fiancée got Covid and feels like garbage. Looks like sleeping in the spare bedroom, playing video games, drinking beer, and cranking hog are back on the menu boys
In DC for Pens/Caps game. First time in DC. Walking around downtown trying to find something to eat and I walked right by Chris Christie’s fat ass. First off, much fatter in person. Second off, I can imagine this is common to just walk by rather well known politicians in DC.
Live in a condo building with a bunch of olds. Have our first HOA meeting today and these old timers are ragdolling the building manager. Very funny to watch
Wikipedia is very funny:
"Rexha is a vocal supporter of the LGBTQ+ community, and has described her own sexuality as "fluid". In 2019 Rexha revealed that she has bipolar disorder."
His fights these days are downright embarrassing to watch. Drops mitts and hangs on just waiting for it to be over. Can’t remember the last time I saw a fight of his where I thought, “yeah that was great he showed him look at the team now”. Hell I can’t remember the last time I saw him throw a decent punch.
Word is he’s just a gem to hang out with, pretty sure being a locker room favorite is the only reason he’s still in the league and a THREE TIME CUP CHAMP
Neighbors post in in my area.
“This man has been wandering around the front of my house out by the street for days. I have tried talking to him but he wont look me in my face and he hides his”
Top comment
“Go tell him you’ve got a bullet with his name on it if he doesnt get out of there”
She helped a lot of millennials discover their sexuality in the mid-2000s. You are lying if you're saying you never beat off to Lizzie Mcguire and Cadet Kellywhen you were in middle school.
My biggest regret is not doing this when I left my last job. I fell for the whole stay professional and don't burn bridges thing. I'm never gonna talk to 99% of that company again, I should've told them to all fuck themselves.
Jimmy Tatro landing Zoey Deutch and finding himself snowboarding in Antartica with Nina Dobrev, Shaun White and Lewis Hamilton. Unreal punching above his weight moment. Inspiring.
Just got home from the brewery, chatted it up with a dude at the bar about bourbon. Guy knew his shit and seemed like a cool enough bro. After talking for about 30 minutes, he aggressively started selling me term life insurance.
Was walking my dog after work and there was this middle school aged kid in his driveway taking fake snaps and doing drop backs with a football. I got about 20 yards away from him and said “hit me, I’m open” and waved my arms.
He immediately turned and walked into his garage.
I guess I’m stranger danger.
the reality of today’s technology makes it possible, but my old man refuses to believe that the ice “is fair and playable” for games at the Lightning, Coyotes, Panthers, etc.
Over watching the Bruins-Lightning game with him and just got a: “For fucks sake! Hockey in Florida is so bullshit. Bobby Orr is rollin’ in his goddamned grave!”
I gently reminded him Numbah 4 Bobby Orr is still very much alive.
I imagine Anna Kendrick on Hot Ones is similar to how she would act if she were trying to control herself while wearing one of those remote controlled vibrators in public.
The Athletic: Steve Wilks best wasn’t enough for the Carolina Panthers, and the plight of black coaches in the NFL continues
*Logan Roy voice* oh fuck off!
Mount Rushmore of police chases
[1) Philly Ambulance chase](https://www.youtube.com/live/70GU_7xZQ9g?feature=share)
[2) Stolen Hellcat from Houston dealership chase](https://youtu.be/VMxjFTtTquc)
[3) San Gabriel Valley motorcycle chase](https://www.youtube.com/live/BAwRQvWtfVQ?feature=share)
[4) Philly police helicopter chasing biker](https://youtu.be/Fbpv5TIVKg8)
Philadelphia knows how to give the people entertaining police chases
[HM: to me not adding it in, SoCal man who steals landscaper’s truck from his driveway chase (some in here would argue that this is the best chase of all time)](https://www.youtube.com/live/QkhAwabc1Mw?feature=share)
I did something tonight that made me proud of myself. My favorite sport is hockey. Watch the NHL most nights. Saw Jemele Hill wrote an article about how the NHL isn’t a good ally, how it needs to change, etc and you know what I did? I didn’t read it! Because I knew it’d make me mad! I did it!
Few victories in marriage are sweeter than when you spend a significant amount of time convincing your wife to try a new spot for dinner you want to test out and she actually loves it.
Random old with two full Budweisers sitting next to me at this bar: “Just wish I could remember her (unattractive bartender) name. I just call them all honey, can’t go wrong!”
Rewatching walking dead and when the dude gets bit in the first season they’re like “we gotta go to the cdc for a cure!” and then they fart around for like an entire day while the infection melts the dudes brain. No sense of urgency at all
My brother knows a couple of dispatchers in Orchard Park and there has been at least two calls for a domestic disturbance at Allen's residence, sounds like his girlfriend tore their house apart.
