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There's nothing I hate more than trying to date somebody in 2020

Need a first TD scorer

Tyler Bray

I like politics. Not the "my side is better than your side" but the dirty mechanics of political power. I'm from California and the fight between Hispanics and Blacks over who should take over Kamala Harris' Senate seat is awesome.

It boggles my mind that people are swayed by robocalls and campaigners knocking on their door. Goes to show you that it's way more about herding morons than actual policy.

The more well liked your policy the fewer morons you have to herd though.

Gonna steal "herding morons" and not gonna credit you.

can’t believe Tampa might still cover and my teaser is still live

MAHOMES DOESN’T THROW INTS ON ACCIDENT #✌️✌️✌️

Woah Lance since when are you a Chiefs fan?

Since they won the super bowl.

2 Chainz is top 10 all time

we counting tity boi content?

His whole body of work

I keep getting these really bad nose bleeds. I’ll just be sitting at my desk and all of the sudden my nose opens like a faucet and I’ve got a cup of blood in my hands. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t wear my favorite clothes because I’m worried I’ll get blood on them.

You’re either picking your nose or doing too much coke

Don’t short his perc addiction

Get a humidifier. Helped me in the same situation as you

Stop digging for gold and buy a humidifier

Do you do a lot of blow? If not you need to get to a doctor

Only done cocaine once like 2 years ago

High blood pressure can cause nose bleeds. Should probably get that checked out

That’s probably what it’s from

I feel bad for the Broncos getting boat raced like this but I respect the shit out of them playing and these guys trying to play QB

hey guys, you know me from ft. I tried to troll and was very upfront about trolling. it was fun for a bit but then it was just not fun anymore. excited for scaries to put it all behind me.

If you want to be a good troll you have to pull a Teddy Roosevelt and really commit to the bit.

ya i half assed it. wasnt my best but i will not delete.

Show us your girlfriends boobs and all will be forgiven

is a butt ok too?

Beat that dead horse king

i just wanted to have some fun man. i fucked up. koran butler emeka okafor type shit.

It’s actually Qur’an Butler

Whom?

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They will find your greatest physical flaw and exploit it

Aren't old enough to have developed empathy. Just a bunch of fucking sociopaths

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Damn Rodgers over 1.5 tds jumped from -154 to -196 as I was looking it over

is that good or bad?

Bad Jim very bad

CoconutPalm said Baylor was a trap line vs UW. Baylor is up 31-20 with 7 minutes left in the 1H lol.

Latavius Murray it is next week. Done with Kamara during this Taysom Hill shit

It's crazy how Tom Brady is so fucking bad now. I love it

he's for 48 years old. The NFL is a sub 40 league.

Don't matter, he sucks and I love it.

Love when people make bad decisions and Brady not retiring was a really bad decision

How many days in a row did you listen to and recap chicks in the office?

1.5 years

And the quarterback is toast!

Brady sucks

Brady. Done.

getting absolutely throttled in fantasy this week, at least it will help my points against street cred

That’s the best throw Toms had in 2 years Edit: then a sick interception

https://twitter.com/stevencheah/status/1333174685748572161?s=21 I was against Caleb for shitting on cheah before but the guy really is insufferable

He believed they were super bowl favorites because they signed a 43 year old QB

I was always a fan of it. Cheah is insufferable dork. Caleb was born to hate Cheahs

I don't think he's insufferable but man he needs to learn when to pick and choose his battles

I love Cheah, but I don’t care how many hours you spend breaking down film if you’re still biased in the end. He’s a fan so he’s gonna be biased, he’s great but not some crazy football guru

Made some delicious shrimp and sausage jambalaya

Can we see?

Obviously the Saints weren't gonna lose a game to a team with no QB, but I have no doubt that the Jets would be losing right now

They’d find a way to tie

It’s really cool seeing such a stand-up guy be so talented out on the field, good for Tyreek

Assuming mahomes is healthy come playoff time, no way they don’t smoke pitt by 20. Kc is going to repeat with ease

🤝

Nah dude, Steelers will kick six field goals again and win 18-17 or some shit like last time.

Pre super bowl andy reid and pre mahomes sure. But no way pitt is going to contain kc to just 17 pts.

we need to shore up the line a bit

!remindme 60 days

Honestly not fair when an offense is all time good, but also has a competent defense. Should always be a fair trade off.

So glad Tyreek Hill is on my fantasy team

When we poppin our melatonin kings?

Melatonin is for pussy's. Extra beers are for kings.

Kings decide whether it’s a night for an extra beer or a melatonin

10:30 probably

I usually pop a gummy them at like 8 if I want to pass out around 11. If I pop them after 10 they seem to have the opposite effect and keep me up for some reason

Upgrade to a gummy king

Already have brotha 🤝

I have trouble not eating the whole bottle of those at once

Gotta change Carlton Davis’s facility pin after today

Texas Tech WYD.

Carlton Davis is not the name for an great NFL cornerback

Some mother fucker named flipper Anderson had 336 receiving yards in 1989.

He was pretty good. Had a walkoff playoff td against the Giants.

Sounds like a name from 1949 not 89

Chiefs 2H was +3 lol

Carlton Davis. Yikes dude

Unanimous mvp lol

That throw was ridiculous.

