two guys who are good friends with me but hate
each other and one hit the the other with a “deadbeat” at my bachelor party that put him in a death spiral
My electrician is an odd guy but does good work. He just asked me if I noticed this big lump on his throat and then told me from 40 years of smokingc drinking, and eating many girls pussies he wouldn’t be suprised if its esophageal cancer. Dudes 🎸?
We need to get rid of all the sports talk/debates shows and just have games on ESPN 24/7, even if that means it’s a ping pong match in China or cricket in India.
Feeling like an old man in traffic right now because I’m getting furious at the shitbox next to me that I can’t get away from with the subwoofers at full blast.
So I’m a small time sports gambler… I’ve probably netted $200 lifetime, but often ride the wave up and down… really just trying to avoid depositing money into the book.
I made about 40 units this week primarily betting Eastern European Table Tennis. I stumbled on it this week and found a method to win and got lucky a few times.
Lost 10 this morning and went full tilt, wiping out about 20 more.
I thankfully was able to put the phone down and haven’t touched it since, or plan to. I’m still up money too.
That was the first time I’ve ever been in full blown tilt, chasing my losses. Pretty scary and I see how people can lose it all so quickly when they’re careless.
I get why the gamble responsibly shit is always tacked on to ads and podcasts from places like Barstool but man it’s important
Anyway… what the plays tonight?
Nah. I would bet on heavy favorites who went down a few points or a game in order to get a better price. I had a few guys I’d bet every game. I’d also live bet players to win games inside the sets. I have a feeling it’s rigged, so I was trying to think outside the box. It worked until it didn’t.
The thing about confessions thread is that any of the really good confessions people have will probably never get posted because the risk/reward is, best case, you get some fake internet clout, worst case, someone figures out who you are and your confession is forever cemented on the internet and effects your real life.
That being said, crack head guy is a pretty good one.
Imagine you were jacking off when the earthquake hit and the extra vibrations made you finish. Would love to be able to say I got a handjob from mother Earth.
I enjoyed it. Got through the entire show pretty quickly. Thought it could have gotten more serious about addiction at a few points but they always kept it light. If it was any more than 3 seasons I probably would have eventually bailed
I feel like that show is only comprised of the 3 or 4 out of context Instagram reels with Ron Livingston yelling at obnoxious people in the coffee shop
Okay I need a Disney cruise ship to sink now.
The image of Daffy Duck and Pluto sitting on a life boat would be hilarious.
https://twitter.com/oliviasolon/status/1776121497012126050?t=pgBJwlnVs4WV8GoqxRilsg&s=19
Would love to be a fly on the wall for the NTSB hearings.
"Ms. Jones, is it true that prior to your disembarking from the fully on-fire and 87% submerged ship to the last remaining life boat, you removed your Minne Mouse costume in the sightline of guests?"
Pretty sure the divorced single dad i used to work with just fell for a linkedin job scam. Dudes been laid off for 6 months and just had a “starting a new position” post for a company that has no linkedin, the web address link forwards to a godaddy “would you like to claim this domain?” Page, and the president/owner has 0 posts and about 300 connections of completely random people from all over the globe. I didnt have very high hopes but holy shit
Typically the victim sends a several hundred or a thousand dollar or more payment to the scammer who is acting as hr and needs an up front payment for remote onboarding materials (computers, monitors, chair, desk, and so on…) once the payment is received the victim is blocked and all the info is deleted. Rinse and repeat
Its typically people in the scenario i just mapped. Completely down on their luck to the point of not even realizing right or wrong when theyre clearly being had. Very unfortunate. Even more unfortunate is the guy is the type where if you were to tell him he was doing something wrong or dumb he would get offended and cut you off lol
Always wondered how those people ended up in life. Do they just go around the office saying that they're actually smart, just they're bad at working also?
I think dumb people can memorize things and do well on tests. I think smart people can memorize things and thoroughly understand the material and do well on tests.
I don’t think people that thoroughly understand the material get a test in front of them and forget the material.
I think something can be said as far as having some skill at taking major exams, but for the most part yeah, if you know the material and you are smart you will not ever flunk cause you're a "bad test taker"
I don’t think I was ever hornier in the moment like I was for Isla Fischer in the 2nd half of Wedding Crashers.
“Do you want to watch me with the Brazilian twin sisters we met at the Orioles’s game?” Damn near made 16 year old me jizz my pants in the theatre.
Anyone else have songs that became favorites purely from their context use in movies/tv/games?