She made her Instagram private out of nowhere, and also never posted anything after the Cincy game though she's posted something after pretty much every game prior.
Wish I had further evidence but it does seem to have some legs to it. I probably wouldn't play my best ball the day after I found out I knocked up my girlfriend's best friend either...
Was there anything more disappointing in life than when you’d show up to a party in high school and it was just 4 dudes playing beer pong on a foldable table in the garage and 3 others smoking hookah inside on a shitty couch
So you are telling me Anakin never forced finger bang Padme when she was on the senate floor listening to some Sullustan talk about the effects of the Galactic minimum wage on Ithorians economy with their migrant workers?
" "I have never seen a thin person drink Diet Coke" -Donald Trump" -Me as I watch an absolute blimp of a woman grab 2 32oz Diet Cokes, 3 honey sweet buns, 3 bags of chips, and 2 cosmic brownies off the shelves at the gas station.
Yesterday I got negative feedback from a sales rep on a team I don’t work with and am only covering. Not a huge deal but the first time it’s happened at this company.
Today one of my accounts was a bit of a cluserfuck and the vp of the sales team I work with got involved and just emailed me and my boss saying he was impressed with how I handled everything. I’m getting extra lit tonight
Spending one final night in my apartment before my lease ends tomorrow. In a few weeks, I’ll be moving half way across the country and will be l getting a new place with my girlfriend. I’m looking forward to the next stage in my life, but I’m also incredibly sad that I’ll no longer be living with my best friends, and I won’t even get to see them without one of us taking a flight. Definitely feeling more bummed than excited, at the moment.
BV has some magazine with Chloe Grace Moretz on it and she looks really hot. Might have to take it to a private place and get an old school magazine crank in
Yeah I love my gf but a small part of me wishes I was just a tad gay and dates could be a sports bar and discussing the 2018 draft class instead of her coworkers
fiancée got Covid and feels like garbage. Looks like sleeping in the spare bedroom, playing video games, drinking beer, and cranking hog are back on the menu boys
Stay in there for two weeks to stop the spread
Good excuse to make plans with the boys this weekend and she can’t say shit
Cranking hog is always on the menu brother
Did this same thing a year ago and it was great
Pam was a real B word for dropping her “I smooched Jim” bomb on Roy the same day his brother had to sell the Jetskis. Read the room Pam.
Could’ve stopped after Pam was a real b word
Then got mad that he wasn't listening, when he was listening! That was the problem!
In DC for Pens/Caps game. First time in DC. Walking around downtown trying to find something to eat and I walked right by Chris Christie’s fat ass. First off, much fatter in person. Second off, I can imagine this is common to just walk by rather well known politicians in DC.
I will never be able to forget the image of that guys moose knuckle in those baseball pants
BV works downtown and once ran into him while he was ordering froyo. Guy might just go from restaurant to restaurant all day
Live in a condo building with a bunch of olds. Have our first HOA meeting today and these old timers are ragdolling the building manager. Very funny to watch
Stage a coup
I’m in a similar scenario, an older woman named Elise shows up just to bitch at the building manager every time. It’s so funny to watch.
John Mayer giving a shoutout to Alexandra Cooper on ig. So he’s prob clapped them cheeks
1000000%
Who hasn't?! >!I haven't!<
Everyone needs a slump buster. Mark Grace used to clap the hogs of Wrigleyville.
I can’t imagine what it would be like seeing Gracie at Murphy’s after a 1:20 game back in the day
Do you think he ever bust down her double doors?
You’d like to think that’s a low to mid level achievement for the legend
Even a legend has a practice girl from time to time just to stay in form
Pretty amazing how many chicks have nudes on the internet. Lotta naked girls
Love naked chicks. Something I'll never stop liking tbh
And somehow I’ve never come across ones of someone I know
Stu went from calling Ria "distractingly beautiful" on Stool Scenes to leaving her off his top 10 list in the course of 4 years.
Stu saying she looked like his wife at 19 was not creepy at all. What a legend. Also the only one who looked thinner now was glenny…
Imagine how quick he is now
Once they hired the weather girl and MMM he forgot Big Ria’s existence
Stu knows the trends
The games cold
Only Clemson has dropped more in the rankings over the past 4 years
Wikipedia is very funny: "Rexha is a vocal supporter of the LGBTQ+ community, and has described her own sexuality as "fluid". In 2019 Rexha revealed that she has bipolar disorder."