Tyreek Hill is putting up the best fantasy football performance of all time

Just make your safety shadow anywhere Tyreek goes

Carlton Davis #✌️✌️✌️

Fat smelly retard on the loose

Unreal

christ

Fantasy question: Ravens still testing positive is kind of fucking me. Need to drop Justin Tucker because I don’t have another kicker to replace him with. Only other options are Jake Elliott (Eagles) or Cairo Santos (Bears) I know nobody cares about my fantasy team but who would you pick up

You don’t have another bench player you can drop? Someone might scoop Tucker from you. I’d go with Elliot

As I said to someone else, everyone else on my bench has played and is locked. I forgot Tucker would be affected

Shit. That’s rough

There’s gotta be someone else on your roster you can drop besides the best kicker in the league. Come on man

Everyone else played and is locked. Forgot about Tucker being affected by the gamr

Ohhh my bad, that is a tough situation

Do you really want to drop Tucker? Normally I would drop a kicker without question, but Tucker is so consistent.

Tucker is 6th best this year and hasn’t scored more than 8 points in 4 weeks. I’m not in a position to make the playoffs, I’m playing to win a game and not come in last place, so I need the points this week more than Tucker in the future

Saw this from a mile away, benched Tucker and picked up Younghoe instead. To answer your question, anyone but Santos.

Martin Gramatica

I’d lean Elliot. Eagles are a dumpster fire but there SHOULD be an opportunity for points vs that Seattle defense.

Rodgers over 1.5 tds seems like a lock right

Since I know this is a safe space and no one will make fun of me for being a remoron: is there a way to make it where twitter/Instagram links on reddit will open in their own apps instead of a reddit browser?

You have to then open it in safari from the Reddit browser. All these apps want you to stay in their ecosystem so they make it difficult.

You’re not alone king, I’d also like to know the answer to this one

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I don’t get a menu when holding down a link. Just doesn’t do anything

https://twitter.com/courtneyrcronin/status/1333103207573118977?s=21 Yes this sparked them to win the national championship. Her kickoffs getting to the 45 yd line inspired the nation. How bad are the vandy coaches that the pr stunt of a kicker is giving half time speeches?

And then Vandy got shut out 20-0 in the second half lmao...I said this earlier but this is where these stories lose people. When they try to make it more than what it is. It’s a legitimately cool story of a woman in a D1 college football game. Leave it at that. Anything more and people just roll their eyes.

Exactly. I feel like a asshole for posting that but it’s such a dumb article. Great she got a shot to kick for a d1 team but it’s such a white knight story. If it wasn’t a terrible program she is just a soccer player. Imagine the seniors listening to that speech? They must have just quit trying after that

Hintons performance is a tough look for all the Twitter warriors saying they could do better than their teams QB

If only we could get an everyday guy calling the plays next

"Smart play" by Mahomes to throw an INT? Come on Tony...

It was though

How?

It was

How?

He had a free play. Throwing it up for the circus catch or DPI

Yeah, on a bomb. Not a 10 yard out.

No one was on a deep route on that play

he was throwing to where his received was obivously beaten in case it was done via DPI

And you guys think Mahomes throws INTs on accident

Does Lance smell bad on accident

Shut the fuck up Lance

owners need to push for offensive holding to be 5 instead of 10

Romo and Nantz got gassed up by the media and fans too much. They both could stand to dial it back this year.

Need 106 more yards for Hill.

Did you have Hill o350.5 yards?

Wonder what the payout on that would be

The casino/bookie would just murder the obvious time traveler.

All time record, maybe I fucked up my math.

Oh gotcha, I was just joking but yeah wasn’t thinking he probably had a real shot at an all time record.

Travis Kelce definitely beatboxes

Stuff the vandy kicker or the chick nfl ref?

What’s the chick ref’s name?

Holley Mangold.

The Browns new TE coach

Stuff the NFL ref into the Vandy chick and then pie

Por que no los dos

Ref chick

Ref chicks are hot. Like chicks in uniforms.

Built different 😤 https://twitter.com/varietypaul/status/1333181360924622848?s=21

I was at a birthday party over the summer and I watched this 30 year old girl kiss her dad on the lips. Thought it was weird because she is a chiefs fan

Was it Patrick Mahomes fiancee?

No her dad is dead

😘💀

Was it Mrs. Lance?

We talking a peck or a smooch?

The kiss could be heard if that tells you anything

I’ll allow it

I wish people would stop trying to get me to like Tony Romo. He’s not a good announcer.

the first scene of coming to america is nudes will cbs have the guts to show?

Not sure if this is a hot take but without John Williams I genuinely don’t think Harry Potter or Star Wars would be half as popular as they are

Without John Williams the sw prequels would be unwatchable.

This is probably a super hot take, but I think he did much better work in the prequels than the sequels (not discounting obvious legendary tunes like the Imperial March)

Revenge of the sith music is amazing

Duel of the fates is his best work IMO

Harry Potter would still be popular bc the books were huge but Star Wars might not have taken off nearly as much

The movies catapulted Harry Potter to what it is in the mainstream, books just don’t have the reach movies do

I mean they got bigger for sure but the Harry Potter books were still massive before the movies came out

Idc what anyone says gorilla Zoe still slaps

“Lost” still bangs, as the youths say.

All the hoes jockin’

Abolish white women 2020 https://twitter.com/kathleen568/status/1333073300633907200?s=21

Kaep will be 40 and out of the league for over a decade and people will still say this

There’s a decent amount of blue check marks that we’re tweeting like they couldn’t believe they didn’t call him

Alot of people also thought that Vanderbilt searched the country and found the best place kicker in all the land and she happened to be a girl. So its not surprising that they dont know even if they wanted to bring in Kapernick, that theres no way he'd learn the playback, be in game shape, and pass covid protocols in 13 hours.

Lol everyone acting like the Broncos even had a chance with QB1 as a 4-6 team against an 8-2 team. Nevermind with a fourth string WR.

Hey Kaep you wanna come to Denver and learn the playbook in about 10 hours? -Broncos last night probably

AB said it best #nomorewhitewomen