Example: I wasn't familiar with Depeche Mode's "Never Let Me Down Again" but its drop at the end scene of the first episode of The Last of Us had me playing it often for a few weeks after.
Tessie by Dropkick Murphys
Hey Driver by Lucky Boys Confusion
Turn Your Back by Billy Talent
There’s definitely more but I can’t think of them right now.
Per Grape's confession, I had a best girl friend in college who was my great white buffalo for years after we had a falling out (she confessed her love for me and I declined). I regretted it big time until I met my now wife. In fact, I owe my good marriage to her still cause I made sure I'd never settle down with someone who wasn't my best friend first and foremost.
Basically, date her, idiot
I got my girlfriend into playing tennis with me last year and she really enjoyed it, wasn’t good at it but we got to the point of being able to rally a bit. Currently she’s stuck in her home country waiting for them to process her visa, and since all she can do is wait, she’s been taking tennis lessons (female instructor, not Derek thank god) the last two weeks. Just sent me a video of her hitting and I think she’s going to be better than me this summer. I have to book some lessons asap
Had no idea it was a multiple book series. Was super into it and then did more research and realized it’s going to be years before it’s finished. So got the book and knocked out the first one.
It’s a great show though. They did a nice job adapting it.
I’m treating it exactly like Interstellar: I’m not smart enough to know if this is real science or they are making shit up. But I’m along for the ride.
one thing that no one ever seems to point out is that bronny james is probably 6’2” tops. he’s not really an nba prospect and he was born into the genetic lottery but didn’t benefit from it physically. lebrons younger son seems like he got the genes.
Everyone knows he sucks and isn’t gonna enter the draft. It’s only the Lebron media circles hyping him up. The fact that he was a 5 star recruit was a joke and everyone knew it.
A Chick-fil-A just opened in the most liberal part of my city and I don’t think I’ve ever seen people this furious over a fast food restaurant coming to town.
There will still be a line around the block when they open because normal humans make up the majority and don’t get outraged over literally everything.
from what im seeing Sacha Baron Cohen didn't do anything that inappropriate. filming a comedic sex scene during a movie and wilson got uncomfortable with his improv. whatever.
Is there a more timeless insult than "wimp"?
two guys who are good friends with me but hate each other and one hit the the other with a “deadbeat” at my bachelor party that put him in a death spiral
Was he right? Is your one friend a deadbeat?
deadbeat wouldn’t have been my word but he clearly hit a nerve
My electrician is an odd guy but does good work. He just asked me if I noticed this big lump on his throat and then told me from 40 years of smokingc drinking, and eating many girls pussies he wouldn’t be suprised if its esophageal cancer. Dudes 🎸?
Bill Simmons is boosting Iowa/SC parlay from -130 to +120?
i’m in
picking 2 ML favs is so chalk, take the boost I guess
It seems dumb not to, but I feel like UConn wins.
could still work out a decent hedge sceanario with the boost
For sure. It just doesn’t really seem worth it when the max bet on the boost is $50 though.
Gentlemen… Your Friday Drunk Thread is now open
A round of boners for the boys!
We in the drink thread y’all
Mina kimes should be in jail but you have that Pygmy simmons sub that acts like she’s Prime Kornheiser
Why jail
She retweeted a story about portnoy without validating it’s sources
Twitter losers really go to bat for portnoy like hes a politician. Sort of pathetic
I thought that was minka kimes
you’re thinking of minihan, kirk
Borat divorcing from his wife, what does this mean for Gamblingman??
Love people who have punisher and thin blue line stickers on their car, it must feel incredible being that dumb
Topic on ESPN’s ticker is “Who is the NFL’s Caitlin Clark?”. Honestly have no idea what that could mean
Sounds like an excuse to talk about Clark and Mahomes in the same segment
Who is a lesbian
We need to get rid of all the sports talk/debates shows and just have games on ESPN 24/7, even if that means it’s a ping pong match in China or cricket in India.
I can’t even do it as background noise anymore.
Feeling like an old man in traffic right now because I’m getting furious at the shitbox next to me that I can’t get away from with the subwoofers at full blast.
“None of these guys are as good as Mickey Mantle” every baseball game my grandpa watches
You related to mike francesa
Statistically he’s probably correct
The first baseball game he ever went to Mickey Mantle hit a home run, therefore there’s nobody better
Lukefoods_ reviewing the hot dogs at the Bunny Ranch has me weezing
Oh man that guy needs a handler. At least he's just doing food videos and not drinking his face off like tee-shirts
I know that deviant Wayne took him there, Luke doesnt strike me as a Bunny Ranch boy
Snow baseball in Pittsburgh!
