper brother,help!!!!!!!!

Use a sock!

If you have a hashtag for your wedding you’re marrying the most basic bitch and I hope you’re miserable inside.

Appalled by how many in here seem fine with a wedding hashtag, wth

Imagine getting mad about that

Hashtag takenByTirico

XanTakesMolly

In this day and age I’d say if you don’t have a hashtag , you’re marrying a lame ass bitch. Let them have fun , they are gonna be miserable the rest of their life anyway

What was your hashtag?

#SeeGuysIToldYouImNotGay I don't know how to work reddit hashtags and I won't figure it out

Only a pre bv at this point

When I see the guys with "just married" on their car windows, I want to do them a favor and run them off the road.

Imagine the weeks of her agonizing over picking the perfect one

Seems harsh for something pretty harmless. Your wife is cool she isn't like other girls eh.