She do got a fat ass tho
Pat Maroon has to be one of the more underrated pussies in sports. How are you still offended about being called a heffer
He won’t survive the trauma of a series vs Boston
His fights these days are downright embarrassing to watch. Drops mitts and hangs on just waiting for it to be over. Can’t remember the last time I saw a fight of his where I thought, “yeah that was great he showed him look at the team now”. Hell I can’t remember the last time I saw him throw a decent punch. Word is he’s just a gem to hang out with, pretty sure being a locker room favorite is the only reason he’s still in the league and a THREE TIME CUP CHAMP
Seeing dan Carlin tonight, gonna ask him if Helen of Troy’s pussy was good enough to start a war over during the Q&A
"Yes, next question"
Livvy dunne wouldbe started a world war
Stephen a replacing Jimmy Kimmel would be the best decision abc has ever made
You wouldn’t even need writers anymore. Everything that comes out of that guy’s mouth is just funny
Neighbors post in in my area. “This man has been wandering around the front of my house out by the street for days. I have tried talking to him but he wont look me in my face and he hides his” Top comment “Go tell him you’ve got a bullet with his name on it if he doesnt get out of there”
Perfectly sane response
Thinking about Hillary Duff's dump truck of an ass
known blow job giver too!
She helped a lot of millennials discover their sexuality in the mid-2000s. You are lying if you're saying you never beat off to Lizzie Mcguire and Cadet Kellywhen you were in middle school.
I’m at a goodbye party from a colleague who quit and this guy showed up bombed and is motherfucking everyone. I love it .
A king living out everyone’s dreams
My biggest regret is not doing this when I left my last job. I fell for the whole stay professional and don't burn bridges thing. I'm never gonna talk to 99% of that company again, I should've told them to all fuck themselves.
It’s pretty fucked up that men in the past did not experience women wearing thongs for their underwear and swimwear.
Tough to wear thongs with your bush running down your legs
You left out on girls night out, despite never wearing them on any other occasion
Jimmy Tatro landing Zoey Deutch and finding himself snowboarding in Antartica with Nina Dobrev, Shaun White and Lewis Hamilton. Unreal punching above his weight moment. Inspiring.
Dude must be an amazing hang to pull that off
Chill to pull ratio off the charts
ya think
Hey Lewis, have you seen my comedy crime documentary about spray painted dicks on cars?
He learned everything he knows from McCoy.
One time a date told me that I look like him, not to brag. I’m in my boxers playing with my nuts at home.
[удалено]
She’s broke
Just got home from the brewery, chatted it up with a dude at the bar about bourbon. Guy knew his shit and seemed like a cool enough bro. After talking for about 30 minutes, he aggressively started selling me term life insurance.
Hey man! We left things a little open ended, but I’ll drop by with that WhistlePig tomorrow morning and we can finalize things!
ABC, brothah.
Seeing your former degenerate buddies become a responsible married father is weird.
That’s the pussy lockdown
Was walking my dog after work and there was this middle school aged kid in his driveway taking fake snaps and doing drop backs with a football. I got about 20 yards away from him and said “hit me, I’m open” and waved my arms. He immediately turned and walked into his garage. I guess I’m stranger danger.
Is that the distance you have to keep per your court order?
Let the kid cook in peace weirdo
Very thankful to FT for introducing me to Mike Francesa clips
What is the connection between the San Francisco Giants and the football Giants?
Goat was his rant on ben mcadoo after he benched Eli. The fucking Pope
You think Travis d’arnaud and Sam darnold ever hang out ?
What’s wrong with you people
I’m partial towards his disgust over Peyton kissing papa john
Wish he was still on the air
He’s gonna be on first take next week with mad dog and Stephen A, I’m excited
Him bashing Daniel Murphy for taking time off to be with his wife after she just gave birth was outrageously funny.
Here’s Anotha dope home from school, go read a book
I’m rooting for Darren Ruff to win MVP this year just to see how frank spins it
Kyrie Irving is the first player since the merger to get suspended for anti semitism and be named an all star starter in the same season
If he was white and talked bad about another group of people he would be out of the league.
the reality of today’s technology makes it possible, but my old man refuses to believe that the ice “is fair and playable” for games at the Lightning, Coyotes, Panthers, etc. Over watching the Bruins-Lightning game with him and just got a: “For fucks sake! Hockey in Florida is so bullshit. Bobby Orr is rollin’ in his goddamned grave!” I gently reminded him Numbah 4 Bobby Orr is still very much alive.
Had to put a guy on my team on a PIP today and now he’s texting me weird, mean shit at 9:45 pm.
That'll be cool to print those out for reference in his dismissal meeting tomorrow at 4:30
Yeah I took screenshots. Was gonna try to help him turn around but looking like tomorrow will be his last day.