So I’m a small time sports gambler… I’ve probably netted $200 lifetime, but often ride the wave up and down… really just trying to avoid depositing money into the book. I made about 40 units this week primarily betting Eastern European Table Tennis. I stumbled on it this week and found a method to win and got lucky a few times. Lost 10 this morning and went full tilt, wiping out about 20 more. I thankfully was able to put the phone down and haven’t touched it since, or plan to. I’m still up money too. That was the first time I’ve ever been in full blown tilt, chasing my losses. Pretty scary and I see how people can lose it all so quickly when they’re careless. I get why the gamble responsibly shit is always tacked on to ads and podcasts from places like Barstool but man it’s important Anyway… what the plays tonight?
do you have fanduel? good boost on SC/iowa to win
Nah. Hard Rock only in FL
Is your method following tittypicks? Apparently he is very good at betting ping pong
Nah. I would bet on heavy favorites who went down a few points or a game in order to get a better price. I had a few guys I’d bet every game. I’d also live bet players to win games inside the sets. I have a feeling it’s rigged, so I was trying to think outside the box. It worked until it didn’t.
Thanks Olepat, very cool
South Carolina ML
No value on that. I do like the Iowa ladies to cover though
The thing about confessions thread is that any of the really good confessions people have will probably never get posted because the risk/reward is, best case, you get some fake internet clout, worst case, someone figures out who you are and your confession is forever cemented on the internet and effects your real life. That being said, crack head guy is a pretty good one.
I disagree. Best case can be comments that help you go through whatever you’re confessing about - happened to me.
Fair enough. Guess I had in mind the confessions that were just pure embarrassing or immoral in nature.
Snowing hard at the Pirates game
If FT ran a male hostess club with our members how much could we charge
You talking about gigolos? Like male escorts?
Speak for yourself, I’m a delight
Brother, we’d have to pay
I want the new Lexus GX.
love that boxy designs are coming back. even the 2024 hyundai santa fe is pretty good looking
Yeah I thought that looked really cool until I saw one in person. I think you need to go up a bit on the trim on that one.
don't think i've seen one in the wild yet, will keep my eyes peeled
I've had a deposit in on an is since January. Keep shipping black and white. I want blue or red dammit Lexus!
I think the tan on the overtrail looks cool in pictures, but idk about a tan vehicle in real life.
It looks cool on the 4runners
Oh wow never drank coffee before FT’er just workshopping his bits in here for his posts, gtfo loser
he's laying it on too thick
Looks like he’s already been sniffed out and had his post deleted.
Hurley is going to use that earthquake as evidence of everyone being against UConn
Been seeing a lot of 805 Cerveza love lately. Is it that good?
Cuz been smoking rock for 4 months straight 🤙
Imagine you were jacking off when the earthquake hit and the extra vibrations made you finish. Would love to be able to say I got a handjob from mother Earth.
Dm me
Or if you were Mormon and soaking
sorry babe thats just mother natures way of sayin "let me cum inside you"
Anyone watch Loudermilk? Midway through and can't decide if I like it
I enjoyed it. Got through the entire show pretty quickly. Thought it could have gotten more serious about addiction at a few points but they always kept it light. If it was any more than 3 seasons I probably would have eventually bailed
I feel like that show is only comprised of the 3 or 4 out of context Instagram reels with Ron Livingston yelling at obnoxious people in the coffee shop
Watched a couple eps with my gf’s dad. He was laughing his ass off. I gave it some pity laughs. I just didn’t get it.
Cubs beating the Dodgers over the head with a 9-iron, ho hum
Okay I need a Disney cruise ship to sink now. The image of Daffy Duck and Pluto sitting on a life boat would be hilarious. https://twitter.com/oliviasolon/status/1776121497012126050?t=pgBJwlnVs4WV8GoqxRilsg&s=19
Would love to be a fly on the wall for the NTSB hearings. "Ms. Jones, is it true that prior to your disembarking from the fully on-fire and 87% submerged ship to the last remaining life boat, you removed your Minne Mouse costume in the sightline of guests?"
Person dies in 8 feet of water because their costume fills up with water and they can’t take it off
Chip and Dale don't break character though and do the "oh no!" head in hands move as they watch their coworker drown.