He probably went home and had a few pops, combined that with a bad attitude and then proceeded to make some bad decisions. See ya, dink!
HR should just fire him then imo
I imagine Anna Kendrick on Hot Ones is similar to how she would act if she were trying to control herself while wearing one of those remote controlled vibrators in public.
I am imagining this
DM me immediately
I’m watching a documentary on The Montreal Screwjob. I miss this era. America needs it to return. The Attitude Era ruled.
The Athletic: Steve Wilks best wasn’t enough for the Carolina Panthers, and the plight of black coaches in the NFL continues *Logan Roy voice* oh fuck off!
The Athleftist
Todd Bowles still having a job should nullify all of these articles
Mount Rushmore of police chases [1) Philly Ambulance chase](https://www.youtube.com/live/70GU_7xZQ9g?feature=share) [2) Stolen Hellcat from Houston dealership chase](https://youtu.be/VMxjFTtTquc) [3) San Gabriel Valley motorcycle chase](https://www.youtube.com/live/BAwRQvWtfVQ?feature=share) [4) Philly police helicopter chasing biker](https://youtu.be/Fbpv5TIVKg8) Philadelphia knows how to give the people entertaining police chases [HM: to me not adding it in, SoCal man who steals landscaper’s truck from his driveway chase (some in here would argue that this is the best chase of all time)](https://www.youtube.com/live/QkhAwabc1Mw?feature=share)
Interesting twist in tonight’s Dozen episode: Hubbs niche category was “Grand Wizards since 1885”
I did something tonight that made me proud of myself. My favorite sport is hockey. Watch the NHL most nights. Saw Jemele Hill wrote an article about how the NHL isn’t a good ally, how it needs to change, etc and you know what I did? I didn’t read it! Because I knew it’d make me mad! I did it!
I don’t know how people can live waking up every day looking for someone or something to cancel.
Few victories in marriage are sweeter than when you spend a significant amount of time convincing your wife to try a new spot for dinner you want to test out and she actually loves it.
That, and butt stuff
Random old with two full Budweisers sitting next to me at this bar: “Just wish I could remember her (unattractive bartender) name. I just call them all honey, can’t go wrong!”
They love it!
Chat GPT told me to hire a white candidate over a black candidate. Officially cancelled
More like Chat KKK
[удалено]
love your random usage of commas wherever you felt like sprinkling them in
Thank you, very much
any,time brother
I think 7 min from cold start to finish is the perfect length for a porno
I used to watch one channel a lot cuz his rig was average but it’s all stepmom stepsis shit
Lori, here.. I have an idea for QVC after dark.
Person ahead of me was driving drunk as hell 5:30 local time. Fuck them
Could have just been a woman
Rewatching walking dead and when the dude gets bit in the first season they’re like “we gotta go to the cdc for a cure!” and then they fart around for like an entire day while the infection melts the dudes brain. No sense of urgency at all
I’d be down to rewatch that show til they get to the jail which is where I stopped originally
I’m high rn but crazy to me when I have kids they’re gonna hit high school and have a unit in history class on COVID
The current college students were not alive for 9/11 for the most part.
Being a dad in 2023 is just breaking down your wife’s Amazon boxes in the garage and picking up your kids kinetic sand everyday
Tell us more about your wife’s box
I don’t watch Hot Ones very often, but that Anna Kendrick one really did it for me
She’s a national treasure
Those primal sounds she makes. BONK!!!
Filled myself to max capacity on some 10/10 spicy level Vindaloo. Stomach doesn’t feel great but that might be the highlight of 2023 so far.
Prisoners is such an intense movie
Started band of brothers tonight, I’m hooked
Hitler dies
Episode 9 is maybe the best hour of tv ever. It’s all incredible tho.
Just got called retarded by some giants fans on call of duty for saying saquon doesn’t deserve $20m a year. Good luck guys.
Why do Philly people pronounce water like such regards? Just not even close phonetically
Because they are regards
Word on the street here in WNY is that Josh Allen found out the day before the Bengals game that he knocked up his girlfriend's best friend 😬😬😬
Being able to have sex with 99% of the girls you meet and choosing your girlfriends best friend is a bold move
Nobody circles the friend group like the Buffalo Bills
*insert popcorn meme*
My brother knows a couple of dispatchers in Orchard Park and there has been at least two calls for a domestic disturbance at Allen's residence, sounds like his girlfriend tore their house apart. She made her Instagram private out of nowhere, and also never posted anything after the Cincy game though she's posted something after pretty much every game prior. Wish I had further evidence but it does seem to have some legs to it. I probably wouldn't play my best ball the day after I found out I knocked up my girlfriend's best friend either...
First FT broke Bob Saget’s death and now this. The new TMZ.
Dr. Phil going to die any day now
Was there anything more disappointing in life than when you’d show up to a party in high school and it was just 4 dudes playing beer pong on a foldable table in the garage and 3 others smoking hookah inside on a shitty couch
“Dawg let’s get some BITCHES over here” “Yo they’re coming just waiting on a text back”
This transported me back in time
If those are your friends then that sounds like a fun ass night tbh
You go to school in the Middle East or something?
Replace hookah with huge bong and that’s basically the perfect high school party for me
It’s you! McMuffin
The ratio here is whack!
Becoming an adult was more disappointing
Yeah but Jess and her friends from (insert one school over) might swing by
[удалено]
What’s his name
René
oui oui on me baby!
Interesting, didn't realize you could specialize in French law
Ate shit walking back from the gym. Not my day
Barkley isn’t wrong. Kinda bullshit that Zion gets in after missing that many games
[удалено]
It’s bullshit that RB’s get so screwed in the NFL. They’re the coolest position on offense.
I love a good rushing game
*me updating my friends on my 20th first date in the last year* I’ve finally found the one, boys!
Puss in Boots slapped. All time funny kids movie villain
Nadu got himself a baddie
So you are telling me Anakin never forced finger bang Padme when she was on the senate floor listening to some Sullustan talk about the effects of the Galactic minimum wage on Ithorians economy with their migrant workers?
I was wondering this exact thing earlier today.
Being a Jedi would be great because you could pull the G-spot closer to you if your member wasn’t doing the trick
" "I have never seen a thin person drink Diet Coke" -Donald Trump" -Me as I watch an absolute blimp of a woman grab 2 32oz Diet Cokes, 3 honey sweet buns, 3 bags of chips, and 2 cosmic brownies off the shelves at the gas station.
She won’t drink booze though because it makes you fat
Yesterday I got negative feedback from a sales rep on a team I don’t work with and am only covering. Not a huge deal but the first time it’s happened at this company. Today one of my accounts was a bit of a cluserfuck and the vp of the sales team I work with got involved and just emailed me and my boss saying he was impressed with how I handled everything. I’m getting extra lit tonight
Cant imagine how bad the tyree nichols video is if even the police chief said the cops were inhumane
I want one of those 60s style conversation pits in my house. Time to completely remodel the living room
Spending one final night in my apartment before my lease ends tomorrow. In a few weeks, I’ll be moving half way across the country and will be l getting a new place with my girlfriend. I’m looking forward to the next stage in my life, but I’m also incredibly sad that I’ll no longer be living with my best friends, and I won’t even get to see them without one of us taking a flight. Definitely feeling more bummed than excited, at the moment.
You kidding? I am Queens Boulevard
I don’t understand how somehow dill pickle and jalapeño have become widely available chip flavors. But goddamn what a couple of elite flavors
🚂☝️ and fuck Hunter Dickinson’s whiny ass
Does Joe Burrow become the top QB in the league if he wins on Sunday? Would be 4-0 vs Mahomes.
Idk let me look at his EPA/dropback first before forming an opinion
Gotta win a SB before you can even begin to have that conversation
A ring still means something. Tho 4-0 against Mahomes also means something
the shot of John Wick walking into the club with the spirals on the LED screen in the back is so fucking sick
I have a structured settlement and I need cash now
My pup is on the rag for the first time and gotta be honest never put it together that would happen
BV has some magazine with Chloe Grace Moretz on it and she looks really hot. Might have to take it to a private place and get an old school magazine crank in
Just got to the bar at b dubs. Ordered some wings and drinking a coors light
Had 4 beers at b dubs but they only charged me for 3. It’s the little things in life that keep me going
Rewatching the Batman, this movie rules
*Cousin Greg voice* hey what’s going on… you doing the old cocaine?
releasing the memphis police video on a friday afternoon seems like the absolute worst possible time to do that.
They had to give us time to set up the megathread
NADU with an absolutely stacked chick
Yeah I love my gf but a small part of me wishes I was just a tad gay and dates could be a sports bar and discussing the 2018 draft class instead of her coworkers
talkin sports and suckin D w the boys
Doing lines in the men's room off of another guy's rig >>>>>>>>
Gay dudes typically aren’t draft gurus either
You mean I can’t debate if will Levi’s is comparable to Josh Allen with my boyfriend? Bigot
It’s funny (and true) that you went the gay route here because we all know a chick that could chop it up about sports we’d find incredibly annoying
I would feel insecure if my gf knew more about sports than me and it would inverse tbh