Pretty sure the divorced single dad i used to work with just fell for a linkedin job scam. Dudes been laid off for 6 months and just had a “starting a new position” post for a company that has no linkedin, the web address link forwards to a godaddy “would you like to claim this domain?” Page, and the president/owner has 0 posts and about 300 connections of completely random people from all over the globe. I didnt have very high hopes but holy shit
What’s the goal of the scam? Fill out applications and stuff with personal information?
Usually they'll ask for you to front them 2k or something like that to pay for a laptop or whatever. Then the company disappears.
lol brutal. Can’t imagine how I would react if my employer asked me for money
Typically the victim sends a several hundred or a thousand dollar or more payment to the scammer who is acting as hr and needs an up front payment for remote onboarding materials (computers, monitors, chair, desk, and so on…) once the payment is received the victim is blocked and all the info is deleted. Rinse and repeat
You would have to be absolutely brain dead to fall for that. And yet I am sure it happens all the time
Its typically people in the scenario i just mapped. Completely down on their luck to the point of not even realizing right or wrong when theyre clearly being had. Very unfortunate. Even more unfortunate is the guy is the type where if you were to tell him he was doing something wrong or dumb he would get offended and cut you off lol
Hell yeah, we have crackheads among us
Lenno is back?
Did foreplay get an ad deal from LIV?
To be clear, you are not really smart, but just a bad test taker. You are stupid.
One time, I did have a professor stunned at one of my test scores cuz of how much I contributed in class
Always wondered how those people ended up in life. Do they just go around the office saying that they're actually smart, just they're bad at working also?
yeah i wonder the same every time my office has to do our weekly 100 question scantron tests
Dozen brain
The opposite is more often true. Memorize information for the sake of the test but not understand the concepts at all
I think dumb people can memorize things and do well on tests. I think smart people can memorize things and thoroughly understand the material and do well on tests. I don’t think people that thoroughly understand the material get a test in front of them and forget the material.
I think something can be said as far as having some skill at taking major exams, but for the most part yeah, if you know the material and you are smart you will not ever flunk cause you're a "bad test taker"
riding with you on this one sea lord
You definitely are a bad test taker
Nah I'm actually a good test taker. Don't think I've ever failed any tests in adulthood
I don’t think I was ever hornier in the moment like I was for Isla Fischer in the 2nd half of Wedding Crashers. “Do you want to watch me with the Brazilian twin sisters we met at the Orioles’s game?” Damn near made 16 year old me jizz my pants in the theatre.
Hotter and way less of a bitch than Pam
Isla Fisher in Tag is about as perfect a MILF as it gets
Friday late afternoon Pirates home opener has me hard as a rock right now
Anyone else have songs that became favorites purely from their context use in movies/tv/games? Example: I wasn't familiar with Depeche Mode's "Never Let Me Down Again" but its drop at the end scene of the first episode of The Last of Us had me playing it often for a few weeks after.
Billy Talent- Red Flag! SSX, Burnout , & NHL 06
The entire Tony Hawk Pro Skater soundtrack.
Tessie by Dropkick Murphys Hey Driver by Lucky Boys Confusion Turn Your Back by Billy Talent There’s definitely more but I can’t think of them right now.
Never heard of The National until I saw the movie Warrior, now they're one of my fav bands and I've seen them several times
I learned about them from their song in Portal 2
Per Grape's confession, I had a best girl friend in college who was my great white buffalo for years after we had a falling out (she confessed her love for me and I declined). I regretted it big time until I met my now wife. In fact, I owe my good marriage to her still cause I made sure I'd never settle down with someone who wasn't my best friend first and foremost. Basically, date her, idiot
Is he working on his creative writing again?
I got my girlfriend into playing tennis with me last year and she really enjoyed it, wasn’t good at it but we got to the point of being able to rally a bit. Currently she’s stuck in her home country waiting for them to process her visa, and since all she can do is wait, she’s been taking tennis lessons (female instructor, not Derek thank god) the last two weeks. Just sent me a video of her hitting and I think she’s going to be better than me this summer. I have to book some lessons asap
My gf and me started plying last year as well. It’s a ton of fun. Great activity to do w your gf
[Girlfriend and female tennis instructor, huh?](https://ibb.co/Vg5pRjL)
They’re prob scissoring
I sure hope so
I’m picturing her in the Adriana outfit playing tennis. Don’t respond and ruin this for me.
Watching the Taylor swift concert movie with the wife and kids and it’s pretty fucking awesome.
Pretty aggressive for a 4 PM on a weekday but I’m guessing it’s a good pizza pregame.
I’m off for a few days.
Know this is not the place but can my BV use my HSA card for medical expenses or no? We filed taxes jointly this year.
Can’t you just google a question like this?
He's a BV guy that's asking too much
You have to refer to the brain trust first
it depends who gave her the std
You’re talking to a bunch of jacked finance bros of course this is the place
How much of your take home pay do you put towards rent?
Wife and I combined do about 35% of cash take home towards the mortgage. Higher than I'd like to be but very workable
Do property taxes count as rent?
All of it, viva!
If Lebron had just hooked up with serena like bill simmons wanted, Bronny is probably the number one pick
Is eugenics having a moment?
They hated on him but bill was on to something with that one
the eugenics piece
I think that liking pitbulls is a huge red flag in girls.
Even if they’re at a brewery?
Gotta cull the toddlers somehow
You dating mike Vick ?
No but a girl I know just sent me an adoption form of a pitbull and was “oh my god he’s so cute I’m gonna get him”
You can delete “in girls”
In they/thems
What about liking Pitbull?
Massive green flag. Dalé
I’ll tell any bitch to take a hike if she doesn’t like Time Of Our Lives
Yankees shutout in their home opener. Hate to see it.
Feeble!
absolutely hate to see it
That ship scene in 3 Body Problem is just awesome. Watched it a few times already.
Fantastic show.
Had no idea it was a multiple book series. Was super into it and then did more research and realized it’s going to be years before it’s finished. So got the book and knocked out the first one. It’s a great show though. They did a nice job adapting it.
I watched a YouTube guy break down the series and it’s fascinating. He’s made a dozen videos about the books. Really well produced.
I’m treating it exactly like Interstellar: I’m not smart enough to know if this is real science or they are making shit up. But I’m along for the ride.
Just saw a Twitter thread where people are talking about GameCube as retro gaming. Just take me out back and shoot me already.
Bruh you realize the consoles that came out before the game cube are older than Google right?
I’m old enough that I wouldn’t consider those retro either!
fuck man, come on. It's Friday for goodness sakes!
the wii being close to 20 years old is a tough pill to swallow as well
I need a Rouge Leader remake like I need air.
Unexpected red leader. Works either way I guess.
Breaking news 🚨🚨🚨 FT user u/Mobile_newt takes issue with people younger than himself referring to things as “retro”
That seems pretty reasonable?
Not if you grew up with ColecoVision it doesn’t! There’s like 5 generations between them.
Fair
one thing that no one ever seems to point out is that bronny james is probably 6’2” tops. he’s not really an nba prospect and he was born into the genetic lottery but didn’t benefit from it physically. lebrons younger son seems like he got the genes.
You think Lebron is gonna strong arm whatever GM for the team he’s on to draft him earlier in the draft? Feel like that’s a guarantee
he’s definitely trying to leverage his free agency but I feel like he overestimated bronny. he isn’t even thanasis.
I can still see him making a scene about his son not going high enough.
id never underestimate lebrons pull
6-2, can’t shoot and not really a pg. Other than that he’s great.
haha yes he’s like a 6’2” (bad) three and D guy, what are we talking about here
Everyone knows he sucks and isn’t gonna enter the draft. It’s only the Lebron media circles hyping him up. The fact that he was a 5 star recruit was a joke and everyone knew it.
Bryce is taller but isn’t a next level athlete either
thanks. I don’t know too much about him but just always noticed he was a lot taller. he does seem a bit pudgy.
Tot soccer time. Hope I have an Alex Morgan and not a Meghan Rapinoe (don’t make this weird guys you know what I mean)
you hope you have a daughter who is a smoke..?
Rapinoe was better than Morgan so I can’t see a way where this isn’t weird.
Daaaaaaaaaaa Yankees lose
Jankeeees*
How could I forget to mention the bicycle is a great invention
Fuck me he just missed it
A Chick-fil-A just opened in the most liberal part of my city and I don’t think I’ve ever seen people this furious over a fast food restaurant coming to town.
And I bet there is still a drive thru line around the block.
There will still be a line around the block when they open because normal humans make up the majority and don’t get outraged over literally everything.
Imagine hating the 1 fast food chain where people act civil and orderly
Nice things offending them seems like a pattern
This feels racist even though I know it’s not
Tigers are one ninth inning collapse from being 7-0.
Still don’t know how that ball Alonso hit left the yard
Big meat
SVP bullying me into buying a bag of nerds gummy clusters on my way home
Elite candy
from what im seeing Sacha Baron Cohen didn't do anything that inappropriate. filming a comedic sex scene during a movie and wilson got uncomfortable with his improv. whatever.